Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Episode 36 - Patreon is Dead, Long Live All Elite Entertainment
10 Plays12 days ago
In a lesson straight from Taylor Swift - "Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes"
No more Patreon. We might start a discord server so we can get to know you. Maybe not though. I don't know yet.
From here on out, you get everything for free. I'm sure the ads are hard to sleep through, but, we all make sacrifices.
Papa V is in control, and we are here to reminisce, re-evaluate, and re-engage with the company formerly known as All Elite Wrestling.
Watch Along on HBO Max and get Vince's thoughts on:
-Sammy Guevara's Complexion
-Nyla Rose
-JR
-Sadaharu Oh
Gabe is confused again. What a stupid fatass.
Creedence is ringside with all his friends and a giant glass of cheeseburger.
Email us: thewholeballgame@mail.com
Follow on Twitter/X : www.x.com/wholeballgame
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@wholeballgame
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thewholeballgame
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/The-Whole-Ballgame/61576876146889/
Recommended
Transcript
Good Guys vs. Bad Guys: Relevance in Storytelling
00:00:05
Speaker
Good guys versus bad guys. Good guys versus bad guys.
00:00:12
Speaker
Assay.
00:00:14
Speaker
Assay.
00:00:18
Speaker
Assay.
00:00:32
Speaker
It is far more invigorating and extemporaneous than ever before. ever before
00:00:39
Speaker
Passé. Passé. Passé.
00:00:46
Speaker
You see, it was just a matter of time before I, Vince McMahon, bought my competition. That's right. I own WCW.
00:01:07
Speaker
Passe.
00:01:10
Speaker
Passe. good guys versus good guys versus Good guys versus bad guys. guys. Well, it's certainly not a situation where rising tide because there was a tight turner was coming after us and with all of the time-winners out there. said, well, that was a different situation.
00:01:27
Speaker
AEW is where they are. don't really know what their plans are. I don't know what our plans are. don't consider them a competition in the and the way i would consider wc w back of the day How do you renew close to that?
00:01:42
Speaker
good guys versus good guys versus Good guys versus bad guys.
00:01:51
Speaker
and extemporaneous than ever before. hervin
00:01:57
Speaker
Well, we promised. We're delivering.
Creative Processes and Storytelling Trends
00:02:01
Speaker
Here we are, Blakers. How we doing? I got to tell you, brother, I got the chicken skin to hit.
00:02:08
Speaker
the goose The goose pimples, brother. That was the electric de shock, brother. I am going to work on it a little bit more. spent a little over an hour on it, but it needs a little tightening up. It needs some some extra flavor in there.
00:02:26
Speaker
Maybe a little a little song and dance or two from 1987. We'll find a way to make it work. but to But it was fun putting it together, and I think it came out okay.
00:02:38
Speaker
Certainly seems there's a story there to be told. Good guys and bad guys. Seems a bit passe to me in this world of shades of gray we live in, you know, where opinions or things like those fucking special needs kids don't deserve that goddamn amusement park.
00:03:03
Speaker
Stuff like that, you know. Blake's been... been fighting online with a with a with a troll um and i'm an and actual a literal troll right ya yeah his eyes are set apart ah the same way of trolls would be if trolls parents fucked each other and their sister and brother at the same time ah in the back seat of a toilet and possibly a Volkswagen Chicago but he needs that extra $74 that seventy four dollars that
00:03:36
Speaker
he should get back that he's entitled to and his first off dipshit you should aim for no goddamn refund because it's your fucking money and you let them keep it so fuck you you shouldn't think like that anyway secondly you're ugly and stupid um but anyway i digress That's
Sponsors and Evolution of Vaping
00:03:59
Speaker
not why we're here. We're here for, first off, we must welcome our new sponsor, Viva La Hemp, bringing AEWs on the Patreon series. As you can see, I told you, this is a Statue of Liberty lighting up on the Vegas Strip, okay?
00:04:19
Speaker
It sure is. the the the the How far vapes have come in just the last five years really is astonishing to me. and um The folks at Viva La Hemp do it better than anybody else.
00:04:32
Speaker
Quite frankly, I couldn't have said it better myself. And I say anywhere in the next probably five years, there's a good chance Las Vegas could possibly buy the Statue of Liberty and and it ends up in Las Vegas or perhaps Saudi Arabia. One of the two. I mean, there is a statue of Liberty in Las Vegas already.
00:04:55
Speaker
You know what? Maybe this is Riyadh. Maybe it's Riyadh season. And it could very well be. I mean, it it looks a little, there's fireworks back there. So that, that would make a lot of sense. um But there is already a statue of Liberty in Vegas. It's just a, like a half size, a three quarter size version of it. so Yeah, it's probably that then. So thanks for shitting all over my story. New York, New York, baby.
00:05:20
Speaker
That's Viva La Hemp, Viva La Hemp.com for all of your hempy inhaling sort of needs. ah so Did somebody say something about Riyadh season?
00:05:34
Speaker
Well, Papa, here we are. We ask for your... God damn it. Fuck. Give me the cans.
00:05:44
Speaker
He's adjusting his headset here. There we go.
Technical Setup Humor and Show Structure
00:05:47
Speaker
We good? All right. Hang on. I got to get my myself here positioned. let me get my cheaters on. Getting set up in gorilla here.
00:05:57
Speaker
Call the action. Call the action. All right. now
00:06:03
Speaker
Bruce. Can you hear me, Bruce? guys I think Bruce is here. Oh, yeah. It's just your fat son. Hey, fat boy. How's it going? Fantastic. it's a <unk> We're going back in time here just a little bit.
00:06:18
Speaker
you got that ah You got that old drunk crooner's glasses? That's not any reason why I'm taking an interest in you boys, but you know I've been listening to the show. I know how it goes.
00:06:30
Speaker
Oh, okay. All right. I didn't realize that you listened. i i oh I'm always listening, son. I love you.
00:06:44
Speaker
The boys are back in town. Wonderful. i Yeah, I got to got the glasses here. We're going to throw them on and head back to October the 2nd, 2019 to our nation's capital, ah the ah the former capital arena.
00:07:05
Speaker
ah not not to Not a place that ah is foreign to you, Papa.
00:07:16
Speaker
You've frozen in time, son. i can I hear you now. Can you hear me? I think i think you i think those glasses might be malfunctioning. Maybe you should let me hold on to them for a while.
00:07:27
Speaker
Can you hear me at all? Are you good or no? No, I hear you now. You're fine. All right. Wonderful. Just making a sure. Seriously, let me know if you want me to hold those. Look, Papa, as long as you continue funding the show in the stead of the Patreon folks that that we have, ah then...
00:07:44
Speaker
Anytime you want to take him for a spin, you let me know. Did your brother tell you we got Viva La Hemp on board? i did. yeah I was pretty excited about it. that's ah is that a Is that a fully owned ah sort of entity of Riyadh season, or is that just one of the Prince's sort of offshoots?
00:08:05
Speaker
Yes. Got it. Perfect. Uh, so yes, we head to Washington DC, uh, a place that's not entirely unfamiliar to you, Papa. No, this the nation's capital. This uh, as I believe we discussed before the, the Mecca, the main event capital of America, it's, it's where I cut my teeth as it were up in that region as a young man, making my mark on the world. Not as many,
00:08:34
Speaker
crush leaves this time of year, but, um, there's plenty to do. let's just say that. Wonderful. Uh, we will be watching together via the, ah the HBO max, uh, archives of AEW and, and we will,
00:08:52
Speaker
We'll follow, AEW's, uh, adventures through the first couple of years of its existence, uh, here along with Papa and, uh, do a little bit of dissection, compare where we were to where we are. Uh, maybe we'll find some wrong turns along the way, but we feel like six years, five and a half years is enough time to have passed for us to be able to go back and,
00:09:20
Speaker
really analyze this with ah with new eyes once again. um what Because Blake is the schedule man here, and he's the one that puts this stuff together for us, kind of want to get an idea of what he's thinking in terms of where we go. are we going to just hit big-time dynamites or really important dynamites and hit the pay-per-views as well, or are we going to go week week by week here, Blake?
00:09:52
Speaker
Well, as you know, your brother's a bit of a completist. He's ah quite frankly, a bit of a lunatic, a madman. It's part of the yin yang, if you will.
00:10:03
Speaker
The yin, jimmy, wang, yang. But as it were, yes, absolutely. Week by week. We do it dirty. We do it nasty.
00:10:16
Speaker
We're going to get COVID again.
00:10:20
Speaker
I can't wait. ah That was ah it's an interesting time in all of our lives and something that we will certainly watch play out via our favorite pastime.
00:10:32
Speaker
Hey, remember when I used the hand sanitizer on our premium live event live from Titan Towers? That was a hoot. ah I don't recall that, no. ah Danielson was in there, and they were wrestling in my office. and i Oh, yes. Hey, what are you doing? and And I made sure to sanitize because I wasn't to get COVID.
00:10:53
Speaker
Right. I can't get COVID. I understand. i can do all the COVID in the world, and I'll never get sick.
00:11:03
Speaker
Wonderful. ah So there you have it.
Nostalgia and Wrestling Personas
00:11:07
Speaker
Oh, boy. It's dynamite number one. There's going to be a lot to unpack here. I mean, I i've you know as i i haven't really thought much about what expect. It's always been your problem.
00:11:30
Speaker
I always say that because love you, son. If you were Shane, I wouldn't say anything. Is that Vince McMahon that I see on the TV screen, Gabe? What? Yeah. Is that Doink?
00:11:45
Speaker
Is it Lombardi? Is that Brawler or is that Ray Apollo? That's Vince, yeah. Oh, well, it's awful nice to meet you, sir. I've i've been watching your product since since your daddy was the run-running it, you know?
00:12:03
Speaker
Who's that? yes
00:12:08
Speaker
Vincent J. McMahon from Madison Square Garden. I used to watch it all the time when I was playing with the Yankees. And before that, when I was playing with the Chicago Cubs, too. Mm-hmm.
00:12:21
Speaker
What's your name, pal? My name is Rick Rushall. I was a baseball pitcher for a long time. Now I'm just an old man with a bitch daughter.
00:12:31
Speaker
I live underneath. I live underneath. Yeah, it's Beth. Yeah. ah she's i live Yeah. Real kind. I hate her so much. That's why I live underneath Gabe's cream couch here and in the middle of Michigan.
00:12:45
Speaker
Middle aware.
00:12:49
Speaker
Michigan. Okay. I thought you said Michigan. It sounded like this guy know how he says Melissa. It's kind of weird.
00:13:02
Speaker
Oh, you're talking about Credence. He shows up on the show sometimes on the screen when Gabe's there, too. And it's weird because, like, I never saw nobody fatter than Gabe's ass, but he's a big fat ass, too, and he's bigger than Gabe is.
00:13:15
Speaker
It seems like there's a lot of fat guys around these parts. Well, I mean, look, you've been around a long time. You you know wrestling, it attracts a certain sort of folks, right?
