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017 - Empowering Voices: Navigating Mental Health, Criminal Justice, and Community
32 Plays1 year ago
In this episode, Reggie Ford interviews Mandii Brown, a cognitive behavior specialist and social justice activist, who reflects on her move from Chicago to Nashville, the cultural shifts she experienced, and the challenges of working within the prison system. They explore Mandii's inspiring vision for a community center aimed at empowering young Black boys, emphasizing the critical need for safe spaces and community support. Mandii's personal journey, marked by overcoming significant mental health challenges, highlights the importance of addressing childhood trauma and finding inner healing. Through their conversation, they underscore the unique experiences of Black individuals across different regions of the United States, and Mandii's commitment to creating empathetic environments in her professional work with Black men in prison and as a mother to an autistic son.
Highlights:
- Debunking stereotypes, Mandii celebrates the vibrant culture, creativity, and resilience of Chicago's communities, from its rich musical heritage to its fashion and art scene.
- Through her story, Mandii emphasizes the importance of finding peace and solace amidst chaos, and the transformative power of embracing change and new beginnings.
- Mandii reflects on the cultural context of addressing trauma and how communities cope with violence and social challenges.
- She shares her personal experience of reaching a breaking point and attempting to take her own life, highlighting the need for support and understanding in moments of crisis.
- Mandii discusses the stigma surrounding mental health in minority communities and the necessity of destigmatizing therapy to encourage healing.
- Reflecting on her journey, Mandii encourages listeners to prioritize self-care and reconnect with their inner child as a means of healing and resilience.
- She offers practical advice on finding a therapist, emphasizing the importance of representation and personal connection in the therapeutic process.
- Understanding the power of empathy in therapy and creating a safe space for individuals to share their stories and struggles.
- Exploring the journey of healing and the misconception of quick fixes, emphasizing the need for patience and acceptance.
- Addressing challenges faced as a Black woman therapist working with men, including the importance of setting boundaries and earning respect.
- Recognizing the impact of childhood experiences on mental health and the journey to reclaiming one's voice and identity.
- Advocating for genuine support and seeking professional help rather than relying on social media for mental health advice.
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Connect with Reggie:
Website - reggiedford.com
LinkedIn - https://linkedin.com/in/reggiedford
Instagram - https://instagram.com/reggiedford
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Connect with Mandii:
IG - @the_relatable_counselor
LI - https://linkedin.com/in/mandiibrown/
Website - www.wellwhhw.com AND www.therelatablecounselor.com
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Resources Mentioned:
Psychology Today - https://www.psychologytoday.com/us
Therapy For Black Girls - https://therapyforblackgirls.com/
Black Men Heal - https://blackmenheal.org/
Express Yourself Black Man - https://www.expressyourselfblackman.com/safe-haven
Black Mental Health Village - https://www.bmhv.org/
Recommended
Transcript
Societal Challenges and Masculinity
00:00:00
Speaker
Yes, working with men, and not just black men in the system, but all men, the common denominator, are other men. I have guys who's been arrested by their dad, guys that joined the game because their brothers at home want brothers and they want them to accept it. And just got caught up. Men who lost their jobs and getting hurt or injured or something of that nature and with guilt
00:00:29
Speaker
since I called in the game, nothing violent. Like they all have a common denominator of either dealing with another man or trying to go by the definition of what a man is and not trying to feel bad about it.
Podcast Introduction - Vulnerability Muscle
00:00:43
Speaker
Welcome to Vulnerability Muscle, the empowering podcast challenging norms and guiding you to find strength and power through vulnerability. I'm your host, Reggie D. Ford. In a world that often portrays vulnerability as a sign of weakness, I believe it is a source of tremendous strength and authenticity.
00:01:01
Speaker
Through insightful conversations and thought-provoking interviews, Vulnerability Muscle aims to redefine vulnerability and help listeners develop a new perspective on their own lives. Each episode of Vulnerability Muscle delves into a variety of topics such as mental health, social issues, and mindset shifts. We explore the power of vulnerability in healing, building resilience, and promoting personal growth as well as fostering meaningful connections.
Guest Introduction: Mandy Brown
00:01:28
Speaker
This podcast provides practical tools and strategies to navigate life's challenges, overcome adversity, and create more inclusive and just environments for all people. Mandy Brown. Good evening. How are you doing? Good. How are you? I'm doing great. I'm doing great. How is the world treating you today? It could be better. It was a bipolar weather. That's Nashville for you. Nashville is going to throw out every season in one day at you.
00:01:59
Speaker
Well, I just want to say I'm so appreciative to have you as a guest.
00:02:04
Speaker
And the world will not know this, but we just had some technical difficulties. And so we probably had most of this already recorded. But we're going to roll with the punches and come back at it. But I want to start with some rapid response questions. And you've heard them before, so you're going to have answers to them. But let's just go ahead and hop in. So what is one thing that you do to relax when you're feeling stressed?
00:02:32
Speaker
outside of sleeping. That was my first answer. And my lovely power naps with another response. I do this all the time. I get a box of Twinkies and hide in my room and eat my favorite snack. So no one steals them because from snacks it will definitely take them. So if I'm not sleeping, I need some Twinkies. All right, sleeping in Twinkies. Let's go.
Mandy's Personal Stories and Influences
00:02:56
Speaker
What comes to mind when you hear the word vulnerability?
00:03:02
Speaker
Feel the same, like, feeling sensation. Feel like my face.
00:03:08
Speaker
Mm-hmm. Yeah and like and I want to just reiterate like if if If ever anything that I say or bring up or any questions or anything comes up and you don't feel safe I hope you feel empowered to voice that with me and know that We don't have to touch on anything that you don't feel comfortable with and I want to create that safety for you So that you feel good in this podcast
00:03:33
Speaker
Thank you. Yeah. I'll let you know. OK, good. Good. I like that. What is one of your favorite childhood memories? I'll come up in the world. Eating Chinese food my day when he used to get off work, he would come home with our favorite Chinese food. It's still there. It's a Chinese fiction right off of 87th and again, Ryan. And we would sit down. Me and him. Only me and him.
00:04:03
Speaker
and we'll watch Smart Star Arts movies. So our favorite one is Enter the Dragon, for sure. Okay. Yeah. That's Bruce Lee, right? You know it. Yeah. Okay. If you could have a conversation with anybody living or dead, who would it be and why? Oh, still DMX. Yeah. And again, it's based off his song, Flippin'.
00:04:26
Speaker
And just, like I said, it's one of my favorite songs, one of my favorite artists, and always listening to it and hearing like how he felt abandoned, you know, by his parents, going to jail. And like, you know, what, again, like what really happened for you to go down this rabbit hole, not just in music, but just drugs and, you know, feeling neglected, pushing people to the side, trying to redeem yourself. And it's just, never enough.
