Transcript
Speaker: What does it take to get beyond the damage of words?
Speaker: I'm Katrina Collier.
Speaker: Join me each week as I explore what it takes to step into a happier future.
Speaker: My guests are sharing their stories of when they realized that they needed help and what it took to take that first step so that you leave inspired and maybe even start on your own path to self-love, care, compassion, and of course, happiness.
Speaker: So without further ado, let's hear their stories.
Speaker: Isabel Gatherer, welcome to Beyond the Damage of Words podcast.
Speaker: I am so excited to talk to you because we've been working together for over two years and actually I know very little of your backstory, which is shocking.
Speaker: I know.
Speaker: You're not meant to, are you, when we're working together?
Speaker: No, but you're adorable.
Speaker: You're adorable and I want to know.
Speaker: By the way, anybody like work with Isabel, they have been the most incredible two years of my life.
Speaker: So thank you for everything you do.
Speaker: So,
Speaker: What led you into healing?
Speaker: What started the process?
Speaker: What was the great realisation?
Speaker: Well, I needed it.
Speaker: I realised that when I was, there have been incidences through my life, especially when I was older and I had my own children.
Speaker: Things kept happening to me and I thought, oh God, all I need is somebody just to sit and listen to me.
Speaker: That's all I need.
Speaker: That's all I wanted.
Speaker: Just listen to me.
Speaker: Let me get it out.
Speaker: Let me talk about it.
Speaker: And I was going through a pretty rough time back in the 90s with the three young children, single mom, and in a relationship with my twin flame, which as you know,
Speaker: Can be quite, yeah.
Speaker: So, and I was also working for an organization and I was being bullied at work.
Speaker: So it was all coming to a massive, massive, massive, like a big boil.
Speaker: And that's the first time I ever went for counselling.
Speaker: And the first counselor I worked with basically went straight in as you were adopted.
Speaker: It's something to do with you being adopted.
Speaker: I'm like, no, no, no, no.
Speaker: It's nothing to do with me being adopted.
Speaker: But actually, when you look back, it is.
Speaker: So he opened me up, then went off sick.
Speaker: I was like, what now?
Speaker: Oh, my gosh.
Speaker: And then luckily that my little angel, Patrick, came along and Patrick helped me over six weeks.
Speaker: So
Speaker: That was the start of it, but that was a long time ago.
Speaker: Hang on.
Speaker: Your little angel, Patrick, is an angel angel or another counselor angel?
Speaker: Earth angel, Patrick.
Speaker: He was a social worker and he was amazing and he helped me so much.
Speaker: But then that was it for goodness knows how many years.
Speaker: And then I started again about 10 years ago on the healing journey.
Speaker: Life got in the way.
Speaker: It was almost like it was a quick fix.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So it gave you enough skills for you to be able to go, okay, I can get on with all of these things I've got going on, which is a lot.
Speaker: I bet that happens to a lot of mums as well because it's very hard to focus on yourself, though you need it.
Speaker: Yeah, I remember going to, actually before that had happened, I'd got postnatal depression when I had the twins and I'd gone to some group that, oh, Katrina, I've had it all, some group that was being run by some social workers.
Speaker: And I ended up counselling the other women in the group.
Speaker: And I thought, you're just taking on more stuff, typical empath, right?
Speaker: So I wouldn't go.
Speaker: And she phoned me up and said, why haven't you come?
Speaker: And I said, because I'm helping everybody else and nobody's helping me.
Speaker: And she said some words on that phone that resonated with me for the rest of my life.
Speaker: You need to heal because it's like a wound that you've put a plaster over and you just it's festering.
Speaker: And I thought those words stuck with me for a very long time.
Speaker: And it's so true.
Speaker: You have to take the plaster off.
Speaker: You have to do the mucking out, clearing all the dirt out in the fields, doesn't it?
Speaker: To be fair, it's more than a plaster, isn't it?
Speaker: You'll have thrown plaster upon plaster and layers.
Speaker: There's always a digging journey, isn't it, to get to the wound, which is then always so much smaller than you expect it to be when you finally get there.
Speaker: It's the gunk around it, isn't it, that needs to clear that.
Speaker: So there's been little stepping stones along the way.
Speaker: And then when I moved here, I did lots and lots of healing when I moved into this house because it's a perfect place to, Wi-Fi might not be very good, but it's a perfect place to do the healing.
Speaker: We're very lucky we're using Zencast or we'll be well.
Speaker: But you said it was 10 years ago that you first started Zencast.
Speaker: So healing the deep stuff.
Speaker: What was that?
Speaker: What did you do at that point to start going, okay?
Speaker: What did I do?
Speaker: Oh, it was when, well, it's coming up for 10 years.
Speaker: So it was when, yeah, I'd almost crumbled to the bottom.
