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Nonsensical Nonsense: Turkey Day hungover
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the food has all been eaten the family has finally left and the football has been played now its time to get weird fockers!! The doors are wide opened and everyone is welcome to join the panel so come on in and lets have some fun
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Transcript
Introduction and Thanksgiving Greetings
00:03:08
Speaker
What? Happy Saturday. What's going on, everybody? Happy Thanksgiving weekend. Hopefully you guys had a good Thanksgiving. Got to hang out with sir family and friends and watch some foosball.
00:03:20
Speaker
There were some good a lot of good games on this weekend. And you got NFL and college, but we're not talking about football. not allowed to talk about football on my own show. But nonetheless.
00:03:33
Speaker
Welcome to nonsensical nonsense. It's Saturday night. You already know things are gonna get a little little bit weird like they always do Appreciate y'all the chatter's box. What's going on? Seeing y'all in there jerseys out there Zanfio Zanfio send me that show. I want to check it out. Britt was in the chatter's box. Moe dog in the building. What up, Sarge?
00:03:57
Speaker
Appreciate all the love in the chatterbox. Yes, do what Jersey said. Happy Saturday, everyone. Like, share, and subscribe. And you can do that very easily. You can either go to our you social media if you want to look it up.
00:04:14
Speaker
Facebook, Instagram, X, TikTok, YouTube, all that shit. The Nonsensical Network. Or you can make it really easy for yourself. And right down there, scroll it on the bottom of the screen.
00:04:27
Speaker
bio.link slash nonsensical network. Yeah, make sure you like, share, and subscribe. Tell a friend because nine out of ten grannies do approve.
00:04:38
Speaker
Just saying. I can't make this shit up. It's scientific. I don't make the rules. There you go. Well, Cash App, yep, appreciate that jersey. Appreciate you.
00:04:51
Speaker
ah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been saying it all season. the only ones that seem to be surprised are Ohio state fans. Uh, I mean, you got a little help from the refs. Uh, it should have been a 20 to nine game, not 27, but
00:05:07
Speaker
that's okay. Officials suck. Nonetheless.
00:05:12
Speaker
I wish me. know but and Yeah, I didn't even know. Clemson Tigers or South Carolina are so irrelevant right now that they put them on the SEC network. They weren't even on regular. channel
00:05:25
Speaker
We like it weird. Kayla is currently passed out, I will say. That you said hi in when she wakes up? ah No, I wouldn't say it was an ass-whooping, but i thought it was honestly going to be up in the higher 40s. I thought that higher state was going to get more points.
00:05:43
Speaker
What up, Kaylee? I got in trouble because I that like called her that hurt earlier this week. Fucking MoDog.
00:05:55
Speaker
What up, Jedi? All right. Shatters box. We see I'm caught up. Appreciate y'all being here. and Love you guys. Hopefully you guys had a great... Let me get
Thanksgiving Stories and Family Humor
00:06:03
Speaker
let me get Granny Glick off the screen here.
00:06:06
Speaker
She's a sweet lady. She's a little fun. She's a little out there. She's off the rails. She's unhinged. boo Yeah. A little football talk. a little football chatter before somebody comes up and gets all cranky pants with us because I'm um' a meathead.
00:06:24
Speaker
Let's welcome Everybody to the stage. My little gremlin.
00:06:31
Speaker
I hate you. Don't hate me. scott put so much work and energy in that. I know.
00:06:43
Speaker
He sent one of me from when I because i was on the Lazy and Shaman show last night. He sent one of me last night and I looked like an old lady straight up. It was so bad.
00:06:54
Speaker
I'm not sending it to you. You know I could just ask him for it, right? I know. He'll probably give it to you so easily. He sent me one today, and I'm not quite sure if that was supposed to be me and him in this picture, but um I'm a little nervous. I'm curious now. Yeah, I'll throw it up here later on.
00:07:13
Speaker
It was funny as fuck. He had me dying. I was like, this motherfucker. He kills it every time. um We'll be playing with the backgrounds tonight. yeah Hey, that's a good one. Oh my gosh, and it's like he's like just peeking over while he's... He's just peeking over our... a nipple Excuse me. while i What's going on? How was your how was your Thanksgiving?
00:07:41
Speaker
and It was good. It was a small one. ah We usually have like our huge family, but I didn't go down to the shore. went to my mother's on the farm.
00:07:52
Speaker
was just me and my mom. My little big brother, because he's bigger than me. And my little big sister, because she's bigger than me. That's how my older sister introduces me to to all her friends, is her baby big brother.
00:08:06
Speaker
yeah My sister's not, she's tiny like you. She's she's short, and she's she tiny. And then there's my big ogre ass that just, I don't belong in my family, I'm pretty sure.
00:08:18
Speaker
my mom was banging the milkman or the truck driver. that they garbage wing stop and I'm just saying I'll have to, I'll have to send you a picture of my sister and I together. So you could, you could see it's almost looks like you and I together.
00:08:33
Speaker
ahs amazing Yeah. It doesn't make sense. Well, they're why they're big too, because their dad is like shorter than me as well. So I'm like, It doesn't add up.
00:08:47
Speaker
My mom was a slore back then, so who knows?
00:08:52
Speaker
No, nice. Kayla and I went to her sister's. That was cool. um Got to hang out. Our parents were there, and her brother and all his family was there.
00:09:05
Speaker
Some of his family, so that was cool. And then today we went and did a late Thanksgiving with my broster and his wife, and they had some of their friends over. And watch the the game.
00:09:15
Speaker
The game. Whatever. I don't even want to talk about any of the games. Whatever. but You had a rough week. You had a rough Thursday night. How? Benji, what's going on? The birds were not flying.
00:09:32
Speaker
The birds were definitely clipped this weekend. For sure. But yeah, it was it was we had a good time. we had We've been busy all weekend, too. Did you have at least a normal like Thanksgiving dinner, like turkey, stuffing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah it's The traditional. Even today. been hearing a lot of people like eating like weird shit lately and not like normal Thanksgiving shit. i i heard I heard somebody was doing, i
Food Discussions and Light Banter
00:10:03
Speaker
think when we were at Kayla's family the other night,
00:10:05
Speaker
Somebody was talking about they were doing a surf and turf for Thanksgiving. Like steak and seafood for Thanksgiving dinner. Yeah, well, that's kind of different.
00:10:18
Speaker
As long as they're still stuffing, I'm good. And green bean casserole, I need that in my life. Oh, yeah. yeah I got to have taters, got to have green bean casserole. I just finished all my leftovers today, and I was like, mmm. I'm waiting on my broaster to actually bring me dessert over because my sister-in-law, she made everything. Shout out to her. mean, she cooked everything, and they had a lot of food today. This was today. And she made all the desserts, but there was a cherry pie or something that was still cooking.
00:10:51
Speaker
When we left and she was like, you didn't get any cherry pie. I said, tell Nick to bring it over later. He's like, yeah, I'll bring it over. Whatever. um i That's what I'm going to be on. Some cherry pie.
00:11:07
Speaker
And I guess there's a pineapple cheesecake that she made. so o yeah i just had some apple pie. was was delicious.
00:11:18
Speaker
Noice. That asparagus? or That sounds like a normal ah normal Thanksgiving for for for you, Moe Dog. Did you at least get the big jumbo purple crayons?
00:11:31
Speaker
Oh, yeah, you got to go hard. i probably ate like over my body weight in food. so mean, it's, I mean, it's, I guess it's saying much. if you If you want to eat like that all year round, I mean, i'm who am I to judge or who is anybody to judge? I'm going to eat a Thanksgiving meal every fucking night.
00:11:53
Speaker
I mean, on Thanksgiving, yeah you got to dive in and and and be ridiculous and eat way too much. Oh, for sure. Stinky purple pee. Hashtag stinky purple pee.
00:12:04
Speaker
Why don't you hashtag that, Jedi? Yeah, right? What the fuck? Are slacking? And upside down, by the way.
00:12:13
Speaker
64 pack. Hell yeah. Wait, what is that upside down pineapple thing again? What that mean? That's swingers. Oh, okay. Or the lifestyle, as as they say now. Oh, okay.
00:12:25
Speaker
all alright okay forgiving it'sing I if I even knew. They're a part of the lifestyle.
00:12:33
Speaker
Yeah, swingers. a oh why I made that nice and fresh. you have fun hanging out with the special needs kids last night on the short bus?
00:12:47
Speaker
Yeah, it was cool. And then it got boring, so I was like, all right, I'm dipping. No, it was fun, Mandy. Stop, Dad. It was funny. Yeah, i popped this for I popped in for a little few minutes. I was in the and the chat.
00:13:04
Speaker
Yeah, talking shit. I wasn't talking shit. I don't talk shit. Never talk shit. i forget what you said but you were saying something about me ah i said i said none of us here on the network want to come hang out on their panels that's why we sent this floor to you or some shit no actually kayla went out for her nephew's 18th birthday last night they went line dancing uh she was gone for a couple hours and i was gonna jump on uh then she got home and
00:13:41
Speaker
then i've been fussing I've been fussing with Zencaster, trying to get episodes uploaded and stuff like that. um so I was like, screw it. I'm going to bed.
00:13:52
Speaker
My brain was hurting. click cause Why do I cause global warming?
00:13:59
Speaker
Are you can push but yours by pushing the buttons tonight? before we get I was just doing it because you were focused. You're doing it. you're doing it It's your show. I don't care who does it. I just want to make sure we're not We're not walking all over each other.
00:14:12
Speaker
You do the comments, I'll do the banners and shit. The back door. but yeah Shocking, Brittany's at the back door.
00:14:24
Speaker
Speaking of the back door, it's a little early, but it's open for business for anybody who wants to come up on the panel. And the link is in the chat. You guys are all welcomed as always.
00:14:39
Speaker
uh let me see got to see the moomoo's the movie thanksgiving where you got farm yeah it's where my mother lives we're on the farm my granddaddy's farm well he's dead now but is he in your car unfortunately no i wish i had a little piece of him that's weird relax Like immediately I realized what I said.
00:15:13
Speaker
Anymore, we just...
00:15:18
Speaker
I need to think before I speak sometime. We've learned that is when it comes to you, it's really just the norm anymore. i mean as you as you i didn't even I didn't even miss a beat. I just kept talking. I'm just going to let you...
00:15:37
Speaker
Brittany does backdoor. What?
00:15:41
Speaker
What? Can't find a button. i found a button. I found just the buttons. yeah Not necessarily. not but did it did Did who get moved? My mom? No, mom's still in the backseat. Or in the trunk.
00:15:58
Speaker
but
00:16:02
Speaker
she's still in the trunk gonna leave her back there she seems to be uh she seems to be happy and content for the uh for the time being so we're just gonna leave her alone she seems to like it back there hey you know what she's crazy oh dude i saw a skinnier version of you at sheets today let's just ah I don't even know what exactly that means.
00:16:33
Speaker
He looked like it looked exactly like you, but like a little bit like not as bulky. I feel like this is another scenario where all white guys with beards look the same. No, no, no, dude. I'm telling you, he had the stripes that and the glasses and everything. like I had to do a double take. I'm like, whoa, was that great?
00:16:52
Speaker
Was that great? Mom junk in the trunk. I really thought it was you. She's been quiet. Mom's a drunk. A skinnier Sasquatch, they say.
00:17:07
Speaker
ah
Thanksgiving Events and Family Anecdotes
00:17:09
Speaker
wouldn't say necessarily like skinny or just like a smaller build in a sense. Not like, but just barely. That's why I had to do a double take because I was like, holy shit.
00:17:23
Speaker
Get real sick and tired of you guys just thinking all white guys with beards look the same. That's racist. It's, no.
00:17:33
Speaker
Beardist. It's a beardist.
00:17:38
Speaker
So would that be a cis-squatch? Maybe.
00:17:46
Speaker
Get your asses up in here, motherfucker. Somebody else said that just the other day was like,
00:17:52
Speaker
Oh, Kayla's brother, our sister and brother-in-law just got back from a cruise not too long ago. And they're like, we had Cruise Glick on the ship. He looked just like you. And he had the same personality as you. We had fun with Cruise Glick. I was just like, well, okay. And I guess that's what they were calling. He was Cruise Glick. Cruise Glick. They're like, he was a big guy. had a beard just like you. All right,
00:18:18
Speaker
They them Sasquatch. They them Squatch. Why you gotta be so basic then?
00:18:24
Speaker
don't know, man.
00:18:28
Speaker
Glick's a fun guy. Glick's a fun guy.
00:18:35
Speaker
You're a mushroom? hey you got you got a dog at your back door sniffing around. You gotta let him in
00:18:49
Speaker
Holy Moses. i was What up, Modo? What up, Glick?
00:18:57
Speaker
Why does my name say Chris? Hang on, I gotta mute my YouTube channel. i was like, where the fuck's that echo coming from? I do that all the time. Why was all my shit completely fucked? I just realized my name is Chris.
00:19:12
Speaker
I had to come up just to prove that all white guys with facial hair didn't fall in the exact same category. Well, you got different facial hair. I get what you're saying. Yeah, because we'll get the same. I i get the same shit for like guys with gray goatees, you know or white goatees.
00:19:28
Speaker
Yeah. yeah Yeah. You look just like you. And I look over at the guy and he's like four foot three and Cuban. And I'm like, well, look, anything I like. He just has a beard.
00:19:39
Speaker
Yeah.
00:19:42
Speaker
Well, that's all it took. yeah But on the other hand, I can go, you know, guys like Jason Momoa, Henry Cavall, Brad Pitt, you know, guys like that, some of those guys that have been voted sexiest man in the in the world, they've all had beards. So I guess that's good company to keep if we all look the same.
00:20:03
Speaker
Could be worse, right? That could be a lot worse. If you're comparing yourself to any of them right now, it's worth it. You could be a ginger in flannel. I mean, you know.
00:20:14
Speaker
Who's that? Hi, Britt. Oh, hey, what's up? but Who's a ginger in flannel? It's not me. What's going on, Wanda?
00:20:25
Speaker
You will forever be a ginger to me.
00:20:29
Speaker
yeah it looks it looks It looks ginger-esque right now, man. the lighting it does look It does look red. If I didn't know any better, your hair has been looking red the last couple weeks. But you've seen me in person and you've seen that it's blonde. That's why I said I didn't know any better.
00:20:48
Speaker
but yeah I will murder you in your sleep. Jet, I get your whore ass up here, man. what What do you got against gingers? You know what? Jersey, get your fucking ass up here.
00:20:59
Speaker
Nothing. It's just that I am not one.
00:21:05
Speaker
Are you sure? Are you sure? Maybe a little, I got a little strawberry because I am part Irish. So it's like strawberry blonde. Look, that was one time and it was like for three and a half minutes to report. Just it was on St. Patrick's day and it was in the back alley. Does that count?
00:21:27
Speaker
And that was not a potato in the front of his pants.
00:21:33
Speaker
Or the back. Is that a potato? There's probably one on the back. I'm
00:21:41
Speaker
ju i'm still in a fucking mini food coma, man. yeah jura How was your turkey day? Lots of purple crayons?
00:21:51
Speaker
It was. It was good. Got to hang out with the fam and then I got to hang out with the rest of the fam yesterday for turkey 2.0. And then about three hours ago I had a fucking Philly cheesesteak, man. I've eaten more food in the last three days than eat in a week, man.
00:22:06
Speaker
Me too. Philly cheesesteak sounds good, not going lie. Have you seen the commercial for the new Taco Bell or the Taco Bell new items? They've got a Philly cheesesteak burrito. that Not going to lie, it looks pretty damn good.
00:22:19
Speaker
But I'm not against checking that out either. so I also feel like going to eat it and there's going to be a lot of regret afterwards. Yeah, my asshole's not going to be happy with that. you know Yeah, I hadn't had a fucking cheesesteak in like probably close to eight months.
00:22:35
Speaker
Then I was driving by a fucking Penn Station. I was like, yeah, going to stop there and grab one.
00:22:41
Speaker
Penn Station? It's a sub shop. so Yeah. so You don't have Penn Stations by you? It's gas station. It's a gas station. yeah The local gas station. That's what I was thinking. I was out front begging for quarters and shit first, too.
00:22:58
Speaker
I agree, Josie. I agree. That's about the only good thing to ever come out of Philly is the T-State. I mean... And then Tartu Convention. That and Kensington Ave so we can watch it on fucking YouTube. um That is a fun channel to watch. It is.
00:23:16
Speaker
I've stumbled upon that channel in my dune of scrolling. I'm also a fan of the CCTV in Los Angeles and yeah i like Detroit and other quote-unquote shitty cities.
00:23:34
Speaker
Yeah. Watch shit go down real time. Yeah. Yeah. I saw a stabbing last year in fucking New Orleans, man. They got one of the bars down there in like one of the busiest fucking parts of the main street there has got a really nice quality fucking CCTV mounted on the corner and literally sitting there fucking watching it. It was like, I don't know, 11 PM their time, you know, and straight up saw a guy get fucking shanked right in the middle of the fucking street.
00:24:00
Speaker
Jesus. I mean, it is New Orleans. That happens. Right. quite for my From my understanding, I guess primary down there has gone through the roof in the last several years.
00:24:11
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. I went down there, me and like three other Marine buddies when I went down there, when I was stationed in South Carolina and we went down for a three day weekend. And I'll tell you what, I had never been there, but, and this was fucked. This was 25, 30 years ago. Right.
00:24:25
Speaker
But, uh, but even back then, man, it just, It was cool looking, right? Like all the architecture was cool, but yeah legit. I mean, and I'm talking on like, you know, Mardi Gras weekend, of course. So I don't know, like the rest of the year, it might be normal, but Mardi Gras weekend, the whole place just smells like fucking piss, man. Cause everybody just pisses on the fucking, on the street and in the corners, right? know, alleyways and shit. Holy, it just smells like you're walking through a fucking prison, man.
00:24:52
Speaker
I'm assuming that's like Mardi Gras weekend just because like, that's what I'm saying. It's, it was probably just then. wall to wall people partying and drinking. I've had friends that have gone down there like my grandparents went down to Mardi Gras several years ago. i think this was a good maybe around the time I was getting out of high school. It might have been 1920, something like that, when my grandparents went down. And that's what my grandpa said when he came home. He's an angry old man anyway. like it just smelled like piss and vomit everywhere. It did, yeah. Accurate.
00:25:23
Speaker
Totally accurate. I believe it. Mardi Gras weekend, I mean, because that's that's the whole that's the whole fucking point. You just go down there, you get stupid drunk. In the corner, yeah. je said Jersey said, when you gotta to go, you gotta go. It reminds me of what my dad used to say. My dad used to say, wherever you be, let your pee be free. Nice. You have a leaner, it's easier for you.
00:25:47
Speaker
It is. The whole world is our restroom. We can anywhere. I used to have that's right like one of those funnel things. i need to get a new one. A Vans cup for the car? Why does that not surprise me at all?
00:26:01
Speaker
I tried to pee in a can one time. hu Without it? Yeah. in my sister's room because her room didn't close all the way but i like my no no bathrooms in the house click really dark remember it was a barn try to be in a can and i was doing really good but then i started laughing because i was doing so good and then it was and then it became a mess well brett i i'll give you a a uh
00:26:35
Speaker
Spoiler alert, it's not easy for men to pee in a can either. so Especially when you're drunk. You've got to do that close the one eye shit you know so you're not seeing three and you got to aim for the middle. you know oh we got Because if you get the tip too close, you might slice it on the top of the can. Like Dwight on The Office.
00:26:55
Speaker
but i should i britney you know what i'm talking about i what up yeah They're going to do a raid on the other branch you need you need a gray baseball hat man
Casual Conversations and Everyday Jokes
00:27:09
Speaker
you got the gray hoodie and the great the gray sky i i do have some a head floating right it be default floating around the default and the fuck out of things Oh yeah, I sent me that snap earlier. That song came on. I was like, I don't have Snapchat. You know how they have those... Oh, I sent you the message. Let's say like salt life and stuff like that.
00:27:39
Speaker
Just a slower life one? right Oh yeah. Just a white circle that says default life underneath of it for just that. Just a plain white circle. he's He's going to get a great baseball hat.
00:27:50
Speaker
He's going to get a gray baseball hat so Slore life. Slore life. That'd be a good one to make up for you guys, man.
00:28:02
Speaker
this would This would be the picture. Aw, I'm okay with that. I
00:28:10
Speaker
actually look kind of cute. oh fuck That would be the picture. Yeah. i look so angry he made me angrier in it than i you're like a little you're like a little uh you're like a little nonsensical gremlin in that picture i look like i'm shitting on the floor not the wrong picture it does look like you're taking a dookie man well i mean apparently she uh well um apparently she yeah kisses and cans in their in her sister's bedroom. She tries.
00:28:42
Speaker
try yes I was succeeding until I started laughing. And then I dropped the can outside of her window. Why why would you? Sarge already answered this question, but I'm going to go ahead and I'm going to ask it anyways, but why didn't you just go to the bathroom in the house? Because her door didn't shut all the way and we had it set up to like block all the light and we didn't want to open it again to have to remaneuver everything and the fort and everything. here's an idea. Why didn't you just, you're man in the back door. So you gotta be paying attention. I should've just went out the window. that's what I was gonna say.
00:29:25
Speaker
Why you just squat your ass out the window and and just right down the side of the house? Cause then she would've had dribble on the floor. Her bare foot would've slipped on it. She'd have fucking fell backwards and she'd have fell out two story window.
00:29:36
Speaker
I would have been dead. Sorry, I didn't know who that was. was waiting for you to do
00:29:44
Speaker
They're jamming whoever it is. Yeah, she might have fallen out. And that was like, it was pretty it was a pretty far hu I would have my sister hold my hands.
00:29:59
Speaker
It's better and better. if You would have just squatted out the window. Your sister's holding you. got her feet propped up against the whole thing the the wall holding you. So, you know, hopefully it wasn't a windy night, you know?
00:30:13
Speaker
Yeah. And you know, it sucks. We ended up opening the fucking door after that. Anyways. Hmm. I kind of figured that was going to be part of the story. Well, I was hoping you would have to open the door so you could get like a towel or paper towels or something to clean the piss off. Yes.
00:30:29
Speaker
Yes. No, they they just rolled around on it like a dog does. was going to say, your sister should... Dry it up with a shirt. Put hay on it. Yeah, your sister should have rubbed your nose and beat you at the paper with the newspaper. Right.
00:30:43
Speaker
No, I taught her how to do that. You taught her how to piss in a can or piss on the floor? Of course.
00:30:52
Speaker
yeah she did love what we went She did it and afterwards She was like now that's the last time I'm going to show you how not to do it Yeah And then when we went in the bathroom We found my mom's dentures And we took turns putting them in And we were like You are a foul Little monster Brittany I almost fucking choked on it Yeah yeah you did Mo Dog Yeah
00:31:24
Speaker
Yeah, you always want to follow a piss story up with. Then we went in the bathroom and found mom's dentures. So you had your piss-covered hands. Right. okay and All next day, mom was like, my mouth tastes salty. What the fuck's going on?
00:31:39
Speaker
Damn, I wasn't trying to tell you guys any of this because it's part of my bit. Well, it's funny. So therefore, that's a plus because it's it's funny.
00:31:50
Speaker
You might be the funniest comedian up there.
00:31:55
Speaker
What are you, minus 30 days? T-minus 30 days? Dude, yes. ah Where are we? at Yeah, about 30 days. It's coming up close.
00:32:09
Speaker
We get in there. You got this, Britt. You got it. No need to be nervous. No, I am reworking. i reworked it. Holding her notes like, fuck, I can't read this shit.
00:32:21
Speaker
Hey, fuck you. medium prove She's going to be paranoid at any moment. I'm going to trigger her. tora I told you, I promise you, I will not, I'm not going to do anything at all to you while you're doing your actual standup. I promise you that because i am very much, I'm very curious and also very excited to hear you do standup.
00:32:42
Speaker
So I don't want to do anything to ruin it. I'll actually go to the back of the room so you can't see me if that helps. Actually, no, I need to be able to see you because you're part of one of my jokes. Of course I am.
00:32:55
Speaker
such I'm such a huge celebrity and such a big rock star and a huge part of my life. Yeah, you're roast. I'm just going to be like, hey. So since I know I'm going to be drinking, sorry, didn't mean to talk about you. Since I know I'm going be drinking, like if I were to go up to that, I have a question.
00:33:12
Speaker
Can you door dash yourself up to Akron from Kentucky and then back? You can Uber yourself. Yeah, was about to say DoorDash yourself. It might be a very expensive Uber, but you could do it. yo i i i can't I can't do the thinking for you guys as well, man. All I can do is put the jokes out there.
00:33:29
Speaker
I know what you're saying, but... we're We're talking about SlurDash? I will... You didn't you were gone all the time and you didn't put a gray cap on. What the fuck? No, I didn't. i didn't yeah did you did Hey, did you pull Brittany and go in the bathroom and say fuck it and just squat and piss on the floor?
00:33:46
Speaker
Exactly what i did. Took a while to clean up. I'm a wild animal. all like Not my teeth, not my problem.
00:33:56
Speaker
I wish I could find those pictures. You took pictures of it? but Yeah. Oh, see i must like She's squatting piss flying everywhere. She's like, hey.
00:34:11
Speaker
We caught her on s slower cam. Pick a bit.
00:34:16
Speaker
but Pissing on the floor. What did you say that was? A peekaboo? Slore lives matter. more line Thank you. hashtag Jedi, did you have a good turkey day, man?
00:34:31
Speaker
I did. yeah i enjoyed it. that was My mother-in-law great cook.
00:34:39
Speaker
what are My mother-in-law's a great cousin. We all did the same thing. We all just stuffed our fucking faces. yeah what what whole point What else can you say nice about your mother-in-law, Jedi? She's an extra maker. I love my mother-in-law.
00:34:53
Speaker
was going to I've heard you brag about her before. I was going to say, she's like i hit the lottery for mother-in-laws. She's cool as fuck. oh I did too. Mine died six months ago.
00:35:04
Speaker
Oh, that was fucking dark. I'm going to cry a little bit. ah I like it. It was fucked up. It's the way my brain works, though. can i Can I put her in the trunk with my mom? maybe though I think she might already be back there, man. They're trunk mates.
00:35:24
Speaker
They're back there like writing raps and shit. They're like, ashes to ashes. I was playing Yellow Wolf. Don't make me go pop the trunk. Right?
Childhood Memories and Family Dynamics
00:35:33
Speaker
You.
00:35:35
Speaker
you guys know Yellow Wolf, I might be too old. Hey, man, we can just start a whole dead mom. I know Yellow Wolf. Bring your dead moms. Bring me your dead. That's cemetery for dead moms.
00:35:46
Speaker
bring me your dead this not for so sir at cemetery for dead moms Sometimes people take what I say literally. I'm going get the NERC PD. Dead mom's poet Sir, we're going to need you to pop the trunk. Oh, shit. It ain't even Ash Wednesday. You ain't ready for this, officer. Oh, damn.
00:36:07
Speaker
okay oh shit it didn't even ash wednesday you ain't ready for this officer
00:36:19
Speaker
ah da We understand one body, but why do you have 14 of them in your fucking trunk, sir? I'd be like, look, man, I host a podcast. You gotta to catch them all. I made an offer. They took me up on it.
00:36:32
Speaker
gonna We're going to clip this so so I can be like, here, look, this is the proof. I grew up on a commune. Court evidence. I grew up on a farm.
00:36:45
Speaker
I grew up in a barn. but The farm around Just a barn I grew up in the woods Hey I'll tell you what Some of the best parties Like right after I moved to Kentucky This is going to sound so fucking Kentucky But Right after I moved here man A friend of mine owns a farm And he had a barn party I'd never been to a barn party Because I'm a city kid And it was a fucking blast man Have you ever been to like a field party? Yeah yeah yeah Yep Yep we um we almost got but We almost got this dude's cornfield on fucking fire at a field party.
00:37:21
Speaker
It was the neighbor the neighbor's fucking, he hadn't like taken all his shit down yet. yeah we got it we got We got it stomped out like five feet before it got to his shit. you know I will tell you it might where I grew up at. No dog started the fire.
00:37:38
Speaker
Be careful because that's very good there's two different types of barn parties. One, you might show up to an actual party. The other one, you might be building a barn. might wake up next to a goat in the morning. Well, that's going to happen.
00:37:51
Speaker
yeah If you're Amish, I mean, you know. ah ram you We have a lot of Amish where I live. I've been driving over the fucking shit constantly. and My tires are like fucking caked and horse shit.
00:38:04
Speaker
You get out and on them? Get traction from that?
00:38:12
Speaker
I think we know what the theme of tonight's show is going to be this is a barn party the bad horse and carrots pull off the side of the road pee on this and make their horses walk through it my sister lives up in and my niece live up in Mansfield and there's a lot of fucking Amish on the outskirts up around there your sister and niece aren't too far from where I'm at no they're not too far where I grew up at either But there's a lot of, like, farmer's markets, and they have, like, the freshest, most delicious shit.
00:38:45
Speaker
So I'm okay with it. I'll take corn and fish in my tires day. advertise ye ye there's ah There's a little local fucking store that does just that. You know, it's got all the produce and shit like that, and it's been there since, like, 1928 or some shit and i just... Happened to stumble across it one day when I was just out, like, you know, shooting just in the area and stuff. Photography.
00:39:06
Speaker
And I walked in and, like, all the shit in the store. the word out Yeah. I didn't want people thinking I was, you know, pew-pewing. But everything in there, they get, like, 90% of their shit that's in the store. Like, the fruits, the veg, the whole nine yards from a couple of Amish farmers that they know.
00:39:23
Speaker
So I grabbed like a bunch of shit and brought it home and I was the best melon of I've ever eaten. Best fucking, i got like watermelon and a couple yeah different kind of fucking melons and shit was good, man.
00:39:35
Speaker
Yeah, no. Something about growing up, all that horse shit. Growing up back home, most of my neighbors were all Amish and we had one Amish family. That explains your beard, dude.
00:39:48
Speaker
Pretty much. Well, they shave their stuff and it's just a soft jawline. But the one Amish family, the kids used to always come over to our property and pick berries and stuff like that. And we had our we had one of our dogs.
00:40:02
Speaker
He would constantly run to their house because, A, they gave him all kinds of treats and stuff like that. But then he also got to ride in a buggy. We had this big white German shepherd. And he his favorite thing to do was ride in a buggy. So he would take off from the property. So you had a white German shepherd?
00:40:17
Speaker
Yeah. So was that Alvarez? That's rare. Yeah, he was my dad. He had blue eyes? No, he he didn't have blue eyes. Did he look like Jedi? He was an Aryan puppy. He was an Aryan puppy. Wait a minute. Did we have default dolls? No, actually, i yeah yeah I've never seen a white Jeremy Shepard. Hmm? At the same time we had the white German Shepherd, I had ah i had a white chow chow with the blue eyes.
00:40:42
Speaker
And three crosses burning in your front yard? What the fuck? but Just on Wednesdays. I had a black chow chow. That was my first dog. But no, yeah, so like the Amish people, and I worked for the Amish for for a few years. So did Michael, didn't he?
00:40:57
Speaker
I'm just picturing Glick churning butter. Right. Churning butter. I was building shit. Nobody knows. The butter I've seen. Yeah, that was ah it was a different grip that you used there, Britt. Sorry, my man did it.
00:41:15
Speaker
I mean, she's going to make something creamy happen with me, but it'll be a different grip. I did the twist by accident. and look like you learned that in church camp. That's memory. That's muscle memory.
00:41:26
Speaker
i think that This is how we turn butter and search can. He turns the butter and then snorts it all Stiffer, slower, slower.
00:41:39
Speaker
I'm almost there. are Speed up, speed up. Wick, you need to work on your technique. Brittany's is way better. to look well yeah know Brittany's mic is a multi-purpose mic. It acts like a bunch of different things. where's that mike It does everything but what a mic should do.
00:41:57
Speaker
yeah hooked up right now. Anti-mikes. So it's wireless. no well No, it hasn't wired. It's just hooked How do I get to come to Akron and be part of the whole fucking roast thing, man I want to get in on this shit.
00:42:19
Speaker
Well, if you can't make it up there, you've can put your comments in the live stream. and i want i want to say I want to say my shit live in front of people. drag to well maybe we can are you Are you just going to walk around in the audience with a mic and shit?
00:42:35
Speaker
Because my hand will be up the whole fucking time. Pick me again. oh no we can invite if you're actually I got more shit to say. okay I'm not done. If you're just on the phone, I'll put the microphone like put the microphone up to my phone and you can say it out loud. M-Dog will be like a Adam Sandler in the wedding song. I have a microphone and you'll see the goddamn thing I have to say. You will hear me. I am M-Dog. Hear me roar. That's right.
00:43:09
Speaker
What's up, Kaylee? Kaylee. I'm talking to you. Danae. She's somehow sleeping nine somehow is asleep right now. I was talking to... Who the fuck are you talking to? yeah My son. Oh, my son.
00:43:26
Speaker
Yeah, he... we is ah Tonight's Survivor Series. So he's watching it out there. Man, I'll tell you what. These motherfuckers. So ESPN has the new ESPN Unlimited package and whatnot. I'm already a member. Like, I have my Disney Plus Premium Package with Disney, Hulu, and ESPN.
00:43:45
Speaker
they got a deal going on that for uh you can subscribe and it's like five dollars more a month than what i'm already paying cool i'll get espn unlimited all the sweet stuff that comes with it for the new wwe ples and um ah So I go in and it was like, this offer is not available for you. you This is for new subscribers only.
00:44:11
Speaker
I'm actually paying $20 a month when I'm already in active. ah I'm already a member. I already have a membership. I'm like, what the fuck is this all about?
00:44:23
Speaker
That's what sucks. That's what sucks, man. When new new subs get you know great fucking deals and somebody that's been with them for 20 fucking years gets hosed. And it's not like I can cancel my subscription because I i cancel my subscription and I re-up and they go, listen, this account already belongs to that right email address. Yeah, you can't get the deal no matter what. you oppos But i was I was scrolling through ESPN looking at this ESPN Unlimited and I was like,
00:44:53
Speaker
right, have a feeling I'm gonna be watching this more because one of the features they have on there is they'll have four games on one screen. So, like, they had the Tennessee-Vandy, LSU-Oklahoma game, and then, like, two other games.
00:45:08
Speaker
So i was like, okay. And then they do it for hockey and basketball and stuff like that. Ooh, okay. I'm down for that. Yeah, I'll give you some of that. So.
00:45:19
Speaker
Oh, hey, lazy to know that. Because you never get to watch fucking hockey games on regular TV. She brought up ah the quilting thing. Remember what Mandy said last night? Oh, fuck. What was it? What was it? Oh, God. Because somebody sent me a message after that. um and They weren't even on the stream, but it was funny as fuck.
00:45:43
Speaker
Is she crocheted crocheted condoms? Yeah, You're about as useful as a crocheted condom. That was so fucking funny. Bella an animal or a kid?
00:45:56
Speaker
That's her little dog. Oh, okay. I want to make sure before I'm like, oh, little pumper dog snooze in a jersey. She's like, that's my daughter, you prick. My bad, bro. Stimping.
