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Part 2 ~ My Birth Story ~ The Ups and Downs!
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STEP INTO YOUR POWER EPISODE: On Spotify On Apple
This is part 2 of my birth story! In this episode I continue to share this magical, hard, amazing, transformative journey as honestly as possible!
I have been feeling all of the emotions as I ride this hormonal wave in the fourth trimester. (And I didn’t realise how intense the fourth trimester is! I have since learned it’s actually labelled as the biggest part of pregnancy emotionally, and I believe that!) I have felt extreme amounts of love and happiness, while also feeling completely fearful. However the most prominent feeling I have felt is a nostalgic feeling where I almost feel I am mourning my pre-pregnancy self, my pregnant self and my birth.
What I have realised in the fourth trimester, is that I’m ‘spiritually frustrated.’ I’m in a constant state of reflection as I’m terrified I will forget what pregnancy, the birth and the first few days of motherhood felt like. I didn’t expect to miss these parts so much. Because I had the most spiritually heightened experience of my life during birth, I am left a little frustrated with my current spiritual connections. I’m feeling like they aren’t enough. While I am and will forever be so grateful to have experienced that, it has given me very high expectations of what I can see/feel spiritually.
I also chat about sweating the small stuff and how having Indigo has put everything into perspective for me. I have also realised that self worth is the foundation of EVERYTHING when it comes to self development ... sweating the small stuff being one of them!
A personal episode that I hope will resonate in some way, shape or form for everyone!
View my website here! (My very own oracle cards, journals, meditations + more magical stuff available!)
Join my Facebook community group here!
Find me on Instagram here! @passaroundthesmile @cleomassey
Find Nicola Laye, Queen of breathwork here and Nicola's Instagram here.
Find Shari Lyon from Belly2Birth here and her meditation for naturally inducing labour here.) And her Instagram here.
The Pass Around the Smile podcast is recorded on Bundjalung Country, in South East Queensland, Australia. We acknowledge the Yugambeh people of the Bundjalung Nation, the traditional owners of this land. We pay our respects to Elders past, present and emerging.
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Transcript
Introduction and Welcome
00:00:01
Speaker
Pass Around the Smile is like your go-to friend, the one that lifts you up and backs you to the end. She's there to guide and inspire, challenge and teach, and remind you that your best self isn't out of reach. Self-development, manifestation, self-love and more, it's time to trust the process more than ever before. Welcome to Pass Around the Smile, the podcast. I'm your host, Cleo Massey, and I am so glad you're here. Let the magic begin.
Context: Birth Story Part Two
00:00:32
Speaker
Hello and welcome back to the Pass Around the Smile podcast. This is part two of my birth story. So if you haven't listened to part one, I would definitely do that because this episode may not make sense if you haven't listened to that one before. So I'm going to get right into it.
Special Hospital Moments and Spiritual Connections
00:00:48
Speaker
So we ended up going with private care. So we were in hospital for five days and on the third day of her life, something really special happened.
00:00:56
Speaker
It was just me and her in our little hospital bedroom kind of thing. It was almost like a hotel room, to be honest. And I had her in my arms. And randomly, your song, the Moulin Rouge version, started playing, which was one of the main songs that I would visualize when I was manifesting my birth with her. I played it over and over and over again in my pregnancy. And every time it would come on, I would see it and I would feel it. And I cannot tell you.
00:01:25
Speaker
she knew. She looked at me so alert. She's a three day old baby. Looked like it felt like she looked into my soul and her eyes widened. And I felt the presence of Nanny Waters around me so clearly, like so strongly. And it's like, like her eyes and her facial expression told me exactly what she was thinking. It was, I have heard this song so many times
00:01:55
Speaker
when I was in your belly and now I'm out and I'm hearing it again and you're my mummy and Nanny Waters is right there. And it was just the most special, surreal moment. And I know I wasn't making it up. Like it was so special. And what happened after that was her eyes kept darting behind me. Like she kept looking here and there above my head over, over, like back and forth. And I just truly believe Nanny Waters spirit was up there and she could see her.
