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27: Top 3 Embarrassing High School Moments
58 Plays9 months ago
Boy Howdy! Buckle yourselves in for a wild ride as we brave the depths of high school and relive our most embarrassing moments.*** If you're an adult who knew us during this time, please, skip the first twenty or so minutes of this podcast. It involves periods.
Broached topics include: Post-Hand Embarrassment, How to Insert a Tampon, Asking Boys to Dance, Creepy Teachers, The Pain of Existing at 15, Psychotic Girl Crushes, and Periods, Period.
Follow us @MyTopEverything on Insta for updates! Email us at mytopeverythingpodcast@gmail.com with topic suggestions, comments, or questions.
***the most embarrassing moments we are willing to share publicly. These may not be our absolute most embarrassing, which we will take to the grave.
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Transcript
Podcast Editing Tips: Managing Background Noise
00:00:00
Speaker
Like just say while. Why do we got a will? We're not going to be able to cut this out of the podcast. You don't know anything about what we can and can't cut, first of all. All right. Yeah, that's goddamn right. If somebody's talking while something's in the background, Grayson can't cut it. But I come in and I go, snip, snip, snip, snip.
00:00:18
Speaker
Snip, snip, snip, snip, snip. You don't know the ways I, Frankenstein, your words together to make things sound like it makes sense. OK, it's true. It's incredible. We sound like 50 percent stupider before before that. I am plugged in, so I don't know. Sorry. That's OK. We can move on.
Introduction to 'My Talk Everything' Podcast
00:01:00
Speaker
Welcome to My Talk Everything. We are three best friends who, in case you couldn't guess, will argue about anything and everything. Whilst you listen. God, it just sounds wrong. It just sounds, I don't know. This is where we take language, we make it our own. We say whilst and eventually it'll be a thing. Whilst you listen along. Whilst you join us.
00:01:27
Speaker
I'm going to do that too. It feels so wrong. You're acting like you were over here saying like, wow, your whole life, like you've ever fucking used that word before. You're like, oh, it's so wrong in my daily life. I'm using it so much. Also, my question, if you've been hearing people use it a lot more, why?
00:01:46
Speaker
Does is no one pronouncing it right when they say it in your presence? My theory on this is that I first read it in a bunch of books. Like I remember almost DNFing a book because it kept using the word whilst. And so I think I had the pronunciation in my head. And that's just that's fair. Marion, Marion had one. Grayson, what was it where Marion didn't know how to pronounce it because she had only read it in a book. Oh, we're talking about damning again. Yeah.
00:02:17
Speaker
I love a good damn name. No, but I'm sure that there's a TV show where they say damn thing out of a case. Damn it. Yeah, they probably do. On the updates. Anyway,
High School Embarrassments: A Personal Look
00:02:30
Speaker
our topic today is top three high school embarrassments. I'm excited about this category. How difficult was it for you to think back?
00:02:43
Speaker
and try and think of something that you were embarrassed by in high school. It was pretty hard for me. I don't feel like I have a lot keeping me up at night or like anything, a thought that will wake me up or just come to me randomly of like, oh my God, yikes. I have one personal one, so it was very difficult for me. I feel like I have ones, but I'm not willing to like put them into the world's viewing, you know? Correct. Oh, there's ones you're like too embarrassed about.
00:03:12
Speaker
It's not even embarrassed. It's just like, I don't want specific people to know this. Nobody ever needs to hear the recording of that. I see.
00:03:21
Speaker
Yeah, I think the one that like I don't want to go into or talk about, well, I don't know. Maybe somebody else will have this on there. Never mind. We'll see. There's one that I don't think will be on here, but that's definitely in my list. A lot of these for me are ones that like when I think back on them, I'm embarrassed, but at the time I wasn't embarrassed. Like, you know, there's like post hand.
00:03:45
Speaker
instead of second hand, it's like post hand embarrassment over this. Does anyone just be post embarrassment? Post embarrassment. That's what I wrote. Post embarrassment. But I like the idea of post hand. I like the idea of something that kind of like gives us a little bit more texture to any type of embarrassment. You know, first hand, second hand, post hand, post hand, post post. Wait, what'd you say?
00:04:14
Speaker
It left my hand. Second hand, first hand, post hand is after I've released it. Oh, yeah, I like that. Post hand. Post hand. So does anyone want to go first or should I kick this off or? I'll go first. Wow. Reddit saved my list this weekend. What? I don't know. Wait, are you not doing your own embarrassments from high school? No.
00:04:44
Speaker
I have one. Oh my God. Oh my God. Already negative one. What are you doing here? This is about your top three high school members. Since when? Since when? This is like a memory. This is like top three panic attacks. That episode was really funny. Exactly. Every time that I have tried to come up with the list after, you know, I come up with it and then I come on here and I say how hard it was, you're always like, Oh, well you can, it's not to be yours every single time.
00:05:11
Speaker
Every single time. This one, it so clearly has to be yours. Why? Because it's memories. This is memories. This is shared experience. This is high school. My top three high school embarrassments, not people's top three. Isn't it top three high school embarrassments? My top three high school embarrassments. Top three embarrassing high school moments. We're not going to argue about this because I've been told this is an okay tactic in the past, so I'm going with it.
