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00:00:01
Stop Second Guessing Yourself: Mindset Tools to Break Free from Limiting Beliefs
40 Plays2 days ago
In this episode, Leanna dives deep into one of her favorite guiding principles, “Don’t believe everything you think.” If you find yourself overthinking or talking yourself out of opportunities, this episode is for you. Leanna shares practical mindset tools to help you stop second-guessing yourself and challenge the limiting beliefs that hold you back. Learn how to recognize when your “survival brain” is keeping you stuck, reframe unhelpful thoughts, and build confidence through intentional thought work. Tune in to discover how to break free from self-doubt and move forward with clarity and confidence.
Full transcript available here.
Connect with Leanna here.
If you're ready for deeper transformation, check out The Executive Mom Reset; Leanna’s six-month coaching program designed to help ambitious moms stop merely surviving and start thriving. Book a consult now!
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Transcript
Introduction and Background
00:00:04
Speaker
Welcome to the Executive Coach for Moms podcast, where we support women who are attempting to find balance and joy while simultaneously leading people at work and at home.
00:00:15
Speaker
I'm your host, Leanna Lasky-McGrath, former tech exec turned full-time mom, recovering perfectionist and workaholic, and certified executive coach.
00:00:27
Speaker
Hi, everyone. Welcome back to the show. Thank you so much for being here today. i am excited to be back on the mic talking about a concept that is near and dear to my heart.
Questioning Thoughts for Change
00:00:38
Speaker
It is something that I quote often, don't believe everything you think.
00:00:44
Speaker
I talk about it a lot on the podcast, and I want to go a little bit deeper today in talking about it because i think it's a really important foundational concept to starting to change our behaviors intentionally and showing up how we want to show up in this world.
00:01:00
Speaker
So Byron Katie has a really great framework for this where she has four questions whenever you have a thought to ask yourself, is it true?
00:01:12
Speaker
Can you absolutely know that it's true? How do you react when you believe that thought? And who would you be without that thought? And Her whole framework is called the work because that really is our work as humans to not just believe every thought that comes into our brain, but really question and decide what we want to believe.
00:01:38
Speaker
And so definitely Google Byron Katie and check out more about her work because her work is amazing. It's really foundational to thought work. And so i want to share a little thought exercise that I literally just went through because i had this thought that popped up and I've been noticing it pop up a lot recently for me.
00:02:04
Speaker
And that's always the first step, of course, is awareness and noticing our thoughts.
Understanding Thoughts and Beliefs
00:02:10
Speaker
Because what happens is our brains think, tens of thousands of thoughts a day, and 80% of them are repetitive thoughts.
00:02:20
Speaker
And as a reminder, a thought is just a sentence in our brain. It is not inherently true or untrue or good or bad. But what happens is that whenever we hear these thoughts reinforced over and over again, we stop questioning it. We just kind of accept it as truth. We believe it more and more, right? The more we hear it, the more we believe it. So we've got some of these beliefs that have been running deep in our subconscious for years, decades, maybe since we were little kids.
00:02:56
Speaker
And they were placed there often by other people and by our society and our culture. And it doesn't necessarily make them true, even if we've thought them a million times.
The Brain's Role in Motivation and Change
00:03:08
Speaker
And so this is often what keeps us from living the lives of our dreams? Because we believe the thoughts in our head. And we all have brains that are wired for survival.
00:03:22
Speaker
That's how we continue the human species. And over time, our brains have evolved, but that part of our brain still lives within us.
00:03:33
Speaker
And it is ah part of our brain that is usually very loud, has a lot of opinions, and a lot of strategies to keep us exactly where we are.
00:03:48
Speaker
Because that part of our brain, our survival brain, is really governed by the motivational triad. And that is to seek pleasure, avoid pain, and conserve energy.
00:04:00
Speaker
So anytime we want to make a change, anytime we want to do something better or differently than we have in the past, our brain is going to want to try and keep us safe. It's going to tell us all kinds of reasons why we shouldn't do that thing.
00:04:16
Speaker
And so for me, the thing that I noticed is that a lot of times when there's something that I want to do my brain tries to stop me.
Overcoming Fear and Resistance
00:04:26
Speaker
And a lot of times the thing I want to do is invite people to something. Maybe I want to host an event and invite people to it, or maybe I want to create an opportunity in my coaching practice to work with people and I want to invite people to it. And the thing my brain always offers is they're not going to want to come.
00:04:48
Speaker
They're not going to be interested. They're going to say no. There's no point in doing that and putting all that work into it whenever it's not even going to come to fruition.
00:04:59
Speaker
right Has your brain ever done this to you? Where there's a thing you want to do and then your brain's like, no, no, no. Let me give you all the reasons why it's going to take way too much energy to do that.
00:05:10
Speaker
Why it's going to be painful. right You're going to feel rejection when they say no, when they reject the thing that you offer them or invite them to. And that's going to be painful. So I need to keep you safe and Our brains are really, really good at knowing what it is that works to keep us where we are, keep us from doing something potentially risky or outside the box or kind of outside of our comfort zone.
00:05:43
Speaker
And so we have the opportunity to either believe those thoughts that our brain is offering us, which is why most of us are not living the lives of our dreams.