00:02:22
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And I know what you might be thinking. She's a three-day-old baby. She can hardly see. They can only see black and white, like blah, blah, blah. I just know that this happened. And she has continued to do this when I'm holding her like a certain way or whatever. I will see her looking at something and darting her eyes and I just feel like it's Nanny Waters.
00:02:42
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And I'm so excited for when she gets into that stage where she's like speaking a little bit and stuff because I know babies are very intuitive and their imaginations are so powerful and amazing because they're not like, you know, they haven't learnt to fear anything or to have limiting beliefs yet. So I think she's going to be really intuitive and I'm excited for her to hopefully one day say some things that like, you know, she couldn't have known
Post-birth Emotional Journey
00:03:09
Speaker
otherwise. And then I know that it's like, yeah,
00:03:11
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you are seeing like nanny waters is here or something else you know anyway blah blah blah the hormones kicked in on day three as they do they call them the baby blues or the day three blues i think
00:03:23
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I was just kind of crying at the drop of a hat, a mixture of emotions, of gratitude, of love, of fear and the most prominent one which I did not expect and I was not ready for was this nostalgia and the mourning of my pregnancy
00:03:45
Speaker
and the birth that was now over. During pregnancy I told myself over and over again, Cleo never forget how you're feeling now because you can't go through this again or you can't go through this again without getting some serious help first. So I had said to Luke you know we knew that we wanted to have a second baby one day but during pregnancy I said to him like I don't know if I can do this again
00:04:07
Speaker
And if I am going to, I'm gonna have to get like, I felt like I would have to get years of therapy to be okay to go into another pregnancy again.
00:04:18
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but all of that went and people told me it would. I even had, I had friends that had terrible hyperamesis and they said, Clea, you just forget. And I was like, no, thank you. I will not forget. I have journaled this out. I have journaled how I'm feeling and I can, I can go back to my journal and I'm like, I've never felt
Processing Complex Emotions
00:04:38
Speaker
worse. I don't know what, you know, I was saying some really,
00:04:42
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pretty awful dark things because that's just how i felt and again this is just my story this is just how i felt i'm not saying it's any worse than what anyone else has been through or any better or you know i just feel like i have to say that because i just want to honor everyone wherever you are in your life but this was just my story i was
00:05:02
Speaker
constantly crying and having these like huge emotions because I missed pregnancy. So not only did I feel okay about pregnancy now, I missed it, which just was something I was never ever ever expecting. I mean on the positive side,
00:05:18
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I feel like one day I will be able to get pregnant again and be okay with that. Even if I am just as sick, I will probably straight away not feel those feelings and, you know, have to work through that. But it's positive that I feel better about it in that respect.
00:05:36
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I just never thought I would get to this point so soon especially. I also miss the birth incredibly. I have never been in so much pain in my life yet I want to be back on that night. But I want to be back on that night with the same people, with the same baby.
00:05:53
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I wanna, I just, I miss how it was and all that it was, if that makes sense. I have talked to other ladies and I know that they have felt the same. So I know that what I'm feeling is normal and I wanna talk about it because there might be
00:06:08
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some women listening that don't know how to articulate what they're feeling because that was me for a long time. I couldn't articulate exactly how I was feeling and that was really frustrating me because I am a person who feels something and wants to write down exactly how I'm feeling and then wants to figure out how to either release it or fix it. And I couldn't do that. And what I've realized is that I am
00:06:32
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in a constant state of reflection at the moment.
The Role of Journaling in Healing
00:06:35
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And I don't think that's a bad thing. I'm not letting any feeling, any emotion, any memory go. I am feeling it, I'm going through it, and I am processing it. But what is happening with this
00:06:53
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is, as I mentioned in part one, I have done more journaling, I think, in the last seven weeks than I have done in a year, probably, because I am constantly trying to process my pregnancy and my birth for what it was, a absolute rollercoaster of the worst I've ever felt and the best I've ever felt. It's really hard to process it. One of my best friends, Josie, said to me, Cleo, maybe you are never going to completely process it and that's okay.
