Transcript
Speaker: to by they are
Speaker: on fun
Speaker: This show starts here.
Speaker: Welcome one. Welcome all. It's another Wednesday night with Brittany and myself, Michael. What's up y'all? You talking down or what, kid?
Speaker: Yeah, we're talking some comedy. We're going to get funny up in this shit. Let's go. right that right. That's right. That's right. So, yeah. Sorry about the late start, guys.
Speaker: We both had some shit going on that was just fucking with us. And we needed a little time to... chillax get our show face on and that's the best you're gonna get guys this is the show face i'm sorry i wish i had a better face oh every i don't even have any makeup on same yeah that's what you get but we're gonna talk funny shit right let's go talk that fun shit all right um i'm gonna start off if you don't mind with uh i said i would cover last week um two questions two things two things to never say to a comedian
Speaker: you find out one of your friends is doing stand-up comedy or whatever don't go up to him and say hey tell me jill i just said that to you backstage too That was different. that was different you were asking You were asking for a little headspace adjustment. That's one thing.
Speaker: You can find out you're comedian and the next thing you know yeah who but a quarter in the put a quarter in your fucking mouth and then perform for me you little dancing monkey. Yeah, exactly. To be at your whim. Yeah, agree 100% with that.
Speaker: to be at your whim yeah as one hundred percent without without It's like, oh, you you're funny? Tell me a joke.
Speaker: Fuck you, dude. Come to my show. about that? yeah You want your joke? Give me $5. All right. It's just an it's an art form.
Speaker: Maybe people don't think of it as an art form in that way, and that's why they ask it. but it is an art form. You come up with a motherfucking joke, motherfucker.
Speaker: You do it. I've got two answers in my pocket waiting for that question. Or that command, really, I should say it's a command, like dance for me, monkey dance.
Speaker: ah If you're a fellow, a man, a gentleman, a person with a PP, it's out. I'm tell you this. Oh, you want to hear a joke?
Speaker: No, no problem. I got one joke for you. Anytime you're in the restroom, make sure none of the other fellows see you touching your penis while you're taking a leak the bathroom.
Speaker: Say three times you're playing with yourself. And then they'll say, what? And then I say, because it's illegal to touch a little boy's penis.
Speaker: I love that. I fucking love that. I'm stealing it. I'm stealing it, dude. That's the free one they get. That's the free one they get. I will give you props. I'll give you props for that. I'll be like, you know, homeboy, Michael.
Speaker: Thanks. Thanks for that. If I remember it, you know, so much weed these days. now long And if you're a lady, if you're a ah woman, a gal, you've got a jean, and you say, hey, tell me a joke.
Speaker: I say, I'm sorry, but I only tell my funny stories to pretty girls. Oh, fuck you, dude. Drug-free talk shows or no?
Speaker: I wish the drug were free. Bench, I wish the drug was free. Benchies up in the building and untrackable. Let's go. Hey, guys. So that's one of the two. That's one of the two. Don't say. Okay. no that That's it's just it's rude.
Speaker: I don't know what you do for a living, but how much. Hey, untrackable. What's up, brother? Thanks for popping in. and just so whatever I didn't see the comment. I'm sorry. I don't know what you do for a living, but let's say you're a plumber and you tell me you're a plumber. I'm not going to say, unplug the toilet for me. Let me see you unplug the toilet.
Speaker: And I'm doing it. um Okay. The other thing, the other thing, never to say to a comedian, and Hey, I got a joke for you and you can use it in your show.
Speaker: Oh, that one. o I personally will tell you every single time. I don't want to hear your joke. It's not as good as you think, but I will say this. If you think it's that good, go to an open mic and do it there.
Speaker: Exactly. and youre talking enough three Why should you give me your gold shit? I mean, you can do this. If I can do it, you can do it. Right.
Speaker: oh I feel that. I have chills in my body, literally like goosebumps right now because I feel that so hard. And I haven't done stand-up as long as you have, but like not nearly as long as you have.
Speaker: um But no, I feel that because people will tell me to say their jokes, like because I did have another stream beforehand and they would tell me to like oh, say my jokes. I'm like, dude, no.
Speaker: Like, no. Use your platform to make me look good. Right. so Like, stupid.
Speaker: Here's the thing, Benj. If they're a friend of yours and you know them and they're not funny, like you see them bomb over and over and over again, maybe tell them, perhaps comedy is just not for you.
Speaker: Yeah. But some people, it doesn't matter how poorly they do. They just love to do it. And that's fine. There's nothing wrong with that.
Speaker: There's nothing wrong with that. Yeah, I agree. i agree. Because, like, I'm not always that funny. i bomb.
Speaker: But, like, I love to do it. So, whatever, man. if If people go out there and they bomb, they love it, fuck it.
Speaker: that's okay your first time you did stand up stand up let me ask you this question was it what you expected it would be no not at all not at all because it was such a short like set that i had that i had like one joke to ah land my fucking shit off. And like it it landed, people laughed and like clapped and whatever, but it it wasn't what I expected it to be, no.
Speaker: The second time was a little bit better. the third time was definitely better. And hopefully the fourth time will be totally better. That's the thing. Every time you're on stage, you should improve.
Speaker: Yeah, that's that's what I'm going through is just improving my my comedic act. Exactly right.
Speaker: ah When other comedians ask me, hey, what did you think of my set? Right. Even if I thought it was awful, I have. I find something positive to say.
Speaker: Yes. You have to be positive. You have to.
Speaker: But who are you? so you This takes practice time after time. All the girls say,
Speaker: gross. Nobody wants to know that Benji, okay? What were you asking? Oh, um like when you go on stage, so how many times have you, oh, fuck my earbuds just fell out.
Speaker: How many times, I know, I know. Every time I smile or laugh, they like pop out. I'm sorry. area How many times have you been on stage?
Speaker: Do you know? Jeepers. Jeepers. Oh, you're showing your age, dude. You're showing your age. Shit. hey mandy nice to see you between 250 and 300 i'd say dang johnny you've been up there a lot yeah well down there a lot so because it's in a basement that's not right started oh really no i started in a club it's called the funny stops in cuyahoga falls ohio
Speaker: They do the funniest amateur comedian in Ohio contest. And that was my first time on stage. I went to do, it's an open mic, but it's a competition open mic.
Speaker: Right. And other comedians do the judging. I feel like, oh yeah, I feel like you told me that. I'm sorry. No, it's okay. Maybe I didn't. I don't know. that's so That's super cool that you have so much experience. And honestly, I am looking forward to learning from you, dude.
Speaker: Well, I'll tell you the same thing ill tell anybody else. I cannot write for you. oh yeah. I don't expect that. But if you've got a premise you're hitting on or if you've got a bit that you think could be better, I'm more than happy to help you improve your bit.
Speaker: And you don't have to worry about me stealing from you. I have my own material. I am anathema. Anathema. It's a fucking joke theme, man. Oh my God.
Speaker: I love it. If you can't write your own shit, don't go on stage. You don't fucking belong there.
Speaker: Point blank. yes fuck yeah dude i i stand up for that 100 it's one thing to have the same like uh you and i might have different bits that are about dating right that's a shared premise but your material will be different than my material right it won't be the like the same words and shit like like right you better not steal my shit no i'm just kidding
Speaker: that wall again i mean i don't know what it's like there but here i never worried about it really yeah i mean These guys are all working.
Speaker: They're trying to make their own material work. to that another thing I'm there all the time. Everybody knows each other. Somebody starts running my material. They're going to let me know. And that's happened to me one time ever. And I think I told that about that last week.
Speaker: It didn't work out for him well. And he doesn't do the bit anymore. And the the best part about that is the dude who stole from me attempted to steal from me will tell everybody who will listen to him that I'm not funny at all.
Speaker: yeah fuck that fool the more people that talk bad about you the better you're doing exactly that's but it's also like it gets in your head sometimes it's like well for me anyways because i don't know don't know you have to you have to believe in yourself wholeheartedly yeah i mean you'll know when your stuff's working and when your stuff's not well, I know it's working. That's why it's fucking getting to me.
Speaker: yes That's my point, Mandy. I wouldn't. But other people, they see your success with with your material and they don't have that experience with their material.
Speaker: So they think, well, I'll just take what he says, make it my own, and it's not the same thing. Oh, I'm funny. It is.
