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SPOOKY SZN - Cuckoo
16 Plays7 months ago
The year is 2024. Enrique has realized that the crew is acting differently once German men play a flute. Weird.
Is Enrique and Julia weird? Are we always off to a horrible start? Is it okay to talk about Halloween in August? Do you like iHop? What are your thoughts about pumpkin flavored items? Is it all semantics? Have you seen Cuckoo? What do you think about weirdness in horror? Did this gross you out? Was the dad an asshole? Is this movie a little too all over the place? Where is the goo going?
Thank you for listening! Watch Cuckoo and enjoy!
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Transcript
Halloween in August: Pumpkin Spice & IHOP Tales
00:00:00
Speaker
Do you want to like walk in the dark first before? but we can say What I don't know what you're talking about No, that's cool. It's cool. All right, let's go Are you sure yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah cuckoo y'all fucking weird Man we're off to a terrible start as always another episode of what we saw last night Um, this is probably going to be like a Halloween episode because we're recording in August. Um, so yeah, let's get into it. Like seasonal, um, Um, pancakes. What pancakes? No, like they, they, well, yeah, they, they, they dropped the pancakes. So they said they're.
00:00:56
Speaker
um At the end of the week, they're going to drop a new pumpkin spice item to celebrate fall um in the middle of August. It coincides perfectly because we're starting. This is our Halloween episode, I guess. No, that's cool. I mean, I don't like pumpkin spice, but I understand the culture behind it. I don't think I want it unless it's pancakes. I don't like any pumpkin spice beverages or anything.
00:01:25
Speaker
But if it's like a baked item, that's fine. So like pancakes they're definitely going to have. Some people were saying that it's going to be like a pumpkin roll kind of thing. I don't know. I like it pumpkin roll. Yeah. When was the last time anyone went to IHOP? When my sister graduated in like 2014. I do be going to IHOP sometimes. Like I'm not opposed to it. I remember when they had like the Adams family meal.
00:01:56
Speaker
I've been to IHOP two times in my life, the first time in like 2014 when my sister graduated from Delaware or University of Delaware or whatever that place is called. No, I thought she, what? She went to Delaware? No, dan no my my older sister.
00:02:16
Speaker
My older sister, what's the, I forget the name of the school, but somewhere in Delaware. And then the other time I had it was when my little sister was working at IHOP and they just, op it was like three days new and violent. And it was like probably the worst experience I've ever had. Cause the cooks were so slow, but yeah, that's, I would try a pumpkin something only cause of spooky season.
Halloween Horror Movie Recap
00:02:46
Speaker
Man, there's nothing scarier than a gourd. Let's get into it. Um, so like I was thinking for this episode, we'll do like a horror kind of recap. We'll ease into it. This could be like Halloween light celebration of the horror culture. Um, so I want to do a movie montage where you guys give us some of your favorite, um, characters, either male, female quotes, kills, killers.
00:03:13
Speaker
Um, that have we have experienced through this year and I was going to say maybe extended to last year too. Um, cause as we're halfway through this year, I do think this year we started out slow with horror and now we're picking up. So, um, what are some of the more memorable characters? So, okay. Let's take a trip down memory lane.
00:03:37
Speaker
If I can remember correctly, and I can probably filter it with hard, but if I can remember correctly, there wasn't many kills that stand out outside of in violent nature. Um, I feel like everything else was just everything else. Um, but I need to think, well, yeah, cause then violent nature, violent nature had the creative kills. Yeah. No, no, no. I don't disagree with that. I was.
00:04:07
Speaker
Just keep going then. Oh, I want to add something. All right, so I'm gonna I'm gonna kind of like I'm gonna kind of go back to let's say ah August of last year so August of last year Let's see we had and we're talking. What are we on? kills, right Sure. Okay, so if we're talking kills and Since last year, just thinking, going off the top of my head and really just looking at my letterbox, I can't think of any that are like, that stand right out. I mean, when Evil Lurks had the, when Evil Lurks had the dog, that was, um that was pretty fucking gnarly.
00:04:59
Speaker
I think Evil Lurks had two big kills. The dog and the axe. Ah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, so far when evil when Evil Lurks, would you consider Godzilla because it comes up as horror on Letterbox? Yeah, I mean, if you want to do Godzilla minus one destroying all of Japan. Hmm, let's put a pin on that.
00:05:27
Speaker
Cause I do, but it's that's that's easy though, you know? There wasn't none in January.
00:05:36
Speaker
Let's see. I watched a couple of shitty movies. Um, sacrifice game. Did that have? That, I don't know, that had a lot of memorable, I feel like scenes. Yeah, but I don't think it had kills. When that guy fucked his teacher or or fucked that old lady.
00:05:58
Speaker
well i guess uh let's see now because we started off pretty weak they have any kills in sting that were pretty cool i think but i don't remember well here's one the the the here's one the last well the kills in late night with the devil Yes, that was the one I was thinking you were leaving out. Yeah, those were phenomenal. Those were hands down. Those were probably top notch. That ending when she just obliterates them. That's beautiful. Yeah, she just zaps this fucking dude and fries him. Yeah, so that I would say that's probably it.
00:06:53
Speaker
oh I don't see Abigail had a lot of kills, but none of them were good to to where I can. I would say that in a violent nature had the yoga kill, which I guess you can consider that i love top, like a top notch creative kill. That's like, well, I guess memorable. I guess I'm looking for more memorable. Uh, maybe Maxine with the car, like when but when she killed Kevin Bacon in the car, I mean, I was kind of funny.
00:07:25
Speaker
And I think that's it.
00:07:30
Speaker
I'm gonna give you worst kill and it's probably, the it's probably the blind sister in Oddity when she fell down the fucking hole because she's blind. That's probably the worst kill. Yeah, I would say late night with the devil and probably in the violent nature, you could you could argue for those three kills. For the doctor,
00:07:53
Speaker
which i think was the weakest the skeptic which i think was tied for that and in the violent nature don't do it do you have any kills to add i'm thinking of in a violent nature when the guy was like paralyzed and he's like cutting his limbs off he's paralyzed oh you know what that one was good too yeah fucking loser The cop who you thought was going to be like somewhat a badass, but then just fucking. And then in Maxine, the guy she kills in the alleyway. She didn't kill him though. Oh, we wish he was dead. I still think that counts. Yeah, like I feel like.
00:08:36
Speaker
It's close enough. He wishes he was dead. We don't know if he died or not. So that's fair. He could have been dead. He could have been dead. I would just kill myself after that. After that, are you really going to go to the hospital and be like, this is what happened? You will probably just lay there and bleed out. Yeah, it's the 80s, too. They're going to be like, a woman did that to you. So yeah, OK. And he's like, what is it, Buster Keaton outfit? He had makeup on and face paint.
00:09:07
Speaker
yeah its weary it this weird little out to show up to the emergency room. Yeah, like you're in so much pain.
Humorous & Shocking Horror Scenes
00:09:15
Speaker
It's like a Halloween costume. like Do I go home and change or do I just go like this? I don't think you have the option to go home and change. Like you either go to the hospital or you die. you You would think that, but when my appendix burst, my dad still went home and took a shower and took me to Burger King with a burst appendix.
00:09:39
Speaker
So I think that guy could have probably, at least- He's like frantically like rubbing his makeup off with his shirt, trying to make it. Yeah. I think it's he already was, he already had took his clothes off. So all he had to do was just put oh that's true new clothes on. so No, cause that's like, he's in so much pain. Do you like, he's like struggling to put his clothes back on. I didn't think about that. I guess they were like, sir, why are your pants inside out? like Oh, okay. I don't know if this is like memorable. I don't even know if it counts as a kill, but the, um, when she's in, uh, I think it was a immaculate when she slams the baby with a rock. Oh, oh, hell yeah. Oh, yeah. Does that count as a kill? we This is like an abortion topic. Like, yeah, I mean, it was born. It was fully a baby. Oh, okay. I forgot about that. Yeah. Or a pub. We don't know. Yeah. Like it was out laying on the ground. It wasn't,
00:10:42
Speaker
I'm thinking of in the exorcism when the other actor dies, like he's possessed and like smashes his face into the mirror. Oh yeah, that was that was pretty good. I think the priest burned too there. We had a lot of people burn this year. The priest that absorbed the devil, I think he burned to death. Yeah.
00:11:13
Speaker
So overall, we have had some decent kills. I think we are in like a little like a little bit of a ah lull with kills. like We're not seeing like some over-the-top... We're seeing creative imagery. um Like Lisa Frankenstein or or any like a lot of the other movies movies that we didn't mention had a lot of creative imagery and like really good build-up, but the kills are or like average yeah they're like because didn't didn't he accidentally kill he accidentally killed the the stepmom right yeah like wasn't it like a accidental blooper real kill like weird what at least a frankenstein frankenstein oh oh yeah they like accidentally killed wasn't an accident or did he just do it
00:12:12
Speaker
I don't think it was an accident to him. I feel like it's all semantics. Lisa was like, what the hell? But I think he meant to, right? Probably. I'm going to have to rewatch that movie. But I see what you're saying, though, Pat, where it's like, like, they don't know. I see what you're saying, because they're they're all kind of. They're just like and it's like natural stuff, you know, but.