00:05:38
Speaker
I can't wait. Do you agree? Do you agree on the negative one point? I do. Cause I'm a little disappointed. I didn't look at the dredges of my fucking memory and I'm about to
The Role of Reddit in Storytelling
00:05:50
Speaker
share some things. Yeah. We're about to bear our souls. And you're over here like stranger on Reddit. Yeah. Okay. So tell us, reread the story to us that we can look up. I guess I'm ready. Okay. Um, so it says, um,
00:06:07
Speaker
Up until the eighth grade, I had gone to a small Christian school. Freshman year, I started public school. I had gained a lot of weight and didn't know why. That December, my mom pulled me out of school and told me I had to have an ovarian cyst removed the next morning. When the surgeon first saw me, his first words were, wow, you look six months pregnant. It was a 15 to 20 pound cyst. Turns out the whole school thought the same. Rumor had it the Christian school kicked me out for being pregnant and I left early that day to have a baby. That took a while to blow over.
00:06:36
Speaker
Yeah. Okay. That'll happen. You were just ready to hate it. I read that one earlier today. Because I was like, maybe me reading other people's embarrassing moments will help me remember one of mine. And that's a legit strategy. Yeah.
00:06:57
Speaker
Remember yours. I'm not embarrassed about this at all. This is not something in the future that I'm going to be like, what's your top three podcast embarrassments? This is not one of them. We'll make sure to make that list for each other. You have something to choose from. I assume this doesn't even make your top 20. Singer. I can't even be mad about it. That was good. Wow. You want to go next? Yeah.
00:07:23
Speaker
Every time, this one's general in the sense of it happened more than once, every time, and if you knew
Recurring Embarrassments and Coping Mechanisms
00:07:30
Speaker
me in the past and you were older than me, you were an adult who mentored me, maybe a friend's parent, maybe don't listen to this next one, just maybe skip ahead five minutes, but did you skip ahead?
00:07:43
Speaker
okay great okay now it's just my peers here right okay my number three most embarrassing high school moment would be anytime that i like kind of knowingly how to parry
00:07:57
Speaker
kind of knowingly had a period stain on my jeans and did not do anything about it. Like the amount of times that certain people, like I remember a certain very popular girl in school being very nice and coming up to me and like telling me once like, Hey,
00:08:14
Speaker
You've got a stain on your jeans. Like, do you need a sweater? Do you need something? And so I tied my hoodie around. But I already knew I had a stain on my jeans. I don't know what was going on with pads back then. Maybe pads are better now. I'm out of the game. But back then, my pads were always moving around. What? Yeah. Were you using wing pads? Yeah. I don't know.
00:08:39
Speaker
oh right but they like shift sometimes i don't know also my flow wasn't great enough i don't think i was like changing them as much as you should be i was nasty so like i think that i don't know what was going on but they would like overflow and then i would have this like
00:08:58
Speaker
little murder streak on my jeans. Like in the middle or in the back? Like it came off the back of the bag. It's a kind of in the middle bag. Weird! And you use wing pads? Sometimes, yeah. I think I use both. I don't know what is going on there. Oh my god, Grayson's so red. Grayson's so incredibly red. As red as my jeans.
00:09:22
Speaker
For the record, it's like 95 Fahrenheit in this box that I'm sitting in. Yeah, I'm also dying a little bit. Yeah, so I just would like leave them on. I was just so tired, you know? And then eventually I just stopped wearing pads because my period was light enough that I just kind of let it happen to my doctor.
00:09:44
Speaker
You were like, sacrifice. I feel like you were probably also the person that was like, yeah, I'm a woman. I have a fucking period. Get over it. I kind of feel like that was probably your vibe. I just like really didn't care. But only if somebody somebody said something there, I'm like, great. Now I had to pretend like I care.
00:10:02
Speaker
Like, ugh, I guess I have to wear my stupid hoodie around. I would sit there and be like, well, how many more periods, pardon the pun, do I have with this person before I can take this hoodie off again and go back to my normal way of living? Yeah, anyway, so I have posthand embarrassment about that now. But at the time, I was just kind of like, this is too much effort to care about. It's not like I was
00:10:26
Speaker
getting any dong anyway like you know like it's not like yeah there was no one to there was no one to wear clean jeans for
00:10:43
Speaker
Oh my God. Your self was not enough reason, apparently. Anyway, Carrot. So you see now why
Living Up to 'Most Likely' Superlatives
00:10:50
Speaker
maybe I'm a little salty that you're just like coming in here with like somebody else's quote unquote embarrassing moments from high school. I can tell them. I just don't feel like a lot of them are. I have three. I can tell them one of them is not great. So just warning. Not tell that one. I can also help you think of something.
00:11:13
Speaker
I like that idea. Although I think I hate that idea. Nevermind. Let me go again. Cut the previous shit. I'll tell you my tampon story because that was the one I didn't really want to have. Yes. That I know here.
00:11:29
Speaker
Yes, the tampon story. I was hoping this would come up. Of course you were. I was the oldest of the group and one of the first people to have my period. And the most mature and womanly. Her uterus was just ready to breed.
00:11:47
Speaker
I was pretty late to my period too. I was like 15 when I first got my period, but somehow I was- No, you weren't. Dude, no, you weren't. I was 14, almost 15. Oh yeah, because it was freshman year, you're right. Oh my God, I got mine in like fifth grade. Yeah, I was really late.
00:12:02
Speaker
Wait, yeah, I had mine before you too. Yeah. But somehow I was the first one or at least one of the first people to try tampons or whatever. You were thinking I shouldn't go around with your mistakes. I was like, you know, secondhand embarrassment. Yeah.