Speaker: o ben it's like It's like when people steal people's artwork. Like, no, I didn't want to bring this up, but like, I'm an artist, like visual artist. When people steal other people's like actual drawings, it's kind of like that.
Speaker: Jokes, stealing jokes and stealing artwork. It's the same thing because both them are art.
Speaker: One thing you can do to protect your material is record yourself on stage. right those are dated and stamped i do need to do those i do need to do that for sure i have videos somewhere but i got that benji figured you out buddy there was one time guy was running my material and i paid him that's because i do cross please work and i really appreciate it oh
Speaker: That's great. I'm sorry. That was kind of funny. but Dad joke. Yeah, I love it. A construction joke, too. it's you know i do construction, so let's go.
Speaker: A lot of people talk about their jobs and work and stuff like that. The most recent thing I did for WorkWork that wasn't totally working for myself was when I was driving the Amish back in the day.
Speaker: And I have a few really strong Amish stories that work almost everywhere.
Speaker: it Do you do stand-up at all, Benji? Benji, yeah. What the heck? Are you a comedian? Maybe we should have you in your home skillet.
Speaker: Yeah. um And anybody that's listening, if you have questions, please ask. Yes. They almost work everywhere unless you have to plug them in.
Speaker: Multiple genres.
Speaker: I'm trying get it. don't get it. I'm trying to get it. lost i don't get it i'm i'm trying to get it And I um think I'm taking it the wrong way.
Speaker: I think there's a sexual aid joke in there somewhere. Probably. But yeah, the Amish shit, dude, literally, i would I stopped by the gas station today and there was a horse and buggy there at the fucking... Pennsylvania's great, right?
Speaker: And there's shit all over the motherfucking road while you're driving down it because the ah horses are shitting. all on the side of the road so yeah i have shit all my fucking tires and everything the Amish people um they're helpful though i did stop by a very awesome place that had a bunch of flowers and huge ass pumpkins like bigger well obviously bigger than me and like cool ass shit apple butter yeah they were dope Amish people are they're cool but like their horse shit could go somewhere else I appreciate that horses don't care about streets
Speaker: When they got to go, they got to go. i kind of envy horses for that one thing. They could be trotting along and just shitting as they move. I've never tried so you but I think it would be kind of cool to be shitting on the run.
Speaker: Fuck yeah, dude. I'd be down for it. Anyways, I've done it before. Anyways, we'll skip past that. um
Speaker: So we have to pick up dog shit, but we don't have to pick up horse shit.
Speaker: You know what I mean? I hear you. That's a good point.
Speaker: That was a good point. You have doggy bags. ah hope That's for food.
Speaker: Some people call them take-homes. Okay. But no, yeah, you have to pick up your dog's shit, but you the Amish people don't have to pick up their horse shit. That's a good point.
Speaker: I never looked at it like that. It's fucked up, man. The laws are fucked. They don't pay taxes. Well, true. Our taxpayer roads.
Speaker: That annoys They want to live in the 17th century. They should have to like have their own fucking buggy trails and shit that aren't on our roads. And then they still go to the gas station.
Speaker: Who's that? Sig? Let's go. One our other um one of our other uh podcasters here uh blaze and i have been talking to him about uh gross stuff nice
Speaker: homeless people don't pick up their crap on the side of the streets either that's what happens when you don't pay taxes yeah yeah well i paid my tax i paid my taxes with it just barely but i did you can' believe I'm going to get arrested again. Fuck.
Speaker: thanks So, okay. So um I wanted to talk about ah Andrea Savage. Did you get a chance to... What's up, everyone? Hey, I'm not homeless.
Speaker: I just crappie on the street. Crappie's a fool. She's a big-time fisherman. One show on the streets once learned their lesson from Pac-Man. ah look Yes, I like that.
Speaker: Crappy. I love catching me some crappy on my Facebook. You can see it. I have one of my my pictures of me holding a crappy fish. Anyways, where was I like going with that?
Speaker: Andrea Savage, you want to talk about her? i' not leaving you. im just I just need a second. It's all good. Andrea Savage. She has her own TV show.
Speaker: It's a sitcom where she has her own podcast. ah And she is like a comedic writer. And um she's fucking hilarious.
Speaker: And I feel like I get a lot of my... humor from her sort of because she's very blunt she's very blunt um where was i going with this okay so there's this one episode where she has arm tits like extra breast tissue in her armpits and she calls them arm tits and i fucking thought it was great i stole that from her
Speaker: oh my god i can't i have so much and then
Speaker: So she has a kid too, so, and she's a comedic writer and she talks about lot of perverted things, kind of like i do.
Speaker: and this is why I can't ever have kids. She has a kid that's like five years old and she like says all this perverted stuff. Like even her kid opened up one of things on her computer computer of a chick biting down on a dick.
Speaker: Like how bad of a comedian can you be to let your child open up a picture of somebody biting a, oh what up Lazy, biting on a dick.
Speaker: And then she accidentally emails it to her kindergarten teacher. It's fucking hilarious. Anyways, I'm not usually a fan of female comedians because they talk about their pussies all the time. But adrian er Andrea Savage, she, Prima, love her.
Speaker: She's great.
Speaker: That's great. um You said you get a lot of your, I think you said you get a lot of your comedy from her. Yeah. Well, not from her.
Speaker: Did you mean that you identify with her? Right. I relate to her in our sense of comedy where we're blunt and to the point and like dirty.
Speaker: I don't get it from her, no. I just like when I found the show, I was like, yeah, dude, I get you. think i could be friends with you, homie. Because our humor is similar. So, yeah.
Speaker: Did she write her show? Yes, she is part of the producer and everything. um Yeah, exactly. So she writes all her shit.
Speaker: And then, oh um the dude from Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Jason Mandukas. ah He's Adrian Pimento in Brooklyn Nine-Nine. He's one of the writers with her, one of the comedic writers with her on the show.
Speaker: Adrian, was that the... Adrian Piment... Yeah. Was he the one that wanted to be best friends with Andy Samberg's character all the time? No, no, no. um Jason Mantoukas.
Speaker: He was the crazy one that dated Rosa.
Speaker: I gotta look. Look him up. Yeah, look him up. Jason Mantoukas. He... oh Yeah, him. Mantoukas. Mantoukas. okay southern really yeah he' fucking Yeah, he's funny as shit. He's always crazy as fuck.
Speaker: So he is one of the writers with um with Andrea Savage on that show. So them going back and forth with their like perverted and funny-ass shit is so fucking hilarious.
Speaker: I guess it's more of a female show, but... and There's no thing as a female show. unless Thank you. look Look, there's a lot of idiots out there that say, oh, women aren't funny. Women aren't funny.
Speaker: and You don't know what funny is. You're stupid. Not every woman's funny. Not every man's funny. Some people think they're hilarious, but in reality, they just don't have the self-awareness to realize they are only funny to themselves and their friends.
Speaker: Yeah. Well, yeah, exactly. Yeah. People always will say a lot of, oh, you're comedian. That's really cool, man. People tell me I should do that. say, look, I think if you want to do it, you should do it.
Speaker: That's what I'll say to anybody. If you want to do it, you should do it. At least one time, try it. You never know. You might actually fucking fall in love with it. It did for me. It changed my life entirely. If I hadn't gone on stage, I would not be who I am and where I am right now.
Speaker: And we fucking love it, Michael. And you're killing it, dude. I hope so. to sort of kind of a little bit love tolerate a little column a little column b but being funny at work and being funny at a party with your buddies is way way different than putting together the material to do a stage show oh yeah it's not the same thing i'm not saying you can't do it i personally because you're put on the spot
Speaker: A lot of times like people will have, well, this is a really great story. It's such a funny story. It's funny to them and their friends because they know the people in the story. But most the time, people tell me they've got a great story.
Speaker: I tell you, I'm going to be totally honest. I don't listen anymore. I'm going stop you right there. I don't want to hear your story. And I guarantee you it's not as good as you think it is. And I promise you I'm going move on stage.
Speaker: And then I tell them, yeah. yeah Relatability is a lot of what makes comedy ah yeah successful, but there's other people that don't relate at all.
Speaker: Like, for instance, Anthony Jeselnik, for instance. He's all about that really, really dark, really, really fucked up humor. I love that shit, but at the same time, it's also not relatable.