00:12:41
Speaker
um In Immaculate, anyone that died was just like a natural, like a natural movie possession demon kind of kill, except for when she picked up a rocket and, you know, eim what have actually murdered the chicken in Immaculate. I felt bad for her. I mean, does she kill the chicken? Yes. Yeah, like when she pretends to be in labor and there's blood everywhere and they find the dead chicken under the bed. Yeah.
00:13:11
Speaker
That was just wild. right I think that further goes to like maybe that's not like a kill, but like the the imagery and the atmosphere. mean, the chicken was dead. i Yeah, I think the chicken would disagree, but what a waste of a chicken, though. you know I mean, you've got to do what you've got to do. They ate it afterwards. I hope so. Yeah, the and even like in a movie like Stop Motion, which was like super eerie, super creepy, really weird.
00:13:41
Speaker
the kills were were good. They weren't bad, but they weren't like super, super memorable. Yeah. Yeah. I think there was just a lot of, if it, if it just, I think memorable maybe might be the word that we're looking for. Yeah. Like the memorable kills, like, like the one from, uh, in a violent nature, the yoga kill or, or the, like dave they had a number of good ones. Um, and like, and like definitely late night with a devil, like that's why, like,
00:14:11
Speaker
Yeah, those could have been just regular kills, but they were created, which makes it memorable. Yeah.
Horror Villains & Characters
00:14:20
Speaker
We're going to move on to killers. And I think this one will have a better, because I think we've had more memorable killers than actual kills. Well, OK. Well, we're thinking killers. Now, we're thinking killers. I'm going off of what killers I think had like tons of potential whether they did it or not because I really love Dracula from oh the demeanor. Yeah. So i I like that Dracula. No, you know, I'm leaving them a lot of it. He had a couple. Well, he the thing is, he don't even be doing, ah you know, people be doing it for him. So what about what about Saw X?
00:15:10
Speaker
Would you, would you, who was the actual killer in Saw X? um It was definitely Jigsaw. Yeah. I think John Kramer. Right, but doesn't, oh my God. Yeah, so. But does evil he really kill himself? Yeah, I mean, he kills a lot of people, I think. yeah I don't know what the death count in that is, actually. I mean, they don't,
00:15:37
Speaker
Yeah, because because the first two people to attempt their game die. Yeah. So let's see. and Again, I'm just going down my letterbox to get a refresher. Ooh. OK. Here's a good ooh, but then he killed. Oh, no, he didn't kill. OK. I was going to say the russian the little Russian guy from Destroy All destroy all Neighbors, but he I don't think he killed. He didn't. There was a lot. so He was just evil.
00:16:09
Speaker
he was just you just yeah the the na The nerdy guy was the killer. right That ended up being the the amalgamation of... like that that like some of the The kills were were were solid, but the fact that all of the body parts kind of fused together to some weird thing... Oh man, the movie's great.
00:16:35
Speaker
I would say then the devil, from Late Night with the Devil, AKA whatever the little girl's name is, I don't remember her name. Let's see, could we say... Nah, you know what, as much as I liked Abigail, I don't know if I liked Abigail the killer, more than I liked the supporting cast, so... Definitely whatever...
00:17:03
Speaker
you know, Friday the 13th to version, you know, the the Jason from Friday the 13th, like that variation of him in the violent nature. I don't know what was his name in the, did he have a name in the violent nature? It was like Charlie or Roberto or something. What was his name? Johnny. Johnny, Johnny. I know something like that. I guess Johnny.
00:17:29
Speaker
You know, as much as I didn't like the movie, maybe I would like it more if I saw it in a, in a, in like the spooky season. I do like a, I do love that like slow pace. I'm going to fucking walk and and still catch you kind of killer. So I would give him, I'd give him a thumbs up. Huh? Who else is a killer?
00:17:56
Speaker
There was, um... That's really it. Long legs. Yeah, I feel like long legs is the... Yeah, but I don't know if he... Was he, like, the best killer? No, but I feel like... He wasn't really going there. I feel like looking back, he's gonna be seen as, like, the iconic killer of the year, because he was, like, the most iconic, memorable serial killer. But he didn't even do his own bidding.
00:18:25
Speaker
Yeah, but he had a whole thing going on. he he did He did what he had to do. He was working with the devil. He made dolls. He made like ciphers. and He was just like a fuck, like the Riddler. The Riddler? Yeah, he made ciphers. and night Man, he was like the Zodiac Killer. That's probably a better... ah Yeah. That's probably a better... comparison it's like of that
00:18:58
Speaker
Yeah, I would i personally would go with Johnny Tsunami from Avana Nature. i really like I really like that slow pace. There's something frightening up to this day. There's something frightening about like they got on a fucking bike or a car. They hauled ass and still got killed, you know? But one of them.
00:19:28
Speaker
Like oh the the the dad from Maxine, I don't know if he's like like super memorable, but he was solid. And um I think the the point of contention this year is we had um the Strangers Chapter One and neither, no one said that. And they are already like an established, like iconic horror group.
00:19:56
Speaker
Yeah, them and the Watchers, I feel like, eh, I'm good, man. Like, if I ran into either one of them, I'd be all right.
00:20:08
Speaker
But if I ran into Johnny from in a violent nature, I might not be all right. The strangers, as much as I like those movies, I would never get caught slipping because I don't be answering the door. Here's the thing. And I feel like they're not allowed to get you until you answer the door at least once and they can say, is Tamara home? But if you don't answer the door and they don't ask you if Tamara's home, like they can't get you. i I want to agree with you on that. It's it's like if Ghostface calls you and you don't answer the phone, he's not going to get you because you didn't. He's just going to wait until you answer. Yeah.
00:20:55
Speaker
He ain't even leaving a voicemail. That's... Yeah, like Ghostface is not... Like, the strangers are not leaving a note on the door that says, like, we miss you. They're not putting, like, pamphlets in the... Didn't Ghostface text in the horror movies? He did. Ghostface text, so, I don't know. He was... I feel like he had to upgrade his policies. See, if Ghostface... If Ghostface was smart,
00:21:27
Speaker
Cause see back in like, back in like screen three era, you still had, you had two way, you had next cell. He was chirping you? Yeah, you had no way. He just, he just was chirping you and you, what what you going to do? You know, the thing is nobody sent alarm. Nobody sent alerts. They just chirp right through. And you spend that dollar. Cause that's how boost mobile work. You spend that dollar a day.
00:21:55
Speaker
He'll make you spend that dollar a day, so I don't know. Let's move on. All right. I was going to say, also, like less, maybe not memorable, but super weird and deserves a mention is the Ku Klux Klan ghost from A History of Evil. Oh. As far as killers go, that was pretty creative. I have no idea what that even is. it's It's just, it's weird because there was like this super weird racist fucking ghost.
00:22:24
Speaker
In this one movie. like he the The white guy was dating a Latino woman who was like trying to save the world to follow him. She was like the socialist like queen and trying to save America from from falling into right wing. And this like racist ghost from the Klan kept like talking to her white husband like, you know you hate this.
00:22:52
Speaker
Yeah, like... You know you hate this. You're really gonna get them tossed. You know you hate her, too. Why don't you come into my cellar and have a drink with me? That ba that moment is basically the prequel to the Civil War. Basically it is. Yeah. I guess, I guess, that ghost was pretty cool. I ain't gonna lie. It's such a wild concept. Okay, let let me back up. That ghost ain't cool, cause he... I mean, he was a fucking racist piece of shit, but...
00:23:23
Speaker
The idea of that, because think about it. It was very different. It was so different than anything we've seen. Right. That's what I'm saying. Think about it. Like, let's be real now. If you went to South and you run into a ghost, it's probably going to be racist. Yeah. That's just what it is. I mean, they probably only haunt, like they, they would probably rather just haunt their kind, you know?
00:23:52
Speaker
Like you can't, you can't haunt somebody that's not your kind down in the South. Like Mississippi, Alabama, them ghosts, they only hunting their kind. Haunting their kind, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Does anyone have any memorable quotes? I feel like we've been in down here for quotes.
00:24:16
Speaker
I can't remember any specifically. outside of a long legs yeah I feel like when he screams mommy daddy I'm thinking it seems I've worn my long legs today yeah no big there's there's ah there's some gems in long legs when he goes into the thing and he does all that weird hand motions like is today your birthday?
00:24:44
Speaker
like I just, every time you stand next to someone who's shorter than you, you have to be like, oh man, as soon as I've worn my long legs today. I'm going to start doing that to everybody. like everybody I've been doing that. You wouldn't know because you're taller than me, so I don't be saying it to you. Right. You need your long legs. You'd be forgetting. My son must have forgot my long legs today.
00:25:10
Speaker
That's such a wild, like that that was a great opening. Please, someone explain to me like why that for some reason was like the most terrifying, chilling scene of the movie and nothing could top that. Because the tempo of it was so perfect. Yeah, like when you when he goes, what happens if I do this? I was terrified, petrified. yeah And I was like,
00:25:39
Speaker
Holy shit, this movie is going to be so scary. And then like nothing happened. And there was like weird ass fucking dolls. And I was like, all right. um So I only remember this quote because over the weekend I heard it on TV. um But this was a really fucking cool. Like when Maxine was like, you do you know what happened to the last person who tried to kill me? I crushed her fucking head.
