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Grounded in Resilience: Growing Through Adversity and Change in Relationships, Career, and Motherhood - with Kiran Reddy (part 2)
76 Plays15 days ago
In the final episode of the summer series, Leanna continues her conversation with Kiran Reddy, entrepreneur, attorney, mom, and founder of Reddy Consulting, as she reflects on four transformative years marked by motherhood, turning 40, separation and divorce, two layoffs, and the challenges and lessons of rebuilding her identity.
Kiran shares candidly about the shift from survival mode to redefining balance, and how motherhood taught her the importance of putting her own needs first in order to care for her son. She opens up about navigating the grief and uncertainty of uncoupling after an 18-year relationship, the role of therapy and solitude in her personal growth, and the practical tools like her “four buckets” framework that helped her stay grounded through constant change.
The conversation also touches on the realities of layoffs, resilience in career transitions, and learning to live more in the present rather than clinging to rigid long-term goals. Kiran offers wisdom on co-parenting with compassion and intention, and how she has found new strength and purpose through adversity. Her story is a powerful reminder that growth, clarity, and self-discovery are possible even in our toughest seasons.
If you missed Part 1, listen now for the full arc of Kiran’s inspiring journey.
Connect with Kiran here.
Full transcript available here.
Connect with Leanna here.
If you're ready for deeper transformation, check out The Executive Mom Reset; Leanna’s six-month coaching program designed to help ambitious moms stop merely surviving and start thriving. Book a consult now!
Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review the show to help more women find these empowering stories!
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Transcript
Introduction to the Podcast
00:00:04
Speaker
Welcome to the Executive Coach for Moms podcast, where we support women who are attempting to find balance and joy while simultaneously leading people at work and at home.
00:00:15
Speaker
I'm your host, Leanna Lasky-McGrath, former tech exec turned full-time mom, recovering perfectionist and workaholic, and certified executive coach.
00:00:27
Speaker
Hi, everyone. Welcome back to the show. Thank you so much for joining me today.
Meet Kieran Reddy
00:00:31
Speaker
I am here with Kieran Reddy for part two of our conversation. If you did not hear our first conversation, definitely go back to last week's episode.
00:00:43
Speaker
Give it a listen so you can get to know Kieran a little bit better and hear some awesome stories from her. And let me tell you a little bit about Kieran in case you are just joining us. Kieran Reddy is an entrepreneur, general counsel,
00:00:57
Speaker
and the founder of Ready Consulting, where she helps tech startups and SaaS companies navigate legal strategy with clarity and confidence. With over a decade of in-house counsel experience, Kieran specializes in privacy, commercial contracts, and scaling smart legal frameworks that support growth.
00:01:13
Speaker
Beyond the Boardroom, Kieran is a passionate advocate for prison reform and community empowerment, actively involved in nonprofit leadership and justice-driven initiatives. She brings a rare mix of legal precision, business-savvy, and purpose-driven work to everything she
Kieran's Transformational Changes
00:01:28
Speaker
does.
00:01:28
Speaker
Welcome back, kian Thanks for having me. yeah thanks so much for being here for part two. And I am so excited to jump into this conversation because I know when we were catching up, you kind of shared that the last four years have been pretty transformational for you, lots of different changes. And so i thought it would be amazing to talk about that today. And I'm so grateful to you for wanting to share with all of us. I think for anyone who is going through any of these changes and transitions in their lives or who might in the future, I think this will be so helpful.
00:02:06
Speaker
Oh God. Well, thank you for allowing me to use your platform for this. I'm really excited. Yeah. So tell me, do you want to start with the first big transition, transition to motherhood? yeah Almost four years ago and into the day.
00:02:19
Speaker
I mean, we all know motherhood is, or for your audience, as a lot of us are moms and as you are one too it's a big transition. no matter how many, you know, four mornings you get, it's just still not the same. Your life just changes right once that human being comes into your hands and there is no playbook.
00:02:41
Speaker
So yeah, my transition started four years ago when I had my baby who is now four. His name is Leo. And then i would just say probably turning 40 around that time. i was late. So I had him at 39.