00:12:25
Speaker
Um, so it was Friday night. We were all going to a Lincoln football game as you do on a Friday night. And, uh, Savina was over and I was like, okay, I need to figure out how to put my tampon in. And she was like,
00:12:39
Speaker
being to classic Sabina, just being like, oh my God, okay, let me know if you need anything. And I was like, I just need to go in the bathroom. I looked it up, I figured it out. I Googled how to do it. And then I tried, right, as one does, and I also had a very light flow, and so I didn't understand the physics quite yet. And so I got it halfway in, and then I waddled up to the high school with the tampon half in, half out,
00:13:06
Speaker
And then I was so uncomfortable because it was half out of my body. And I was like, listen, I can't do this. I have to take it out. It feels like I'm giving birth. I have to get it out. And so I went underneath the bleachers with Savannah, maybe a couple other people, and I pulled it out. I don't know why I didn't go to the bathroom. It was so urgent.
00:13:24
Speaker
Kara, you did go to the bathroom. Yes, I was there. You went to because around the bleachers was that one little bathroom. Do you know what I'm talking about? If you went around the bleacher, like almost under the bleachers, but it was a stall. We were all there with you. Well, not all of us. It definitely means we're there while you're trying to get this thing out. I was okay. Bring in the. I remember it being under there. Yeah, you were in the pub. Yeah. Yeah. And so that was my first. Did you get it? Did you get it out under?
00:13:55
Speaker
What'd you do? Oh yeah. Yeah, it came out. It wasn't even all the way in. Did you put a new one in? Maybe that's what I'm remembering, but... I highly doubt that. It was so uncomfortable. I definitely would not have done that.
00:14:09
Speaker
When was the next time you used a tampon? Probably a couple of years. Like it took a long time because I didn't understand that you have to have, you know, it has to be the middle of your period or you have to have a heavier flow and I just don't have heavy periods and I didn't understand that at the time. And so I was like trying to use a tampon when I super didn't need one and it just didn't go up, you know? Yeah. Also the instructions for those are like,
00:14:34
Speaker
almost IKEA level instructions. They're like, they're all pictures. They're like, put your heels on the bathtub. What if you don't have a bathtub? I know these kind of like, they're like 42 degree angle, not, not one degree more, not one degree less. When you put that baby in like, it's like, you're basically in downward dog while you're doing it. It's like, why are they making you go through all of this? Yeah. I don't think I successfully put one in.
00:15:02
Speaker
until college was probably the first time that I like I remember trying to in one of the Lincoln bathrooms and I know Savannah was there I don't know who else we need to get Savannah on the horn for some
00:15:18
Speaker
I think that I also tried again the year, the summer right before college because I was a lifeguard and I had to be like on duty in a swimsuit. And I remember thinking if I, I have to have a tampon, like I have to figure this out. And so I think I figured it out like after senior year. Did you ever, I just remember, I have such post hand embarrassment about that. Did you ever try to like wear a pad while going swimming?
00:15:48
Speaker
No. No. Oh my god. It is intended to soak it up. It did. It's gonna happen. Yeah, it's like a big soggy diaper.
00:16:11
Speaker
So after a couple of those attempts, I just stopped worrying about that too when I went swimming. I like the problem solving. You know, some of us have to figure it out on our own.
00:16:22
Speaker
Mara's face. I don't have any memories of putting in a tampon so badly that it ruined me for a couple years. Congrats. But I would sometimes get the pad wrong. Congrats on your amazing vagina.
Dating Disasters: Hand-Holding Fails
00:16:40
Speaker
Thank you. Slide into my DMs. What'd you say? I said, sometimes I would get the pad placement wrong. Did you start to say slide into my DMs?
00:16:52
Speaker
Yeah, I did say slide. Because you said congrats on your perfect vagina. I know what I said. We're going to have to put a warning on this one. Like, hey, if you're over the age of like 36, please skip the first 20 minutes of this podcast. Or under 18. Well, obviously, that's what the explicit is for, for all the children.
00:17:16
Speaker
I'm going to bring it back from the blood experiences with my third most embarrassing high school moment during that play where I got murdered. A murder is announced. Yes, I was murdered.
00:17:33
Speaker
I had to wear a dress and in the scene where I got murdered I would fall to my death and the first time or like I did it at dress rehearsal and I fell with my back to the audience and they all got a nice little look at my underwear so yeah yeah that'll happen my bad. But dress rehearsal is like
00:17:59
Speaker
It's like the other people involved in the play really. It's not like parents. Yeah. It's not like a hundred people at least. But it's still. And. Yeah. Did you wear shorts after that or how did we mediate the situation? I fell with my face.
00:18:17
Speaker
towards the audience. And I think I didn't, I didn't fall as fast because the first time I did it, I was like, Oh, gotta go limp. And then they were like, are your knees okay? And I was like, yeah.
00:18:33
Speaker
I am like 17, so. Yeah. What's an injury? I don't feel anything. Yeah. Everything's fine. So yeah, that's it. That's what I got. I should probably do my number two, which is similar. OK. OK. I think it was either it's either junior or senior year of high school. I can't exactly remember. I do remember I had I had.
00:18:59
Speaker
Whichever homeroom. I think it was with Mandy and Savina. If everyone remembers Mandy.
00:19:07
Speaker
Yes. But I know that Twilight, like the first movie was coming out or something, but for the second movie. Okay, then I think it was senior year. Yeah, but okay, so the very first day of school that year, we had like one of those rallies in the gym. Do you know how the seniors rush out first when the band starts playing and they jump up and down? No, because I was in the band. Yeah, well.
00:19:32
Speaker
So you're in the band, you're already on the gym floor, you're playing some rally song, and then the seniors go on first and they start jumping up and down. And I was very excited about this. I was one of the first people to go up there to do the jump with some other people on the bleachers. And so the seniors are there, the juniors are there, the freshmen, the sophomores, all the teachers, the principal, everyone.