00:26:09
Speaker
that was pretty cool you know yeah i feel like maxine's got some maxine she had some good good like lines even if like it doesn't sound like her being like i deserve to be a star like well even even like um even like her agent had some fucking cool quotes he He's like, go home, study your lines. We'll take care of the mess right after they fucking squished up. What about um Kevin Bacon's character? That guy was off the wall. He was insane. Oh, yeah. He was such a fucking perv. But I mean, that dude, he fit the role, you know? Even, I mean, I feel like that movie, that movie had some fun lines, some stupid lines, but some fun lines, too. I feel like even the guy
00:27:00
Speaker
The movie story guy had like a good line, like one or two. Yeah. Oh, let's see. Who else might have had some good lines? I feel like, who? um I'm only gonna say, I don't remember it, but I'm sure Tara, just cause they had the one guy from Spider-Man and I think he's hilarious. I'm sure one of the things he said was great.
00:27:28
Speaker
So the thing is I'm also thinking of something, because I feel like that movie was actually a little better than I thought. I mean, 1 to 100, I got it. like if If I were to pick from 1 to 100 to rank it, it's like 12. But it was like a 10, maybe like a month ago. All right. Ian, I saw the TV glow.
00:27:54
Speaker
when she asked him, do you like girls? And he says, I think I like TV shows. <unk> smell on a boy he it is but i think there's a plus
00:28:05
Speaker
There's a lot of good lines in that. ah fucking do Also the part where he just spits on the cotton candy. Yes.
00:28:18
Speaker
I feel like that was like a really easy way to show cause there was obviously a lot of age progression with that character. And I saw him do that. I was like, Oh, okay. He's clearly supposed to be like 10, maybe 12 years old. He was older than that though, I think. But that's just such like a kid thing to do when you're eating cotton candy.
00:28:45
Speaker
I feel like Cuckoo has some cool lines, but that one was just so fucking... i um Cuckoo had some cool lines.
00:28:57
Speaker
like the They had some like very like out of the and the... The Detective, I feel like, had some good lines. Yeah, I can't really think of... The thing is, horror this year hasn't been as good.
00:29:14
Speaker
And I just thinking back on this year, I feel like we got a a lot of cool, like elevated vibes, but things that didn't really hit the mark. Like i I wasn't a big fan of, I saw the TV glow, long legs was okay, but I feel like it missed the mark a little bit, but a lot of these are like really high like level. like I think,
00:29:42
Speaker
for one, I think we've turned a corner because I feel like for so much of the year, Late Night with the Devil was just carrying the whole year. But like now, like I liked Maxine, I liked Long Legs, I liked Cuckoo. I feel like we've kind of turned this like corner and are like getting some decent, they're not like, it's not like home runs, but we're hitting triples. Yeah, I mean, I think Maxine was the the best film in that franchise so far.
00:30:16
Speaker
So Maxine really, I think, hit it out of the park. Yeah, I feel like Maxine is the movie if we're talking about and we're talking about horror. That's probably the movie. It's got probably the coolest characters. It's probably got one of the coolest kills. Maybe not the best, but you know it's got a couple cool kills. As much as I hate it when when they killed her her homeboy from the movie store,
00:30:45
Speaker
I mean, that was kind of fucked up. Like you slit his neck, the back of his neck, we didn't even slit his throat, you know? But yeah, I feel like Maxine definitely had the quotes. I feel like Kevin Bacon, I feel like they could have made Kevin Bacon say a lot more like Southern sayings, but saying wrong, like a hobby door. What about so i your your top characters like of the year, then like when you were to like look back What are characters that eat and like they don't have to be killers or survive but like who did you like or was portrayed? Well on screen. Oh, wow characters. Yeah but Margaret from the first omen. Yes All right. I've said this a few times And this isn't like probably that I would have to think this probably isn't like the best the best Actually, I'm a skip that I was gonna say I was gonna choose somebody from challenges, but I'm a skip that that's the obvious I
00:31:44
Speaker
Ryan Gosling in Far Guy was fine. I was going with horror, but okay. Yeah, like what happened? Oh, I thought you said, okay, okay. We're in the Halloween episode. We just spent like the past 30 minutes going over like every horror film from this year and you're like, all right, but the challenger's done.
00:32:06
Speaker
Oh, I forgot what day it was. Are you going to be Patrick July from Challengers for Halloween? Yeah, that's what I was going to do. I already have the shorts somewhere at the house. I already have his clothes. The thing is, I have his outfit. He looked like he looked like, yeah, like a fucking regular dude. Just lay in your car for a little bit. Yeah. And not shave for a while.
00:32:35
Speaker
Alright, but like I guess, okay, horror, definitely Maxine. Maxine was cool. Yeah, for sure. Like, her character alone was awesome. Like, whether or not the movie, and I love the movie, but her character was awesome. Yeah, matt max like Maxine was was cool. Like, and they agree you know her and um Kevin Bacon and Giancarlo Esposito.
00:33:03
Speaker
Oh yeah, chapter those those those three, yeah, yeah, oh yeah. Without a doubt. oh Let's see. I got this thing from Melissa Barrera, I don't know. I wanna say her from Abigail, but like I feel like that's not the move. If there's anyone from Abigail, it's the crew. But she kinda made it a lot, you know what I'm saying? Okay. She literally was the most insufferable character. I mean probably but you know she made it alive everyone else is dead. They were like literally the entire point was like no names do not speak to each other do not tell each other anything about your identity and she goes around the room and was like
00:33:54
Speaker
This is my little party trick. I'm going to say exactly where everyone's from and what they do and what their backstory is. Okay. So then it's like you dumb bitch. Okay. So we'll pretend I didn't say that. And I'll go with Lee Harker. I did kind of like, I liked her. Hell you yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. i The thing is I really love long legs because it was a detective movie for me.
00:34:21
Speaker
Like that's i probably why I like really enjoyed it, because it was a detective movie. I really like Long Legs. I like Long Legs. I like Parker. And I like um Blair Underwood's character. I think that they hit it. It might not be the perfect movie, but I think those three hit it out of the park. Yeah. Oh, yeah. cheey she's See, now, if I were to choose between her and Maxine, like just between those two characters, probably Maxine.
00:34:51
Speaker
But now, if I'm talking about characters in their worlds, then definitely fucking Lee Harker. Yeah. I think, like, we had such a dominant female year, because, like, um like yeah what was it, Sydney Sweeney and in and Immaculate and the first element of what was it, Tiger, Tyson Friese, I think.
00:35:19
Speaker
Yeah, Lupita was in the quiet place. Yeah, Lupita was in the quiet place and she acted very well in it. We're having such a strong female year. um Even like on like the smaller scales, like um that for some reason, like you know you look at Destroy All Neighbors, the two people I remember is the the neighbor who fucks off the fuck all night neighbor. And the the the lady who was just like, we're just going to talk to him and offer him tea. Yeah, there was a lot of female, there was a lot of female, like strong female leads in these movies. Even like some of the supporting characters, like the female characters are just ah executing better.
00:36:09
Speaker
um And like as for the men we you got like Nicolas Cage at Long Legs and ah The Exorcism i be Yeah, but see I didn't like his character in the Exorcism more than I did in the Pope's Exorcist There you know I'm saying like I think I put that in a consideration only because it was just so close to each other Now these movies were like ten years apart five years apart. You know I would have forgotten but they're so close together so I feel like his character here wasn't as good as his character there fair I will say though the narrator in satanic hispanics was he was pretty cool but I've been trying to think of something to put that in because that movie's too good to not be brought up yeah he was pretty cool then you had the
00:37:09
Speaker
Then you had the vampire who was too out of shape to run home. He wasn't going to make it in time. There's a lot of cool characters. There's definitely a lot of cool characters. All right.
Ranking Horror Directors
00:37:20
Speaker
Yeah, we're going to wrap this up. um At the end, I'm going to ask you guys to summarize the the year of horror so far. by So think of that while we have other conversations ah throughout. We're going to do a blind ranking because we haven't done this in a while.
00:37:39
Speaker
And I think these things are really dumb but fun. So if you got a pen and paper, get it out. I mean, I got my phone. Yeah, yeah anything. I'm going to give you guys six directors. You're going to blind rank them. All right. They're all horror directors who, for the most part, have produced movies recently. All right, shoot. ah Robert Eggers. He did The Witch. He's doing Nosferatu.
00:38:08
Speaker
He's got a couple other things on there. Um, so for one to six, where do you rank him? Well, these blind rankings are fucking ridiculous. One. Wait, is one the best or worst? Best. Okay. One. Okay. I will regret this. Yep. Yeah. He also did the lighthouse. Okay. Five. Wow. Wild. I mean, all right, Jordan.
00:38:37
Speaker
Jordan Peele. You got us, you got get out, you got um nope. oh ah Yeah, I'm going um'm going with three also. Next. Alright, James Wan. He's got a lot. Imma go two. Yeah, I'm saying two.
00:38:57
Speaker
ah um Ari Aster. Oh yeah, that dude's a six. What? He's got six.
00:39:09
Speaker
I'm going with four. A lot of it depends on your views on predatory mid-summer. Yep. ah That's the easiest one. All right. ah Sam Remy. Oh, God. His new movie just dropped. um We'll be seeing it and revealing it pretty soon. Five.