00:02:55
Speaker
And then, you know, the changes of 40, you know, what is going on with the body, your mental state, all that fun stuff. So when you say it changed a lot for you, what did it change? Like what felt really different or how would you describe like Kieran before Leo versus Kieran after? Like what was different for you? Because I know it changes, you know, motherhood changes all of us, but I think in different ways. so I'm just curious what it was like for you.
00:03:24
Speaker
For sure. i would say before Leo, it was just Kieran. So I could just do anything at the drop of the hat. and my obligations were, you know, my fur babies, but they were and independent enough where they could stay at home for a little
Balancing Personal Needs and Parenting
00:03:38
Speaker
bit. And, you know, I was volunteering more, you know, being more you know,
00:03:44
Speaker
networking to help my career. and would Kieran and Leo, that changed because it wasn't just about me, but it taught me to put myself first so I could support my son.
00:03:57
Speaker
And that was definitely ah shift that I needed to think about. i think whenever I would have a bad day or just saying like, I can't do this, what am I doing?
00:04:08
Speaker
ah couple of my friends would send me that picture of you know the person putting the oxygen on themselves first before they put it on their child. And i think sometimes I would just have to see that as a reminder for sure.
00:04:22
Speaker
Yeah. Well, I think that's so interesting because there's maybe an assumption that like before kids and you said like it was all Kieran's, you know, you could do whatever you wanted.
00:04:35
Speaker
that you're going to always put yourself first when you didn't have kids. But it sounds like for you, that wasn't the case. Like, is that right? or And then whenever he came into your world, that is what taught you to start putting yourself first?
00:04:51
Speaker
Yeah. You know, I noticed this when I was saying out loud. I was like, wait, I'm actually saying the same thing. I agree. I think it almost gave me permission. But yeah, tell me for you. was like?
00:05:01
Speaker
I think before i would put myself first in being stretched thin, doing things, I think more for others' benefit rather than mine, of working late just so I could prove to X, y and z you know, I'm capable of doing this as a female or you know, taking on more for, you know, community service because i want to be known as reliable.
00:05:28
Speaker
and i think for when I had... my baby, it was putting myself first as what do I need to survive? What do I need to keep going and light of for me mentally and physically, but also to have the energy to have for my son, if that makes sense.
00:05:55
Speaker
100%. Yeah. It's like up until that point, we think we're probably putting ourselves first because we have the, i guess we're kind of air quotes selfish, you know, because we we're not like caring for another human per se.
00:06:09
Speaker
But really, we're not. We're really kind of putting everyone else's opinions first and ah other people's needs first. And I think whenever a little one comes along, it's like, yeah, ah your opinions of me and what you think of me and you know whether or not I prove myself are just not as important as actually taking care of myself are so that I can take care of this human.
00:06:33
Speaker
Yes, that's exactly how it was for me. Yeah, I love that. I think that that's one of the gifts of having kids. I do think it's different for everybody though.
00:06:44
Speaker
how long that takes, like the realization of it and also the allowance of it, I would say, you know, of actually like, oh, I have to like totally shift how I've been doing things and how I perceive my own value in the world and, you know, how I bring value to others and to work. And it's totally different. And it takes a really big, it's a really big shift.
00:07:10
Speaker
Absolutely, for sure. and i think for me, it was still going on you know, the first year as, you know, you're sleep deprived, your whole life has changed, even when it comes to ah focus and the stamina at work.
00:07:27
Speaker
But I think after that, it was still figuring out what does it truly mean to put myself first? And i think from there, you know, after i had Leo,
00:07:40
Speaker
I want to say a little after a year is when we went through the earth separation process. And so that was another challenge on top of okay, i think as mom and as a parent, you still try to maintain your calendar like you used to and your obligations like you have before.
00:08:04
Speaker
Maybe a little differently, but then looking at how am I supposed to do my piece myself without having my partner day to day And what does that alignment look?
00:08:17
Speaker
And that was ah bigger challenge for me, I think. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. So tell me
Coping with Separation and Life Reorganization
00:08:24
Speaker
more about that process. That sounds like the uncoupling process is another huge transition, you know, especially whenever you've got a little one in the mix and you're trying to still adjusting to that a little bit of like, how do i survive while taking care of another human?