Speaker: There was no way else to go.
Speaker: I was on the bottom.
Speaker: I'd gone through a really bad, awful divorce.
Speaker: In fact, it was less than 10 years ago, but it's
Speaker: It's nine years ago.
Speaker: And I was on a really, oh, it was awful.
Speaker: I wouldn't wish it on anybody.
Speaker: And it was then that you're at the lowest step and there's only one way you can go.
Speaker: And that's up.
Speaker: And 2016, when I actually eventually moved out of my old home and went on the road for a few years, I think, I don't think I knew you then, but I lived in a motorhome and traveled around a lot.
Speaker: And I walked, I walked and I walked and I walked.
Speaker: And that's when the healing started to happen because I was me and the dog.
Speaker: And out in the countryside or on the beach or wherever, but it was always somewhere that was kind and gentle and nurturing and supporting.
Speaker: And I just walked and I processed.
Speaker: And I let it all come up and more come up and more come up.
Speaker: And there was nobody there.
Speaker: Nobody knew me.
Speaker: There was people on the campsites I stayed on, but nobody knew me.
Speaker: And so it gave me that space that I needed to work on what was down there.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: So I didn't get it all cleared then, but that was, that was a big part of it.
Speaker: That's what started it truly off.
Speaker: And that was self-healing.
Speaker: I did it.
Speaker: Do you dare ask, what was down there?
Speaker: Sorry?
Speaker: What did you find?
Speaker: What did you find when you were doing that?
Speaker: Well, that's when a lot of the stuff that I'm going to talk about in a minute came up.
Speaker: It was a lot that's been going on for years.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: There was, I mean, I was brought up in the 60s.
Speaker: And you didn't talk about things then.
Speaker: You put a stiff upper lip, got on with it, be stoic, carry on, everything just carry, push it down, carry on.
Speaker: And the thing that came up was the grief of losing my dad when I was nine.
Speaker: And
Speaker: I wasn't encouraged to talk about it when I was little.
Speaker: There was no bereavement counselling when I was little, when we were little at that age.
Speaker: We just had to get on with it.
Speaker: And my mum, bless her heart, her way of dealing with it was just to carry on.
Speaker: I went to school.
Speaker: The day after he died, I was back at school as if nothing had happened.
Speaker: Oh, my word.
Speaker: And then my mum died when I was 17 and I did the same.
Speaker: She died on a Saturday and I went back to work on the Monday.
Speaker: Can you imagine the conversation?
Speaker: So what did you do at the weekend?
Speaker: Can you imagine?
Speaker: Well, I buried my mum and then I went back to work.
Speaker: Oh, my gosh.
Speaker: That's how we were brought up.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I don't know why there's generational trauma going on here.
Speaker: Really, I don't.
Speaker: I mean, the whole reason I've written the memoir, as you know, because you've been my birthing partner.
Speaker: By the way, anybody listening, Isabel is a massive part of the reason that this memoir will become an actual memoir.
Speaker: So thank you for that.
Speaker: But yeah, all of this suppression and all of this
Speaker: pushing down it's just so unhealthy isn't it yeah and it's going to come up sometime and it used to come up a lot when i if i drank a lot because i used to be i used to drink a lot of alcohol
Speaker: God.
Speaker: And it used to come through, you know, and I used to have a blowout nearly every once every six months I had a massive blowout.
Speaker: And you can almost imagine people running for cover because it all got too much and it all came up.
Speaker: And what I've learned over the last few years is you don't let it get to that stage.
Speaker: You talk about it.
Speaker: Even if you're talking to yourself, you talk about it and let it come through so that it doesn't build up.
Speaker: It's moving.
Speaker: It's shifting the whole time.
Speaker: And as it shifts, you can do it.
Speaker: When you were walking, I assume you were talking, even internally, even if it wasn't out loud, just letting it, yeah.
Speaker: Oh, it was always out loud, Katrina.
Speaker: I always talk to myself.
Speaker: Claire audience, you see, so I'm always talking to myself.
Speaker: Oh, gosh, I really relate to that.
Speaker: I have amazing inner dialogue.
Speaker: It's like the conversation's two-way.
Speaker: It's never just, it's, yeah.
Speaker: Don't really do it that way.
Speaker: You get all your problems sorted out.
Speaker: Totally.
Speaker: And I have little conversations with myself like, why are you thinking about that?
Speaker: That's really not helping you in the slightest.
Speaker: It's not going to, you know.
Speaker: And then a light bulb goes off.
Speaker: Yeah, I love it.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yes, all right.
Speaker: I know.
Speaker: Yes, I will do that.
Speaker: Yes, yes.
Speaker: Anybody hearing me must be bonkers.
Speaker: It's kind of crazy, though, because we're all born with our clear senses open.