00:19:59
Speaker
Principal Graziano,
Wardrobe Malfunctions in School
00:20:01
Speaker
everyone is there. Hey. Hey, my man. I am jumping up and down and I am wearing this like little pink summer dress. I believe. Oh, I do remember this scantily clad underwear. I don't know what's going on. I'm just jumping. And then after the rally, people start coming up to me and being like,
00:20:25
Speaker
Oh man, like we saw more than we thought we were going to see. So like a lot of people were seeing my butt. And when I got to homeroom right after that, I was feeling pretty embarrassed. Probably like.
00:20:41
Speaker
more embarrassed than I've ever felt. And I was like, Oh my God, that was the whole school. Like I was jumping up and down my dress that was going up and down like in front of the whole school. And maybe not for a long time, because you know, more people pile in and then like, yeah, covered, but at least enough for multiple people to make comments.
00:20:57
Speaker
And then Mandy, I'm just gonna say her name, Mandy walks in, I think it was Mandy. I'm pretty sure it was Mandy, it was someone in my homeroom, but I'm gonna pretend it was Mandy. Mandy walks in and she slams down $3 worth of quarters on the table in front of me and she goes, thanks for the show.
00:21:15
Speaker
And I don't know why it made me, I mean, then it was funny. Then I was like no longer embarrassed. I don't know why the way she handled it was so funny. She literally paid me like in 12 quarters and was like, thanks for the show. And I was like, you're welcome.
00:21:37
Speaker
Dude, I wonder if your butt just doesn't have the feel of like, huh, my butt's hanging out. Because you also had that airport thing where your dress got stuck in your underwear. Thanks for bringing that up, yeah. Yeah, anytime. I think there's a boat as well.
00:21:53
Speaker
I think there was a boat one, too. I don't know the boat. The airport one scars me to this day. But yeah, I guess I just don't have a. I was going to say, I guess I just don't have a lot of feeling back there, but I don't. I'm sorry. Yeah, I don't know what's going on.
00:22:20
Speaker
I mean, I think if you already have a dress on, how much difference can there really be? You know what I mean? If you have pants on and you lean over. Between your ass showing and your ass not showing? Yes, because it's a small piece of fabric, like conscience. But listen, when you have your crack out because you have your pants and you're leaning for whatever, the difference between being covered by jeans and suddenly being covered by nothing is pretty significant.
00:22:46
Speaker
And with a dress, it's like a very small amount of cotton. Oh, I see what you're saying. You're saying like, because you're already feeling the breeze. Yes, exactly. Like I felt my dress moving. But yeah, you're already like the temperature difference isn't that great, I think. Exactly.
00:23:04
Speaker
Especially when you're in the heat of the moment, you've been waiting four years waiting to be the first people to get run out. You've watched freshman year, sophomore year, junior year, you've watched these seniors nail it running out onto that floor. And then you nail it even better.
00:23:21
Speaker
I just think about like how many poor teachers had to avert their eyes or like what, you know, no teacher ever said shit to me. Thank you. But like, yeah, that's that's where I get a lot of post hand embarrassment now being an adult. Like, I think I'm sure that as a teacher, that shit happens all the time. Yeah. I have no doubt that that's just like part of the job description. So that's my number two. A lot of a lot of
00:23:48
Speaker
but embarrassments for me in high school. Before we learn that shorts go under dresses. Shorts go under dresses. Tampons can stop the jeans stains. Go all the way in. Tampons can be useful. Not all the time.
00:24:07
Speaker
Um, I will use my stage one as well. It's technically eighth grade, so I don't know if it counts, but I'm counting it. Um, when we were in eighth grade, we did JB and I was always told not to lock my knees, but I super locked my knees during a performance in front of my parents and everybody that we knew. I think it was at central for some reason. I don't know why it wasn't at central. It was in.
00:24:35
Speaker
the cafeteria, either at Brody or Lincoln South. I can't remember which I wasn't there, but I remember Amanda calling me that night. I think it was like it's a classic. Yeah, I think it was Lincoln South. So it counts because you were technically in high school when this event happened. Hell yeah. Loophole, loopholes. Yeah. And I was in the front row because I was a very short person in high school and I
Crush Rejections: The Colonel Incident
00:25:01
Speaker
locked my knees and I just remember
00:25:03
Speaker
trying desperately to continue singing even though there was this super intense ringing in my ears and then it was like literally it cut to black like it was just like slowly creeping in from the sides and then I woke up in the back with my dad over top of me being like, are you okay? What's going on? Are you alive? And I was like, what the fuck is happening? I don't feel like I'm that embarrassed by that, but I did learn a pretty big lesson, but I do not need to lock my knees. And I lock them all the time.
00:25:32
Speaker
Yeah. And it was like our parents. So, I mean, I think if I had been, if there was a video of me fainting and then I watched what I can only assume is like the catastrophe of people trying to catch me and pull me off the stage in my dead weight, I'm sure I would be more embarrassed. And you interrupted the song. Yeah, rude.
00:25:53
Speaker
I was killing it too. Like did they wait for you to come back too? Or was the music teacher like dead weights off the stage? They were like, keep it going folks. They're like, I've got a dinner reservation at 8 PM. Let's get this finished. They don't pay me enough to stay here a second past eight. Um, yeah, I just remember Amanda calling me after that performance and was like, you'll never guess.
00:26:20
Speaker
who fainted on stage. And she was right. I did not guess. I like guessed everyone before Kara's name came up. She would know. I think she remembers because she would she was so good at describing things. She like explained like how you fainted, like who tried to catch you, like just all of these various things about the play by the way.
00:26:44
Speaker
Hmm? I think Savina caught me, if I remember correctly. I think some of the boys tried. No, we were in the Alto section, so it would have been a girl. But behind you? Yeah.