00:07:23
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She said, maybe you are meant to feel nostalgic and miss your pregnancy and miss your birth forever. And that's okay. And I was like, Josie, you wise, wise woman. That is exactly right. I have been trying so hard to come to a point of conclusion
00:07:43
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of closure, of what I'm feeling, of all these emotions that are good and bad and ugly and beautiful and magical. But it's not supposed to be closed and off you go, move on, leave them behind. I think I'm meant to feel elements of them forever. I learnt so much from them. I have become a different person because of them. So why should I want to
00:08:07
Speaker
let that go. I get why I want to let it go because a lot of it is really uncomfortable and a part of that uncomfortable feeling is letting go of the most magical moments of my life. I don't want to forget how it felt to birth Indigo. I don't want to forget how it felt to look at her for the first time. I don't want to forget how it felt to feel so
00:08:29
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empowered and so proud of myself for having the birth that I wanted to have. I don't want to forget those five days in the hospital where we were getting to know her. I don't want to forget being in that purple university light where I went to go get my baby. And I think what I've realized is that I am scared that I will
00:08:55
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never be that spiritually connected again because of all the natural hormones that were going through my body through my birth.
00:09:04
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I was able to connect with Nanny Waters like I'd never have before. I was able to go to literally another universe. I don't know where I was, but it felt incredible. And I was able to do that. And I fear that I'll never be able to do that again. Maybe in another birth, I'll be able to do it again. But I fear that without birth, I won't be able to do that again. And what I'm realizing is that I am spiritually frustrated.
00:09:34
Speaker
I'm not feeling satisfied with my current spiritual connections because of the heightened spiritual connection I felt that night and in the days prior, and even in that magical month lead up to my birth. If you are one day wanting to get pregnant or have another baby, please take in that last month before your baby comes, especially if it's your first,
00:10:02
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for what it is. I miss that month so much. And again, I can't believe I'm saying this because I was so uncomfortable, but it's so magical.
00:10:10
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having a baby inside of your belly, the connection of them inside of you, that's something that I really miss. I now have a beautiful connection with my daughter. So weird that I'm even saying I have a daughter. I have a daughter, daughter. Anyway, the connection is different. It's not better. It's not worse. It's just different. And so yeah, please just take
00:10:34
Speaker
my advice here and just that last month is the most magical ever and you can really get yourself to the most spiritual kind of point that you've ever been in and also if you are not wanting to get pregnant or if you aren't or if you've been there done that or you know you can still get to and this is what I'm trying to teach myself is we can still get to this
00:10:57
Speaker
spiritually heightened place through journaling, meditation and card
Balancing Spirituality and Motherhood
00:11:02
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readings. We absolutely can. We have natural hormones running through our bodies all the time, which I have now learnt can help us gain clarity and help us gain peace and spiritual connection. But we have to choose to do the work to get there. And that's what I learnt. I did the work. I was consistent in my meditation, in my journaling, in my card reading, in my breathing.
00:11:26
Speaker
And it really, really helped me in the lead up to birth, in birth, and now after birth. I think it's really great to work through things, no matter what we're going through in our lives, to acknowledge them, to process them, and to either let them go, surrender them, or to kind of fix it, or, you know. But as Josie said to me, sometimes,
00:11:50
Speaker
Maybe we don't need closure. And sometimes these feelings and these emotions become a part of us and a part of our lives. So maybe just keep that in mind as you move forward in this life. Because I think what I've learned now is not everything needs to be perfect. Not everything needs to be fixed. And yeah, but do feel everything.
00:12:11
Speaker
Don't let feelings just pass you by because feelings and emotions are precious. You never feel the same feeling and emotion again. They're all kind of different varieties of happiness, of fear, of, you know, whatever you're feeling.