00:39:36
Speaker
Wow. Well, your next one is going to be six. Well, I have none left, yeah. Fair. M. Night Channel on. Christ. Well, six. I don't have any left. Yeah, yeah. I didn't know you were going to pick all good directors. I thought there would be some shitty ones. I thought about it. I had, like, the guy. You picked up the top six of all time, and we're like, ha ha. Yeah, I was going to throw in, like, some lesser known Or like may have like one director or that the guy who did like tarot But um, I thought it would be funny to do this or better to do this plus Yeah, and I had some movies, you know, everyone's kind of released a movie recently or has something coming out well I'll go down now write it out. I won't go down the list. Do we need to? but can we move on maybe can move on yeah let's move on So like
00:40:33
Speaker
We were talking about doing conspiracy theories, and we're going to do that soon.
Philadelphia Conspiracy Theories
00:40:37
Speaker
Probably our next episode for all of you. Here's our next episode. Conspiracy theories. But I've been doing some research on like local ones, and there's a lot of really dumb local Philadelphia area conspiracy theories. And I just wrote up some just to kind of introduce the thing. And um so I'm going to run through these. Feel free to read and respond. The number one, the biggest conspiracy theory in like PA, well, outside of voting, I will say that's the number one, like, a lot of people, there's a lot of voter fraud accusations and conspiracy theories revolving around the last election and Philadelphia and Pennsylvania. But outside of that, the number one in the area, the PA New Jersey, New York area is the Toyinbee tile. Me and Enrique have seen a few. I don't know, did I show you the the movie?
00:41:33
Speaker
I don't think so. Oh man, it is worth watching. I have it on DVD, it's also on Hulu. The idea of this crazy guy in South Philly that believes you can resurrect p dead people on the planet Jupiter and he went through great lengths to let people know. He was finding ways of tiling into cement and that was his way of letting people know. It's a fascinating thing.
00:42:02
Speaker
There's a lot of really great podcasts and documentaries on it. So if anyone's interested in like kind of weird, kind of spooky, but not that spooky things, this is a perfect conspiracy theory. And if you live in Jersey or like Philadelphia, you might come across one. So me and Enrique, I would say like, I, I thought I was the only person who but I thought I made this conspiracy theory up. The next one, the Santucci's versus Renzi's.
00:42:31
Speaker
And me and Enrique went and ate pizza at both places. same So the story is, and like ah but other people are onto them. I've done some like digging on the internet and other people. So there's a place called Santu Jis. It's very popular. They've got like, they're like nine franchises. They're in the Jersey shore. They're all over Philly. They're popular for a square style pizza with cheese.
00:43:00
Speaker
on the bottom and sauce on top. It is very good. And Renzi's, which has two locations. And oh, so the story is Santucci's opened up in like outside of, a neighborhood outside of Kensington in like the 80s or late 70s or 80s. And then on the same street in the 90s, a pizza place like two miles down the road same road opened up called Renzi's and they make a circle style pizza but cheese on the bottom and sauce on top and they act like they invented this it is literally the same sauce me and Enrique tried it and like there's a a lot of heated battles over this also if people are interested in just dumb food things there's a lot of conspiracies around the Philadelphia hoagie wars
00:43:57
Speaker
the Beggle Wars, which like, there's certain Beggle companies that hire people and pay you to go work at another Beggle place so you could sabotage them. And like, there's like all these like crazy accusations and people denying it and the mobs involved. So there's a lot of like weird Beggle conspiracies around Philadelphia. I think if people like just dump things, that stuff's great to look up. The Philadelphia experiment is probably the most like well known or it used to be the most well known, but it isn't really talked about anymore. It was a big deal in like the eighties and nineties. And they made even a movie about a low budget movie. The Philadelphia experiment took place in the Navy yard. And there's a lot of like, I don't know, like I haven't done that much research on it, but so basically, um, the us in the, in the thirties,
00:44:54
Speaker
The US Navy was using UFO found technology to develop ships that could go undetectable and they messed up and they accidentally teleported a group of Italian Americans to the future.
00:45:11
Speaker
I just think it's funny because it's like all these people that work in like South Philly, all these like South Philly Italians in the 30s that are like starving. In the notes you put, it hungry Italians said to the future. Because everything I read was, so if you worked on this project, it was all the people lived in like an Italian neighborhood in South Philly and all the people, where they were fed once a day in the morning and like apparently they were worked really hard and the group of people that like teleported to the future were like starving. So like these like just hungry South Philly Italians appear like in the future. And I think that's hilarious. ah they did They just pop up at a Wawa. they're like They don't even know what it is, but they love it. They're like, yes. Oh, man. I don't know why I laughed so hard, but like there's
00:46:10
Speaker
There's like a lot of like documentation of like government trying to cover this up. And I've been meaning to look into it. It's it's funny. I feel bad for the families that may have lost people to like transporting in the future. Yeah, I'm gonna suck, because the future is cool. But just imagine, like I know someone that was in prison for five years, and they came out,
00:46:38
Speaker
And I was showing him, I had a, I think at this time I did have an iPhone, I had my first iPhone and he wanted to fucking kill me. He thought I was doing some like, he thought that like his goal was getting sucked into something. He couldn't grasp the concept of like telephones, you know, like just telephones. thought yeah which cra Yeah, it was five years. Just imagine if they got like,
00:47:03
Speaker
and pivot According to the movie, it's from the the late 30s to like the late 80s. So like your head just would explode. They get there and there's just like fucking boomboxes everywhere. What the fuck is happening? Boomboxes, people got wild hair and you're starving. Yeah. jesus this is Your head would fucking explode. They're like, hey, man.
00:47:33
Speaker
Do you want some Renzi's pizza? I thought, what the fuck is that? yeah the Why is the cheese so... Why does it taste like something called Santu cheese? Sorry. Yeah. there It would be wild. like I just think it's hilarious. um Because like I've read multiple cat like ah small accounts of it of people and they're just like, they were Italians and they were hungry and we sent them to the future. And I feel bad.
00:48:03
Speaker
For people who like sports, there's a ah lot of things about the secret rooms in Veterans Stadium. like One picture in the 70s, essentially what we we would know is a sensory friendly room, um but it's it was his mood room. and um like He wanted to be seen as a manly man, so like no one was allowed into it. But when they like eventually went in, the conspiracy theory is that it was a meditation room filled with Zen and like a picture of a waves and like he would have a recording of waves crashing and he would go and sit in there in the dark for hours and then he would go out and pitch. And give up like six so six runs.
00:48:53
Speaker
There's a lot of reports of like rich people owning apartments in the stadium and like having like weird like secret like entrances There's a lot of reports of people who just decided not to leave and live in the walls. There's like a conspiracy theory based on that they had a drug lounge for the players to do drugs, the players of the Eagles and the Phillies to do drugs and look at porn together. There's one story of George W. Bush going into that lounge and opening up a porno and sitting there and reading it. Nice. There's also, this has been denied repeatedly by
00:49:31
Speaker
the health inspector but a lot of people report that the rat problem was so bad before they knocked the stadium down that they had to build houses in the underground like in the below underbelly of the stadium and get thousands of cats to kill rats and apparently there was this like giant war between like the cats and the oversized rats and apparently when they blew up the stadium like a thousand cats died Well, that's horrible, but. Yeah. I wouldn't mind watching a movie about the great cat rat war. So yeah, those are some of the local conspiracy theories they found out that are not political. They're all dumb in their own way. They're all fun in their own way. Well, do you think George Bush, if they had like an eyes wide shut shing ding,
00:50:29
Speaker
in there. Do you think he'd be there too? Yes. Now, do you think he would have gone to that before or after sitting down and watching porn? Well, not even watching porn. Watching. it was This was before light or yet before he read some good porn. Do you think he would have done it? I don't know. The story of it goes, he walks into the lounge because basically he was he was vice president of the time And he's like, you can't tell me I can go through any door I want. And they're like, you're not allowed in this door. Apparently, there was just magazines everywhere. And he just like picked one up and sat down and then was like, ah, and proceeded to read it. That's why that people would just pick up a porn magazine and just read it. like
00:51:18
Speaker
I don't know. I guess, you know, maybe the 70s were... It was a wild time. This this room was built so the players could do drugs in it and not be seen by the public. That's what a bathroom is for. Yeah.
00:51:37
Speaker
yeah but like There's a lot of dumb things out there. If anyone has any like local conspiracy theories, we'll we'll gladly look into them. Yeah, and if you want to pick one of these for us, also do that.
Expectations for 'Cuckoo'
00:51:54
Speaker
Yeah, let's move on to Cuckoo. This was built up as one of the top, could be one of the top horror movies of the year. It was one of my sleeper picks for Horror Movie of the Year. What was your guys expectation going into this movie? I had no idea what it was or what it was about going into it. I don't.