00:08:41
Speaker
So yeah, tell me more about that process. Yeah. And that was big deal. I think just because we were together about 18 years and so as and so ah a lot of my 20s, all of my 30s, just who is here and ready at the end of the day. And what does that mean to myself, to my son to everybody that I'm in contact in society? So i think just further taking a step back and really for me laying out, okay, what are my obligations this week?
00:09:16
Speaker
okay, work, what do I need to make myself feel fulfilled, like taking a walk? And you know what does Leo need from me and you know bonding?
00:09:28
Speaker
And then what does he need from me, you know transportation or whatnot? So I try to keep it in four buckets of my personal needs, my personal obligations, Leo's personal needs for me, and then Leo's obligations for me.
00:09:44
Speaker
And I think that was a survival mode I was in for about like that first year decoupling, figuring out as he's getting older in a new phase of, you know, now a one to two year old, and then me starting to get more confident as a parent,
00:10:03
Speaker
but just figuring out what do I need to survive just to make it through the day, through the week, and then however long that phase needed. yeah Well, I think that's a really helpful strategy, the four buckets.
00:10:19
Speaker
And so it sounds like like you use that as how you prioritize, like these are the things I need to prioritize and then everything else kind of falls below that. Is that right?
00:10:30
Speaker
Yes. It's almost... Like going back to year one of motherhood of when we were talking about of, you know, your survival bucket or your box that you need in order to just keep ahead and staying afloat and everything else drops.
00:10:44
Speaker
That's fine. We'll see when we can pick those pieces up later. yeah I think who am I piece is so, that's so interesting because you had to kind of go through that twice because I think we all go through that when we enter motherhood.
00:11:00
Speaker
especially when we enter motherhood, in our late 30s or early 40s, you know, and we're kind of like established as a human, right, and on this earth.
00:11:11
Speaker
And we have, you know, a pretty solid, like, this is who believe myself to be. and then we become a mom and we're like, oh, wait a second. You know, this is uncovering some things I, you know, that I didn't realize were here or shifting some things for me.
00:11:26
Speaker
And then you're saying, like, after an 18-year relationship, which I'm sure was a really big part of who you were, who you believed yourself to be. And then suddenly, you know, that is also changing, you know, and dissolving. And so it's like, what does that mean? Or evolving to a co-parenting relationship? It's like, wow, you've had to kind of really question that. Like, who am I? So what have you come up with? Like, let's how's that been?
00:11:53
Speaker
Well, I've come up with this was my midlife crisis. the Yeah. And it all happened at the same exact time. yes Yeah. But I will say when I was able to slow down, i was able to reflect more.
00:12:10
Speaker
And I was never a person before Leo, even before marriage, during marriage. i was never one who could just sit still and just be.
00:12:22
Speaker
And I think having that time to reflect was so daunting and scary to me. And as a mom and, you know, at that time, learning to adjust in being alone in solitude was really key for me of just being able to ground myself and just being okay with not having plans or not searching for something to do when i didn't have my son those days or just, you know, I still remember the first night I stayed at my own place and i was just thinking like, I only have myself and like two walls that separate me and the street.
00:13:05
Speaker
And I just have not had that mentality in so long of it's just me.
Embracing Solitude and Personal Growth
00:13:12
Speaker
And it really woke me up of, okay, I need to you know live for today and just figure out what makes me happy and feels complete in this new phase of life. And I'm still going through it And i would say what has really been helpful is having a good therapist. and I've had her through...
00:13:33
Speaker
all this time, I think for about three or four years. And so it's like good reminders of how far you've come because you've you don't see that all the time. and I think in anything we do, it's the day-to-day grind, surviving just life and everything that throws out you. But just now I'm able to be alone and use that time to reflect on growth and things I should, you know, would love to do again has been really helpful and figuring out who I am today and where I want to go. Yeah.
00:14:07
Speaker
Well, I think so many of us can relate to the just go go, go, just power through and not really feeling like there's time to ever sit still and reflect. And I'm curious when you said that that felt like really daunting and scary to you, why would it it feel so daunting and scary?