Navigating the Fourth Trimester
00:12:26
Speaker
So I wasn't prepared for the fourth trimester. I didn't realize how crazy it would be hormone wise, emotional wise, physically your life has changed completely just in so many different ways the fourth trimester.
00:12:42
Speaker
is huge and that's what I'm struggling with is the enormity of it all and the huge huge huge changes and you don't really know until you go through it and I've tried to really acknowledge that and I've actually reached out to some friends who have been through it and I've said I am sorry that I
00:13:02
Speaker
wasn't there for you in a way that I should have been and I was still there for them but it was in a different way and it's just one of those things that you don't know what it's like until you go through it and it has given me a lot more empathy and understanding and this I said this in my pregnancy episode where
00:13:24
Speaker
I reached out to my friends who had hyperamesis and I just said, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize how bad this could be. And I'm not saying my fourth trimester has been bad at all or I'm wanting or needing more from other people. I am surrounded by so much support and love. I am so lucky, but it has taught me to have more empathy and understanding in every single area.
00:13:47
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not obviously just the fourth trimester, with what people are going through.
Realizations and Self-care
00:13:52
Speaker
You never know what someone else is going through, but a lot of the times we have to ask. We have to ask how people are. We have to ask how they are going, because some people won't tell us how they are going unless we actually ask. So don't assume, I guess, that you are going through something that is so much worse than someone else if you haven't asked. And again, I'm not saying this is not
00:14:16
Speaker
me crying out for help I'm fine like I'm actually fine I'm so supported but what it has made me realize is how I can be of better support to others and on the complete other end of the scale where I was just you know talking about love and empathy and kindness and understanding
00:14:33
Speaker
I have also learned to not give a fuck. I don't swear much on my podcast, but sometimes it is, it's needed. Now hear me out first. I'm not saying this in a rude way. I'm saying that I have learned that the small things really don't fucking matter. Why do we get so caught up on
00:15:00
Speaker
the small things on something that someone said or someone did or someone didn't do or didn't say that really in a couple of hours or a day or two or a week, it's not going to matter. So why are you wasting so much energy on it now? What this
00:15:18
Speaker
pregnancy and birth and now my baby girl has given me is a new outlook and a deeper understanding of what actually matters. You do not have to have a baby to understand this. It helped me understand it more. So I've been trying to not sweat the small stuff for years, but this has really put it into perspective.
00:15:37
Speaker
I used to waste so much energy and time worrying about things that either didn't matter or things that wouldn't evolve. Like I can't tell you the hours, the days, probably the weeks that I have like in total spent worrying about things that haven't even eventuated yet, catastrophizing in my head. Why do we do it? Well, because of fear, we're trying to protect ourselves. I get why we do it, but let's stop doing it.
00:16:06
Speaker
let's stop giving a fuck about the things that really don't matter. Look around you. What is important to you? Do you have the things that are important to you in line for you? Are you seeing your family as much as you want to see them? Is your pet safe? Is your health up to standard? Like, you know, whatever it is for you, whatever it is important to you, is that all good? If not, then work on it and get it there or
00:16:34
Speaker
If it's something that you can't just work on to make better, maybe you need to see a psychologist, maybe you need to do some journaling, maybe you need to have a cry, an event to a friend, whatever it is, do it. You come first because when you fill yourself up, you are a better person for your family, for your friends, for the people around you, for your colleagues. It's not selfish to put yourself first.
00:16:56
Speaker
But what is silly is when we give our precious, precious energy that we could be spending on those that we love, or we could be spending on manifesting the things that we want to manifest, we're wasting it on things that don't actually matter. A really common way that we waste our precious energy sweating the small stuff is on other people's actions and doings and other people's behaviors.
00:17:23
Speaker
It has nothing to do with us. Of course it can affect us and make us feel good or bad or guilty or angry or sad or whatever it is, but if it is separate to you, that's what it is, separate to you. So don't make it your problem. You don't need to take on everybody else's energy. You can protect yourself and your energy focusing in on your beautiful bubble, on your beautiful life.