00:52:15
Speaker
I think it was as good as I would have expected it to be though. This was kind of a flop for me. I also had no idea what this movie was about. I thought it was just going to be bloody and it wasn't. yeah It wasn't a flop for me. It wasn't like a grand slam either. But I think probably because I had no fucking clue what this was about. like I just knew I wanted to see it. I knew nothing else. like I was like, Oh, okay. Movie called cuckoo. Didn't really care much for it. And then I went into it and I was like, okay, it was okay. Yeah, it was solid. The budget was 7 million. It took home 4.5 in the box office, which kind of disappointing because like you're used to, like you wouldn't have expected a larger hit, especially since Harv's been doing kind of good in the box office. so
00:53:08
Speaker
This one definitely underperformed. 64% on IMDb, 77% on Rotten Tomatoes, which is pretty solid. The director is Tillman Singer. This was his first major film, his second overall. Do you guys need to see more of him, or would you go back and watch his other movie? His other movie is in German. I would give it a chance. I would check out his other movie, but I, like I said, I really don't think this one did what it needed to do it missed the mark i i just don't think this movie worked so i'm i'm not really like looking forward to seeing anything else no that's fair i um the thing is oh go ahead okay i was just gonna say this movie was this movie was really fucking like
00:54:05
Speaker
off the wall weird. Like sometimes I think I'm like fucking off the wall with some of the things I think about. And I'm, and I saw this movie and I was like, what the fuck? So I don't know. I guess the point I'm trying to make is depending on the day, I might see another one of his movies, you know? Agreed. Like the thing is I, I, I'm kind of with Julia. Like I would go back and watch his other movie.
00:54:33
Speaker
but I don't think I'm championing him for him to get too many other, oh not that I you want him to not work for the rest of his life, but like, I don't know, like, I don't know, I wasn't blown away enough to be like, I need to see more of from this visionary man. Hunter Shafer, first lead and in a feature film, how did Hunter do? Did you guys think? I think she did great.
00:55:00
Speaker
Um, she's a great actress. Her performance in this was really good. I think probably one of the most redeeming parts of the movie. I mean, I think the cast and the performances overall were good. I didn't really like the script itself, but I think like the, right the acting was pretty good. I agree. I think the, I think the performance of the cast was really good. Now I think about it.
00:55:31
Speaker
I think maybe that's why I ranked it so high originally, because i just I think every character, regardless of what I thought about them, fit the role. Even the dad and the step-mom, their characters were weren't necessary to have, but they fit the role. you know And she was I thought she was great.
00:55:56
Speaker
i mean when there's There's a scene when she's like all fucked up and obviously it's all the makeup and all the stuff they they add to her, but she looks so fucked up and the dad's being a piece of shit. And she's trying to she's trying to be a tough like 17, 18 year old, but you can just see her mouth like shiver from like, you know how when you want to cry, but you're like, nah, man, I'm fucking tough.
00:56:27
Speaker
Right. She did that at some point in the movie. And I mean, I know when, but I'm not, you know, we'll get there. But I'm saying she did that at some point in the movie to where I'm just like, I feel you girl. Just fucking let it out. You know, I guess so it's all good. It's 2024. That's acceptable. You know? All right. Cool. Um, Julie, do
Plot & Characters of 'Cuckoo'
00:56:51
Speaker
you want to give an overview? of him Can you give an overview of the film? And I mean that in a way of So I'm going to be so honest. I have no fucking idea what this is. I know what it was. No, no, no. Like i that's that's what I meant. like I understand. But like it gets murky for me at some point. So but me no I'll start and then I'll pass it off to one of you guys when I start to get confused. Yeah. But we have our main character, Hunter Shafer. She's a 17 year old girl and she lived with her mother.
00:57:27
Speaker
in the United States. Her mother passes away suddenly in a car accident. And so now she's sent to live with her father, his wife and his and her stepsister. And they live in like Germany and they go to live at like this resort because her dad and stepmom are like, um,
00:57:53
Speaker
architects or engineers, right? Yeah, they're like designing this resort. So she goes to live with them. Her stepsister is mute, but for some reason they communicate to her with ASL, which I'm not really sure if that's a thing. and Maybe I'm just uneducated on that, but I i didn't really understand why
00:58:21
Speaker
Cause she could definitely hear. Yeah. The sister, she has like perfect normal hearing as far as we're aware. And she's not hard of hearing at all. She just cannot speak. But for some reason they, they like exclusively, not exclusively, but they use sign language to communicate with her. But the girl doesn't, she does use ASL, but not a lot for the most part.
00:58:49
Speaker
The mute girl doesn't use sign language, which is strange because she's the one who can't speak. Anyway, yeah not super important. There's like a weird guy, a weird like German guy that runs the resort. He gives off creepy vibes like right away, but you're like, whatever. Maybe he's just like a weirdo. He immediately gives this teenage girl a job working at like the resort hotel.
00:59:18
Speaker
He's like, you can never ever be here at night. like It's too dark for you to go home. You'll just be done work before it gets dark or I'll come pick you up. A lot of the guests at the hotel are like randomly sick and like throwing up. And then her little stepsister at some point starts to have seizures. And I guess the whole thing turns out that there are there's this race of like humanoid creatures that this weird German guy is trying to um keep that race alive. So he has to breed these humanoid creatures so they don't go extinct. And I guess he's like somehow impregnating women. And like it turns out the little stepsister is the result of this. like He impregnated the stepmom.
01:00:16
Speaker
eight years ago because they went to this resort on like their honeymoon but it's just confusing to me like how it all happens because there's this creepy lady who's like the monster that you keep seeing and like she like follows she keeps following um what was her name in the movie grudgeon grudge oh yeah what a fucking stupid which so I was kind of, it's weird when you, and there there are like scenes where you see like the monster or this other girl like attempt to like impregnate Gretchen or like other characters. You see that kind of go going down, and I'll describe that in a bit, but this was so confusing to me. For some reason, I was certain that this was based on a book, and I was going to go this past week, and I almost fully read this book called Cuckoo that I was convinced that this film was based on.
01:01:14
Speaker
And then I like started to read the synopsis of the book and I was like, this is not, but there is a book called cuckoo and the author's first name is Gretchen. And for some reason I thought I had heard this was based on a book and I was like, Oh, this must be the book. And she just named the main character at Gretchen after herself. That's like her little self insert weird, but okay. Um, turns out that book is completely unrelated.
01:01:42
Speaker
don't read it to try to understand this film, it's not gonna help. But yeah, there's this other teenage girl that escapes, she's also like one of the monsters, and like whenever the monster like catches someone, they try to, like I don't know, there's like bodily fluids, and they like scoop up this goo with their hand and start like reaching towards the person. Oh, it ain't goo.
01:02:11
Speaker
Yeah, so those specific scenes didn't really make sense to me because I'm watching it and like it is gross but okay so like the monster or whatever you call it has like pants on and you know we're meant to understand that this is some kind of like bodily fluid and I'm like but she's fully clothed and there's a lot so like there there will be like suddenly like it cuts to her and there's like a puddle on the floor and she's like scooping it. I'm like, so where'd that come from? You're fully clothed. Your pants are like dry and everything. And then I'm also looking at the, she like scoops it up with her hand and is reaching it towards like the character who's like laying there with their legs open. But I'm like, they also have pants on. So like, this is weird and gross, but also logistically just how's that working? It just doesn't,
01:03:06
Speaker
make any sense like physically, logistically. What's like getting an STD by sitting on the subway? he you And I'm almost like, I'm like, is this like whatever's meant to be happening doesn't make sense. I guess you don't want to show like
01:03:26
Speaker
The thing is, we know what's happening, and had it gone any further, I think it would have been too disgusting for the crowd to- I think you can show that process without having to show like any force any nudity or anything, but like what they did show, I almost feel, is too much, because it's like fluids that are like clearly meant to have come from like someone's genitals, like but that person's fully clothed, their clothes are dry. You know what I mean? like it just wasn't like Right, which was a just a strange part of the movie. But I think that's what, because in the movie, that's what kills them, maybe? Because they drown, they choke in their throw up. So also the entire, the reason the movie is called Cuckoo is because the cuckoo bird like lays its eggs
01:04:25
Speaker
in the nests of other birds. So that's the symbolism that we're going for here is that. She's put her eggs in another. Yeah. So these creatures are taking their eggs, implanting them in other women so that when those women are impregnated, it's the cuckoo bird or the monster. This race, also the, also these humanoid monster things have like sonar and like mind control technology. And there's like time loops.
01:04:57
Speaker
That was cool though. Yeah and towards the end of the movie because the the little stepsister whose name is Alma, she is one of these creatures so she's able to protect Gretchen using her like mind control powers by like distracting the bad guys so that Gretchen can get away. But where I get lost is really just like the whole um like I guess the egg transfer scenes like I said they don't the visuals that are happening don't make any sense for me. And maybe I'm looking too deep into it, but i I feel like that is kind of an important plot point. Like where's the goo coming from and where's it going? Because everybody's got pants on. Yeah, I don't know if they fucked the logistics of that out. you know And I just feel like that's pretty important. Like if you're showing that happening, it's,
01:05:52
Speaker
like are you wiping the goo on the outside of their pants and expecting it to like you know what i mean i uh i i maybe i don't know look they're german like so if if it was if they were like taking off, like is that stuff we want to see? Well no but I'm saying like there are ways like you can cut away you can show that like you can show from like the waist up but it's implied what's going on but they fully show everything it does not cut away at all and I feel like it's almost like
01:06:29
Speaker
I'm like, is it meant to be symbolic? But no, that doesn't make sense either because this is literally what's happening in the story. I don't know why that that specific aspect really bothered me.