00:14:26
Speaker
i am one who has Really bad ADHD, anxiety, and depression. So i think once my mind goes to a place of it's not busy, there's an endless list of you could do better. Why didn't you do this? Or it's the negative aspects that get me.
00:14:47
Speaker
And just getting that out of my head. But as I've been able to sit still more or just being comfortable alone, I actually enjoy those times and reflecting or just being still and having random thoughts come to me. It's definitely been a change of my mental state for sure that I've been working on, but that's something I've been working on to help.
00:15:16
Speaker
Yeah. And what allowed you to finally sit still? It sounds like essentially what you're afraid of is like yourself beating yourself up, right? Like in those quiet moments. And so it was like, no, I don't want to even give my brain a second conversation.
00:15:31
Speaker
to start down that path because, you know, like that's just, I'm going to feel terrible at the end of it. So yeah. Like, how did you start to allow yourself to have those moments? Yeah.
00:15:42
Speaker
For me, you know, at one point everything just imploded and I realized I could not keep up with schedules of seeing people or networking and doing this alone.
00:15:54
Speaker
And so when I took a step back, I've been working through exercises of myself and figuring out what I want in life. That's been more rewarding for me to being alone.
00:16:07
Speaker
And, you know, just this past year, i gone on hikes alone, you know being able to go to the movies alone. i know a lot of people like doing this before, but I was more of like a social person. And I used to get my energy from other people.
00:16:26
Speaker
and I think now I just get it bye being with myself and seeing that as a reward of just being. and I think you know the other thing that I rediscovered that I loved is traveling by myself.
00:16:40
Speaker
who And that really gives me the opportunity to you know look back on things of you're in a new environment. How are you liking this?
00:16:51
Speaker
you know What would you do different? That type of thing. But... I would say definitely the therapy has helped and figuring out what do I want?
00:17:01
Speaker
What are the expectations that I'm used to having from others and even in society? And just viewing that as that's not what I want. I think for me, it was just figuring those two differences out.
00:17:14
Speaker
Yeah, I always say I wish everyone in the world could have a good coach and a good therapist, because I think the world would be such a better place if we dealt with our stuff really plan for, you know, intentionally about what we wanted.
00:17:28
Speaker
that would just make the world so much better so i am a huge proponent of having a good therapist and it sounds to me like what this journey has been for you is like coming back to yourself and really you know instead of being like you were saying like afraid of yourself almost like afraid of quiet time that you would spend with yourself now you get to enjoy that time. And like, what an amazing evolution, like what an amazing thing to have. I mean, I wish that for everybody because we're like the only person that we're with from the minute we enter this earth until the minute we leave this earth is ourselves. Like everybody else just comes and goes at some point in our lives, you know, maybe really long-term, but still not the whole time. And so having
00:18:16
Speaker
that relationship with ourselves is so crucially important. And so that's the gift of all of this turmoil that you've experienced over the past several years. You're right. I have 100% agree. And i think, you know, from hearing back, like my dad, especially my mom would say, you know, why are you so busy? You keep giving yourself away to others or you're so busy and you're not putting
Career Transitions and Stability
00:18:39
Speaker
yourself first. And those are still in the back of my head. And I just did not get it until I became a mom.
00:18:46
Speaker
And then when I went through this separation, and i I will say it was really helpful for me to find other women who have been in similar circumstances, unfortunately.
00:18:59
Speaker
i think, you know, as a mom, we gravitate towards women who have been mothers or who are mothers or who have been through the process and remember And I did the same thing with the separation of just having like, yes, your feelings are valid. This is a grief process. or There's ups and downs and you know now you need to take time for yourself. And I think it was hearing from women who have been through this of that was their key item to survival that.
00:19:30
Speaker
giving yourself grace and just figuring out what you want this journey to look like. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. And on top of all this, we haven't even mentioned there were two layoffs in here as well. So there's transition into motherhood, turning 40, separation, followed by divorce,
00:19:54
Speaker
And two layoffs. Tell me more about that. You know, just when you think things can get harder, they do. And when i went through my first layoff, I was working at Hallmark and I took that job from a smaller SaaS company because I was just thinking, you know maybe it'll be better to have a brand name in my career belt that will help me go further. And at least I'll be here for you know at least five years.