Speaker: well that's why i'm saying like the female aspect like andrew savage it's hard for you to relate to that or whatever that's not necessarily true kathleen madigan fucking hilarious she's a woman hunt shit too and but she talks about herself it's for your personal personal and that's what makes it relatable when you talk about yourself and not just come up with premises and then make up material about it and talking about yourself it automatically kind of endeared you're speaking frankly about yourself.
Speaker: Right. Well, especially these days with everything that everybody's been going through, like, I feel like it is easier to be relatable, but you have to be able to express it, like, make it come out in a way that is relatable for them to make, ha, ha, you know? Like, make it funny. Yeah.
Speaker: I don't do material. I just tell stories from the world. And that's what makes it easy. Benji, most stories are not good in word form as they would be in real life or acted out cartoon form.
Speaker: Not necessarily true. um If you're... Yeah, I don't agree with that, really. Timing and delirium, very important in comedy. Absolutely correct.
Speaker: And what I'm saying about the stories and the relatability of them, or not good in word form. It just depends. Like as a comedian, I do, i was given really good advice from an old writing partner.
Speaker: We talk a lot and well, we used to, and we write a lot together. yeah Don't tell the audience, show the audience. Exactly. That's the whole thing, too. It's like you have to have a whole presence to yourself while you're there, too.
Speaker: It's like you can't just tell them a fucking story. You have to, like, have your body language correct, too and be on your own gang.
Speaker: Let's see. Again, not everybody does it the same way. There's more than one way to skin that comedy cat. True. You're absolutely I'm really weird in this area because nobody that I can recall ah puts the microphone in the stand and stands there.
Speaker: Yeah. Every. Yeah. All of the people that I have seen mostly takes the the microphone, puts the stand away. Yeah.
Speaker: I know Nate Jackson, he'll pull it back, but I think it's because he's fat and he needs to lean on it. yeah
Speaker: I think that's why he keeps it there. But other than that, yeah, I've noticed, yeah, a lot of comedians take the microphone off. If you need to keep it on there, then I don't know. Yeah, I always, i the three times I did it,
Speaker: I took the microphone off.
Speaker: Many times early on, I had the mic in my hand. Yeah. I don't know. It's more comfortable. i got happy feet and I walked back and forth a lot. I was doing a lot of pacing, things like that. And it gets distracting a little bit.
Speaker: ah Well, I feel like almost the pacing helps you think about like what you're trying to say to you and like trying to get a like a feel of the audience and how they're feeling. You're looking around, seeing how people are like taking the jokes.
Speaker: You know what I mean? So you're like, okay, that's, is that why you're doing that? Yeah. Oh, wait, no, you're not even talking to me, you bitch. i do why I put the mic in the stand is because I wouldn't have a microphone in my hand if I was talking to you on the street.
Speaker: And the way my act, my, my hour headline set has been cultivated. It's like said, the one of the best, if not the best compliment ever got. I asked somebody what they thought of the show.
Speaker: And she said to me, it was really fucking cool because it was like you were having a personal discussion with all of us at the same time. was like you were talking to us individually, but at the same time, all of us. it's And that's it's what I do. I tell stories.
Speaker: I don't tell jokes. I tell stories in my life. I have made a somewhat modest career out of stupidity. put your shit up there. Put your shit up there.
Speaker: I can't find it. I'm not on my laptop. My dad has my laptop. I can't find it.
Speaker: Yes, Benji. Oh, fuck. What am I on TikTok? Hold on. I've got a YouTube channel, but none of the almost none of my ah decent sets are actually available.
Speaker: I have to send them to you, but... Okay, well, then nevermind. It's still my birthday week. oh um yeah So everybody
Speaker: is my birthday. Sorry. had
Speaker: Oh, my God.
Speaker: Anyways, I want to see you do stand up. but i was hoping like at your freaking, your reception.
Speaker: Yeah, I was a dick. I'm sorry. If you go to TikTok, I just dropped my link in there. If you go to the TikTok, there are on two, two of my short sets that are in there. And I've used both of those for, for, for,
Speaker: promo videos to get gigs. They're very old. They're very old. If, uh, if you like those, you would actually love them now because all those, all those bits have been matured and worked for, let me just, it took me, I canceled almost two years to get a whole hour.
Speaker: Thanks. Thank you very much. doctor Any questions from the theater gallery out there? Anything you want to know? Anything you care to ask? Do you? Oh, okay. I'll let other people ask questions.
Speaker: Do you have other people that you specifically work with? like That you have been working with? I do, actually. They've they've become friends. yeah They were the kind of people who are like me.
Speaker: they're not judgy they're not clicky but i guess we kind are a click or the anti-click um there uh there's a there's a uh word called gatekeeper in some comedy communities yes like they have keeper they have the keys to get into certain spots and if for whatever reason they don't like you you cannot get in there period but one way for sure to get gate kept outperform the gatekeepers suck their dick outperform the gatekeepers because they don't like it when uh when they're not the funniest one on their show which is really sad the ego in comedy is it's fucked up because look i don't care if i'm the funniest one to anybody in the audience but to be on a good time to be on a show that i produce you have to be funny you have to be good at what you do
Speaker: I don't have to like you as a person, personally at all. But I'll have you on my show. And I'll pay you to do it. Like you're the leader, the top dog head person. Yeah, I get that.
Speaker: I don't always headline. In fact, I would rather not headline a show if I'm producing it. However, there are some places locally that I work with that don't want other headliners coming in because they're not as strong.
Speaker: And again, that's not ego on my end. i i don't think I'm all that great. I love what I do and I have a lot of fun doing it. But. Michael, i will tell you this. I know you don't have a big ego.
Speaker: i Okay, just say it. Just fucking say it I know you're distracted. But anyways, I will say that I know you don't have a big ego. And that's why the fuck I love you and your humor.
Speaker: And i appreciate what the fuck you do. appreciate that. Thanks very much. but i mean, yeah. I'm going to do a show for New Year's Eve. Maybe. ah ah wait. I thought that was Glick's fucking... The...
Speaker: the the yeah Yeah, that's what we wanted to do, but we're not getting much help and it's not my area, so I can't really fucking get a venue there. And Glick doesn't seem to really want to get off his ass to help us out.
Speaker: He gave us a couple of places. All right, we can do a roast on knee Let's go for it But i am told of ah I told a few people about it. I'm down.
Speaker: I'm so fucking down. i will find some money and I will make it up there just to do it is it going to be and says He disagrees with you, Brittany.
Speaker: Oh, and he spelled my motherfucking name wrong. You motherfucker. He prefers people with big egos who are professionals. That way they're always striving to be the best.
Speaker: Yeah, but no, then they repeat their selves over and over again. That's the problem with comedians these days, i feel like, is that like they go up on the stage and they have such a big ego and they repeat the same jokes over and over again.
Speaker: Even with crowd work, even with crowd work, they'll still pick out people and repeat the same fucking jokes. It makes no sense to me. it, it no.
Speaker: Well, fuck you ben just like I did when I first started out. It's Brittany B. I wish I fucking had that motherfucking thing on here.
Speaker: Oh, don't have our, yeah, we don't have our stuff in here. It's a different. Yeah. that's like No worries. But yeah, whatever. I, I get having an ego and being like,
Speaker: proud of your work that's a different thing but having an ego and being like oh yeah i'm the motherfucking shit i'm funny so yeah that's different sorry i'll take that fuck you ah
Speaker: fuck you and Believe me when I tell you, when I come off the stage and somebody comes to me from the crowd and says, you were great. I love, love, love to hear that.
Speaker: But again, I've kind of got an answer in my pocket for that too. I really, really appreciate you saying that. I mean, I'm glad that my material, you know, was ah so relatable to you or whatever just resonated with you so much, but yeah,
Speaker: I'm not great. I've flirted with greatness handful of times and I strive to be great. but got a lot more to learn. You they are great. Very much. I thank you for the compliment. You are great.
Speaker: I'm okay at best. Well, I haven't seen you do a stand-up, so I can't. I don't have a i don't have a I can't even say anything because I haven't seen you do stand up yet.
Speaker: But as a person, I think you're great and you're funny on here. and you were funny when I went to your wedding. So, yeah. I've been practicing a my life. I have a hard time taking most anything seriously.