01:06:43
Speaker
Well, it's an important part of this plot because with with that, they and it's not clear in the movie, which is stupid also, because if at least if it was clear, it makes sense. But I don't know if that impregnates the woman and then the baby is born from that. I think it's just meant to be the eggs.
01:07:10
Speaker
Right. Because what what ends up happening is that's the the main mom, I guess we'll call it. I'm assuming it was the main mom was the one I kept chasing Gretchen throughout, because I guess the main mom's child was the little girl. And there was there was a lot of like Do you mind if I, no go ahead okay. So like throughout, cause they, they, they show the, they show the impregnating scene, I guess somewhat close to midway through. And you have like this detective who's trying to solve the case of his dead wife. And he's like, I know there's this like woman who is killing people and Gretchen,
01:08:09
Speaker
basically gets chased because Julia mentioned that the weird German guy was like, yeah, you can't ride your bike home. You can't, it's too dark. It's, I'll drive you home. This, that, and the third blah, blah, blah, right? Creepy in its own. Cause it's like, I'm not getting in a fucking car with you, dude. I don't fucking know you, but but also it was, he wasn't wrong.
01:08:32
Speaker
yeah true he wasn't wrong but at the end of the day it's like i'm 17 years old i don't know what the fuck you think so yeah i think in the beginning he's very much trying to like keep gretchen away from all of this to like keep the secret because he didn't anticipate like her being there because it was a last minute thing that she was moving there with her father it wasn't really planned so in the beginning they're very much just trying to like keep things under wraps and then it turns to okay she's a woman she's fertile we can use her yeah right and the thing is Gretchen gets chased by this humanoid creature gets it uh somehow finds her way to a hospital like at the worst hospital ever yeah definitely the worst hospital ever she gets in
01:09:29
Speaker
I don't know how the fuck she banged her fucking head. I don't know where that happened. But oh it was because it it's there are two sets of glass doors. So she reaches like the emergency room. They buzz her into the first set of doors. She doesn't realize there was a second set of glass doors. is That will happen. Yeah. So she's running to get away from this woman. She goes through the first set of glass doors and then just like bolts and tries to run into the emergency room.
01:09:57
Speaker
but she hits a glass door like full force. Yeah. Classic. Yeah. Classic move. But she she she mentions there's this woman she chased me everyone's like, girl, you're kind of crazy. And the cops are like, let's change the story because this sounds really fucking stupid. So then it's like then it goes into the scene Julia mentioned with the girl that Gretchen worked with. She's on this hot date with that same cop.
01:10:27
Speaker
They're obviously like 20 years apart in age. Maybe not. I have a hard time distinguishing age. i Yeah, I would say they're definitely is an age gap, but not like I would say that. Yeah, I truly can. I realize I truly cannot tell anything when it comes to age, but she.
01:10:47
Speaker
do you she gets caught up in, that's when you start to realize that there's this loop that happens and the loop is from, it's like a groundhog day effect where you just keep, you you keep looping back and forth, back and forth into the same like two, three seconds, right? Like I'll go, I'll scratch my foot and then I walk to the door and the next thing you know, I'm scratching my foot again and I'm walking to the door. The next thing you know, I'm scratching my foot again and I'm walking to the door but these monsters as they screech and you're going through that, these monsters are still continuing through their day. So they they somehow have some, I guess telekinesis, no, that might not be telekinesis. Whatever, that they have some sort of supernatural ability. And the point is, that's to get them to kind of halt. Because the one thing about Gretchen is she's kind of
01:11:45
Speaker
like that like troubled teenager because her mom's dad, which understandably, but like her mom's dad, she has to live in Germany with her fucking dad, who she doesn't really like. And then she has her sister, which she doesn't really like. And she meets this chick at the hotel, runs off with the chick, eventually steals the money, runs off with the chick. This like crazy humanoid thing catches her again and flips fucks the car up, you know, that does all this like destruction stuff. You can tell the strength of the humanoid because she like rips the fucking girl, like she rips her fucking friend and right out of the car and throws her like. Where'd you think of the humanoids outfit?
01:12:28
Speaker
It looked like the the humanoids outfit looked like kind of like those perv guys that had like the trench coats. Yeah. And she was kind of just like a fancy lady in a trench coat with like sunglasses and a blonde wig. Yeah. All she needed was a park bench and a newspaper. you know like she Didn't she have something like around her neck?
01:12:51
Speaker
I I remember she was kind of like a glamorous woman archetype. Maybe she had like a what's it like a shankerchief. Yeah, she had some on her head. She looked like like a headscarf. Yeah, basically she looked like those like characters and in those like old spy movies that like sit with the newspaper and you know just pretend like they're not listening to your conversation but also also a housewife like she looked like she was a housewife that was also a spy which would be a great movie but she somehow has this like supernatural strength they find you know obviously that's that's the scene I was mentioning because she's obviously back Gretchen's back in a hospital broke her arm probably tore a collarbone one of those
01:13:41
Speaker
grew some injuries where you need to put your arm in a cast. she go This is the scene I mentioned earlier, which was really great, because her dad's basic, because her sister's also in a hospital because of seizures, that they think it's seizures, and then you find out it's not, but she's in a hospital because of these like seizures, and the dad's like, I gotta take care of your sister. like You're fucked up, and you're you know you got into this car accident, accident and I should be here with you but you kind of stole my boss's fucking money out the register and you ran off with some French chick you know and both got fucked up so she's kind of in this like I hate you I fucking can't stand none of you I hate all you you know I hate my life nothing's cool except skateboarding that kind of attitude she's back home realizes that this fucking German dude's like oh it's okay honey or
01:14:40
Speaker
whatever word he used to try to like make it seem like he's a good guy, and he's like, I'm sorry, I woke you. And then he convinces her to, he's like, let's run away. He's like, I'll take you wherever you want to go. Just say goodbye to your parents, and I'll go take you. And when in reality, he took her back to his house to impregnator, which I mean, is kind of fucking, when you think of it that way, is kind of fucking,
01:15:06
Speaker
ah Like you kind of saw that coming. He just seen he gave off some vibes. but he That's when he introduces her to these humanoid creatures. He explains. You find it you find out that he like controls them with some fucking flute. Who plays a flute? Is it Link?
01:15:27
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. He plays like a fucking flute. Oh, yeah. There's a flute that summons them. Yeah. It's like fucking Zelda. It's like the game of Zelda. He's got some fucking flute. I don't even know if he plays a flute. It might have been something. It's like a recorder. Yeah. He plays like some recorder, and it controls them, and it stops them somehow. You know what I'm saying? He's a recorder, and I'm thinking he's playing hot cross buns. Yeah. It basically was. Yeah.
01:15:57
Speaker
But that, but that the thing is that he, this is where a lot of, you know, this is where like a lot of the movie kind of like, it just doesn't, the the directions kind of go all over the place. Cause he, he basically like, he, he finds a detective. He knows that the detective has been on to own the other cop who I still think is like 25 years older than the other chick, but I could be wrong.
01:16:25
Speaker
He's into it. Obviously we all knew he was into it. But it's like he starts to like reveal this plot. And it it was just like this goofy, the cop escapes, steals the gun from the from the other officer. He escapes, shoots this German dude, rescues the girl and then's like, we need to go kill your sister. They run back. She's like, we ain't killing my sister, man. Like that's not happening.
01:16:53
Speaker
You find out the German dude's not dead for some reason. Somehow he could take bullets to the chest. um And then like the ending part is basically it's like a three-way Survival match where the German has this assault rifle, which that's super American, but the German has this assault rifle He's just killing everyone in sight because he wants to burn the evidence and he doesn't want nobody to basically know like and you know I was doing this kind of fucked up shit, you know and
01:17:25
Speaker
But then you have the detective who's like, I want to kill you for being a part of it. And I want to kill this girl's sister for being a fucking humanoid. And then you have Gretchen who's like, I ain't trying to kill neither one of you. I'm just trying to take my sister and get the fuck up out of here. But one of y'all's, you know, both y'all got to die because y'all going to try to kill me. There's just like this back and forth fight. And I want to say, how does, oh,
01:17:56
Speaker
She realizes the sister was this humanoid, figures out how to solve it. They cover their ears up because they know if you don't hear it. She has like this butterfly knife, which kind of super outdated, but she has this butterfly knife. Um, she's got it. Basically she's like, look, I'll kill this fucking girl. So the German dude's like, nah, man, I need her. And the other guy's like,
01:18:25
Speaker
while I'm out of bullets, so I'm just going to roll with you, but then I'm going to kill that girl too. The girl kind of finds out she has to convince her like, I'm not going to hurt you. And, but there's like this back and forth way. It's like, there's like this triangle of, there's just like this, like death triangle happening, which I thought was pretty cool because I feel like in a situation like that, there's going to be a death triangle. It's like, I'll protect you, but we're killing your fucking sister. Like that was like the cops.
01:18:56
Speaker
like MO. And then it's like, I will kill both of you and keep your sister. And she's like, I just want to live. um Fast forward. She fights with the fucking, guess we'll call it the humanoid mom somehow kills the humanoid mom.