00:04:54
Speaker
Yo, yo, Yimex has a fantastic story. I wish I could interview him too and just talk to him because like, I think he even like I saw an interview, maybe it was an interview, but he was talking and he just like casually brought up like sexual abuse and just kept on rolling with the punches.
00:05:13
Speaker
Just to see how the world responds to such severe stuff in people's lives, it's tough. And I feel like that may have contributed to some of the ways that he chose to cope with life. So yeah, he would be a good one, for sure. What is a book or movie that everybody should read or watch? Definitely. Same book. The Autobiography of American Eggs, for sure.
00:05:40
Speaker
Um, you want to watch a movie though, you would have to watch birth of a nation and not the new one, but the original black and white one that they showed in the white house that made us look crazy. I wrote a 30 pays paper on it. Yes.
00:05:55
Speaker
Wow, I referenced that in my book, because that was like one of the earlier points in cinematography that really painted us in this picture of being so vicious and so sex driven and so animalistic and terrible. And it was
00:06:14
Speaker
It's a movie that people, like you said, should watch, but with a questioning mind and seeing how that shaped our society and how people view Black people. Yeah. And there are no words in it. It's just all just like... Yeah. Yeah. It's wild. It's a few people to like... We had a race in my class and I said a lot of people realized it had no words. I'm like, just watch.
00:06:37
Speaker
Just watch. Just watch. It's telling the story. And Steve was actually wearing the black face and portraying this in his bite because we're really not like that. Yeah, we couldn't even act during
Therapist Role and Community Impact
00:06:47
Speaker
that time. It was just crazy, crazy, crazy. So the relatable therapist, Mandy, can you tell the world, can you introduce yourself to the world, let the people know what you want to share about who you are? Yes, I'm Mandy Brown.
00:07:06
Speaker
Why are you laughing? You're funny. I've made it round. My model, therapist, cognitive behavior specialist, social justice activist, I keep it with the
00:07:21
Speaker
I like that. I like that. Wow. And so, so your work is on the inside of prisons as a counselor for, for inmates.
00:07:46
Speaker
So it's a thin line. So you have the counselors with the state appoint, and they're more like social workers. And then you have the actual clinical mental health counselors or therapists who deal with their diagnosis, their medications, having sessions. So that's what I do. And I deal with them literally from, I'm not gonna say a deal because it's pretty awesome, but I'm there from 7.30 to four o'clock every day. And then when I'm done, I do therapy sessions on the outside through a group practice. So I really never stop until,
00:08:15
Speaker
Maybe nine o'clock is my latest session. Whoa, you on go, on go. Not intentionally. Tell me about that. You're working, you're working toward a goal. What do you see that goal being? What are you truly doing what you do for?
00:08:35
Speaker
I got asked this by an inmate, so this is really, really good. I'm going to call him inmate. I'm going to call him, they say offender, but just a black man in the system. Yeah. I don't see them as an inmate for a number. A man. Yeah. He's a man. He's a man. He's a man. He's great. He's doing great. He asked me, and they were very upset that I'm transitioning. He was like, what are you going to do when we leave here? And I was like, you know, I really want to open up a community center by the time I'm 35, just for all boys.
00:09:06
Speaker
I want to move my dad down here to help me do it.
Life Transitions: Chicago to Nashville
00:09:10
Speaker
So I want like a safe haven for everything. So for sports, so basketball, football, of course, soccer, baseball, gymnastics, dance, and not just regular dance, but all types of dancing, tap ballet, you name it, just to get men back in that class and that space to like take over. I definitely want a STEM program. I definitely want a library, three months of host services, of course.
00:09:34
Speaker
I want the downstairs to have a laundromat so boys can come in and watch the clothes are free because a lot of boys hate getting judged on their appearance, especially if they're dirty. So I always take that into consideration. I definitely want to have a predominant, like influential black men in the community down here to donate clothes to come talk to them, just to come do sports with them. Yeah, just really it's a safe haven for them. And like the biggest part with the nonprofit I work with right now, I really want an agricultural program down here.
00:10:04
Speaker
And I definitely went a Black cowboy program. My dad was like, there is a Black cowboy in my head. But for us, I guess we went a Black cowboy program. What is a Black cowboy? What is a Black cowboy? Like what I'm thinking of in my mind as a cowboy? Y'all wear a boots of wine, you know what I'm saying? So my dad said, my dad said, my grandfather had 60 acres.
00:10:34
Speaker
Four horses, two cows, two peacocks, six goats, four dogs. We had a whole little farm and we went cold. We'll drive an hour and a half. He and my dad did this on purpose to make sure we didn't get too accustomed to like the stuff that we wanted in the city, but go to the country. And in the summertime, we started to how to ride our horses bareback of course, to fish, to shoot, to barbecue. And then my grandfather taught us how to do music. So he had all these instruments. He used to travel, be a performer in Puerto Rico and the Dominican. So he taught us,
00:11:04
Speaker
everything. So my dad had us out there for a whole week just vibing out and then we go back to the ghetto. You got the best of both worlds. I did and I joke about it a lot. I mean I think probably that's like my saving grace growing up was knowing that I had a way out. Like outside of education stuff I knew that if all of those fields I could go live on the land and have some animals and be fine and not do nothing for the rest of my life which is
00:11:35
Speaker
Be on my horses and kick it. Wow. I think that's powerful in shaping the way that a young person thinks and helping build resilience. When I can barely see them, but my grandparents over my shoulders, they signaled to me that there was a better way. If it was chaos and craziness going on at home, or if I needed to get away, I knew that I could go to them. And I think about today, how I'm able to
00:12:04
Speaker
be resilient in very dark times. It's thinking back to that, even subconsciously, that, no, it's going to be better on the weekend or it's going to be better in the summer or whatever it may be whenever I got to spend time with them. And so for you to be able to get out, especially nature, nature is huge. Like being outside is so crucial to regulating our nervous system to healing. So that's what's up. I like that. We talked for 30 minutes. You ain't bring up cowboy life.
00:12:34
Speaker
Now you was asking about the second record stats. Oh, man. I love it. I love it. So let me see if I got a picture of my papa. I would love to. I would love to see that. But but yeah, so so let's hear you're from originally from Chicago, right? And raised until 2020. I moved down here like.
00:13:03
Speaker
It's a good thing though, but it was a culture shock in general. Yeah. What was that culture shock? And what was some of the things that you noticed that were different between here and Chicago? Quite honestly, I didn't know about people in there, so I'm not going to lie to you. I didn't know y'all was here. I mean, outside of the civil rights, I'm like, so you guys are still here. All right. But I was just sitting down for like TSU and this stuff, like, because I'm Greek. But other than that, I'm like, y'all, y'all actually live here. Wow. Yeah.