00:17:46
Speaker
and let go of what doesn't serve you. A lot of the time it comes from external sources and we take that energy on as if it's our own problem but it is not. This can come from comparison, it can come from caring what other people think, it can come from low self-worth, it can come from so many things that
00:18:06
Speaker
is normal for a human to feel and possess, but when you actually acknowledge it and work out where it's coming from for you, it's so refreshing and it's like a weight lifted off your shoulders. So take a look at what is important for you and make a promise to yourself that you will focus your energy and time on that and that only.
00:18:26
Speaker
and anything else that comes up, whether it makes you feel annoyed or not enough, whether you are judging someone else that then is a reflection on you and you start feeling jealous or whatever it is, is it worth it? I'm going to say probably not. And
00:18:43
Speaker
I have been able to realize that now in a bigger way than I ever have. What this also made me feel on the opposite end of feeling like quite refreshed that I had had this realization that I actually don't have to care about these little things anymore. I can let them go and focus on what's important.
Forgiving and Letting Go
00:19:02
Speaker
I actually started to feel guilty and a little bit sad for all the time and energy that I had wasted in the past. And I'm going to read you out something that I wrote in my journal. The title was, I forgive myself for. Because we are human and of course we're going to waste time. Of course we're going to do the wrong things. Of course we're going to disappoint ourselves or other people from time to time. But it's about acknowledging it. It's about moving forward. It's about forgiveness.
00:19:30
Speaker
I wrote this down to help me move forward. I forgive myself for feeling jealous, feeling overwhelmed,
00:19:38
Speaker
feeling guilty, feeling not enough, thoughts of not feeling complete, not always meditating how I used to, not reaching the spiritual connection that I have previously, not being present all the time, making assumptions, not feeling worthy, putting myself down, wasting time, wasting energy on things and people that don't matter.
00:20:02
Speaker
I know that sounds like silly saying people that don't matter but that could be when I'm like looking at someone on social media that I have no idea who they even are and all of a sudden what they're doing in their business or their fitness levels or whatever I'm like comparing or judging. So that really helped me writing that out and I hope that that can encourage you to do the same.
00:20:25
Speaker
I have to treat myself how I want Indigo to treat herself. I want Indi to feel empowered and I want her to be kind to herself and to others and I want her to feel good enough. What I have realized is self-worth is the foundation to everything and my self-worth has big cracks in it.
00:20:48
Speaker
And it makes me feel really emotional thinking about it, especially now that I have a daughter that I want to be the best role model to. I need to work on my self-worth. So she has self-worth herself. Self-worth is so important and it's different to self-love. It's different to going and treating yourself to a massage or taking some time out to do a meditation.
00:21:10
Speaker
Self-worth is feeling like you are enough and you are worthy of your place in this world, in conversations with others, at work, in your family,
00:21:25
Speaker
And there are so many times that I've realized now that the problem was that I wasn't feeling worthy. For me personally, I've realized this has come from the acting industry where I was never felt, I never felt I was enough because I was constantly being rejected. And it was an industry where if you weren't good enough, you don't get the role. So of course I didn't feel worthy because I was being told every day that I was not enough because I wasn't getting the roles. Well, that's how I felt anyway.