01:19:21
Speaker
How did she prove it? Oh, she proved that she killed a humanoid mom because of she had her wig. She yanked her wig and is like, is this your fucking queen? Which I didn't understand the wigs either. yeah He's probably just a fucking pervert and just like.
01:19:37
Speaker
probably finds them more attractive that way. I I didn't like it, but I also really didn't understand it. And maybe I'm just dumb. Maybe if I understood it more, I'd like it more. But I just, I feel like we didn't have enough to work with. And I honestly don't remember how it ended. Like I don't remember. I know it was that part and he's like, Oh my God, you killed the
Complexities in 'Cuckoo'
01:20:00
Speaker
mom. And but what?
01:20:02
Speaker
I think the, oh, the sister did her screeching shit and what I don't remember how it ended. The thing is, I clocked out at some point and I don't remember how it ends. I think that the sister did her screeching thing, she saves her, i somehow they both die. I don't know, maybe it burned. I don't fucking remember. And then they just like drove off.
01:20:28
Speaker
they draw all they drove they left the hospital and They drove away with the French girl who was like hooking up with Gretchen at some point in the movie. So that's basically the movie. It sounds confusing because it is confusing and if you see it, it's like kind of gross.
01:20:48
Speaker
But it's just like I can do gross and I can even do like if you wanted to be like super fucking gross and just like not even imply just like straight up, I could do that. But if I'm confused, it's a problem. And I think this movie just confused me as in like what direction it was going, what's happening, what's not happening. But with that being said,
01:21:17
Speaker
I do like the concept of cloning and I feel like that's what he was doing. I do like the concept of cloning in movies because there's just, there's something, well, Anakin was a clone now, we know that, but there's something about cloning that's terrifying to me because AI is terrifying to me. And I feel like it's the same concept, but real, you know?
01:21:46
Speaker
I feel like we just don't have enough information about what these creatures are. And I feel like this is not one of those situations where you can be like, it's up to your interpretation. We're not meant to know. It's like, no, what the fuck are they? And the whole like cuckoo bird analogy is almost too. Okay, you have like the egg exchange and they they lay eggs and other birds nests.
01:22:13
Speaker
But then you also have him like playing the flute, which is like a bird whistle type thing. And there's just like too many bird analogies to where I'm like, are they, and then like the, the like screeching sonar thing, I'm like, are they actually related to birds? Like that makes sense. It's like too many bird analogies happening. That makes sense. I wonder if they were just birds. But it's doing too much.
01:22:43
Speaker
like that just doesn't make sense unless it's all like symbolic like they can't they're not literally bird people that's dumb it is called cuckoo right but i'm just saying like there's a lot of birds like it's a movie about fucking bird people like no it just doesn't work for me So actually the green Ranger plays a flute right before he right before he summons his um His God I feel so bad because I forget Zords was ever there called Pat. Yeah, Dragon's Lord. ya Yeah. Yeah, it's dragon sword. He plays a flute. It just reminds me of ah For some reason when he when when he's playing his flute to to to kind of control this fucking ah
01:23:33
Speaker
this like humanoid little girl, because it was just like a random other one. He's playing his flute. And it just reminded me of that meme of the Green Ranger when he's playing regularly on the flute. And I just couldn't take that serious, because it's like, what are you doing? you know like how How's this? It makes sense, I guess, if they were birds. if like Maybe that's not just an analogy. Maybe they just were birds. Part birds. Yeah. like maybe like some cuckoo humanoid creature that existed in germany and like the ancient whatever times i don't know but the like hit the him controlling these things i didn't grasp that because like are these did he could create them well i i'm assuming he's one of them because otherwise why does he care like is he just a friend of the bird people i i assume he must be a bird person
01:24:32
Speaker
And he's trying to like keep his race alive, right? that That's what I would assume. Well, I don't know. Cause then he's affected by Alma when she uses her powers. So I don't know. Like that's another thing is like, like, am I not supposed to question why he's, he's an ally of the bird people? Like what's the, what's the story here? Why, why is he doing this? What's his motivation?
01:25:00
Speaker
I wish I knew. All I know is Hunter Shafer was great. Her character was great. The dad was a piece of shit. I hated him. But you still act like the fact that we all had like the emotional response of hating this guy i means he did a good job. and Like I feel like some of the characters were the characters were well written and well acted. Just like the story itself, even like the family dynamics, you know, we get the typical like stepmom,
01:25:31
Speaker
new step sibling and it's like, whoa, that's not my sister. She's my step sister type deal. And then like scenes throughout the movie where Gretchen keeps calling the answering machine at her mom's house just to hear her mom's voice one more time. And then eventually she starts like leaving messages and it's like, mom, I really miss you. Those little things, those little things in the movie I feel like most times we talk about how those little things affect movies. Like it's pointless, it's stupid, but I feel like her calling the mom, her consistently just like going through this constant, like just traumatic experience of like losing her mom makes a lot of fucking sense. Cause that's the reason she's doing all this stupid shit. she Yeah. And she's 17 and I feel like it was a really good family drama. There was even a scene where like the little sister Alma,
01:26:28
Speaker
she She sometimes uses like a text to speech device and she overhears Gretchen all the time leaving these messages for her mom. So Alma takes it upon herself to call that same number and use her device to say like, hi, this is Alma. Gretchen keeps calling you. She really misses you. So if you could please call her back because she doesn't understand that her, that Gretchen's mom has passed away.
01:26:57
Speaker
And she's like, please, if you could visit Gretchen or like, please call her and tell her everything's gonna be okay. And like, we really see that Alma looks up to Gretchen as like a big sister. Because there's also the scene at the end that follows up that where she's trying to convince Alma, I guess that's the sister's name. Yeah, she's trying to gain her trust. And she says, My mom called. Yeah, and she says, my mom called me back and she said, thank you.
01:27:24
Speaker
Yeah. She's like, she got your message. She said, thank you. And she's like, is she visiting? She was like, no, she can't. yeah And I mean, the thing is, most of the time it's just like, OK, what the fuck was this for? But that makes like that the the the the writing in that aspect makes a lot of sense. The writing in that aspect and like fits. This scene where like we find out so Gretchen and her mom lived in this house that was like paid off and Gretchen 17. But it's like the house is paid off. So it's now like the house is pretty much in her name. So she keeps saying, she's like, as soon as the whole movie, we see her saving up money and like stashing all the cash she can, because she's like, as soon as I get enough money for a plane ticket, I'm just going to go home. I already have this house. That's mine. I have a place to live. Like I'll just go back to the States as soon as I get enough money for this plane ticket. And we find out, we find out that Gretchen's father,
01:28:23
Speaker
I guess the house was like still in his name. He sells the house, moves all of Gretchen and her mom's shit out of it, packs it in one little box, and just delivers this box to Gretchen and is like, oh, by the way, I sold the house. I put the money in an account for you so the money's still yours, but the house is gone and all that's left is this little cardboard box.
01:28:50
Speaker
And that made me so angry because, and I just like really felt and sympathized for Gretchen there. And I was like, I understand he sees her as like this 17 year old girl. You know, she can't handle the responsibility of owning a home. Like she can live there by herself. Like I don't need a house. I have a house with my wife and other kids. So like, I'll just sell it and Gretchen can have all of the money. That's a great chunk of money for a 17 year old, like the entire profit from the sale of the house.
01:29:19
Speaker
you know, that'll pay for her college and whatever. So he's just thinking, you know, logically, but Gretchen is like, this is her home. This is where she spent her entire life. She was born and raised in this house. All of her things are there. Like who she only packed like one little suitcase to come to Germany. And even like she was still leaving messages on the answering machine.
01:29:48
Speaker
Yeah, ah see like the thing is all of that was reverse of how I usually feel about those kind of parts of movies because that was needed to understand more so because the thing is nothing else made sense but that did make sense because there were so much great elements to this and then it's just like But what if bird people? And I'm like, what the fuck? yeah like we needed ah We needed something because yeah we needed a horror movie. well And they just didn't deliver on the key parts. Here's the thing though, I didn't mind the supernatural aspect of these like bird people.
01:30:29
Speaker
You know, I, I, I like the loop. That's fucking, that's frightening, man. You know what I'm saying? Like, think about how frightening that is. But it didn't make any sense. Like it's, it's really cool imagery, but like. Right, right. I agree. Like how, how did the birds control time? No, well, I, I didn't. I agree. It was really funny. We didn't, so we, I'm fine with us never getting info on that, but like the way they presented was it well.
01:30:57
Speaker
Yeah, this is kind of reminiscent of the Watchers, where the Watchers are these like weird, mysterious, fairy people. But yeah, I agree, like the time- Whoa, whoa, the Watchers gave you so much background, though, on what the Watchers are. Yeah, I agree, because we find out like they tell us exactly who and what the Watchers are. This was like that if we never found out what the Watchers were.