00:46:11
Speaker
I'll be on the phone with her on speakerphone. I'll be like, Bella, Bella, you want a snack? You want a um Shut up fucking shot
00:46:22
Speaker
up. Shut On the rare occasion that Kayla is not here and we're talking on the phone, we'll be talking on speakerphone and her fucking cat loves me. And as soon as she hears my voice,
00:46:34
Speaker
She's like right up against the phone and I can hear her right up in Kayla's face on on the phone. So I do that. I get her all routed up, start talking to her, get her in trouble because that's what we do. We're assholes.
00:46:49
Speaker
She'll be laying in the bed and she's got a shit ton of hair, man. Jersey does. yeahla it She'll be laying in the bed. just out ah out of like next to her face, out of her fucking hair, this little fucking dog head will emerge and shit, man. She'll be all crawling her around her neck and hiding up in her hair. like the movie tres it just like its It's like a fucking magic trick, you know? Ta-da!
00:47:13
Speaker
She does. I wasn't going to say that part. I didn't know she wanted that known or not. oh you give her book She gives her a fucking, gu well, it's not the gummy you're thinking about. It's a melatonin gummy, but Bella thinks that's a fucking treat, but really she gives it to her to calm her ass down so she'll go to sleep. Shut the fuck up, dog. That's her shut the fuck up, gummy.
00:47:31
Speaker
That's less awesome. That's actually pretty funny.
00:47:37
Speaker
Give the dog a little treat and you have your own treat. All right. It's a safe melatonin. Are you you give your dog melatonin? Is that okay give your dog melatonin?
00:47:49
Speaker
oopy skinty he good can of jo as that it's a safe melatonin i wrong are you sure could youll give you a dog milk okay is that okay to give your dog melatonin hey I mean, i think that the strength is it is it like half of one. It's people's strength and you're giving it to a little dog. Is it okay for a one-year-old puppy to be strung the fuck out already?
00:48:20
Speaker
I just need one more gummy. I just need one more gummy. suck your dick. Suck your dick. Suck your dick for melatonin. suck you
Personal Stories and Humorous Exchanges
00:48:27
Speaker
dick suck your dick for a melatonin and
00:48:33
Speaker
Oh, shit. he are You can tell it's Saturday. We getting cray-cray. Brittany a new trick, man.
00:48:48
Speaker
yeah she's pretty i not shubaca bit bit bit
00:48:57
Speaker
that do it again slower
00:49:04
Speaker
don't drown in your own gargle man her eyes crossed once she did it didn't I got excited a little bit that's what happens when get excited too my eyes crossed I don't even know how to pronounce that word Jersey xylitol i don't even know what that is I can't pronounce it nor do I know what it is that's why it is not in your glictionary It is not. well Not a lot in his Glictionary. His Glictionary is only two pages. The words are really big. I started to say the letters are just big as shit. You're being generous with that one. And crayon at that. you know
00:49:46
Speaker
yeah In purple because Sarge wrote them for me. Exactly. er Because that's how I hold my crayons. yeah It's only half words though. Harge got hungry halfway through. Exactly. We got that right and we had a snack. What the fuck are these teeth marks in this crayon?
00:50:03
Speaker
We're all done. lord I wrote two vowels. Me hungry. Me hungry. why say lot Dictionary done.
00:50:16
Speaker
Lazy Jeddah would be the only one that would get that. What did you say Brittany? I missed it. Why say flat word when few words do trick? Jersey ain't lying.
00:50:27
Speaker
Kevin from The Office. Come on, man. I love it this. which just say star has been practicing spell It's spelling. It's against third graders.
00:50:41
Speaker
going to kick their ass. Yeah, and if you can't beat them in spelling, at least you know you can beat them up. That's right. They beat me up. I'm just going to fucking kick them off the stage and shit. You're going to fucking punch the words out of them. Next. And then I'm going to punch a baby. going to punch the letters out of you. Just be standing there next to with a fist like, yeah, go ahead. Spell it, motherfucker. Spell it.
00:51:01
Speaker
That was callback from last night. Fucking dare you. Door. Door. 5X port. Yeah. No, you're stupid. Get off stage. That's right. That was me spelling, by the way. Yeah. think you He's so good that he makes up Yes perfect Look at you being supportive Of your man She needs to get up here on the fucking panel She'll never come on panel no more All of a sudden she's too good I know I think she did for a second last night Right?
00:51:34
Speaker
Was she on panel last night? Must have been before I got there don't think so She wasn't once I got there Okay, maybe I'm thinking of... i mean, it doesn't matter because Brittany has one job tonight and she's failed at it miserably.
00:51:49
Speaker
Already. She'll bring Moe Dog up. She'll bring Jedi up. Bitch. Bitch. That's all I got to say about that. Bitch. Shirley.
00:52:01
Speaker
bit true sure
00:52:07
Speaker
Shut your whore mouth. Yeah. i mean i said i may have said that to her a couple times today. Shut your whore mouth. She was like, ooh, say that again.
00:52:20
Speaker
Spill it slower. If she's into it, then whatever, man. and and Wait, where's Johnny? Is that Johnny? Oh, Johnny. My bad. sorry i know Chat peeps.
00:52:34
Speaker
Chat peeps. e Are you throwing up gang signs on my show?
00:52:44
Speaker
Talking to you. Check yourself before you wreck yourself. Boob. Does that say boob? it' You know what? I'm going to make it. That's the only word I can spell. Do it. Do it. Do it.
00:52:59
Speaker
My nails are getting too long. Boob. Oh, no. That's. It's close enough. look You look like you're having a fucking tremor, man. at least i know i'm i'm I'm like, I'm fidgeting it, and I'm trying to also figure out what in the hell is Brittany doing.
00:53:18
Speaker
What was the first word you did? to Blood. Oh, you're like Crips and blood and shit. She's a gangbanger. That's why you got red on, right? she's She's either a gangbanger or she just bangs gang members. I don't know. Probably both.
00:53:32
Speaker
Allegedly. Allegedly. Slore. Slore life. Slore lives matter. One slore, two slore. Three slore, four.
00:53:48
Speaker
And you know you want some more. Lazy Jedi is the king of the slores. Jedi's king the slores? Wow.
00:54:02
Speaker
Where's my crown? your Purple crown. You got a promotion? I got promoted. Yay! I slored harder than all the other slores, okay?
00:54:16
Speaker
Yeah. Fucking extracurricular sloring. yeah I'm the best pimp bat ever. He slored so much he was slurping.
00:54:27
Speaker
I'm a slurpee slore. I'm the queen. I'm the empress. I'll never look at a slurpee the same way again. The empress and the slurpee slore.
00:54:40
Speaker
I'm the empress slore. Coming to Lifetime Movie Network. yeah That's going to be a Disney movie someday. No, Disney. Disney, bro. Come on. We go big. We go big around here.
00:54:50
Speaker
They already canceled so many things. You really think they're going to let slur happen? No. Let's be honest, it's PBS or go home. It's PBS or go home. It's ABC Family.
00:55:07
Speaker
Can you tell me how they get to get to your street? You're about to get some dick right now? going say, tell us grew up without cable. Shut up, my internet was out of cable when I was a kid. You're old, you know that. Yeah. Three channels.
00:55:26
Speaker
Three goddamn channels. and I'm old enough to remember climbing on the roof and holding a fucking antenna and dad was like, there, that's good. And then you got to stand there and shit.
00:55:37
Speaker
Yeah, he didn't let you back down until the show was over. He didn't. There were there were times when that happened. <unk> up there But you'd see all the kids in the neighborhood doing that. mean, like these pussy ass motherfuckers today that can't do shit without worrying about getting hurt.
00:55:51
Speaker
Our parents would be like, get your ass up on the roof and fix the TV reception. Moe Dogg falls off the roof. Walk it off, pussy. That's like it. Get back out. Did you have to put like a little foil on the antenna and everything? On the rabbit ears? Yeah.
00:56:06
Speaker
Oh, yeah. remember Nah, broke off once. i know for six months our TV had a fucking pair of small vice grips on it, man, and that's what you held to change the fucking channel and shit. Yeah. See, I might be young, but I had to deal with all that shit, too. Because we were poor.
00:56:21
Speaker
i didn' that's what yeah I've said that before. I didn't know we were poor until I like. grew up got out of the house and like got out into the real world. Then I was like, God damn, we were poor as a motherfucker, man. Her brothers and sisters all had to act out television shows for her family. It's it's charades night. Every night is 7 o'clock.
00:56:39
Speaker
You know was fun was TVs that were that small fucking weighed 500 pounds. Trying to move a TV from one room to another. Get the fuck out of here. You gotta be a bodybuilder. giant console TV. You have a TV... The tube, you said, like you said, Jedi, the tube's only this big, but the sumbitch is like six foot long because of all the... I'll take you back. Zenith.
00:57:03
Speaker
Yeah, Zenith. That was the name of them. That's the one most people had. I broke my hand punching one of those. i'm told yeah I told you guys before, I got one of those old school console record players from the 70s. mean, it's the only thing that I could find that would hold my big screen in my and my living room. It's so big. And it seriously takes four men four men and a boy to lift that thing and carry it. Four men and a boy. yeah Yeah, that's back when shit was made out of like solid fucking oak and shit, man. Yeah, man, this thing is stupid. hell that the The fucking catheterate tubes for the fucking televisions weighed 22 pounds apiece, man. yeah
00:57:38
Speaker
The glass on those old TVs are like that fucking thick. Oh, bro, this is as thick as my glasses when i'm wearing glasses. For as heavy as that thing is, it's got the smallest wheels on it. Shut up, Brittany. It's because they made shit to last, man.
00:57:54
Speaker
What up, Web Dude? Web Dude! Web Dude! Let's go! good Yeah, but those fuckers never broke, man. No, man. i gotta to I got to get into the back of it and look at the wiring. Something's going on. It's not playing records, but yeah.
00:58:10
Speaker
Yeah, it's probably just a wire and it's soldered. I mean, that shit never wears the fuck out or breaks. outside of that, everything sounds great. Them speakers still sound good. I mean, from the time I was five years old until I graduated and left for boot camp, we had the same fucking Xenia television in that big console, man.
00:58:27
Speaker
my like And my dad would beat on that shit, you know, when it's fuzzy or he's getting white noise and shit. He'd go hit that motherfucker like it was an ex-wife or something, man. You know, like, God. It's funny.
00:58:38
Speaker
Why is abusing things make them work better? Right. Because it used to be the case. Work for your appliances, work for your marriage, work for everything. Do it now. You go to fucking prison. Still the case. Still the case. We back to beating our kids. Will they listen better if you start beating them again? I mean. Oh, for sure.
00:58:57
Speaker
very i will i will secondly i mean I will say that you know i the first couple times my mom whooped my ass, you know all she had to do was raise a hand. and learn.
00:59:08
Speaker
you learn stopped what I was doing. You just got to beat their ass once and then they learn. Then they think that's going to happen again. They they act right. so i've never I've never hit my kids once, but I've thought about it so many times. I wouldn't say that. I'm not going to go into detail, but I wouldn't say that.
00:59:27
Speaker
There's a difference between discipline and abuse, okay? I will say that. It's a fine line, but there is a difference. I grew up in that time where, like, if you were fucking up in the neighborhood, somebody else's parents would whip your ass and then tell your parents about it, and you got your ass beat by dad for the act that you did. Then you got your ass beat a second time for embarrassing the fucking family.
00:59:45
Speaker
But at 31 years old, it's a thing too this should not be happening. Well, yeah. Well, yeah. I mean, that's criminal. Way to make it weird, Britt. Goddamn. We were just talking about abusing young kids. You had to make it weird. Well, talking about... Not somebody that can defend themselves. What if you challenge your kids... Wait, happened?
01:00:09
Speaker
Remember last night I was talking about punting a baby across the yard? Were you there at that point? Yeah, but you didn't actually do that. You didn't actually do that. It's just a funny thing to say. Did you punch a baby across the yard? I thought britney i better it I it was a joke. I don't know if we can be friends anymore. Put put the cancel thing up.
01:00:30
Speaker
Cancel, yeah. Happy Thanksgiving, stupid baby. Pow!
01:00:37
Speaker
Welcome to the family. You're about to get turducken, bitch. Boom. Turducken's not bad. Have you ever had one? Yes.
01:00:49
Speaker
oh I actually haven't. I had a to hear about him all the time. i was still Are they good? yeah so It was. It was good. Yeah, yeah they're delicious. Well, duck is really good in general.
01:01:01
Speaker
yeah They're even better when you fucking cook them. Have you ever had one? I just go in feathers and all fucking...
01:01:15
Speaker
right serge Come up all bloody and shit like, this shit's good, mom. ah Can you let me turn the fucking oven on first, you goddamn heathen? I'm already done eating. Do what you want. Put Glick back out of the leash. Who let him in the house?
01:01:30
Speaker
Goddamn Sasquatch is running around. He's not allowed to play with fucking Mongo anymore.
01:01:35
Speaker
yeah There we go. ah We got MoDog deep throat. I would recreate that tonight, but I know Scott is probably lurking fucking somewhere. He was lurking last night. and god you Never let your guard down. Scott is always somewhere. I behave myself now. lurkkin Sunday, I'll switch channels here.
01:01:57
Speaker
Sunday, we're doing the football show. My phone lights up and I look down I'm like, oh, Lord, what did Scott do now? And Scott was like, hey, what is that team that you're wearing?
01:02:09
Speaker
No idea Scott would be scott i would be in there on a ah on a Sunday. He didn't actually, you know, Scott loves me, so he don't ever do me dirty. Yeah, he loves all the balls, though, so he's going to watch your football. That's what I'm here for.
01:02:22
Speaker
He did that, which is crazy. I think that's cool. That was actually really awesome. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. Just on Sunday as we were doing this show. i like Wait, wait, wait. goat go Go back to the cartoon one
01:02:38
Speaker
one. Look at the brown thumb, the brown hand, the brown finger. Defend, F-N-E. He spelled it the way Glick pronounces it. He put an Italian slur on Yeah.
01:02:54
Speaker
That was pretty cool. It turned out good. Yeah, that was actually pretty cool. It makes me look really old, though. I think that's exactly how you look, though. you didn't brown bro Wearing Cleveland brown shit will do that to you, man. His glasses cover up. Kentucky Bengals, man.
01:03:11
Speaker
Kentucky Bengals.
01:03:19
Speaker
perfect timing. The shadow is always lurking. What's up, Mandy? We got Mandy in the building. in the building.
01:03:32
Speaker
You feeling better? That was so much fun. Hold on a second. At Mandy. here was virginia on What the fuck? Nonsense clan?
01:03:44
Speaker
Wait, what? Where are you reading this? yeah Mandy L. Nonsense clan. yeah what is going on Oh, yeah. I was wondering. I didn't know
Playful Banter and Thanksgiving Humor
01:03:52
Speaker
if you or somebody said that. I know. I can't do any of that. Is this really Mandy? I don't know.
01:04:02
Speaker
It is. It is her. She was one last night. i won't I won't believe her until she jumps up on panel.
01:04:11
Speaker
I'm going to grab a beer. I'll be right back.
01:04:15
Speaker
I'll be a white here. Right here. You will be white here too.
01:04:26
Speaker
that's Mandy not many L. Nonsense Clint. I believe that's really her. it is her. She came out on a lazy shaman show last night. Yeah, look at you, girl.
01:04:37
Speaker
That's my old our sister.
01:04:44
Speaker
Wow. he was reaching for She's the one that discovered you in them woods all those years ago. She drug me out of the woods. It's Oh, hell yeah, girl. I just changed my name because the Amanda Long kept throwing people, so I just changed it.
01:05:03
Speaker
you just You just snuck your way into the network, huh? I sure did. I ain't mad about it I don't know I've been called a racist a lot I don't know how I feel about the nonsensical Clay and I don't know Just go put your white hood on and quit frontin' I didn't spend with a C, first of all. Y'all, he's got to put his crocheted hoodie on. He already said the joke. I'm sorry. I didn't know if you were going to come in not. I wish you guys had Twitter because I would send you what somebody else sent me after that conversation. They sent me crocheted condoms. They sent me a picture of crocheted condoms. I laughed so fucking hard.
01:05:48
Speaker
I went actually on fish date Hold on. Actually, no. I'm going to wait until the stand-up thing. By the way, Glick, as much shit as you have given me about LSU, what the fuck happened to Michigan today?
01:06:03
Speaker
Exactly what should have happened last year.
01:06:13
Speaker
You knew I was going to do shit. I love you. I got to share it. miss how How's LSU doing tonight? They lost by four points. yeah that Crocheted condoms. Wow. So scary that that's a thing.
01:06:35
Speaker
and i don't think it is. I think they made it just based off the conversation, Mandy. like They made like a fucking AI generated thing or something. Can I say something about crochet condoms?
01:06:46
Speaker
Please. you the first day Are you pregnant, Whitney? Motherfucking no. Let me finish my goddamn sentence. This guy that I went on a first date with, I was obviously a beard to cover up for his thing. He said that he would go out on Christmas and he had this like little crochet Santa thing that he would put on this thing. And I was like, nope, I'm out.
01:07:15
Speaker
Nope. I'm serious. And he's like, I'll put it on for you. I'm like, ah I'm good. yeah but you know those crocheted condoms aren't accurate. Those are too damn big.
01:07:29
Speaker
I did never found out. i He's like, hey, Grandma. This is my date tonight. ah Yeah. That much flamboyancy. Yeah.
01:07:45
Speaker
but We were on the boardwalk and like the people were like, hey, do you want to win your girlfriend a prize? And they were talking to me about him. I was oh, shit. it Okay.
01:07:57
Speaker
Wow. Oh, my God. That should have been signed. Poor Brittany. yeah Yeah. Maybe, just maybe, just a suggestion. you don't have to listen to me, but maybe maybe you should put dating on a little hiatus for a little bit. and Oh no, this was when I was like 19, 20 years old. So this was years back.
01:08:22
Speaker
You were using dating apps when you were 19, 20? Cheers, fuckers. Yeah. Cheers.
01:08:30
Speaker
Water. oh Mommy, mommy juice. but Yeah, if you believe hers is water, Mandy. No, mine really really is.
01:08:44
Speaker
Oh, you got that black tip on there tonight? No, the blue one ah one. Dude was colorblind because that was purple last night. It was.
01:08:57
Speaker
Yeah.
01:09:00
Speaker
Anyways. Interesting.
01:09:09
Speaker
s What the fuck? Does your tongue get caught on your lip ring? want I still want to get a fidget. The ticks are not on me tonight. I haven't done anything.
01:09:24
Speaker
I see them. Oh, that would be good. Do they make fidget things for your lip? That would be cool have. don't know, but I want to bet. You could really practice your tongue game. I thought I could make one.
01:09:40
Speaker
girl. Oh my god. I'll hook you up. like, bruh. You'll be on the others show the entire time. just quote I already fucked with it enough. That probably wouldn't be. You were a little gear set hanging down, so do a little gearset hanging down so Here comes her microphone again. you have to put You have to put lights on it so it lights up when she spins it. I want one.
01:10:15
Speaker
clip i want one Jedi, please go put a gray baseball hat on. Do you have one? sam I just want see how much you blend into the screen. You son of a bitch. I'm going to go find that.
01:10:27
Speaker
There you go. I know you got one. If not, just take the hat off and he'll blend. Peer pressure such an awesome thing. Jedi just want to do this of him.
01:10:38
Speaker
right That's what it's going to look like, Britt. And he'll be fine. This is be awesome. yeah mean It's just to be a floating head. Like a 1980s music video and shit. Yeah, maxs Max Hedrum. He's just going to be Max Hedrum. He's going to be Lazy Hedrum.
01:10:58
Speaker
but He's too young to understand that reference. Well, that's better than Max Jedi. Max Jedi. Well, well. Hedrum, no neck room. Brittany, how old are you? Early You don't have say. 32. Okay.
01:11:13
Speaker
thirty two Are you really 32? I thought you were 31. I was 32. 32. October 6th, 1993. You just I was just and ninety three i was just discovering self-lo ninety three i was graduating high school 93, I just got out of the core. There you go. There he is.
01:11:43
Speaker
for yeah jed I can't see it. Oh, there's your head. know and There you go. This is not the Jedi you're looking for. That looks but that looks better with your surroundings, man.
01:11:57
Speaker
It matches. Holy shit. You're looking dap. Just same dude. What's up, homie? Or dude? I haven't worn this hat in a minute.
01:12:10
Speaker
that sounds cut Well, you're welcome. that You need to put it in your rotation. You need to wear it whenever you wear that or use that background. It matches your skin quite nicely. Yes, Dad. I mean, Modoc. Yep, that's right.
01:12:23
Speaker
Man, if I had a dollar every time I got called Dad or Daddy today, fuck. They have two bucks. And you still wouldn't pay child support.
01:12:34
Speaker
That's right.
01:12:40
Speaker
Child support server. has Hashtag MoDog less money. Right? Exactly. Hashtag fucked him kids, man. MoDaddy MoProblems.
01:12:52
Speaker
That's what I said when I said Plan Anyways. ah i am holy it does It does look better though, Jada. It does. Thank you for including my parents. Just here, man. When you the 72 hours, that's when the co-hanger comes in.
01:13:06
Speaker
Exactly, right? Mommy dearest and shit.
01:13:14
Speaker
exactly right mommy dearest and shit No more wire hangers! Or my friend's She's like my best friend. She said she'll push me down the stairs for free. sos That's a loving mom.
01:13:28
Speaker
Holy fuck. Mom, I think I'm pregnant. poosh
01:13:37
Speaker
yeah She said to catch me off guard. so it's so Fixed it. Fixed it. yeah fixed it Hey, all of a sudden, your Friday night's free again, Brittany. I'm not even kidding. That's literally a thing that she You're allowed to have margaritas again. She's not even a drinker. She just... Oh, yeah, Jersey?
01:14:00
Speaker
my daddy Oh, Oh, my dog. Daddy. That's what say dan should I Jedi called me dad. what you go tongue skin I almost did. i didn't I didn't add the last D. What?
01:14:14
Speaker
wo Oh my god. I thought the last date was for Mo-Dog to give to you, Jedi. Oh, shit. That's Scotto. See, I got Jedi's back, but Scotto comes on Jedi's back.
01:14:28
Speaker
So there is a difference. jesus christ stephenmon cemetery I forget why I show up here on Saturdays. forget. Jersey, I would just like you to know from a dead sleep, as I start to mess with you, Kayla wakes up and you better be nice my girl, Jersey.
01:14:45
Speaker
And then she'll be nice you. Yeah, fuck Modog, fuck Jedi. he's got it But you better be nice to fucking Jersey. was like, what the?
01:15:01
Speaker
like what you Where are my sunglasses at? Serge MoDog. You should hold the microphone like that during your stand-up, Bernie. That would be hilarious. Just walk up there just fucking dangling it. were you Were you there when I told her she needs she needs to have it come down to the ceiling and just like drop down to her? Have it lowered down to her?
01:15:20
Speaker
mean It meets her at the mic stand right as she gets at the mic stand. She just grabs it and goes. kid i mean ill I'll coordinate your fucking shows for you if you want. I'll be your manager. Just saying.
01:15:33
Speaker
We might have somebody recording it, okay? We see it, Glick. I see that. What happened? It's like the dick was hanging there and he was just like... I hope Scott ah got a screenshot of her face right there. He's just a fish in a koi pond. Look at him. like
01:15:56
Speaker
I hope he puts a... Never mind. Don't give him ideas. He doesn't need help. she almost That's what she almost said. You know what I wanted to say. He does not he does not need help.
01:16:11
Speaker
You know he's already in the background working around. You don't need to. Who you need to be sending a message to, Brittany, is Michael Copenhaven. Yeah, get him up here.
01:16:21
Speaker
Where's his goofy ass at? last night i Yeah, because he ain't he ain't having two date nights in a row being married, so fuck that. Can't use that excuse. Yeah, right? Bro, that's facts. Nah, bitch, that was Friday night. Nice try.
Unique Stories and Light-hearted Jokes
01:16:36
Speaker
They were newlyweds. yeah you to see the picture um It's not even than that. He's dealing with his mom. his his ah his his or white that's right His poor wife was sharing ramen noodles with some homeless guy last night. It looked like ramen noodles, right? what I love that picture.
01:16:54
Speaker
What was that? It does look like ramen noodles. I'll get it. I'll see if I can pull it up. d d I said, why was this lady sharing ramen noodles with a homeless guy? I saw that. Was was Michael the homeless guy?
01:17:10
Speaker
Yeah, Michael's the homeless guy. I'll get it up here. Well, like Kayla hasn't heard that before. I'll get it up here.
01:17:23
Speaker
i'll get it up here
01:17:26
Speaker
shut up the great Just hang on, baby. i Just hang on. Just come in. I worked hard today. I'm tired. Hang on. is there eventually Fuck it. Give me the pill. Fuck it.
01:17:38
Speaker
Says the guy that's pushing 100. Or Britt said last week, 80 years ago when I was in epi ye
01:17:48
Speaker
ah or as brit said last week you know eighty years ago when i was in my twenty s Did I say that? Did I say that? I was waking long enough to yeah talk shit and she said you're just trying to make yourself feel better. No, don't.
01:18:08
Speaker
Do what? i didn't hear what she said. Kayla's waking up long enough just to talk shit. She said, you're just trying to make yourself feel better, Mo Dog. All right, listen up, Kaylee. You can just go back to sleep. yeah oh Grandpa's got something to say. I just did a mic drop for Kayla. I'm just kidding, Mo Dog. You look better than me, you son of i'm a bitch. I'm the coolest old fucker you guys know, man.
01:18:31
Speaker
And he's got Jersey, some hot piece of ass. So come on, give him some props. You got it like that. You got it like that. Somehow. oh I'm just joking, Kayla. I love you.
01:18:45
Speaker
I won't call you Kaylee no more. Yeah, stop doing it. You better stop calling her some other bitch's name and then she'll be next to you. Merry early Christmas, Kayla.
01:19:00
Speaker
Grandpa loves you. We're going start calling her Sasquatch's Squall. How's that? through me you know Grandpa loves you. It has a whole other meaning in Mandy and Britt's household.
01:19:16
Speaker
Oh, shit. Wait, wait, wait. Oh, shit. ohha wait wait i wait. Repeat that. ye Grandpa loves you. has a whole other meaning in yours and Mandy's household.
01:19:28
Speaker
Hey, could you speak directly into the dildo, please? but you know Again, something else Grandpa says.
01:19:39
Speaker
Uncle Grandpa. Uncle Grandpa Daddy. Please speak into the large black phallic object. That just like hurts my brain. on valy God damn it, Brittany. We meant the microphone, not the fucking neighbor. What the fuck?
01:19:53
Speaker
Wait. You got a black eye from your black dildo. You just shoved it in the screen real fast. You got to warn somebody.
01:20:06
Speaker
Oh, damn it. You did it again. now i got two black guys. was ribbed for your pleasure.
01:20:15
Speaker
That was a bad joke. Oh, is that why none of us laughed? I'm sorry. think wo the way you were i thought I just thought it was quiet time.
01:20:26
Speaker
It was a unique style. liked it. You don't have to be nice to me. I i know a bad joke, but I got one.
01:20:38
Speaker
Good That is actually really peaceful.
01:20:44
Speaker
Wait, Glick's burp? No, it's not. I can listen to that all night. If he was in Japan, they'd be like, Godzilla.
01:20:54
Speaker
Glick burps, and i imagine I imagine like they do on the fucking... What the fuck? What show was it? but bart The Simpsons? When they burp and their lips go... ble yeah Oh, yeah.
01:21:06
Speaker
See, that's what his... It's kind of weird. That's my new my new sleep app. Sounds of quicksburg. I hope you fall asleep.
01:21:17
Speaker
What did you say, Mandy? Oh, I was talking to the hubby. He's a hot piece of ass, though. Jersey says, i love you more than Grandpa Kayla. Wait, who's Grandpa Kayla?
01:21:31
Speaker
I was thinking the same thing. That's like a boy named Sue. You're going to put a comma, Kayla.
01:21:42
Speaker
Grammar. Jersey, should i tell him should I tell him the joke you got told last night? I want to know the joke she got told last night. You got to ask permission to tell a joke, bro? Come on.
01:21:56
Speaker
She was FaceTiming with my family. didn't you
01:22:01
Speaker
You stole that joke from me, MoDog.
01:22:05
Speaker
No, but I told Michael's joke again last night. I've been telling that, like, frequently. She said, um... Wait, which... I want to hear all the jokes. I want to all the jokes. yeah All the goddamn jokes.
01:22:17
Speaker
right, so, and I can't... I'm not gonna be able to do it as good as my... my ah What is he? I guess my nephew-in-law? My ni my niece is my niece's husband. Whatever. Basically.
01:22:29
Speaker
So there's there's these two gay guys, and they having they're having a party at their house, right? And time rolls around. Nobody shows up. Nobody shows up. And to, like, pass time away, the one partner says to the other one, he goes, oh, he goes, I know a game. I know a game. He says, we can play hide the fruits and vegetables.
01:22:45
Speaker
He's like, going to put a blindfold on you, and I'm go the kitchen. I'm going to get a vegetable out, and I'm to shove it up your ass. You've got to guess which vegetable it is. So – He goes in, he comes back, and he goes, okay, you ready?
01:22:58
Speaker
Puts a blindfold on him, you know. He shoves it up his ass, and the guy goes, ah! ah He goes, it's long and pimply. He was like, it's a cucumber, it's a cucumber. And he was like, yeah, good job, good job.
01:23:10
Speaker
So he goes, all right, hang on, let's get the next one. So he goes back in the kitchen, comes back with another piece of fruit. shoves it up his ass and the guy goes oh he goes it's it's smaller on one end and fatter at the base he goes it's a squash it's a squash and he goes okay man he goes you're just you're just too good at this you're just too good at this he goes hang on i gotta make it i gotta make it more difficult hang on so he goes in the other room and he comes he goes into the bathroom And he comes back and he shoves this thing up his ass. And the guy was like, it's ah it's a shit, that thing you use in the in a toilet. on Oh, you played this fucking game too, huh?
01:23:50
Speaker
I knew it. I got to have it. It's But when when my nephew-in-law, Rob, says that he goes he goes into this whole gay persona romaine Romaine dude that we call him and he like he talks like a gay guy really good.
01:24:06
Speaker
you wrote moag You need to commit to the bit. i know Commit to the bit. You almost had it but it just... if i would have done the If I would have done the gay voice it would have worked better.
01:24:17
Speaker
Oh and now I just see her thing that said play the recording because my her husband recorded him telling her the joke. Wait. Jersey's husband recorded the joke? wait My niece's husband. My niece's husband was recording all shit.
01:24:30
Speaker
Oh, God. I had to. That was perfect timing. Glope, glope, glope. I had to. I'm have to remember that game for when MoDog comes up.
01:24:45
Speaker
but hey Let's play Guess the Fruit, MoDog. I probably ah probably will have forgot it, too. I'll be like, okay. so We're going to play Guess the Fruit. Just blindfold you. Open your mouth. It's fine. It's fine.
01:24:58
Speaker
If it feels like a penis, it's not. I'm never eating fruits or vegetables again after that story.
01:25:07
Speaker
It's not eating them that you have to stop doing, Jedi. Damn it, Mandy. God ah damn it. um That was fantastic.
01:25:25
Speaker
I sent all these pictures to the background so I could play with the background. Okay.
01:25:30
Speaker
Yeah, you can play with yourself in the background. Hey, you mind your vision. What's going on, Jack? I do love this. What?
01:25:42
Speaker
Oh, it is Jack Mioff. I wasn't looking at the screen. That's a great picture. Shout out to Scott O, man.
01:25:52
Speaker
You did a great job. What's going on, Jack? Behave yourself. What up, Jack?
01:26:00
Speaker
Scotto did a great job with the yeah with the old pictures.
01:26:05
Speaker
Scotto kills it. is worth it like ain't guess so He scares me though. He scares me. Any wrong move he's got to capture like that.
01:26:16
Speaker
Exactly. That's the thing. You never know. He just snapped and he changed the background. That was my magic. You didn't know was a wizard? ah Yo, is it Harry? What's up?
01:26:34
Speaker
But Glick has Hogwarts on his dick. no No, I got a medicine. Guys, I'll be back in just a few minutes. Manly, you better fucking be.
01:26:45
Speaker
Don't you fucking threaten me. And she like a rage quit too, man. Yeah. well She said, I'll be back in a few minutes. I believe her. She's loyal.
01:26:57
Speaker
She's real. She made her bends to my whale part of the network. She did. She changed her name. I'm not familiar with Untrackable.
01:27:10
Speaker
We haven't seen him in a bit. Yeah, where's Untrackable? Where you been, Untrackable? We haven't been able to track you. Because... He's out there squatch hunting. You'll never find me, Untrackable. I'm the world champion hide-and-go-seek.
01:27:26
Speaker
and it will I've lost my train of thought never mind. did I had a Britney No, you didn't he said you had a Britney and the train was like, oh, he's palestine, Ohio. See you later
01:27:46
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, it was it was it was a pretty big
01:27:53
Speaker
See you guys later. Bye. Bye. been a while since I've done this, so let me just get it out. not Oh, Glick. God damn it.
01:28:03
Speaker
It's like a car accident. like You get worse and worse each time. Modog, have you been practicing? You're not improving. You're going backwards. Come on, Modog. Look. Brittany's got a flow. Modog's got something going on there. He's got it. And then Glick's like, brrr.
01:28:23
Speaker
I'll put my hands together like this. When I put my hands like this, we go. When I dip, you dip, we dip. You're right. I swear to God.
01:28:34
Speaker
It's like two Down Syndrome birds fighting over Brad. oh
01:28:42
Speaker
We got the bro bro in the house. Let's go. He's wearing his gay pride outfit. Hell yeah, Michael. he looks beul look he's like the genie that's sick of fucking granting wishes like quit rubbing my fucking lamp click let me know if you get that text me it's it it's that video it might take a minute because it's kind of long that's what she said what's up michael how much how you doing bro i'm out of the weather i'm getting a head cold not having a good time yeah that's what you get for being a bitch
01:29:18
Speaker
Oh, shit. Congratulations to you.
01:29:26
Speaker
Well, if you guys actually listened to my sports show, you would know all season I've been saying that it was going to be like 40 to 50 to nothing. Oh, I didn't even know you had sports show. Tell me all about it.
01:29:41
Speaker
So, with me sending that to you, Glick, are you able to put that up on screen here? I might be able to give me a minute or few.
01:29:52
Speaker
sounds good
01:29:55
Speaker
Michael, what's going on, buddy? Are you getting pulled over in your own house? What'd you do there, Michael? don't know how the fuck to work it.
01:30:07
Speaker
Is that a noose? Did you get the one? Glick's the officer pulling you over. you shit michael's Michael looks like he has a ring light that has epilepsy, man.
01:30:21
Speaker
He gave me epilepsy. That shit was like, blup, blup, blup, blup. We'll pull over that ass too fat. Oh, shit.