00:20:23
Speaker
Because as you know, with the tech world, it can vary, especially private companies. And I was there for 18 months and they created a role for me as their first data privacy officer. And I was excited about this.
00:20:37
Speaker
But unfortunately, you know i was last in, first out. And they had some layoffs. And that was the first time i've ever been laid off from a company. And it was also the beginning of my separation.
00:20:51
Speaker
So even though I knew it was out of my control, and as best as the organization wasn't explaining this to me, it was still hard not to take it personal. And just to remind yourself as This isn't based off of you know your performance. This is based off of metrics and numbers.
00:21:10
Speaker
And i will say that I'm grateful that I had my consulting company at the time because I was able to pick up clients. my old CFO at the time went to a company and she said, Hey, we're actually looking for somebody you know part-time. Would you be interested?
00:21:30
Speaker
Sure. Why not? And then... that company, Centerbase, was able to work with me. And when my severance ended, i was able to be picked up by Centerbase full-time.
00:21:43
Speaker
So it was ah way for me to network while looking for work. And it fell in my lap. Yeah. Well, it sounds like, again, just like we talked about in the first episode with building your consulting and fractional work, that it is very much about the network and how important that is.
00:22:04
Speaker
Yes, for sure. And i will say during that time of you know, being laid off. It was another thing that was out of my control. And I think as mom, when we're going through her motherhood, there's a lot of hurdles like that.
00:22:20
Speaker
with you know the first year of motherhood and still like what I'm learning as well as separation did mentally help me for this challenge and this hurdle of a layoff of, okay, how am i going to find a job? I don't know, but you know we're just going to figure it out and we'll be in survival mode. And that's how I was for the first few months.
00:22:43
Speaker
Yeah. And then there was a second layoff leader. Yes. So a year, I'm not kidding you. A year later, center base, that job I found, unfortunately, they had to do some layoffs as well. So that one took me longer to find a full-time employment.
00:23:03
Speaker
And that is when i was thinking, you know should I do the consulting full-time? Is there way i can build that up? And that's when i said, okay, the market's rough.
00:23:15
Speaker
Let's see what I can do. And I was getting more clients. Again, word of mouth. But unfortunately, there was just nothing out there. And the day I launched my website for my consulting company, i actually got hired on full-time.
00:23:31
Speaker
And i know a lot of people are thinking, you know why are you doing both? And right now, I don't have enough to sustain just as my own consulting company, but also benefits you know as a single parent, just thinking of, okay...
00:23:45
Speaker
I need this for myself and Leo. you know I'll just have this as a full-time position while I hope to expand my consulting work. Yeah. And in all this transition and uncertainty, and like you said, like just so much out of your control, how did you manage? How did you continue trekking forward and parenting and working and applying to jobs and, you know, all the things you have to do as an adult human. Yeah.
00:24:15
Speaker
You know, when I would have a setback, like a layoff or just something major, I would go back to four quadrants of what do I need to feel fulfilled?
00:24:27
Speaker
What do I need as an obligation for the day? What does Leo need to be fulfilled? What does Leo need as an obligation from me? And sometimes i just had to go back to those four survival tools I would use as day-to-day until i was able to feel more grounded and start seeing more of the future.
00:24:50
Speaker
So you know for me today, i don't have five-year, 10-year goals like I used to, even as in the early stages of motherhood or you know pre-leo, but I and fine with that. This is the first time in my life where I am okay doing day-to-day And i know eventually I'll be able to get to a point where i can start thinking ahead and having goals like I used to But I think for me right now, I'm able to keep my head on my shoulders because I'm not adding more, not necessarily burden, but something to compare myself to of my future self, if that makes sense.
00:25:34
Speaker
Yeah. I think we talk about a lot on this podcast is the idea of tis not this season, which I heard from a friend. And the idea is really like, like tis not that this is a season to maybe like have the most beautiful landscaped garden and yard in the neighborhood, right? Whenever we have...