00:13:32
Speaker
Yeah, that's funny. That's funny. Because I think in any state and all over the world, really, there are ghettos and there are areas of all different types of people. But in the United States, there are hoods in Iowa, right? You'll never think it. I just drove by. It's in all the different places. But I definitely feel that. Like, Nashville, how it's portrayed
00:14:00
Speaker
it doesn't seem like it would be a place for people like us. And I think that was something I've talked about with some of my other guests is just how hard it is to be in a place that doesn't really welcome or cater to our blackness and have different venues and different attractions that would bring somebody down here. What made you come to Nashville then, if that was the case? You was gonna be the only black person in Nashville. What made you come?
00:14:35
Speaker
So I was already visiting down here to see some friends at TSU. My cousin actually went to TSU as well, so my uncle made a very clear watch for her cousin. She's grown, okay? There's nothing to watch. But when I was with my last ex, and we were friends at first, so when I was busy,
00:14:58
Speaker
It was like an escape. So in Chicago, during COVID, it was chaotic. It was closed down, Walgreens on fire, people still looking at Yamar, people breaking the cars, the riots, the fights, the shooting. And when I was with him and I would come down here, and I thank him for that moment, he would have like the bed I already made, Mateus already is there, all my favorite snacks.
00:15:27
Speaker
And the biggest thing was he had these blackout curtains, because he knew like, I was this much I worked in here, I worked with him in Chicago, he knew how bad I just wanted to sleep in silence. And you don't get that in Chicago, especially at that point, I mean, like every hour, I could speak to sirens. But like the first night I slept here and I overslept because I was supposed to wake him up for work or say goodbye or whatever.
00:15:49
Speaker
He was like, you was not there. I was like, it's one o'clock in the afternoon. Like, did I die? Did you drug me? Like, no, you were just, you needed to sleep. I was wanting to let you sleep. And I was like, oh my God. And I wake up to nothing but like birds chirping. And like I said, I only hear that when I go see my grandfather. So to hear that as an adult, just silence, it felt so, so good and so peaceful. And I'm like, I gotta get my kids down here. And then when I brought my daughter down here,
00:16:21
Speaker
She was like, mommy, we could play outside. We didn't play outside during COVID. Like you, it was, them drive-bys were going crazy that year, quite honestly. They were playing it back yard. My dad would be outside with them just in case, but up here, she's like, we can go to the park. They got ducks outside. I was like, yeah, girl, there's a duck right there. We can feed it. It's like, I'm telling you, like,
00:16:46
Speaker
COVID has just given me a different level of PTSD for sure up there. And then down here, every week, like clockwork, every other week, coming down here driving, if they didn't want to come with me and they want to be with their dad, I'm coming down here to show them how I'm like, okay, I'm going to go to see the first day. After that, we're going to get some food. And the best part was the gas prices. Y'all gas prices. You know, COVID was the
Chicago's Cultural Landscape and Challenges
00:17:10
Speaker
best. Ours was still close to four or five dollars. When I say,
00:17:14
Speaker
I was y'all ain't here and fill up and get home back to Chicago and still hella sober gas. I'm like, I'm losing. I'm losing. I literally told my job. I was like, I'm transferring within my application. But I prayed on it. So I didn't want to just meet because I was with him and I was having a good time here. I applied to where my master's program was in Alabama and here in Nashville at the same time.
00:17:44
Speaker
And I was like, OK, guys, you know, pick what's going to happen. Same job, same type of apartment, same income, same prices, everything. How about until like 2022, I just heard back from those jobs, you know, departments for a natural. Everything happened within three days. I came down and did an interview seven days later, got the job the next day, moved down a week and a half later and been here ever since. Oh, wow. That was a sign. It just all spoke.
00:18:14
Speaker
Yeah, that's what's up. Wow. So you talked about Chicago and how chaotic it was during COVID. I think many people, me, right, coming from Nashville, not knowing much about the South Side of Chicago. I come with a lot of stereotypes and maybe misconceptions about it, but can you debunk some of those things or what is it like truly to be in the South Side of Chicago versus
00:18:42
Speaker
you know, what the world may see from headlines and different things. Again, there's more than 63rd. There's a 64th. There's a 75th. There's other blocks outside of 63rd. Okay. Oh, block is not what you think it is. Um, and I, I think celebrities have been bumped that as well. Like you just can't get in, don't live there first of all. And after hours that whole community has occurred in general. So it's like, don't,
00:19:09
Speaker
I think it's probably like another thing that I had pissed us off, like stop coming to like our ghetto hoods and like glorifying it because it's not fun. It's, it's depressing because these are forgotten areas and we, people just make the best out of it. Like my old house now is literally a crack house. Like it's not cool. Um, but there's a lot of beauty in Chicago and the south side and that's where the east side, like I said, there's a lot of history, especially in Bronzeville. And again, people always,
00:19:36
Speaker
go straight to Thug stuff and Al Capone and everything. I have a certain point that says the dopest thing is to come from Chicago and it does. Musicians, y'all still our food. Y'all still our food. It's so cool.
00:19:54
Speaker
Y'all recreate our music into your own and sometimes in garbage, but it's okay. You get an A for effort. And then our attire, our fashion, like no one can say that people in Chicago dress terrible. I mean, let's see from the West side know if it, but the rest of Chicago, we are on our game. And then of course we have great politicians, great athletes that come there or are from there. It's just,
00:20:21
Speaker
It's just a hub for creativity in general and beauty that just gets overlooked. But I see why it gets overlooked. I mean, it's a lot of crime that happens occasionally, and especially we joke about it from Chicago, like when we had a, what was that?
00:20:40
Speaker
the NBA games or whatever when it was up there and they had all the confidence stuff and everyone was getting robbed. We was like, we told y'all y'all was gonna rob. Y'all put you stuff in the wrong neighborhood. We can joke about it, but y'all can't talk about it. Yeah. It's like, don't talk about my brother. I can talk about my brother, but you don't talk about my brother. Right. If I pipe down. Easy on our hood. I feel that.
00:21:05
Speaker
It's beautiful though. Go, go because you want to learn about the culture and what's there and the smaller community. We have, we have a Chinatown. Y'all don't know how to Chinatown here. We have a Chinatown. We have Greek town. We got a little Germany and got a little Poland. You got a little Mexico. It's, it's culture is there. You just focus on one area. Like, no. Yeah.
00:21:27
Speaker
Yeah, and talk about the reason for some of the, or at least from what your perspective is, for some of the violence and the crime and the desperation that we see from people in our community there and how that evolved. I mean, we all know crime kind of started at the bottom as far as dealing with race wars in general, but now I think
00:21:55
Speaker
social media plays such a big role in it, it has escalated and it's such more people committing crimes based off of ego and earning stripes and being popular and being hip or doing something, then they make a song about it and it's like, ew, no, that's not what it's for. And then ideally another reason I moved from there is because we used to have a, I think everyone has this, but it should be like this law where you protect women and children.