Speaker: But because of the schooling system locking us down and making us all logical, then we sound crazy, whereas we know actually all we've done is reopened or become re-aware of the gifts we already had.
Speaker: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker: Thank goodness, though.
Speaker: It does explain my crazy inner dialogue.
Speaker: Anyway, back to you.
Speaker: So you're, oh, my gosh, I cannot believe you're at school.
Speaker: Oh, my God, I can't even imagine what that was like.
Speaker: Well, it was horrific because I've also had the most awful teacher at the time.
Speaker: So my dad, I was lying when my dad died.
Speaker: Was the school supportive?
Speaker: Nope.
Speaker: Absolutely not.
Speaker: And I think that is, this is, you know, beyond the damage of words.
Speaker: I think this is where the damage really happened.
Speaker: Yes, there was difficulty with the fact that we didn't talk about my dad passing and I wasn't prepared for it.
Speaker: They hadn't told me about it.
Speaker: It just happened, even though they knew it was very poorly.
Speaker: That was just how they did it in those days.
Speaker: But it was my, it was a school.
Speaker: I was in, I can't remember how old, well, I was nine, so I don't know what year I was in, but I was in primary school.
Speaker: Well, we called him middle school in those days.
Speaker: And I had a teacher called Mr. White.
Speaker: And I don't care if he hears this.
Speaker: I don't care if anybody who knows him hears this.
Speaker: It really doesn't matter because he was not a very nice teacher at all.
Speaker: He was horrible.
Speaker: I would say he's probably in his 80s now.
Speaker: So he probably was about 20 something.
Speaker: But he was a real bully.
Speaker: He had a class full of obviously boys and girls all around the same age, nine.
Speaker: And he
Speaker: His every day, and we had him in those days, we had that teacher for every subject.
Speaker: Couldn't get away from him.
Speaker: Every day, he would get the plimsoll out and he would line us up for one reason or another, get us to bend down and smack us with a plimsoll.
Speaker: Bearing in mind girls wore dresses in those days.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: I'm just, you know, it was just awful.
Speaker: And you go out the classroom and say, is anybody talking?
Speaker: Oh, can you hear me?
Speaker: Yeah, no, I was just asking what's a plimsoll for those that aren't British?
Speaker: Oh, it's a pump, like a trainer, but they were little black ones, remember?
Speaker: Okay, gotcha.
Speaker: We call them pumps, actually.
Speaker: No, black horrible things that you wore for peeing.
Speaker: He would line you up and, like, make up excuses almost to hit you.
Speaker: Every day.
Speaker: Every day.
Speaker: So he'd go out of the class and he'd come back in and he'd go, and obviously we were children.
Speaker: You talked when the teacher had gone out of the class.
Speaker: So we come back in.
Speaker: Who's been talking?
Speaker: So you put your hand up because you knew you'd get caught out anyway.
Speaker: And right out at the front of the class, we all lined up and it was the waiting.
Speaker: I know you've talked about this before.
Speaker: It was the waiting for the inevitable to happen.
Speaker: So we knew what he was doing.
Speaker: You were glad when yours had happened because you could go and sit down.
Speaker: He did hurt.
Speaker: Anyway, and then you learnt, right?
Speaker: So you learnt, okay, so he's going now, we're not going to talk.
Speaker: Because he used to hide around the corner.
Speaker: He knew you were talking.
Speaker: He'd come in, who's been talking and nobody had been talking?
Speaker: Well, somebody must have been talking and nobody had.
Speaker: So he'd get the weakest child out of the class and he'd stand that child up at the front and he'd say, right, unless you own up to talking,
Speaker: Ian is going to get a smack for every single one of you in this class.
Speaker: Oh, my gosh.
Speaker: And so because she didn't want that to happen to that poor child who was basically shaking, we all put our hand up even though we hadn't been talking, and he got his own way again and smacked us.
Speaker: Horrific.
Speaker: Crazy.
Speaker: And so you get punished for talking and then they say, stand up now and do your 10 times tables or stand up and I want to hear your spelling test.
Speaker: And you were like, you're telling us to shut up.
Speaker: You're punishing us for talking.
Speaker: And then you're asking us to stand up and talk in class.
Speaker: My gosh.
Speaker: Unbelievable.
Speaker: And I assume that also if it was like my household, I couldn't, because ironically, my father was a teacher, as you know.
Speaker: And not just in this lifetime as well.
Speaker: But the fact that I couldn't go home and say anything because I wasn't believed.
Speaker: I assume you had a similar, like the other teachers.
Speaker: I wouldn't have done it because of what mum was going through already because I could feel that she was going through what she was going through.
Speaker: So you didn't want to bring, again, and also being adopted, you want to be the good girl.
Speaker: Never wanted to get in trouble because I didn't.
Speaker: You've got that abandonment thing going on, even though you don't know you have.