00:26:55
Speaker
Because I was the shortest girl, I would have been in front of another. It doesn't it doesn't matter. I think it was Savannah. Hmm. I don't know. We've got a lot of Savannah questions tonight. Yeah, we do have a lot of. Well, none of them will be because of me. So there's still time. My second most embarrassing high school memory that came to my head was the fact that I was
00:27:22
Speaker
I don't know if this is like embarrassing. It's more of like just manifesting. And then it came true. I was voted most likely to be late to graduation and I was legitimately late to our graduation. I remember like not paying for parking. He was like, yeah, I can let you in, but you got to get out. Like you're not supposed to park here. And I like, I just parked and I was like, okay, bye. What are you going to do? Yeah. What are you going to do? I didn't get a ticket. Yeah. Yeah.
00:27:50
Speaker
And then you guys, it was so mean. I was looking so cute and you threw me in the pool. Woe is me, grew up with a pool you guys. But it was woe is me because I looked so cute. Nobody did anything to stop me from going into the pool at my own little graduation party. I don't remember that. I don't remember it either, but I'm sure it happened. Yeah, that sucks. I'm really sorry. It takes a long time to get ready for stuff like that. I would have been furious. Yeah.
00:28:20
Speaker
Yeah. So it's like, I can laugh about it now. And I don't remember, remember being annoyed in the moment, but not like, Oh my God, I'm so pissed. But yeah. What, what were we thinking? It's usually when I look back on high school. Yeah.
00:28:37
Speaker
What were we thinking? Unfully developed brains. Honestly. And all the giggling. So much giggling. I miss the giggling. Just cute. Yeah. Lots of fun. Doing reckless stuff. Egging people. Play the paper. Oh yeah, toilet paper. So many car troubles. The amount of times I had to push someone's car and never pushed so many cars in my life. So many cars.
00:29:06
Speaker
Wanna prediddle. Yeah. All those scavenger hunts we would make up and then go do. I feel like that was some cringy shit out of Walmart when it used to be 24-7. I'm pretending that like taking melons from the Walmart produce section at you know midnight because it was like your scavenger hunt was like take a photo with the melons as boobs. I just remember doing that and like
00:29:33
Speaker
Oh my God. It's hard to entertain yourself in Des Moines, Iowa when you're 17. Yeah. My mom helped me make the scavenger list. Are the skywalks on your list of most embarrassing moments that you thought that was fun, Kara? Absolutely not. I'm so proud of those, and I had such a blast. We'll do it again. Stop. I'm waiting for Eliza and Bo to get old enough to hang out with them long enough into the night so that we all have to pee inside of a garage.
00:30:01
Speaker
I forgot about you. Instead of our sponsors this week, I'm just going to name Logan's top three most embarrassing moments.
00:30:17
Speaker
I'm so excited. Love. Everything that you're about to hear, dear listeners, is factual and nothing was embellished or made up. That's true. And it's true. First one is when he lit some fireworks in... Whose car was that? Was that your car? Sabina's. Sabina's car.
00:30:40
Speaker
Yeah, people were in the car. I wasn't. And he lit fireworks on fire in the interior of the car. I believe someone still has a
Valentine’s Day Rejection Stories
00:30:50
Speaker
scar on their butt from that. Who? Sabina. Sabina. Well, her dad, I was like, her dad was so pissed because her car was like, had a burn mark on the inside. Obviously. Yikes.
00:31:08
Speaker
Second is when Logan pretended he saw a deer when we were caravanning, but really I was driving slow to piss him off. And then he went into the other lane of traffic on a hill where he couldn't see oncoming traffic. And then he had to go between my car and Amanda's car and hit both of us.
00:31:26
Speaker
And then, yeah, he saw a deer even though the side where the deer would have been had a huge fence where like no deer could have come from. And number one most embarrassing moment for Logan has to be going camping with the group and not knowing how to hold his own liquor. Never learned how to do that. And an embarrassment to this day still. And he drank too much, woke up in the middle of the night and barfed in Sabina's boot.
00:31:55
Speaker
Because he couldn't get the door unzipped fast enough. No, not because he couldn't do that, but because he's a little bitch. I did say this was going to be factual, my bad.
00:32:12
Speaker
Ah, those are top tier Logan moments. Yeah, those are just, you know, off the dome. I'm sure there are more, but yeah. So Logan, thanks for sponsoring top three most embarrassing high school moments. You take the cake, bud. Just me over here dragging our friend.
00:32:36
Speaker
in the public realm and he'll never know. Shots fired. Well, unless I'm sure Anna will listen to it and then stitch him like being called out. This is this is what he gets for not listening to us. I agree. And we're coming for all of you. We're coming for all of you. Be scared. We will dig up your skeletons on this podcast. I mean, Kara will so that way she doesn't have to tell her own.
00:33:01
Speaker
Anyway, I'm going second now in case you didn't track. Oh, just because I went. She's piggybacking because they were similar. Oh, I got you. I got you. Okay. My number one worst high school embarrassment
00:33:22
Speaker
that I think kind of is like more secondhand embarrassment is I was a sophomore and there was a very cute, in my opinion, senior named, I guess I can't say his name. You could change it. I feel like we should just use like Sam or something. We should like just use a completely different name. Yeah, do like. Cause he does not know us. You know, like this is not like a Logan situation.
00:33:52
Speaker
Mo. We should say Mo. Mo. Okay, how about Duke? Last name, Duke.