Speaker: Over 200, that's insane. I'm kind of really jealous of you, honestly. oh No, I'm very jealous of how many times you've been able to be on stage.
Speaker: But you're also older than me, so...
Speaker: Yeah. Eleven states. Eleven states you've been to? I've been to eleven of states to perform. That's awesome. yeah That's so cool.
Speaker: And like I'm technically... a national comedian because i've performed from the east coast to the west coast yeah all the spaces in between it's just here and there but thing is it's like if you want to do it you got to go at it hard yeah and don't expect other people to do things for you you if you're not doing nobody's going to work harder for you than you right like i have no management i'm sue now she counts Oh, Sue.
Speaker: Oh, she's a fucking angel.
Speaker: You can do shows on Friday and Saturday. So for a weekend sometimes. Wait, what? You can do comedy any day of the week, really. I prefer no weekday shows myself.
Speaker: Yeah. But um yeah, a lot of times like a full run for a major headliner, somebody like Bill Burr or Tom Segura, somebody like in the fucking upper echelon of comedy right now, like real superstar. know how much you love him. They'll Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and sometimes Sunday too. Like they'll do a late show Thursday, two shows on Friday, two shows Saturday, sometimes a third depending on where they're at.
Speaker: And then if there's a Sunday show, yeah. And they'll bank out for that shit. Best I've ever done, I made like $12 a minute for my time on stage.
Speaker: That doesn't include travel time. But man, that's... Again, i just I love what I fucking do. I just wish... See, for me though, Benji, it's not about the money. It's nice to get paid for it, for sure.
Speaker: It really is. But I never entered comedy with any illusions of becoming rich right respect i knew the odds of that happening are pretty fucking slim it's just the enjoyment and it makes your heart feel good you love it makes people feel good yeah that's what i've said i'm not getting rich doing it but i have like my job my career is to enhance the joy of others
Speaker: What fucking better thing can a person do than that? Other than healing. Making people happy. like wow. Yes. Making people happy makes me fucking happy, dude.
Speaker: I love it. Benji, how rich are you? I'm dead ass serious. I'm looking for investment in a video project. Yeah. Different strokes, different folks. I fucking say that shit all the time, dude.
Speaker: Different strokes, different folks. well and wait wait wait begin beginning Sorry, went too far.
Speaker: I took it too far. My bad. And that's Britney folks.
Speaker: Literally, I was with my roommate last night and she's having a hard time. And I was trying to make jokes with her and I was telling her about our show tonight. And I was like, you big titty bitch. And squeezed her titties.
Speaker: I asked for permission. asked for permission. ah see yeah And we just, yes, consent. I had consent.
Speaker: But hey, I'm so jealous of big titty bitches. I'm like, but at least I can sleep on my belly. um fact ah You know what I mean?
Speaker: my back problems aren't as bad. I'm sorry you can't relate because y'all, well, no, you have titties too. Your tits are probably bigger than mine too, Michael. Fuck.
Speaker: yeah I got minis.
Speaker: Oh, whatever. Fuck big titty bitches. Like, I'm already hunched back over like a fucking Notre Dame or a Ninja Turtle.
Speaker: But whatever. Okay, I'm over it. I'm over it. That's the most thing, Benji. it's It's easier to ask for forgiveness than for permission.
Speaker: Yes, definitely.
Speaker: I do love that saying, I will say. Oh, balls. Fuck, ass, ass. Sorry. Again, asking the peanut gallery out there, the commenters box. You guys have any questions?
Speaker: Yeah, ask us something. more We're running out of shit to talk about. What? I was asking the audience who are some of their favorite comedians, like who they like.
Speaker: do they like them? Uh... there's a lot of comedians out there i absolutely love to listen to yeah okay it's not necessarily a like a stand-up comedian but what about krab or craig robinson uh british guy i think no he's black oh oh oh craig robinson uh he was daryl on the office yes yeah dude let's go love him great movie actor but he does stage work too with music yeah he is awesome son yeah he's great well he did music on the office as well and and this oh wish we had this freaking we should have planned this what's up rock
Speaker: a Speaking of black, oh my fucking. Yes, dude. Coming in hot. Let's go.
Speaker: To answer your question, Benji, I have two things I refuse to discuss. I don't, i' not necessarily discuss, but I never, ever, ever on stage, ever off stage.
Speaker: I don't say the N word. I'm a honky, not a white devil. I'm one of the good ones. i And I never, ever, ever, ever, ever talk about the goddamn Holocaust.
Speaker: Wait, really? Oh, okay. Those are two simple rules. If you're on one of my shows, those are the rules. ah Don't say the N word unless you're person color.
Speaker: You're a person of color. Have at it. That's your business. But don't say the N-word and never, ever, ever deny that the Holocaust happened. Don't be a Holocaust denier. You do that shit, you're not getting paid, you're getting yanked on my show.
Speaker: And we'll never, ever work together again. Period.
Speaker: Get it, get it. Bang, bang, bang. Glad to have you in, Rock. I love your stuff, man. For real. yeah yeah Yeah, Rock was supposed to join us tonight. If you got a way to get a hold of him, he wants to pop in, he can.
Speaker: Rock, if you want to come in in here and join us.
Speaker: lazy jedi even maybe he's funny as fuck maybe no call it since you slip what you want i mean i see you saying just kidding one ah well ouch person with your talent shouldn't have to work oh still at work oh my god it's not even five I don't do insult, insult humor, stuff like that, unless you're an especially annoying fucking asshole in the crowd who can't shut the fuck up.
Speaker: Then, yes, I will fucking open the floodgates and go nuclear on your ass. I do not handle hecklers well at all, but I don't get hecklers at my shows generally because, again, you got to pay to get there.
Speaker: I don't do anything in anymore.
Speaker: But other people, they don't necessarily charge for their shows. They'll take money right from the venue. Like, well, I'll give you $300 to put on the show. And then they decide how it gets broken out. But if you don't pay to come in, you don't pay to see it, you're not invested at all in that show. You have no reason to be interested in that show.
Speaker: And most people think right off the rip, if it's free, it's not good. Yeah, true. I guess I never thought of it that way.
Speaker: But.
Speaker: My material is very, mind I'm talking about me, very, very vanilla. I don't split my audience at all. I don't I don't want people of color to feel out of place.
Speaker: I don't want Democrats or Republicans to be going to war with other in the audience. I don't. Yeah, yeah. No politics. I don't insult women much. much you dick they can be some people think that they're they're they're a part of the show well i thought if i yield should out it would help you no it doesn't what helps me is laugh clap boo that's it yeah shut the fuck up you got that baby i got that rock
Speaker: yeah No, I don't do that kind of shit. Much. Yeah, there is. And you're right. But if it's like, a if it's an open mic and I'm just trying to work on some new material, which is pretty rare these days, I've got so much already I can use.
Speaker: I don't want to start developing new shit because my my headline hour for me is is almost perfect i'm really really happy with it the way it flows it goes from one topic to the next topic to the next topic it's it's a really really smooth ride and it all fits together and it tells a story and really telling me backstage off live you're doing it you're fucking doing it make me fucking laugh i need it You're gonna give me your whole fucking sitch.
Speaker: You are You're gonna fucking do it. I need to hear it, dude. Because I don't believe you. You're not that funny. Yeah, keep saying that. That's what I said at your fucking reception. I was like, tell shitty joke.
Speaker: I had the only joke in reception. Actually, in the... and they are and No, that was the wedding, actually. Yeah, yeah. That's what said, the the actual nuptials.
Speaker: But I didn't get to say it, but I wrote that shit perfect. It was great. it was It was great. Everybody laughed. It was awesome. So it hit the light buttons on this episode, and she said you didn't want to offend people. Look, comedy doesn't have to hurt.
Speaker: again out look my entire outlook on it is this i want to enhance the joy of others and not diminish it i did thank very much i did and fucking heckled the out of him on his own like reception but you didn't you were the only one on the stage trying to figure out all the microphone shit and i said hey tell us a fucking shitty joke like i heckled you even though you weren't really joking
Speaker: written is happy yeah You were the only one on stage and you had a microphone in your hand. I said tell us a shitty joke.