00:21:55
Speaker
So, self-worth is just a bloody huge one. Like, we need to work on our self-worth to manifest the things we want to manifest. We need to work on our self-worth to be in a loving relationship. We need to work on our self-worth to be a good role model for those around us. And something else that I wrote in my journal in among the 1,000 pages that I have written in the last seven weeks is
00:22:25
Speaker
I have to treat myself how I want Indigo to treat herself with grace, ease and kindness. It starts now. This life is mine. There is no pressure. I have plenty of time and I have nothing to prove. And then I put a little love heart. This is kind of what my journal is full of all stuff like this and a lot of like explaining
00:22:47
Speaker
how I felt about pregnancy, the lead up to birth, birth, fourth trimester in the greatest detail because I never want to forget it. I never want to forget the feelings I felt. I never want to forget any moment of any of it because it was just so, so special. I also just want to be clear on something I was saying before. You know how I was saying how Josie
00:23:07
Speaker
you know said you actually don't need to eradicate these feelings and these emotions forever you don't need closure of everything that's because what i went through was special and was good and yes it had elements of really scary feelings and the pregnancy i was quite down but on reflection it has become a part of me why i wanted to bring this up again is because
00:23:29
Speaker
I do always say you are not attached to your feelings and I still absolutely stand by that. You are not attached to the stories that you have told yourself. You are not attached to the things that have happened to you, absolutely. You can let anything go that you want to. Of course, some things take a lot of inner work, but the things that you don't want to let go of, you can keep
00:23:54
Speaker
a healthy attachment to and I think that's what I mean I just wanted to clarify that because I don't want you to think oh well I had this you know awful thing happen to me when I was young or I have this current limiting belief why should I keep that a part of me as I move on in my life. No the things that are making you feel completely yucky and aren't attached to anything good absolutely you can rewrite your story and let them go but when it's something good
00:24:21
Speaker
that you want to remember like mine. I really like what Josie said, like I like that advice and I think it's really important. And just on what I was talking about before with the journaling, I really encourage you to date what you're journaling so you can go back and read it. So lately, oh my gosh, the cards I have been pulling have been so crazy.
00:24:40
Speaker
One of them that I keep pulling is heal, which is just so crazy because my April card was heal and I was pulling it again in April and it is the card that I needed. I am healing physically, emotionally, spiritually from the biggest thing that I have ever been through. And the fact that this card keeps coming out is just such a reminder that my angels are like, we're here, we're helping you, you're connected and you need to give yourself grace and time to just be.
00:25:07
Speaker
It's another thing I guess I've been really struggling with in the fourth trimester is having a business and having my baby.
Balancing Passion and Parenting
00:25:16
Speaker
And my business is something that I care so much about. Pass Around the Smile is not just a business. It's not just my job. It's my passion. And my community really help that
00:25:29
Speaker
like really deepen that for me. So it's really hard knowing when to step back and when to do a little bit of work but not look at it like work because I'm supposed to be on maternity leave. I'm supposed to be giving all of my energy and my love to indie and that's what I want to do and that's the balance that I'm trying to work out at the moment. Again, I don't
00:25:53
Speaker
want this to be unrelatable for you, but balance is something that we all need to watch in our lives, whether it's with fitness, family, career, travel, whatever, going out, socializing. When you have a balanced life, when you work out what your balanced life looks like perfect to you, then that's when life continues to flow. At the moment, I'm giving Indigo everything, of course, but I must admit,
00:26:21
Speaker
there are moments where i'm like on my laptop and like feeling a little bit guilty because i am also a normal person i'm a human i need to make money and i have these fears that if i stop working within my business it's all gonna crumble completely and i'm gonna stop making money and then i'm not gonna be able to provide for her so it comes back to
00:26:43
Speaker
her at the end of the day so oh I need to be on my laptop but then I like look over and she's smiling at her like um black and white picture and I'm like oh my god I'm missing a smile you know so this is the beginning of me of mum guilt I know that this is going to come in it's just something I'm trying to feel through and I'm trying to find my feet at the moment I am
00:27:04
Speaker
a brand new version of myself.