00:33:58
Speaker
Yeah, Duke works. Yes. When I was a sophomore, there was this very handsome senior. Name has been changed for privacy reasons. We're going to be calling him Mo Duke and Mo Duke had a very brilliant smile. And one day I was walking through the hallway and he caught my eye with a smile. And every once in a while we would see each other after fourth period when I came back from Central and
00:34:27
Speaker
we would just smile at each other for a second. We never talked, but it was just kind of, you know, now looking back on it with the post hand embarrassment, this is just someone who's Midwest friendly who like has taken it too far. And now he's smiling at like random people in the hallway, like crazy girls with crazy eyes like me and boy energy where you're nice to them. And then they,
00:34:52
Speaker
Yeah, classic Mo Duke. And so then like I was I created this fiction in my head. There's no other way to describe it. I created a new reality in my head where there was this possibility that he was looking forward to these sideways glances after fourth period as much as I was. And I would come up with any excuse to be closer to him and to the point where
00:35:20
Speaker
Like, on Valentine's Day, I filled a pla-
00:35:25
Speaker
I feel like it's so embarrassing. I don't think I know this. I don't either. I filled a plastic grocery bag with, like, candies. I did this the night before, thinking, like, this is such a silly plan. I was like, I'm going to spend all day handing out this candy to people. So that way, in between fourth and fifth period, I can finally talk to Mo Duke and hand him a piece of candy. And like, so for the whole day
Winter Formal Expectations vs. Reality
00:35:50
Speaker
I was handing out candy, even though, like, I was at Central. I was at a different high school in the morning. I didn't have to do that.
00:35:55
Speaker
I didn't have to, I could have just pretended for five minutes that I was doing this. I didn't have to go the whole day. Like I planned this, you guys, it was like days of me thinking about the interaction and what it was going to be like. Yeah. I held down the candy bag. You want some candy? He's like, no, thanks. And then keeps walking. Crushed. Yeah. And then, but no, you couldn't crush the soul. The delusion was so strong. I was like, oh. Can confirm.
00:36:23
Speaker
He needs me for candy. He likes me for who I am. So then like a couple weeks later, it's the winter formal. Oh my god, the winter formal dance was coming up.
00:36:42
Speaker
This guy does not know my name. We have said hi to each other maybe three times in passing. I offered him a piece of candy that he couldn't take.
00:36:56
Speaker
Grayson looks mortified. I've been working out the courage, I've been talking to Amanda, I've been talking to Cara about like, what should I do? So in between 4th and 5th period, I corner this guy at his locker. I'm 15! This guy is probably 18, almost 18, like he's almost out of here. I saved him!
00:37:25
Speaker
Hi, I'm Marian. Would you like to go to winter formal with me? He was so nice about it. He was like, you know, I wish I could, but I already promised my friends that we'd all go together, but I'll save a dance for you. And it was like the nicest thing he could have done. Really?
00:37:50
Speaker
It's Jason. Are you going to faint from the heat? The build up was so exquisite. And he ended up being nice.
00:38:00
Speaker
He is one of the nicest people. He is such a sweet person, yeah. So Mo Duke said this to me. I'm on cloud nine, even though he said no. He wanted to say yes, but he's a good friend. He's a good friend to these other people. And that made you love him even more. I know. And I was like, oh, I'm going to get to dance with Mo Duke. So we all get ready for the Winter Forum. I told all my friends. Everybody knows. Everybody knows.
00:38:29
Speaker
whole school new for mode to get this formal because we are gonna have a dance now there are some clues some breadcrumbs that maybe we could have caught up or like calm to have this when time only had female friends
00:38:48
Speaker
He didn't ask me when he did this. He was a very tender, nice, empathetic person. Very well groomed. Smelled great.
00:39:07
Speaker
I was too blind with love. So we go to the formal the whole time. I cannot enjoy this dance. All I'm thinking about is where's Mo Duke? Does he remember about the dance? Are we going to have a dance? And a slow song finally comes on. He's danced. There's been a couple of songs he's danced with his friends.
00:39:26
Speaker
I'm like, oh my God, it's not going to happen. Then a slow dance song comes on. He finds me and we dance very fast. I remember just like kind of spitting in circles because we're both children and we don't know how to dance. So and he's so sweet during it. We have our first ever conversation.
00:39:46
Speaker
Um, and it's very pleasant. And then at the end we part ways and it was very sweet. Uh, I think I accepted then that Mo Duke was not interested in me. And again, because I didn't understand the feeling of embarrassment back then, I don't know what happened. I like wasn't born with the embarrassment gene at this point that had not developed yet for me. So like, I was like, wow, that was great. And like, did not have any
00:40:11
Speaker
type of shame or anything for this like delusion that I'd put myself through. So yeah and then a couple years later when I was coming back home from college he was like working a summer job or something like at Hy-Vee and I just remember us making
00:40:28
Speaker
I contact in the dairy section and me being like, Hey, and he's like, Hey, he gave me that same smile that he always gives everyone. It turns out gave the old man who was asking about cottage cheese. It turns out that Mo Dick.
00:40:44
Speaker
It turns out that mode dupe was impervious to my charms, not because I was weird or super familiar and creepy. It was because he wasn't interested. He biologically wasn't interested in Whitman. And that's why he wasn't interested in me guys. So that was kind of validating, you know, once we started.
00:41:11
Speaker
Um, seeing pictures of him on Facebook with his boyfriends in college. I was like, okay, well, so it wasn't really about me, you know, like if I'm sure if he could have, he would have, but
00:41:24
Speaker
Yeah, that's the saying. That's how it goes. Yeah. He could have. He would have come out, but we grew up in still a little toxic. Yeah. Can't come out in high school. Yeah, he could have used me as his beard. I would have been fine with that. But yeah, whilst you guys had other nice.