01:30:33
Speaker
Dammit, Blake. What is happening? No, Jersey. I sent him the whole video. man oh I don't know how this works. There we go. i got no Michael, how was your Thanksgiving? I am working on it as we speak right now. Speak directly into the dildo.
01:30:49
Speaker
Britt working the mic. just She's doing the mic work. but that's How was your Thanksgiving, sir? A lot of sleep.
01:31:02
Speaker
Well, you got a cold, man? Yeah, just started getting a cold today. Happened during the game. i was starting to watch the game. was saying was having an allergic reaction to something the new house, but no, I'm getting sick badly.
01:31:13
Speaker
That sucks. Yeah, my first one this year. then I made it the whole year without getting sick once. I came back from my fucking brother's funeral and from everybody standing there, like, because we stood in line from, like, four to seven, like, greeting people and shit, you know?
Unexpected Incidents and Unusual Topics
01:31:25
Speaker
Everybody, you know, shaking our hands, giving us kisses, whatever. I came back like day and a half after I got home. I was like sick as a dog for like a week and a half, man. i still I still got a bit of the chest congestion going on.
01:31:37
Speaker
All the kids going back to school and like sharing it. The little fucking gremlins bringing home their diseases. I keep getting sick. I have a little bit, but it's it's I'm getting over it.
01:31:49
Speaker
Thank gosh.
01:31:52
Speaker
Michael, take some medicines. Yes, my team's going to help. Me and Jerry are starting to be like an old married couple. We get sick at the same same time, got the same shit going on. You've been like a married couple, let's be real.
01:32:08
Speaker
You guys have been married 40 years now. Yeah, for real. 38, fucker. ah Sorry, I round up. 38, 80 years ago when I was 20.
01:32:19
Speaker
Moe Dog, I know you don't hear this very often. He doesn't hear many things very often because he's older. nice this This file, this this thing you sent me is cute.
01:32:32
Speaker
Yeah, I know. and That's why i said it might take a minute to get to you. It's going to take a hot ass fucking minute. yeah if you if you can't If you can't post it, that's fine. How many stamps did it take to get there? 72. You know stamps are like 78 fucking cents a piece now?
01:32:50
Speaker
they're so fucking I didn't even know they were real stuff. Yeah. yeah I like writing a good letter. I have a roll of forever stamps that I bought like 15 years ago.
01:33:04
Speaker
That's how often I use them. yeah i I don't think I've used a stamp probably 20 fucking years. but My niece was talking about it last night. She had a chair to buy stamps put something on shit some shit she had in the mail. and it was like She goes, I about blew my fucking mind. 78 cents a stamp now.
01:33:20
Speaker
today I think the last time I bought a stamp, they were... i'm not going to say, because Brittany will just make another old joke about me.
01:33:30
Speaker
Back with cigarettes for 12 cents a pack.
01:33:35
Speaker
No, I bought a pack of cigarettes for 75 cents in Ecuador, but the thing is, they had picture of... Those weren't cigarettes. They were a bar barrel, but they had a picture of like a rotten... She saw it into another dimension, so...
01:33:48
Speaker
have yeah have you ever smoked monkey shit cigarettes their cigarettes made out of monkey what well i got pissed on by a monkey all why we jones but did you snort the pee the the shit you learn when you're in the philippines man once they try to scrape the crust do a lot. They make coffee with bat guava too, man. Bat guava. Bat droppings.
01:34:13
Speaker
Bat droppings. I remember watching a video about that forever ago. and It's like super expensive. like It's a delicacy. yeah good See, we make we make fun of that shit, but think about it. What's something that we, well, most most Americans drink, well, most people in the world, but like milk.
01:34:28
Speaker
Who was the first person that thought, let me go up and suck on that cow's teats. I wouldn't want to fucking drink what comes out of it. Brittany, show us how to milk the cow. did that that would be That would be the grip you were using earlier.
01:34:42
Speaker
Well, that's how you get the best milk farm I grew up on with a milking cow farm. That's not a cow. You know what, though? You got to roll it. I know that much. You got to roll it. used to milk cows. used them hands. Start at the top of the tent. Yeah.
01:35:00
Speaker
Yeah. You got to roll it. Massage it down, baby. Again, i think I think, Brittany, I think you were thinking about a dick. I'm just saying. Like I said, Penny did not grow up on a farm that we all think about. right Right.
01:35:13
Speaker
That was a very... Was this a family farm? No. Did you guys... Technically, but... you guys don't stop making these fucking incest jokes, I'm gonna kick the shit out of all your fucking faces. it Good luck, Regan, but... Dumpster for you and you and you!
01:35:35
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. i'm like lovester I get it now. Okay. You know how to milk a cow? It's a basic life skill. Well, we had the machines and everything, but they ended up breaking.
01:35:48
Speaker
And then we started... renting out the property other farmers. Yeah, the boys were using them the milking things.
01:35:59
Speaker
Maybe, I don't know. he's like I don't know, it was weird. The cows that milked had horns on them and it was usually like creamy, i don't know. right no you got some eggnog out of them udders. only had one udder. They only had one udder, yeah. One long one. was weird. That's the nutter udder.
01:36:21
Speaker
gotter once he went boy howdy that right that little sample jar that daddy gave us wasn't enough man this is so fun flashbacks sorry Britt see Britt this is what I told you I don't i don't have to have a turn to to roast anybody because we spend Saturday nights just roasting the hell out of each other yeah I got bullied into putting on my old gray hat.
01:36:52
Speaker
No, it was peer pressure, not bullying. Yeah, sorry sorry. Sorry. Yeah, sorry. This is bullying and body shaming on Saturday. Brittany, don't snort, sorry. My hat's going to come off. I mean, fuck, Brittany's already called me old like 14 times already, man. twenty twice Ageism, man. Ageism. He forgets because he's old.
01:37:16
Speaker
yeah Exactly. 15. fifteen but Fuck. dare you people? I'm keeping your ball and get the fuck out of my yard. Burn in hell. I swear to God I'm going there. I can rock a mustache like fucking Jedi though. i in anyway I wish I had my sunglasses. Welcome good back.
01:37:38
Speaker
Yes ma'am. I'll be right back. Welcome back Mandy.
01:37:44
Speaker
welcome back mandy Welcome back. Wait, Mandy's back? To the show where we're talking about cow sacks. Hey, Michael. It had to be talked about. at Mandy's new name. I freaking love it. That's as many as many times as I've been accused of being a racist. and now Now I have a clan.
01:38:10
Speaker
You're going to get a crocheted hood in the mail. At least with a C.
01:38:24
Speaker
Who made the crochet condom remark? Was that Mandy? Mandy did last night on our show. That's awesome. It was the funniest thing. yeah I'm going to use that. I'm going add that to my nonsensical fucking list. i got So far, I got Michael's joke and now that one.
01:38:39
Speaker
What was Michael's joke? You know what the best part about fucking twenty five year olds is Oh, my God. That's not my joke. That's not my joke. I heard it from someone else. That's a street joke. He's backing out. He's backing out. It's definitely his joke. No, it is.
01:38:53
Speaker
It is now known as Michael's joke in my world. Okay. What's the joke? We got to hear the rest of this one. Never mind. Never mind. Never mind. I'm not going down that road. Never mind. I thought about it. Never mind.
01:39:05
Speaker
like, what? What the fuck? yeah so jet i is like what what the fuck i don't get it. I don't. Tell me. Tell me what's going on. I'll tell you in the back chat. You're a smart individual, buddy. You can figure it out.
01:39:21
Speaker
You forgot older, Mandy. Older. Hello, Mandy.
01:39:30
Speaker
Well, go finish it. Oh, man.
01:39:38
Speaker
There you go. It's in the back chat.
01:39:44
Speaker
That is fucking terrible. It is. Again, not my joke. Oh, yes it is. Yes it is. don't know shit, man. i heard it Tell it to the judge, bro. Tell it to the judge. right right I heard that it was your joke.
01:40:05
Speaker
yeah That's where I heard it from, so it's Michael's joke. but Hashtag Daycare Diva. Just because of
01:40:21
Speaker
you.
01:40:25
Speaker
well so say going because ah crook like telling all joke so me and modog mo dog i got a joke just for you wait well Well, first of all, hang on hang on he's not You haven't been added. They've just been picking on me. What's this shit? ah Oh, no. He picked on me about being old all the fucking time. Oh, okay. but Anyway, these three older gentlemen ah go to the doctor because they're having issues with their memory.
01:40:57
Speaker
and The doctor said, well, said i need to see how bad it is. so He asked the first gentleman, what's three times three? The gentleman thinks he says 247. The doctor goes hmm. So goes to the second gentleman with three times three.
01:41:16
Speaker
and he says Tuesday. He's like hmm. to the third gentleman with three times three. Nine. Yes. Exactly. How did you get that? And the old guy says it's easy. I just subtracted Tuesday from 247. Ha ha.
01:41:36
Speaker
That was good. That was good.
01:41:41
Speaker
That was good. that was good Thank you. yeah I promoted you guys. oh look at me like that I don't get it. Oh, Jesus Christ, Brittany. That's because you're like 12, Brittany. You're joking. You're joking, right, Brittany?
01:42:00
Speaker
She's not joking. doesn't get it. She's for real. Aw, you're so pretty.
01:42:07
Speaker
Don't you wish you could just pat her on the head? That's what we used to tell my best friend's wife because she was dumb as a fucking rock. You're such a good girl. so we'd take We'd say, oh, Linda, you're so pretty.
01:42:18
Speaker
and she knew She never got it. She never picked up on it. I'm going to go real stunning on her. Bless your heart. Bless your heart. I also was distracted by other things, so wasn't paying full attention.
01:42:31
Speaker
I'm not on my A-B-A-B-U medicine. Do you want you want her to tell her to you tell it again? No. It's quick enough. I'll go back. You want Moe Dogg to get the crayons out and draw your picture? Yeah. Color for you.
01:42:50
Speaker
Because again, this is how I hold my crayons. He's hungry. He's going to get hungry. Actually, i ate them all, man. That's why I'm so full. didn't start unlike Nothing like a fucking cheesesteak with melted purple crayon on it. It's fucking delicious. I didn't start eating crowns until mod Dog introduced me to this lovely delicious.
01:43:08
Speaker
And he made me eat all the other shitty ones first. He's like, you gotta eat the orange one. That's right. You gotta work up it. gotta your vegetables before you get to the main course. Can't have your pudding before you eat your meat.
01:43:19
Speaker
We were not eating vegetables. that i My dog, I don't think anybody besides you and I got that one. Probably. those opinion and many Maybe we are the fucking old ones.
Cultural Commentary and Entertainment
01:43:32
Speaker
if so i'm trying to erae and have no from my brain on don't eat your meat Yeah, Glick knows.
01:43:42
Speaker
It's from Pink Floyd, baby. Oh, okay. Oh, now. Of course. Sure, after we told you the answer, you're like, of course. Nice save. Nice save. What the fuck are you talking about? I'm just messing with you. Fuck you. Oh, my God. You wear what? Pink Floyd G-strings? Is that what you were going to say?
01:44:04
Speaker
You'll never know. All right. Michael, send me the pictures. but so That's what she wears when she puts us in the can in her sister's bedroom. Michael, you okay over there, dude?
01:44:19
Speaker
I got hand cold. youre better spirits You guys won today. should be in better spirits. Yeah. I was over time this after it was over. You're going to the Big Ten Championships to to learn to lose to Hoosier Daddies.
01:44:33
Speaker
Hoosier is a good thing, man. It is tough. We can still play in any other Hoosier football ballll history tomorrow or next Saturday. Indiana sucks. Flo Monroe leading college football in everything.
01:44:47
Speaker
I do not think Indiana sucks. Any given Sunday, brother. Any given Sunday. Indiana's tough. Oh, I thought you said they suck. Wait a minute. yeah Indiana's in the area isn'st a fold Indiana's been a punching bag in the Big Ten for years. Now all a sudden, they're like, top to your team.
01:45:06
Speaker
didn't know they had a football team. It was like it was like fucking Detroit last year. No.
01:45:15
Speaker
Sorry for being a meathead, Brittany.
01:45:21
Speaker
Oh, shit. And that's Glick. He's a meathead. He sounds like this. Football. Beer. Wait, who?
01:45:35
Speaker
That was my impression of you making fun of me. Oh, yeah, yeah. Making an impression of me making an impression of It's impression of an an impression of an impression.
01:45:48
Speaker
I'm just a dude playing a dude. Being another dude. Every time she does that, you need to put the thing up that says, now I can finally masturbate to this.
01:46:01
Speaker
That's what's up
01:46:06
Speaker
up. That poor microphone is going have herpes by new Year's Eve. Maybe. Yeah, if she comes on strange and it's got green splotches and shit on it. We know.
01:46:19
Speaker
She's checking. That microphone's going to do its own comedy. basic they put to put a Put a white cover over it, man. It'll look just like Jedi. yeah And then a little white or gray cap. How dare you.
01:46:34
Speaker
Yeah, a little gray cap on it. That would be cute. A little wy hoodie so little white hoodie. little I'm not part of the Klan, okay? so see Well, the only black thing in your picture, you're sitting on it. so I look Klan adjacent, but I'm not part of the Klan.
01:46:56
Speaker
like it He's black from the wallet down, Bodone. From the wallet down. Whoa. How do you know?
01:47:08
Speaker
gro bradney He subscribes to the Glick and Lazy Onlyfans. That's how he knows. Oh, my Lanta. I thought it was defaulty fans. No. you drinking tonight, Jedi? You ruining some bourbon with some Coke?
01:47:29
Speaker
You know what? I might switch that after this. I have i have vodka right now. But I might switch to some burbs. Tito's or Smirnoff?
01:47:38
Speaker
umm um I'm a poor bitch. I just drink Smirnoff. I'm a poor bitch. I was born a poor black child. It's my special purpose.
01:47:49
Speaker
That was a great fucking movie. That's such a good movie. i was like 13 when it came out. I went to see with my older sister and her fucking husband. It was fucking hilarious, man. It's absolutely so funny.
01:48:01
Speaker
You wonder why call you. Never mind. Your poor sister is going out on a date night with her boyfriend. You just fidget your spinner, okay, Brittany? She's trying to enjoy popcorn and you're like, don't want to do this first.
01:48:14
Speaker
This movie sucks. It was fucking hilarious. like Nobody's watching the movie except you, loser. The new phone books are in! The new phone books are in! Get away from the phone books!
01:48:31
Speaker
That was actually an exciting time, getting new phone books middle of line. Oh my god. shut your face. I didn't have a lot of toys growing up. What do you mean that's a lot? You grew up in a barn, guys. You grew up four animals. I love numbers. was exciting time we got to do phone books in. We finally had something step up on to get to the urinal.
01:48:55
Speaker
Maybe if you're sitting, and maybe if you're higher when you squat, you can hit the can better. No, we just had a hole in the floor. Yeah. it was the lead And they covered it up by scratching it like a cat does and shit, man.
01:49:07
Speaker
With the hay. With the hay from the barn. Some people today call it a compost. It smells like piss and wasted dreams in here, Brittany. Compost?
01:49:24
Speaker
Did you say it smells like piss and moist dreams in here? Is that what you said? She said wasted dreams. Oh, okay. Okay. Glick doesn't have wet dreams. He has moist dreams, okay? That's what I thought he said.
01:49:40
Speaker
Smells like piss and moist dreams in here. I'm like, what the fuck is that?
01:49:47
Speaker
Well, MoDog, when you reach a certain age... I know, and I'm looking at that age in the rearview mirror.
01:49:57
Speaker
What? ah fuck There's slosh... Oh my god, dude. Well, thank you, buddy. I'm in the of the Okay, all right, thank you. My bad. I said, will out at cash and hey we bring me a couple of beers? He brought me four of them, in there and now we're going to play a game of Russian roulette of which one's shaking up the least.
01:50:17
Speaker
Oh, that's a dangerous game. I wish you well in your journeys ahead. we We can only hope on stream. you like Wait for a second. I wish you well in your future endeavors. This one's going to squirt like Glenn.
01:50:34
Speaker
It would not be the first time there's been beer all over this fucking desk area. I was going to say, that's not the first time something squirted in his face, but he went somewhere different. I think you were more accurate, MoDog. Well, you know. With age comes wisdom. You know, 20 bucks is 20 bucks at the end of the day. That's right.
01:50:56
Speaker
And you know what age is. Exactly. and then Look it up in the dictionary. and There's my picture. Flipping Brittany off. yeah Uh-oh. Scotto just got pictures of both of you. I hope
01:51:15
Speaker
you know this. He never sleeps. He never sleeps. The phone just lit Wait. No, he's going to be in his toe. That crackle is...
01:51:27
Speaker
He didn't send me the picture of me. Scotto.
01:51:34
Speaker
a Scotto? Did he really just send you something? Did he really just send you something? I was joking, but it's not much of a joke. You said that and my phone lit up. Good job.
01:51:48
Speaker
It's like and shit. Don't say your wife's name.
01:51:59
Speaker
You know who I'm talking about. I'm sick. Good night. I'm the lead with absolutely great. Feel better, dude. Michael, we miss you already and're not even gone yet. He's like, fuck you. ain't got time for this shit. I got a head cold. Michael's the only guy on the planet that puts gray sweatpants on and looks like Kendall.
01:52:32
Speaker
and you dr work and i It's the default. what about me Mandy, I heard about your crocheted condom comment last night. That's fucking comedy gold. Oh, it was hilarious.
01:52:47
Speaker
I wish y'all could have seen the lady who said it because she was and she was an older black lady. She had a cane that she was leaning on and she was just so pointy She was just so point blank about it when she said it to her grandson. It's fantastic.
01:53:07
Speaker
See, i'm I'm getting at that age in my life to where, you know, you hear you hear stories about me. I can't wait till I'm old and I just say the fuck whatever I want and i don't care what people think.
01:53:17
Speaker
Oh, I say what I want anyway because my face has subtitles. I'm going to get an attitude for it anyway. I might as well just say it.
01:53:29
Speaker
I love it. i love it so much. Oh, yeah. My face has subtitles. Jersey, you should come up here and show me your wasted dog after his her gummy.
01:53:44
Speaker
Yeah, Jersey. She'd just be all laying out in bed like I'm just all sprawled out. like i I don't know which dimension I'm in, but I'm here. i don't know whether to lick my balls or chase the cat, man. fa Maybe the cat will lick my balls so I don't have to chase him. Oh, she's snoring? That's even better, man.
01:54:05
Speaker
Here's the here's here's the the lady with the homeless guy sharing ramen noodles. on It does look like ramen noodles at first, but i don't think get it is. Wait, what is this supposed to be?
01:54:18
Speaker
I think it's great. no no, no. Now that I look at it up on the screen, I think it's a Rice Krispie Treats. It does look like that or an underdone chicken strip.
01:54:32
Speaker
Definitely underdone chicken. a cake type thing. Or somebody's big white cock that needs to go to the clinic. in here That's a cauliflower cock.
01:54:43
Speaker
I'm going to hit him up real quick. and and our And our boy, Scotto. Speaking of vegetables, he'll never eat again. Right, Mandy?
01:54:55
Speaker
Is already at hard at work tonight. He's hard. Oh, shit. You know, we we appreciate you coming out of the forest tonight, Gleick. We do. Did you see his shirt? Club Scotto.
01:55:06
Speaker
Club Scotto. That's fantastic.
01:55:14
Speaker
he's been i sitting there I'm sitting here and talking about my mouth closed the rest of the night, so my let aren' my mouth ain't open. all second let me yeah This is what he sent me earlier. What's up, Scotto? Fucker.
01:55:30
Speaker
yeah mean Damn it, Scotto. Get up here and quit memeing us. Yeah, you little bitch. yeah you have a bo bo and then britney goes hollywood immediately it's just throw i wear my sunglasses i into my dear i have nothing to say to this you're fucking me up man wait i'm sorry it's gonna be cool
01:56:04
Speaker
Slow dog, I'm going to show her age, but she's giving off eighty s blondie vibes. Oh, a little bit. I love blondie, so let's go.
01:56:15
Speaker
ah Don't even call me a redhead, bitch. Shut up. Fucking ginger. I didn't call you a redhead. I do have some freckles, but that's from like ride the motorcycle without sunblock.
01:56:31
Speaker
No, those are the souls that you snatch trying to get out. Or trying to escape. Ride the motorcycle, is that what we call it these days? Glad Mandy said it. i didn't want to.
01:56:45
Speaker
Brittany already doesn't like me. I don't need to give her more ammo. Fuck. Yeah, you're right. I don't like you. I know. I fucking love you. Oh, look how sweet she got from it.
01:56:56
Speaker
First she's healthy, then she's sweet. Aww. why where's where's Where's Brittany and what have you done with her? Right? Fucking succubus Shaman Oh lord Oh shit Jedi did you text him again?
01:57:14
Speaker
I didn't actually the real He knows what's up He knows what's up How would you know you're never there bitch What's up Shaman? Bitch Bitch.
01:57:27
Speaker
Bitch. Bitch. It's a big old bitch. You really said that, right? I said no.
01:57:41
Speaker
yeah but you wrote you really said that right <unk> i said no and this That is one of the funniest fucking skits ever. see me so okay This is what Scotto sent me earlier. i don't believe this is supposed to be me because I would never wear anything Raiders.
01:58:01
Speaker
But I don't know what i don't know why he sent me this one.
01:58:08
Speaker
You about to raid that hind end. know exactly why. That's definitely you, dude. Let me show you where to spread my gravy. is definitely you. Stuff this turkey with my stuff. That's that glavy. Glavy.
01:58:34
Speaker
Not a fan of that. Nope. Nope. Calm down, Brady. your sunglasses back on. Ain't no stuffing like a Glick stuffing. You know what I'm saying? don't know where put them. Fuck!
01:58:48
Speaker
You literally just had them on your head. Like, for real. She's reaching for the top. Is it up here? Is it up here? Head, shoulders, knees, and toes. Brittany doesn't know. That's some strong water you're drinking tonight, Britt.
01:59:04
Speaker
They were in the last place you put them. Yeah, she's drinking that hose water. Hose water. Hose water. Hose water. who so
01:59:19
Speaker
That was a cut that was a cute laugh
01:59:26
Speaker
cute laugh. That's my favorite Britney. The one with the mic in her face like that. Unplugged. Not working. you you know No sound coming out of it. stream. It's It's her new protection blanket.
01:59:45
Speaker
I'm just practicing. i'm practicing She's to the point where she's taking this shit to work with her now. Me down with OPP? Yeah, I'm Brittany.
01:59:59
Speaker
Do you know what OPP stands for? Other people's pussy. youd be surprised You'd be surprised how many people don't know that. You your good old-fashioned glick stuffing, huh? I'm old dog's granddaughter. Oh, shit.
02:00:14
Speaker
a old dog's granddaughter oh shit My favorite turkey just stuff right there. scott i grew up in the barn. I make my condoms out of the best yarn.
02:00:26
Speaker
wasn't done with mine, but that was good much Keep it going. Let's go. wrap back You said two words and then you went for the chorus and then you're like, I wasn't done. Don't give me freestyling. laughing do it like My face started laughing. Is that what she said?
02:00:47
Speaker
Oh, man. Get a good good little fucking eight-mile going on. Like you're fucking, what what was the tall, skinny guy?
02:00:57
Speaker
Fuck, I just forgot his name. Everybody from the 313, you better fucking respect Brittany. Oh, Brittany's lighter than that. yeaha She wouldn't be on eight miles. She'd be on nine and three quarters. This is the stupidest thing ever, laughing all. be throwing up on mom's ramen, not her spaghetti and shit.
02:01:17
Speaker
yeah Little do you know, I used to take hip-hop classes. Show us. Let's see it. Hip-hop classes? I call bullshit. Hip-hop dancing classes and jazz and ballet and did Color Guard. You should jazz recized twice. Okay, thank God. should totally do that as part of your bit on New Year's Eve.
02:01:38
Speaker
Get up here, Scotto. one i want I want to hear you rap, Britt. want to hear you rap, man. No, no, no. You can do one of me. do Do a rap about me being old. Go ahead. You have my full permission. Go ahead. Hey, Mo Dog, you're old.
02:01:53
Speaker
Oh, that's fucking amazing. I'm not going to that. I'm not saying I rapped. I'm saying I danced.
02:02:03
Speaker
yeah Same, same. same same
02:02:07
Speaker
That's like rapping with your body. Right. it's So let's let's see ah see a hip-hop move, man. and do hip-hopp dance Yeah, Okay, there we go. I ain't mad at that.
02:02:19
Speaker
I didn't see that hip-hop dance.
02:02:23
Speaker
Actually, they did. You learned that when you were in the corner rocking back and forth in your special needs class. She learned that back in Nam, okay?
Family Pride and Personal Reflections
02:02:32
Speaker
right She learned that trying to get out of the yeah special coats that makes you hug yourself.
02:02:38
Speaker
yeah Special
02:02:43
Speaker
They're like, just do this. What's that make? Yeah, help you you yourself. Damn itville it, man. I love that coat. That's the hug me coat. yeah Makes you feel like a human tampon. At least you don't eat purple crayons. so They're delicious.
02:03:08
Speaker
They taste like grape. They do. They absolutely do. No, they don't taste like grape. They taste like purple. but do you know Grape is purple. i think I think... Never mind. Do you think at all?
02:03:27
Speaker
I did the Brittany too. Brittany, you're contagious, okay? you have you had the Everybody's train is derailing. hey yeah everybody is I had a concept in my brain that didn't work out well, and so I abandoned it, okay? Yeah. Just like three of my children. 911 that plane, just so you know. That was an inside so I don't feel any guilt.
02:03:57
Speaker
football profession Too soon? oh no it's just soon enough just Just soon to enough. as long As long as it's not too late for plan B, I'm fine. yeah Right on the mark. If it's too late for plan B, Leave me alone.
02:04:24
Speaker
Longest word has three letters. okay do You know what's funny? This whole panel is just a race to the bottom. I'm here for it, though. Oh, please. hit the bottom a long time ago. We're looking for a new barrel. but i got I got a proud grandpa moment, man. My granddaughter went to Washington, D.C. last week. She got to go up and put the wreath on the tomb of the unknown soldier. Oh, hell On the what?
02:04:51
Speaker
She gets to put the wreath, place the wreath on the tomb of the unknown soldiers. It was cool. Fuck yeah, dude. That's so cool. so cool. Yeah. She did good. Okay. You just saved the panel already. Thank you, Modog. Where you been? You're welcome. You're welcome.
02:05:06
Speaker
Again, age equals wisdom. I'll in about an hour.
02:05:11
Speaker
gotta wait Wait for my time to you know slip in there. Modal came in with the fire extinguisher. He's like, let' right put this shit out. There's retarded and then there's we ta did and we've been across that line.
02:05:26
Speaker
ah We are. We are bringing the fuck out of this panel right now. We are definitely the special needs of YouTube streaming right here. Yo. The nonsensical clan.
02:05:38
Speaker
I still want to see some of Britney's hip hop music. Yeah, I do too. That would be nice. That's it right there. The shoulders. you got The shoulders are moving. Mom can only afford one class. i feel like we're all just trying to use chopsticks with no thumbs. My mom left when I was 10 months old. I'm sorry. that Uncle Daddy can only afford one class.
02:06:00
Speaker
ah You know, he's going to bump the shoulders and fucking put out a hip, okay? So everybody calm down. Exactly, right? I saved my lunch money to take secret classes. That's cute. That's cute.
02:06:17
Speaker
It would only cost a dollar to eat a salad. So then I would save the rest of the money and pocket it so I could take... How much were you getting for lunch every day? I charge $20 for somebody eat my salad. God damn. How long did it take you to save up that extra eight cents every day?
02:06:31
Speaker
yeah Yeah. To make money.
02:06:36
Speaker
Also, he was like... Yeah. I don't, shut up. It kind of skipped off her head like her drunk uncle by like. I was just being serious. My dad would also leave my brother and I by ourselves and he would leave like $200 to us. You want to go get milk?
02:06:55
Speaker
He would just go on a motorcycle ride down like North Carolina like weeks. He had some great parent, parental. How old were you guys?
02:07:06
Speaker
Six and eight. ah right off the girls They were six and seven. Six, seven. What? Do you remember that, Blake? I know. I got all my fucking grandkids go crazy when thing comes on.
02:07:21
Speaker
I just want to fucking... I want to kick them like a football when they do this. I'm like, motherfucker, I'm going to stick them in your face. What are you doing? Stop saying it. My four-year-old grandson's got like a – go ahead.
02:07:35
Speaker
No, go ahead. No, no you no go ahead and get to you go ahead. No, i see youre no i all mean you by all means. You go ahead. four-year-old grandson doesn't speak the best, right? He's got kind of like a speech impediment and shit.
02:07:47
Speaker
And they don't know why because the rest the kids speak fine. But my daughter, they they they had him in like speech class last year for like preschool and stuff, but also in speech class. He talks his ass off. You just can't understand what the little fucker's saying, right? But he's animated as fuck about what he is say What he's saying he means. He means that shit. You just can't understand what the fuck it is, you know?
02:08:08
Speaker
And after after they after he went to, like, classes for it, but like $120 for, like, you know, five classes or some shit, they did it twice, and they were like, fuck, we we we we can't understand him more now than we did before we started him on the classes. We ain't doing this shit no more.
02:08:23
Speaker
But what's funny is, so he's four and the and the one closest to him in age is six. And then there was a 10 year old and a 12 year old, right? The, the, the one next to him in age can understand 98% of what he says. So he'll say shit. And even my daughter, like, you know, his fucking mother that birthed him will be like, I, I, what did he say? she'll ask like Kenzie, the granddaughter, she'll say, what what did he say? And she'll say it back.
02:08:49
Speaker
That's like, You know twins got that special language and shit? Yes. Well, she's got that language with the four-year-old that we don't know who the fuck his parents are, but whatever. cause you can't Like I said, you can't understand 98% of what he says, but he means every fucking word what he says. He fucking says it with his chest. if He does. He does. That's awesome. Yeah. has He's smart as a whip. He just they just don't fucking speak right. He can't articulate that.
02:09:20
Speaker
Well, he'll get there. he yeah Yeah, he will. He will. My internet is so clunky tonight. She didn't speak for the longest time and like still she's like 10 and She's still is just like... She has little mini me minus the talking.
02:09:40
Speaker
She's like, we'll stare you when you're talking to her. just She's taking it all in. but she didn't like really start talking until she was like four. Yeah. She's very like.
02:09:55
Speaker
Well, my son, my first kid, right? Like I was in the Marine Corps time. I was only 19 fucking years old. You young, dumb, full come. I thought it, I thought it'd be funny. Like when he started talking to like teach him bad words and shit, you know?
02:10:08
Speaker
And I must have spent six months trying to get him to say titties, right? I don't know why. I thought it was fucking funny at the time. And he he would never say it. He would never fucking say it. So, like, three months after i stopped fucking saying it to him, which, like, we're at, like, nine months now, right?
02:10:23
Speaker
We're standing in like, the equivalent of, like, a Walmart down in South Carolina. even remember what the fucking store was. But I'm holding him in my arms and shit, right? He's probably he's close to two years old at this point. And there's this humongous black lady standing behind us, man.
02:10:37
Speaker
Like, you know, Aunt Jemima looking. And they're hanging like that down to her knees, you know. And just out of the fucking blue, man. Daddy, look at the big old titties on that lady. I was like, I was fucking mortified, man. I was yeah mortified.
02:10:54
Speaker
I was like, and I like handed him off to my wife and shit and I walked out of the store. and crazy how I was so fucking embarrassed, man. How kids these days, how young they are, how quickly they like hang on to words. Like, my friend Lyric, she'll send me videos. Her three-year-old, he just turned three. he He'll be like, randomly, like, what's up, motherfucker?
02:11:15
Speaker
yeah And she's like, I don't even know where he got that from. Yeah, like I said, I was young and stupid. Had I had i had any sense about me, i wouldn't have been trying to tease him words like that in the first place, you know. but No, it's still funny. I remember when my kids were little, they used to do this to people.
02:11:33
Speaker
Yeah. yeah like I didn't do that. you i didn't do wrong. They didn't know any better, so they were just like, yeah. Well, I did this when was younger. The Chinese middle finger. yeah now Now that they're older and they know that they're not supposed to do what they'll do is they'll go, they'll be talking shit to each other and they'll go,
02:11:50
Speaker
Yeah, like real real quick. Yeah, I've still seen it. Like, what the fuck? Except for my middle daughter who's just like blatant as hell. She'll be like... And I'll look at her. Yeah, what?
02:12:05
Speaker
A lot of people these days are like, You can say it at home, but don't say it to other people. well um That's how is that's i I'm with my older son. when they were sixty When they were younger, it was cute. Now that they're older, it's like, oh, whoa, don't don't know that. Chill a little bit. but their mom would let them do it like My oldest daughter, like she cusses. The oldest one, she cusses and she doesn't even cuss properly.
02:12:33
Speaker
so Every word out of her mouth is like, So I went to check the mail, fuck. And then there was this... I'm like, do you have fucking Tourette's? They use the the swear word as like a punctuation. There should have been comma, but instead it's fuck. What the fuck is wrong with you? i was like, that's that's terrible.
02:12:56
Speaker
Stop it. Nobody wants... like you You are way too pretty to talk like that. Shut up. You know what's bad? is i can I can put the word fuck in normal conversations even in like the business world and it make it sound like it belongs there and it can be every fourth word in a fucking sentence.
Language Humor and Cultural Influences
02:13:13
Speaker
Fuck is one of my favorite words. It's so diverse. You can use it so many ways. Depends on the inflection your voice. Literally the most diverse word in the English language. like yeah like You teach your kids to not use it in a bad way to like offend other people. i don't think they're yeah I don't think you can teach your kids swear words that are not offensive to somebody.
02:13:37
Speaker
Yeah. What's bad is when they use a swear word, but they use it like... They use it contextually. It's fucking perfect. If they use it accurate, I have no problem. They knew how to say it, and they fucking said it the right way. Right. It's hard to be mad at that. You know, it's like... That's what I'm saying. You did it right.
02:13:56
Speaker
Just use other words correctly well. There's difference between going, you know, what fuck, and what the fuck? you know Or you're a fuckhead. you Right. thing and that' that's That's the problem with my oldest daughter. She doesn't know how to use them. She she just says them. yeah In the middle of church.
02:14:15
Speaker
She's your daughter. Hallelujah, motherfucker. Hallelujah.
02:14:20
Speaker
Well, that would have been contextually okay. God damn, you got a point. Don't say it in church. One time at church camp. Oh, Jesus. They fucked you over, bro. She comes back with, what the fuck, Dan? God and damn in church. It's frowned upon.
02:14:42
Speaker
Oh, we, okay, at church camp, somebody was like, oh, I said, church camp.
02:14:49
Speaker
yeah i said Was there a flute involved at church camp? Probably, because the guy ended up getting arrested. but He got arrested. the The next sermon was like, even if you use like the letters, it still means how dare you take bad things. like however yeah you britney How preacher slash pastor was a fucking square. Okay.