Speaker: Yeah, I heckled. I heckled the fuck out of you, bro. so
Speaker: I like my comment to be offensive and dark. However, we all like what we like. True. Different strokes for different folks. Like you said earlier. I don't want to be offensive.
Speaker: I don't want to be too, too dark. In person? Oh, man. Yeah. Oh, really? Oh, so it's a different... The adults the better. i My favorite humor, I like i love Jeselnik.
Speaker: He's not my favorite favorite, but I love what he does. He tells those fucked up stories that are just absolutely fucking awful. But, I mean, he's been working his crowd.
Speaker: like He's been building his crowd following for 20-something years. Right. I started comedy at the age of 45. I don't have that much time to build Rock Lee.
Speaker: I'm sorry
Speaker: sorry. Again, I mean, I just I want everyone to have a good time. I don't want anyone to feel like they wasted their money by coming and getting assaulted or by coming and just you hearing a an hour of dead baby jokes. it Yeah, no, I get that. I get that. You want them to come there if they paid for it. You want them to enjoy themselves and have an actual good time. Make them laugh and stuff like that. Not make them feel offended.
Speaker: and And I want them to come back again. ah want them to come see the next show. Exactly. i don't mind dark, wait, where, um, I don't mind dark or offensive shit, if it works.
Speaker: There are a lot of people that go for shock value with shitty material and amen. Lazy Jedi, you are completely correct with that. For sure.
Speaker: Thank you for saying that, Shaman. I didn't used to think it was an art form. was like, eh. I tell rooms full of strangers about my big weird balls. That's not fucking art. Exactly. and Exactly.
Speaker: true comedy is an art. I mean, talking about your balls can be an art sometimes. I'm not gonna lie. Some, I'm sorry, some jokes about balls are funny.
Speaker: But yeah, no, if that's like 100% your material is talking about your genitalia and sexual shit, and like, whatever, then it's a waste of time. Like,
Speaker: everybody does uh what did she do what walkley said he wants to know more about my balls you think you do but trust me you don't i wish he was in here man and yeah let's stop talking about his balls um but no that's not all my i have two stories that i would say are very uh sexual But even those only one of them is really and truly a lightweight offensive.
Speaker: And that's just to mostly older folks. ah Okay. I don't mind. well I'm a very vulgar and sexual person with my jokes as well.
Speaker: um But it's just like when they purposefully just say like vagina or penis or whatever, it's like that's their whole bit.
Speaker: That's their whole bit. Like that's not funny. Not to me. but You can do a bit about it. That's one thing. A bit is a bit.
Speaker: Right, but they make their whole show about it. like Yeah, if you've got an hour that goes no farther than beating your dick or just sexual conquests, that's just because you haven't lived enough to have a real-life experience.
Speaker: That's why, and again, I'm in no way, shape, or form tooting my own horn, but I was kind of ahead of the game with a lot of people I came up with because they were much, much younger than me. I had stories to tell.
Speaker: They haven't had stories yet.
Speaker: I'm all down for the fucking sexual vulgar shit. I'm just saying, don't make your whole fucking thing about it.
Speaker: What did he say? did I miss? ah Shaman talking to Rock about remixing a song. And Rock responded, if that's a good idea, I'll add Michael's line about his balls in it.
Speaker: Fuck yes, dude. I love that. I love it. But I just talk about, you know, everyday regular fucking bullshit. I mean, every anybody, anybody can relate to almost everything I talk about.
Speaker: Because it's just real life shit. However, like the Amish material, for instance, it doesn't work in areas where there's not at least a little bit of Amish or you have no experience with actual Amish.
Speaker: which is wild it's like i thought everybody kind of knew what the amish were but that's because i lived 25 minutes from the fourth largest amish community on the planet right so i just think it's an everyday thing for me but it's not for everybody else and i realize some folks just check out because they don't get what the fucking amish thing is right do you okay so like for instance when you would go out of state would you do research around the area to kind of figure out what they're about just to kind of make jokes up about their area i used to i used to think about maybe doing something like that but what i'll do is like if i'm doing an out of state thing i like to arrive well early if not the night before early in the day
Speaker: I get a little bit of the local flavor, get a feel for what the area is like, and then I'll talk about their area based on my knowledge where I've been and other places. Like ill run i don't run it every time, but I run a bit about ah places to never visit, places I've gone. I love that.
Speaker: yeah ah That's awesome. yeah Yeah. You got a good ah head on your shoulders with the comedy. That's for sure.
Speaker: again i've been a student my entire life my first uh cassette tape i bought uh was eddie murphy comedian a unique twist on mundane experiences a deaf comedy gold local flavor as you did
Speaker: Oh my Kill him. See, this why we need him in here, man. hey Tangy is a great way to express like food and stuff like that.
Speaker: Never good to hear your genitals are tangy. Yeah, no. I don't know if I would like that too much. Oh my God.
Speaker: Asking for a friend. Yeah. Dude, Rocky, you're sick. You have to go home from work.
Speaker: You're going to get on here. I like that shaman in two one time that's not because he's in Jedi. They're funny guys, just naturally funny. Yes. And I'm telling you right now, both of them based on just what their comments are are like in every fucking show I see them commenting, they would both, I think, be able to find great success.
Speaker: not Why do you think I've almost left the nonsense?
Speaker: Start from the beginning.
Speaker: why do you think i almost left the nonsensical network you almost left yeah i got ah i got an application from jedi and shawn yeah i think you chose wisely
Speaker: that was a great dog man i really really appreciate what they do yeah no they are
Speaker: Here, this is for you, Jedi. Let's go. Jedi and get out the hashtags, man. Very funny. Very funny. He's a good dude. He has the hashtags always. they Don't call me names. just Michael, brother.
Speaker: Don't call me names. Sir is for people who deserve respect. I don't deserve your respect. i Like said, I believe you. Believe me. i don't deserve your respect oh my god yes i am professional audience song i mean that i just i'm okay at best i'm telling you no you're awesome michael you are really fucking awesome i agree with you rock i agree with you go there okay i guess what are you gonna do about it be
Speaker: Fuck around and find out, um my god, if this fucking earbud doesn't stay in my ear, i'm gonna get so mad.
Speaker: Depending on what you tell us about your balls, you will gain my respect. Wait, whose balls? then just to be a smart ass, he added, sir. sir okay Okay. We don't need to talk about his balls. Yeah, we really don't.
Speaker: Again, it's not the platform for that. I don't do much standup material on the internets because it's just, it's not the same. Yeah. yeah yeah We talked about this a little bit last week. It's like, uh,
Speaker: During COVID times, right? Oh, my God. Yeah. You went online. fucking money Oh, my God. It was a fucking nightmare. Because for me, the high is that energy exchange.
Speaker: I give you my energy. You give me your energy back. And I give you that much more energy the next time. Then you give me more energy back. And stuff that energy exchange is only... it has to lock and to be live that's another thing if you actually go and watch some of my stand up on the uh internet if you like that shit it's going to be a thousand times better in in a live situation right and again those the material are so that i can show you guys are so old that of those jokes some of them i don't even tell them some of the stories even get told anymore and others
Speaker: have been stretched out into whole chunks now. I'm again, I've been working my material for two and a half. I worked my material for about two and a half years to get a full hour out of it. And then since then, i've I've deleted and added some other things.
Speaker: Just push other material into a a second oh potential hour later.
Speaker: Sorry. You too need to be special guests on our show sometime for comedy center show. dude I'm in anytime you want to do it. Unless it's a Friday. Unless I can come in late. oh less like Okay. So vilan I might be coming there actually pretty soon. I'm going to take a mini honeymoon and I don't know if we're going North, but we're going to go on a foliage tour.
Speaker: I have family in Raleigh. So let's go.
Speaker: But Benj, comedy stand-up for me got sidetracked pretty hard last year. Yeah, well, you have to. thanks I got pretty sick. I almost died, and I've been recovering. Well, I'm recovered now, totally, but I have other things in my life that keep me from just hitting the road and doing what I really want to do, family obligations.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah, I got to meet – oh, it will be. It will be. I have the best wife. She is – Absolutely. but that's friend too She's the awesomest person. She's so sweet.
Speaker: And the fact that she let you do that joke during your wedding is awesome. wendy That's legit. Sounds awesome. me what What did he say exactly again? He was like, if anybody has any, ah what was it?