Speaker: And so I didn't bring I tried not to bring trouble to the door.
Speaker: I was only ever smacked once by my parents.
Speaker: My mom smacked me once with breaking the camera and it broke my heart because I so wanted to be a good girl.
Speaker: I impaled myself on railings once, right?
Speaker: I managed to get myself off the railing.
Speaker: I had a hole in my tummy, but I didn't tell my mum because I didn't want her to be cross with me.
Speaker: Oh, my gosh.
Speaker: Oh, my gosh.
Speaker: I mean, that's a whole other layer of like, I don't know what it is.
Speaker: It's not emotional abuse.
Speaker: Is it neglect?
Speaker: I don't know what it is.
Speaker: It's not neglect.
Speaker: It's just it's not neglect.
Speaker: So what happened?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, so it's not neglect, but it's still an emotion trauma, isn't it?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So you buried it and buried it and buried it.
Speaker: How did it surface?
Speaker: How did you go, enough, I have to go and work on this?
Speaker: It was only a few weeks ago.
Speaker: It was when I'd done the healing around what had happened around me leaving my ex-husband and losing everything.
Speaker: That was massive.
Speaker: That was grief again.
Speaker: And it was when I came here.
Speaker: And everything just surfaced.
Speaker: I was working with my daughter, a shaman, and she was running a group out in Australia, and it was online.
Speaker: And I joined it, and she started talking about vulnerability.
Speaker: And then all of a sudden, I thought, no, I can't be vulnerable.
Speaker: I can't be vulnerable.
Speaker: How can I be strong if I'm vulnerable?
Speaker: But the vulnerability was the place, because the vulnerability was where I accessed all of this.
Speaker: And it was my daughter.
Speaker: And they do say your children help you, don't they?
Speaker: Mm-hmm.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And then everything came up.
Speaker: It was very messy.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, but it is this crazy thing, this fear of being vulnerable, but vulnerability is actually the strength and everybody loves it when you're vulnerable.
Speaker: They're like, oh, my gosh, you're so amazing.
Speaker: You're so vulnerable.
Speaker: It's like, okay.
Speaker: It's crazy.
Speaker: I think we will become more vulnerable and more comfortable with vulnerability.
Speaker: As we heal what's coming up already.
Speaker: So did you talk to someone specifically or was it just the opening of all your spirituality?
Speaker: Was it the working?
Speaker: Well, the spirituality started it off as well because obviously I could see what was going.
Speaker: I could see the miracles.
Speaker: I started to trust in myself.
Speaker: I started to believe in the angels and miracles happened.
Speaker: So that was a massive catalyst as well.
Speaker: So no professionals per se?
Speaker: No, I did it myself.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: how amazing yeah I did it myself it was messy you know it was snotty and messy and yuck and I wouldn't but I'm glad I did it I'm so glad I did it and now I don't let anything get in there I don't let anything come to that stage I don't bury it if something comes up something happens I vocalize it I let it out I shift it out of my body I move it I don't want it to get stuck there because I never want to go back and have to do the same thing again so rather than going I'm going to
Speaker: I'm going to, you know, gulp that down and put my head up high and walk off.
Speaker: No, I'm going to.
Speaker: And it's not always vocalize it to the person who's upset me because sometimes that doesn't work.
Speaker: It's just not allowing it to sit.
Speaker: It's not allowing it to stay.
Speaker: It's allowing it to be there so I can see what's triggered me.
Speaker: Why am I feeling this way about this?
Speaker: What that person's just said to me, why has it made me feel like this way?
Speaker: And then I can do some work around that, but I won't hold onto it because it becomes bitter.
Speaker: It becomes stagnant.
Speaker: So how do you not hold onto it?
Speaker: I walk.
Speaker: Do I want to walk in?
Speaker: I mean, I don't know that you know this one, but I had an altercation with the owner of the dog that's never on the lead that has attacked my dog.
Speaker: No, I didn't.
Speaker: On Saturday.
Speaker: Oh, no.
Speaker: Saturday?
Speaker: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: I just said to her perhaps if she was going to keep her dog off the lead that perhaps she should keep her eyes on it.
Speaker: And, you know, I would have delivered it in quite a contemptuous tone.
Speaker: Um, so it's, it is like I'm hanging onto it, even though I can see everything that she said after that told me how much she hates herself.
Speaker: It was brilliant.
Speaker: Like in that respect of, cause I've done all this work, but you know, it kind of eats at you, right?
Speaker: It's like, I'm now concerned.
Speaker: I'm going to run into her again.
Speaker: Cause I know the dog's not going to be on the lead.
Speaker: Nah, she and I being rude to each other.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: You know, it's like, so how do you, when things like that happen, go, whew.