02:15:19
Speaker
You look like one.
02:15:24
Speaker
i want to go oh But yeah, one really did get arrested. my normal saturday night look Yeah, that happened a lot. were you Are you Catholic, Brittany? No. I'm not. I'm i'm Brittany, bitch.
02:15:35
Speaker
She's Southern Baptist all day long. Well, I come from Pentecostal, which is similar to Baptist. You come from the Church of Pentecostal.
02:15:46
Speaker
She comes from her uncle. She's got a prophecy.
02:15:52
Speaker
if you got But that's not what I believe. If you got 10 snakes in each hand, can you like communicate with them and shit? That's the difference. We didn't have snakes. Okay. They had earthworms. They had earthworms. That's like the Timo version. The Timo version.
02:16:10
Speaker
We got Timo snakes. excuse this they don't got They don't got any fangs, but they got two assholes, okay? The church camp that I went to, the second one, anyway was like a mixture of all different... Did you get kicked out of the first one?
02:16:27
Speaker
No, it was just an old one. Let's just call them what they really were. They were a sex camp. Oh, if only.
02:16:36
Speaker
Jedi, you don't know the first church camp story? Actually, the second one could have been. um and i'm still i'm still I'm still disappointed at you. I thought the guy was a proper gentleman.
02:16:48
Speaker
Do you suck dick? Check yes or no. Milkshake on the head. That was rude. I didn't know. What's going on now? I don't i don't even know what's happening. He came up grabbed my face, and licked me from the chin up.
02:17:04
Speaker
He was marking his territory. What the? No, he passed me a note that said, like, do you have sex with me Yes or no? And I was like, no. He was like, at least oral in the prayer garden? Yes or no? And I said no. And she said, hang on the internet. He was out there praying for some oral is what you're saying.
02:17:24
Speaker
My friend saw it and she took her milkshake and poured it all on top of his head. and note The note came from her brother. She would have done it if there wasn't so many spelling errors. Hello, Brankia. Is how it?
02:17:41
Speaker
all alright you know she would have done it if there wasn't so many spelling errors hello brinka is that how you say it Yeah, this Brankia is my nickname.
02:17:53
Speaker
I'm from Italy. My real name is Fidelico. That's so fake as hell, man. Knock it off. No, man. I feel like you've been here before, bro. I know. I'm scrolling. I see your channel, and I say, why? Why no? Why no?
02:18:12
Speaker
He said i'm you he's um I'm Italian, but he sounds Russian.
02:18:17
Speaker
um white beat I don't say this. Yeah, welcome to the panel, but we all call bullshit. but Yeah. yeah what What is the panel? What is the panel?
02:18:31
Speaker
Just hanging out, having fun, having a good time. okay Okay, okay, okay. Because I say nonsenical nonsense, you call nonsense, and I say this is my panel. no yeah and so Yeah, we're hanging out, talking shit, busting balls, having a good time.
02:18:46
Speaker
But why people say when when i am when I speak ah English, when I try to speak English, because ah I am very bad to speak English and i not ah really good to understand English. But when not when when I speak, people tell me that i'm sound like Russian.
02:19:05
Speaker
Have you heard of Russian? I think it's the Russian. Have you heard of Russian? So speak Italian. yeah i i can postup pala vital italiano questa allingue italianana butduun chatta cover ta me take withto italianiano i say that i say you're doing italian italian well italians speak with their hands a lot i know yeah yeah maybe but i'm focusing on that and i know what he's saying is like uh very rude but uh
02:19:43
Speaker
but the I'm not Russian. I'm not Russian, please. Mother Russia has declined my offer. I'm good.
02:19:56
Speaker
So you're a musician, eh? Well, welcome to the panel. It's nice to meet you. I work in a buy this instrument meant because I like, but my work factory work.
02:20:12
Speaker
i I move ah robots. and I'm sure you do. Nice. Do you play at all or do you just like the way they look?
02:20:23
Speaker
No, I play. I play all the instruments I have. I can play. had what give me what's what's the hand What's the hand gesture for three?
02:20:34
Speaker
What? Sorry, sorry. What's the hand gesture for the number three? If you were going to tell me, if you were ordering three beers... All right, right, all right. You might be legit. You passed Modog's test. You might be legit.
02:20:46
Speaker
Ah, because you and um in America, you, you, you, it's like this? Wow, no. In America, it's like this, Some places in America, it's like this for three. Yeah. That's what i said.
02:21:06
Speaker
I had him speaking in Italian, man. He was on fire. I don't know what he said. We can't fact check him, but we believe him now. they i had him i had him ah i had him speaking in italian man he was he was on fire i don't know what he said i believe he seems he seems we can't fact check him but we believe him now wait i Wait, I speak fluent Italian, man. Shepo Yordi.
02:21:28
Speaker
Shepo Yordi. Olive Garden. Here, who know what in Italian? you you g clickck you You can say something in Italian?
02:21:39
Speaker
I can't. No, I can't speak Italian. Nobody. Nobody. No, nobody. None of the five of us on here can speak Italian. Yo Adrian! I can speak New York Italian.
02:21:54
Speaker
Forget about it, eh? What's the matter with you, eh? Oh, you think you can speak New Italian? I don't think you succeeded at that. You can't even fucking say it, Jen. I said shut up. Anyway, anyway, anyway.
02:22:13
Speaker
What is the game of the year? Water is the cream of the year? Wait, what? The game. The game. The video game of the year.
02:22:26
Speaker
They got it. They got it. Wait a minute. There's a water polo video game out there? Yeah, yeah. There's a competition her and people i' say of are searching for the ah best video games of 25. And for
02:22:42
Speaker
and for you i want I want to play the world. GTA 28. I don't know. I want to play water polo on on my Xbox. That sounds amazing.
02:22:52
Speaker
You know you've been banned, okay? You know you've been banned, Glick. He says hi, how you?
02:23:00
Speaker
oh oh oh oh see john is in that are the spanish oh yeah is my the yeah yeah that italian spanish to speak broca do you see the chat you got somebody you got somebody talking to you yeah yeah yeah chuck stop me about you he say he say hi how are you that's um Jersey, you're the only one who can tell us if that's right or wrong.
02:23:26
Speaker
Jersey learned that in two days. I'm a Russian. I'm talking to your computers. she just She just Google translated that shit real quick. That's
02:23:41
Speaker
what I was about to do, to be honest. Oh, you shouldn't have told I speak Italian and it should have said something. um I like the Italian guy. He's cool as fuck. I like the Italian guy too. want to know where you... Are you going to make us a huge meal? What is the nickname stands for?
02:23:58
Speaker
What does that mean? Brittany ovulating now that you're here. Brankia, you say. Brankia. Yeah, what does that mean? Yeah, he's made nothing.
02:24:08
Speaker
It's from my surname. I am Federico Barchesi. This is my complete name. freddaicco That's like me. My my my my name is Glick, and everybody calls me by my last name.
02:24:22
Speaker
Dickhead. Oh, sorry. yeah the last That's his middle name. Calm down. yeah is versus That's his Catholic name. That's my slave name.
02:24:34
Speaker
Don't call me by my slave name. Don't use my government name. i go Calm down, Cassius Clay. And tell me something. yeah How do you stay in the USA? Is it a cool place?
02:24:49
Speaker
was born here. Or is it a problematic place? and if you're if you're really If you're really not trolling us, the USA and America, from all the shit you hear on the TV, is not nearly as bad as all the stuff you hear in the media.
02:25:02
Speaker
It's fine. It's fine over here, man. Okay. so very We're very cool and accepting. It's all they do is show the bad shit, man, because, you know, pumps up their ratings. I'm not trolling. I'm not trolling.
02:25:14
Speaker
I know that ah you have some ah problem with weapons, people are shooting, ah and something like that. Yeah, we do we do have a lot of mass shootings. But the bad people the bad people have guns, but the good people have guns, too, and the good people will... yeah yeah you back Yeah. Because in Italy, we do do not ah have guns.
02:25:35
Speaker
and Only people to go to hunt, ah hunt ah to animals, have some guns, but... Yeah, Italy gave up their rights a long time ago.
02:25:47
Speaker
Yeah. ah you You're saying that this is a demonstration of a right, the right of the people. I'm just saying you you you have a well-armed society, a.k.a. America, right?
02:26:00
Speaker
And one of the main reasons that we have weapons here is to fight tyranny, not to fight each other. So that's one of that's one of the reasons why nobody will ever invade America, because not only do they have to worry about our military,
02:26:14
Speaker
I think the last stat that I heard was for every 100 people, there's 120 There's more guns in this country than there are people. so not only not only would you be fighting the military, you'd be fighting all the civilians. yeah yeah yeah Because we not only we not only have them, we're well trained in them and know how to use them.
02:26:30
Speaker
yeah We're not afraid of our government. Our government is afraid of us. Yeah, yeah not only that, but all of the rednecks. We like to just for fun.
02:26:46
Speaker
g yeah easy easy these is i say that the I'm afraid about ah people with guns because ah ah you know something the the most most of the times people get out of mines okay and if you get out of mines and you have a punch you can do nothing but that if you have a gun you can in the do ah yeah you know what i get are color that I agree with that.
02:27:21
Speaker
You can make a bomb out of sparklers and electric. Jersey's in the chat. That's not a gun. That's even more dangerous. think I'm going to do that.
02:27:35
Speaker
i am a let said i think i'm going to do forgot that too
02:27:42
Speaker
Are you leaving us, Brittany? Only female on a panel and you're going to go. He said yeah you can't leave on song of problemma kill it but sona mentalment and staillo so no he say that is's not that the the gun problem is that the and instability mental problem he That's a part of a lot of the violence. ah She said that. Sorry. People having mental illnesses, but like a lot of people do come across guns and like they get them illegally, like scratch off the serial numbers. you know whatever
02:28:21
Speaker
That's the problem. The people that go through the things that they need to go through to actually get the guns that are trustworthy and everything. That is where I'm i'm okay with people having guns.
02:28:36
Speaker
and i You know what? ah A well-armed society is a polite society. That's all I'm going to say. true When you know shit can pop off, you're going to act right. Hands and seeds. It's only for... How have been? Long time no see it.
02:28:53
Speaker
or hunting. It's cool for me because ah you know I am Italian but to I have the American dream for of all my life.
02:29:05
Speaker
i e You know, in Italy. In Italy. Maybe. you need a maybe and may get my good friend i don't see you now,
02:29:17
Speaker
oh your girlfriendy's pennies up on this plan and this plan need
02:29:30
Speaker
You know, in Italy, yeah you you like Italy. You like Italy. Maybe you see the the sea, the waves. mean, you guys have some of the best damn food on Planetary. But in Italy, we have the American dream.
02:29:44
Speaker
I dream about America. I see movies and the TV shows in ambient in America.
02:29:56
Speaker
I dream ah about America. I dream about Jeannie. I was thinking the same. right, Bronchi, real quick without thinking about it. What time is it there? 3 and 45 of 3 45 in the morning. Brittany will be there in minutes.
02:30:25
Speaker
more like more of the morning He's gonna swim the fuck me Atlantic. Do you have a Russian background? You do sound more Russian than you do Italian. ah No, no.
02:30:39
Speaker
I think it's just... No, no, no. I don't pick up on the Russian anymore. Maybe I sound like this ah because ah i know I'm trying to speak English. ah I never study English. ah I learn in ah TV series and films.
02:30:58
Speaker
But... You know, pe people in Italy don't speak English. If you come in Italy, in a pub, in a bar, in... You're not ordering any drinks, right? If you if you if you speak with people, it's very difficult. Trust me. My dad and his wife went to Italy. but and And they can't speak English because the people speaking like...
02:31:25
Speaker
where And she's from Ecuador, so it was even harder for So yeah, they had a hard time. but they My dad, he said the food wasn't that great in Italy. i don't know. i got it from my mama.
02:31:41
Speaker
oh Brittany, that that can't be true. I know. That's what I'm saying. Maybe he just went to the wrong places. bra he frank yeah what did What did Jersey say there?
02:31:55
Speaker
It's a bit different from where you live and here. She said it's different when I live from the place different when live than here. She said.
02:32:11
Speaker
You guys... it's a little different when you live ah than here she say oh you guys yeah you guys Frank, yeah, you, I don't know if you remember or not.
02:32:22
Speaker
You've been up here before. That's the when you popped in. I remember your background. You've actually hung out before. You remember me? yeah I do remember you. I remember your background and I remember your accent and everything like that.
02:32:34
Speaker
I'm sorry, my friend. i don't remember this. But I'm really sorry. It's my fault. You're very forgettable. You're very forgettable. I'm drunk right now. I'm drunk. Yeah. I drink wine all night. and Bronco, brack you what he's saying is you are very memorable, and he's obviously not. So it's all good. No, no, no. He has a little crush on you.
02:32:58
Speaker
Maybe I do. Maybe it's the accent. This is the second bottle of wine. This is a problem. I share with my girlfriend, but now stop. house Sorry,
02:33:13
Speaker
I don't know if... Just because you have a girlfriend, it doesn't mean Brittany's not interested. I love breathing. I love breathing. It's like, you know, my... A lot of moisture in this panel now. The gem, the twin heart. we have i ah Maybe. America.
02:33:37
Speaker
i have i have to to think about marha
02:33:43
Speaker
mo dog you might really like i really like america Yeah, we've unlocked a new fetish tonight. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm like trying to focus on. Jersey say l'italiano è la lingua dell'amore.
02:33:59
Speaker
Oh, you better back off Jersey. That's low dogs, girl. She says that Italian is the the um language of love. language of love um Jersey, girl, calm your chest. Right, right.
02:34:14
Speaker
um So as of tonight, I'm single again. so Got any cute Italian girlfriends, man, looking for passports? in that trail You have nice really like it, my friend.
02:34:33
Speaker
Maybe we can do something. She is right, though, man. Italian's one of those fucking, i like, you could hear somebody in Italian or French, I think, both those languages. yeah you could You could hear somebody say something about somebody just taking a dump on a toilet, and it sounds good, you know?
02:34:46
Speaker
That sounds like a sexy-ass man. Scott has said girlfriend. Boo!
02:34:53
Speaker
You know, me for me, USA is good. Real quick to switch back to English. She said, you ain't single, motherfucker. Yes, she did. yes you did Yes, she did. Didn't need no Google Translate there, did you, babe? Wait, see.
02:35:14
Speaker
Scotto, I think Scotto needs to come up and talk with Brankia. Yeah, Scotto. That's who the girlfriend boo comment was about. yeah Yeah, it was funny. I do got to get a microphone like Moda. Brittany's heart's broke. Scotto's heart's broke. Everybody's got broken hearts now.
02:35:33
Speaker
Damn it, Italian stud. Hell nah. Hell nah, Moda. Hell can't translate this.
02:35:46
Speaker
Kayla's not even awake and and you're on her shit list now. She's still having wet dreams. For what? I am for what? Because you said I'm single now. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah. Yeah, bro. You fucked up. Kayla waking up dropping the drool off her lip like, fuck Moodog, man.
02:36:04
Speaker
not Anyway, there's so many ovaries dropping right now. People, you know, people question about Italy. wow, Europe, Europe in general. It's a penny. It's very cool.
02:36:19
Speaker
We have to travel in Europe, but no way. He's West Coast, man. America, America is is good. America, I like it. I spend a lot of money for the an American guitar. You know, a Fender.
02:36:36
Speaker
A Fender guitar. a lot money. Fender guitar, yes.
Travel Dreams and Relationship Humor
02:36:39
Speaker
Do you play? Let's hear something, man Do you play? i and i play... He's like, but I'm drunk. ain't playing now. I am a drummer. I am a drummer. Oh, okay. But I bought this drum. I bought the gi guitar because it is a good deal.
02:36:56
Speaker
I see the... i Calm down, Brittany. And... And when people say, what fender are you about?
02:37:07
Speaker
I say, and yeah yeah they they told me that he's American or Mexican. I told American and they, ah, okay. Yeah, American fender is a guitar. a Mexican fender is off the front of a car. That's the difference.
02:37:24
Speaker
No, that's China. That's Timo. That's Timo, Mexico. I like to try. Well, Bronchia, you don't know it, but you came into this chat with one girlfriend. You now have two, possibly three.
02:37:37
Speaker
so You're the third one, right? Okay. Scotto. He hasn't been Scotto yet. Scotto and Brittany. I've been to England, France, Greece, and Ecuador.
02:37:49
Speaker
But why not Italy? I haven't been there yet. England, France, ah Greece. sir Why Greece? Why Greece? Jedi, I think we need you and I need to go off camera, man.
02:38:00
Speaker
Let them have stage. Why Greece? We need to give them a drink. I need to smoke anyway. Italy is more romantic. It's more spectacular. No, I went with my dad. Rome is the most beautiful city of the world.
02:38:14
Speaker
Which is why my dad and his wife went there. But no. I wasn't able to. But no, Greece is beautiful and it was cheap. I went during the coronavirus thing.
02:38:27
Speaker
So it was really cheap. It was beautiful. But Italy and Japan and on New Zealand, those are the next three that I want to see.
02:38:41
Speaker
Italy is cool. Jersey says, Jersey, say, my heart is full because have a wonderful man. she say and my full my heart is full because ah i have a a wonderful man
02:39:01
Speaker
Goddamn right. the opposite great your Your heart is full because you have wonderful men? Jensie, you don't know me. You don't know me.
02:39:12
Speaker
so
02:39:14
Speaker
let me Let me clarify something, Bronchia. I'm her fucking man. yeah You are the man of jealousy. Yes, that there is no drown the We're about to invade Italy. Fuck around and find out.
02:39:33
Speaker
He's a Sarge. We're about to show you why we got all these fucking weapons. You have some weapons. not Because my girlfriend's dad have a lot of weapons.
02:39:46
Speaker
It's not like they da the but italian Italians but do not have weapons usually. But the dad the ah the dad of my girlfriend...
02:39:58
Speaker
MoDog, I feel like we're going to have to teach Jersey lesson. need you to download TikTok and you can go live with me and we can get all the women on TikTok. Start doing some thirst traps and shit. This will be my first TikTok.
02:40:16
Speaker
No, don't steal my thing. Don't steal my thing. MoDog, MoDog, Kayla said jerk Jersey would get a lot more men going crazier for her thirst traps than you would over yours. I told her. I don't know. I don't know about that. I don't know about that.
02:40:34
Speaker
mean, you know. She's going have women and men. She's going to have women and men. Yeah. you Hold on. First of all, what what what makes you, Kayla, what makes you think I want to?
02:40:49
Speaker
I just want you to know, Jersey, this girl loves you. She's like, fuck everybody. yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That. What what Glick just said.
02:41:00
Speaker
This girl, she fucking loves her some damn ah fucking in ah Jersey, man. Jersey's the dopest. But no, Lazy Jedi your children will be bilingual, Brittany. I'm not having children, first of all.
02:41:16
Speaker
i'm not having children first of all but if that were why um
02:41:23
Speaker
I don't post search traps no more. Even though I've been told it's okay if i post search traps. I don't post them. I'm the cool aunt. Cool auntie. You're the cool auntie.
02:41:35
Speaker
Your family all together. Yeah, I like this. In Italy, Italian people make... a large families no no more of children uh you know yeah the population is uh decreasing well the world is getting worse and worse so just feel like what the fuck up click so yes the world has become overpopulated and shitty no it's not
02:42:10
Speaker
Actually, in a lot of countries, there's a big population decline.
Weather Woes and Military Jokes
02:42:14
Speaker
Oh, shit. Oh, shit. That's who I think it is. My boy. Oh, gosh. You shut the fuck up, Brittany. Rick? Rick? Rick? Rick's in building. Do you actually show up on a Saturday, you bitch?
02:42:34
Speaker
Oh, my God. am, like, speechless. I am, like, speechless. I don't even know why he doesn't show up all the time because he's the best. Okay. Well, because have other things that I am typically doing. this How are you doing tonight? How are you, bro?
02:42:51
Speaker
I'm freezing. Dude, it just stops knowing where I'm at. um i in beach I'm in Myrtle Beach and it's 40 fucking degrees. Isn't that where Bugs Bunny was trying to get to?
02:43:02
Speaker
I can't even open the door to the resort. This isn't Myrtle Beach. This is the ocean because it's too fucking cold. Yeah, you can, you pussy. and You're from New York, bro. You're from Buffalo, bro. 43 is a heat wave.
02:43:15
Speaker
You're right, but I don't feel like suffering with it. He's like, I came down here for a reason. but he he Look, he can't come up here on Saturday nights because he's too busy defending our country on Battle Siege 6 Call of Duty. or Battle Star Galactica? Yeah, and they kicked me out of the Chaos Clan, motherfuckers. Yeah, me too. You just stopped coming around. Brittany is the Chaos. No, no, no, no, no.
02:43:46
Speaker
Rick, don't even fucking start. You guys have your little four group people. Quit trying to Roller, Rick. And then I would try show up and play with you guys and you're like, oh, fuck Brittany. And so I stopped playing.
02:43:59
Speaker
We're just teasing Jersey. write and Write a fucking letter to Treyarch and tell him to allow more than four people in a group and then we'll talk. You're not worth my time. It's fine. Whoa. Dismissed.
02:44:12
Speaker
Correct. You are the weakest link. No, I'm just kidding. Rick, I I've ever you, man. Nice to meet you, dude. What's up, buddy? rick rick i don't think i've ever met him man nice to meet you dude was that bunny i said and I don't think I've ever met you, man. Nice to meet you.
02:44:31
Speaker
It's a place to meet you. is i assume We've talked on the Sunday podcast before. oh yeah Oh, you're that dick. Okay, never mind. That's me. He's like, who's this fucking crayon eater in the chat? That's exactly what I said. see I know. i got a good fucking memory, dude.
02:44:49
Speaker
know good to see it Good to see you again. man note to no No TBI too bad for you, right? Exactly. Exactly. Because the reason why I'm here. So I will give him much love. That's my bro.
02:45:02
Speaker
You gotta give me love because lord knows both your bird's teams fell on their faces this past year. don't want to talk about it, okay? Cowboys shit in their fucking nests. The cowboys shit in their nests. Big healthy stinky one too. broc was And they had to eat it.
02:45:20
Speaker
I didn't wear my jersey. Fuck you. But either way, I won't be here tomorrow so that's why I figured I'd throw that at you today. Well, yeah, I mean, dude yeah you're ah you're so busy on the weekends. Like, Rick's kids encourage him to come up here on Saturday nights, and he don't and you don't do it.
02:45:38
Speaker
That hurts our hearts, Rick. I had a stretch, sorry. Yeah, mainly mainly because Rick's kids are like, Dad, Uncle Glick's live. Go hang out with Uncle Glick. He's like, fuck that Glick. He didn't see my stretch, but that's okay.
02:45:53
Speaker
I didn't see your stretch because I don't fucking care. Hold on. I'll stretch for you again. Gay! The international symbol of gay pride. That's awesome.
02:46:03
Speaker
No, that would be that would be... How were they doing it? there I think that was this. hey At least you spelled it right. Unlike most graduates from that university.
02:46:14
Speaker
Rick, did you say you're in Myrtle Beach right now? we're closed I am currently, yes. And it's 43. That sucks. Yeah. i be the graduate It was 32 when I got up this morning to watch the sun come up. And I was going to drink coffee on the night. Do you usually wake up to see the sun come Fuck that. Right back in bed. I have i have ocean views. So I like to watch sun come up over the ocean because that's not something I get very often.
02:46:36
Speaker
So when I do come to Myrtle, when I do come to Myrtle, I get up early to watch the sun come up because the first thing I see when I look out the door is the ocean. right That's pretty badass to be honest. i When I used to work on the Beats, that was my favorite thing. like watching It was 32 fucking degrees this morning so I made coffee and sat at the table and watched it through the glass door.
02:46:57
Speaker
At least still got to see it. Yeah, you said he you sent me a Snapchat like I was supposed to fucking feel sorry for him when it's like 40 something degrees here in Ohio. I'm like shut the fucking bitch. Did you see my sweatshirt?
02:47:12
Speaker
yeah let me show everybody real quick on show up i didn't show up with a hoodie because it wasn't really cold when i left atlanta i showed up with just t-shirts so i told my sister who went to the boardwalk i said hey give me a hoodie while you're there and she said okay so she had one custom made for me is it my little pony Pink Pony Club.
02:47:40
Speaker
Your mother should have swallowed you. That's goddamn.
02:47:46
Speaker
Best part of you brown stain. Ended up on the mattress. yeah know the we Where are you at? South? Are you in South or North Myrtle Beach? South, I'm assuming. so we don't we don't go we no We don't go south of the Skywheel.
02:47:59
Speaker
No. okay We're in Northside. Don't you forget Dog. no less that I mean, North's better than South. south just knows its day north North is a tourist trap too, but South is a total fucking tourist trap, man. oh Well, that's that's why everybody says this went South because South is always worse. That's not true. oh but yeah solve metle Shut up, Brittany. That's where it became Murder Beach because it sketches fuck South of the Skywheel.
02:48:28
Speaker
Yeah. Thank you for being white. totally Guys, I'm sorry I have to go. It's too late for me. i yeah to say yeah Take care, of man.
02:48:40
Speaker
Nice meeting you. Hey, good to meet you, bro. That's that's how Brittany says bye everybody. I just repeated what he said. Thank you for stopping in, Brankia. She'll be there when you wake
02:48:59
Speaker
Make sure your doors are locked before you go to bed. You wish, Brittany. You wish you a child. I gotta feel like I'm fitting in. Hold on. I feel left out. There you go. cool kick It's cool kids' sunglasses night, man.
02:49:11
Speaker
I mean, I'm gonna go with it.
02:49:16
Speaker
Actually, I'm watching Auburn trying to come back on oh Alabama right now. Brittany just poked herself in the fucking eye. That's normal for her. That's a Friday night for her. My God gave her two.
02:49:31
Speaker
extra I'm not saying a word. I'm going to shut my mouth. Britt, did I hear you say that you're here on Nonsense School because of Rick? You guys knew each other before here?
02:49:43
Speaker
Yeah, met him on Call of Duty. Oh, okay, cool. I was at war. I was at war when I met Brittany. that Well, that's like most of the relationships in her life, to be fair. Most of mine, too. That's why I'm divorced.
02:50:00
Speaker
At war.
02:50:05
Speaker
Every day. we can hear you flush, Glick. I was about to say. yeah wait Wait for a second one. It's a through flusher. Wash your hands, you dirty fuck.
02:50:16
Speaker
He's over there dropping a stink pickle on the fucking audio. Yeah.
02:50:23
Speaker
He doesn't vegetables, but he sends them out. He's over there pinching a loaf off. Like, they can't hear me. Yeah. He just gave himself hemorrhoids and busted fucking vessels in his eyes. If he comes back with a busted blood vessel in his eye you all know that was a hell of a push. great He just shit out racism right there. and He got rid of it altogether. Turn my camera back on. yeah fucks that brown What's that brown shit in your beard, man? What the fuck is that? Am I a hair color? You know, he took shrapnel, okay?
02:50:58
Speaker
Give him a break. Watching the finale of Survival. There's a splatter effect. It's a splatter effect. Incoming!
02:51:09
Speaker
I'm watching Rasslin. Rasslin. I'm watching the Alabama-Auburn game. reluching like I'm watching you both watch other shit. yeah I'm watching Jedi because he said I have to watch him constantly. so Oh, that's a good point.
02:51:28
Speaker
He's not hard to see. got peer pressured into this hat tonight. Okay. mo He's gone, but i I'm still watching Bronchia. I do have to go though.
02:51:40
Speaker
Where are you going? It's 10 o'clock on a Saturday. What are you doing? He's got to catch a flight to Italy immediately. Exactly. It's 10 o'clock on a Saturday. you saw You know where your kids are. You saw her grab that passport.
02:51:56
Speaker
Modog might be the only one old enough to know that statement. Oh, I do know it, man. Yeah, it was on every Saturday. All the celebrities. ye Here locally, it was our local news anchor, Al Shadokadi.
02:52:07
Speaker
Every, yeah. It's 10 o'clock. Do you know where your children are? Who was it? Alshado Cotty is just a local guy. But like every local where every local city had run. It sounds like you're saying don't know. Cincinnati. oh gross. Cincinnati? I know. That's why i moved out of there. Cincinnati. What the fuck was that?
02:52:29
Speaker
Bengals fan and everything. oh You're a Kentucky Bengals fan? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Jesus. The only good thing even close to Cincinnati that I know of is my friend Katie.
02:52:39
Speaker
She's a Butler County Sheriff. Look, and Moe Dogg's defense, he doesn't know any better. he is a Marine. Yeah, that's purple crayons, remember? essentially His sense of direction is on fucking point. He's just going to dig a hole to get where he's got to go. it's Exactly. see he knows. Rick knows, man. If you give him a shovel, he'll dig anywhere out of Cincinnati.
02:53:00
Speaker
yeah Give me an E-Tool, man. i'll fucking I'll get you wherever you want to fucking go, man. That's what I'm saying. You hand that motherfucker an E-Tool, a lighter, and a box of fucking toothpicks. He's have shopping mall in month. I'll build you a fucking tank, man.
02:53:12
Speaker
all need to find a place for me. We got MacGyver up here. like when the No, just a Marine. When the apocalypse inevitably happens.
02:53:23
Speaker
Zombies. all need We'll be in Baltimore. I promise you that. If a zombies happen, I'm getting into it. I'm saying we need to find a place. It's already in Baltimore and Philadelphia. I probably have the best location already for the start of the apocalypse as I'm in Georgia, where behind every fucking tree is a gun owner. Right, right.
02:53:50
Speaker
Well, I mean, I think the trees like that in Ohio and Kentucky and Indiana, Virginia, Virginia. shit all carry here So this is the this is the thing that kills me.
02:54:01
Speaker
Like all these southern states. And by the way, newsflash, in case you guys don't remember, you lost a war. i hope sir Thanks for that reminder.
02:54:13
Speaker
Them boys in the north, they don't want none of us because we know how to hunt. Right. We hunt in the north too and it's just as rural in the north as it is down south. It's just fucking colder.
02:54:26
Speaker
A lot colder. I reiterate, you already lost once. That's why we started buying more guns so it doesn't happen a second time. Yeah. This South will rise again, God damn it. You're from Buffalo, New York, Rick. Shut the hell up. Smart enough to get the fuck out of there, too. Jedi's like, ain't got no part of this. I'm in fucking Minnesota. Y'all fight it out. You're the only thing that moved back north, you dumb fuck.
02:54:54
Speaker
Texans are a big ones, man. Texans will be like... I'll wait until one side has the edge and I'll join that side. Actually... i'll tell you what. Texas today isn't the Texas it used to be.
02:55:04
Speaker
I found a state that has more pride and might be more obnoxious than Texas.
02:55:12
Speaker
If you say Ohio, I will. Massachusetts. Hawaii. Hawaii. wife wow hate they only eat Spam. Nobody cares.
02:55:22
Speaker
Best thing they got to Poke Bowls and volcanoes, man. Fuck that. And all the fish that you can dream of from the ocean. well Yeah, there's that. I mean, I was not game with a buddy who's Hawaiian, and I have never met anybody who's more proud to be from anywhere in my life.
02:55:41
Speaker
And I know people from everywhere. That's just because they want to kick everybody off to good beaches, man. That's all it is. The Hawaiians hate everybody that's not Hawaiian, and then they hate most of their Hawaiian friends.
02:55:53
Speaker
They don't want to be part of the United States. like Fuck you, you conquered bitches. were completely good being part of Samoa and Guam. And then we were like, no, fuck you, come here. like no We want your beaches, so come here. No, you're eyes Come here, come here, come here.
02:56:07
Speaker
And they're like, fuck you. That's kind of what did to Jedi. I like, come here. Why do you have a That's exactly how it went down. it like come here youre why do you hear Damn
02:56:25
Speaker
this has so so showing where it's plugged into You're like a stoner Meghan Trainor. let's It's not even plugged in, dude. It's plugged into thoughts and happiness. She really is the stoned Meghan Trainor. She forgot to even plug the mic in. It's plugged into dreams of Italia.
02:56:44
Speaker
I'm too high to plug it in. I didn't hear you. and but yes Point your dildo at us. Yeah, really? it's It's a dildo, Rick. Take your sex toy away for fuck's sake. You're going to get some of the screens. Stop it.
02:57:00
Speaker
andreney's and Did you say your dad already plugged your dildo in? He took it away. And then her cousin had a golden one that got stolen or something. I remember parts of these.
02:57:11
Speaker
Wait, your cousin had a golden dildo and your dad took yours away? I'd be taking the gold one and pawn that bitch. In Brittany's defense, she's getting comfortable pouring the microphone for New Year's Eve.
02:57:25
Speaker
And bought another fucking gun, just so we're clear. Would you want another gun? No, I'd pawned the golden dildo for money to go buy another gun. Don't say the G word on YouTube. We'll get in trouble. Say pe pew pew.
02:57:40
Speaker
Oh, should I keep mine hidden then? Yes. You need to show up every goddamn Saturday. this I already got lectured about that, by the way. got in trouble for it. just having yeah would you Think of things about who, think about where my sister's from. right that Yeah, no, never mind. Yes. Now, she is a legal registered. She's a legal registered owner in New York, right? But because her license doesn't reciprocate anywhere else and she couldn't bring hers, I wasn't supposed to bring mine.
02:58:09
Speaker
No, fuck that. That's not how it works. She's like, the resort she's like the resort doesn't allow pew pews. And I'm like, yeah, neither do most places I go. But guess what?
02:58:20
Speaker
I don't know about it. That's why people come to Ohio to get a CCW because it's recognized in so many states. Yeah, that's true. That is true. no anywhere without w Yeah, the Ohio CCW is recognized in more states than any other CCW you get.
02:58:42
Speaker
did. I
02:58:48
Speaker
i did I heard it. It's equivalent. It is. great Here's the fun fact. Hold on. Here's the fun fact. always carry one in the pipe, man. 61% of self-inflicted gunshot wounds come from trying to chamber around in an emergency situation. Oh, you said the word. You said the bad word. Stop saying the G word.
02:59:10
Speaker
I was given a statistic about it. So it's factual. It's educational. We're talking about Call of Duty. Also, I'm just practicing with the mic. The great thing about Ohio is...
02:59:23
Speaker
Ohio has always been an open carry pew pew state. So are we. And not too long ago, Ohio went to permitless CCW. Constitutional carry. carry. We did the same.
02:59:37
Speaker
Fucking Ohio. me i looked I looked on the map when I was going up to Boston for my brother's funeral. Just to see just to see where I was traveling and where I could be. you know like Whatever. Don't watch New York State.
02:59:49
Speaker
Oh no, it's it's but all of all of New England is red. It's all red. It's like... yeah Does not carry over. Now, now... shit in anybody i can't so I can't open in South Carolina.
03:00:03
Speaker
Well, I know. I can only open in South Carolina. South Carolina don' think permitless carry, too. i can I can only open in South Carolina if I concealed and they can print it through my shirt. It's a felony.