Family Connections and Future Inspirations
00:27:07
Speaker
I never thought I could love something so much. And the connections that I am experiencing with her and with Luke and with my mum are different as well. A lot better, I must say, they are elevated. They didn't need to be better. I'm lucky to have had a beautiful relationship with Luke already and my mum, but like my relationship with mum now has
00:27:30
Speaker
heightened in so many different ways seeing her with indigo feeling nanny water's presence with all of us as like the four of us together i can feel it it's different it's amazing
00:27:42
Speaker
but it's also just, it's just a lot. It's just a lot to take in. There's just a lot going on and I'm trying to just be, I'm trying to feel it. I'm trying to go easy on myself, but I'm also trying not to just like stay indoors and journal all day. Like I'm just, I'm working on everything. I'm not perfect. It's not perfect. And it will never be perfect. And I'm just trying to embrace that. And I hope that that can inspire you no matter where you are in your life is,
00:28:12
Speaker
just to embrace the imperfection of life and not let any moment pass you by. Every moment is just so precious and this has just made me feel so nostalgic not just about pregnancy and birth but it's made me feel nostalgic about everything. My
00:28:31
Speaker
Pre-pregnancy Clio, I miss so much of me that I was, that I am now not. But that's okay. It's normal. It's a part of me evolving. But I am wanting to go through it. I'm wanting to talk about every single thing I'm feeling.
00:28:48
Speaker
I'm wanting to journal it, I'm wanting to just like embrace this weird transformative time and I'm not letting it just go because honestly the easier option would be just to ignore it all and move forward but I'm not going to let myself do that and I hope that this can encourage you to not do that with any part of your life. Like with me for acting I really did that, I did the work, I went and saw a psychologist for like two years to talk about every single feeling
00:29:16
Speaker
that I've ever had within the acting industry to understand why I am the way I am, why I do the things that I do. And I actually did mostly get the closure for that, but there are elements where I will never get closure. And like Josie said to me, which I just never thought of, we don't have to close completely every chapter of our life or every emotion that we feel. While it can be uncomfortable to carry these emotions forward,
00:29:46
Speaker
It's just a part of life. It's a part of us. Wow. I think I'm finished. Am I finished? God, see, this is the thing I'm never going to be finished. Am I? There's so much I would have missed. There's so much more I want to say. But I think I will leave it at that. For now, on Spotify, there's a little thing where you can write. It says like Q&A.
00:30:08
Speaker
and you can write what you thought about the episode or a question, although I'm not allowed to respond, like I can't respond. So even put your questions in the Facebook group. It means the world to me. If you can rate my podcast, if you liked it, please put five stars on Spotify or Apple. Wherever you listen, I have some really exciting podcasts planned. I have some guests booked in. And the other day I went on a walk by myself
00:30:37
Speaker
I can't tell you how elated I felt to be out on my own feeling like old Cleo. I adore my time with Indy and with Luke. Obviously it's my most special time, but I'm learning now that I need to remember who I was as well. I already lost myself in pregnancy and I started to get myself back at the end of pregnancy. So I'm going to work on getting myself back completely while keeping in mind that I will never be
00:31:04
Speaker
the same same, if that makes sense. I'm embracing this new version of me, but I am also honoring that I need to work on me to be the best version of me. But anyway, oh God, went off on a tangent there.
00:31:16
Speaker
On this walk, I came up with so many podcast ideas. So the podcasts will be coming. I'm not sure when or how often, again, I'm being easy on myself. I'm not forcing anything. I know if I force a podcast episode, it's not going to be good. But yeah, embracing the imperfection and going with the flow, riding the wave, trusting the process, all of the things that feel good and feel right. And I hope you can do the same too.
00:31:45
Speaker
Thank you so much for being a part of my community and for coming into my
Gratitude and Listener Engagement
00:31:49
Speaker
world. This is big for me to share and I already know I'm probably going to be a little bit anxious about sharing this. So please do reach out if it helps you in any way or if you resonated. I love you guys and I will be back.
00:32:02
Speaker
A quick PS. This is me like two weeks later just editing this podcast. But today I went back and listened to the Step Into Your Power episode that I did. I will link it in the show notes. And I must say it was just really empowering and I felt the need to tell you guys about it. So maybe it's a sign that you need to go back and listen to that episode and step into your power a little bit more. Yeah. All right. Thanks.