Speaker: and let it i've had a few of those lately actually not with dogs but i've had a few in altercations with tesco men and bully boy men and i'm like what why am i people that don't like boundaries people said why people don't like self-respect oh my gosh i don't know i want to know
Speaker: I look at it and go, what is this all about?
Speaker: Why am I feeling like this?
Speaker: Why is this happening to me?
Speaker: And then if I can't process it like this, I'll process it through journaling until I get to the core of what it is.
Speaker: And usually there's something inside of you that you still need to shift, right?
Speaker: Because they are a catalyst.
Speaker: What's just happened is a catalyst.
Speaker: How you behave was the result of that.
Speaker: So go in, what is still there that you need to work on?
Speaker: And then just let whatever, then you say, thank you, Mr. Tesco man who called me a twat.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Really?
Speaker: Christmas.
Speaker: I hope he means the French version, not the other version.
Speaker: Big thank you for showing me that because that is a lesson I need to learn.
Speaker: And then if I think about him, instead of feeling like, I turn it around and go, you were obviously having a bad day.
Speaker: It was Christmas.
Speaker: You were busy.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: You wanted me to reverse five miles down the road and you only had to reverse five feet.
Speaker: That's why I was so strong.
Speaker: Oh, dear.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I think that's really like because that's super, super useful.
Speaker: And also because sometimes it is actually something that we have to learn and sometimes it is just something projected and it's great to be able to see things
Speaker: I quite liked being able to see because I feel like there might be more of this in the future when the memoir comes out.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: More people that just don't get it projecting.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And me just going, ah.
Speaker: But I quite like having all the little stories because then I can teach other people.
Speaker: Sometimes it's a lesson that we need to learn and sometimes it's their lesson.
Speaker: Right?
Speaker: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker: We always think, oh, it's our responsibility.
Speaker: And often it is.
Speaker: But sometimes it's them having a really bad day.
Speaker: And how we respond is what they need to hear for them to work.
Speaker: But whether they do the work is another matter.
Speaker: But that's not up to us, is it?
Speaker: It's true.
Speaker: Yeah, it's interesting.
Speaker: It is interesting how these things happen.
Speaker: When you're in the middle of your, you're doing the self work, when did you open up spiritually?
Speaker: When did you suddenly, you realise that you had the divine with you, angels with you and all, I mean, all the incredible work that we've done, which has been off the charts, crazy sometimes.
Speaker: I never find it over you, Katrina.
Speaker: Um,
Speaker: Originally, 2011.
Speaker: We've been travelling all around the planet and doing all sorts of amazing healing and detangling me from karmic bonds and healing past lives.
Speaker: What haven't we done?
Speaker: We've done it all.
Speaker: It's been amazing.
Speaker: It's been absolutely amazing.
Speaker: Life's quite boring now without our wishy session.
Speaker: Oh, I'm so sorry.
Speaker: The shift in me, though, in those two years is just extraordinary.
Speaker: I think that's where I really gained that self-mastery, even though I have altercations with useless dog owners.
Speaker: That self-mastery really came from our work together.
Speaker: So I'm so grateful.
Speaker: And also that feeling of that I won't ever have another life with dogs.
Speaker: my narcissistic mother that's also been quite liberating but anyway this is meant to be about you not me i know i just want to thank you as often as possible thank michelle for starting me off what did you ask me oh yeah no so when you when did your spiritual gifts open when did you realize that you could see all this stuff that other people cannot see because you do see don't you
Speaker: Yeah, I'm a clairaudient.
Speaker: I'm clairaudient, clairsentient and clairvoyant.
Speaker: Well, we've got them all, but they're the main three, clairaudient being the main one.
Speaker: So I've always been clairaudient, always talked to myself.
Speaker: So that was always there.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Clairvoyance, more so when I was a little girl, I can clearly remember the day that I closed it down.
Speaker: And that was my dad again.
Speaker: He came back two days after he died and was waiting outside my bedroom door because we never got a chance to say goodbye.
Speaker: And I think that's freaked me out and closed me down.
Speaker: Or I closed myself down, clairvoyantly, but it's back.
Speaker: And then, but...
Speaker: And in my teens, very much so, very aware in my teens.
Speaker: But then I got married to...
Speaker: Rob, who was in the Royal Navy.
Speaker: So I moved down to Gosport and it all became very masculine-led then.
Speaker: And everything got popped.
Speaker: Oh, yes, there's heavy energy there.
Speaker: Heavy energy, yeah.
Speaker: Then obviously I had the children, so I was a mum and doing all the mum stuff and you didn't have much time for anything else.
Speaker: And then it started to creep in in the 90s.
Speaker: So I had a reading in 1994 and this lady was incredible.
Speaker: But she said to me,
Speaker: you've got a guardian angel.
Speaker: And I thought, I've never heard of that before.
Speaker: And then she started talking to me about, I know.