00:22:24
Speaker
like, you know, our hands off and it got to a point where men were literally shooting at women and children. One man that I do know who actually got caught in a McDonald's drive through use his two year old daughter as a shield. Right. So at that point, I'm like, I'm, I'm good on this. I'll go home to this. But
00:22:49
Speaker
It's just something, there are some truly messed up people and mental health is not what they looked at up there. We ask you like, suppress and surpass it. For us, you have to be on the schizo or as I say, a little touch for people to get your attention. And even when you get isolated, like, oh, something wrong with you. Don't talk to them or you can catch what he catches. Don't talk to their family because they're not taking care of them. They got some walk in the streets and
00:23:17
Speaker
all this other stuff. And I'm like, it took me to be in my program to realize, like, no, there's definitely more to that story. It's just no resources here to help this person.
Mental Health Journey and Advocacy
00:23:28
Speaker
And so they're out here. Definitely. Yeah. And we got to provide those resources and create the accessibility. I think that's one of the biggest missions of mine is to, you know, one, destigmatize mental health so that
00:23:43
Speaker
It's not looked at as like this weird thing that we are not allowed to benefit from and get help with. And also, you know, where are the resources? How do we make them cheaper? How do we make them free of possible? Because it is health. It is like inhumane to not allow a person to heal their minds. And so speaking of that, though, can you tell me the significance of April 30 of 2017?
00:24:10
Speaker
Yes. So that was my one-year Sigma-versary. I joined Sigma Gamma Rho Sword, Incorporated. That was the day I tried to take my own life via pills. And it was just based off of just being overwhelmed, being overwhelmed as a mom, being overwhelmed as a student, being overwhelmed in all these organizations I was a part of. I mean, you could see me on campus everywhere.
00:24:33
Speaker
And just know, I had my stroller with me. I was everywhere. I was extremely involved, but I wanted to show my girls, if I could do it, you could do it too. Look at what's out here. It's just more. But all that was just really overwhelming. I was with their father, and he was not supportive. He actually thought he was a backburner, so a lot of stuff that I was doing. And of course, he had the mentality of wanting his cake and eating it too, regardless of being together.
00:25:02
Speaker
getting ready to get married and we had a house and everything. It was just the, the biggest issue was the fact that I didn't have a partner to rely on what I needed the most because he was selfish himself. And he admitted that now, like we're, like I said, we're the best of friends. I mean, I could call him right now. He'll, he'll hop on us with us. But he, he stated himself when he finally got a grip and apologized, he was like, he was just out of various stuff this time in his life. He,
00:25:29
Speaker
knew he wanted his family, but he just wanted to see if he still had it. I'm like, well, you could have did that without my expense, especially my mental. Because I would tell him, I'm not OK. I'm not OK, Spencer. I need you to be here. And going through postpartum, I'm like, I'm losing in every possible way. And he thought it was a joke because I'm always so strong. And he didn't take it seriously until he got that phone call.
00:25:59
Speaker
And that phone call was, was on that day and what you are still here, thankfully. Right. And so, so what, what transpired? If you don't mind sharing. Um, my girls were in the living room. Um, he, he, that man, he called me, went into like seven, eight a.m. Checking on the girls. And then was like, you know, he went to stand on his decision to like, not be together to date this other girl that he was messing around with on the side. And, um,
00:26:30
Speaker
I was telling him, like, okay, so what are we going to do? Like, okay, we have kids now. Like, what are we going to do? We have bills that you haven't paid on what we're going to do. And he just, he literally shrugged it off in the conversation. He was like, well, I got to go. And I'm like, I felt spiraling and Kayden's crying, Casey's starting to feel what's wrong with her. And then like my group chat thing went off because if it got to the group chat and all these emails for the org and I was just like, screw this.
00:26:58
Speaker
through all of this. And so I wrote a letter. I still had some pain medicine from when I had an emergency section with my daughter. And I told my lion sister, Sierra, she's my ace, still is my ace. And I was like, you know, I don't want to be here anymore. I was like, the kids are in the front room. My door is locked. Do not come in. Just get the kids. Take them to Spencer. She was like, what? What's going on? What's going on? And set off my phone.
00:27:28
Speaker
My sister, Rhonda, she was a floor underneath, came banging on the door. Usually she had the keys, not the first thing, but something to do with him. But she waited for Sierra to get there because Sierra had the keys. The other only people had the keys in my place. And came in, Rhonda, I could hear her grabbing the girls, but I was like, I was out of it. I was on the bed. I could hear, but I couldn't see.
00:27:50
Speaker
anything and I like felt like my like my breath and my heart you just keep slowing slowing down and she was like shaking me screaming and crying like I could hear I couldn't see anything and then I was like waking up at the hospital and she was like don't ever do that again you know I would be here for you I'm like no you're not like I'm there for you
00:28:15
Speaker
I mean, I knew she would be there, but not in a way a partner is supposed to be there for you in your most vulnerable moment. Yeah. Wow. We all agreed that I could go get admitted for three days at Northwestern downtown Chicago. My grad advisor, who was also my professor, she was dope, because she told me she had a similar experience. She tried twice. She was unsuccessful both times. She was like, I know exactly what you're going through. I will hold your head to this. It's going to be OK.
00:28:44
Speaker
We'll take care of the kids. We'll watch over the house. You just go find yourself. So, okay. So you bet. That was the best three days of my life right there. Wow. I want to get at the space that it deserves and one, thank you for sharing that. I know it's probably not easy to recount those memories, but I just want to say I'm thankful for you.
00:29:07
Speaker
I'm thankful that you are here to tell the story. I'm thankful for your life and your presence. And I'm thankful that you had a community around you that mobilized and got to work when you needed it the most. I'm emotional. And I'm even more emotional this time because you told me a little bit about it when we were recording and it messed up.
00:29:35
Speaker
I'm truly thankful because you're a blessing to this world just from the work that you do and the person that you are and you light it up, you light it up. And I want you to hear that. And if ever you need a reminder, I'll be here to remind you. I'm going to try to be proactive about those reminders because you deserve it. You truly do. Yeah.
00:29:57
Speaker
How did you go from that moment to being the advocate and the therapist and doing the work that you do? Um, I didn't take my experience lightly instantly. When I got back to campus, I got to go crazy. I got to graduate the next week. He didn't show up. And at that point I just stood on, um,
00:30:26
Speaker
like being proactive for other moms on campus and other women that I knew that had a similar I give up experience. You didn't ask that on it. So we did programs initiative around it. Uh, see me with a megaphone walking around. Yeah, stand up for it. Um, yeah, I was, I just, I never took it lightly anymore. Like,
00:30:51
Speaker
Anytime anybody said they're not okay, you would literally see me pack up. My girl is not hopping the car. I'm like, where are you? Right now. And I always pop up. And it just, it just stuck. It grew into like the education field and you wanted to be that teacher in a safe place for my students. But like I said, somehow therapy was not on my list. It was not on my to-do list. It wasn't even,
00:31:20
Speaker
a thought in my, I mean, honestly, until I graduated college, I didn't even know it was a career. Like that's how far from my mind it was to be a therapist because it was so many.