00:41:48
Speaker
things. Well I wouldn't have known. Anyway so that's my number one most embarrassing moment of high school. Wow that was good. Mine kind of plays in to the winter formal theme but if you want to go next you can't care it. Mine's about a boy too so it depends on whether. Mine's not about a boy. Okay go ahead. I guess it doesn't matter.
00:42:11
Speaker
You go then. Go at the same time. Okay. So I was president of heat club. And I was a girl and there was a boy. Sometimes do your boobs just get itchy? Yes. Yeah. Okay. Thanks. Yes. Sometimes does your coochie just get itchy? Yes.
00:42:34
Speaker
Mine went numb the other day. What? I was sitting, I was sitting in a certain, it was these chairs, these dining room table chairs. And I went to the bathroom and I was like, I think my vagina's numb. How do you even feel that? I'm like trying to, I guess, you know, I don't have a lot of feeling down there. I'll just have to try some things out later. We're going to cut that all out, by the way. We're just going to come back in with Mara saying, I'm going to try some things later.
00:43:05
Speaker
Yeah, that's funny. Okay. So my number one has to do with a guy who I'm going to call the Colonel. And I think that I've known him, I think I knew him since like sixth grade, if not before. I don't remember where he went to elementary school, but he was definitely at middle school.
00:43:22
Speaker
Uh, I think Mara and I were both in love with him as was like half the class. And so there was like a subtle tinge of like who, who gets to talk to him in passing and all of the like embarrassing shit that goes on with liking the Colonel. Kara loved to like find out what crush you had and then like just hop onto that crush. I knew you were going to bring up Alex.
00:43:45
Speaker
You mean Alex Flounder? Yeah. I was going to say that we all have good taste because we were all attracted to the only like three nice boys in the whole school. So no wonder that we had overlapping likes. Spoken like a true home wrecker. Home moon wrecker. Am I right? Yeah, you are. Point one. Thank you.
00:44:14
Speaker
Um, so I liked the Colonel like half of our class did because he was one of the funniest, nicest people in the world. I do not remember him. He was so vanilla. He was like the most, he was hilarious. What are you talking about? He was so funny. Vanilla and funny though. Like in Spanish class, he would, we would all do these, we had to do like a Spanish video or whatever. And he, all of us would be like, yo soy, Cara, me amo.
00:44:42
Speaker
Tula, whatever. I speak Spanish, and I can't even fucking make it up. So we would make these really boring videos. And the colonel would go out there, and he would have costume changes. There would be music that he wrote. He would play the instruments. He made us die laughing every single group project. He was one of the funniest people. His wallet in high school was also a Bible inside of a Bible holder. Oh, yes. That's an important clue.
00:45:11
Speaker
The Colonel is also extremely religious. Very religious. The pious Colonel, if you will. Yes. I, in case you didn't know by listening to the last 40 episodes, am not religious or Christian. And so there was an automatic mismatch and yet I still loved him. And I asked him when we were, I was 16 and he was 15. I asked him to go on a date. I worked at the courage. I don't remember how, I think I blacked out.
00:45:41
Speaker
I picked him up from, I think, a basketball game that his younger brother was playing in. And so I met his parents and his sister. I'm pretty sure I went back to their house before I took him on the date. Not the vibes. Should we call his younger brother the cadet? What's underneath the kernel? The lieutenant? Major. I had to go to a baseball basketball game that his little brother, the lieutenant, was playing in.
00:46:09
Speaker
Anyway. Yeah. So I met Lieutenant and the major and what's above these things. Private. Private. I don't know. The president and then the- What's the one that starts with A, but like- Admiral. Admiral. Yeah. I am in the military. I am in all the military. The religious military.
00:46:33
Speaker
Cardinals. Yeah, you met the Cardinals. I met the Cardinals. They were all very nice because they're just like a nice little family. And we went on our little date and I took him to, first of all, I was 16 and he was 15, so I had to drive. And I don't know why, but at 16, that's embarrassing for some reason. But I was like, this whole event was embarrassing from start to fucking finish. And we were at the movie. It was some really stupid movie. Like, Medea, is that a movie?
00:47:02
Speaker
Yeah. It was like Medea 3 or something. Yeah. And I loved the Medea movie. I don't know if that's okay to say, but we loved them growing up. I don't think it was Medea, but it was like a slapstick comedy, like the third iteration of this movie. I obviously didn't, I did not enjoy it, but I was like, okay, the Colonel and I are here. This is the night it's going to happen. You know, like you dream, like, like Moe.
00:47:31
Speaker
Duke, you dream about it for years. You fantasize about it. You think about it all the time. You talk to your friends. I think back to it was hours of scenarios, of conversations I was having in my head where I would imagine the next day and what I was going to say, what he was going to say. I can't imagine putting all that brain power that I was putting into that now today.
00:47:54
Speaker
Maybe you would have beat out... I almost put that as my number one embarrassment was frickin' Dyson McDyson. Yeah, Dyson vacuum, but uh...
00:48:09
Speaker
the Dyson. Yeah. Anyway, sorry. So we're at the movie. I hate the movie, but I'm there with the Colonel. I'm thinking someday we're going to think back to this. You know, someday it's going to be
00:48:24
Speaker
like to remember when we went to the movie and it's going to be like playing at our wedding, you know, in the background because it's our first date. You know, I'm going through all of these scenarios and I reach over and I, and I try to grab his hand and he pulls away and he laughed. He laughed? He laughed. Oh no. It was like a, it was like an a-honey. Oh, I told everyone. It was like an a-honey laugh. It was like, Oh, that's not what's happening here.
00:48:49
Speaker
But it's the Cardinals, so he was super nice about it. But I was mortified. And I don't think I talked to him for a month or two. It was horrible. Did you want to sit the rest of the movie? Just leave. Leave his ass there. Yeah, it was. Yeah, I also had the car. I should have. Yep. Leave his ass there. Oh, man. That is... Wow. Yeah.