Speaker: And she didn't say you can work with them.
Speaker: She didn't say, this is how you work with them.
Speaker: She just said, you've got a guardian angel looking after you.
Speaker: And I'm like, oh.
Speaker: And then she told me that my dad was looking after me.
Speaker: And that was lovely.
Speaker: But it was like, really?
Speaker: Wow.
Speaker: But then I didn't carry on.
Speaker: I saw her a couple of times.
Speaker: I don't really want him watching everything I'm up to.
Speaker: I remember when Monica bought my maternal
Speaker: when Monica brought my maternal grandfather through and he said, and about that boy, and he was basically talking about the toxic relationship I was in with my twin flame.
Speaker: And I was like, oh gosh, he's watching.
Speaker: So it was like, it was how amazing.
Speaker: And, and to hear that and all of this, I hadn't seen this man since I was a really young child.
Speaker: So it was amazing, but like, oh, he's watching all of that, all my mistakes.
Speaker: Oh no.
Speaker: fascinating it is the double yeah yeah so that was in the 90s and then it started again in 2012 that's when it really came through um when the children yeah I had you know the children had grown um I'd gone into I'd left the corporate world it was a big year as well
Speaker: Yeah, it was.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I'd left the corporate world and I was working for myself as a freelance PA and I kept being put in front of some amazing women who were spiritual.
Speaker: And it was, they tried me with the first one and I didn't understand what she was talking about.
Speaker: I like working for her and it fascinated me.
Speaker: First time I saw her channel, I was like, whoa, this is incredible.
Speaker: I loved it.
Speaker: It was so special.
Speaker: The universe was going, hello.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And then they put me in front of another one who was really out there and very woo, really woo.
Speaker: She was lovely to work for, but she used to channel all the time.
Speaker: And I was like, she's a witch.
Speaker: And then they put me in front of a really down-to-earth woman who, very much like me, and it was like, she said, have you worked with angels?
Speaker: And I said, no, well, come on my course.
Speaker: And it was then everything started to open up and you could almost see them going, yes, long last.
Speaker: Yeah, the little chorus, she's finally.
Speaker: I got that.
Speaker: And so how about with your, obviously your daughter's a shaman.
Speaker: So did you know?
Speaker: Could you see it in her?
Speaker: Or no, because you didn't awaken.
Speaker: No, what happened was I used to run little workshops at home and people used to come and do angel workshops with me.
Speaker: And I used to get the two girls.
Speaker: My son's aware as well.
Speaker: So I've got two daughters and Nicholas.
Speaker: And Nick was a bit more, you know,
Speaker: No, that's not for me.
Speaker: But he's becoming more and more aware now.
Speaker: But my two girls, I used to get them to come on the workshops.
Speaker: And they were brilliant.
Speaker: And Kat, the shaman, who's a shaman now, she was like, she got it.
Speaker: She was on fire.
Speaker: And everybody, if we paired up, everybody wanted to pair up with Kat because she was so good at everything.
Speaker: And I'm like, ooh, this is interesting.
Speaker: And I would like to say I set those two off on their spiritual journey because both of them have gone on to do some great work.
Speaker: And both of them are so connected, incredibly so.
Speaker: And as I say, Nicholas is now...
Speaker: Since Nicholas's dad died, well, the kid's dad died, which was 2018, Nick's become much more aware as well.
Speaker: And he sees, he messages us and says, this has just happened.
Speaker: I've just been thinking of this and this has just happened.
Speaker: Yes, son, you've got to get as well.
Speaker: I find it really lovely.
Speaker: My friend Mark Lundgren, his wife's open and his two children are, and he's seen it from such a young age that they are.
Speaker: And it's so lovely because he hasn't quite logiced it away.
Speaker: In fact, he is very aware that his own clear gifts have opened because he's watched and he's seen and he's just, you know, been open-minded to it.
Speaker: It's so lovely.
Speaker: It is.
Speaker: We now have the most amazing conversations as well, which is so cool.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It is.
Speaker: It's great, isn't it?
Speaker: And we're open.
Speaker: We come in open.
Speaker: And just hopefully, well, they are.
Speaker: They're doing their work.
Speaker: I mean, even without the horrific schooling and the bullying that you had at school, we're shut down at school.
Speaker: Well, it's shut down by parents usually, but we're also shut down at school.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Because everything's meant to be logical and proven and visible and scientific and, you know, head down, not the other way.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So, which is a shame.
Speaker: It's sad, isn't it?
Speaker: I'm seeing it still happen where teachers are so, one of my friends, a little girl, very, very open.
Speaker: And she used to draw pictures and she used to draw pictures of people and then put their auras around them.
Speaker: And she called them their colours.
Speaker: Their magic, that was it, their magic.
Speaker: And my friends, I don't know why she does this.