03:00:18
Speaker
Okay, can we talk about something else? Why, because you live in Maryland where you're not allowed to have them? so I was never said that. I have plenty. was allegedly informed before the law changed in Ohio and everything like that. This is just getting boring. And they were like, you know, and and MoDog, you're basically... I'm going to head out.
03:00:38
Speaker
Okay, Brittany. Make like a fetus and head out? Well, I mean, it's like I'm not interested. We're going to get back to the craziness. Calm down, baby. So because you're not getting your way, everybody else has to concede to you? No. I like talking about pew-pews. Would you rather me claim this be a comedy show and try to talk about mental health and get all serious? No. I'm not Blaze, okay?
03:01:04
Speaker
Oh, boy. has He has nothing to do with this. I was making fun you guys couple Wednesdays. The health thing has nothing do with comedy. I thought I heard you say you were going to invite him up. Let's get back to the funny shit.
03:01:15
Speaker
ah let's do it I didn't catch her say that about 10 minutes ago I'm just going to invite Blaze on hump day Wednesdays or hump day ha ha's you guys went all Oprah all out of nowhere and I'm like what the fuck is this this is the western movie conversation all over I couldn't even i can't handle when it gets serious like that and it's like that you're not funny anymore I'm just like but you can I'm done what are you going to can't handle the serious parts of life
03:01:46
Speaker
Well, right now I'm trying to work on my set for the freaking New Year's Eve thing. So I'm trying to... Go ahead and wow us with your set. Just give us a taste. A portion.
03:01:57
Speaker
A sample. the and from loud Knock, knock. Who is that? Cow. Interrupting cow. and a Interrupting cow. h did I got a better one than that. Damn it. I was taking a drink as Glick said the first part and I knew how it was going to end. irony now and ruin my laptop I it. The minute he said interrupting, I'm like, no, don't bite. Don't take the bait. No. I wanted to hear it. Knock, knock. Those are my favorite.
03:02:31
Speaker
Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil. Who? Never mind. It's pointless. Right. That's seriously one of my favorite dad jokes of all time. That's so fucking good. stealing that for sure. What did my niece? My niece told me a joke today. What did she say? She said, oh, she said, i did now, mind you, my my niece is like, God, how old is she? She's like five or six.
03:02:59
Speaker
he said Uncle Chrissy, you want to hear a joke? And I said, hell yeah. Oh, fuck off, G2K. Come on. it. You know you love son of a telling and joke on how many joke what did what did the pencil say to the other pencil well You're looking sharp today. That was stupid. It was for my fucking five-year-old niece. Shut up, Brittany. I bet she tells it better. I bet she tells it better. Uh-oh. Twinsies. Riggs was fucking hot not.
03:03:37
Speaker
No, that's cute coming from a kid, but coming from you is just like stupid. Brittany said it best. I'm going to say that. going to say that when you do your comedy bit. This would be funny if it was coming from a kid.
03:03:52
Speaker
come from me I want to throw a beer. where do i ever gonna like you fuck out on her Warren, Ohio, January or December a whole month late for New Year's doing a January
03:04:06
Speaker
It's Akron, isn't it? It's going to be January 32nd if my memory curves. only i'm Only on leap year. What's up, G2K? Oh, shit. and shaman Holy shit. you get flooded We're getting flooded.
03:04:21
Speaker
G2K with the Niners gear. What? I'll wait for them. I've been down since, right? Hey, I'm not down with that Niners game shit. I'm a baseball for fucking since 1984, man. Come on now. Yeah, bro. We'll see you here in a few weeks. I'm a Cleveland Browns fan.
03:04:39
Speaker
I can't wait till Miles Garrett adds Brock Purdy to the graveyard. His team matches his underwear. We'll see how it goes. What about you wearing underwear? Wait, who's wearing underwear?
03:04:52
Speaker
I thought this was underwear-free Saturday night. Yeah, this is pantsless. Oh, shit. I gotta to go take mine off. I didn't even get the memo. draft You didn't fax me over the information. Damn it, Blake. It's always pantsless Saturday. I forgot to include me on the memo about it being pantless.
03:05:13
Speaker
yeah there was i didn't even get it I didn't even get it. He didn't send the email. Now I got to take my fucking pants off. Jesus. That's what I was thinking. and like you just This is a process. to get well Careful. It's cold down there. so do you ever well It wouldn't be any different than normal for me anyways. Don't worry about it. um do you ever did You ever seen Aaron the Loco when he streams and he's like he wants to box people he's like, take your shirt off.
03:05:36
Speaker
And he's talking to Dr. Disrespect and they're going to box in Cod. And he's like, Disrespect, take your shirt off. Take it. He takes his fucking shirt off. And he's sitting there on his live stream with his shirt on looking to box on Call of Duty. It's fucking hysterical.
03:05:50
Speaker
Aaron the Loco is so funny. That's when he gets into the bad weed. He's the one that sings in Call of Duty. Yeah, he's like English or something. He sings. yeah he's like english or something who sings But then he likes to box people so he'd be like, Doctor Disrespect, you owe me a reimagined me. Take your shirt off and fight me like a mace.
03:06:10
Speaker
Meat heads. That's you. hey While you're speaking into your fake meat stick. okay That's what the head of it does is goes in the meat.
03:06:24
Speaker
It's what
03:06:28
Speaker
it is. Did you say it Akron? Okay. I'm going to head out of here because you guys have a full panel. I'm going to show up and heckle the fuck out of Brittany. Whatever, Brittany. Do you leave because I came, Brittany? Is that what's going on?
03:06:46
Speaker
That's what exactly happened. It's because her mic's not plugged in. Yeah, it's because her mic's not plugged in. Her mic's not Italian enough. Shaman, let's be honest. Most people do leave. Oh, really?
03:07:00
Speaker
Well, that would explain why there was nobody in the audience last night at my show. IG2K. Bitch, I was there. hu I wasn't. I was.
03:07:11
Speaker
Damn it, Rick. You should have been there. Barely. you yeah Usually, Shaman comes, I throw him a towel, tell him to clean himself off, and then I grab the money and leave. Wait, I mean, wait. Hold on i second.
03:07:22
Speaker
they people They let people show up and then take over the show and then they walk away while we talk. thing whodash Shut your piehole, Brady. I was there the whole night. Nobody walked away.
03:07:38
Speaker
no you got you you had nobody Nobody walked away. I was the only one on there for a moment. I was like, what fuck? And you couldn't maintain the show?
03:07:49
Speaker
the show ah Yeah, but if you're going to carry a microphone like you're the fucking boss boss Cheers, babe Cheers God damn, I love Rick Rick, you need to come by and hang out on a Friday sometime Scott-O Maryland Hey Oh shit, it's Scott-O Hey boy, hey first and foremost yeah Shut the fuck up, Scott-O Drop the background down You know what I want to see ah Wait, wait. lo shadow You know we need.
03:08:23
Speaker
I love our background, by the way. I'm so glad it's not the Thanksgiving background. Why are you trying to be bum like me? it this? Maybe it's this? Oh, my God.
03:08:34
Speaker
Oh, shit. Nice. gonna show nice I Nice. You got to send me that. I want to see that beautiful face, and I want to see them nails, girl. Let me see them nails.
03:08:47
Speaker
i Leave my shadow alone, Rick. Is he the one that makes all her AI shit for the Sunday? Yeah. Yeah, that's me. um Look at them nails.
03:09:00
Speaker
He's the one makes you look Sven from Frozen, right? Oh, shit. little basic, but looking good. I like it. I like it. It's kind of dark orange, but and i like it looks pink.
03:09:13
Speaker
yeah I mean, come on. In all fairness, there ain't a goddamn thing about fucking Scotto. It's basic. Come on now. No. He's an OG for show. I don't even know him, so this is new to me.
03:09:28
Speaker
Rick, it's going to be okay. You can have nails like that. If you dream hard enough, you can have nails like Scotto, Rick. Listen, I thought my buddy Phil was the only grown-ass man I needed to put nails on, but now I know two.
03:09:40
Speaker
Congratulations. And I'm cool with it. You keep it up, man, and you'll know three one day. Don't stop believing.
03:09:52
Speaker
yeah You know what's even better is Phil's a Marine, too. He ate one too many crayons, I think. no No such thing. I was going to say, Modag will prove you wrong every time you bring that argument up. Don't bust my fucking dream up. no no you still and You know what he says? yeah um he switches Phil, how are you a Marine?
03:10:17
Speaker
And you are you. And he goes, what do you mean you are you? I said, Phil, you would take me home in heartbeat. He's like, I would. But that's because I preferred the pink crayon, so none of the other guys got him. And I laughed at him every fucking time he says that.
03:10:34
Speaker
I got this a good idea. Damn it, Mo. I almost yelled at Mo, dog. wait I was so fucking upset. Yeah, that's weird. I don't.
03:10:45
Speaker
See, this whole thing's a lie. We're all in the Matrix now. I'm not in the Matrix. I'm way too fat fit through the computer screen, bro. Oh, just wait. I don't know if we'll get to it in 2.2 seconds. You cannot fucking even breathe around. I am not fitting through a computer screen at all.
03:11:03
Speaker
why either I guarantee you he already has you right now. He has 38 pictures of you already. Yeah, you. Just by existing, he already has them.
03:11:14
Speaker
Hang on. Full screen, Scotto. Yeah, I haven't seen that one. Konichiwa. I dont you never like it sushi but i am again yeah i can't either ah used to like I I What do you mean to the term screen roll?
03:11:31
Speaker
wendy I just want to say kind of sad, Scott. I got invited to Thanksgiving, but I didn't get invited to the sushi fest. I'm just saying. What's up with that? Oh, that's an open invite. What are you talking about? I made this one first. This beard is just there to catch his tears. I said it was too much.
03:11:50
Speaker
Oh, my God. What the fuck? I'm pressing charges. I just want to know how the Asian people will feel about what you're doing to their culture and their food. But don't fucking matter because it's Scotto and it's OK. I mean, Scotto's just adding some seasoning.
03:12:07
Speaker
don't know how I feel about what I'm going to do. He wants to be drawn like one of the French girls. I'm going to make a new drink after this. yeah I'll be right. I'll be like one of your French girls. Beautiful. Beautiful.
03:12:24
Speaker
Oh, Scotty. Scotty, you got to get, like, the... You got a gay Rick up. You got to gay him up. Like, you did Sarge last week in the... Oh, my gosh. Why me? With the short shorts. I think I still have it in here.
03:12:39
Speaker
yeah This better it's better be the only fucking stream that shit shows up on, too. Just saying. Hey, got a funny one for you. I made one of Wendy and Megan, and they wanted to be Lauren and Shirley.
03:12:53
Speaker
so Nice.
03:12:58
Speaker
Tomato. Tomato. Oh, God. Oh, God. Vegemitis. Whatever. Vegemite? Gross. Next.
03:13:08
Speaker
She's an Aussie. One of them's an Aussie. Nasty. Doesn't matter. I agree. I still haven't figured out how to eat that and make it taste good. Supposedly the trick is you put a very thin fucking layer on.
03:13:22
Speaker
Yeah, supposed to put it on like toast like butter. Right. I just don't. It doesn't taste good plain. What makes it? Bread's not going to fix it. I agree. Bread doesn't have enough flavor to fix it.
03:13:37
Speaker
what huh wow that wow wow There it There it is. That but what should be a red stripe.
03:13:54
Speaker
I got no beef with the summer shandy from Leinen Kugel, mind.
03:14:00
Speaker
Yeah, summer shandy's good. man Oh, there she is. There she is with the mic. Hallelujah. hallelujah That's fantastic. Hashtag slore. Motherfucker is quicker than Jedi with his wife. I was going to say he is fast.
03:14:16
Speaker
That's what I'm saying He's real quick with it. oh That's great. That's what I said. i'll be sitting well be We'll be sitting here doing this show, and my phone lights up, and I look over, and I see Scotto's name, I'm like, oh, Lord, what did he catch me doing this time? Scotto, were you looking earlier when I said what I said about you?
03:14:39
Speaker
ah I heard something about you better get the fuck up, dude. That's the only part I heard. Well, no, no. It was after that, I think. I said something along the lines of, I'm going to sit here and talk like this and not in my mouth so the motherfucker can't make another meme on me.
03:14:54
Speaker
I could just have to AI change your lips, sir. That's true. That's true. Yeah, we were. Rick and I were doing this show Sunday, last Sunday. going to grab a beer. I'll be back. I got a message from Scott. od He said, what team are you wearing? I said, the Browns. And it wasn't even two minutes later.
03:15:11
Speaker
Boom, boom. I got both of those pictures that he sent. And i was like, oh, shit, Rick. We're not done yet. I got to bring these up. This is crazy. I thought it was the Browns, but I had to ask. Because if I put you in the wrong shirt, you're going to be fucking pissed. You know? hook get over and now's ah Browns win, by the way, with Shador Sanders.
03:15:31
Speaker
No, they love punts. Here we go again. I'm going to go get a fucking drink. got a dog. Yeah, she doesn't want to be around the football conversation. Meatheads.
03:15:42
Speaker
Yeah, fucking meatheads. She's got a pocket to send her window to throw it out of when it comes to football right now. Shut the fuck know both my teams lost. She can't even jump ship to be a fucking Chiefs fan because they lost Yeah, too bad we couldn't meat and cheese heads, huh
03:16:02
Speaker
huh? Mmm. That was lame. Don't you just... I'm like that Brit taggy. Two Ts, a n y A-N-Y. Brittany.
03:16:14
Speaker
Are there any brits? I didn't know there was a Brittany. I'm talking to you, bish.
03:16:22
Speaker
It's Brittany, bitch. It's Brittany, bitch. I'd show you. Never mind. Show me what? Her knees, duh.
03:16:34
Speaker
My tattoo? My tattoo? I don't have my ID right here. can touch a god across my chest. That doesn't mean I'm god.
03:16:47
Speaker
i gotta drive home tomorrow. Why? Because it's Sunday. oh yeah. Sundays good days to drive home. valid. I mean that's a hell of an answer. I usually drive home on Sundays, too. Well, I fucking worked the whole goddamn time I was here, too, so whatever.
03:17:10
Speaker
Why did you work the whole time you were there? Because this thing never fucking leaves me alone. yeah I was excited. I found out I didn't have to work Friday, and I told my boss. so I was like, I'll be in town, eight right but don't text me.
03:17:22
Speaker
i I was like, I'll be in town if you need me. And he was like, He's like, I think I can handle it. I'm like, oh are you sure? Speaking of that, guess what I don't have tonight? The red line is the best thing I can see all weekend long.
03:17:36
Speaker
Work? The red line means I'm not receiving calls. What else you have tonight? A bedtime. Ooh, you got tomorrow off?
03:17:47
Speaker
Yes, sir. Hell yeah, son. Yeah, son. He's hiding, though. He just has his lizard sitting there. Oh, well, Shabba never comes up on camera. He's in Witsick.
03:18:01
Speaker
Yep. I'm not his real name. ex is a but now jump qui Yeah, My question is, where the fuck's Brian been?
03:18:13
Speaker
Brian been up here in a hot-ass minute. the He's just been on the Snapchat, that's all. Did you get some snackies? Thank you. feel a bit better He feels strong. Oh my goodness. Look at the muscles. So strong. Stop it, Glick. Oh my god. the way Clearly, like he makes Glicks look so much better than the rest of ours. He does. Wow. we could You know why, Brittany? Because Skydo loves me. So suck it. Just because somebody fucking loves me, don't be mean to them, all right?
03:18:52
Speaker
I'm so nice to Kaylee. Who the fuck is Kaylee? Kayla. Who the fuck is Kayla?
03:19:03
Speaker
fucking hate you. Look like and hate yeah like at me. I'm Brittany. Go birds. Moe Doll called my girlfriend whose name is Kayla.
03:19:18
Speaker
Kaylee. And it's just kind of stuck. And he's fucked everybody up to the point that I got in trouble the other night. Oh, wow.
03:19:29
Speaker
ah Yeah, Kayla. Kaylee. Kaylee, yeah, yeah, yeah. Kayla is asleep. We're talking about Kaylee. She's awake now. Oh, she is?
03:19:40
Speaker
yeah We're all getting confused. What's up, Kayla? I don't know which one's the real one, which one's the big one, whatever. She's dead.
03:19:50
Speaker
she She gave me the bro's up. Yeah, she's she's was in her defense. She's eating the snacky snacks. so Is that what you're calling it, D.K.? You little freak?
03:20:01
Speaker
Yeah. She's under the desk. Your little snack. Wait, like aren't you her snack? I was thinking the same Jedi. think in the He said little snack. She got tired of the TikToks. She got tired of the TikToks and was wanting something bigger. had give her a mouthful of but You just said little snack.
03:20:25
Speaker
Pequeno. Pequeno. Jersey, I'm more than a little senile. She smoked and she got the munchies. A lot senile. Munchies.
03:20:38
Speaker
munchia man I need to go. Damn right I'm your snacky snack. What the fuck just happened?
03:20:48
Speaker
If you're going to talk about football, I swear to God.
03:20:56
Speaker
I need to get out of here. It's getting late. Wait, who's throwing up? It's not that late, Brittany. If la if you keep disappearing...
03:21:08
Speaker
I've never disappeared. You just can't see me because I'm so transparent. here goes back milk maybe his dog doesn' His dog doesn't like lizards.
03:21:25
Speaker
dog is lost a little thats that's what i said that's a little she said slarges my snack man let me look at back Get a fucking room, y'all. it comes Shut up, Mrs. Blankia. Shut the fuck up. now bra bri brand That motherfucker, look, he wasn not he wasn't panel two minutes and the bitch was showing her passport like, see, I got it. I got it. I got it. so because I want to be her fucking daddy.
03:22:01
Speaker
so I'm ready to go to Italia. Spaghetti is my favorite food. I'll be there in a minute. I got Olive Garden on the town. Long live Olive Garden. Long live Olive Garden.
03:22:12
Speaker
like pizza and pasta and carabas. I do want to go to Italy, but that's not like my first choice. Never ending pasta and salad. Let's go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, never ending breadsticks.
03:22:24
Speaker
Blonky was like, well, I got a girlfriend. I was like, no, you got two now. right And then Scotto popped in with girlfriend. Boo. he's funny, no. He have the dad bod. That dude has been up on this panel before.
03:22:41
Speaker
hey yeah the dad bob that dude that dude has ah dude has been up on this panel before And he's cool as hell. Don't give me your own life. He's cool hell. reminded you of that. You didn't even remember him.
03:22:53
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I don't believe he's an actual guy. How do you fucking forget it? I don't either. didn't sound Italian. He sounded German. It's a character. He sounded German. 100%. I was still getting fake vibes.
03:23:09
Speaker
yeah it' I still got a little bit of fake vibes. He's super cool. He's a super cool guy. But I know that he's been up on panel before because I got him to break. John Lennon. I got him to break once. Did he break bad?
03:23:24
Speaker
He did kind of look like John Lennon. Wow, Jedi, wow. That was the glasses. That's right. He broke back. we But I hit him with a... He needs something coming for him. I would have got him to break immediately. I hit him with a couple facts, man. He knew what time it was by looking at his watch real quick. Who's getting a house in this seat, Jers?
03:23:51
Speaker
We're thinking about doing that. It's cold here, don't do it. Somebody can know the time just by looking watch. You are in white trash trailer park tourist hell.
03:24:05
Speaker
I'm sitting in a fucking Three Diamond Resort So suck a dick You're sitting in a snow bitch Welcome to the trailer park Hold on Francis Is it snowing where you are?
03:24:20
Speaker
I don't know. Then shut the fuck up because you're sitting where it's snowing and I'm not. I don't know it's snowing or not here, but at the end of the day... Rick, man. You're going to wake up to six inches of snow tomorrow. blame the snow on Rick. It's to be snowing while yeah? I'm from the trees, you that shit happens too I mean, I lived down there for over 10 years, or um or a little over 10 years. in this pan this guy you ready You ready for this fun fact?
03:24:58
Speaker
It snows so little in Georgia. Pensacola, Florida got more snow than Georgia did last year. damn. Brittany, do the arm thing. like Last year, you guys got like an eighth of an inch of snow and had to shut down everything. You're just jealous that I didn't have to go to work and you didn't.
03:25:19
Speaker
Britney, please. who There we go. Could you imagine if it um you imagine if it's snowed in South Florida? People would run outside with straws thinking it's like cocaine everywhere.
03:25:35
Speaker
You already have the nails for it, Scott. Just getting brain-free snow. I'm not doing anything anymore.
03:25:44
Speaker
Let me tell you something. If it snowed in San Francisco, we wouldn't have to worry about population control anymore. You're right. You're right. That motherfucker would be offing himself faster than Portland.
03:25:56
Speaker
Yeah, there'd be so many accidents on the road, too. Oh, it'd be crazy. Portland, for the first time, would not be the top of the suicide list in the country. Miami would hit it. nuclear their woman Canceled.
03:26:08
Speaker
twice least I think we need to be cancelled twice after this one. On the live and pew pews, Rick. and Come on. Calm your tits, bro. Fuck your PC. johnman Fucking YouTube. Fucking YouTube and their rules. You claimed your woman.
03:26:28
Speaker
Who claimed their woman? Modoc.
03:26:34
Speaker
i'm not I'm just trying to claim my lottery ticket. It's not all about Kayla. It's not all about Kayla, man. I'm just trying to claim my lottery ticket. That's a legit question. i i don't damn it shall i get one of now you but that was two weeks in a row that mo dog was like fucking bowed up and it was like hey i think it's time to calm the fuck down you know i think it's adorable that mo dog and jersey act like teenagers it's fucking adorable yeah better ah crush sixty to six sixty s the new you know
03:27:07
Speaker
6'7". You guys don't have to rub it in our faces with how happy you are. I'm teenage kids, bro. Fuck you. I hear all day long, bro. Fuck your I'm going to punch the first 67-year-old in the face when I see him. My son says back to him now. Somebody will say it. My son will look him Seven three six blow they're all Ford motors and they they're So confused they don't have a fucking clue I would have been confused to didn't even realize that was part the song Oh Francis Francis
03:27:46
Speaker
was seven five have three i say one one a more ya i didn't even realize that was part of the song oh frans frans Auburn's in position to tie the game with Alabama in the fourth quarter. right You guys have a great night. you you are Shut the fuck up and stay around for the great night, Brittany. I just want to go. you're we're turning I'm Just go.
03:28:18
Speaker
I'm not Italian enough to come at you,
03:28:33
Speaker
come at me oh i come i'm not italian enough to come at you brittany not even funny It was hysterical. Brittany said Brittany. Don't us. Hey, chaon Tulane is beating Chattanooga 27 to nothing.
03:28:56
Speaker
I thought Tulane was playing Charlotte. Where did Scotto go? I don't know. Maybe they are playing. I fucking remember him. Leave it up, Scotto. I didn't see it. She'll be race quitting in a minute. Anyway. I don't know if you want me whine. was just saying goodbye and he said I'm whining. Okay. Oh, damn.
03:29:22
Speaker
Just say goodbye. yeah It's just becoming too much. She's the queen of the long goodbye. Brett. I'm not going to bed. just becoming too much. Sorry. This is the longest goodbye ever. Wait, who's coming too much?
03:29:41
Speaker
I'm not going to be back. We'll see. I need a break. You're going to break.
03:29:51
Speaker
Break me off a piece of that Kit Kat Mars. Jersey said, why't allowed be jabb me I don't have any Kit Kat Mars.
03:30:00
Speaker
We like to share happiness. We remove ourselves from all the dramatic places and just choose the... Yes, Jersey. Jersey. so Happy and good times, man. We don't do we don't do drama llamas around here no more. Life's too short for the bullshit.
03:30:14
Speaker
For the bullshit.
03:30:19
Speaker
What did kids you say miss me with that bullshit? Yeah, that's right. Okay. Miss me with that bullshit. Swirl. Swirl. soir head sure Ah, skeet skeet. Oh, wait. Wrong.
03:30:36
Speaker
and my bad Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. To the window. To the wall. Ah, skeet skeet, motherfucker. Did I get that right?
03:30:51
Speaker
I don't know. I only had my earbud in for half a minute. I just heard, come back to hear you yelling skeet skeet. You missed a second line from the window to the wall. I mean, that's the most important part, really.
03:31:04
Speaker
Yeah, really. Too many other places like to focus on negativity. It's refreshing to be in a place that is positive. Thank you, Jersey. Yeah, just being confused with HIV positive. Just saying. True. yeah here yeah any Any STD positivity is not good. that's yeah yeah I've heard some moron on a panel this week that said hemorrhoids were an STD. I might keep fucking them. Unless it's OPP.
03:31:35
Speaker
Well, I'm down with OPP. Yeah, you know me. Scotto, in your community, a hemorrhoid could be an STD. You're not wrong. yeah That's from the dickheads that you gave me a lot of thinking. He is not wrong. i stupid thing Way up, dude. Are you providing the penicillin? battery Are you providing the penicillin? I just need to know that. because The penicillin provider.
03:32:00
Speaker
Watch out. Huh. Might be a penis. Well, damn it. penis cell yeah and I fucked that up. Never mind. You done fucked it all up, man. Yeah, i was going to say. but injection of penis and I was going to give your mom a penis-cyllin shot. And then I just dad fucked it all I'll leave.
03:32:18
Speaker
You're going to see your way out, right? yeah It's this way, right? Sales canceled. cells canceled Stage exit left, bitch. Way up, hottie.
03:32:31
Speaker
Hold on. He's got to go like this. Your other left. Your other left. Yeah, you can do it backwards and run into the wall. It looks like David's getting too slow to me. Who the fuck is this way up dude hollering at my scotto?
03:32:47
Speaker
Oh, you know. Way up dude can holler at anybody he wants. Way up dude is cool. I'm just saying, bro. web dude's cool i'm just saying bro we du it Way dude is amazing.
03:33:01
Speaker
Maybe on other panels, but on this panel, Scotto's all mine. ah He's going to holler at your boy on panel in front of you. And you're going to thank him afterwards. If you're leaving Jedi unattended, I'm snatching his little ass You can have him. I don't care. Oh,
03:33:16
Speaker
I don't wallard that shit out. What's going on around here? it's It's all lowercase wallard. I was going to say, there's still there's no room left.
03:33:27
Speaker
now rest me and Trust me. You're going to be like, what the hell did Glick do to you? i really yeah big big sling and last The last thing i remember is like does this smell like is sharing this carrying it something sharing is carrying let's it to the std and then you keep this shit to yourself Well, I mean, nope no, point no, no, this is a community. It's going to be a communal disease. oh Whoa.
03:34:05
Speaker
Whoa. Take a breath.
03:34:09
Speaker
and We did it with COVID. Okay. Do it with everything else. Jersey said anyone on the panel except for glicking my face.
03:34:20
Speaker
She
03:34:23
Speaker
said, I look out for my girl, Kayla. Yes, you gotta look for a girl. Kayla understands what Scotto and I have. Kayla's
03:34:35
Speaker
okay was like, you know what? All them bitches that try to get in yeah on your TikTok, fuck them bitches. Scotto is okay. still don't know who the I still don't know who the fuck Kayla is.
03:34:48
Speaker
Kayla's my girlfriend that you've been yelling at me about for not being a girlfriend. I didn't know what her name was, bro. i told you. like I don't know how many names were. I've slept since then.
03:35:03
Speaker
and great Are you okay? you acknowledge I'm just fine. I want to say before I dip out. wait i'll tell you that
03:35:13
Speaker
Please check out the New Year's Eve comedy show that Michael Nonsense. Michael Nonsense to go Nonsense. And Snotty.
03:35:27
Speaker
And the world winner of 2025 comedy is being the headliner. I'm opening. Y'all should buy some tickets and come up to Ohio. Brittany, what is the date? What is the date?
03:35:44
Speaker
New Year's Eve. I can tell you really planned that out. That's December 32nd. December 32nd. Why is my card going through? We're going to be roasting Glick. We're going to do that live. way All of you guys are going to be able to see in the comments and do all the fucking roasts that you can think of against that motherfucker.
03:36:10
Speaker
Just wanted to put that out there. Francis, if nobody calls you Francis, it's a failed night.
03:36:18
Speaker
Francis, nobody calls you Francis. Francis. How many times can you say Francis in one sentence? Where the fuck is Francis?
03:36:30
Speaker
I had to explain. Explaining why you call me Francis was like explaining to why my mom is Under under your seat. Trunk. She's in the trunk. why no well Now she is. She didn't used to be. Bye, Britt. Take care, your microphone to work on your delivery of that.
03:36:54
Speaker
i had to Wait. You called Glick Francis? Yeah. I've been told name since I met him. What's this going on? It was the same situation. it was like...
03:37:06
Speaker
um I gotta explain why my mom... I'm never calling you Glick again if your name is Francis. His real name is Francis. Is it? I'm so happy right now. I'm so happy. um um i think I think more of my favorite
03:37:30
Speaker
i don't think i've ever heard lazy that giddy in my life it glick I just see Francis up in the top left. That's what I had to say, Shaman. That's the giddiest I ever saw that motherfucker. That's the only word that came to mind was giddy. The left side of his face went numb when he said I think I had two strokes, one for each You know what, Rick? You're right. It's about to happen. It's about to happen.
03:38:04
Speaker
It's about to happen again. it's been it's been almost 10 years and it's about to happen again. this is the most accepting of it of the Francis situation. Lacey just got his first hard-on.
03:38:15
Speaker
that That's the thing you just learned that Glick's name is Francis. Every part of my body that can be hard is hard right now. He's Francis.
03:38:28
Speaker
You know what? Francis Ngannia was like a badass heavyweight in the UFC. Francis, Christina, Glick. Well, Francis Bacon. Francis Bacon, we all know who he is, right?
03:38:39
Speaker
Goddamn it, Rick. He's trying to kill me. i've never the Oh, fuck. I can't even breathe. know, man. Jedi, do you really want to know the whole the whole story behind the Francis? No, I want to be where it is right now forever. I just want to leave it where it is forever. Don't ruin it. Don't ruin it don't fuck it up for him. no in my life ri I know Thanksgiving was a few days ago, but this is what I'm most thankful for. This is what i'm most thankful for. Don't fuck it up for him. I'm good with it.
03:39:12
Speaker
There you go. there I'll make a map for something Dude, do you believe this? oh man You made Michael look like her pimp. Right? Yeah, a math-out pimp.
03:39:25
Speaker
He looks like a white trash pimp. Where's my money, bitch? Just came out of the trailer over there on E Street. Daddy needs new money for it fucking new shirt. You need a new bottle of E&J tonight. You better get of there make that money. You guys, I want to hear what Francis has to say about this. Oh my God.
03:39:49
Speaker
You're welcome. ah You're never living it down, Glick. I don't care. Your mom would be so proud that your government is coming into play with have six-pack abs from laughing. This is favorite day. In all the years of Rick calling me Francis, this the greatest moment of all time. Your mom would be so proud that we finally have you started using your government Did I read read that and smile? Is it Francis or is it Francois?
03:40:12
Speaker
Just let it be. Francis. Just let it be. Oh, God. as As the late, great Ringo Starr said, let it be. Let it be. I don't know if it was Ringo Starr. I think was John Lennon. He's dead, so we can give it to Ringo. Wait, he might be dead, too. Ringo never got any credit. I think he's still out there kicking somewhere.
03:40:38
Speaker
Then we can give him credit for that. No, the fuck you don't. I gotta to have them on Glickshouse Music. Yes, you do. Yeah, you need to find him, dude. I will tune in. Jedi will be there for that one.
03:40:53
Speaker
i will fucking be there. I don't forget their names so I can find them and have Twitter. You cannot forget their name. It's your the fuck are you going to forget the name, dude? Because, like, John Jacob, their name is your name, too.
03:41:05
Speaker
What are you going to forget? Don't call me? John Jingleheimer, Francis. That's my name, too. Whenever we go out, all the people shout, why the fuck is your name Francis? Jersey, look up their website right now and fucking put it in chat so so he don't forget it.
03:41:25
Speaker
Rick is a phrase already my favorite person on planet Earth. I am so right now. yeah This is the happiest I've ever seen Jedi. and and i can't I don't think I've ever been happier. yeah Even when my children were born.
03:41:42
Speaker
yeah You didn't name one of them Francis though, did you? No, I didn't fucking make that mistake. Damn. And he goes off camera.
03:41:53
Speaker
I've got 47 kids. This is the happy one. 47 kids and a Francis ain't one. Oh, there you go. She's got a link for you, man.
03:42:02
Speaker
oh there you goes she's got she got g lookck got us got a link for you man my god, you gotta send it to me. I can't. Here, I'll put it. I'll put it back. You want to put out your racism towards Francis's?
03:42:22
Speaker
for instance Is that what they pluralize Francis's? Yeah, that's how you pluralize it. I don't know that I've ever seen more than one Francis in a place. so Well, it's never really happened. If you get more than three, it's a France eye.
03:42:41
Speaker
Fucking Jedi's on fire. There you go, Glick. It's in the back chat, man. Oh, my God. Oh, God. I got to figure out how these... Oh, okay.
03:42:52
Speaker
They're probably punk rock, I bet.
03:42:57
Speaker
That totally needs a speech bubble about Francis Christina Glick. ah they're four way They're a full-ass band, too, man. Yeah, they are. on groundage
03:43:11
Speaker
and you know You know Homegirl's got a voice on her, too. I hope she's not mute. That would defeat the purpose, wouldn't it?
03:43:24
Speaker
Well, I can't hold on to that, baby. I can't hold on to that. yeah yeah yeah yeah she got little bit
03:43:40
Speaker
split get down with it you're holding the that phone slash camera, but I hope you dance and have fun while you're doing it. And I'd love to see this video after, because the video's gonna shake me. You're supposed to be safe. It's okay. Don't cut the show off, lady. I'm not a videographer. I'm not a videographer. I'm not videographer.
03:44:00
Speaker
I'm not a videographer. I'm not a videographer. Keep
Francis Jokes and Group Banter
03:44:04
Speaker
fucking up. I'm gonna call you Francis. Goddamn, they're a whole ass band, man. Yeah, they have a whole fucking everything.
03:44:14
Speaker
So, like, can I call you Fran for short? Yeah, I do. I'm just going to call him Fra. What about Franny?
03:44:25
Speaker
What's up, Fra?
03:44:33
Speaker
Don't you dare call me Franny, you son of a bitch. You think we're friends like that? You think you can just willy-nilly call me Franny? For what it's worth, like my dad's middle name was Francis. Your dad sounds like a great man. His middle name is Christina. He was a bad ass man. I thought we were fucking cool.
03:44:50
Speaker
I'm totally following that band now. Why does my face look like that? I just followed that band because I really want to watch it. You're being told lighten up Francis.
03:45:04
Speaker
Francis sounds like royalty. Are you royalty? Lighten up Francis. Oh my god it's fucking great. That is fantastic. scott you Wipe that fucking grin off your face I'm going gouge out your eyeballs and skullfuck you! got tired for a minute. Damn. alu a man Oh, Lord have mercy. You got to send that to me. Scott, you got to send me all that stuff tonight.
03:45:39
Speaker
All the pictures. Like Norman. I'll send you what you need. Scotter knows what you need. Yeah, Scotter does.