00:13:28
Speaker
The marks, yes. Uh-huh. Yeah, Gabe's a big fat-ass mark, and Credence is a big fat-ass mark, and and Blake's a big mark, and he used to be a fat-ass, but he ain't a fat-ass no more.
00:13:41
Speaker
He's a little chunky. He could stand to lose about 20, 25 pounds, I'd say. It's those goddamn animal crackers he's eating in the middle of the night. He falls asleep, and his body doesn't burn It doesn't metabolize it. metabolizes just well Look, this is the way I figure it. I mean, he needs to just sleep on the on the floor, maybe underneath his bed at night. I'll tell you, it helps your back, stretches you out a little bit. and And it it for some reason, it it curbs your appetite quite a bit, too.
00:14:09
Speaker
You know what? I got to tell you something, pal. I didn't think I was going to like you when we first sat down, but you're all right, buddy. All right. Well, um hopefully we get to talk a little bit more. I i remember where I was when I started washing AEW yeah as well. And it was a real hoot. I really enjoyed it quite a bit.
00:14:32
Speaker
Yeah, it is a hoot, isn't it? I like it. You hear it? He said it's a hoot, just like I say. ha
00:14:40
Speaker
he Didn't have Vince McMahon and Rick Russell getting along swimmingly on my 2026 bingo card, but here we are. What a guy. ah Head on over to the the HBO Max app. You're going to search for Dynamite.
00:15:01
Speaker
dynamite ah You can also type in like AEW Dynamite on the search bar and you'll get a little pop-up of the little the little square and it'll say seven seasons underneath it.
00:15:13
Speaker
You'll click on that one. You go to season, you go to the year, go to 2019. It's obviously the first listing in that list. subheader And then, uh, Papa, if there's with no further ado, if there's anything else that you want to get in before we, uh, listen to what's about to hit us in the mouth, um, yeah we can, we can start rolling up to you.
00:15:37
Speaker
I'm ready to rock pal. I've been in sitting around for about the last hour and a half watching music videos and doing drugs. So let's get this thing on the road. Wonderful. Uh, so,
00:15:49
Speaker
Pause it now if you need to, to get it all queued up and then press play again. When you press play again, we'll count down from three to one and then say play. And when I say play, you press play in three, two, one play.
00:16:03
Speaker
Stand back.
00:16:13
Speaker
What do you think about all these bright colored powder explosions, Papa? Looks pretty fucking gay to me. There's a lot of pinks and purples.
00:16:27
Speaker
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
00:16:31
Speaker
You know, sexuality is really a spectrum. I've made love to wide range of men and women over my life. We are greeted here by an old familiar voice, aren't we, Papa?
00:16:44
Speaker
Speaking of men I made love to... There's Silent Bob.
00:16:51
Speaker
ha ha! You thought I was going to say, JR's fat-assed in you. No way, he's fucking gross. not it Not a big fan of JR? I did let Shivani jerk me off in 89, though, once.
00:17:09
Speaker
I met Tony a couple of times, and he's been pretty nice to me in those instances. Hell of a guy.
00:17:18
Speaker
Did he ever jerk you off?
00:17:21
Speaker
I can't say that he did. um But i I also didn't ask. Here's what I want to understand. Why is this guy wearing a Lucia Libre mask?
00:17:33
Speaker
I'm going to go out on a limb and say he's really fucking ugly. See, you would think maybe that's the case. We got Hangman Page versus Pac tonight. What do you think about that?
00:17:47
Speaker
Um, it's, I think because he's a cowboy and he hangs people. You know, that's what I thought, but I got a buddy of mine and you know what he told me?
00:17:58
Speaker
What do you say? He says, well, that's what that you want they want you to think. It's actually cause he's got a huge fucking dick.
00:18:07
Speaker
Apparently Adam page is hung like a horse. Get it. I see. i see. He's got that BDE, as they say nowadays.
00:18:18
Speaker
No, I don't think it. I think his head's fine. he's There's been no trauma, no brain injuries. there's He's passed all the protocols for BDE. Look at this.
00:18:29
Speaker
Look at this. That's Cody Rhodes. of a Speaking of that BDE, as you say. Mm-hmm. That's why they call him Raheem. Ha ha. Isn't that the joke never of the minute?
00:18:44
Speaker
Who's this milky Latino boy?
00:18:54
Speaker
i don't think that I have ever heard a more apt description of anyone in my entire life. Sammy Guevara is indeed an a milky Latino boy.
00:19:05
Speaker
What's his name? Sam Huevos? Sam. Well, I mean, now Sammy Guevara, you see the socks that Tony Schiavone is wearing in this interview.
00:19:17
Speaker
No, I've been touching myself the entire time. Not something I'm paying attention to really just talking and doing myself. Is it, uh, is it because of the milky Latino boy or just you're just in the mood generally?
00:19:33
Speaker
No comment. Okay. Understood. Is he on a roof? Seems to be skipping rope on a roof. Yep. Must be hiding from ice. we We did expect you to bring the timely content here this week. he got What's he got on his head?
00:19:54
Speaker
Is that a... What? Is that... Looks like a panda bear, if I'm being honest. I think that's what it is. Oh, are they doing some sort of cross-promotion with Panda Express? You know, they got these little bowls, and they got rice in them, and beef and meats. It's great stuff. it's not Both beef and meats? Beef and meats. That's correct, yes. Okay.
00:20:16
Speaker
What's happening here? Yellow. I've never
Cultural References and Wrestling Impact
00:20:20
Speaker
seen any of this shit. First time. That's what the people are paying for. Yeah, for sure. Who is this?
00:20:27
Speaker
Looks like Cody Rhodes and his lovely wife, Brandy. You remember Brandy, yes? Was that Hercules? great Oh, no. Sorry, my cheaters fell.
00:20:39
Speaker
Who's the black chick? that's ah That's his wife, Brandy. Oh, that's Eden Stiles, yes. Yeah, Eden Stiles, correct. yeah Boy. How many styles have you eaten?
00:20:52
Speaker
I love Alan. He's a good boy. He's not fat like you.
00:21:01
Speaker
You know, you're you're giving me a lot of mixed signals here, Papa.
00:21:06
Speaker
I got to keep those eyebrows up. That's a good point. point I think I can see her lips. Yeah, this Brandy Rose beautiful woman. There's no doubt. Look at those thighs.
00:21:21
Speaker
I bet they smell great. I wouldn't doubt it one bit. I imagine cocoa butter and some sort of cucumber. Resin?
00:21:32
Speaker
She's probably working out, though, but she's got some protein farts that ripple right up those pussy lips. Those are going to stink every now and then. You know, she reminds me of one of the girls that Dad and I juiced.
00:21:46
Speaker
I knew I liked this fella.
00:21:50
Speaker
ah dress like I forgot Vince was here. I thought we were among friends. Um, well, I don't, I mean, look, I've been open about it and, and your podcast reaches what like five people. So, uh, I don't, I don't, I don't think it's, it's any secret. I'll, I'll, I'll fill you in on Billion countries, Rick.
00:22:09
Speaker
I'll fill you in on it. Um, see, I, uh, I was a baseball player for a long time. Me and my brother both was, but, uh, but our daddy, he was a truck driver, uh, from Effingham, Illinois. are You familiar with Effingham Vince?
00:22:27
Speaker
Unfortunately, yes, I am. Well, uh, besides the Quiznos there by the truck stop, um, there's a big, big old giant cross just off the the expressway as well.
00:22:40
Speaker
And well, we had a, we had an old ranch back there that my daddy had for many years. And, and we, uh, Well, my daddy, he he he killed a lot of women.
00:22:51
Speaker
And then eventually he had us he had us help him. Oh, that's smart. We had this rig down in the basement that was kind of like a... Like steroids? No, not rigs and whatever, juice or what have you. It's not about steroids, really.
00:23:11
Speaker
um We would kill them, you understand. And then we'd put them on a gurney and turn them upside down. and let all the blood come out of their jugular vein. Sure. Because that was the easiest way to clean things up.
00:23:23
Speaker
And ah it's it we just called them juicing. We just called it juicing the girls because it it it it felt a little less intense than the word killing. you know Right. There's a certain cognitive dissonance to it. sure know you can You can say the thing out loud without feeling like you did something you shouldn't have done.
00:23:42
Speaker
Look, pal, I created the wrestling business. You don't have to tell me about that. Well, you don't even call it wrestling no more. So there's a fair amount of cognitive dissonance there, isn't there? Sports entertainment versus wrestling.
00:23:57
Speaker
It's same, same, right? Juice and killing. That was my point. Yes. Oh, okay. All right. I wasn't sure. I had to spell it out. You know, we have a lot of dumb dumbs that listen to the show and fat asses like Gabe.
00:24:09
Speaker
Well, I can see that. This is a, what that? It says Vince fears ratings. What? what? No, I don't fear ratings. I am ratings.
00:24:23
Speaker
Well, I think, I think in 2019 there, the, uh, the opposition here, the, the, the group of fans that were out there that were disenfranchised with the, uh, professional wrestling product available to them at the time, needed to make some noise as a new promotion landed on, uh,
00:24:45
Speaker
landed on turner networks again Well, you know why people got upset and disenfranchised, as you say, with wrestling? No. Why? Well, they were all let down by Philip Brooks and and Dean Ambrose. Those men were stars of the mid late ah two thousand and 2010s as it were pardon me it is late here but you know and those men quite frankly let down the fan base and people fell out of love with wrestling that I created and I had to bring them back into the fold as time would show Wrestlemania
00:25:35
Speaker
speaking of Wrestlemania If you look here in the front row, there's a gentleman there with a green t-shirt on with a smiley face on it um and a really predator-worthy goatee a chin hair that ah that now is is front row at every pay-per-view of World Wrestling Entertainment, interestingly enough.
00:25:59
Speaker
Look, it's Briscoe's bastard, all right? Ah. he We did it just let him in. It's just easier. He gets into whatever. it's Jerry got into JM.
00:26:15
Speaker
All right. That was quite a dropkick by the Milky Latina. ah What do you think about all the flips here, Vince? this is ah He's doing a lot of gymnastics in the ring.
00:26:29
Speaker
Yeah, I saw that. I was trying to see how big his penis was while he his leg spread. Understood. Yeah. Yeah. I've heard Sammy's well hung. He's a little small.
00:26:40
Speaker
I'd like to see him on some steroids. Sure. Sure. What do you think about Cody's stature here? Cody looks pretty good, huh? Well, he's in there with a little milky Latino. Of course he looks great.
00:26:52
Speaker
Yeah. Not to mention that. That olive skin goddess on the outside. Yeah, she's got to cheeks. She's got no back on her her top there.
00:27:03
Speaker
look at Look at the little fat that hangs over the edge just a little bit. I'd like to rub my tongue across that. Yeah. Oh, boy. JR referencing WCW there. Yeah, Jim's a real asshole.