Speaker: She's seen their auras.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Oh, and then the teacher said she shouldn't be doing that.
Speaker: That's not right.
Speaker: And then she'd draw birds and they would be brightly coloured birds and the teacher would say, no, birds are brown.
Speaker: No, they're not.
Speaker: Parrots are all manner of colours.
Speaker: In Australia, they're not.
Speaker: Why are you being like that with children?
Speaker: Why are you saying?
Speaker: You're closing their imagination down for one thing.
Speaker: Yeah, the damage of those words.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That one...
Speaker: Drop one word and it's, yeah.
Speaker: Mine's always been that as well.
Speaker: I remember the whole like bra shopping.
Speaker: They don't come that small was the comment I got.
Speaker: You know, like and that's, you shut down, you become, it's amazing how those single words.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: Isn't it a shame?
Speaker: I think it's going to change though.
Speaker: I really do.
Speaker: It's changing.
Speaker: I think more people are far more aware.
Speaker: It's changing now.
Speaker: Rachel and Amanda, Rachel's partner, Amanda's doing a lot around children and how to parent with openness and how to identify the kids' skills.
Speaker: And it's just wonderful to watch them do it, you know, to keep those girls still open and be mindful about what words you use when you're parenting as well.
Speaker: Because I look back how I did it and I'm surprised all three of them have come out quite level.
Speaker: I'm surprised they're talking to me.
Speaker: Yeah, but they are.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I mean, look, there is no parenting manual.
Speaker: I mean, we know that, don't we?
Speaker: So what's the difference in how you feel now when you go from that person that had the festering wound that you were totally ignoring it to, okay, you've amazingly done this yourself.
Speaker: I think a lot of people need actual help, whether it's with a spiritual site yourself or a professional in therapy.
Speaker: Because we put up our own defences, so it really just depends.
Speaker: But the switch now, you've done that.
Speaker: How do you feel?
Speaker: How does life feel compared to before?
Speaker: Open, less heavy.
Speaker: certainly less heavy, more connected.
Speaker: I'm at peace.
Speaker: And I never, ever thought I'd say I was at peace.
Speaker: And I thought a few months ago, why am I, what is it?
Speaker: And I got, you're at peace.
Speaker: And I thought, oh my God, I am at peace.
Speaker: But from peace and love, you can still grow, right?
Speaker: You can still bring some wonderful things in your life.
Speaker: It's a wonderful platform to bounce off rather than despair where I was back in the, I mean, 2015 when I was like,
Speaker: it felt like I was in a well and all I could see was a pinpoint of light.
Speaker: And that was what it felt like in my postnatal depression as well.
Speaker: Like, oh my God, I'm dying.
Speaker: And all I could see was a tiny little light at the top.
Speaker: And that was what I aimed for.
Speaker: But when you're on this platform of peace and love, and I am, and I do love myself, and I never thought I'd be able to say that either.
Speaker: I know, but isn't it wonderful to be able to say, and not mean it in an egotistical way, but I love myself.
Speaker: No, no, no.
Speaker: I just do.
Speaker: I mean, it's really different because actually, going back to that dog walker for a second, one of the things she said is that first she victim blamed.
Speaker: So it's Banjo that was the problem.
Speaker: Every dog in here has a problem.
Speaker: Every.
Speaker: Always a clue.
Speaker: And then she said, nobody likes you.
Speaker: You're a horrible human.
Speaker: To me, which really, really amused me.
Speaker: But it wouldn't have.
Speaker: So when I was full of self-hate, I would have been so upset by that.
Speaker: Whereas actually now I'm like, no, you dislike me, which is fine.
Speaker: I don't have a problem with that.
Speaker: Because I like me and I'm a lovely human being.
Speaker: And it was like that ability to be able to step out of it.
Speaker: It's funny what you say.
Speaker: People think, is it egotistical?
Speaker: No, it's not.
Speaker: It's just this acceptance that some people like you and some people don't.
Speaker: As long as you love you, that's all that matters.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You know, there's people that you don't like.
Speaker: There's people that I don't like.
Speaker: We're humans.
Speaker: You know, we're having this adventure in a human body.
Speaker: We're not going to like everybody, are we?
Speaker: No, which is fine.
Speaker: But that difference in how I react to that personal insult, I was reacting to her behavior because I was fearful for my dog.
Speaker: I wasn't reacting to the comment, which was just like, oh, you don't like yourself.
Speaker: Oh, you poor thing.
Speaker: like it's it's very it's very different it's but it is people say don't they they let you know in their words yeah in that kind of a thing yeah yeah and it's funny when you say the piece I was thinking a lot of people because I particularly at the moment I'm writing my second business book and I spent a lot of time on my own but I'm so happy
Speaker: I'm just at peace.
Speaker: And it's like, and others could look at that.