00:31:33
Speaker
negative connotations behind it. That's what's up. That's just needed. I think, you know, your title, the relatable, right? You're relatable.
00:32:01
Speaker
And when I go to find a therapist, my therapist ended up moving. And so I was in the process of trying to find somebody else new. And I'm just like, man, this is so hard because it's so narrow in how many people I have to choose from that I feel that can relate to me and take from a cultural standpoint, from the traumas that I face that it has to be limited to a certain demographic.
00:32:31
Speaker
women and just like different things. And so it is difficult. And so that's why I applaud you for being in the field and being who you are and taking that pain that was, you know, your own story. And I know it's still, you know, you're probably working through things. And do you have a therapist yourself?
00:32:50
Speaker
You know a therapist with a therapist, OK? Yeah. It's not up to my therapist, you know, who she is, but. Yeah. That's what's up. I talk to her every Friday, like, o'clock work. I mean, she's like, I'm going to miss all your life. I'm like, yeah, good job. She's dope. I've had, so I didn't get a therapist again until
00:33:17
Speaker
my last year of my program and my director was like, hey, we need everybody to have a mentor or therapist because as you're going through, like your clinicals, a lot of stuff is going to show up for you. I'm like, I'm a thug. I got this. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. All right. Let's wrap this up. I need somebody because I mean,
00:33:43
Speaker
That's very, could you take a lot for allows to allow somebody for four hours to trauma dump on you? And then for you to have the answer and it's like, yeah, so I need clients. And sometimes I don't have the answer. Sometimes I'm just here to listen and to get feedback. And sometimes it's here for you to just let it out.
Healing and Personal Growth
00:34:03
Speaker
Sometimes I figured out with you, like, I may not have the answer in the beginning of the session, but as you talking, it just clear as they pop up.
00:34:10
Speaker
And so that's what I found out from my first therapist in my program. And then I had another one, while I had my son, because I was going through prenatal or perinatal depression and definitely post-partum depression, like extremely bad. And okay, now that that season's kind of over, I can have my
00:34:35
Speaker
professional therapist. The one who takes all my crap every week, she already knows who's coming. She's like, what's the case, little girl? I was like, all right. Wow. Let's go. Yeah. I tell her about work. I tell her I'm a person in life. And she has navigated me through so much, especially like this last year where everything I had going on, I mean, like she was just like my safe place for sure. Wow. That's amazing.
00:34:58
Speaker
What is, what is some of your advice to, to someone going through what you were going through back, back in 2017, uh, in helping them see that it gets brighter. So another text for us. Um, 20, 2017 me is like broken me. And so I've made.
00:35:24
Speaker
And I said to everyone, as an adult, make an effort to heal your inner child any time, any chance you get. Like, if you have a long time, like I had kids and stuff, the moment I have like a speaking engagement anywhere out of town, the first thing I look up is where is the nearest amusement park? I'm about to go racing, right? Yeah. Oh, that's dope. I did say it. So when I went to Orlando,
00:35:49
Speaker
Spencer came with me. And I was like, bruh. Like, we talking something just like that. I'm like, bruh. We got to go to Universal Studios. He was like, what? I was like, we have to go to Universal Studios. He was like, why? I was like, you know I'm a Harry Potter fan. I already packed my wine. I packed my socks. And I hadn't been in years. I went one time, and it was when I was terrified of roller coasters. And so when I got to finally ride it without my mom intimidating me,
00:36:19
Speaker
It's been thrilling. And I compare rollercoaster to my life. I'm like, you know, and it never fails. I get excited when I see it. So anything new I see, like, say, say this couple of it. I get excited looking at it, thinking about it. But then I'm on the ride. I'm like, oh, shit. Why did I do this? Why did I do this? And then it takes off, and I'm smiling and screaming. And so rollercoaster, I go to see it to my life. Like, when I look at it from afar, it's this big stuff. It's like, oh, I got this. There ain't nothing I get on. I'm like, why did I do this to my life? Yeah.
00:36:48
Speaker
And then it's fun, and he thought that I was joking, but we had a fast pass, and we did the whole part twice. He was like, I see why you do this, man. He was like, I feel great. He was like, do you want to come back down here? And he was like, let's go to Disney World. I was like, are you going to Disney World, man? I was like, but no, he's right. He's like a pretty good fan. He was like, yeah, no. And then, of course, we were drinking along the way as well. Yeah, y'all had a good time. We had a lot. We had a lot.
00:37:18
Speaker
What's crazy was I used to beg him to go to music parks with me when we were together. And he was like, and he sticks that and he's like, no, I'm too tall. No one wants to stand on their mind. And he was the biggest kid out of me and him and just laugh and front seat. I'm like, this is awesome. Like, say, he'll enter me while I watch you, he'll enter you. So definitely anyone who's like me, Duncan, start healing your inner child. Like, do anything and everything that you want as an adult. Because one, your parents can't tell you no.
00:37:48
Speaker
that
00:38:04
Speaker
amazing. It's amazing. I love, I love that advice. Uh, especially what you just said about like money coming and going like time is the most precious thing that we have, right? Because we don't know how much of it we have left and you can never ever, ever get it back.
00:38:21
Speaker
And so to, to be intentional about your time is so crucial, but to take care and love on your inner child, like, and it doesn't have to be expensive stuff, right? It doesn't have to be a theme park. It could be like, think about what that three year old, five year old, six year old you'd love to do. I loved remote control cars.
00:38:40
Speaker
So like right down there is a remote control car. I've got coloring books and like even my coloring books, I, when I was a child, I had to be perfect. Everything had to be perfect. And so with my coloring books, adult coloring books that are like, you know, you gotta be real detailed. I'm scribbling all over. I'm trying to be a kid again, like the kid that I wasn't able to be. And so I love that.
00:39:08
Speaker
Yeah, it feels so good. It feels so freeing. And so I love that advice. So yeah, that's huge. How do people find a therapist, especially a therapist that they can relate to? If I'm a black man or if I'm a black woman, how do I find a therapist for me? Where do I go? I'm not going to lie. It was hard because, again, I didn't think black people were down here.
00:39:37
Speaker
I went on psychology today, and that's where I found my first therapist. And I'll say her name. Her name is Miss. She'll be at a porter. Super dope. And what I do is when I see a Black woman or a Black man that I'm interested in getting services from, or even when I do referrals for people, I go to their page. I look thoroughly. Then I go to the website. I look at their reviews to see if it truly matches with that person, especially when I do referrals. And, ironically,
00:40:07
Speaker
I got teased about this by a professor, because not only my name, he's like, if you're so relatable, why don't you smile? And I was like, do you hear about Black people telling their trauma and smiling about it afterwards? No, you don't. And he was like, but you're supposed to be relatable. I say relatable for who? For you? Yeah. That make you comfortable? Yeah. It was weird. And so I don't mind the pictures of them smiling or not smiling. I'm looking at not just credentials, but
00:40:35
Speaker
The testimony is behind you. The stories that you help people overcome, that's what supports you. I don't care if you're all aware of Jordans, I wear church shoes every day. It don't matter. It's your worth ethic. The amount of empathy you pour into people that are not a love you pour into them, and then the safe space you create, let them know it's okay to want to get over something. Because ideally, it's not overnight.