03:45:52
Speaker
I'm going to reach out to them. I want to have them on Glicks. Reach around to them. Reach to them. I'm totally following that band now on the Book of Faces. so i I dig but put that put that If you found him, put that link in the back chat for Francis.
03:46:13
Speaker
Digging him like smacks. I know you're not talking to me because I don't know how to do none of that shit. Way up, dude. We can call you all kinds of things, can't we? We just can't call you Francis. That's one of a kind.
03:46:25
Speaker
We can't call him Ray J either.
03:46:30
Speaker
Yeah. Oh my God. If you ever go to Las Perko vacation in If you ever go vacation in Paris, they're going call you Francois. That sounds... That sounds... And sexy.
03:46:45
Speaker
in school or vo Francois. I'll be like, yeah, that's what's up, bitches. That's right. Put some discussion on the name.
03:46:56
Speaker
Now paint me like one of your French horns. right man here Jersey hooked you up. Here's the Facebook page. It's in the back chat. The link to it. Back page. I'll open up another window. Back page.
03:47:12
Speaker
Perfect. Oh my god, what a hit. be I got it on the back side. Yeah, they got a full ass band, man. they got They got everything except a violin up on that stage, man.
03:47:27
Speaker
You got it. um on the bag yes mc we i'm done What are you going to explain to them why you want them to come on the show? It's nothing with their skill or anything. It's simply their name.
03:47:41
Speaker
perfect i mean they're I mean, they're actually really good, but ah yeah, also... So I have my big fat ass friend down in Atlanta. wait and he call me for Oh, no, we're not allowed to tell the story. one Why does it got to be a fat thing? You've already started. You've got to complete it we can we can't tell We can't tell the story why you call me Francis. No, you just got to let it happen. It'd be like telling little kids this.
03:48:04
Speaker
Because the German came to your house and you surrendered immediately? No, I'm not France. Jersey, have you seen him in person? I'm assuming you have since you said that.
03:48:21
Speaker
Ah, Scotto, you are the best. Yas, Queen, Yas.
03:48:32
Speaker
I love that. Nah, don't be pulling that shit, Shaman. You already said you don't have to go to bed early tonight. Yeah, sea you horrorre yes Shaman, Yeah, Shaman. You gotta to stay up for Francis. Yeah, Shaman. I didn't want to feel the fucking left out, so I just joined the party. Yeah, Shaman.
03:48:50
Speaker
yes yeah Yeah, Shaman. yeah know Yeah, yeah, yeah. you and you i know you got snacks in your pockets too, bro. Go, Shaman. it I mean, I don't know how you knew that, but... I'll say my first rodeo, buddy. Gotta bring snacks in rodeo.
03:49:13
Speaker
I like rodeos. I like rodeos. Hanging out with shaman is like dating a single bomb He always has snacks. Facts on facts, bro.
03:49:23
Speaker
Yeah, he has Francis. Snacks on snacks on snacks. Hold on, hold on. You ready? You ready for it? He's only got six or seven. Six seven!
03:49:39
Speaker
I hate you. Oh, my. I'm getting Jedi with that one again. God. Moe Dogg, I'm letting these assholes up on the panel. Do what?
03:49:50
Speaker
Who keeps letting these assholes up on the panel, Moe Dogg? I don't know. Fuck it. Brittany, then she bounces. Oh, yeah. Some pretty dickhead named Francis. How many times did Brittany leave? Like, six or seven?
03:50:05
Speaker
Six, seven, four, four.
03:50:11
Speaker
Six, seven. two Four, four. I don't even know what to do anymore. Have they started saying that yet, Jedi? Four, four. I hate it here. No, what's that? Is that a new thing?
03:50:23
Speaker
That's like indifferent. forty Four, four, four. Oh, fuck. I can't wait to tell my people. Seven. No, I'm part of Group 7, though. If you guys don't know about that, then you're not part of Group 7.
03:50:38
Speaker
Obviously. That's one less than Section 8, just so we're all clear.
03:50:46
Speaker
so its it's It's not a section, it's a group. okay I mean, it's close I was close. I mean, it's in the ballpark. This is really not helping my clicks. Not racist. Yeah.
03:50:59
Speaker
why you give Well, you know, I don't care how raised his glick is Francis is. Why did you take it there, Francis? said he can be white, Asian, it doesn't matter.
03:51:11
Speaker
Look, I mean... right He's not racist. He told me EBT stood for even Black's Triumph. So, I mean... um Okay, I've never heard that heard that before.
03:51:27
Speaker
It's fucking... Oh, God. It's as what Marta means in Atlanta. Oh, my God. I've never heard that before. It's fucking the best.
03:51:40
Speaker
Oh my god. that's but right now bardaos game four
03:51:49
Speaker
and oh my god that one hurt hurts so good hurts so good right francis
03:52:04
Speaker
i love the jedi loves the francis i swear to god shaman shaman you know jedi longer than i have no jedi but this is the happiest he has ever been since i've known i don't think i'll ever be this happy again That's probably about as happy as he's been here. Let me have my moment, ladies and gentlemen. Have your moment. I needed this. He's as happy as I was when he blacked out on my birthday.
03:52:32
Speaker
Shut the fuck up, Shaman. I've seen Shaman the happiest he's ever been on Jedi's birthday when Jedi wasn't on the panel. and i I know. The only time you've ever come on our show is when I wasn't there. Oh, shut up.
03:52:46
Speaker
I've been on your show. I don't look. I'm a big time celebrity. Uh-huh. I'm a big deal. So next week, I'm going to be slumming it next Friday night. i don't look i'm a big time celebrity ah but it's been is your first name i'm a big deal so next week i'm gonna be slumming it next friday night So after I get done slumming it with Michael, I guess I'll pop in and at least say hi to you guys on your panel. I don't know. When I do try to come on your panel, some asshole leaves me backstage for an hour and a half, and I'm just like, eh, fuck this guy.
03:53:24
Speaker
Probably somebody that's lazy. Yeah. I won't mention any names, but it rhymes with Jedi. That's rude. I'm only half listening to you guys.
03:53:36
Speaker
Yeah, imagine that. He's writing Francis in every different form of writing he can come up with. I'm literally going to learn how to do calligraphy just so I can write Francis fancy as it deserves to be written. You're half listening and like you half pay attention to your backstage on your own show on Friday nights.
03:53:55
Speaker
Jedi has to be reminded to just read his own chat, man. That's what I was going to say. You think he neglects the backstage. You should see what happens is to the fucking chat wall. There'll be whole-ass conversations going on in there. Jedi will have no fucking clue about it. Last time I paid attention to the chat, it got me in trouble, okay? I have literally been yelled at by Jedi for not coming up on his panel. And I was sitting backstage for like 45 minutes. And this motherfucker is yelling at I'm just like, I'm backstage. I can't put it in the comments. You can never trust a Frenchie. You can't trust a Frenchie named Francis. Hey, Jedi.
03:54:34
Speaker
Yeah? Yeah?
03:54:38
Speaker
I'm working on it. Oh, okay. All these people keep yelling at me. You know it's true, Jed. You left me backstage. You can't focus. You yelled at me for not coming up. First of all, that's a lie. Second of all, you belong backstage. I got yelled at and I was like, fuck it, I'm out.
03:54:59
Speaker
That's not even close to true. That's 100% accuracy. Oh, my God. You can't even spell it. You lying whore. Ow. You lying whore. Ow. He might be correct. I don't know, but I don't think it's true. Jedi said, if it was, it wasn't intentional.
03:55:19
Speaker
I got to warm this up. I'm about to give Jedi the old what for. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. want to Don't blow on it. That cools it off. Shaman, protect me.
03:55:29
Speaker
think Keep blowing on it. Keep blowing on it. That looks perfect. That's exactly what it is. That's quick. Mr. Hollywood.
03:55:44
Speaker
you know On panel, he's just Glick, but on the red carpet, he is Francis. Oh, my God. my My arms will be so sexy tonight. Yo, yo, Scotto, you need to change that black suit top to a fucking brand new dress flannel.
03:55:57
Speaker
Just saying. yeah Dude, that's a good picture. you got to send me those. God, man. Oh, my God. This is great. you know what's You know what? You could show that to other people and be like, yeah, there was this time I went to the ceremony and shit. say Yeah, I really could. scott They would believe it. They would believe it. Scott loves me so much. Scott, I love you. You're the best.
03:56:19
Speaker
One of those signs needs to read Francis, not Gleick.
03:56:25
Speaker
Hey, are the tats on the arms, are those accurate? ah know but i ok I know, but I Because that would have been even more fucking amazing if they were. they put a name tag Put a name tag on him. Hello, my name is Francis.
03:56:41
Speaker
Yes. I love it. The great thing about it is is I get to see what my arms are going to look like when I finish the sleeves. And I'm not mad at it. Hell yeah.
03:56:52
Speaker
I'm digging it. moility You know what the true great part about tonight is? Like this this is how much I have on this one. And this is where I'm at on this one.
03:57:05
Speaker
The true greatest part about tonight is that everybody finally learned your name is actually Francis. And it's been the trend all night long. At least for the last 45 minutes.
03:57:17
Speaker
Hashtag Francis. Yeah, buddy. i've I've done a great job for the last four years on this podcast of keeping that secret. and You fucked it all up tonight, man. You know what? don't care.
03:57:31
Speaker
you know You want me to come up more Saturdays, you fucking chode? I do want you to come up more Saturdays, Richard. But, no, look, look, you know what? a lot of a lot of terrible, horrible things have been said about me, and I've been accused of doing a lot of terrible, horrible things, and at the end of the day, they're all lies, but the only truth that has come out of all those things is... We still don't know where Francis is. my My slave name is Francis. There you go. Francis is a ho. He said my slave name is Francis.
03:58:06
Speaker
What's your name, boy? Francis. I'm Francis. What's your real name, boy? That's what we were hoping. Bend over, please. What's going on, Remy? Oh, my goodness. hated you. Remy-o?
03:58:21
Speaker
What's going on? this oh my goodness this is i updated to you remmiel Remy.
03:58:31
Speaker
he he holds our brain cell because we share a brain cell and he has custody most the time because I'm not equipped a brain cell. You know he dropped that shit on the floor the other day, right? The brain cell?
03:58:43
Speaker
Yeah. Like three times. Five second rule though. this was ago and we We figured it out. Whose brain cell does he have? Because mine's been wandering for a long time.
03:58:54
Speaker
And Remy, lost if you can gain control of that, let me know.
03:59:02
Speaker
You guys each own 33% of Oh, there you go, you go. See, now it feels natural, right?
03:59:15
Speaker
That's a lot more accurate. Yeah, that that's that's that's pretty goddamn spot on. And he's got the side of the back of the Sims, for instance. Yes!
03:59:27
Speaker
yeah ah This is the best thing I've seen all day. there and I've seen three people get arrested and a dead body be taken out of a resort. And that picture still is the best thing I've seen all day.
03:59:43
Speaker
I'm just saying, Scott, I hope you know, like, I use i use the pictures that you send, and we give you all the props in the world, man. facts, big facts.
03:59:58
Speaker
i saw i saw a shout out and i made a comment on there you saw thank you i i bet i've been using them when i'm uploading when i'm uploading shows i've been using them man they're amazing we used them on we used them on the sports show yeah oh that's what saying we were talking earlier scott i was always watching we have to be on our best behavior we can't fucking slip up because scott was always watching and the moment you decided to deep throw it a 12 ounce bottle it's scatter but me grab yeah it's like It's like the movie with ah what was what was the movie with Jim Carrey in it where like he was the only one that wasn't in on it.
04:00:41
Speaker
no Oh, Truman Show. Yeah, Truman Show. we're we're We're all him. And Scotto is everybody else's control in the whole fucking universe. i just hang out.
04:00:54
Speaker
Like, hey. This is actually the first time I've ever met Scotto. Scotto's amazing. He's one of the coolest motherfuckers you'll ever meet. I don't doubt that.
04:01:05
Speaker
I see what he does. I see his fucking talent with some... He missed his calling, man. He's in finance. He needs to be doing like marketing and fucking... Well, AI wasn't out like 40 years ago. So what you're saying is he's got an OF and he's an accountant is what you just told me. I get yelled at every Saturday night because every Saturday, Scotto comes up and they're like, Glick, you automatically go gay once Scotto comes up here. Why? Because fucking love Scotto.
04:01:32
Speaker
Listen, man. What's his name? Scotto Giuseppe. And this is how Scotto and I spent Thanksgiving. He stuffed my turkey. with the raiders With Raiders gear on. There was a lot of butter in that stuffing pan.
04:01:49
Speaker
Hello. Hello. There was a lot in there. It was Frankie from Dean's turkey. Yeah, Scott said that in his defense, he said the reason that he put the Raiders stuff on me was because I was raiding his turkey.
04:02:08
Speaker
Oh, shit. Raiding turkey cavity. That actually makes sense. You were Max Crosby stacking him, is what you're telling me. I mean... That actually makes sense.
04:02:24
Speaker
hasag Hashtag Francis. Make a few dollars if you show the video. specific 20 bucks is 20 bucks, man. you had to sold shit You know where you have to subscribe at, Shaman?
04:02:38
Speaker
You want to see the video? You know what it is? go You don't have to pay, motherfucker. We don't do this. Gotta to get that only thing going. Let's go. yes It's OF, which is only Francis, by the way.
04:02:51
Speaker
ah who Are you drinking water? Huh? Did you take a swallow of water? No, I'm drinking... No, he's swallowing, but it's not water.
04:03:06
Speaker
Scotto juice. Those are good. Yeah, like me some Tracy and Kelsey sponsored. have you tried Have you tried the emergency drinking beer? I haven't even heard of it. What is that?
04:03:19
Speaker
Mo, have you seen that emergency drinking beer?
Sports Fandom and Spontaneous Laughter
04:03:22
Speaker
No. Oh my god, you guys live under fucking rocks. Yeah, a little bit. Not untrue. that By the way, you made a remark about South Myrtle, but three resorts up from where I'm at right now, they took three people out in handcuffs and a dead body earlier.
04:03:39
Speaker
Calm down, bro. verymerable who That doesn't surprise me. Myrtle Beach. Murder was the case that they gave me. pe a drink is here tony know oh it's crap there yeah It's made by Avondale Estates out of Georgia.
04:03:58
Speaker
It's actually a really good beer. Yeah, I've never heard of it. I had to look for it sea and Thank you for getting that reference. You're welcome. you have a They have a peach blend and sorry sir a watermelon blend also.
04:04:15
Speaker
And the real fans go all out and build a fucking case in their house and just keep going. Oh, I love me the watermelon, man. I was getting ready to say the watermelon. It sounds racist.
04:04:27
Speaker
Well, you are. It is from Atlanta, which is the self-proclaimed black Mecca of the United States. i we you know what Those are Rick's words, not my words. Don't anybody? ah no no no no no No, no, no, no, no. Those are words that aired on WSB TV channel, too.
04:04:46
Speaker
g clickck like his Glick is worried about his channel being struck down tonight like four times already. give A darker-complected gentleman on the news declared Atlanta the self-proclaimed black mecca. one one thing one One thing I've learned about this network and this channel and this this show is we're Teflon.
04:05:07
Speaker
We're Teflon Don. We're untouchables. I like the Mafia reference. However... however now murder a winner A wiener grab will get in trouble, though. However, sometimes people get in their feelings and they like to twist and manipulate words and try to make them my words when they're not. So I have to add hobby-outs out there to say, those are not my words.
04:05:36
Speaker
Don't twist and turn them. You know? What is it that Beckham says the views on this show are not necessarily expressed by blah, blah, blah? The opinions of this show are not necessarily the views and the opinions of the nonsensical network.
04:05:54
Speaker
Yep. And those people who can who do like to manipulate my words, you can only be watching on fake accounts because your real accounts are blocked. Thanks for watching.
04:06:06
Speaker
Love ya! Bunch of fakers. Losers. You can tell you make it, homie. Make it until you make it. Hey, man, that's what the Cleveland Browns been doing for the last 84 years. I'm right there with you, man.
04:06:25
Speaker
Fucking Dingle, same fucking way, man. uhu I taught my fucking granddaughter did like the other day. i was i told her, because she's a Bengals fan. said, there's a term you need to learn to to learn learn to come to grips with, and that term is, it's okay, it's a building year. you know i there you just went on a phone I taught my son, who who has decided that he's a Cleveland Browns fan, and I questioned him. I said, are you sure?
04:06:53
Speaker
You're still young enough. And I told him, I said, remember are lines of words. There's always next year. I feel that deep in the deepest parts of my soul being a Bills fan too. Fakey Fakerton.
04:07:14
Speaker
yeah Norwide. Fuck off, Glick. where the between play At least we're not paying eight quarterbacks. Who the fuck is Glick, first of all? I don't know.
04:07:26
Speaker
Some fake dude named Francis. At least we're not paying eight quarterbacks. My deepest, darkest secret came out tonight. I kept it hid for four years, and then it came out tonight.
04:07:41
Speaker
It was longer than that because... we what happened have a way of making men come out. slam. Let's go. god i love Scott O'Dowd. He's amazing.
04:08:00
Speaker
got some de I get yelled at every Saturday because how much I love this motherfucker. I think they're just jealous. It's great. fuck You need to start doing your nails, Click. You need start doing your nails, man.
04:08:13
Speaker
Again, I don't know that name. I feel like, I don't know if could like, my shit don't work. I can't properly, like, You don't have those naturally broken wrists that gay men have, you know? Look at the flick of that wrist. I do this. But you can do this. That's what Skydo normally does.
04:08:32
Speaker
He normally throws his hand up this way. Skydo does this. He shows off his nails and his pimp hands. like the two That's a twofer. Twofer one special.
04:08:49
Speaker
I'll be right back. yeah Remy, can I make this one for you? This is both of you fighting over your brain cell. Oh, no. Remy wins every time. Well, the thing is is, we're fighting to hand it over to the other person, so we're actually trying to pass the brain pill off. I look like Dennis the Menace. Yeah. I
04:09:14
Speaker
i love it. It's absolutely amazing.
04:09:20
Speaker
I should have some that... Yeah, I do have some that... Hey, Mr. Wimbledon!
04:09:28
Speaker
and see if can pull some of those up
04:09:33
Speaker
up. Here's a cute one for you, Remy. um Wendy and Megan invited me to make them into like a duo, so I made them at into Laverne and Shirley. Holy fucking shit. I love it.
04:09:50
Speaker
To be honest, if Francis hadn't emerged, this would be the best part of my night. true
04:09:58
Speaker
I love it. Oh, I was going to bring it in. Scott, ah you didn't know your second wife worked on the bottling line. Come on. I'm going to have to go back and stick a glove in my bottle, so it's like the opening credits. Yeah, yeah, they got the glove on there. Yep. If
04:10:17
Speaker
you're old enough to know, you know.
04:10:21
Speaker
From the future. Wow.
04:10:31
Speaker
So there's that. have We're having a moment of silence for Francis. Why did he die? For Francis. so
04:10:43
Speaker
I mean, he didn't, but his pride did. Are we okay? Wait, what? what glick is ah is Is Kayla like like sick or is she like Yeah, she just found out his name is inconsolable.
04:11:01
Speaker
She's devastated that his real name is Francis, too. She's packing her shit right now and leaving. I can't do this with a Francis. How could you not tell me your name it is Francis? Is she like sick, like flu sick, or like party sick?
04:11:17
Speaker
Moe Dogg, apparently you're not the only one that's now single tonight. No, it was... I feel bad, fuck face. No, no, no. Trust me, I told her... You're the hero of this story, Frank. You can't be sad. Oh my god, he's about to fucking punt.
04:11:37
Speaker
she knows that she knows the francis story uh no she uh it's been a uh it's been a ah weekend for her um so her anxiety and everything has been up so we got back from my brosters today and and she just kind of crashed so we're okay cool just needed some downtime yeah she's she um well resty like ailey give her an edible but
04:12:04
Speaker
inevitableable she's got her we she's She's got her weed pen. she yeah Give her an edible. fuck it Give her 500 space calories. That's sound advice. she's she's good It will mellow her out. 500 space calories is going to make her part of the bed. Who are you kidding? She's an astronaut. Sorry, Kayla. Jersey said she's on her way.
04:12:29
Speaker
She's got you. yeah ah There you go, baby. i don't know if you can hear me, but Jersey's on her way. Scissors, sisters. Pow, pow, pow, pow.
04:12:42
Speaker
You don't even know, Rick. You ain't been here. We got scissors. Listen, you know what's worse than then two lesbians? jar What the fuck is it? Why lesbians don't run with scissors?
04:13:00
Speaker
Or why they do run with scissors. Because they're more than scissors with the runs. Oh, Jesus. Oh, god I mean, it was ah it was a long journey to get there. And you fucked it up twice, but you pulled it out. Hold on Hold the fuck on.
04:13:17
Speaker
I started drinking at 3.30 today to celebrate Ohio State beating that team up north. Trust me, the one thing it doesn't do is pull out.
04:13:27
Speaker
My kids are less than a year apart in age. They're the same age for a month. My pull-out game sucks. Yeah, they're Irish twins. I'm trucking every parking spot just practice when I pull out of the parking spot. I got you, Pete. I got three fuckers. Which one did you name Francis? The next one. Junior. junior i just i just want you to know Rick's son. What?
04:13:52
Speaker
rick stu why is named after me it's it's white francis how do spell that wi-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-t
04:14:12
Speaker
oh look at him hogging all the vowels i've i've known rick's kids since they were little the first time i was the first time they popped up i was like wow And that's the only thing I can call that kid by. Literally, if we're playing Call of Duty together and I say, hey, Wyatt, that fucker won't even answer him.
04:14:32
Speaker
He won't acknowledge me. Yeah, Wyatt and... and and Because he's a self-respecting American. He's not going to answer to a Frenchie. You shut your default ass up. Shut your whore mouth up.
04:14:50
Speaker
You know what? You couldn't customize me hard enough to be French, Francis. I couldn't. I'm going to customize you so hard, Jedi. You have no idea.
04:15:02
Speaker
Do I got to pay extra or is that just built into the original? Well, you have to pay extra, but our viewers have to pay extra. That's true. You got to go to OF.com, which is OnlyFrancis.com. OnlyFrancis.com.
04:15:15
Speaker
it shooting pictures of him with no shirt on rubbing oil through his hair. jerking French fry oil. yeah It's just canola oil. Don't fool yourself. It's not baby oil. well he's To be fair, he's got those shirts where he's wearing nothing but the flannel too. so Jedi, we have to change our OnlyFans page. Now it has to be the lazy Francis OnlyFans. I know. It's so disruptive. And that does sound like a that does sound like an underachieving Frenchman.
04:15:49
Speaker
Just saying. It does. France <unk> so right to my bagot yeah yeah my bad guy yeah it it is not a big well simply for bar get ah home If your crusty, that's not a good sign.
04:16:11
Speaker
problem no you like the cream cheese on your bagette ah the cream cheese comes out of the bagette It's just one of the mini eclairs. He's lying. Wow. name a experience i agree with this I agree with the viewers. This is a pretty goddamn gay panel. and it's not because of Scotto for once. ah Scotto's the straightest thing about this panel.
04:16:39
Speaker
We don't keep shame here. yes and Yeah, currently Scotto is the straightest part of this panel right now. ah Scott is like, for the first time, I'm the strangest thing ever. And then he taps his nails together and it ruins the whole thing. If he does it three times, he goes back to Oz.
04:17:03
Speaker
he does if he does it If he does it for the lizard closes its legs and quit showing its balls. yeah yeah we do damage yeah the becking If he it for the end of backing Francis's closet. yeah I just got out of this closet a minute ago. What happened? I'm stuck here again.
04:17:27
Speaker
I wish God was in my closet. I'm just saying. Wait, what what? I mean, it'd be nice if he picked out your clothes for you. Oh, dude. You'd be the flyest looking motherfucker on the planet, Francisco. Something tells me Scott has has never been in the fucking closet. I feel like if he picked out Francis' clothes, he would actually fit his namesake. Scott wasn't even in the closet to get dressed.
04:17:55
Speaker
Every time somebody else says Francis fucking Jedi giggles like a little fucking sixth grade girl. It's the funniest thing that's ever happened. It's like a little kid that learned his first cuss word and he's saying his butthole all day long. Yeah, he's saying poop.
04:18:10
Speaker
Yeah. Mom, i said the F word. What'd you say? Poop. ah ah less funny than the brand. Jedi's F word is Francis. I love it. Rick knows. Fucking Rick knows.
04:18:26
Speaker
Jedi's new favorite word is Francis. I'm never saying the word Glick again after that. Jedi's kids are going to be so fucking confused. He's going to be like, get the Francis out of here. They're going to be like, what, dad? What the fuck are you talking about? What the fuck are you talking
04:18:45
Speaker
about? god Like they aren't confused now. Already. Never mind. Francis?
04:18:58
Speaker
you okay frances You got a headache? No. to grab beer. Are you disappointed in the Alabama win and Notre Dame dominating Stanford?
04:19:08
Speaker
No. oh You already know what I'm doing.
04:19:15
Speaker
Contemplating. Contemplating a new way to spell your name. The Y. You know, I bet he can't even spell Francis. That's the funny part. R-E-N-C Callface S Francis Francis Francis
04:19:34
Speaker
base ass frank is that's fra s francis
04:19:44
Speaker
What do you get your hands up? You're celebrating Ohio? Oh, H-I-O. I get it. and I'm celebrating too. No. You can't do You're holding up yellow paper.
04:19:56
Speaker
I was, but there's words there's words on it, but you can't see it. i i name i just The way i picture Francis spelling his own name. and the like piece of paper ah but it was It's blank. It's just that my sucks. obsessed to Just like and with us on the end but um r a d apost three threeads I'm trying to get up. something. My
04:20:31
Speaker
What are you doing? Celebrating fucking wrestling, Francis?
04:20:38
Speaker
you just put it i thought we had something scottta
04:20:45
Speaker
my god and done gottato is what are you doing celebrating fucking wrestling frans
04:20:53
Speaker
The damn goal is from you. Damn dirty Apes. Oh, no. Did they lose? 52-yard field goal attempt, and it was just. Dude, they needed that to be in the ACC championship. It was reminiscence of Norwein.
04:21:11
Speaker
Oh, they needed that to make the ACC championship, too. Yeah, they did. Because they lost in Miami 1. Now Miami's in. Wow, Britt. We'll bring your youth back up in here.
04:21:23
Speaker
Untrackable. Get up here, bro. Look at Francis is now France. That is one of my favorite Frenchies. Nothing but L's. Nothing but L's.
04:21:39
Speaker
It's like mustard. French's. French's. Dude, okay, so this is like 25 years ago. um i was hanging out with this guy who's Brazilian, and he and a bunch of his friends are watching the World Cup. It was Brazil versus France.
04:21:57
Speaker
France fucking won and beat fucking Brazil's ass. And these men were fucking crying for days, right? I thought they were being funny. thought they were being funny. So I made dinner one night. I had French fries. There was French just mustard on the table. I made French onion soup. Oh, my God. And then you weren't hanging out with the Brazilian guy anymore, were Yeah, they were so mad at me. yeah You were no longer welcome at World Cup games.
04:22:26
Speaker
Untrackable. Get up here and say hi. bra
04:22:32
Speaker
Do it, Untrackable. You dirty bitch.
04:22:38
Speaker
That's the Untrackable that I'm thinking of. He's pretty cool. oh Untrackable. Yeah. Untrackable is awesome. That's my guy, man. I ain't seen him in forever. And you can't figure out where he is because he's untrackable.
04:22:56
Speaker
I feel like I'm trying to play hates me now. I think he joined the We Hate Glick Club. Who's Glick? Everybody doesn't like Glick. We all like Francis. Yeah, we don't even know who that is.
04:23:06
Speaker
Who's Glick?
04:23:10
Speaker
Who is Glick? It doesn't even ring a bell. I don't even know who the fuck you're talking about. Who's Glick?
04:23:22
Speaker
Jedi has a couple more drinks and he's i'm not going to know who anybody is at this point. I saw how long that blink took. blink took a minute, didn't it?
04:23:32
Speaker
Who is a click? Every time I close my eyes, I just see Francis. Every time I close my eyes. What are you sipping on, Jedi? Jedi.
04:23:45
Speaker
Francis. No, I'm drinking vodka in seven. Oh, okay. At least it ain't straight vodka. was going to be like, what? No, no, no, no, no. I'm not. Are you a serial killer or what? Not crazy like Francis. Okay. Not yet. The night is still young. Give him time. It is. I'm going to later.
04:24:11
Speaker
No, I got... This will make Francis happy. After my Twisteds are gone, all I got is Miller Lite.
04:24:18
Speaker
Nice. I feel like I might have to order some more beer. I can't do that. i right You should probably do that.
04:24:28
Speaker
find it funny that you say that every stream. He does. I got to order more. I got to order more. We're going to need a bigger boat.
04:24:38
Speaker
Hold on, Francis. Who was here the night you ordered two 22-ouncers and got two cases? Yes! That's a story.
04:24:50
Speaker
That was a story. He was like, I need to order beer. So he ordered two 22 ounce Miller Lite and the bitch showed up with two 24 packs of Miller Lite and he only paid for your 22 ounce. That's the dream. That's the fucking dream. That is the dream.
04:25:11
Speaker
He invited him to stay and drink and there he was like, what the fuck just happened? Look, I ain't saying shit, son. I had a dream.
04:25:23
Speaker
going back back boy i ain't said shit. my My cousin Charlie, his middle name is Francis as well. But his first name is... Our condolences to him. Yes.
04:25:37
Speaker
See, Reby's got the brain cell. So that's Charles Francis. And this is Francis Christina.
04:25:47
Speaker
Oh? Oh my god. i think I think we should still call quick... We should call him Christina Francis, too. It's even funnier.
04:25:58
Speaker
Why would you put his middle name in front of his first name, dope? Francis Christina. I like it. It sounds better. I don't know what's going on anymore. i just know that i just know that. I've been friends with some motherfucker named Francis for a long time, and I didn't even know. Rick, I'm ordering...
04:26:20
Speaker
You should have to put a sign in your yard if your name Francis. What are you ordering? I'm going to order three tall and older i'm gonna order three tall boys We'll see what shows up. I swear to God, if three cases of beer show here. There's no fucking way that's happening twice. If you don't sign for it as Francis, I'm never speaking do you again.
04:26:45
Speaker
I can sign for it as Francis. The last time I ordered beer on DoorDash, I swear to Christ, and I'm not making fun of them, I'm not making fun of these people. He makes fun of Christ. At least his name isn't Francis. Don't let anybody in. No, no, no. The last time I ordered a beer, I swear to God, this autistic chick showed up.
04:27:11
Speaker
Oh, God. My porch light wasn't bright enough for her to scan my ID. And I was like, well, just like step right like just right inside the door. That way you can scan my ID.
04:27:27
Speaker
And she looked at me like I was fucking Ted Bundy. Yeah, weirdo. I don't blame her. well it With a name like Francis Glick, I would look at you the same way. And to her off defense, I was like,
04:27:41
Speaker
It's not like I'm going to lock you in a cage and murder you. And that's the first thing she thought about when you said the things you weren't going to do. Hold on. Don't forget the fact that he was in his tighty-whities, too. so Also, yeah so i had I had to go find a flashlight because she would not leave my porch. So I had not a flashlight, a flashlight.
04:28:04
Speaker
You were attached to your flashlight at the time? This got done doing sweating with the oldies. He was huffing and puffing, answering the fucking door in his underwear.
04:28:16
Speaker
His fucking tighty-whities. Sweat just glistening through his chest hairs. I'm not going to lock you in a cage. Not going to rake you. As funny as that is, it makes me want to throw up. Wait, am I Richard Simmons or Jeffrey Dahmer? I don't know what's happening here. You're a little bit above. Francis Glick.
04:28:37
Speaker
I'm just Francis, baby. the middle between the two Who's that? Oh my god. Sorry about that. and Internet exploded. Let's go. Welcome back, Remy.
04:28:50
Speaker
Welcome back, Remy. She gets those foreign names in her brain and she goes crazy. I don't know. How foreign is he? it it she gets those foreign names in her brain and she goes crazy i don't know when i don't know when is how foreign is he he's from He's from Idaho. He's not that foreign. Oh, I love potatoes.
04:29:14
Speaker
Potato, potato. What the fuck just happened? Wasn't he giving me my ball sack or something? That's like he's standing back. That's sad like he's doing me on a speed day. Oh, shit.
04:29:29
Speaker
Uncheckable. Come up here and say hi, bro. Norman's dog does not like French people. Britney's back. I came back to I came back to i Love Potatoes and somebody saying something about somebody's ballsack.
04:29:43
Speaker
The Italian guy, his name was ballsack or something, right? Oh, Blacchia? I don't fucking know. miss Mr. Britney? Mr. Britney. All those were jokes. Mr. Britney, if you're nasty.
04:29:56
Speaker
Mr. ah Britney. She had her passport ready to go. Apparently, I wasn't here for that part. dude He wasn't on panel three minutes and she was like, i got a passport. you know know It was the sunglasses that did it. John Lennon looking motherfucker. he did look like He did have a John Lennon look to him. He 28 fucking guitars in his room and asked him to play one. He's like, oh, I'm a drummer. Play one of those fenders for us.
04:30:26
Speaker
us hold on please i'll show you one of fingerers for us That's what I was saying. like are I had my sunglasses on when I bought my drum kit, so it turned out to be a guitar. where say was that night you can't you can't i so I still think he's playing a role.
04:30:41
Speaker
where He does a good job, though. He does a good job. He is close to it. MoDog, he 100% is. That's what I was saying. like He's been up on the panel several times, and I got him to break.
04:30:56
Speaker
I got him to break character on a couple of times. It sounded like he did a couple times tonight. Well, like you guys all called him out for sounding more Russian because he ah he didn't have the accent dialed in properly. Jersey Yeah, Jersey was typing Italian. And I'll be honest, he was he was reading the shit back like he was fluent in.
04:31:24
Speaker
I don't think he actually lives there.
04:31:28
Speaker
Are you going to be okay, Brittany? Are you heartbroken? Leave Brittany alone. My fucking heart, man. I can find an Italian. Playing games with my heart.
04:31:42
Speaker
She's like, I can find another Italian. It's all good. And honestly, I wasn't interested in him. Oh, okay. Okay, Britt. Here's my passport. You can just hold on to it. I'm not interested.
04:31:56
Speaker
What the Francis are you talking about? Yeah, what the Francis are you going on about, girl? let's say I have a friend in Italian. it really i'm so He's a server at Olive Garden. Same damn thing. I'm Italian. I'm a server at Olive Garden.
04:32:21
Speaker
He's like, I buttered my breadstick for you. I would not pass up on some Olive
04:32:31
Speaker
Garden. I had that the other day for the first time. It was fucking delicious. one Not for the first time. First time in a long time. first time long okay Okay, that makes more sense. yeah wait well first time ipha virginic s search Olive Garden, which isn't real Italian, but it's as fucking close as we got here. Unless you're in a true Italian restaurant.