00:27:22
Speaker
What do you think? Do you think you and Jim didn't get along because because you're you're you're more alike than you care to admit? No, I think the problem between Jim and myself was solely because Jim was a dickhead.
00:27:37
Speaker
He was a giant fucking cocksucker.
00:27:41
Speaker
Now, are we talking li a literal cocksucker or are we talking about a figurative cocksucker? He was racist. He worshipped that racist Bill Watts. Mm-hmm. He cheated on his wife regularly.
00:27:53
Speaker
Now, what do you think about this, Vince? I know you're probably not a big fan of ah a random so submission hold in the middle of a match.
00:28:06
Speaker
you' You're telling me I have problem with the art of submission wrestling? that what you're saying? I'm saying I think you find it a little less exciting than it should be. I put Backlund and Brett in there, didn't I?
00:28:20
Speaker
I went 45 goddamn minutes, you asswipe. Yeah, but what year was that? Was that 94? Yeah, that's right. You like 94, don't you? Yeah, I'm a big fan of 94. I'll tell you this. Bob Beckham scared the shit out of me when I was 11 years old. Yeah, well, he should. He's a fucking maniac. He was a maniac. He was screaming and wouldn't let go of that chicken wing. It was scary.
00:28:44
Speaker
You ought to see his erections. Really? They last for hours. My goodness. What a good guy. This is before Viagra. One day, one time he had one for three fucking days.
00:28:56
Speaker
No shit. That's right. Did you take advantage?
00:29:02
Speaker
What do you, what do you mean? Did I take advantage? Did you touch his penis? It was Bob Backlund's penis. No, I didn't touch it. Oh, okay. Did you look at it?
00:29:14
Speaker
Of course. was Did you enjoy looking at it? It was fine. Okay.
00:29:21
Speaker
Standing vertical suplex here by Cody, letting all the blood rush to Sammy Guevara's head. you know who was new to the territory though? And just wouldn't shut the fuck up about it.
00:29:35
Speaker
Piper.
00:29:38
Speaker
Hmm. That's interesting. You know, Blake and I have had several discussions about, uh, Piper's, uh,
00:29:48
Speaker
sexuality. He's very anti funny business. He says, yeah, but have you had, did you ever experience any funny business with him? Now, why is Cody doing pushups? Isn't Cody supposed to be a good guy?
Vince McMahon's Legacy and Showmanship
00:30:01
Speaker
Doesn't this just, uh, make him look very cocky and well, I believe, uh, my, my young friend here is embracing the shades of gray mentality that I created.
00:30:17
Speaker
You have shades of gray versus Latino. Front leg back kicked by Guevara there. What is this, some sort of springboard?
00:30:26
Speaker
what What a maneuver.
00:30:31
Speaker
Who's the ref? It was like a stone-cold stunner bounced off the second rope there. and what Yeah, what do you think about that, Vince? I know... Is that Rita? Excuse me, Papa. I know ah you don't really ah do much of this, but this is a female referee in there.
00:30:51
Speaker
I like the way she pops her ass out when she counts.
00:30:56
Speaker
I bet you it makes the area around her smell a little bit like ass. And that's pretty cool to me. interesting you mentioned the ass, Papa, because, you know, I often wonder where my predilection for eating ass comes from. And I'm starting to to figure out exactly where that comes from.
00:31:18
Speaker
Anything goes, pal. Wonderful. Good to hear it. that's I feel a lot better now that I know that it it there's a source for for my fascination with putting tongues in fart boxes.
00:31:35
Speaker
Yeah, Patterson loved it too. You're in good company. What's up with that weirdo's hair? I don't like that. Makes me uncomfortable.
00:31:45
Speaker
Looks like the cap to a gallon of milk. I hope a panda eats him.
00:31:55
Speaker
Hey, I got an idea. How about we kidnap him, chop him up, and put him in the meats and the beefs at Panda Express. That would be poetic.
00:32:07
Speaker
Well, if you y'all need some help with it, I got just a plethora of experience with bodies and whatnot. So you just let me know and I'll be there. Maybe we can deliver it. Maybe not to Panda. Have you ever eaten a sandwich at at at at at Quiznos? Oh, he just hit his wife right in the chest.
00:32:25
Speaker
Oh, man. Oh, man. He hit Elizabeth.
00:32:33
Speaker
I was hoping we'd get a painting shot. oh oh you there I mean, look. like There you go. there you go Here it comes. A little different angle there. There you go.
00:32:44
Speaker
nah you know look There's at the Latinas butt cheeks. oh
00:32:52
Speaker
JR didn't like that very much. He said it was a cheap move on Sammy Guevara's part.
00:32:59
Speaker
well you know The crowd is chanting asshole. No, I'd never heard him say that until until you... They never chanted asshole until they were chanting it at Mr. McMahon, if I remember right.
00:33:13
Speaker
This man has done three flips there. That's right. That's right. That's correct, Rick. I created the asshole chant as well. Nobody was hotter than Mr. McMahon.
00:33:27
Speaker
Some say nobody still is. But that's neither here nor there. Well, hey, you know, I mean, I was online reading the other day.
00:33:37
Speaker
And I mean, the elephant in the room. does Does Janelle Grant think that you're an asshole, Vince?
00:33:44
Speaker
Is that Horace Grant's wife? No, no, that's the girl you use whose head you shit on.
00:33:52
Speaker
You have to be more specific.
00:34:01
Speaker
Johnny's gal near near fall there. i know nothing about her. That's Johnny's gal. By the way, you can get personalized messages from John Laurinaitis at John.
00:34:14
Speaker
JohnLaurinitis.com, I guess. I don't know. I didn't pay attention. but yeah No, no, no. Actually, he's ah yeah he's at to he's doing a show in Ohio ah to do autographs and things, and it's ah it's garnered some attention on the the interwebs, given given the situation that ah that he finds himself in with the ah
00:34:38
Speaker
less than admirable behavior towards women. My goodness, Cody on the top rope here, ah just kind of an inverted back suplex.
00:34:51
Speaker
It's like a reverse curtain call, superplex maneuver. Count of two. I don't know if you noticed the skin tag on Cody's eye.
00:35:02
Speaker
ah It's all clearly at this point. he's He's gotten removed ah since this is has taken place. and And if you notice as well, what's missing here on Cody is there's no giant ugly tattoo on his neck.
00:35:20
Speaker
Yeah, not a fan of that. It was, a you know, what are you going to do, though? He's got that. fat daddy of his and his brother's a well he's very bizarre and androgynous what the shit was that well it looks to me like one faced one way and the other faced the other and they both flipped backwards together ah as if they were some sort of team
00:35:52
Speaker
I guess that's how they wrote it in the script so be it looked fake though
00:35:59
Speaker
What's Sammy going to do here? Some sort of flip, I would imagine. He got kicked in the dick. We got an inside cradle. Ah, yeah. Neither neither one of these fellows with a small package, if you know what I mean. ha Hey, was that Jay Lethal?
00:36:18
Speaker
I think they're just dressed like Jay Lethal there. He's dressed like Randy Savage. Dressed like Randy Savage in the front row. Yeah. Are we adrenaline in his soul? Gabe Cody Rhodes wins the first ever match on TNT in nearly 20 years as pointed out by the white gentleman that calls himself Excalibur.
00:36:42
Speaker
You know what the last thing that was on wrestling on TNT was? What's that Vince?
00:36:51
Speaker
It was me pal. Makes a lot of sense. Um, You know, you mentioned Excalibur is likely very ugly, and that's why he wears the mask.
00:37:02
Speaker
I wish I could say that that was true. Excalibur is actually a very handsome man. I know who's under the mask. You know who it really is? Who is it? It's Boris Zhukov.
00:37:14
Speaker
You know, he's my favorite Bolshevik. Nikolai Volkov never did it for me. Boris? Boris was my guy, you know, like he was a little darker and that always confused me. So I would ask, I'd say, why does he look like he's he's a different nationality? And my dad would go, I don't fucking and know.
00:37:34
Speaker
Ask your mother. You know, if you're really interested in the Bolshevik revolution, you got to sit down with Terry sometime. Talk perestroika, glass notes, the whole nine yards, pal. Karl Marx, he's into all that shit.
00:37:48
Speaker
Terry's dead, Vince. I know how this shit works. You guys can talk to anybody. You got those glasses. That's a good point. Look at this. Cody is giving Tony Schiavone a big hug and he's fake crying.
00:38:03
Speaker
What a bitch. What a big fat pussy. Oh, the Milky Latina is hot. It's horchata. Horchata time.
00:38:15
Speaker
That one for you, Mary Aelle. Rest in peace, big dog.
00:38:24
Speaker
Ah, they're shaking hands. Sportsmanship's alive in all elite entertainment. That's great to see. Horchata and Chicken Tinga Burrito. are Wait, what's that?
00:38:38
Speaker
It's Chris Irvine. He used to work for me. He did. he their champion? He's got the belt on. It appears that Chris Jericho is indeed their champion.
00:38:49
Speaker
Oh, look at that. Look at that hair. That didn't look real.
00:39:00
Speaker
Big clothesline Jericho. Jericho's got those got the title there.
00:39:07
Speaker
What do you think about that belt, Vince? I'm sorry, with that championship, Vince? That's right. Belts are what hold your fat ass's pants up. And I do need them because I don't have... Ironically, I don't have an ass. I just have... um here we go. We went to commercial and came back.
00:39:27
Speaker
You look like a suspenders guy to me. I wish. No, I probably should, but um because I got a flat ass, it's very difficult to find a belt that lasts more than six to 12 months before falling apart.
00:39:49
Speaker
You have a very very shapely ass, Vince. I noticed today as I was watching the stand back video and you shake it, um very muscular, very very pronounced. so you got You got wider hips than most most men.
00:40:04
Speaker
I'm genetically endowed, yes.
00:40:08
Speaker
I am the greatest of the great.
00:40:12
Speaker
How you came from me. Hey, is that fucking Credence down there? That fat son of a bitch?
00:40:22
Speaker
Yeah, I believe that was. That was Credence, yeah. That son of bitch. I think he committed mortgage fraud. Oh, I'm certain he's committed it several times over the years.
00:40:33
Speaker
um Well, I shouldn't say I'm sure. ah it is alleged he's been convicted of several things over the years, but he never hit a woman.
00:40:45
Speaker
I need to make that clear. He's never hit a bitch. He never hit a bitch. Excuse me. yeah you You will not find a photo of him because he hit a woman in the face.
00:40:59
Speaker
Won't happen. Ever. Yeah.
00:41:07
Speaker
Oh, Jericho now looking for... Is is the camera going to explode in Cody's face? Like King of the Ring 93? That would be the smart way to go. You know, that was Harvey under there.
00:41:21
Speaker
ah Downtown Bruno? Those people are gross. Did you see them? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bruno, yep. Used to carry sense piss.
00:41:33
Speaker
Carried it in his bladder, as it were. ah The jokes are on Patreon.