00:05:56
Speaker
Our brains are really good at knowing what will work to make sure that we don't go out and do that thing. And this is why so many humans don't realize their full potential in their lifetime, because Why so many humans are unhappy, why so many of us are stuck even though we want to do something is because when we go to do it, our brain puts up a fight.
00:06:25
Speaker
What happens is it gets really, really good at noticing like, okay, If I offer this set of thoughts, then that's the set of thoughts that will keep her from doing the thing.
00:06:39
Speaker
And then your brain gets wired that way. And then it does that again and again and again. So this is why it's so important to notice what stories we tell ourselves, what underlying beliefs are there anytime something comes up.
Personal Growth and Alignment
00:06:53
Speaker
So here's the thought exercise that I went through because we have the option of either believing that thought, letting that thought or that set of thoughts stop us from doing the thing we want to do, or we have the opportunity to question it.
00:07:09
Speaker
We can use Byron Katie's four questions. That's a great option. The way that I went about it in this situation is like my brain was telling me, okay, so i know you want to do that thing, but you know, it's saying like, well, why bother?
00:07:25
Speaker
Why bother doing that and putting in work when it's not even going to happen? You know, they're just going to say, no, they're not going to want to come. And so then I have to stop and ask myself, why bother?
00:07:39
Speaker
Why would I bother to do that? Well, here are the reasons that I want to do it. Here are the reasons that I'm excited about it. Here are all of the reasons why this is a great idea.
00:07:50
Speaker
And then as I go through that and come up with those reasons, my brain's going to have objections again. And I get to question those each time.
00:08:01
Speaker
So why is it worth it? And then a lot of times my brain will offer questions like, you know, or remember the last time, here's what happened.
00:08:12
Speaker
And then i get to ask myself the question of like, okay, well, what if that happened again? Or what if something different happened this time? What did I learn last time? What can I do differently? So I always think of the survival brain as like a toddler brain, where if we are letting a toddler like run our lives and make all the decisions then it's probably not going to turn out too great.
00:08:37
Speaker
And similarly, when our brains are offering us all these thoughts, we are so accustomed to just believing them. We are so accustomed to just accepting it and not questioning it and not pushing back and just going with, oh yeah, you're right.
00:08:54
Speaker
I really shouldn't do that. So i think it's really important to recognize that you have the option, you have the power of deciding, do I want to believe that thought and go with it? Or do I want to take a minute to step back and question it? And of course, the first step is being aware of what that thought is, if it's showing up often, and then starting to sit with it.
00:09:20
Speaker
And I love journaling on it and like sitting there and talking to myself. Hmm, okay, what do I think about this? What am I afraid is going to happen? Hmm, okay, well, what if that didn't happen?
00:09:31
Speaker
Or why do I believe that It happens for other people, but not for me. You know, what do I inherently believe there? And just digging into it and exposing our sneaky brain, trying to do what it does best, which is look out for our wellbeing and keep us safe.
00:09:49
Speaker
And we get to decide, is that a valid reason? Do I want to not do this thing? Like, is there an actual danger here? And is it a legitimate reason to not do the thing I want to do, to not go for the thing I want to not invite the people to the party or create a program and invite people to it, right?
00:10:11
Speaker
So your brain is going to keep offering all kinds of things that never changes. I think sometimes we think that maybe someday we'll My brain just won't do this anymore. I think over time, as you build the muscle, then and might start offering less things. Or sometimes I think it gets even more sneaky and come up with even better challenges.
00:10:34
Speaker
I saw this reel the other day where this guy was saying that when there is something that you want to do that's really aligned with your soul's purpose, that is when you'll get the most resistance.
00:10:49
Speaker
And so i think a lot of times we think that resistance is a good reason not to do something, but it's just a normal human reaction. And it doesn't have to be a reason.
00:11:02
Speaker
a lot of times it's not a reason enough to not do the thing that we really want to do. We just have to not believe the first thoughts that our brain offers us and really dig into what's going on there and get to a better set of thoughts so that we can go out and do the things that we want to do. And we can make good decisions with better data than just the first thought that our survival brain offers us.
00:11:29
Speaker
All right. I hope that is helpful to be thinking about. So first step is to be aware of your thoughts. Notice especially what thoughts are coming up often. and then start to question them.
00:11:41
Speaker
And you can use Byron Katie's method. You can just sit down and have a conversation with yourself and just like really dig in there. But however you do it, there's no right way or wrong way.
00:11:53
Speaker
you just got to do what works for you so that you can do the things that you want to do and stop holding yourself back.
Promoting Balance for Moms
00:12:00
Speaker
All right, everyone. I hope you have a wonderful day. Thanks so much. Bye.
00:12:04
Speaker
If you're loving what you're learning on this podcast, I want to invite you to come join me for the Executive Mom Reset. We offer both one-on-one and group coaching formats.
00:12:15
Speaker
I created the Executive Mom Reset to help high achieving moms feel less anxious, more confident, and more in control of their lives. Instead of feeling like you're being pulled in a hundred different directions, you'll learn how to pause, reset, and approach challenges with clarity and confidence.
00:12:33
Speaker
You'll stop running on autopilot, stop second guessing yourself all the time, and stop letting stress, guilt, and overwhelm dictate your day. You'll walk away with the tools and the confidence that you can use every day to feel stronger, more empowered, and more in alignment with the life you want to be living.
00:12:50
Speaker
Head on over to coachleana.com to learn more and to get signed up. I really hope to see you there.