Speaker: Like, if anybody has any issues with this marriage, please stand up and go away or some shit. Yeah, I wrote that into the vows. It's a point where they if anybody here feels has any objections feel that these two should shall not be married or has any objections, stand up and you know speak now or forever hold your peace.
Speaker: I rewrote that. yeah Thank you, thank you, Rock. I appreciate that, man. I'm very happy for me, too. I really gold. But I wrote ah wrote it for the officiant to say this.
Speaker: Anybody here who has a ah who doesn't agree with this union, doesn't want to see these two married, please stand up, remain quiet, and exit the fucking building. Yeah, dude.
Speaker: ah Yo, everybody laughed and was clapping. It was awesome. But I did stand up. Did you see I stood up for a second, like I started to stand up just to make a joke.
Speaker: But then I was like, no, I'm not going do that. I was just relic on the great fucking laughter I got from everybody. yeah Yeah. Well, I got laughter too, because whatever fuck you mean.
Speaker: We should have a fucking stand up shit together. i love that joke. You did. That was awesome. Everybody laughed and clapped.
Speaker: nobody stood up except for me
Speaker: and it wasn't because i'm against sue i love you guys i fucking love you guys it was just to make a joke it was the wrong time wrong place listen if you're gonna goof off at a wedding ours was the one to do it Okay. Well, I didn't even stand up all the way. I just like went,
Speaker: I made a couple people laugh around me. Yeah. and They were laughing at my joke. I wrote in there. Thanks. Nice try though. Yeah. Whatever. Fuck you, dude.
Speaker: Oh, they definitely, do they definitely laughed at your shit for sure. That's why didn't know what was going on with anybody. I was just too busy relishing. Yeah. Relishing the success of that joke.
Speaker: limping around because you're stepping on a fucking nail like a fucking idiot. Only me, man.
Speaker: Only me. Literally. Right before your wedding. The day before, yeah. But, hey, you, i i give you so many freaking props because you limped around that motherfucking wedding and took care of shit and fucking you were on point.
Speaker: Fuck yeah, dude. It had to be a great day for Sue. Yeah. You killed it. It was an awesome day. at some point, I got too drunk. I got not too drunk. Well, yeah, I did get too drunk, but not after.
Speaker: But I got don't know if she had put me more. was, like, in feeling no pain. was great. Oh, fuck. This thing doesn't keep falling out. Oh, my God. The after party after the after party. The after after party.
Speaker: um down there yeah okay wasn't gonna say i wasn't gonna say it i didn't know if you wanted me to say the name or not um yeah and yeah bug me day of the week the underground lounge downtown warren ohio fucking fabulous food fucking fabulous employees they're good friends of mine they're like fucking family and that is that is my comedy home in my hometown ah the under mother fucking ground is dope killer spot killer spot killer spot I literally, like, I didn't expect it to be what it was when I, like, because I walked into the hotel and it's all like, meh.
Speaker: And then I would go downstairs and it's just fucking chill as shit. All the lights and the fucking pool tables and everything. Like, fuck yeah, dude. That place is dope.
Speaker: Yeah, it's an awesome spot. And again, i love performing there because I take that whole back room over, that side room. there's no bar noise there's no i mean you don't have to compete with anything it's it's a comedy club for that one night we're doing i'm doing a show there yeah and then when i was there um a couple of the employees that worked there after you left they were like oh you were you were part of copenhagen what's your life close enough
Speaker: Michael's wedding. Right. i was like, yeah, that's my dude. Yeah. the Big supporters, big supporters. Love those people, man. They're all fucking awesome.
Speaker: Good. Every last one of them they They work hard and they, it shows.
Speaker: I want to see you do stand-up sometime, honestly. i need to come up there again and drive myself this time. All right, that's a quick dig. Sorry.
Speaker: um the I'm going to drive myself to Ohio to see you do some stand-up. Well, as long as there's not a bunch of family in town, you can crash here for free and instead of get an hotel.
Speaker: Word. And the comedian that comes in from out of town always has an offer. If you don't want to go home that night and you don't want to stay in a hotel, you can always crash here for free. I'll even feed your breakfast in the morning.
Speaker: um Well, I don't really eat breakfast anymore, but that's so sweet. Thank you. You're the best, dude. That's my bro. What I say? Single Britney? Yep, that's me.
Speaker: Sort of. It's complicated. Yeah. buts yeah right So what are you doing? Quick question. Yeah. Free food. Free for you. fucking food yeah ah ahll I'll get a doggy bag with it.
Speaker: I'm in Northeast Ohio. I'm in the big city of champions. I call it the big city of champions. I'm about 20 minutes, maybe 25 from the PA border.
Speaker: I'm 50 miles pretty much due east of Cleveland. The only city you've heard of near me is Youngstown, Ohio. And I am about 15, maybe 17 miles north of Youngstown.
Speaker: I have your address, motherfucker. You know that, right? Yeah, it's all good. and and yeah Please. You better watch out. Please come. Let turn that. That's a bit far.
Speaker: Oh, jeez.
Speaker: Let's book and go. For real, man. Come on. Let's book and go. If ah you give me a little heads up, any of you guys that perform, Rock Lee, for instance, I'll get you booked, brother.
Speaker: Oh, Rocky. he can totally do it. I don't know about Shaman, though. He's... Nah.
Speaker: Shaman, in my opinion, has all the goods. He's got the brain. He's got the mind for it. No, he's funny. could definitely to stand up. He...
Speaker: He's like, I'm just kidding. Sean, you're cool people. He just pissed me off sometimes. Since you're active in the chatterbox and you're not answering, well, Benji did, and you guys have asked some questions here and there, but what about comedy would you like us to talk about in the future?
Speaker: Yeah, that's a good question. give us Help us make you more happy with us. help us help you yeah that's already a thing but whatever depends on who's there rock missed the beginning of the show so what did tell you tell my oh my mother you know what to say you what to say
Speaker: Fuck you. That's what the fuck I'm going to say.
Speaker: We talked about how comedians hate when they come up, like if people come up to them, people ask them what their best joke is.
Speaker: It's not a comfortable thing. And we fucking hate it. And my fucking headphone fell out again. oh But I gave you one you can use.
Speaker: I smoked so I forgot. If someone comes up and asks me, oh tell me a joke.
Speaker: so i already forgot it, dude. I just smoked a ball. Tell them whether or not you want to tell a joke to rock.
Speaker: But what I say when when a fellow finds out I'm a comedian, ask me to tell him a joke. I say the same thing to a man every single time they ask me that. Hey man, here's a pre joke for you.
Speaker: Anytime you're ready, you're in the bathroom. If there's another dude or somebody else in that bathroom with you, make sure they don't see you touching your penis. Because it's illegal to touch a little boy's penis.
Speaker: I forget that. I'm going to forget it again. yeah be the court I can it for every time Every time you're in the bathroom, the joke's in your hand.
Speaker: But again, that's not necessarily accurate. I mean, not every comedian is a storyteller. Not every comedian has that larger narrative. There are some people that are one-liner for one-liner for one-liner.
Speaker: that I appreciate the laughter. Brock, appreciate that, man. It's different types of comedy. Like you said, you don't like doing crowd work, but some people are good at it.
Speaker: You know, it's it's whatever you're comfortable with. And you're obviously fucking funny. um It's the only reason why I talk to you.
Speaker: Yeah, it just kind of depends on the comedian. I mean, there are up and comers I've never even heard of that are just now hitting. And I'm so happy i accidentally found them on the YouTube and stuff like that.
Speaker: But I know a lot of comedians that I've worked with in the past and that I know, but like i don't even watch comedy anymore. i don't even watch comedy because I don't want to... let that influence me or whatever.
Speaker: Right. And influence your jokes or whatever. Yeah, I get that. I totally get that. But also, it also kind of fucking helps me at the same time. I'll watch like small little bits, like small little clips of comedy stuff. Like even on my Spotify, I have...
Speaker: comedy shit. Mark Norman is the best at one-liners, but some of his best jokes tie into previous one-liners. Yeah, that's the thing with comedians that I feel like happens.
Speaker: Like they come back and repeat the same shit and that's just not as funny anymore. that a nice Okay, so that's why you said you stop listening to comedy?