04:32:52
Speaker
which I don't have any around here. i I went to one. I got taken when I went to, uh, when I went to Vegas for the waste expo, uh, one of our vendors took me out for, uh, like a business lunch thing. And we went to an old school Italian restaurant. It was actually mafia owned.
04:33:08
Speaker
It's the longest Italian restaurant in Vegas. Uh, I bet that was amazing. Dude, that shit was fucking the best Italian I've ever eaten. your fucking dick in the dirt that I've had.
04:33:19
Speaker
Yeah, honestly, probably probably the first real Italian I had was a couple weeks ago up in Boston for my fucking brother's funeral, man. Because they're all fucking Italians up there, man. It was fucking delicious, man.
04:33:31
Speaker
You get two people and bomb in Boston, you get Italians or you get Irish. Take your pick. Yeah. Right. What was his name? Who? My brother? The first real Italian you Oh. Oh, I get it now. Oh, my God. Brittany got one. Good day, Brittany.
04:33:45
Speaker
who my brother mean you had the first real italian you had oh but else oh i get it now oh my god brity got one oh good yeah
04:34:04
Speaker
Snorting and cocks. Here she comes. Give her her sticker. I like dogs. Wait, who let the dogs out? for that was That was good, Glick. That was good. seriously she said What was her name?
04:34:20
Speaker
I've never seen Johnny's mouth Scotto, you're out of control. You know need to put like a dick coming out of his hand going up to his nose. It's not very often Scotto makes me look bad, but even when he makes me look bad, it's awesome.
04:34:43
Speaker
yeah Italian food is just I just smoked too I'm like a little slower than normal Would you calm the fuck down you what do you da you got a bit slower than normal You would stop in your tracks What'd you do Britney Just step away calm down decide to come back Yes um I ate a shit ton of food o And smoked And smoked. That's what said. And she said, I'm a little slower than normal. Any slower, you're going to stop.
04:35:18
Speaker
little bit backwards. Is reverse a thing? What? okay Stop, calibrate, and listen. Brittany's back with a brand new edition. What shit ton of food did you eat? well I bet it was Italian, wasn't it? ah Well, there were noodles involved. Yeah, it was Italian. It's cold.
04:35:38
Speaker
She was slurping it like Blanquia.
04:35:45
Speaker
That's how I do. That's how I do.
04:35:50
Speaker
No, it's like this really yummy mac and cheese with four different cheeses with pulled pork on top of that. Were any of them Parmigiano or Reggiano? Maybe.
04:36:02
Speaker
Who the fuck is Reggie? and why is it so dark and Why is it so dark in your room, man? What the fuck? I don't know. Reggie's there. Reggie's there. You won't see him.
04:36:18
Speaker
Right below the screen. like We keep hearing something going. la la i love well He's just trying to finish the noodles in the bowl. no he's He's giving her the extra cream sauce.
04:36:30
Speaker
I have that under control. I already ate it
04:36:38
Speaker
i already ate it all. It's all good. Hey, Shaman, yeah guess what? and Peanut butter and jelly. Peanut butter jelly time. Peanut butter jelly time. I was going to say, it's not that time. And since Brittany fucked hers up, it's all you. What?
04:36:54
Speaker
What?
04:36:57
Speaker
Wait, did you say you had noodles, mac and cheese, and fucking pepper peanut butter and jelly? You heard I was squaring. Oh, my God, dude. Talk about gut rot. And you've been smoking and drinking? Oh, yeah, you're throwing the fuck up in a little bit.
04:37:10
Speaker
Yeah, I'm good. You better tuck your hair in your beanie because there's nobody there to hold it because Blockia's in Italy. do the water Broccoli? Broccoli's in Italia. rockccoli's been it italiania with it No, I'm Irish and German, so I got this under control. I'm mostly German. I still got so drunk I threw up before it happens.
04:37:34
Speaker
I'm 100% alcoholic, so I got this under their control. wait That was another thing, too. You got to point the other way. not on my screen. I'm pointing right at you on my screen. You got to point it the other way for the panel.
04:37:49
Speaker
Yeah, the opposite side. There we go. Yeah, but if I do that, I'm pointing a MoDog on my screen. What the fuck? yeah that's That's kind of weird because it is so not that way the rest the world. yeah i I quit pointing to people just for that reason. bri yeah i was fuck The second time around, you poke Francis in his butthole.
04:38:09
Speaker
really it was Not the first time. just like a but I mean, what? I didn't say that. yeah dos much like Much like the last time, I didn't feel anything, rich so it's not gay.
04:38:25
Speaker
that I took my socks off. so i mean if If you don't feel it, that's a well-used fucking hole, Francis. Well, no, it's because he's got a huge anti-factor. He's the vice president and co-founder of TPG.
04:38:39
Speaker
All right, fair enough. Francis is president, COO.
04:38:45
Speaker
i'm not ceo I'm not just the owner. i'm a client. I heard you did. It was good. yeah i like that Thank you, MoDog. We can't even say gang, gang, bang, bang because neither one of us can bang with a tiny pecker. You can't bang with this gang. It's more like a small pop.
04:39:06
Speaker
beautiful You guys will be smacking bellies and your belly buttons will be making that sound. Yeah, you could be a lollipop gang. That's so gross and so funny, Modag. Wait, is that is that my lint or is that yours? I don't know. they got they just trying na All doing is trying to touch tips.
04:39:27
Speaker
yeah Tits or tips? What if they get suctioned together at the belly button and can't leave each other? Yeah. You gotta slide a credit card in between them and shit. Try to fucking pop the seal and break them away. back so up try chip should do on i'm i'm making myself throw up my mouth a little bit. shut up.
04:39:51
Speaker
you're the one that's gotta taste it not us ah godamm You started this. I know. Like I tell Brittany every Saturday night. right Don't open the door unless you're looking a wedding. It's the sushi coming off of glass. Calm down, Chet. I gotta damn it got do it.
04:40:13
Speaker
Was it the slide to credit card they got you or the little pop sound it's going to make when they separate? We don't need to rewind that it. It's the whole thing. was just the credit card thing on show fight.
04:40:24
Speaker
I think he killed Jedi. Oh, fuck. I'm dying. I can't breathe. yeah Well, we can't have Jedi just be giddy all fucking night. Not even hide. This is usually how I am when I have a gummy, but I'm fucking not. had to ruin it for It's just too funny. We got Francis. We got fucking belly button suction together with credit cards to separate them. There's too much to deal with. Untrackable. Get your ass up here, man.
04:40:50
Speaker
I've been telling him. I've been telling him. Uncheck him. Get your ass over here. ain't seen him in a hot minute. Last time I saw him, he was he confessed about like sitting in his garage and jerking off to Britney's feet pics. That's been a hot Shaman.
04:41:13
Speaker
i wore sunglasses and i pulled my laser nuts is getting off on britney's feet you your feet and was like yeah whenever i'm just walking in the bar and then i said wasn't even barked it was back on trail It wasn't even a park. It was a kiddie pulling a trailer park.
04:41:31
Speaker
She was on a nature walk. It was just a puddle. I want all of you to be aware of the fact that... was sitting in pond, but she was smoking, so was a nature walk. I just want you all to be aware of the fact that she didn't deny the fact that it happened, and she corrected me that it was in the wrong place.
04:41:53
Speaker
Yeah, somebody way took pictures of me and then told me that they liked feet. sent them to Shaman and Shaman's a happy man. Wait, what? On Trackable said he's still doing that. so Come on up, tell us about it, man. You're welcome, Shaman. Okay, show the pictures then, Shaman. You won't.
04:42:15
Speaker
Hey, hey. Those are fucking money. Show me the DNA evidence. I'll tell you that. I'll send it to you for a small fee.
04:42:25
Speaker
Break out the black lights, Kato. You had to pay for your own feet, Picks, Brick.
04:42:32
Speaker
I didn't know the dude was in the feet until after. I labeled the email for shaman's eyes only. Lizard eyes only. Lizard eyes only. is that Is that a typo or is Untrackable calling you Brickney now? She's all all Oh
04:43:05
Speaker
I feel like I came back at a weird moment. Let's What the fuck just happened there? my god, I this. Kiss me. I can't. I can't reach your mouth.
04:43:20
Speaker
Oh my god. That's fucking hilarious. God damn Scott. Dude, you need to start a company on the side, man. he's never people People in corporate America... spot Corporate America would pay for this shit, man, for their bosses. Oh, yeah. Send me all these. That is the new unnecessary roughness fucking thumbnail moving forward every Sunday. ah I dare you. I fucking dare you, man. Send me all the pictures, Scott, next Sunday. He needs to put me to new one. No, he needs to put you guys topless when a credit card is sticking out between you two. You ever pulled a muscle from laughing too hard?
04:44:10
Speaker
Holy shit. No, but I pulled a muscle. You need to do a pretty great game infractions for football, Scott. That'd be great. have a different muscle, Shaman. when we When Rick is back next Sunday, that is going to thumbnail on YouTube for a message. I don't know.
04:44:29
Speaker
know like nothing any ah All your watchers that have no clue will be like, what the fuck is going on here, man? i But you know what? Those that know, they know.
04:44:42
Speaker
If you know, you know. you know, you know. you know, you know. you know, you know. you know, you know. If you know, you know. If you know, you know, and you probably blow. yeah but if you don't know, you still don't.
04:44:55
Speaker
If if you know if you don't know, who now you know. if you know, you wish you didn't know. can't say the rest of that line. I'll probably wear it. We'll edit it out later. Spoiler alert. We'll figure it out in post-production.
04:45:15
Speaker
Oh, Scott, I love you so much. You are so goddamn amazing. I'm sure Shaman was going to hold my back on that. If you don't know, now you know. Simon's too busy pulling a muscle.
04:45:29
Speaker
yeah some be pinks He's too green to say the N-word. I'll check y'all in a few minutes.
04:45:39
Speaker
continuing mentioning them i'll check y'all in a few minutes it will be I'll be back. Alright, man. Take care. I'm going to suction his belly button to somebody else. He's got something to do. Suction eight belly buttons? Brittany looks like she's at a ditty party right now. Brittany, did you see Untrackable's comment like ten minutes ago?
04:46:04
Speaker
Yeah. Brittany and the lights off is so hot. Yeah. It's better when the lights are off. Untrackable, get your ass up here, man.
04:46:16
Speaker
It would have been funnier if he said it on screen. person. much a Bitch. Bitch. He's been in the comments like how many times we keep telling him to come in here. Well, Scott has said an hour ago he had six pack abs from laughing so hard. That motherfucker's got to be buff as shit right now. Bro, I got nine pack abs right now. gone Nine. just i can't even I can't even breathe.
04:46:42
Speaker
yeah He's got an extra one in the middle. yeah Some people call that a hernia, but whatever. I think that's... i got hernia. It's not muscle. It's just like my body is falling against me.
04:47:00
Speaker
Some people call him the space cowboy. Some call him the hernia of love. yeah Damn it, Robbie. You're hurting my hernias. I'm hurting my hernia. for Hernias. have multiple. I have multiple hernias. Where the hell did Rick go? the Son of a bitch.
04:47:22
Speaker
I'm just sending picture in. So when your bellies are touching, do the tips touch? Oh, yeah. No, the bellies are bigger than the the things, so they can't touch it, even if they wanted to. not even mostly cloth They were trying to touch tips. They couldn't lean back that far. It hurt their back. So they just kissed and said, cute.
04:47:49
Speaker
Oh my God, Scott. Here it comes. shirtless's breaking a credit card What do we got? What do we got? scott What do we got?
04:47:59
Speaker
good dos gotta do it do yeah You know, that's what he's doing when he's getting quiet. because he's concentrating on the art. He's fucking creating. Yeah, exactly. That's the scares. It's gotta get quiet. That's what magic really happens.
04:48:15
Speaker
Show it. Dude, dude, just gotta... Man, I gotta live in Man, it's There you go. Bye.
04:48:28
Speaker
yeah i Welcome to everybody's nightmare.
04:48:41
Speaker
i can't even look at it good belly buts um welcome to everybody's nightmare It looks like your beards are about ready to arm wrestle. I don't know why why Rick left the veil, but I sent him both of those pictures. shadow He's like, I ain't even mad. We were fucking choking death, man.
04:49:06
Speaker
Were those belly buttons French kissing or was that just a pop kiss? That's not a tongue. That's the lint from each their belly buttons. They braid their beards together. It's like entering the lintrap on the dryer.
04:49:20
Speaker
Again, Scott is like, I'm not your monkey to poke with a stick, damn it. Pay me. Or maybe not with a stick, but you know. Not a stick, just a glick. Because Francis has a glick. It was an Italian Blanquia.
04:49:37
Speaker
This Glick belongs to two people. Kayla and Skydope. Oh, motherfucker. I've just been demoted to being your bro.
04:49:49
Speaker
Wow. And I'm okay with that. I'm okay with that. it's it's oh I just got friend-zoned by Francis. I know, right? I got friend-zoned.
04:50:01
Speaker
Friend Zone by Francis. Francis Zone. Let's go. Francis Zone. Remy, I love it. That's fantastic. i
04:50:16
Speaker
That's why he's my co-host, ladies and gentlemen. Hopefully on the teds yellow friend zone until he comes up here and we go gay bar hopping together. We're going to go gay bar hopping and drink Franzia's.
04:50:28
Speaker
all and That's a drink still, isn't it? Francia? Oh, shit. That's cool. yeah you i was wondering if they were picking up and it did. It's not you anyways.
04:50:45
Speaker
You can't hide, Brittany. See, Scotto figured it out. That's why you're in the dark. You thought you'd be hiding. yeah that you'd be hiding Nope. Can't hide from Scotto. Based on Scotto's profile, Brittany, you look like you'd be really good at hacky sack.
04:50:59
Speaker
Your picture looks like she's about to pick her nose with her ring finger, though. i don't know how i feel about that. I don't either. That's a weird finger to choose. like pulled up Pull it back up, Scotty.
04:51:16
Speaker
Full screen. We're getting serious. No, I missed the... Oh, it does look like she's picking her nose. Alright. He looks like he's about to put two in there.
04:51:28
Speaker
Maybe one in the stink. Whoa, hey. Watch out. I know he's going to make fun out of this.
04:51:39
Speaker
Oh, you know he is. Oh, Brittany, you're flipping us off. He's a clipping motherfucker right now, man. Brittany is just posing. She's posing. That could be the poster for your comedy show, man.
04:51:51
Speaker
Stop making me look like Actually, he has sent me one that I think I might Did he though? Yeah, because has the microphone in my hand. Well, if you use it for that, you got a pain. Yeah, but the only picture you should use for your comedy is this
04:52:18
Speaker
one. You should drop down on stage and squat at the end of your session and do that, Britt. yeah yeah fuck good yeah My name is Brittany I'm gonna tell you jokes yeah yeah Fuck off hey a tracker will say Pick your nose with your thumb it will help you next time all It's all fun and games We make fun of Francis But they all make fun of me okay um said oh don't care okay I
04:52:54
Speaker
What the fuck is she doing? At least show my face. just Whoever kidnapped Shaman, can you please let him out of the tunnel? For real, it sounds like... So we can understand him. Is this better?
04:53:10
Speaker
There we go. Thank you. Thank you, Kidnapper. It's amazing how when you get your get your head out between your dog's fucking thighs, we can hear you, man. ah Sorry.
04:53:22
Speaker
um much I don't know what kind of what kind of dogs do you have, seriously, because those motherfuckers, when they bark, they sound big as shit, man. Chihuahua. There ain't no fucking Chihuahua. Shut up. They're Chihuahuas that I didn't have five.
04:53:35
Speaker
they're chihuahuas that identify say it's ah It's a German Pomeranian. Pomeranian. is that what is that where it really is joseph chey oh who was a german Oh my fucking god. did get you. I did. I knew it. I fucking knew it. If it was a German Pomeranian, it would this. No, he was nice. He took the fingertips out of your fucking nostrils. He was nice to you.
04:54:05
Speaker
Come on, Michael. Hurry up already. You're the slowest doordasher of all time. I don't really care. One of my old profile pictures is me literally doing this. like I took a family picture the other night like that.
04:54:20
Speaker
Because you're a hilarious comedian. Hey, she's a professional. You leave her alone. I was i was giving her a compliment.
04:54:32
Speaker
Thank you. how sugar I was he being condescending. I know, but you're still crooked to have my music guana balls He said, don't get it twisted. I was being condescending.
04:54:45
Speaker
Yeah, I know. You fucking asshat. I'm going
04:54:53
Speaker
to kill it. yeah ah you You are going to kill it. You're going to be the best comedian. i so Man, I so bad want to make it up there. I'm going to try my damnedest to make it, man.
04:55:04
Speaker
dude make it wait We only give you shit because you give a lot of shit out. So you got to take a lot of shit. and have to buy a ticket mod You got to be a fucking diaper sometime. Oh, yeah, I do. Michael already told me.
04:55:14
Speaker
He already told me. He said he he'd only charge me 30 bucks. and Then I heard him over to weekend or a couple nights ago talking about tickets were 30 bucks. I was like, fuck you, dude. That's funny because he's only charging me 15.
04:55:28
Speaker
First and foremost, no, you don't. You and Jersey don't have to buy tickets. ah You'll be my plus... Three and four. oop three three and four yeah seven Six, seven.
04:55:39
Speaker
Six, seven. Why are you trying to hold off the mic? Towards us comedians. We need to make money, man. well that Brittany's texting Glick like, shut the fuck up, dude.
04:55:51
Speaker
I don't know about comedians. Charge that motherfucker three times. He gives me too much shit on panel. I watch i watch your ha-ha hump days, wind days, whatever the hell you guys, hump day ha-has and I don't find the comedians.
04:56:08
Speaker
Wow I'm just playing, Brittany I had to look for that one on this side of the microphone And all you do is go on your computer And read a bunch of fucking shit You don't know what you're talking about Come on, Brittany You know he can't fucking read Stop it, stop Yeah, come on, Brittany What the hell is that supposed to be? I don't read I watch and I listen Everybody else was at the Reading is Fun van. Glick was at the Pictures are Fun van. Yeah, it was.
04:56:37
Speaker
He was at the opposite end of the Reading rainbow. Let's just put it that way. And then I met Moe Dogg, and I was at the complete other end of the playground just eating the crowns. Just us in the corner, just by ourselves. Fucking crayon drool down our chin and shit.
04:56:54
Speaker
Like, there. Okay, Scotto's quiet. He's creating something. I can only imagine what he's coming up with. got a feeling your microphone's going to be up your nose in a minute, man. I don't have it. i was going to bring it out, but. Scotto's up to some shit.
04:57:10
Speaker
Yeah, when he gets quiet, that's when I get scared. I'm so scared right now. He gets quiet, and I start thinking, fuck, what did I do? What facial expression was I making? Thank you, Remy. Thank you for coming up, man. I appreciate you. Cheers to you, brother.
04:57:22
Speaker
Remy. I'll see you again. Remy. Litigators.
04:57:28
Speaker
Appreciate you.
04:57:31
Speaker
Oh, Lord. do need to go soon as well. ah Rick will be back. his His mom called
04:57:40
Speaker
um momy Was she watching the panel? And she's like, why are you hanging out these fucking bullies? Why are you putting your belly up against this other hand? do you and Glick look like the offspring of Burt Croucher? Oh my god, that's so fucking spot on, dude.
04:58:01
Speaker
That's spot on. Glick's standing with his hands on his hips like, I'm the machine, motherfucker. I'm going to post that picture up on on on Instagram and I will tag Burt Kreischer in that.
04:58:17
Speaker
think I If you don't know who Burt Kreischer is, the machine won't make any sense. If you don't know who Burt Kreischer is, you don't know anything about comedy. I just realized my dog has ADHD. He's the one takes the shirt off all the time.
04:58:32
Speaker
Yep. It's also fucking hilarious. Have you heard his whole spiel about the machine, though? If you haven't, go watch it. It's hilarious. It's so good. if To this day, I don't know if it's a skit. I think it may have fucking happened in real life, actually. I believe it.
04:58:49
Speaker
It's 100% a true story. Oh, is it really? Okay. Yeah, he was there. He suctioned belly buttons with him first. No, so the... no so the right yeah the radio station I listen to out of Tampa.
04:59:05
Speaker
um The morning show, the host and Bert Kreischer are like best friends. They've known each other forever before Bert blew up. Bert has come on there multiple times and he's like, this is 100% God's honest truth. I can see it.
04:59:23
Speaker
um But yeah, Rick and I are the love The long lost love childs of love children of Burt Kreischer. Okay. So the movie Van Wilder was based off him, according to. Based off of who?
04:59:43
Speaker
Ryan Reynolds? ah for Ryan Reynolds. That movie. Burt Kreischer. Like he talks about it a lot. He's like, yeah, they made a movie about me. we're slacking away No, before Burt Kreischer was a famous comedian, he got put in a um magazine for being the number one party guy.
05:00:00
Speaker
at where college you went to And he went to he went to college for like seven to eight years and I think maybe got a degree. that he was and wilder Van Wilder was kind of loosely based on him.
05:00:14
Speaker
Kreischer, he went to FSU. He's from Tampa. um But he also he also tells a story and about how he was like the founding members of Crete.
05:00:27
Speaker
And I guess that's 100% true too. but No fucking way. No fucking way. not that the The members of Crete are like, no, he fucking didn't. like That's got to be bullshit. He believes that. No, I don't think it's true. ju The members of Crete say, no, that's not true. He talked it into reality in his head.
05:00:47
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. He claimed it in a podcast. and Someone trying to be more excited. ah Oh my gosh, Scotto, you are the fucking best, dude. I love that so much. i won come Everything is
05:01:06
Speaker
I sold my soul to the devil. He wanted a refund after I shit in the pool. yeah Oh, Look at that. i go I know. Yeah, we already showed that earlier. oh and what's your What's your running rate for that, Scotta? That's $599, right? If you're using it for you know commercial purposes, you've got to I'll just hook you up with one of the bartenders at the bar.
Bartender Tales and Aspirations with Bert Kreischer
05:01:33
Speaker
oh I need a bartender then it's And it's up to you to convert him. I got to know a lot of the bartenders that night because I was waiting for Michael to come back from their pictures and shit. Because you got fucking dumped in a hotel. Oh, that too. yeah I was going to say it, but yeah.
05:01:53
Speaker
If you know, you know. If you know, you know. Knowing is half the battle.
05:02:02
Speaker
Just like a reading. Words are hard. rainbow Okay, hey, everybody, much love, but I have to head out of here.
05:02:14
Speaker
yeah I'm going to be dipping here shortly. Not right now, but shortly. I'm going to dip as soon as somebody slides up. I'm mad at you. How did you even get the side profiles to actually look like that? Oh, there's Bert in the background. I see yeah in that you got You can see the enthusiasm in his eyes, too. yeah
05:02:45
Speaker
I want to do an unnecessary roughness promo, and I want to tag Bert Kreischer in that. Because I'll be 100% honest with you. That's not too far-fetched. Only Rick Tate Kelly is bigger than mine.
05:02:58
Speaker
Yeah. But that's not too far-fetched, and I want to tag Bert Kreischer. looks like Kreischer's saying... Credit card, bitches. Because yeah also at the end of the day, Christchurch. Oh, you know what? Scotto put a credit card in Bert's hand.
05:03:11
Speaker
He's coming to separate them. Oh, that would be the winning ticket. Hell yeah. You know what the great thing about it is? Scotto's like, Moto, fucking shut up. God damn. Bert is a huge sports fan.
05:03:25
Speaker
So if we can get Bert Kreischer to come up on Sunday for unnecessary reference. That would be awesome. That would be. That would be awesome. Your channel would blow up beyond repair. That'd be awesome for for you guys on panel in the and the four people watching. That would be fucking tremendous, man. There's eight people watching.
05:03:42
Speaker
That would be awesome if you would have some of the bands that... We'd go from eight to like 8,000. Yeah, you would blow up if he was on there. And you know what? i could I could see him being like, yeah, fuck that. I'll be on.
05:03:54
Speaker
I bet he would, too. That's the thing. if he actually get if you If it meets his eyes, he will be like, yeah, I want to go and do that. I think he would. And then you definitely owe Scott O's some money. Yeah, I'd have to suck dick. Oh, for You'd have twice. Well, goddamn, Glick. There was 45 other fucking options you could have came up with, but that's when you went straight to sucking his dick.
05:04:18
Speaker
Nah, he's looking for reasons to suck his dick at this point. I mean, I'm going to figure out. He doesn't even need the peanut butter. He doesn't even need the peanut butter. I would pay him money.
05:04:37
Speaker
And on that note, good night, y'all. Good night, Britt. She's taking her peanut butter and she's walking the fuck on. I already had my peanut butter, Julie.
05:04:51
Speaker
Just don't forget to scrape the rest of it off your body. Don't fall asleep. It'll be way too hard in the morning. You get a yeast infection. motor dog mode I do know. Okay.
05:05:03
Speaker
Good night. I hope I don't dream of the belly function. You will. You will. you ah You're about to have a rough one, Brittany. You will. What is, wait, today's Saturday? Yeah, you'll be in therapy Monday morning. no I'm going to church tomorrow to pray it away.
05:05:20
Speaker
and Pray it away. You can't pray it away. Just ask Scott.
05:05:26
Speaker
ah Okay, good night. ah Good night. wow wow You can't pray it away. Just ask Scotto. Sounds like Jedi needs another fucked up meme, Scotto. I'm just saying. Gay the pray away. Gay the pray away. I love it.
05:05:46
Speaker
See? Scotto's the goat. Oh my god, Scotto. You are the absolute... best You have no idea. I'm seriously putting that picture think he does, though. I think we all let him know enough. I'm putting that picture up on social media, and I'm tagging Bert Kreischer. I think i think he knows ah he knows he's appreciated. There you go. I think, anyway. I mean, I want to speak for you, Scotto.
05:06:07
Speaker
I mean, not just appreciated. Some of us kind of worship Scotto.
Community Life and HOA Humor
05:06:12
Speaker
Apparently, some people named Francis dream about sucking your dick. i mean just humble of us who He was talking about but he... really minscato. I mean, we all know. What's the job on your job?
05:06:23
Speaker
My corn. My corn name is Squirt Chrysler. Squirt Chrysler. Squirt Chrysler. it. I even keep up all that.
05:06:36
Speaker
God damn, Jedi. You're going to be so buff tomorrow when you take a shower. Oh, it's going to be amazing. My wife go be like honey come me look quick my life won't be able Look give my nine abs, baby. Look nine got nine.
05:06:47
Speaker
Well, I got eight and one in the chamber. You know what i mean? yeah Just don't look at my puckered butthole. Yeah.
05:06:56
Speaker
Four fingers in there. Damn, four? not like it It's not a I like even numbers, okay? Yeah, like nine.
05:07:07
Speaker
Like nine. ah Six, seven. Hello, T-Tender! T-Tender! I get so tired of seeing my grandkids do that. And they get so fucking excited when they say it, too. I know, that's the weird thing. Do you know the funny thing is, though? most They don't know what the fuck it means, man.
05:07:24
Speaker
A lot of people say it's demonic, man. lot of people say it's demonic. It probably is. It feels demonic when I say it. From Skrilla's song or some shit. Yeah, don't... Well, here's the thing, right? To be honest with you, like, back during the 2020 shit, like, Squid Games came out.
05:07:41
Speaker
And everybody was acting crazy around 2020. And then everybody was like, did you watch Squid Games? Did you watch Squid Games? And I was like, no, and I'm not going to. And i waited I waited so long because I thought, are they fucking programming people or some shit with that?
05:07:56
Speaker
And then, you know, you have an instance like this and maybe I'm not so crazy. No, you're definitely crazy. when that shit hit man I watched two episodes and I could not fucking get into it I was gonna say I watched exactly what I did I watched two episodes was like this is stupid as fuck man I couldn't get into it at all could watch it at all don't know in two days in four with me maybe I'm a kid you know you know Jersey you still awake if you are type yes in the chat yeah
05:08:34
Speaker
You need to go wake her up, bro. no Because i don't well I don't want to text her if she already crashed. would be even funnier just typed Right?
05:08:46
Speaker
Scott O. strikes again. types back, fuck you, you're single. But if she types no, you know she's awake. But she don't got time for your bullshit. Yeah, if she already crashed, I don't want to text her and wake her up.
05:09:00
Speaker
Which she may have. She had a long day. Make sure it's a dick pic.
05:09:08
Speaker
Send her a dick pic. Again? Again? They're a pussy pic. Surprising. Yeah, there you go It's so nice you gotta send it twice, bro. That's all I'm saying.
05:09:21
Speaker
um what did What did Michael say on the Thursday night funny ha-ha? Because Brittany was giving me shit. And Jedi about like how we haven't met in person yet. fucking Michael was like what you meet her and her dick's bigger than yours? I was like, what the fuck, man? I forgot about that.
05:09:42
Speaker
shit. Playing for it now? I'd be like, I didn't know. I didn't know.
05:09:51
Speaker
Scotto and Francis are up to something, man. I'm a little worried. I'm innocent. want to get a drink. I'm innocent. I wonder if he's picking up his delivery. We're not buying what you're selling, Scotto.
05:10:04
Speaker
You're going to meet Jersey in real life and be like, what the fuck? would They call me New Jersey. but So was it just Tallboys or did you get like a pallet this time?
05:10:16
Speaker
He's like making love to that can. I did not get a pallet of beers. I think i got one exactly. No, it was just his baby oil. It's fine. You didn't you didn't order one extra just in case?
05:10:28
Speaker
I ordered three. Thank you. Okay. And then I have... What are you drinking? What is that Tallboy? What is that?
05:10:37
Speaker
Why would you even ask? You already... Franzia? Oh, I thought it was Franzia. My bad. Franzia. I ordered... i got I got four more. I got four more garage beers, and then I ordered three Tallboys. Oh, I miss i missed living in a house so that I could have garage beers, man.
05:10:54
Speaker
I do miss that. I don't have a garage. It's an actual brand. It's called Garage Beer. Oh, I thought you were talking about a fridge out in the garage with nothing but alcohol and shit in it. yeah Dude, I have a condo. That's what I thought he meant. That makes the most sense to me. Garage Beer. It's like a natural freezer or refrigerator because it's cold. The Garage Beer that Jason Kelsey will get a garage beer right star like me and Travis Swift promote.
05:11:23
Speaker
Oh, well, that's that's why I've not heard about it. Oh, yeah. We don't we don't drink them Swifty beers in these parts, bro. maybe Shout out to Garage Beer because they're Ohio's own. So I support local... Local slurs?
05:11:38
Speaker
You said Garage Beer. I thought you were in a house and had a garage with a refrigerator out there. That's exactly what I thought. No, um'm ah um'm um ah I'm ah im ah um'm a racist who supports Stolen Valor.
05:11:49
Speaker
oh shit Calm down Francis So undignified of you I can't afford yeah i didn't that was That was all before my time man yeah no yeah he He tried to suck me and Jersey into the drama And I told her I was like Nope you text that motherfucker back tell him leave us the fuck out of it ye No so yeah now I will have a garage again I do enjoy me Quote unquote actual garage beers Gonna make garages great again Yeah.
05:12:18
Speaker
This is going to sound fucked up. You know, one of the biggest things I miss about being a homeowner, because obviously I'm in ah an apartment that's 50 fucking years old. but yeah I mean, that that fucking paneling and those cupboards back there damn near as old as I am,
05:12:31
Speaker
Like, cutting grass and shit. Like, I miss fucking cutting grass. I used to love cutting grass. Bro, you can definitely come cut my grass. I would. Dude, used to cut my grass and, like, I'd cut my grass and, like, six fucking neighbor's grass, like, every fucking Saturday morning. That was my that was my jam, man. i real even Even if I'm renting, I'm with you, Moe, don't. Even if I'm renting a house, which Kayla and have talked about...
05:12:56
Speaker
you know when we when we we you know um When I get out of here, in no position to buy a house anytime soon. So even when I leave here, going to rent a house.
05:13:07
Speaker
yeah we're gonna um um'm gonna rent a house But I can't wait to do your artwork again. Yeah, I fucking miss it so bad, dude. Oh, you guys are out your fucking minds. No, I miss it so bad. This is how we know you're out of your fucking mind. It's one of the few jobs you can do where you see, like, instant fucking gratification. And I was that motherfucker that, like, every week I would cut him at, like, a different line, a different angle and shit, you Bro, like,
05:13:33
Speaker
I'm going to come cut the summer. When I had my house down in Charleston, i'm granted I didn't have a yard. yeah Most of the is yeah Literally, my yard was all sand.
05:13:46
Speaker
like I had banana trees out back. so My banana trees looked amazing. Them sons of bitches were 15 foot tall. you could The great thing about having banana trees, I didn't know anything about banana trees.
05:14:00
Speaker
You can get three banana hammocks. I didn't even know there was that. I can teach you about bananas, baby. Real bananas. But what was great was like these sons of bitches were like 15 foot tall and they had these like six foot fucking... Yeah. i hell it Hell of shade, man.
05:14:17
Speaker
Yeah, man. and And I would sit out in my backyard and and my neighbor and I we would sit out there and and he would smoke and I would drink and we were in the shade and yeah rain and if it would rain while we were out there... Didn't even have to go in. and as Completely covered. and then Because it was so hot in the summer times, it would rain and we'd kind of get like a nice little cool mist of water. I miss it.
05:14:44
Speaker
I had that shit in South Carolina, man. I know exactly what you're talking about. My front area, we had some shrubbery and some flowers and stuff like that. love going yard work, man. I love that shit, man. Yeah, so do I. It's pretty complex.
05:15:00
Speaker
even Even if you work like 50, 60 hours a week and you get to come home and take care of the yard, I love it. you got the ah be And the hotter it was, the better, man. Like if i was out there sweating, I'd be out there sweating my ass off and fucking love it. And I would. like i Like I told my fucking neighbors after I cut their... It started out I had two elderly neighbors, I would cut their shit just because I'm a decent fucking human being, right? But then the other ones...
05:15:23
Speaker
We're like the same age as I was, you know, and which is, you know, at that time, like late 20s, early 30s. You're not wrong, Unjaggle. And I would tell them, like, dude, I'll cut your grass for you. and they're like, for real? I'm like, fuck yeah.
05:15:36
Speaker
So, yeah, I had like seven houses minus six others that I would cut every Saturday morning, man. so Front and back. Yeah, I didn't do, like, yard work for my neighbors, but being be the pest control guy, the orking guy, uh,
05:15:52
Speaker
i I did all the mosquito services for all my neighbors. So like on Saturdays, I would get up and I could hit all my neighbors, clock in for work, hit all these houses and be done by like 10, 11 o'clock in the morning.
05:16:10
Speaker
And then, yeah, grab my little mini cooler and come home and do york i do the fire beds and the yard work what little bit of yard work I had to do.
05:16:22
Speaker
and kick my garage open and fucking hang out. and let's Take care, Untrackable. Have good weekend, man. Yeah, have a good one. Untrackable, love you, brother. Appreciate you, man.