Speaker: There's also that weird thing where others kind of look at you at peace and feel a bit threatened by it.
Speaker: It's kind of weird, isn't it?
Speaker: Or she must be bored.
Speaker: Oh, really?
Speaker: You must be bored.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: I'm the happiest I've ever been.
Speaker: With our inner dialogue, you couldn't possibly be.
Speaker: Just cop me some fluff for five minutes, will you?
Speaker: We've got a lot of people, a lot of stuff around us.
Speaker: You just can't sit.
Speaker: Oh, God.
Speaker: It's a fascinating journey though, Katrina, isn't it?
Speaker: It's like I love it.
Speaker: I love this journey.
Speaker: I really do.
Speaker: And what's it like helping really quickly because, you know, as usual, I run over.
Speaker: I run over time as usual.
Speaker: What's it like helping others as well?
Speaker: Is it quite amazing now that you come at everything from that love and that spirituality level
Speaker: It must be quite something.
Speaker: I love it.
Speaker: I love seeing people transform.
Speaker: And yes, it can take time.
Speaker: We know it can take time.
Speaker: And we also know we can slip back sometimes.
Speaker: But when we've got the tools, we know we can pull ourselves back out again.
Speaker: It's lovely to see people come and not believe in themselves, have the weight of the world on their shoulders, maybe relationships falling apart, whatever.
Speaker: And then over time, grow to love who they are.
Speaker: and start to honor who they are and start to put themselves first.
Speaker: But obviously, it just doesn't happen like that.
Speaker: You've got to release.
Speaker: You've got to clear out what we talked about before, mucking out the wound.
Speaker: But then you just see them grow, and you see them even talking differently than they were before, less of the self-criticism, less of the self-hatred, more of the love.
Speaker: The love of yourself takes a bit of work, doesn't it?
Speaker: But once you can, you just don't go back.
Speaker: You know, because if you know how it feels.
Speaker: I always say the inner child work was key.
Speaker: And I know you and I did some inner child work, which was just amazing.
Speaker: I remember in one of the meditations when she handed me, I talk about this in the memoir, she just like handed me a key and she's like sticking it in my heart and she's trying to turn it to get me to unlock my heart.
Speaker: It was like, yeah, good luck, love.
Speaker: You got given some oil, didn't you?
Speaker: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: It was a codicizer that ended up handing me my heart.
Speaker: That's how we ended up opening it.
Speaker: I don't know if you remember that, but yeah, it was huge.
Speaker: It was like, oh, look, we give up.
Speaker: You're not going to do it yourself.
Speaker: Here you go.
Speaker: But it was there.
Speaker: That was that real, yeah, that self-love moment.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: For those who don't think that we're both batshit crazy after they've listened to this.
Speaker: They just lied.
Speaker: You might not broadcast this one.
Speaker: Totally broadcasting this one.
Speaker: Because this is where I found that self-mastery and that pace and my gifts.
Speaker: Oh, my gosh, my gifts, as you know, are just extraordinary.
Speaker: I had no idea.
Speaker: To me, I'm just like, like you said, I'm just really down to earth and normal.
Speaker: So it's like, what do you mean I can –
Speaker: do all of this as well.
Speaker: So, yeah.
Speaker: But if they would like to talk to you, have a session, you know, some of the amazing things you do, your website?
Speaker: Well, you can follow me on Instagram, Isabel Gatherer on Instagram.
Speaker: And you can set my YouTube channel back up again.
Speaker: Yes, I've been watching those.
Speaker: I'm putting stuff on my YouTube channel.
Speaker: And again, Isabel Gatherer.
Speaker: And I'm also the website, www.IsabelGatherer.com.
Speaker: And if you want to read it, you can book it.
Speaker: the session in from there as well or you can drop me a message at isabel gatherer no isabel at isabel gatherer.com um that's how you get in touch usually start off with a reading so a spiritual yeah that's how we started yeah you just yeah you just gave sophie power a reading and she's like
Speaker: She was one of my first guests on the podcast as well.
Speaker: She keeps going, oh, my God, she just knew all this stuff.
Speaker: I'm going, yeah.
Speaker: I told you that.
Speaker: So thank you for that.
Speaker: Thank you so much.
Speaker: And I think really, really inspirational for anybody who's had that kind of trauma from school where we often don't talk about how much of an impact that is.
Speaker: as well we often talk about parental and less so or sibling and less so about that so thank you for sharing that story you're welcome you're welcome but we get through it we come out the other side like you say the healing is really important so it must it will help to transform you thank you for tuning in to beyond the damage of words how brave how vulnerable
Speaker: all to inspire listeners like you to take a step or inspire others to take a step.
Speaker: Imagine what healing we could create if we normalize this conversation.
Speaker: So please pass this on and of course, subscribe so we can do just that.
Speaker: Until next time, thank you.