Speaker: I don't. I listen to it all the time. I love comedy. I listen to it all the time, too, but I have stopped it because a lot of the comedians do repeat their same shit, and it's like, all right, it's getting old.
Speaker: Well, if you're listening to the same clips over and over. No, sometimes I will. If they're funny, I will. Yeah. If I can get it done before I fucking die, have a special ready to go. i just have to film it somewhere.
Speaker: Fucking do it, dude. Once that happens, every fucking story in that special is now retired. I'm not taking stories on the road.
Speaker: Really? No. Maybe at the very, very end of the night. ah do a couple greatest hits, something like that. But no, I'm going to do, I'm going to do because if they were gracious enough to support me by buying that fucking special, right.
Speaker: I'm going to give them their ticket price. i know you wouldn't even, that's what they already have. You wouldn't even do like one or two shows to show that to the people in person.
Speaker: Because like you said, it's hard to take comedy from a video. So you wouldn't do it in person if they were paying for it. Again, i feel that just this is just me personally and a lot of other people feel this way.
Speaker: It's like music and comedy aren't the same thing. Oh yeah, definitely. I mean... To me, like I've again, some really, really solid compliments from even other comedians who I find very fucking funny.
Speaker: They've seen me a bunch of fucking times because we do a lot of the same shit together. And they'll say, i know that fucking punchline is coming. And I still have it makes me laugh every goddamn time.
Speaker: Yeah, exactly. That's why I'm saying, why wouldn't you want to... As long as it's funny, it doesn't matter. if it has If it's really fucking funny, it has staying power. It'll hit again and again and again.
Speaker: But I feel that yes if I put it on a special... Again, maybe if I'm going long or something, I'll give them a couple of greatest hit stories if they want to hear some of the old shit again, just for fun.
Speaker: But I'm going to give them an entirely new set because I want them to get their money's worth. I saw Ron White. I'm going to call him out by name. I saw Ron White. And I wasted 45 fucking dollars.
Speaker: Because fucking gave me every fucking story he told that night was from a special or blue collar. Not one new fucking story, not one.
Speaker: I wasted $45 to hear shit I've already heard. Yeah, no, I get that. It was, but it was also immensely disappointing. Yeah, no, I get that. Sorry, turning the light down. That's,
Speaker: no, I understand. The two years I was talking about Shaman was for my um my hour I've got ready to go. but I still have fucking close to another hour of other shit.
Speaker: It just doesn't fit that first hour.
Speaker: oh you have one joke that you could tell us?
Speaker: No, nevermind. Nevermind. Nevermind. I just complained about that shit. And that's what I'm saying. by the grace of the universe, if but that if by the grace of the universe first i get lucky and get i catch fire somehow and end up being able to tour and i'll give them a whole new set but at the end people are still hanging out still having fun i got a little time to play with yeah i'll hit some of the greatest hits just if they want to hear that shit yeah just if they want to i just don't believe that
Speaker: Well, see, that's the thing. Like, I'll watch some comics, like, their specials or whatever, and they have repeat. They do have repeat ah people in the, whatever the fuck.
Speaker: God, I can't speak. Words are hard. They'll be out. They have repeat people coming back to see them. they still love it. And, you know what I mean? Like,
Speaker: So that's why I'm saying like you should not just, I feel like, no, i don't want to say you're giving up, but.
Speaker: wow I just feel that it it's my job to be entertained. Well, yeah, and that's why you shouldn't fucking stop. Even if you do a special, don't fucking stop.
Speaker: Well, not going to stop doing comedy. I'm just going to stop doing those stories. Oh, okay. Well, yeah. I'm not going to quit comedy. Fuck that. addicted this shit. need it. I need comedy.
Speaker: That's what I thought you were saying. I thought you were saying you're just going to quit comedy altogether. The stories on that special are now done. Okay. Okay. All right. i'm fan If I put out an hour, that hour is retired.
Speaker: Unless people are outing in the show, oh, don't hear it again, I'll give it to him at the end. but they're going to get new material because they deserve new material. They paid a fucking price just to see me.
Speaker: I'm not going to give them what they can get on Netflix or whatever. Yeah, I said Netflix. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're such a dad. no okay i totally misunderstood what you were saying because i thought you were saying you were retiring from comedy completely once you do that and i was like fuck you know you're not yeah i need to do comedy i'm not doing it nearly as much as i want to and it does get to me but this is really filling in that void quite a bit uh
Speaker: I'm really fortunate to have got in with the Nonsensical Network. and i I just say that with nothing but fucking purest appreciation for you guys. All of this, man. I felt at home on day one here.
Speaker: The audience is fucking great, you guys. man This is my second favorite thing I do. I love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love to have you here.
Speaker: I was here before you, bitch.
Speaker: I agree with the Jedi. Some people are like that. Music and comedy is different. They know exactly what's coming every step of the way, but they still want to hear it. yeah like You don't say i will won' go to a Journey concert to not hear Don't Stop Believing.
Speaker: Exactly. Yeah, right. So, okay, Lazy Jedi gets my fucking point.
Speaker: Like, people go back to see the same content because they think it's fucking funny and it still makes them laugh. Like, I'll rewatch comedy bits on my phone because it makes me laugh.
Speaker: Same. but in But it's free. True. I paid $45 to see Ron White and I was fucking pissed off and disappointed. Nothing was new. Not one new fucking story. I was fucking juiced that shit.
Speaker: now Yeah. I guess you made a point. But you're funnier than me. I so.
Speaker: You're welcome. brow bro bro i can only say thank you very much for saying that but i mean dude dude has been there and he's done that he' i know he is out of the dude he's very very funny and he does he's he does have some light he has some funny shit but like he also has money so like Sorry, I don't to... I'm not calling you poor.
Speaker: He probably had some hookups, you know what I'm saying? ah Sorry. That $45... I didn't catch what you were trying to say, honestly. It's all good. I don't give
Speaker: a fuck. That $45 paid for all the free jokes you've heard of in the previous... that Okay, Simon, you can hang. show up, bro.
Speaker: Show up. I had to pay for Comedy Central to watch Blue Collar Comedy Tour. Yeah. oh There are other apps that have... Never mind.
Speaker: We're not going to get into that. But I won't go and pirate anybody's comedy. like No. If it's not released... by the actual comedian, it might come up on accident, but I don't search out like free streaming for comedians. I like, yeah you know what I mean?
Speaker: guess I wouldn't want to rob them of the, what they deserve. And that's still getting that. Like a a lot of guys still put, I'll use bill Burr as an example. I don't remember which one it was, but he put out a, uh, he put out a kind of previous favorite.
Speaker: He put out a comedy called, I don't know what the name of it was, but he, it was released straight to his website and you streamed it for, I don't know, five bucks or something like that. um And you didn't own it, you could watch it.
Speaker: Like you got one time one use link or whatever. And after he got so many views for the five bucks a pop, he released it for free.
Speaker: That's what you should do.
Speaker: Wish I could. That's what you should do. Fuck yeah, dude. Oh, fuck ass balls. I am super good.
Speaker: And that's what I've said. I mean, comedy might have saved my life. I mean, as far as I'm concerned, it did. Between comedy and Sue. Yeah.
Speaker: Sue saved my life last year. Yeah. I'd say that. She's a freaking angel. But i'll tell I'll tell you a million times again, over and over, I've never been more broke in my entire life. But I've never been happier either.
Speaker: Right. See, it's not... making the world go around Exactly. It helps. At the end of the day, I'm not a stuffed person. I don't need a lot of stuff. Right. Materialistic things don't them broke. not in collectibles for Star Wars, specifically Vader, a lot of Super Vader, but that's something... That's for show.
Speaker: That's for show. Something I love that makes me happy to see it. But you're not a hoarder. So don no. shit. No. When I had to move. Moving out of it to come here to help out with my folks.
Speaker: I threw away probably easily 70% of all my shit went in a dumpster.
Speaker: I couldn't believe some of the shit I was hanging on to. I did that Japanese thing where you look at it or hold it in your hands and it doesn't bring you happiness, toss it. Right. let go of a lot I've definitely, that's literally what I've been going through lately, which is why I haven't been the podcast all the time.
Speaker: Um, going through all my shit, trying to get rid of it, oh you know, materials. No, what I don't know the fucking word. Words are hard.