00:25:54
Speaker
young kids, tis not the season to get another master's degree, or maybe it is, but you know, it's kind of like we can decide like what is gonna be part of this season and and some things we can deprioritize. And it doesn't mean that we are taking them off our plate and saying like, never again, it's just like, not right now, this we're we're at capacity and we're gonna look at that in ah another season.
00:26:22
Speaker
Yes. And I am going to keep that motto to stop the season. I love it. Yeah. And so my last question for you is just around co-parenting, because I think that anyone who's doing the co-parenting, you know, would probably say it's it's a journey and there's lots of, you know, learning that you do along the way.
00:26:41
Speaker
And so it sounds like you're maybe like two or three-ish years into figuring out how to successfully co-parent with your ex. And so I'm just curious, like, what does that look like? And what have you learned? And ah if there's anything like, absolutely do not do this, or here's something that is working really well.
00:27:01
Speaker
Yeah, and we're still learning on this. And i think because we did IVF, we always said it was our choice to bring this little guy in. And so no matter what that family unit looks like, we have to give it our all.
Effective Co-parenting Strategies
00:27:18
Speaker
And we get along better than we did before. and time is key. It does get easier as it goes by. And I hope it does for most people. But because we have been together for so long, you know we still go to each other's family functions. We still spend time together you know when we can as the three of us. And you know our our switch-offs, we have it on a Saturday because it works for us. And its you know I'll take Leo to karate and Joey will be at a restaurant that we always go to.
00:27:53
Speaker
And we meet there, have a meal together, and then we do the handoff there. So I think it works a lot in neutral territories of doing like handoffs or going to events together where it's more about being in the moment and the present for us.
00:28:11
Speaker
But, you know, there are things I've had to learn is... I can't think about the future of will this change when a third party comes in or what will this look like? And I think I'm still learning to take a step back and just saying like, again, i can't control that scenario when that happens.
00:28:29
Speaker
But if what I can't control is, you know, this moment right now and focusing on my relationship with his father and Leo. And kind of like making the best of what is right now. And yes, as your main focus.
00:28:44
Speaker
And hoping that it has a strong foundation for us to continue that for whatever the future looks like. Yeah. I love that perspective. And I think You know, maybe another gift of the tumultuous four years that you've experienced. But we could all be focusing a little bit more on the here and now because, you know, as high achievers, we are often very, very future focused. And what is next and what's that next milestone? And, you know, looking forward instead of really being able to enjoy the here and now, which is amazing.
00:29:21
Speaker
all of that's guaranteed, right? And so is there anything else that I haven't asked you that you'd want to share as we kind of wrap up? I, again, just want to thank you for being able to share my story because what helped me was knowing that there's other women are going through this and who have been through this.
00:29:42
Speaker
And it it's validating sure. And I just want to say thank you for letting me talk and share my story. Yeah. Well, thank you for being so open and willing to share your story. I really appreciate it And would you be open if women are going through this to be able to reach out to you Absolutely. I would love to be in contact with anybody. And I feel like that's in ways my purpose now is you know, giving back as those who did it for me. Yeah.
00:30:14
Speaker
Yeah. Well, wonderful. We'll be sure to link your information in the show notes that you've shared. and So anyone who is experiencing separation, divorce, co-parenting, uncoupling, all of these things, feel free to reach out to Kieran.
00:30:29
Speaker
I only asked you because I knew you would say yes, because I know how amazingly kind and generous you are. And so I really appreciate you, Kieran. I appreciate being so generous with sharing your story and with your time.
00:30:42
Speaker
And thank you so much for for being here. And thank you everyone for listening to this amazing conversation with Kieran today. And i hope you all have a great week.
00:30:54
Speaker
Thank you, Kieran.
Join the Executive Mom Reset Program
00:31:00
Speaker
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00:31:16
Speaker
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00:31:30
Speaker
Head on over to coachleana.com right now to schedule a free discovery call. We'll spend an hour talking about where you are now, what you want to create and how I can help you get there because every woman deserves to live the life of her dreams.
00:31:43
Speaker
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