00:41:42
Speaker
ah
00:41:46
Speaker
Justin Roberts, he's one of your old employees as well. You remember when when Daniel Bryan choked him with the tie outside the ring? When the Nexus came came along and and you fired Daniel Bryan for it?
00:42:03
Speaker
You talking about Mel Phillips Jr.? Yes. Yeah, we would call him Whitey Phillips. That's just something me and Patrik would do in the back. He's some sort of pederast. Is that what you're getting at?
00:42:17
Speaker
No, just a great announcer, man. Great announcer. Okay, fair enough. You know, loves feet. Interesting. Interesting.
00:42:30
Speaker
Boy, this has been going on for a long time, hasn't it? Really has. Jericho powerbombing Cody between two very padded chairs. This just reeks of Jericho's bullshit.
00:42:44
Speaker
Yeah, it seems seems quite a ah but know and winded long-winded. Here we go, and now he's going to talk.
00:42:55
Speaker
it's good I could have got that out of him in half the time. Well, you probably would have required to be half the time.
00:43:05
Speaker
Maybe it's because the goofball running this show just don't have what it takes.
00:43:14
Speaker
Just think what it would look like if if I were sitting a gorilla instead of sitting here.
00:43:24
Speaker
Well, look, I mean, there's there's some there's some value to what he is doing here, especially for people that are just tuning in. who don't know what they're watching. And then Jericho speaks and says, Hey, this is who I am. And speaks a little French to get people hot.
00:43:47
Speaker
All right, Jack. He probably should have, he probably should have spoke sooner, huh?
00:43:52
Speaker
Cause even though that was a beat down. Yeah. Now go on, finish, please. I'm sorry. Even though it was a beat that even though it was a beat down, it did last a long time. And I assume a lot of people,
00:44:03
Speaker
got bored of watching the man get beat down and moved away before Jericho opened his mouth. Now that you've delivered that beat down of an explanation of that beat down, I'm going to go beat my meat down and I'll let your brother take over because I'm not watching whatever this fucking nerd is.
00:44:24
Speaker
I'm out of here. I'm going to go jack off. Okay. Thanks, Bob. Eat shit.
AEW's Early Feuds and Presentation
00:44:34
Speaker
All right. How we doing? Well, you missed it. yeah Jericho beat down Cody. I forgot that they even feuded at the beginning because Cody made that stupid fucking stipulation down the road so that he couldn't fight for the title. um So I totally forgot that he ever did fight for the title.
00:44:51
Speaker
And now we've got Brandon Cutler. Yes. so The Dungeons Dragons gear. ah Yeah, doneund you big Dungeons and Dragons guy. When we did a couple of the AEW FanFests, we did they did a ah um like a a show where bunch of the wrestlers played D&D, and he was the main guy there. We worked with him on setting that stuff up um on the live events. And his opponent here tonight, it's MJF.
00:45:22
Speaker
I got to tell you, I'm very just disgusted by what everything you just said there. That D&D thing. like
00:45:31
Speaker
Did you play D&D?
00:45:37
Speaker
Were you a D&D-er? No, I played like three times and I never really got into it. Although, it's very similar to what we do, frankly. What's that supposed to mean? people it's People just make up characters and shit and pretend they're doing shit.
00:45:56
Speaker
You're not going to bait me. Fuck you. God damn it. Get me into that bullshit. Yeah, no. We're watching pro wrestling, pal. This is a lot different than that fucking dipshit stuff you're talking about, alright?
00:46:13
Speaker
Come on. We're watching people that idolize that thing do this thing, so. It's the postmodern hell we live in. That's what I'm saying.
00:46:25
Speaker
You aren't Shane. Hey, I like that. I came back to see that. You aren't Shane.
00:46:40
Speaker
This is the, um, it's pretty clear from the beginning. He's going to be a big deal, you know? Yeah. The fact that they let him talk all the way down to the ring smart for the first episode.
00:46:51
Speaker
Somebody to, to hate.
00:46:55
Speaker
I remember seeing him at, I think we talked this at some point, but how I ended up at the original um All In and had no plans to be there. and ah And weirdly enough, I owe thanks to Credence for that.
00:47:14
Speaker
um So the ticket came from him in a roundabout way. that Oh, man. Thanks, man. um But MJF... You see my fat ass out there by the ring? I do. It's hard to miss your very distinct face.
00:47:33
Speaker
little few fewer gray hairs than today. Oh, man. Dang, man. Oh, man. You know that Gabe guy, don't you? He fell out of the trust tree, holler. Fat ass.
00:47:46
Speaker
Still talk about it to this day. But... I took him to a Mexican place. He ate 17 chimichangas, that fat ass.
00:47:57
Speaker
wasn't for For a second, I didn't know if you meant a restaurant or a whorehouse. Or a horchata house, as it were. Little column A, little column B, man. Oh, dang, dude. credences, dude. Oh, shit, man. This must be Patreon, dude.
00:48:18
Speaker
Oh, dang. No, man, we call that Patron. no, no, download the new app, man. Fuck off. Jesus. okay Yeah, you told me that. He's got his own app, right, now?
00:48:32
Speaker
He does, yeah. So you get all your wrestling podcasts and your fucking mortgage payment all in one. One app. That's right. You can you can actually you can you can you can get a consolidation loan so you get lifetime access to the podcast rolled into your mortgage. Jesus Christ. What a world.
00:48:53
Speaker
I made that up, but that's fine. Nah, it's probably not far off. Probably not.
00:49:00
Speaker
But anyway, mjf I'm going to get this fucking out. wrestled what's ah ah Matt Cross was his name, I believe. Yeah, no, I remember that. Yeah, because I had never heard of either of them when I was there.
00:49:18
Speaker
Cutley here, the the the good good childhood friend of Matt and Nick Massey, the otherwise known as Matt and Nick Jackson, the Young Bucks.
00:49:32
Speaker
Likely the reason he's got a job. Oh, yeah, no likely about it.
00:49:39
Speaker
Some say the third buck. No, that's Malachi. We'll talk about Malachi eventually. You sure? Oh, that man just fell off the top rope.
00:49:52
Speaker
How about you do anything get in trouble? Oh, no, I won't get in trouble. Especially not if it's on Patreon. Yeah, no. Life's got a weird way of making sure things you never think will come back do.
00:50:05
Speaker
But I admire you. That's real good point. You make a pretty decent point there. I've made that mistake several times in my life. As have I, and we will continue to do that.
00:50:20
Speaker
MJF just tapped out Brandon Cutler there. Short work of Brandon Cutler for MJF. impressive Impressive debut here. Well, you know, and you didn't know it at the time, but as time will go on to prove, that's ah one of the shorter matches and in Dynamite. you know they don't For sure.
00:50:46
Speaker
they don't happen that quickly, usually.
00:50:53
Speaker
Chris Van Vliet here. Look at this fucker. Isn't he like a WWE podcast guy now or something? He doesn't belong to w WWE. He does a lot of AEW stuff too, but he's just a podcaster.
00:51:08
Speaker
Jay and Silent Bob. There you go. after People of our era have to be familiar fans at some point. Kevin Smith looks terrifying.
00:51:24
Speaker
Like a skeleton. Yeah. Nonfat Kevin Smith is weird. It's like he's stuck inside that body somewhere.
00:51:41
Speaker
feel like Jason Mewes would be doing, rather be doing, didn't want to be doing this shit anymore, but he wants the money. there's There's no question. He was... I did though Chronicon.
00:51:54
Speaker
ah Hey, they got the shirt on. says Chronicon. yeah. There you go. And... Oh, boy.
00:52:04
Speaker
Oh, look. It's Jack Evans and Angelico. Have you ever done the Angelico walk, Gabe? I don't even know what you're talking about. You don't know how Angelico walks to the ring? No. i I've never paid attention to...
00:52:18
Speaker
Who these two are. They're the hybrid two, I believe they were called. but That's great. And Helico's the one with the hat there. that just Why is his name Angelico? He's not... Unlike Sammy Guevara, he's not Mexican.
00:52:35
Speaker
I don't know what he is, but... um up What's this? It's a private party.
00:52:44
Speaker
but who's that Who's that black gentleman with ah the yellow hair? Uh, that's Mark Quinn, Rick. I like i like his his yellow hair and and his his vascularity.
00:52:59
Speaker
Yeah, you like those veins, don't you?
00:53:03
Speaker
Yeah, I think that's what I'm saying. Look at them empty seats on the floor. That's weird. Yeah, they're probably just in the bathroom as a commercial break. oh You see we got the World Tag Team title tournament here, Rick.
00:53:17
Speaker
Indeed we do. Dark Order, Best Friends, SCU, Jurassic Express, the Lucha Brothers, Private Party, and the Young Bucks.
00:53:28
Speaker
Looks like we've got... None of these matches are tonight, interestingly enough. Next week on on ah Dynamite is the Young Bucks versus Private Party. Oh, look at this. It's the White House.
00:53:43
Speaker
We have SCU outside.
00:53:47
Speaker
the black member doing an Obama impersonation. That is Scorpio sky for those keeping track at home.
00:53:57
Speaker
Trump's the president at this time, right? Oh yeah. Yeah. Donald Trump is the president. It's October, 2019. Yeah.
00:54:12
Speaker
I still never get over just, once we got out of it thinking we were done and then we went back. That blows my goddamn mind.
00:54:24
Speaker
Quite frankly, ah we didn't do anything. We didn't go anywhere. But we're included.
00:54:33
Speaker
Do you remember where you were when this was on? like
00:54:38
Speaker
I would have been at home watching it. How about you, Gene? I was in hotel. Oh, boy. New York City. It was the night before New York Comic Con started. New York City? Yep.
00:54:56
Speaker
Get it? Pace commercial? I do. Get a rope. Oh. Brother, can't be saying that with the blizz piz on the screen, dude. Oh, good point. Jesus Christ. He was Booker, dude.
00:55:11
Speaker
ah
00:55:15
Speaker
So you were in a New York hotel debating. It was the night before New York Comic Con started. And I didn't get back to the room from getting stuff ready to go until about two-thirds of the way through the main event tonight.
00:55:32
Speaker
ah So I watched like the last couple of minutes of the show while I waited for probably a pizza or something to be delivered to the hotel. Hey, look at this.
00:55:47
Speaker
I see you interrupted by Pento Zero Miedo and the other guy. Ray Mysterio.
00:55:57
Speaker
Got it. Thank you. Now, here's the question I ask you. Out of out what kind of pizza did you have delivered? Oh, I'm sure it was just a pepperoni pizza with extra cheese. that pizza, how much in the original sitting was consumed?
00:56:17
Speaker
Oh, do you save any for the morning? Yeah, there were probably, if I had to guess, I'd say probably.