00:41:01
Speaker
like so should be the challenge. Like if you read this book or found this quote and like it, you will be fine tomorrow. Last, last, last. It is more than that. It takes, I'd say it takes months of acceptance, radical acceptance to get over something. So psychology today for sure. I know I would say we have referral lists out if people don't want services. Therapy for black girls,
00:41:29
Speaker
Yes, and I know Black man has it too. Black man, he has a therapist reference list as well. The hit or miss with those is sometimes you have to pay to be a part of those communities, especially, I don't think he does this now, but express yourself, Black man, Kizzle, he has a safe haven. So I know sometimes it takes a minute to join those communities. So if you need something more with speed, definitely psychology today,
00:41:56
Speaker
Black mental health is for sure they have their own referral list that's been vetted for. And those are my top two, honestly. Everyone has referral lists. So say that you want a therapist that's not in your network. Ask, hey, well, this is my insurance. Can you find somebody that has these credentials and is for me? Never be afraid to ask because your close mouth don't get fed. Yeah, that's great advice. That's great advice.
00:42:25
Speaker
With the folks that you work with and the folks that you serve, what is their backstory? Maybe it's a typical backstory that you see or maybe it's different, but do you see any common commonalities with the stories that you hear about? Yes, working with men and not just black men in the system, but all men, the common denominator are other men. I have guys who've been molested by their dads.
00:42:55
Speaker
um guys that joined the game because their brothers at home want brothers and they wanted to feel accepted um and just got caught up men who lost their jobs from getting hurt or injured or something of that nature and was dealing and just got caught in the game nothing violent like they all have a common denominator of either dealing with another man or trying to go by the definition of what a man is and not so trying to feel bad about it
00:43:25
Speaker
Mm.
Therapist in Prison: Challenges and Insights
00:43:26
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Which vulnerability that probably ain't a big part of that. And that's no, it's like, you got, I thought I created you all run from it. Yeah. Yeah. That's, that's one of the things that I wanted to debunk because like, I could, I could sit there with the quote, mainly it's of men and hold my own, but I can also be vulnerable and I have emotions because I'm a human.
00:43:51
Speaker
And that doesn't take away from any of my masculinity because of that. And so I want to hear, because you shared a clip not too long ago that really touched me. And it sounded like you were speaking for a population of folks that are often misunderstood or not heard.
00:44:14
Speaker
What is something that if you could speak for that population of folks that you serve, what do they need or what do they want to be understood about their lives and story? They, especially the guys I have right now on my roster, they want for one not to feel abandoned. And they felt that their entire life, even in the system, like they'll get a good therapist.
00:44:41
Speaker
And the system will drive them away. And then they're left alone again. And that brings up all those feelings. And then that makes them not want to talk to anybody else, makes them not want to open up. And then when they talk to their families and they try to tell them what's going on, typically a lot of families don't understand the legal system. They're like, oh, well, they're telling me this, so I'm going to believe it. Or records are saying if I'm going to believe it, no. Believe it or not, corrections lie to families. They lie to people.
00:45:10
Speaker
And so these guys just genuinely be heard. Like, I'm telling you this, I need you to believe me. You haven't believed me in my whole life. I'm telling you now. Like, if you look at it, men in that situation have lied previously because when you heard the truth, you never believed anyway. Some also tell you lie. And they don't want to be abandoned anymore. They want to feel hurt. They don't want to feel crazy for getting therapy. I have, I have a,
00:45:38
Speaker
medication group. And then I just have a regular guys group who claim in that aren't anything like we just want to talk. We just want to talk to each other and not feel like if I talk on the pod, it's going to be used against me. I'm soft. I'm snitching on the police. I just want to talk to someone that gets me.
00:45:56
Speaker
Yeah. Dang. That's, that's real. And I got emotional when you said that, just like, I feel like, like when I went through yoga teacher training, so I'm a certified yoga instructor and we, it was, it was a lot of, it was group therapy, the whole damn training. And it was a lot of self inquiry work. And one of the things, one of my like self-limiting beliefs was that I am abandoned. I've been abandoned and I will continue to be abandoned.
00:46:25
Speaker
And that was that, like, even like thinking about like the music choices and the ways that I, you know, self perpetuate those, those realities is something that I mean, even I'm not in prison, I've never been in prison, but some of the harsh things that I've done in this world probably related to that exact same feeling. So
00:46:50
Speaker
I feel that. And thank you for voicing that for a ton of people who I'm sure feel the same way. Well, remember, even though you're not physically in prison, I had to tell a series and incarcerated one. It's just not about people locked up. It's literally like you're locked up in different stages in your life psychologically. So I mean, you don't have to be physically in a place that is dark and documented to not be there mentally.
00:47:16
Speaker
That's real. So with I, you, you are, I mean, what you just shared was fantastic. And I think that, I mean, it just made me feel seen, honestly, you made me feel seen. And I appreciate that. And I think that is something that if you have felt abandoned, like if you hear those words from your therapist or for some, someone who looks like you, who may be able to
00:47:39
Speaker
you know, help you through what you're going through is going to help a lot. So thank you for that. What are some of the challenges of being a therapist in your shoes?
Legacy and Final Thoughts on Advocacy
00:47:51
Speaker
You know, a black woman working with men. You're a model. Like, what are what are some of the challenges that you deal with? I get hit on all the time.
00:48:07
Speaker
They're like, Ms. Brown, I'm sick. I'm not a nurse. I'm not a nurse. I'm not a nurse. I'm the other side. Especially with new guys that come on my unit. They're like, who are you? And I tell them immediately, good morning, address me as such. My name is such and such. What is your name? I redirect immediately so they don't think shit is weak.
00:48:31
Speaker
at all. They're like, oh, you're feisty. Oh, would you like a write up? Let's start this again. Now, what is your name? And once they see like, I'm not, I'm firm and fair, but I'm not mean. I'm probably one of the most approachable therapists you can find on that compound. And I always listen, even if you're not on my roster, I will always listen.
00:48:55
Speaker
And so once they get a grip and the other guy's like, yo, that's, that's me brown. Chill out, chill out. Like, you know, don't, don't chill like when you talk to her like that. And they know for sure. Don't walk behind me.