01:31:24
Speaker
This just made zero sense. And it wasn't, like I said, there are a great many movies that leave it, that leave you hanging, that leave things open to interpretation. And that works a lot of the time. That can be a really great lot of advice. It just, I personally feel like that is not the case here. And this did not work. I think the hardest thing in horror and and like most storytelling, especially dealing with supernatural elements,
01:31:50
Speaker
is giving you enough information without spoon feeding you, but not leaving you out to dry to where you're lost. And it's like the watchers, it was spoon feeding us painfully. And it's like, we're adults, we don't need that. And this was like, we're just gonna leave you in a forest. Yeah. Again, I don't have a problem with, I really don't, I don't have a problem with not knowing any other stuff. i It's stupid, and you know but I think it was cool enough where... the thing is Maybe not even cool enough. I think it was frightening enough to me, that the well the thought that I'm basically going through a time loop. Time's not advancing, but yet this fucking creature is advancing.
01:32:48
Speaker
Yeah, no, you're being sent back five seconds. That thing's moving ahead 10. You and like, you know that and it's hard to prepare for it. Right. i mean I get it. Headphones work and stuff like that. So once you figure that out, you just kind of carry headphones everywhere you go. But, you know, there is that scene where she loses her headphones, you know, and it's like that just headphones can be knocked off.
01:33:16
Speaker
Right, right. And that idea of there's nothing you can do. This thing is just going to come and get you. I like that idea. That's kind of frightening to me. Yeah, there were a lot of good things. And but it did just it fell short for one reason or another.
01:33:35
Speaker
um
01:33:38
Speaker
but That that that
01:33:42
Speaker
I think it was like also like the, the, whenever they filmed the bird people, there was like shaky cam on it. was like They were in, they were inconsistently filmed. So it's like, why is all of a sudden like they're an earthquake every time you look at it? Like, I don't know. It just, it felt, it felt like they didn't think out how to execute it properly, but they put so much effort in other things, which were good.
01:34:11
Speaker
And it's like, this was like two, three steps away from being and an epic movie. Not saying it was bad. Yeah. I feel like it definitely did have, it definitely did have its, its potential. I just feel like, like a lot of the movies this year kind of just wasn't,
01:34:40
Speaker
I don't know, there was something missing. i this I think maybe there's the this is a situation where I just think you spent too much time on one thing and didn't brush up the other things, you know?
01:34:57
Speaker
or like they just had a lot of ideas that they think would look cool and sound cool and just put them in there when it didn't really make sense. Yeah. Yeah. And we don't know what got cut out. Maybe things made sense, but they're like, shit, we need to keep it under this time. So we got to cut out this. and But it's like, do you keep the cool thing in or do you keep the explanation piece out? And they're like, well, we obviously need to cut the explanation piece out because the cool thing costs more to film. I don't know.
01:35:27
Speaker
Um, let's wrap up our thoughts on this movie. I and think I did wrap up my thoughts already. I, I, I would watch it again. So this is like one of those movies that I won't go out of my way to see it. But if it's, if it's streaming and it's late night and I'm just like,
01:35:52
Speaker
browsing through fucking Netflix or whatever this lands on. This feels like a Netflix movie, but if I'm like browsing through and I'm like, oh, cuckoo, okay, I'll put this on and I'll kind of, I'll see my way out, you know?
01:36:09
Speaker
I just, I won't, I won't go searching for this movie. That's just like, I'm not going to, like I'm dying for the day civil war comes on streaming and I have absolutely no care in the world when they start streaming. So my, my, my thing is yeah I want to agree with you on your, your, the way you would view this again. The problem is it's in fucking German, most of it. So like, I like, you got to semi pay attention.
01:36:36
Speaker
This would be good background noise if you didn't have to fucking read sometimes. Yeah, but I mean, i mean you know what I'm saying? like I didn't know your German was that good. It's not, but i mean I mean, is my English that good? Is my Spanish like? Yeah, for the background, like you could have something on in the background or you're going to be like, oh, shit, I hear the bird noise. I got to put stick my head up. I mean, the yeah, no, you're right, though, because i can li I can't talk. I can't talk.
01:37:06
Speaker
Like any language, but I think you're right though. I could hear pocket. Yeah. he Yeah, like you could be in your own children My final thought this is in the bathroom um I Went to the bathroom after the the movie and and like this old guy who sat in the row with me Enrique was like staring at me So I screeched at him then i And then I walked out. I'm not sure that you did. I i did. But you said that and it reminded me. So I watched this at AMC, where he is, which is confirmed the worst theater in all of South Jersey. I have not in my lifetime been doing worst movie theater. Don't ask me while i why I was there, though.
01:38:01
Speaker
Anyway, that theater regularly closes all of the bathrooms in the building to clean them like at the same time. And there have been several times now where like I run out of a theater real quick to use the bathroom during a movie. I try not to if I can avoid it at all but sometimes you just have to. And the bathrooms were closed so I couldn't just like step out real quick. I had to leave and check like three separate times before they reopen the bathroom so I could use it. So maybe I missed a key pivotal moment of the movie because AMC shut the bathrooms. You did not. Cinemark would never. Cinemark does not ever close their bathrooms while the theater is open. You didn't miss much. Yeah.
01:38:51
Speaker
yeah um So to wrap up this episode, let you guys summarize this year in horror.
Year in Horror Summary & Rankings
01:39:02
Speaker
Weird. Whack. I wouldn't say whack because there's been some good stuff. It's it's not all good. It's not all bad. But i I would say pretty exclusively weird. I feel it can be an overarching term that applies to mostly everything.
01:39:23
Speaker
I think we've seen a lot of commercial success, which has been good. That's always welcome with like Abigail doing good box office numbers. ah Day one doing good box office numbers. Long legs doing good. Even late night and with the devil punching above its weight. We've had some good movies. We've had a lot of flops. um But even if the flops, there's been some notable parts. There's also been too many passion projects.
01:39:49
Speaker
um Yeah. And so like, for horror, at least quit with the passion projects. All right. So there's 62 movies this year. I know, well, maybe more, maybe 63. I, I, uh, movies that I've seen this year, there's a shit ton more, but there's, there's, hold on. Let me double check how many exactly. Okay. 63. There's 63 movies this year.
01:40:21
Speaker
that I've seen so far, 2024. Maybe a little more, maybe I didn't log one or or two. The bottom three movies, the bottom five movies, three of them are horror. Imaginary Tarot, I Saw the TV Glow. Those are the bottom five movies, they're horror. The bottom 10 movies, there's one, two, three, four, there's five, 50%.
01:40:49
Speaker
of the bottom 10 movies are hard. Like in the top 20, I have, I'll go 25. In the top 25, I have one, two, three. I guess Lisa Frankenstein is hard. Four, five, six, seven, eight. I have eight in the top 20. Like it's it's, to me, it's, to me,
01:41:17
Speaker
It's been a really good question. Did you did you count Civil War? Is that hard? Yeah, did you? I didn't count Civil War. Civil War is up there. No, I know. I just want to because. Was that hard, though? I don't know. I just asked if you counted it. Oh, no, sir i don't I don't have the answer. oh Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Late night with the devil. Satanic Hispanics.
01:41:46
Speaker
um Abigail, Destroy All Neighbors, Lisa, and Longlegs is 20. First Oldman and immaculate. They're the same exact movie, but that's 23 and 24.
01:42:01
Speaker
like Other than that, there's some mid-tier ones. Cuckoo was mid-tier. I might drop it a little bit. Sting was up there, ISS. I mean, but now you're into the 30s. You're like at the middle. You're you're literally at Andy Dalton. and Those movies are all Andy Dalton's. For those who don't know who Andy Dalton is, he was for a long time the middle of the middle, the direct middle of quarterbacks in the NFL. So there was literally half of the people were better than him, half of the people were worse than him. That's what these movies were. ISS, Sting, Watchers, Maxine, You'll Never See Me Die, or You'll Never Find Me, Shootable Flesh. you know ah Those movies, I'm just going down, down, down in the 40s, in the 50s.
01:42:57
Speaker
so I would say whack not a hundred percent because the top the the the second best movie I've seen is is Late Night with the Devil so far this year and that's horror so that's how I would describe horror this year you're either really good really bad Andy Dalton that's that that's that's
01:43:29
Speaker
That's how I would describe them. And I'll make a list.
01:43:36
Speaker
Was it that bad? Good talk. All righty then. Yeah, I was going to say Julia, do you have any final thoughts? Not really. So yeah what's what's the next movie we're going to see? I mean, Alien. Oh, yeah.
01:43:56
Speaker
um Extreme hot take. Well, it's not a take I've never seen anything So I need to watch it. Yes, you I mean, I don't think you do But it will give a good backstory. Like I just watched aliens one and two well, I love i looked at the timeline and there was like 15 alien movies and but the first one is the only one I need to watch to see this one because of like the chronological yeah alien one and then it's Romulus and then it's aliens but aliens you have to see at least
01:44:34
Speaker
Right after. It's iconic. Because Ellie Innes is the best. It's the best out of all the... I haven't seen any of them. No, no. I i i know i you many a times. I have seen were War of the Worlds like hundreds of times. so Not even close. I feel like that's pretty much... Please don't because... There are aliens in that. Oh my god.
01:45:00
Speaker
Probably my favorite Tom Cruise movie.
01:45:07
Speaker
Pat, let's end this. End it. Yeah. All right. Speaking of Tom Cruise, real quick. Did do we all see Tom Cruise basically flying to the Olympics? Yes. Hop on a motorcycle. I saw a clip of it. I didn't watch the whole thing. OK. Shout out to Tom Cruise. All right, now I'm leaving.