00:56:28
Speaker
Mood of mist to the eyes. One and a half to two and a half slices left out of a 16 or 18 inch New York style pizza. Probably because at that point, certainly if it was hot when it got there, I'm,
00:56:47
Speaker
I'm downing three or four slices very quickly in less than 10 minutes and then eating the rest of it slowly as the rest of ah the evening wore on.
00:57:00
Speaker
And then I would leave a slice or two. And as I was getting ready in the morning, uh, probably before I brushed my teeth, I would, I would eat the other, eat at least another half a slice, not a big breakfast guy, but if it's sitting there, I'm going to eat it. You gotta to have cold pizza in the morning.
00:57:17
Speaker
hu Absolutely. And that next morning I would have been on one of the street corners in New York City trying to guide street traffic in to the building starting at, you know, 530 a.m. So it was very early.
00:57:31
Speaker
Awful. Just fucking heinous. The absolute worst part of the job, without question. Shouldn't be part of the job, frankly. but How are people getting there that early? I had Jericho speaking with Proud and Powerful backstage there.
00:57:47
Speaker
That is Santana Ortiz. Johan Santana and David Ortiz. Oh, yeah. We have Rejo and Nyla Rose. I think, look, I desperately want to understand what Vince thinks about Nyla Rose. So we'll need to hear from Papa in a little while.
00:58:09
Speaker
We'll make sure he gets back in here for that one. I like how the graphics, the guys kind of bounce around. i They are. They're floating. Yeah, it's weird.
00:58:19
Speaker
Why'd they do that? It's unsettling.
00:58:24
Speaker
We got Hangman and Pac. I believe this was supposed to be it all out originally or something.
00:58:32
Speaker
There was some issue with I might be getting my years off, too, because I remember there was some issue with where fucking Pac couldn't get his goddamn visa or something. and Oh, yeah, that's correct. You're absolutely right. It was all in.
00:58:48
Speaker
But it might be the next year's. or Nah, because next year's is COVID. I don't fucking know.
00:58:57
Speaker
It's the first one. That's what it is. Yeah, it was all in. It was supposed yeah supposed to be ah supposed to read the two of them, and Pac had to cancel. ah Yeah, that's right. and Fuck it.
00:59:11
Speaker
Because I'm thinking of All Out because I'm like Hangman and fucking Jericho wrestle.
00:59:18
Speaker
But that's like, you know, a month before this.
00:59:26
Speaker
I've always found Hangman to be very ah pleasant. I enjoy him. I appreciate him. I've come to respect him. He's he's good. Yeah, there's ah there's not much to dislike.
00:59:40
Speaker
um
00:59:45
Speaker
he he seems to take it seriously enough, but not so seriously that he seems out of time. Um, if that makes sense, like he's not part of the current generation as it were, he cares about it the right amount, it seems.
01:00:04
Speaker
And, uh,
01:00:07
Speaker
Yeah, i mean, look, at the end of the day, like against against my better instincts, my worst, excuse me, against my worst instincts, I do appreciate that he ah he went ah outside the lines and flustered old old Phil.
01:00:26
Speaker
We'll get to that eventually. Yeah. Yeah, i I mean, man, I remember when, you know, what I get it. I think he think he was having his kid or something.
01:00:38
Speaker
but when they had that like eight man thing and, uh, like, cause he was going to basically look like he was going to get the title at all out, but they ended up pushing it off till full gear. Cause he was having his kid, but man, he was fucking just red hot around that time.
01:00:57
Speaker
And, uh, and, you know, i think is, is we're six years into this and where they started and where they're at. And, You look at their kind their beginning. I mean, is is he not their Hulk Hogan? Hmm.
01:01:17
Speaker
If there is such a thing, you know, like he was he got the shot against Jericho at the beginning. He's he, you know, beat Omega.
01:01:30
Speaker
He's won the title more than once. ah Yeah, I mean, look, like when you really break it down, I suppose it is him. um It isn't certainly isn't Moxley. Moxley doesn't fit that. um That's.
01:01:49
Speaker
Archetype. ah Hangman does. Moxley is certainly more. I mean, Moxley is like the Piper of Piper ended up winning the belt. Moxley's Piper Savage.
01:02:02
Speaker
Yeah, I look at I look at at MJF as as as Savage.
01:02:11
Speaker
you know I'd say more Piper. Piper is there at the beginning, and Savage i mean savage kind of comes in a little later. but That's a good point, too. Yeah, that's a good point. Certainly the personality type seemed to fit more as well. Yeah, yeah for sure. the you know it's literally not Dueling forearm shots here to start.
01:02:29
Speaker
It probably should have been Kenny, but it wasn't, as we'll see over time. Cody. Yeah.
01:02:39
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, definitely. That's they made some mistakes off the bat. They kind of they had a lot of I mean, what was a million, a million one? Watch this.
01:02:53
Speaker
and Yeah, a little over a million, million one. That's right. Yep. They never got back to it. Nope. Which I don't know, I guess that's to be expected.
01:03:05
Speaker
Maybe, but, you know, not certainly. six years later, but I don't know too, maybe we don't appreciate the, the effect that streaming and all this other bullshit and whatever has on stuff. Like I really, I looked up some like streaming numbers cause I was like trying to figure out how many people really watch fucking like WWE pay-per-views and shit. And it's like, yeah, was like goddamn millions of people watch them now. And that just blew my fucking mind that, you know, here we are. And,
01:03:38
Speaker
All this shit that we think nobody watches really. They do. They watch a lot of it.
01:03:45
Speaker
And it's just because it's, you know, fucking available with the click of a button around the world. have you ah Have you noticed who our referee here is tonight? Is it Earl Hebner?
01:03:56
Speaker
It's Earl Hebner. Was it really? Yeah. I didn't remember that being the case. But yes, Earl Hebner is our referee for this one. I was just being smart ass.
01:04:07
Speaker
Nope. What a tope by the hanger. oh good God. Tope Suicida from Hangman Page here. You know something, Gene? Big ugly piece of shit Matt Toon sitting the front row there.
01:04:21
Speaker
If I could say something about the goddamn Hangman. Oh, there's Credence again. Yeah, that's good. He owes $15,000, but we'll talk about that later.
01:04:33
Speaker
look God, I wish Jan was alive would to see this young buck. and And she could ride her tiny Vespa down to Aaron's Creek.
01:04:44
Speaker
And the bull, the hang bull, could give her the plowing of a life while old JR sat there and thought about Doc and Barry Switzer and watched watched Adam clap them cheeks. Good God!
01:05:01
Speaker
ah Ha, ha, ha, ha.
01:05:05
Speaker
Stampede!
01:05:09
Speaker
Pretty good.
01:05:13
Speaker
Yeah, not bad.
01:05:17
Speaker
What do I got? I always like a reverse suplex. Little fucking... Hey, you remember Neville? Yeah, he was a little guy. he' was kind of muscular. he had long hair. um He did like a big like a big flip off the top rope a bunch.
01:05:34
Speaker
The man that Gravity forgot. Yeah, yeah. He wore a cape to the ring, didn't he? He did wear a cape. he was at the WrestleMania I went to in Orlando. He wrestled Austin Aries on the free show. Neville Austin Aries. And it was a fantastic match. It was a fantastic fucking match. I remember thinking to myself, that was like incredible.
01:05:54
Speaker
And it was you know nobody probably remembers it, but it was it was like really, really good. Better than most of the stuff on the main card.
01:06:05
Speaker
Do you think Tony Khan will ever make Pac come out as Neville? I don't know that he can, but I think that he would if it was possible.
01:06:16
Speaker
Neville versus Cope. Wait, though. Why would he have Pac come out as Neville? That doesn't make any sense. It's the same guy. It's like, you know.
01:06:30
Speaker
Yeah, that's Neville. No, it's not. Yes, it is.
01:06:39
Speaker
You didn't know that? Really? Yes. Oh. You didn't know this Neville? Are you serious? No. That's awesome. I thought you were fucking with me. I thought we were doing it a bit. And then I wasn't sure. Amazing.
01:06:57
Speaker
Yes. All right. the man Apparently, not not only the man that Gravity forgot, but the man that Gabe forgot. ha, ha, ha. ah
01:07:09
Speaker
Ebner says that's a two count, y'all. And well Fox doesn't like it. Why would he make him come out of the devil?
01:07:19
Speaker
The fuck with him? Because it's fucking devil. What? Right.
01:07:25
Speaker
You're going to ask me a question about fucking Austin Aries. like you austin air go off See, right oh yeah I felt like I'm like, you're answering this just a little too fucking genuine. I'm like, why is this is like not right? I not ready i was like Sure.
01:07:43
Speaker
yeah now the beard does a lot den't it yeah Hangman rolls away, gets out of his way. And that's the other thing is in like, as you look at these guys for long enough, like I've watched this long enough to know to like, for it to have set into my brain, he doesn't look as short anymore because everybody is short.
01:08:04
Speaker
Yeah, that's right. Yeah. That's a good point. So like, it just doesn't register in my brain is, Oh, he's the really short guy with all the muscles. Well, that's why Cody looked like a goddamn giant, you know?
01:08:17
Speaker
You know, and and fucking Lance Archer's like the modern day Kevin Nash. And he's 6'6". You know, that's ridiculous.
01:08:28
Speaker
But... um
01:08:32
Speaker
I had a dream the other night, and I don't know why i remember just this part, but Kevin Nash was in the dream and we were just hanging out. But I was taller than him. And I kept making jokes about it. And he got he he he kept getting upset.
01:08:48
Speaker
I mean, that's not the case. I'm not taller than Kevin Nash. No, no. If you were and you made jokes about it, he would get upset, though. Yeah. He's got some heat. Did you see that?
01:09:00
Speaker
Oh, no. Is it the punk thing with the shirt? No, no. That's old news. No, apparently he's got some heat with the modern-day WWE superstar Javon Evans.
01:09:14
Speaker
R.D. Warrior Tom Sawyer? I don't know that he has heat with Javon himself, but he has heat with some of the internet folks for... Yeah, fuck the internet folks. Look, I think you consider the source, and I understand what he's saying, and I don't think he meant anything bad, but he said that Mr. Evans was a little bit too Mr. Bojangles, and he would like to see him with more of an urban presentation.
01:09:43
Speaker
Oh, so he was basically saying he's shucking and jiving for his white overlords on television and being too happy with a big old smile on his face instead of being a little bit angry the way black people should be portrayed on television, in ah in ah in a
Controversial Comments and Diversity in Wrestling
01:09:59
Speaker
especially in ah in a sort of situation where they were ah they're in physical combat with, the and oh, man, he almost he smashed my bag of nachos, man. Oh, geez. Dude, I almost tipped over my cheeseburger, dude.
01:10:17
Speaker
Spilled it everywhere, man. Goddamn. Well, I took it as, like, he was saying, like, he's he's being presented as being too, like, silly and cheesy and should be presented with, like, a more serious edge.
01:10:33
Speaker
You know, that was my assumption, but, you know, everybody's got an opinion on it.