00:49:04
Speaker
I always walk in front of me and you walk on the side of me, you need to be several steps up so I can see you. Just because like there depends on your LLC level as well. So like a lot of my guys are LLC too, but I do have two guys that are LLC four and they- What does that mean? So your level of care. So you can be pretty independent and stuff like that. Your content is there. You just have like, I won't say basic level, but you have,
00:49:31
Speaker
generalize depression, generalize anxiety, stuff like that. But if you're an LLC for your cognitive level is very low. It's a delay. Um, and also majority of the time those guys are schizoaffective from schizophrenia. And I have two guys like that, but one is a genius. He is, he is brilliant. He's like my favorite, but it's not always, it's not always a good brilliant either. Um, but
00:49:59
Speaker
You can tell who's genuine about receiving services and who's manipulative about receiving services. And I make it very clear in the initial session, right off the bat, what it is, what it ain't. If you don't like it, I will do support sessions, which is no more than 20 minutes, but then that's it. And make sure security knows. But if you're a junior lead one team, individual sessions and healing and body stuff in group, then you get the full hour plus the extra stuff. Like, I'm here for you. I tell them all the time, I'm in your house.
00:50:29
Speaker
So I'll go by your rules, but you're going to be on my time. So we're going to go by my rules. So we're not going to do it at the time. We're not going to disrespect each other. So it was a hit or miss at first because they're like, Oh, they're just trying to get assessment with you. You have ulterior motives. I'm like very, very may well be so, but I mean, at least they're coming to therapy and then those same guys, they have.
00:50:51
Speaker
much respect for me. You don't try anything over protective, especially when we have lockdowns. All right, Ms. Brown, come on, let's go, let's go, let's go. You all right? I'm coming. Yeah. I don't even bother. If something happens, they're like, are you okay? We heard this on the yard. We went to your office. We didn't see you. They freak out. They are very protective now. It just took a minute. It took a couple of days to dress ugly, but we're good now.
00:51:15
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Wow. I love that they protect you. I think that that shows the respect that they have for you and the way that you carry yourself. And yeah, you are a blessing. You're a blessing in so many people's lives. And I am just grateful for this opportunity to talk to you. I could talk to you for so much longer because I know there's so much with you and your expertise. Shoot, I could talk all day long.
00:51:45
Speaker
I want to end it up with a quick, rapid response again. These questions are a little bit deeper so you can take some time and think about them and elaborate a little bit more. But I'm going to start and it's four of them. So one, what do you need help with right now? Professionally, personally, whatever it is.
00:52:09
Speaker
Probably, and I have this hope, I think I should give myself more grace because I posted it with my son being autistic. As he gets bigger building up his own village of men, I mean he has it now and they're great but I know like he's gonna want to do sports.
00:52:27
Speaker
He's gonna want it. I want, he ain't got no choice. He got to be in a STEM program or something. Cause the way he take a part in stuff drives me nuts. Okay. Okay. But I want him to see that there's a man in each field that he wants to be a part of. I don't want him to feel like there's a lack in his village.
00:52:50
Speaker
Wow. Wow. Fellas, y'all heard it. Y'all heard it. Get in formation. Let's go. Yeah. If you know sign language, come find me. Yes. I love it. What is your biggest fear? That's crazy. One of my favorite offender asked me that today in group therapy because they've spent it back on me. So I'll give that answer. And it was great today. It was great.
00:53:21
Speaker
My biggest fear, I can't believe I told him this, my biggest fear is dying. I know it has to happen, but leaving this earth without my kids knowing not what I did, but knowing that they could do anything they put their mind to without compromising themselves. You don't have to change yourself. You can really just be you.
00:53:48
Speaker
And people will flock to you because of your energy, because of the love you give off, because of the aura you give off. You don't have to be more hardcore if you want to. I swear, I was one of my kids saying, oh, I got it out the mud. No, you didn't. No, you did not. You were well taken care of by me, that whole village. No. And that is a fear, thinking that they need to change themselves to be a part of something that they don't got no business doing.
00:54:15
Speaker
So no, I want to make sure I leave a, even though I'm not perfect, leave some type of blueprint to show they can do whatever they want. That if I did it, mess ups, suicide, everything, that if I can like overcome it and continue to better myself, you could definitely do it. It's no excuse. And with kids too. Oh, for sure. Yeah.
00:54:40
Speaker
So yeah, that's my fear, leaving and them not living up to that expectation. That's the only expectation I have. Wow. Wow. That's beautiful. What is your superpower? My superpower? Ooh. I think I got two. My dad's 21 of them. My first one is definitely... He makes a joke. Staying past my due date. So I...
00:55:09
Speaker
I'm a big empath and since I feel for people so much in their issues that I see the vision quicker than they do and I want them to get there so fast and point into them and I realize I can't want more than they want so I have to put a cap on it. But it's also super hard because they see what they could be and what they could do.
00:55:31
Speaker
and just like i i'm like the little connector so if you talk to this person maybe they can point you in the right direction if you read this book and you get this not so you can do this and this and this so it's good and bad definitely but i see it more as good than anything because it just brings more hope to the people i do work with and let them know
00:55:53
Speaker
Uh, my old super power, my dad was funny. He says that I'm the ultimate tequila drinker and y'all can drink anybody under the table. For sure. No, no questions asked. If anybody needs drinking, buddy, it's me. Tequila. Okay. Tequila. That's the drinker's voice. He had us on it really. He's like, go ahead and drink this bottle. Oh my God. What's early? What's early? I think I had my first drink.
00:56:23
Speaker
like at 12, 13. I shouldn't brag about it, but it is what it is now, I'm old. And when we got in college, my parents didn't go to college, honestly. They got like their associates and just got into the careers at that point, because all you needed. So I was the first to get my bachelor's. And I'll bring my dad to my homecoming. Of course. And he was like, let's play this game. I'm like, what game we gonna play? I took it.
00:56:51
Speaker
He was like, let's play ever 40 hands. And he would take 40 ups to everybody. He would take 40 ups to everyone's hands. He said, all right, chug it. I was like, ooh. I was known for always having 40s at parties. This was terrible. It was like my song. And I was drinking nothing.
00:57:10
Speaker
fine, someone to drink it drunk. I'm like, all right, so you're a lightweight, but I'm like, oh my God, thank you for the liver and kidneys you gave me because man, I should have been on the sidewalk somewhere for sure. But, you know, I'm out of, I'm a sleepy drunk, so when I'm sleepy, just trying to wrap it up.
00:57:36
Speaker
I got one last question. And you might have touched on this, but I'm asking anyway, but what are you living for? I know a lot of people always say like three kids. I don't want to say that because what I'm doing while I'm alive should have them set already. But quite honestly, I think I'm just living for myself.
00:58:01
Speaker
because i never got that say so growing up all the way and so when i reclaimed my voice the first time especially stuck with my parents i moved out when i was 16 so um i was like no more verbal views no more seeing wild things no more being under this roof no more non-supportive parents you know my biological mom she didn't show up to any of my stuff never came to a football game i did football by the way
00:58:30
Speaker
never came to attract me. When I got into all the colleges I applied for and stuff for Rutgers, she didn't give me a congratulations, nothing. And I was like, you know what? This is why I'm graduating early, because I have no support. And so I started living for myself that moment when I got myself through school. No one can say they paid on none of them bills. And even now, I started to help from my village.