Speaker: Just getting rid of shit, basically, and taking it to Goodwill or selling it just so I can have less stuff. Yeah.
Speaker: yeah unless you make it big the comedy life is not as glamorous as most think uh yeah well i don't know what you mean that okay i've had a time think what he's saying is like uh for example um i think i'm gonna sum up what he's saying in a real life anecdote i went on uh let's see it was three states three states nine cities 13 days a tour with a headliner thanks shawty and uh
Speaker: I didn't even break even. I lost money on that trip. And I did it at the bare fucking minimum. Was it so worth it? Absolutely, fucking lo man. I'll never exactly never not remember that experience. I'll never not remember that experience. And my website, which is still not up yet.
Speaker: Be patient, gang. Be patient. I said two weeks, two weeks ago. I'm going to say two weeks again. It's a lot of work. Revamped. it's a lot of ways we re revamped But yeah, man, after that trip, I added like 300 and change new fans on my website.
Speaker: Cause I got find a fan club. It costs nothing to join my fan club. And again, the the experience was everything. The experience was everything. experience, that's what makes it. And it was practice that like made you like,
Speaker: have your jokes and like finesse you finessed your jokes you know what i'm saying every time you're stage you should be working on that shit that's what i working your minutes working your minutes is working your minutes you don't tell it the same way every single time maybe change the order of things uh different inflection in your voice add something different to it change something i mean if you tell it the same way every single time you're not working your minutes because it starts one way and it ends one way more which is also why i Which is also why I was saying, well, no, you already made your point.
Speaker: If you have a special and it comes out, you're going to want to work new jokes. Okay, never mind. I'm just going to quit.
Speaker: yeah I've got a lot of material that won't go in that first hour because it doesn't fit as well as some other stuff does. ah got Oh my fucking god, this earbud won't stop falling out.
Speaker: We can make a joke out of that shit. Let's go. Three stories on that trip I picked up that work really well. I've had a lot of fun doing it, and that's the thing. i mean it's Where was your favorite place?
Speaker: My favorite place? Yeah, the favorite place that you ever told jokes at.
Speaker: You don't want to say it, dude. No, it's tough.
Speaker: I mean, I've had really excellent sets at a bunch of different places. But, oh man, I think I'm gonna have to go with,
Speaker: you know, the Wise Guys in Vegas, man, was fucking amazing. The in Vegas, yeah. Wise Guys in Vegas was amazing. um The underground is awesome. I love doing comedy there.
Speaker: Oh, yeah. I loved that place. I loved that place so much. When I went down there, was like, what the fuck? There's a place in Akron. It's called Jilly's Music Station or Jilly's Music something. I can't remember exactly.
Speaker: okay And that's where i did that's where I did my set for the World Series of Comedy. And I did other sets there too. Other things there too. And I just, I love that place every single time.
Speaker: I love that place. I don't know what it was, but it's like two people in front of me could do mediocre or poorly and come in and come and go, man, this is a tough room. This is a tough room. This is a tough room.
Speaker: No, it's great room. Because id go out there and fucking kill every time I'm there. Every single time. Crush that fucking spot. But I don't do comedy there anymore, I don't think.
Speaker: Oh, well, for Ben, Ben, no, I don't, I don't know what to say.
Speaker: When I went to Comedy Mothership and Sunset Strip couple months ago, I saw a ton of big name comedians working out new material. It was clearly not polished, but funny as fuck and being polished.
Speaker: Wait.
Speaker: Okay. Being polished. Yes. Okay. um That's another part of working material. yeah Cut out things that don't work as well. And if it's if it doesn't lead to laughs quick, just dump it. It's it's extraneous. It's not necessary. Like have a string on your shirt that's loose. You have to sew up your shit again.
Speaker: Sorry, that's maybe, oh my God, just a female thing?
Speaker: oh I don't know. Dude, I honestly. talking You talk a little bit for a while. No, you. Yeah, I got you, Jed. I know what you're saying. They're working there're they're working their minutes. Working on shit.
Speaker: Do you want to take a break or call it? Because we've been on here for a while, so. We've got 90 minutes in. Yeah.
Speaker: Wanna call it? Do you? I think you you owe the audience a little more talking. You haven't been talking much. I have been talking. Listen, gonna go pee.
Speaker: Make people laugh. and Okay. Alright. I will try my best. Here. Lazy Jedi. This one's for you. i got you, dude.
Speaker: Okay, somebody come up in here. All right. um so Craig Robinson, i brought him up earlier.
Speaker: he is in the office, obviously. He's awesome. He's also in Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Hot Tub Time Machine, and the one show that I really wanted to specifically talk about that Craig Robinson is a part of is Killing It.
Speaker: And it's with Claudia O'Darity. um don't know how to say her name, but she plays as Jillian. And so the basic premises of the story is that Craig Robinson, he's separated, divorced from his wife, and he's trying to make a job. Like he is just trying to make money basically to live life.
Speaker: So he finds this, um, little paper thing about killing snakes and you can make $50,000 and that's how much money he needs to make to do his fucking shit.
Speaker: I'm doing great guys, right? um So anyways, He is fucking hilarious. He meets up with Jillian and they become partners to try to go find snakes to make this money together.
Speaker: And it's hilarious.
Speaker: You're distracting me
Speaker: And...
Speaker: So they go around looking for anacondas. That's the snake. And they have to take him back to make money. And it's just fucking hilarious, to be honest.
Speaker: And I also like the part that Craig Robinson, his ex-wife in the show, she speaks sign language, which I am like,
Speaker: all about. I feel like everybody needs to learn sign language 100%. hunt upset At least the alphabet. Like A, B, C, D. It's not that fucking hard, dude.
Speaker: I'm losing my hearing. So, and I have a lot of hard hearing and deaf family members. So it's ASL. Let's let's go Let's get on it.
Speaker: You said you speak. OK, shaman, I can't with you, dude. I can't.
Speaker: That's not even how you spell it, first of all. Braille? Is Braille? Is that how you spell it? Yeah. Dude, I'm usually good with spelling. Oh, damn, I fucked up.
Speaker: Do it in sign language, bitch.
Speaker: Do they have big buns? Otherwise, Anakin...
Speaker: Oh, Jedi. Oh, Jedi. Get your fucking ass in here.
Speaker: your fucking plain ass in here. Chatters box, do us a favor, help us out. What do you want to hear or know more about comedy or see us discuss about comedy or join the discussion about comedy?
Speaker: Because we're gonna make this a comedy centric show. Yeah, Wednesdays of comedy. I can talk all day, all night, all day again about comedy. That never bores me, it never gets me tired. i love talking about what I love to do.
Speaker: I'll tell you tell it in a real way, too. i'm not going to sugarcoat anything and I don't make bullshit up. You to hear I'll give you the straight dope.
Speaker: For reals.
Speaker: The straight dope. Yeah, I'm old.
Speaker: I think we're going to put a fork in this one. We've done an hour and 40 and that's long enough. I've still got to get my trash outside and I have to go deliver some mousetraps real quick.
Speaker: i'm fuck I'm fucking hungry, silly. Thank you guys, everybody, for coming out to meet us and talk and chant.
Speaker: It was dope-ass time. sure. can't Thank you, thank you. Like, share, subscribe. i And yeah, um let us know what you would like.
Speaker: to see next time we are on here next wednesday for the comedy club already
Speaker: i can't do this michael help me yes it i can't press it's not my laptop i can't press it
Speaker: Do the outro.
Speaker: Oh, I have so many questions that need to be done when you two sexy honkies come up. Thank you for respecting the title. I am 100% a honky.
Speaker: Let us know when, guys. Reach out. Jedha, you got my phone number, dude. Use it. Hit me up. Let me know. We'll work something out Yo, sneak me his number. Appreciate everything. Brittany, what do you got to say I don't know. I'm trying to fucking do this outro.
Speaker: Jesus Christ.
Speaker: Nonsensical network, different flavor every day Movie talks, new flips, hitting the display Microphone magic, musicians spill the praise From reptiles to motorsports, burning rubber craze Football crashes, touchdowns, epic plays News spinning, catching on the tales, word and stories we embrace Tune in, tune in, every week diverse Groove to the beats, let the rhythm immerse Lyrics flowing
Speaker: but the vibe's just right, tune in, tune in, wait for that beat, flow
Speaker: on repeat