01:10:42
Speaker
Look, whether we like it or not, there's always going to be... this is going to get... Here's one of those moments, right? Here it is. Pace yourself. Press record and send this to all media outlets.
01:10:57
Speaker
um Whether we like it or not, there's always going to be people watching ah watching television, watching wrestling, and watching how white people behave, watching how Brown people behave watching how black people behave and going, why aren't they acting like the, the preconceived sort of um the preconceptions that I have about how they should be behaving right, right or wrong. People think that way by and large, not all people, but, and so you're going to get people with that opinion online.
01:11:38
Speaker
It's whatever, like, and Kevin Nash is old enough and doesn't give enough of a shit to, to, to not say it out loud. And then people are going to interpret it as some sort of microaggression because generation alpha and generation Z are both dumber than millennials proven.
01:12:01
Speaker
And they, they don't understand context or, uh, ah lack in and certainly lack intellectual honesty. Yeah, Kevin Nash is just making a lazy comparison, basically. is the Yeah, and that's the other thing. it It's considered a source, like you said. Yeah.
01:12:27
Speaker
Yeah, I'm not going to pick a fucking race fight with Kevin Nash. there's I grew up in Detroit, motherfucker. I don't don't think there's anything to really There's no argument to be made here. I'm on your own side. I think you're fine. Look, man, I know you like to consider yourself black, but you and I both know that you're not.
01:12:47
Speaker
I am. you Right. Yeah, no, I can't argue with you. I mean, I guess I can't about that, but you see my bandana, right? I was listening. That's good point. Yeah. Good point.
01:13:01
Speaker
Shit. I didn't see that. It's pretty fucking cool. What are you talking on, brother?
01:13:08
Speaker
It's got to be sativa. It's Viva La Hemp, my man. VivaLaHemp.com. You know, Kev, you'll remember this was right back around the time where... He dropped them right on the back of his head there. That was disgusting.
01:13:22
Speaker
Where i ah I gave you some sativa gummies out in Vegas. this I mean, I've gotten sativa gummies from a lot of bottom marks. Right, yeah.
01:13:36
Speaker
Probably more memorable for me than you. Yeah, I get it.
01:13:41
Speaker
Are you the guy that showed me how to get out of the casino? ha Nah, he was fatter than me.
01:13:54
Speaker
You took a picture with him though, didn't you? Yeah, the fat Italian guy and the the short little Portuguese dude. so Aldo Montoya? Yeah.
01:14:06
Speaker
He's a man of war, baby. Yeah. Yeah. I always found to be a little more passive. I always hate this. I hate it when hangman does the backflip without looking.
01:14:18
Speaker
They wear a ro moonsault. You mean? Whatever. Uh, he always does it without looking back and he trusts that they're just sitting in there. And I just know one day he's going to break his fucking neck and it drives me crazy. Earl Hebner got in the way there and allowed the opening for Pac to kick mule kick Hangman low.
01:14:40
Speaker
Right in his big fat cock as we established earlier. JR said, right in the jewels. Good God.
01:14:51
Speaker
Jan needs that semen. Don't danger him. Good God. Here's that big backflip coming, I would imagine. Ah, Jesus Christ.
01:15:05
Speaker
My goodness.
01:15:10
Speaker
What the fuck is Hebner doing? Hebner's arms just make me sad.
01:15:19
Speaker
My goodness. Pack gets the win here on the first Dynamite. I don't remember him winning. It's been a long time since I watched this. they I don't know that I've ever watched it back, as a matter of fact.
01:15:33
Speaker
Oh, got a little cut there on the corner of his eye. That's scary. Yeah, the hair on his face and the facial hair does everything it needs to do. I had no idea that this man was the same man.
01:15:46
Speaker
Oh, when you see the ears, you do. that's a good point. Yeah, it's the the big the big old fucking Mighty Mouse ears. You know, they get... hangman's got lose some matches and get all the press. You got to remember he's getting ready to become an alcoholic.
01:16:03
Speaker
Oh yeah, that's right.
01:16:07
Speaker
So that'll be fun to watch.
01:16:12
Speaker
Right at the same time as a lot of us were finding alcoholism to be the right answer for the pandemic.
01:16:21
Speaker
Yeah, I was probably drinking there about a 12 pack a day around then.
01:16:30
Speaker
You buried that foot into the jewels.
01:16:35
Speaker
I used to grocery shop at the jewels in Chicago.
01:16:40
Speaker
oh man. One time, dang, dude, man. I went to jewel concert, dude. Jacked my fucking meat, man, when I was out there. She played. You meant for me, dude. Oh, man. I meant for. Oh, man. I love to. I want.
01:16:57
Speaker
Man, old jewels butt in my face, dude. I'll speak in butts in my face, man. Oh, dang, man. a Open wide, man. Eat that ass, dang, dude.
01:17:09
Speaker
Oh, shit. Come on. don't Don't make Credence want to eat ass. This just makes me feel bad because now... Come on, dude. Come on, man. Oh, dang, dude. Everybody be eating ass now, man. It's 2026, dude.
01:17:28
Speaker
Did somebody say something about eating ass?
01:17:32
Speaker
Is this an ass-eating party? yeah Welcome back, Papa. We've got to the the the match for the inaugural AEW Women's Champion here between between a little Japanese girl named Riho and this human being.
01:17:51
Speaker
Her name is Nyla Rose. Are you familiar with Nyla Rose, Papa? Is she wearing Cody's skeleton face? She's not. i think Cody, this was hers first. i so Cody wears it.
01:18:06
Speaker
i see. Let's take a look. Get my cheaters on here. What do you think about her? She's a handsome gal. Indeed. Well, here's the question that I've got for you, Papa. Got this hung out hu this is this the A linguist, is she?
01:18:24
Speaker
cunningly Cunningly linguistic. Yeah. Okay. i do I do have to ask, would could you see yourself ah in relations with Nyla?
01:18:37
Speaker
Let's see here. Let look at her. I haven't seen the backside yet. Let's see what we've got going on here.
01:18:48
Speaker
Size her up. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've... ah
01:18:54
Speaker
You remember Sapphire, right? I do. Yep.
01:19:00
Speaker
So yeah, yeah, she's fine. I'll tell you ah just a little bit of information about ah Nyla Rose. She is a ah ah ah a trans woman.
01:19:14
Speaker
Oh, androgynously bizarre. Is that what saying? She is androgynous. She is a little bizarre, but she identifies as a ah woman.
01:19:25
Speaker
but ah but she is a biological male. This is penis. There's that we're saying. Yeah, there's penis there. Okay. Well, and she's wrestling in the women's division against this, uh, 95 pound Japanese woman.
01:19:42
Speaker
What do you think about that?
01:19:46
Speaker
I mean, look, you know, the internet is all abuzz about, uh, men and women's sports. So, uh, you know, how do you How do you feel about this man and in in a women's ah women's competition for a championship?
01:20:03
Speaker
I think it's probably fine since it's fake. Is that okay? Can we say that? Yeah, I think so.
01:20:14
Speaker
And you know what? You know what I see there? What do you see? I see one hell of a blowjob.
01:20:24
Speaker
Wonderful. What do you see there? She's not deep in thought. That's what I'm talking about. You see those teeth? The way she can take that little Chinese mouth and rub those Japanese teeth over my dick? Yes.
01:20:39
Speaker
Is that Fuji's daughter?
01:20:42
Speaker
Could well be. Look, the only thing I would say about Ms. Rose is I don't like her hair. What don't you like about it?
01:20:54
Speaker
It doesn't look real. Huh. Might not be real. I think it might be horse hair.
01:21:07
Speaker
So we have this this this Amazonian beast versus this little Korean gal. Is that correct?
01:21:17
Speaker
let's That's right. ah I don't know that they're in the same weight class. it seems is This seems illegal. Is this a match under Malaysian rules from the little girl's hometown or something? Is this why this is legal?
01:21:36
Speaker
Yeah, it could very well be. i'm I'm not sure. I haven't been given all the information from JR ah on what the ah what the rules are why.
01:21:47
Speaker
why this is where it is and i i don't even know why it's these two in this match for the uh the to be to crown the first women's champion of aw here well it's probably when they wrote the script it's it's predetermined you know they didn't just i do i do forget about that oh a big splash by the uh the lady penis
01:22:11
Speaker
the The little Filipino girl bridges up. She's putting her tiny Thai feet to the large woman who is penis down and now penis up.
01:22:24
Speaker
Ten up, ten down, my bitches.
01:22:30
Speaker
Boot to the face of the small North Korean lady.
01:22:41
Speaker
I believe she's the daughter of the Mongolian stomper.
01:22:46
Speaker
Archie, Archie Golding. Yeah. I'm familiar.
01:22:52
Speaker
Britt Baker is bringing the sizzling insight to, uh, to commentary here tonight. I think she's there for the tits. Ah, okay. Let me ask you something. Do you think there's symbolism with the bloody hand over the genital region of the androgynous lady?
01:23:10
Speaker
there I didn't notice there's a bloody hand over the generals. There's a bloody hand like like when Brock choked out Terry. Remember that? I do. That was good shit. He wiped it across his chest.
01:23:22
Speaker
Yeah. You think she wants to have sex with Terry and Brock?
01:23:28
Speaker
I think that is precisely what she was going for there. you think she prefers the touch of this little Indonesian lady? Oh, hey, who's who's that?
01:23:40
Speaker
That real big girl that has such a strong jawline. That's Nyla Rose, Rick. She's androgynous. I think she's a real beauty.
01:23:53
Speaker
I like her hair a lot. It looks fake.
01:24:00
Speaker
Well, tit for tat, I suppose.
01:24:05
Speaker
Who's that little Chinese girl she got up in the air?
01:24:10
Speaker
She's some kind of Malaysian or something?
Vietnam War Memories and Personal Connections
01:24:13
Speaker
I believe that she's from Vietnam. Oh. They're doing a war deal. Yeah.
01:24:22
Speaker
Yeah, Daddy was in Vietnam for a little while. He was in the late... he was a He was... He spent a lot of time in Laos in the Laotian killing fields. Maybe maybe she's from laosha or leout like Laos.
01:24:36
Speaker
Yeah, that's the word. Laos. That's what I was looking for. You know that story, Blake? The Laotian killing, or Papa, I mean, the Laotian, I mean, Vince. Goddamn, pal. Get yourself together. Yes, of course I know. One of my best friends is from Laos. His name is Khan Subarnusipone.
01:24:55
Speaker
Beautiful wife, man, daughter Connie, great people. Lived up in Stanford for about five years. He was in systems.
Wrestling Match Analysis and Symbolism
01:25:07
Speaker
This little girl's going to jump on this big girl and it's going to be something. It's how I knew she wasn't Laotian, by the way. Oh, okay. That makes a lot of sense. Completely different skin tone.
01:25:19
Speaker
Boy, oh boy, that's a strong woman. I don't care how how how light this other girl is. Catch them from midair like that. That's really something.