00:58:58
Speaker
everything that I've hit I've had to kind of figure it out myself so ideally I'm living for me but living for me to get better because I know when I make mistakes I know when I fall short because my body feels it first like my heart drops I have terrible panic attacks and I'm like no you you you messing up
00:59:21
Speaker
And so when I get better, like I said, with that roller coaster, it excites me. Like I see what this can be, it's scary, but like, I'm ready to tackle this. So, you know, just ideally for me, and if I live my purpose the way God wants me to, then it would speak to others and I can do a whole war in the community and the people that I work with. That way, you know, we all on the same page, we're all growing at the same time. So, yeah. I love that. I love that answer.
00:59:50
Speaker
It's so important to be living for you. And I hope that you come back to that at any time you need it. And again, we'll be here rooting for you and champion you along the way. Is there anything else on your chest that you want to get off your chest or anything you want to say, mention, anything like that? The biggest thing I want people to know is definitely outside of giving yourself grace. Read a book.
01:00:19
Speaker
I've realized that people run to social media, not just like dent and stuff, but to get answers. And 8 out of 10, those answers are wrong. It's all like cliche and catches to get you on their pace to get money. And when I look at someone and say, I'm like, this is a load of shit. And ideally for me, um, and I, I, I spring to the top of my lungs, you cannot say that you are a therapist or a mental health advocate.
01:00:45
Speaker
without doing the work. You cannot say, you cannot tell somebody to heal if you don't have a therapist yourself. If you haven't had a therapist over two years, you can't tell me nothing about me and how to get better in any capacity, you know, because it comes off hypocritical. Like we fall short daily.
01:01:04
Speaker
We have mental term oils daily, weekly, whatever you want to say. And if you're not talking to somebody just to get it out, barbershop talk is okay. But talking to an actual professional to get some type of concrete answer, some evidence-based answers. You're doing yourself a disjustice and you are leading the blind by being blind yourself. And I really wish people would stop doing that.
01:01:34
Speaker
because it's scary out here to see like, oh, why started some TikTok like, like now people are misusing the words, gaslighting, love bombing, not just trauma, trauma bonding, even making fun of the term mental health and just using it just to pull people in. It's like,
01:01:55
Speaker
There are people who actually care about this field in general. Take it seriously if you're gonna be in this space. Don't do it because you're somebody else to do it and then tweak it so you can get more numbers. Or if you're on a narrative, the one path, then ideally stick to it, evolve. But stick to your plan, stick to your passion. You don't have to stray from it to bring people in. They'll come to you, especially when it comes to this field.
01:02:23
Speaker
They don't know who to run to. You don't gotta get with the hottest person. The hottest person gonna find you. Whether you got 10 followers to 10K followers. Just be you. Stop doing stuff for numbers. Stop doing stuff to look cool. Mental health is cool, but it ain't cool. When it comes down to it, it's not a joke.
01:02:48
Speaker
Yeah, that's beautiful. Thank you. Very well said. How can people get in contact with you? Where can they reach you? All those things. You can do bird mail. No, I'm joking. You can find me on Instagram at the Relatable Counselor. You can find me on LinkedIn at Mandy Brown. You can find me on Facebook.
01:03:13
Speaker
Facebook under our mental health platform where what happened was you can go to that website or you can go to my website the Relatable Counselor and it has all my contacts of yes I respond or the assistant responds depending which email you hit first.
01:03:29
Speaker
And if you need referrals, you can either email me or go on the website as well. And we will link you up with three clinicians of your network or choice of what you're wanting within 48 hours. And of course we do book referrals as well. Wow. Wow. Thank you. Thank you. That's a tremendous resource. And we didn't talk about what had happened with us.
01:03:50
Speaker
i know i'm actually revamping it right now so it's still there i have i took the time to focus on my guys in prison i said i was gonna stop this month after this tour to just now publish all oh my god i have a shoe box
01:04:07
Speaker
I have paper here of like stories. Wow. So I have to sit and type it up of like, put this on a website. I want them to know what has happened to me. I want people to know it. Okay. So that website is about just people's stories. Is that what that is?
01:04:28
Speaker
Yes, so it started off based off, well the inspiration came based off of domestic violence and then I was involved in and because I felt like no one wanted to hear my story because I wasn't from here, I'm like okay don't hear my story but there are other people genuinely like me or worse and haven't told a single thing
01:04:49
Speaker
And so when I made it, it was crazy how a lot of my friends started sending me this story. They're like, you know, I was afraid to tell anybody this in college and, you know, could you publish this anonymously? Even my mom gave me a story of her being raped. And I was like, you never told us this because it could have stopped certain things that I have dealt with in my life. So the website was dedicated to people having a safe space, telling their stories with their name or not, honestly, connecting with other people just like them, which they have done.
01:05:19
Speaker
It has resources, of course, all the hotline numbers, but it has, even for the across your population, it has all 50 states full of resources and halfway houses. It has a vetted Instagram mental health list that people can go to, which I need to update again. I'll try to update it once a month. Book referrals. Wow. A 24 hour chat line. If people need something like, we are very hands on, it's me and
01:05:47
Speaker
three other women and I love my website because that's kind of what got the traction first. Like I already had the name of the Relatable Counts and stuff like that but the website caught everyone's attention and then it connected me with other nonprofits and coalitions and so it brought more passion to be hands-on in the community. I'm like there's tons of stories out here and it's not to tell
01:06:10
Speaker
For a clout, it's just the fact that I can connect with these people that are afraid to speak their truth or have their words heard the way I was. I love it. So I wanted to connect with other people like that. So you can definitely check out that website for sure. Stories will be updated the end of February. Give me grace.
01:06:29
Speaker
Yes, we give you tons of grace because you're doing amazing work in this world and we thank you for it. I thank you so much being a guest for being here and sharing your story. With all the things that you could be doing and all the places that you could be, I appreciate you being here with me, embracing vulnerability. Thank you, Mandy. Thank you for joining us for another powerful episode of Vulnerability Muscle. I hope you found inspiration and valuable insights that resonate with you.
01:06:56
Speaker
If you're enjoying this journey of self-discovery and empowerment, there are a few ways you can support the podcast. First, make sure to hit that subscribe button so that you never miss an episode. If you've been moved by our conversations and the mission of redefining vulnerability, please consider leaving a review. Your feedback not only motivates us, but also helps others discover the podcast.
01:07:17
Speaker
Share your thoughts on YouTube, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you tune in. And don't forget to spread the word. Follow us on Instagram at Vulnerability Muscle for updates. And you can connect me personally at Reggie D Ford on all platforms. Visit VulnerabilityMuscle.com for additional resources and upcoming episodes. And remember, embracing vulnerability is strength.
01:07:40
Speaker
Thanks for being a part of the journey. Until next time, stay empowered, stay vulnerable, and keep flexing that vulnerability muscle.