05:16:34
Speaker
Yeah, just kind of hang out the garage and whatever neighbors swung by, they swung by and we'd have cold ones. And the cool thing about it was being the organ man down there, I took care of quite a few breweries. So a lot of my breweries, when I would go do their services, they just hooked me up with free beer. Come on in. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, they hooked me up with free beer. So my garage fridge was always full of beer.
05:16:59
Speaker
always full of beer so when i lived with my when i lived i'll go ahead i thought you were done yeah no i would be like hey grab whatever you like in there man it's all local it's it's from right down the road do you know the guys we all know and the hell some of them even live in my neighborhood like yeah and just like yeah we'll grab grab a grab a seat let's hang out let's watch some football let's whatever just oh Yeah, man.
05:17:23
Speaker
Yeah, I miss that shit. I missed that i miss that. I miss the shit out of that. Yep. Nothing like the bond that you form with, like, as long as you got cool neighbors, you know, if they're a bunch of fucking dickwads, then, you know.
05:17:34
Speaker
But when i was when i was living with ah my ex, right, the girl was going to get married, I almost got married to after my my actual wife got a divorce. We lived in a nice neighborhood, and the guy that lived next door to us owned the biggest, like, garage installer place around here. They're called Overhead Door, right? oh yeah yeah i i thought I thought I was a semi-fucking bourbon aficionado.
05:17:58
Speaker
I moved in there and got to meet him and shit. You know, we'd be shooting the shit, and that became our fucking routine, like, on, like, Saturday mornings. Like, Saturday mornings. Like, eight in the fucking morning, you know? ah by the time 11 o'clock rolled around, we were both half fucking wasted and shit. Cause, cause this motherfucker is a bourbon aficionado. You know, he'd be breaking out the bottles of bourbon that were like 1200 bucks a bottle, 600 bucks a bottle. You know, I'm like, that's just the way I told him up front. I was like, dude, I can't pay you back for this shit. That's I ain't making that kind of fucking money. He was like, nah, man, it's just, this on me. This me and you. Cause I, I enjoy your friendship. I enjoy hanging out and shit, man. You know, like, so yeah, like in the summers, every fucking Saturday morning, man, you know,
05:18:38
Speaker
the only the only the only thing that The only time I wouldn't do it that early was like if, because she had younger kids, the girl was with, is if they had like 8 o'clock Saturday morning, you know, soccer game or something. Yeah. Then we'd just get together whenever, you know, soccer was done. and We got, you know, I got back home and shit.
05:18:52
Speaker
But yeah, we'd just sit there and just fucking chill and drink all the fucking expensive bourbons. And like, yeah I don't know if you guys are bourbon drinkers, but have you ever heard Pappy Van Winkle? It's not fucking cheap, you know?
05:19:05
Speaker
And there's different there's different years of it, right? Like, you can get, like, they make a Pappy 16, a Pappy 8, a Pappy 32, and those are all, you know different years that they've, like, you know, been fermenting, I guess, for lack of a better term.
05:19:19
Speaker
And this motherfucker would break out. I mean, like, some of these, if you go to a bar and order, if they got some of the older... I mean, even even the cheapest Pappy Van Winkle is fucking expensive, you know? But the really fucking old ones, like, no shit for, like, you know...
05:19:33
Speaker
just one bottle some of those some of those are like 15 1600 fucking bottles you know some of the smoothest shit you'll ever fucking drink but yeah yeah I miss that shit man that was that was that was fun times yeah I joke around about living in suburban hell when when I lived down in Charleston but um I mean I miss it I had a great neighbors but that's that was the caveat man I had great neighbors yeah even though Even though the HOA were assholes, and even though I was like the one to go... and and and When I lived there, at the time, I was just renting. Before I came back to ohio I was getting ready and ah man my like The girl who owned my house, she should do she would lose her mind, and she loved it. She was like... great
05:20:30
Speaker
You got to chill the fuck out, dude. I'm not telling you that you can chill the fuck out, but you got to it because I would, man. i Dude, I will never fucking live anywhere that has an HOA. Never in my fucking life.
05:20:45
Speaker
I would fucking have sons of bitches, and they would get so mad at me because I was right. like I was wrong when I would fight them. yeah um well My cousin has just passed away a couple weeks ago. Escape from New York. Escape from New York. That's fucking Got a cobra on his belly and shit.
05:21:11
Speaker
Yeah. Scott, I love you. That's awesome. God, I love you. My cousin owned property. as His house backed up to the the property line of what was the HOA for that, the neighborhood that was behind him.
05:21:25
Speaker
And they tried to fucking like dictate what he could fucking do. And anything that they fucking came, this he had money. This was before he got all fucked up. but So this was like 15 years ago.
05:21:36
Speaker
If they came and said, oh, you can't have a shed like that. It's against HOA fucking. Man, fuck you. I'm not in your HOA. This is my own fucking private property over here. yeah So whatever they told him he couldn't have, he'd build one and build it twice as big. Just out of fucking s spite, man. Just out of fucking spite. That was me because, you know, doing doing the type of work that I do, being in maintenance and and and even pest control, like, I had to learn the ins and outs. Like, I have to know what you can and can't do.
05:22:08
Speaker
Right. and then And the HOA would come at me sideways and I'm like, oh no. tip You can fuck all the way off. And I would message my landlord and I'm like, hey, this is the, and I would send her, I'm like, this is the email I got.
05:22:25
Speaker
And she was younger than I was and I was like, I'm going to butt heads with them. And sometimes she would say, no, don't do that. And I would back off and another time was like,
05:22:37
Speaker
Get him. Go for it. and and and i and And the lady who was our HOA president, when I would go after her, I would always send a message with everybody who could you know reply all and say, you know, so-and-so has unleashed the pit bull. right now you know It's like it's game on.
05:23:01
Speaker
and i would I would fight them motherfuckers, and they would get so... I just i just i can't wrap my head around it, man. And I'm not talking shit about anybody that's in a community that's got an HOA, but I can't imagine buying my own fucking property and and be dominated by you know fucking you know Karen and Frankie that live in a fucking neighborhood that are you know head of the fucking HOA.
05:23:24
Speaker
Fuck you. Fuck you, because none of them are cheap. I've never seen a pro you know i've never seen a neighborhood that had an where it was you know ghetto shit, it's always fucking nice. you know it's long And sometimes they were right, and sometimes they were like, my neighbor and I, I'm a big girl. You okay? you okay You okay? Like my neighbor and I, we used to do some, because in South Carolina, fireworks are legal.
05:23:53
Speaker
Yeah. And you could get the big ones, like the big 500 grade. like Right. Before the July, every New Year's Eve, like him and I put on a we put on a show. we so we spent And it was great because it was like you you could go to the – and they had this shop. had this brick-and-mortar store about 10 minutes from where we where we lived.
05:24:17
Speaker
And it was like the super Walmart of fireworks. But if you you could spend like $100 and get like $500 in free shit.
05:24:28
Speaker
Right. So him and I would put on these crazy ass fucking 4th of July firework shows. Like the the community behind us.
05:24:40
Speaker
like they would Like they would come. Like we would have fucking people. Like we would have a big ass fucking... group of people um know that would come and hang out. And they got to the point where we were like grilling and one of our other neighbors, yeah he was a barbecue guy. So he was like smoking shit all day long, like the day before he started smoking shit.
05:25:03
Speaker
And the neighbors were like, everybody was eating, everybody was having a good time. Neighbors would Like the back community and and the other neighbors in our community, they're like, everybody brought their own beer and they shared.
05:25:15
Speaker
And we would have a great fucking time. And then my neighbor and I would do the firework display. We had like four people, man, every year that wanted to throw a fit. Yeah, fuck them.
05:25:26
Speaker
and it was just like, oh, my dogs, my cats. i I know some people have been talking shit about this. Because this is a new thing, and i'm not and it it's not like on them, but a
05:25:43
Speaker
ah certain subsect of our community, I won't mention anything, but like we've been doing fireworks for 200 fucking years, 300 years.
05:25:55
Speaker
And y'all ain't never had no problem with it until this woke bullshit.
Veterans' Stories and Military Discussions
05:26:01
Speaker
Like, get the fuck over it. Like, god damn. I'll be honest with you. like the dogs and shit. Yeah, I i agree. Because we to do the fireworks, too. you know And I'm ah and i'm ah um' a combat vet, so I get some combat vets that have PTSD, you know, with loud fireworks and shit like that. yeah can It can you know we can bring back whatever, right? I don't i don't suffer from it, but like you just said about, and I don't want to get political on here, I'm going to say this and then we can move on to something else. But, um, that shit never existed until 15 years ago. I not like um i mean, I, I, no, no, no, I know. Well, neither am I. I am on, you know, but I'm saying it was, it was, I mean, we all, we all had that same shit that they're dealing with today, you know, and, and no, it you never heard any of that shit, you know, like, I never even heard the term PTSD until I had been out of the fucking core for 20 fucking years.
05:26:54
Speaker
You know, like I didn didn't never even heard the fucking term. and I've, I've, I've, I've talked to, and then like I said, I'm not shitting on combat vets. I mean, it's, it's one of those things like it's mind boggling because now all of sudden that's a thing, but I had guys that I know for a fact that didn't even make it through bootcamp. Right. Right. And trying to claim that shit.
05:27:16
Speaker
PTSD PTSD from what? Right. Right. What? Cause the drill instructors yelled at you. but You got PTSD. It was traumatic, man. Fuck whatever. hey You got PTSD because you had to grow the fuck up.
05:27:31
Speaker
I got a fuck. My niece was in the Navy. Right. And she got out. I mean, she did a full, you know, she did a four year tour and I mean, you know, i started to say it was the Navy, so she didn't do anything, but she was in the Navy. She served. Right.
05:27:45
Speaker
And then she was out for like six months, something like that. And she got in a car accident, ended up losing her leg from the knee down. They had to amputate it. Oh my God, dudes from like, from, and this was fucked 10 years ago, right? Yeah.
05:27:57
Speaker
All the fucking time she's putting, shit like she goes to all these, like, you know, The shit that they have for, like, disabled vets, right? Like the Paralympics and all that kind of shit. You know, she's got, you know, she's got a fake leg that's, you know, got U.S. Navy all down the side of it. And she goes to all the, you know, I mean, good on her for getting out and doing it, right? But, and I don't, and I will never call her out on it because she's fucking family, right?
05:28:22
Speaker
But... like If you don't know her story, the way she makes it sound, and all the shit she gets from the VA, and all these things all these events that she goes to, and all these honor flights that she gets on, and ah if you didn't know any better, you'd think she lost her leg in service.
05:28:40
Speaker
yeah And she didn't. Like I said, it was a fucking car wreck six months after she was out of the military. you know but but she tried but if you don't know, if you listen to her shit, she says, and you watch the shit she posts on Instagram and Facebook, you would think, Oh my God, she's so brave. And thank you for serving. Cause she gets, and she'll post it and get 300 fucking comments on it, you know?
05:29:03
Speaker
And she never corrects anybody to let them know, well, Hey, this, this wasn't service related, you know, i was in a car wreck. So they just automatically assume cause they know you're a vet, you know? so That's the thing that kills me, man. Like, Oh, it did.
05:29:16
Speaker
I mean, like, like I love ah i love ah love the vets. I know there's some people out there that want to try to say that I shit on vets, but I love our veterans, but what I don't love is these motherfuckers, like you just said, man. It's just like... Let's spew shit and take advantage of it and you know make it make it something that it ain't. you know yeah You're just using your status so you can fucking feel important, but then on the... Some people, and some people, the flip side of the coin is
05:29:50
Speaker
um Yeah, if you want bring me some. And then you got some people on the other side. Like, I'm going to use my veteran status to to fucking feel important and feel special. whether they that And then you flip the other side of the coin and they'll shit all over the military.
05:30:07
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah. The fuck? Right. The fuck? It don't make damn sense. But yeah, I like um understand there's there's theres there are there are real combat veterans out there who do have PTSD and like fireworks and stuff like that. but at the same time, thank you, baby.
05:30:28
Speaker
um You're welcome, honey. but What? She brought me beverages. But at the same time, it's like Then you get the ones. Moldog, you're a Marine. And and I feel like, Moldog, I love you, buddy.
05:30:48
Speaker
I feel like you probably see this more than anything because as a civilian, i see this more than anything with your branch. Cats that were in the Marine Corps that think they're the end-all, be-all toughest Moldogs that you will ever come across.
05:31:04
Speaker
And it was like, calm down. You got bullied in high school. Basically, you're the equivalent of a small-town police officer. I tell people all the time, here's one way you can tell, and and and Rick will be able to say this because I heard him say, like, he's you know, he's got family that we're in the Marine Corps. But there the the the the fastest way to find a bullshitter out is, like, if you're out in a bar, and I'm not talking about, like, VFWs and shit where only, you know, like, vets can get in. But. Just out in a bar, especially at any regular civilian bar anywhere. The motherfucker you sitting there you hear sitting there telling combat stories ain't never seen a fucking lick of combat. Because we don't want to talk about it.
05:31:42
Speaker
you know yeah We don't want to talk. like I'll talk to you and be proud about Marine Corps shit all day long, but you guys will never hear me talk about combat shit. you know And the ones that you hear out in public that are doing that, those are the first motherfuckers I like to go up and call out right in front of the group they're with and shit. you know And like start asking them questions about this, that, or the other. And 98% of the time, they and they didn't see a lick of combat. They may be vets, you know what I mean? But that but never saw a lick of combat. But they're in there trying to sound like you know like big badasses that were combat vets. And, you know, I saw this. No, you didn't, motherfucker. Anyway, I'm done with all that shit because I'm just going to get pissed off. so Sorry. we I will give you a funny note, though. So I was on a channel for a long time that was run by a group of vets.
05:32:28
Speaker
And they would kind of, i don't know how we figured this out, but we would always find these other channels on YouTube of basically men that were playing Stolen Valor. meant it up a bunch of stories There's a bunch of it out there. One of them.
05:32:40
Speaker
One
AI in Music and Media Creation
05:32:41
Speaker
of them was kind of like y'all mentioned. He had gone into um basic training twice, failed out twice, okay? But he tried to get benefit from the VA over PTSD.
05:32:58
Speaker
Sorry, bro. It was audio. Everybody was a robot when I logged back in. ra ride ra yeah I heard him say my name, but i he said Rick will say something, but I don't know why. We were just we were just we were just talking about how like vets and vets that have actually seen fucking combat.
05:33:14
Speaker
are the last people you're herell talk you'll hear talking about combat. So sure if you're out in a bar and you hear somebody telling combat stories, like like a civilian bar, i'm not talking about like the VFWs or AMVets or something. I'll let Scott finish saying what he was going to say, and then I got a fun one for you, Moe, and you'll appreciate it.
05:33:35
Speaker
Electra, come up in here. I want to talk about you anyways. What's up, Electra? So this guy has PTSD. We don't know why. Obviously, we can't get his medical records. So I asked the military guys, like, because this guy did not even make it out of basic training. And so, you know, they thought about for a while and one of them came back and said, you know, what probably really happened is this guy has a micropene and everybody else laughs the fuck out of him in showers. That happens a lot. Yep.
05:34:03
Speaker
Yep. Yep. There it goes. I'm done. It's your floor now. Take away. Yeah. ah lecture so were on the panel real I was in a bar one night. Funny you say that. oh wait they got a point this way um I was in a bar one night with a buddy of mine named Oscar. He was a Samoan guy who was in the Marine Corps. Once a Marine, always a Marine.
05:34:26
Speaker
This motherfucker walks some dude walks into a bar wearing beady With a purple heart pinned to his Yeah, second sign.
05:34:38
Speaker
And the third sign is a fist to the face. Bro, the best thing ever in my life is he came in with like five dudes together. Me, Oscar, and four other Samoan guys beat the dog shit out of those boys. Good. For some fake ass bullshit.
05:34:59
Speaker
The cops showed up as Oscar launched old purple hardware and superstar across the railing on the outside deck into the fucking parking lot wrestling style over the top rope after doing that. His face smashed with a bar.
05:35:14
Speaker
yeah And we knew all the cops. And of course, the first responding officer was also in Oscar's unit in the Marine Corps. oh Oh, damn. Went over the fucking patio rail. He just fell.
05:35:27
Speaker
Yeah, he just fell. He's so fucking drunk. He tripped and fell, yeah. Yep, yep. I will never forget it because Oscar looked at me and he goes, does that motherfucker got a metal on his chest?
05:35:41
Speaker
And I looked at him and I was like, yeah but I can't tell you what Oscar goes. You don't wear your BDUs into a bar, and you goddamn sure don't wear a metal into a bar. And it was on from there. This kid literally for 10 minutes tried to talk his way out of it.
05:36:00
Speaker
Yeah. And see, that's... So when it comes to Stolen Valor, right? That's the best part of Stolen Valor, when you call them out, is just asking them shit that they should know and they don't know and fucking embarrassing them. where did you Yeah, embarrassing and the fuck out of them. endure Yeah, exactly.
05:36:17
Speaker
So after that night with Oscar, one of his Marine Corps buddies, and that's how I got my Marine coin, was that night in the bar. Because I never served. I couldn't serve. I broke my knee in high school. I was never in high school. No, I wasn't in high school.
05:36:34
Speaker
But so I broke my knee in high school because I had pins in my knee. I could never join an armed service. I couldn't get the medical clearance, right? So after I went to battle with those boys in the bar, of the Oscars buddies gave me my Marine Corps check.
05:36:49
Speaker
He said, we don't give these to civilians unless you really fucking earn it. He's like, but you stood there and fought fist to fist right beside all five of us. Here you go. And he gave me Marine Corps. He was like, good on you, brother. yep Yeah, he gave me a fucking coin. And dude, to this day, i have that coin.
05:37:08
Speaker
And I know what it means. And I know how to fucking use it. I know when and where it should be in my pocket. And this, that, and the other. But I also understand and fully have been explained. love you. Civilians don't get coins. You gotta literally do some form of a battle. In this case, it was a barbara with the boys to earn you a coin. no You have to have that level of respect for them.
05:37:33
Speaker
want to flip the script here real quick. how's it going, you guys? I got to meet Miss Electra last week. what up elect hey how's it going you guys i got to so some i got to meet m elect last week yes um she's pretty awesome she's pretty awesome uh this tuesday night on glick's house of music am i right yep this tuesday this tuesday night bji lecture we're going to hang out we're gonna talk a little ai music well yeah hang out in person or on panel on panel like just okay cool
05:38:14
Speaker
Yeah, we're going to talk a little AI music. I'm looking forward to it. Yeah, that would be great. Electra, you're on West Coast, right? yeah Yeah, I'm in Southern California. Okay. oh you see We had to kind of dance around her schedule because she's a diva.
05:38:31
Speaker
Oh, I'm sorry. She is kind of important, man. I mean, you know. no. I'm not. I'm not at all. But actually, I was ready on last Tuesday, and he was like, oh, actually, i got to reschedule. Yeah, I don't need to shit. I forgot. I forgot. Let's not make it. I mean, you did message me and said, I'm running late and it's crazy. And I'm like you like like, the first part is accepting it. So you accepted it. So good on that. I didn't forget. But no, Alexa will be joining me this Tuesday night on Glick's House of Music. And we're going to talk AI music and where it's going and what it's
05:39:09
Speaker
Well, I'm interested interested in that because I'll join in for that. That's right. and and and and and And all that stuff because she dabbles in that. like Yeah. You know what? i i said I forget who I said it to. I said it to somebody last week. no but And and it's good it could be good, bad, or indifferent, right? But ah I think 10 years from now, if not sooner, I think AI is going to be 85% of the music that's out there because...
05:39:34
Speaker
but i yeah I hope not. because I hope not. I love humans that are creating. you know i mean I hope not too. I really do. but I'll admit. there's There's a couple channels that I follow that are strictly fucking AI channels. right That put out some amazing fucking songs. manam like Amazing fucking songs.
05:39:54
Speaker
you know you can You can make good stuff on there. yeah yeah i i think it's a I hope it just turns into being in another outlet that the industry has. and that the industry doesn't get dominated by it.
05:40:06
Speaker
You know what i mean? Well, yeah, you know that the ah the record companies just took over both the two biggest AI music generators. Did they? they Okay. Yeah, they sued them, and then they just they they now own them.
05:40:18
Speaker
You think they did that to kill it or to take advantage of it? To kill it. And they're also going to... um now when Oh, sorry. Tuesday. We're going to save it for Tuesday night? like I won't be here Tuesday and I want to know now. We're going save for Tuesday night. but That's cool.
05:40:38
Speaker
AI is doing something and and i and and I have shouted out and I have made it very clear. I have interviewed a lot of artists on on my show.
Photography and Audio Equipment Insights
05:40:49
Speaker
that could 100% do what AI is doing. and and and i And I hate to say this because I'm this guy and I don't believe in Skynet. And I know that Skynet is right around the corner and the War of the Machines is not that far away.
05:41:06
Speaker
aye i think the artists the artists that I know could 100% do better than AI. Because if you listen to AI, and shout out to the Chatters Box Tuesday night, because...
05:41:18
Speaker
I didn't say anything, but I was i said, hey, listen to the lyrics. Listen to the lyrics. Top song. like Some of the biggest songs in the music industry.
05:41:30
Speaker
AI can't get it right, and they make mistakes. I'm sure. Yeah, I'm sure. Like I did, an 80s cover of Hotel California.
05:41:46
Speaker
And they mispronounced a lot of the words in that song. Bro, isn't our theme on Sundays ai generated? Wait, what? Isn't it our song for our podcast, sports podcast AI generated?
05:41:59
Speaker
Ah, yes. Then shut the fuck up. Hold on second. Hold on a second. Both the intro and the outro on Sunday, I wrote the lyrics for it.
05:42:12
Speaker
So the only thing that's AI generated is the music and the vocals. Right. Is it just me or is he slurring a little bit more than he was an hour ago?
05:42:26
Speaker
i mean we you know we're we're We're a few beers deep. We're working here we're getting there. Are we getting there? Francis, are you getting there? Where the fuck is Jeddah? Is it me or is it just... Is it me or is it just you that you're slurring little bit No, I'm not slurring. I promise with you it's you.
05:42:45
Speaker
I promise you. I promise you 100% it's you. I promise you it's... Hey, Sarge, how's my mic volume? Sounds excellent. Does it? Okay. Do you get a new one? Hey, Rick. No, I just got a new... i fancy I'm using it in XLR instead of USB, and so my headphones I'm not hearing very well in.
05:43:04
Speaker
Yeah, that's what I don't like about when I move to this mic. Yeah. Because i i don't I don't hear this mic in my ears. Yeah. And so I don't, I know i'm I, know i but like naturally i I have a loud voice so yeah I try not to put my volume radio fight yeah hurting yeah i've been I've been told that my entire and you're right in my fucking ear hole and Electra's her voice is crystal clear and about perfect volume yeah like you're in the most bass overloads my ear hers is actually about this much too soft yeah but it's it it sounds awesome
05:43:40
Speaker
sounds okay Yeah, your volume sounds good. yeah Kayla used to watch this show for me, and then she heard Mo Dog, and she like, who the fuck is that? You know what? Here's what's funny. You got a fucking audio for AM sports radio for sure.
05:43:56
Speaker
Yeah, i've been I've been told my entire life I should be on fucking radio, man. like yeah My entire fucking life. And you talk a lot, too, so you'd be good. So... i so that was it way I don't know that that was a compliment. It was. I'm wondering.
05:44:12
Speaker
I think that was a pretty dig. now No, it was a compliment because I did radio and I'm not a huge talker. Like I like to listen to, so I had to force myself to talk more. Honestly. It's funny you said that, right? Cause I was like, this was back when I was doing like outside sales. This was 25 years ago.
05:44:29
Speaker
And you know how you get signs. There's like shit that happens in your life that it's a fucking sign. Right? Like, So I was out this one day and I literally had four different people that I was talking to tell me, God damn, man, you got the voice for fucking radio.
05:44:43
Speaker
Right. And there was a new Columbia school broadcasting that had opened up in the city. And I heard like three fucking radio, three radio ads that day for it. And my last, the last one that I went to like my last appointment,
05:44:56
Speaker
They said the same thing. So I like heard six or seven fucking times that day about shit related to you ought to be on radio. Right. And and I was like, oh you didn't go to school and do it I did. I you did. So the next, the next day i made, cause I controlled, I was a top seller. So I controlled like what areas I was going to be in and shit.
05:45:13
Speaker
So I made sure I was in that area, but I stopped in him and I told him, I said, Hey, I heard your ads. You know, I've been being told this my entire life. And they were like, yeah, come on in. You know, we do like, you know, like on the spot, you can do like a spot reading or whatever.
05:45:25
Speaker
they put me in a booth, put me in headphones, put a microphone in front of me, and they give you a script. And they're like, what we what we would like you to do is try to read this script. It should be about 60 seconds long, right? And they were like, you know, feel free to, like, ad lib it if you want, right? We'll let you know when we want you to stop.
05:45:43
Speaker
Dude, I talked for like fucking 12 minutes fucking straight. I was like, I was just going off of whatever the fucking thing was. And like, and it sounded like I was doing a real newscast and they finally fucking came in and over my headphones and they were like, okay, okay, you can, you can stop now.
05:45:57
Speaker
And I hear the door open and like five of these motherfuckers walk in, they had gone and got like the CEO of the company and ah they had all been sitting in the other fucking room, like listening to me. And they kept saying, no, let let him go, man. We want to hear where he goes with this and where he goes with that. And you know,
05:46:11
Speaker
And I was like, fuck it, man. I was like, this this is a good sign. Then I asked them, what, you get paid in fucking radio? Yeah, and it's pills. And they were like, they were like unless you're like a Howard Stern or something like that, that you know you you like hit it big with.
05:46:28
Speaker
They're like, yeah, you're lucky if you're making $28,000, $30,000 a year. i was like, fuck that. I'm making $150,000 in sales, man. Not nowadays. Nowadays, you can play it on podcasts. don't think they're making that much. Podcast is where it's at. You can make more money on YouTube than you can on the radio. Yeah, you might be right. You might be right. And I'm i'm a huge into photography and a photographer. Maybe i need to start a photography YouTube channel or some shit, man.
05:46:51
Speaker
You should. If you can teach people do something on YouTube. I'm teaching people all the time how to fucking use cameras and shit, man. You should really, really do it then because so many people would love to learn. I would love to learn more about photography. Yeah, I would just have to like a studio. Like, you know, the ones I've seen, you know, obviously they have cool studios. cool backdrops all that shit i wouldn't be able to do it here you could bullshit get you a great start somewhere and it's right behind you oh yeah i could green screen covers that archway no you don't get a green screen dude amazon has fucking giant like eight by eight drape curtains that you could do like a patina barn wood background yeah it's behind you and you just yeah that would look cool
05:47:34
Speaker
Or you can put it on on a curtain rod and just slide it out of the way when you're not using it, slide it over as a backdrop. Then you don't get to worry about the greens green screen background where when you move, everything's all fucking and wonky. I don't know. Maybe I'll check into that. It's just a simple drape curtain.
05:47:49
Speaker
Yeah. And this isn't an expensive mic. I bought this mic for an actual photo shoot that I did like seven years ago. i was shooting a friend of mine who's a who's a she's lead singer in a band. And she was kind of wanting to branch out on her own. So I bought this mic in the fucking stand that goes with it and shit.
05:48:05
Speaker
Mainly just for her to like, you know, be able to hold it while I was taking photos and shit. but But it's an actual mic, but it's not an expensive mic. It's like a $50 mic. It's not, fuck you know. And I was dicking around with the regular little podcast ones where everybody buys, right, that are, you know, that change colors and all that shit.
05:48:22
Speaker
Yeah. and and And then I remembered like, well, that's when we started doing like the the karaoke stuff, you know. And everybody kept saying how like my mic kept cutting out. And and i'd I'd never sung before. like And I'd never done karaoke before until then. And they were all like, man, you got a great fucking voice for like doing country and the deeper songs. and Anyway, we got into and was having fun with it. And I bought that podcast mic and the shit was cutting out. And then I remembered I had this fucker just sitting back in my photography studio. And I was like, I wonder if I can use that thing. And the only thing I had to buy was this this piece here.
05:48:58
Speaker
perfect plug but that plugs into it that lets you plug it into a USB port. you know so And when I came back to that next week using this, everybody was like, God damn, dude. like So it sounds okay, and they're like, yeah, it sounds fucking great. What brand is that? What brand is it? Fuck, I couldn't even tell It's from Teemu. It's Pile. a pile ok yeah ok like said It's only like a mic. I mean, I wasn't going to you know go crazy, but i I remembered that I had bought a real microphone because they didn't make, like, I couldn't find anything that was, like, a fake. Because I wanted this old style, right? So she could, like, yeah hold it and sing into it and everything.
05:49:36
Speaker
And then, you know, and I got to look. And and granted, there's the same version of this mic that, you know, were 600 fucking bucks. You know what i mean? That's, like, yeah the the real shit. right h But, yeah, this is only, like, a $50 fucking mic. Yeah.
05:49:52
Speaker
Anyway. That's cool. Loser. All who za her i got I got a $20 microphone and camera all in one from Walmart.
05:50:05
Speaker
And he only got that from the term 20s 20, by the way. Well, when I first started getting on panels, because i just started doing this shit this year, right and i was and it was a total happenstance the way it all even happened, but I was just using the mic on my laptop, you know?
05:50:20
Speaker
I mean, i wasn't s singing. We were just talking and shit, you know? so I just want you guys to know that M.O.D.O.G.' 's actual real voice, because I've talked to him on the phone... Yeah, I use a voice changer. i use I got a voice like a fucking woman. like this hey He sounds like me. Oh, my God! Oh, my God! That would be amazing. That would be fucking hilarious. That would be hilarious. would No, like i said, like i said my my girlfriend, she was...
05:50:51
Speaker
we I think it was the first time I was at her house and we did the we did the show live. and And you came up, Moe Dogg, and she was like... Moe, you gotta quit smoking. She was like, listen. oh yeah know Big squatter, she was listening.
05:51:04
Speaker
And Moe Dogg started talking. Who the fuck is that? And I was like, that's Moe Dogg. Fucking resort. I can't smoke in the resort room. And it's a $300 fine if I get caught smoking on the balcony. And it's like...
05:51:21
Speaker
30 degrees less than 60 outside, so it's colder than a Weldinger's ass in shorts. It's not all about it. Fuck off. But I pack a Zinn, and it's just not hitting it when I watch Mo light a cigarette. Why don't you fucking... Why don't you be like a fag that you are? I mean... Because I'm not you. I'm sorry, Scotto, and the rest of the community.
05:51:45
Speaker
He's not sorry. He totally meant everything he said. I mean, well I meant that directed towards Rick. but the rest of He's over there sucking on robot penis. Well, guess what, Francis? We have the evidence, sir. We have the evidence. He sucked out, Francis. Your days of having all these masculine great fucking like memes that Scott makes me, you are over, dude. You're going to start getting modal quality shit. let's address let's address Let's address two very important parts of this picture, okay, real fast.
05:52:20
Speaker
Number one, I don't have that much arm ink, although I want it. And number two, that's more chest hair than I've ever had in my entire fucking life. Ah! Also, Rick, let's address one other thing. Two other things. Your belly bigger than mine.
05:52:33
Speaker
Also, do you see who's in the background? also also ri i'm so ri let's address one other thing all two other things your belly is bigger than mine also do you see who's in the background Did you even notice it? He's a fucking He's celebrating us being no shirtless.
05:52:54
Speaker
yeah we i am I am posting this picture. He's the machine. You guys are the fucking gears. I am posting this picture on social media. for years how I am tagging Burt Kreischer and my goal is to get Burt Kreischer on Unnecessary Roughness.
05:53:14
Speaker
That'd be awesome. once huge horse fan I swear to God, if he sees that tag, I could 100% see him going, fuck yeah, I'll do that. What's going on? ah kick farmac next Oh, it's Max Extreme.
05:53:30
Speaker
don't know who this is. I thought that was Luckerberg for a second. We can't even hear you. We can't even hear him. Come on, Max. Get your shit together, bro.
05:53:42
Speaker
You need a good expensive mic like I have. Yeah, Max. So what are you using? you using, Electra? You said you had a new mic. What'd you get?
05:53:53
Speaker
Oh, it's not new. it's up It's about two years old. It's a Shure Okay, okay. Yeah. It's not the SM7B. It's not the real famous one that a lot of people use, but um it's like a step down from that. Hold on. Yeah, it sounds fucking amazing.
05:54:10
Speaker
Okay, good. I'm using... Hold on. Let me see. I'm using... Designed by Apple in California. Assembled in Vietnam AirPods. Check. Electra, have you sang into it yet? Have you sang into it? working and Not with the XLR. Hold on one second. We want to make sure we got Max. Hello?
05:54:35
Speaker
Not with the XLR. I didn't know if you tried to You know how sometimes when people sing, it cuts out like the high notes and shit? The woman not securing herself... I don't have a lot of problems.
05:54:47
Speaker
I don't know. What's the topic here? There is no topic. It's Saturday night. It's not coming on a dog and the only girl on panel. It's not that.
05:54:58
Speaker
Well, I want you to a white knight to dog on. What is with you white knight cucks already? I know. I'm just kidding. I can't fucking blow on you, so calm down there. You military guys are the biggest...
05:55:14
Speaker
ah Oh God damn it. diging down He's a dick. he fucks any he fucks trannies too. he loves trannies know you not Nothing wrong with that, but I'm just saying he's a dick for breakfast damn I know, Rick. I know. Five minutes. After party? Yeah, I'm just giving you the heads up, bro. After party? Oh, I'm game.
05:55:45
Speaker
Yeah, not not me this time. I got i gotta to roll out. I got grandpa shit to do in the morning. got to roll out. Shamanama Ding Dong, Jedi, Electra, Shadow. Jedi ain't been here for an hour and a half, man. Yeah, he's gone. Did he pass out? didn and I've been given permission to finish my beverages. So after party?
05:56:06
Speaker
Where's that at? Right here. He'll just go live again. It'll literally be right here on our YouTube channel. I'll drop the link in the chat as soon as the live is up. I was just giving you the the warning right there. I was looking at it. I was on the phone and I'm like, how much time is left?
05:56:27
Speaker
Am I going make it back? Thank you guys hanging out. Thank you guys for for listening and watching the panel. Modal, Jedi, Shaman, my beautiful shadow, my co-host on Sundays, the man, the myth, the legend, the one and only Rick in here dropping my secret, my deepest diker secret tonight.
05:56:52
Speaker
His name is Francis. like I guess Tuesday night. She's going to come back up. We're going to hang out more. Britt. um man Who all was up on this panel? Everybody in the chatterbox.
05:57:08
Speaker
Remi, Britt, all you guys. Thank you guys so much. If you're not already, excuse me. If not already, go ahead and give us a follow. Give us a like. Give us a share. All of our links are there.
05:57:20
Speaker
nonsensical network all of our links are there you know and And check out our friends. you know I try to post up our friends as they're on YouTube and our and Facebook and all that stuff. So make sure you guys check them out.
05:57:35
Speaker
And with that being said...