01:25:34
Speaker
My goodness. Yeah, she's got those big beefy dick beat her hands. Probably helps you catch a a small South Korean girl real easy.
01:25:47
Speaker
Oh, she got a chair out. Doesn't seem quite fair. Oh, this is attitude era. You know, oh i I gotta to tell you something, Rick. I feel like the this this small little Australian girl here, there's they're sexualizing her.
01:26:08
Speaker
Well, how do you mean? Look at Kevin Smith looks very surprised.
01:26:13
Speaker
It's like she's got little those little tiny panties that her mama laid out for her on.
01:26:21
Speaker
don't want to be a pirate. I rouse up, pal. That's my boy. God damn it.
01:26:30
Speaker
See if we can catch some hang down from the backside.
01:26:36
Speaker
I am down. I am so down. You ever watch a show on MTV with Dan Cortez? Great guy.
01:26:48
Speaker
Love Thai boys, though.
01:26:54
Speaker
He's a mimbo. Kind of like the Von Ericks.
01:27:00
Speaker
What's she going to do? She's going to put her dick in the chair? Oh, goodness. She's going to jump off that ring. Oh, my goodness gracious. Oh, my. You know where she went wrong on that swanton, Rick?
01:27:13
Speaker
Yeah, she missed. She did not perform it modestly. Oh. Yeah, I suppose she she wasn't modest and she dropped to the bottom.
01:27:25
Speaker
That's right. Oh, She just stomped on that that big fat woman from the from the the ring apron. And I don't care. 95 pounds is 95 pounds on your belly from the up top. And you figure in the torque of the thing, you know, ah a lot of experience with torque in in my baseball playing days, understanding how the the physics of the baseball worked and whatnot. My goodness, that's got to hurt a lot, no matter no matter who you are, you know.
01:27:51
Speaker
And yeah, I think you're right, Vince, too, about the sexualization. Because this this little thing, I mean, look, I don't find her sexually attractive, not in the slightest. But that's just because I i prefer the the company of a manlier woman. And I am part homosexual as well.
01:28:09
Speaker
Which part would that be? Oh, whatever part strikes me in any given day. Look at that. I see the outline of her penis through her pants. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
01:28:24
Speaker
Penis and pants. Boy, oh boy, this this doesn't look realistic at all to me.
01:28:32
Speaker
Looks like they're just kept hanging out. You know, I think that might be the daughter Sataharo O.
01:28:44
Speaker
Are you familiar with him, Rick, as a baseball man?
01:28:48
Speaker
I don't have a lot of experience with him, but a good friend of mine does.
01:28:56
Speaker
Who's that? His name's Bob Horner. Oh, Bob, you ever big wrestling fan. Lives down in ah Arizona, I believe. goes at the Javolinas every night.
01:29:09
Speaker
Look, I'm glad you remember, Vince. It's a good thing. Look, I figure, you know, if Sao Haruo sanjaro was involved, you know there's some shenanigans going on because he ran me out of Japan.
01:29:24
Speaker
Correct. Like you wouldn't believe I, I was, I put his records at risk and you didn't like it. And so he had a lot of power, a lot of pull.
01:29:35
Speaker
Sounds like papa. With the, with the Nippon, whatever it was called Nippon league. And, and I, uh, I just, I ran out of town and ultimately i blame him directly for my own death.
01:29:50
Speaker
I, uh, held on to lot of that hate for a long time. And that's why I ended up dying the way that I did. um It just reminds me, it is, there is a new moon this week. And so I got to ah talk about the choice of a human sacrifice. So we're going go through that just real quick here. Figure it's right on. Boy, oh boy, that big girl just nearly decapitated that little, little, little Thai girl. Is that a lady boy? i don't know. Anyway.
01:30:25
Speaker
the supposed purpose in performing the ritual of sacrifice is to throw the energy provided by the blood or the freshly slaughtered victim into the atmosphere of the ah the magical working thereby intensifying the magician's chances of success the white magician assumes that since blood represents the life force there's no better. Maybe that's why that thing's on her crotch, you know? No, yes. Symbolism. Correct. There's no better way to appease the gods or demons and to present them with, uh, suitable quantities of it, you know, uh, combine this rationale with the fact that a dying creature is expending an overabundance of adrenal and other biochemical energies.
01:31:11
Speaker
And, uh, you have what appears to be an unbeatable combination. Yeah. The white magician, wary of the, uh, Consequences involved in the killing of a human being naturally utilizes birds or lower creatures in his ceremonies. It seems that these sanctimonious wretches feel no guilt in the taking of a non-human life as opposed to a human's.
01:31:34
Speaker
you know this is This is the whole point of this book here. you know we've We've covered it in the past, Papa. I mean, Vince. And my goodness, that 95-pound woman tried to pick up the big fat one and nearly died. She fell right on her fucking head. Yeah, so, anywho.
01:31:51
Speaker
ah What a dumb bitch. these ah these ah These Satanists, man, I'll tell you what, we ah what I didn't understand at first, I was just kind of suckered into the thing, but But now that I'm dead, I really realize we were just trolling these dipshit Christians all the time.
01:32:08
Speaker
Boy, oh boy, just suckering them into getting pissed off about shit they didn't know.
01:32:14
Speaker
That's why we had Sean go.
01:32:18
Speaker
Where did Sean go? Papa Sean go. Oh, well, I remember him. he He wore that face paint, had that big, sweet-looking
Women's Wrestling Milestones and Gaming Influence
01:32:28
Speaker
bald head when he took off his top hat.
01:32:31
Speaker
Oh, I like the way that he shook his chest.
01:32:35
Speaker
He was all about the voodoo. You see, people don't know Bob and I became close friends because I too was ran out of Japan by a by a ruthless Japanese man.
01:32:48
Speaker
The giant Baba. That's why I took Andre from him. The penis lady just hit a DVD on the little... Look at that pussy.
01:32:58
Speaker
What? Hey, she's got Hitman colors on. i see so I see white. I don't see any black with the pink. Is this bit is the bitch on commentary said one word? nothing worth Nothing of value. She absolutely shit the bed here without question.
01:33:17
Speaker
Why is the crowd enjoying this so much is what I don't understand. because It's it's just a crowd full of perverts. Okay. that makes They're more into this than any other match so far on the card. and we saying Ding, ding.
01:33:34
Speaker
Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner. Look who's standing up in the front row. Brisco's boy.
01:33:47
Speaker
Look, here's the deal.
01:33:51
Speaker
80% of these men went home this evening and fantasized about Nyla Rose putting her penis inside that little Japanese girl's ass.
01:34:05
Speaker
You know how the Undertaker would do the reverse tombstone spot and people would flip and flip and flip? they They wanted that with this. But they never stopped. And they just kept sucking and eating and coming and eating and coming and eating and and fucking coming.
01:34:24
Speaker
that I get it. That's because they're deviants. You understand? Look, you can kind of see her penis.
01:34:33
Speaker
Oh my goodness. a yellow thing just I got to go to the bathroom.
01:34:47
Speaker
There you have it.
01:34:50
Speaker
Riho is the inaugural Women's World Champion here on the first Dynamite October 2019.
01:35:06
Speaker
The music that she comes out to sounds like the music from F-Zero. Remember that video game for Super Nintendo? think it was my... Maybe it was my favorite Super Nintendo game. I really liked it. I liked it better than Mario Kart................
01:35:37
Speaker
My goodness.
01:35:43
Speaker
What i wonder about is is how she got this role. And and I think what what in the world is going on here? Who is this man? Who is this man?
01:35:56
Speaker
who Who is this man? ah Jesus. Sounds like a Jack Cameron coming out of my bathroom. Hey, that's Michael Nakazawa. Why is he? He's Kenny's buddy. This is all Kenny here. Kenny's... Oh, that's a good point. Yeah, I forgot that t yeah Kenny was fucking this girl. I forgot that.
01:36:13
Speaker
um Was he? And this guy, probably, too. Yeah. um That's fine. Oh, my. Uh-oh. Look out. Yep. Oh, that's why they put him in there. Okay.
01:36:24
Speaker
Well, he had to translate, too, for her. Yeah, sure. i guess that makes sense. um I was making the comment that Riho's theme music sounds like... Oh, God.
01:36:37
Speaker
She dropped him right on his tippy top of his head and had to pick him up again. Sounds like the ah the the music from F-Zero. Do you remember F-Zero for Super Nintendo? Yeah, but not well enough to know the music. Okay.
01:36:53
Speaker
I think that was probably my favorite Super Nintendo game. i was telling the folks I liked it better. I liked it better than Kenny Omega and his di Mario Kart. Yeah. Kenny Omega just came out to save Riho from nila Rose, who's a woman.
01:37:16
Speaker
it it so staring Very strange events here. And he mouths to Nyla Rose, what the fuck are you doing? As you worked your way out.
01:37:29
Speaker
And now we have the main event of the evening here. Is it main event time? Who do we have here? is main event time.
Main Event Setup and Wrestler Backgrounds
01:37:41
Speaker
This is one of the probably only times we ever heard this theme song, I believe.
01:37:51
Speaker
The Young Bucks. Yes, indeed. and the Omega, the Elite, coming to the ring to the theme song from their YouTube show. Just recently, the Bucks went back to these tassels.
01:38:05
Speaker
Yeah, I do i've I've enjoyed what they've been wearing. I like it. It's what they should have been doing. Fucking whatever. I think people feel nostalgic for 2019. I think it's part of the reason that we're doing this.
01:38:21
Speaker
But it's a super weird thing to say out loud. Nostalgic for 2019. But it is what it is. Mm-hmm.
01:38:29
Speaker
It's last year before everything got really shitty, I guess. Jim Ross just said, with tv time i love with TV time remaining. Jim Ross is ah gross.
01:38:47
Speaker
I'll take that as a compliment from some fat shit like you. You remind me of Leon if he would have fucking died.
01:39:00
Speaker
Well, you know, vi Jim, fear I
01:39:10
Speaker
Hey. Who are these Puerto Ricans? Look, look, Stroke. ah you can You can make fun of my stutter the minute you can open the entirety of your mouth, you big tub of goo.
01:39:27
Speaker
um don't think Jared's here.
01:39:33
Speaker
Oh, it's evil from New Japan.
01:39:38
Speaker
Oh, no, it's the Painmaker. Good God. You remember the Painmaker, Gabe? i I do remember the Painmaker. To the Painmaker's credit, you know, this does all kind of start with the Jericho Omega.
01:39:54
Speaker
ni it It got on my radar. They got me to buy a goddamn New Japan pay-per-view.
01:40:06
Speaker
So we've got a main event here. It's the Young Bucks and Kenny Omega versus Chris Jericho and Santana and Ortiz, proud and powerful. You know, Santana and Ortiz hate each other now. Like in real life, absolutely hate each other.
01:40:23
Speaker
Wasn't that just so weird for the pro wrestling business? yeah yeah These two men realize that their only value is together.
01:40:34
Speaker
correct i imagine that's exactly correct. Although right now, Mike Santana is ah the TNA world champion. yeah He was he was until. No, yeah, he is. He is the TNA world champion. I'm so glad I was hoping you would say the words Mike Santana.
01:40:55
Speaker
ah Thank you for proving my point without forcing me to say a word. when i When I was living in New York City, um I went to a couple of House of Glory wrestling events.
01:41:09
Speaker
Was that Hog? Hog? You went to Hog? Yep. And at the time, they were a tag team called EYFBO. loved Hog. They were they were essentially, they were like a rip off of, um, that, uh, that musical group LMFAO, the guys that sing like a workout.
Societal Changes and Modern Wrestling
01:41:37
Speaker
No, I don't know. And they would wear like big Afros and shit. And, uh, I saw them wrestle at, uh, this venue in Queens and,
01:41:52
Speaker
All I remember is is Santana being on the outside of the ring, er puking onto the mats and then continuing to wrestle.
01:42:03
Speaker
Good. okay Because Mike Santana is a professional. Yeah, he's a gamer, as it were.
01:42:13
Speaker
Speaking of gamers, here's Kenny Omega. Big time street fighter aficionado really into the video games.
01:42:24
Speaker
Literal gamer. Look, I think we need to just probably need to address the gamer thing. We do. Because like, God, it's it's just I i hate.
01:42:41
Speaker
the fact that I now have to question the things that come out of my mouth and ask myself, am I just the fucking old guy asshole now?
01:42:53
Speaker
Or am I right? And I wrestle with that, but no pun. Yeah.
01:43:03
Speaker
Like, I think what it comes back to. in I look, Anybody that does not fall within this frame of time is going to shit on it, argue, tell you you're wrong and everything because they are jealous that they don't have it.
01:43:27
Speaker
But if you grew up in a certain time, you know that things were better and when they were better. And and it's about the calibration, really.
01:43:41
Speaker
And there is a period of time where everything was in harmony and calibrated. Just in it all melded together. And that time was somewhere 1980 to 1994. Right in there. Like,
01:44:00
Speaker
people that.
01:44:03
Speaker
bright and there like sure this people that Oh, we got a big moment here. Jon Moxley sneaking up behind Kenny Omega here in the main event.
01:44:18
Speaker
This is a... Moxley attacked Omega in Vegas.
01:44:25
Speaker
But anyway, before I lose my train and thought, the...
01:44:31
Speaker
the the the degree to which these motherfuckers, some of them got into video games and like, I just, I don't understand how some things have just become such, uh,
01:44:56
Speaker
like all consuming or part of their identities, I guess. Like, Like, why the fuck do I know so much about what video games Kenny Omega likes?
01:45:10
Speaker
I'll tell you exactly why. It's because they're catering to this new audience, to these Gen Z dipshits that need to have something in common with all the people that they watch on television.
01:45:25
Speaker
And that's what makes them want to spend money, um as opposed to wanting to be better than themselves and watch people that are better than you on television.
01:45:39
Speaker
Right? Like, that's the that's the difference for me, in my opinion, is that we wanted to be Hulk Hogan because we all wanted to be giant and have huge muscles and just fucking just take care of business and beat up the fat dudes and and and beat up the monsters and beat up the bullies and stuff like that. And instead...
01:46:02
Speaker
ah we just nowadays, they just want to be like, they want to be exactly the same as, and they want, they want their quote unquote heroes to be exactly the same as them.
01:46:14
Speaker
It's a, it's a big time switch and the egalitarian shit that, that kind of rules the world is in my opinion, part of the problem.
01:46:25
Speaker
Like we, we have stopped having a hierarchy and we have stopped, desiring to be better than who we are.
01:46:40
Speaker
we have a paradigm shift through right glass table. glass table
01:46:50
Speaker
We have environmental spot work leading to commercial.
01:46:55
Speaker
So yeah, that's that's my opinion is is that it's just There's the shift in in reality. Yeah, shift in reality. There it is.
01:47:09
Speaker
it's a it's It's a de-evolution is what it is, people. We're getting worse. We're aspiring to less.
01:47:24
Speaker
What are you doing? Dog farting in there? See? God damn it. You wouldn't have put up with that. 1985. would kicked the shit out of that dog and went and fucked your wife. and
01:47:40
Speaker
yeahev but As you said, the evolution. It's a mystery. Pulled strings and no one sees. God bless Lemmy.
01:47:52
Speaker
Oh, that mole. My goodness. the ace of spade The Ace of Spades! This has become a two-on-three affair because Kenny Omega's been... Flipping, flopping bullcrap.
01:48:06
Speaker
Yep. With a stupid fucking head split. Like, this is PWG? I mean, yeah Yeah, pretty much.
01:48:23
Speaker
I will say you know We can make fun of them a lot, but the Young Bucks again almost always put on really decent matches. I really enjoy watching the matches that they're in.
01:48:38
Speaker
Yeah, no, I like them. I got no problems with them. Look, here's the deal. i probably should have said this at the beginning, but I came to a realization a few years back that before you do anything with wrestling today, especially you have to ask yourself, you have to to say to yourself, you know, do, do I want to enjoy wrestling? Yes or no.
01:49:09
Speaker
And if you do, then you're going to need to accept some truths and put them away from that point on. And, you go from there because otherwise you won't be able to like it at all because of stupid shit like Ortiz right there.
01:49:28
Speaker
Terrible. Dumb fucking idiot. And him and Santana should hate each other because they're both stupid. But this is what I'm saying, you know, and I i did that. And I, you know, I like AEW and it got pretty shitty for a while, but they've, they've definitely turned it around. And also if you're going to watch modern, I don't know. I, I can't watch WWF today or WWE and I'm not going to, and they're just all super shitty people over there. So I'm just not going to watch them period.
01:50:08
Speaker
So point being, you know, if, if you want to like it, you're going to have to accept some things. And if you want to just shit on it, then, You can surely do that. 20. mean, look, this is the first time I haven't watched the Royal Rumble in God, I don't know how long.
01:50:26
Speaker
um Oh, you missed the debut of Royce Keys. I did. i Well, I mean, I didn't miss it because I saw it on Twitter. Royce Keys. I didn't know that his real name. It's not his real name.
01:50:38
Speaker
That's not what they said. That's what I read. That's his real fucking name. Nah, his real name is ah William Hobson. Wow. um then that's stupid.
01:50:49
Speaker
Royce Keys is like his grandmother's name and his son's name. Something like that. His grandmother's last name and his son's name. I'm so glad do you know that. yeah You're really not watching, are you?
01:51:02
Speaker
I did watch the Royal Rumble. His real name is William Hobson and that's his grandmother and son's name. I read shit. I don't know what to tell you. I was just scrolling and it was a little...
Episode Reflection and Notable Wrestling Events
01:51:14
Speaker
che a fact when you when you when you were When you scroll 11 hours a day, that's us that's ah that's what you pick up.
01:51:26
Speaker
Some scroll, some sleep. Main event of the first dynamite here goes to the the victors. They're Chris Jericho and proud and powerful.
01:51:40
Speaker
tito or Tito and Ortiz. Candy-ass Tito Santana. Tito Powers and Candy-Ass Jimmy Santana make their return.
01:51:52
Speaker
Oh, and here comes Cody to save the day for the Bucks. This this feud set up earlier in the evening.
01:52:06
Speaker
up and here comes Sammy Guevara. To the dick.
01:52:12
Speaker
The Milky Mexican kicks him in the dick. And who's coming out now? They call him the natural. rules Naturally. Natural. Another dick kick.
01:52:24
Speaker
They got fucking Johnny Ace booking. Or Bruce Hart, I mean.
01:52:30
Speaker
Oh, good God. Good God. Oh, my goodness. We're here today. I'd give her the swagger.
01:52:40
Speaker
Who would you give it to? Would you give her give her to Swagger or hang hang Hangman if you had a choice? I'd have that little Puerto Rican Polynesian girl doing finger cuffs with him.
01:52:57
Speaker
It'd be like an extra long finger cuff. We have the ah the formation here of... ah The Jericho Appreciation Society, as I recall. the inner circle. Oh, okay. The first round. Yeah, it's the first. I think, yes, it's important to note here, to to make note of how much better off all these men are today because of their run with Jericho here.
01:53:22
Speaker
let's Let's... Let's take a look at the tag team. They hate each other. ah Sammy, I think, is in Ring of Honor. I'm not sure. he is, yep. And Hager's probably doing racist stuff in Oklahoma.
01:53:40
Speaker
Doing interviews about Tony Khan not being worth a damn as a human being. Telling people he couldn't be racist because he was in a faction with two Mexicans, as he calls them.
01:53:55
Speaker
Oh, shit. That's good stuff. You understand? He was a former WWE champion. Jack Swagger. hi look I like that.
01:54:07
Speaker
Man, when about 2009, 10 ish in there. um i was all right with him. And I definitely liked using him in the Smackdown versus Raw video games.
01:54:22
Speaker
Why? He's had a really, like, I liked his moves. There's lot suplexes and, like, here, we get a goddamn gut-wrench powerbomb. That was just finished with him.
01:54:33
Speaker
Eat shit, Dustin. Ooh. Ooh. That was gross. That's our second androgynous folk of the show.
01:54:48
Speaker
did they Did they lose out on money not tagging them two up? What? to od Cody and Dustin? Dustin and Nyla. Oh. The androgynously bizarre.
01:55:01
Speaker
Well, look, you know, Dustin is an outspoken advocate for the trans community, and so he probably would have been up for it. You could still bring her back in the territory, right? I think she's still around.
01:55:14
Speaker
She just doesn't do anything.
01:55:17
Speaker
Oh, Judas effect. That's going around these days.
01:55:25
Speaker
Sure is. I believe as you put it, I'm an unemployed piece of shit, right?
01:55:33
Speaker
Hey, man. Takes a fat piece of shit to know a piece of shit.
01:55:39
Speaker
They're my pieces of shit, though.
01:55:43
Speaker
Well, Papa, I believe that's what they call the button.
01:55:49
Speaker
This is the end of the first episode of Dynamite. And next week, we move on to... Episode two in Boston, Massachusetts. Who knows? Jeff Bagwell might even show up.
01:56:04
Speaker
What did you, what do you think, Papa? Your first, uh, your first foray into all elite entertainment. Now that we've taken over, uh, how do you feel about where things started?
01:56:20
Speaker
Well, I think as, uh, as we've noted and, and taken in in this vertical horizontal distribution medium of the streaming platform known as the home box office maximum, ah is important to realize that the scripted entertainment of the all elite entertainment of one Anthony Kahn Jr. is um it's important to recognize that it is merely a facsimile and a simulation of a representation of the entertainment that I established many ah years ago before this and that um I would like it to be known that I also never um had
01:57:14
Speaker
ejaculated in in Blake's bathroom to the transgendered bizarre woman. and