00:49:13
Speaker
I always hated doing movies as dates, especially first dates or like plays or anything with people just because of like.
00:49:21
Speaker
that whole, you can't talk. And so then there's this weird expectation of touching arm around someone or shoulder or hand. I don't focus on the movie. Every movie I ever saw for a first date or play, I saw a little shop of horrors. Once on a first date, it ruined, ruined for me. I can't imagine liking that. Easy A, what a tragedy to have lost that to a first date.
00:49:48
Speaker
That is a tragedy. Yeah, I don't understand why people think it's fun or funny. That movie is hilarious. Yeah. Wow. I lost the Watchmen. So that was, you know, the abyss can have that one. Yeah, I was going to say, I can't remember that so far. And then the other one, I don't even remember the name of the movie. I just remember he like, he played the piano and he, he like,
00:50:15
Speaker
Kept moving his fingers. When we were holding hands, he was like, tap it the whole time. No idea what movie I was in. I don't like that. No.
00:50:25
Speaker
Yeah, I made you forget the movie. There's nowhere to go because you're stuck next to a seat looking at something. You can't like pull your hand away on the other side of the table. There's nowhere to go in a movie. Oh my God. So what happened? So you guys just never hung out again? No, obviously. I was very aware after that that he was super not interested and he was just being nice by taking me on a date. Did the Colonel ever date anybody in high school? No.
00:50:49
Speaker
He seemed very celibate. No, but they are now married for like 10 years and just moved to her home country, by the way. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. She's also wicked religious. Yeah. As they will be. He like met her on a little pilgrimage. Yeah. What do they call it when they- Crusade, if you will. Thank you.
00:51:12
Speaker
What do they call it when you go? Mission. I hope everyone felt and sensed those air quotes, the help people. Mara, I think I know you're number one. Okay. Your number one is not inviting me to your birthday party. You're really embarrassed about that one time.
00:51:38
Speaker
I forgot I did that. So, also, yeah, my bad. No, no, no, no, no, don't do that. My number one most embarrassing high school memory I've decided to share with you all is...
00:52:00
Speaker
I was president of Key Club, which is like baby Kiwanis Club, which is just like a, I don't know, they get back to the community, whatever. We were in charge of Winter Formal and we got to name it and put it on and decorate it and whatever. And I named it A Night in Paris and I didn't realize that was Paris Hilton's porno name.
00:52:34
Speaker
That is awful for both the teacher and the student in that situation. Correct.
00:52:39
Speaker
I have questions about which teacher, yeah. Oh, it was that weird guy, right? So, like, it was that woman who, like, took over our senior year, but somebody, like, emailed her. None of this is good storytelling.
00:52:54
Speaker
My advisor got an email from a different teacher. I don't know what teacher probably who knows the porno that she's a creep. Yeah. He's a volleyball teacher who taught chemistry. Oh yeah. Yeah. Fuck that guy. He was. Oh, or that guy. Uh, can I be, can I sell a secondhand embarrassing story of him because he's the worst. No, no, we should save that. It should be like three times.
00:53:19
Speaker
are top three like weirdest teachers or like yes teachers that gave us the ick i don't know because they're just to give us the ick yes yeah because the chemistry teacher have a story about yeah plenty of men giving the ick at that school yeah special shout out to
00:53:36
Speaker
The time I had bangs for the majority of high school and this one time, they were like micro bangs. They were so short. They were like little baby hairs. It was like little mod. I swear to God, it was like a half inch. I like couldn't put it back with bobby pins. It was terrible.
00:53:56
Speaker
Um, my honorable mentions include just all of the Merry Wives of Windsor. I don't know if you guys remember me crying just like a ton during that, like, because it was such a, I could tell it was such a boring show. Like I could tell that it was just this thing that we had put so much work to work into that.
00:54:17
Speaker
nobody was enjoying watching and it was just like it also was the first production after Mrs. B left and it was just like oh I just remember being very embarrassed by the fact that we finally got a Shakespeare and it was like this very boring
00:54:39
Speaker
either we weren't doing it right, it wasn't being interpreted right. I mean, like the drama teacher was doing her best and she came up with like a kind of a very interesting visual for it, but also kind of not because she decided to make everything black and white like a TV show. So there was nothing like colorful in it. It was all black and white. And I don't know that that helped considering it was already hard to understand because it was Shakespeare and it was an unfamiliar story. But I just remember being like so cripplingly like
00:55:08
Speaker
embarrassed about that whole production. Yeah. And then also my last honorable mention having to kiss on stage for the diary of Anne Frank is very embarrassing. I remember one time they invited like the sixth graders to come watch on a special like during the day performance. And I just remember their reaction to when I kissed him and also
00:55:35
Speaker
Mrs. V in rehearsals would say, oh, you need to kiss him for longer. Like she would try and coach me. I'm like doing the kiss better. And all of that was mortifying as a 15 year old girl kissing a senior. Wow. And just being like, I don't. I don't want to be told that I have to act more into it.
00:55:58
Speaker
Also because, also because Hottie, Hottie McHaughtson was very hot. And so like everyone loved him. He had these flowing golden locks of hair and he was just like, it looked like a Norse God. And it was very embarrassing because I was quite, you know, I thought he was cute. I think everyone did. Yeah. The last thing I wanted to be doing was kissing him.
00:56:23
Speaker
at that point. In public. Yeah, I had to dance with him for a play and I was like, what do I do with my hands? Yeah, having to act like you like somebody when you actually like somebody is not fun. I don't know how Brad and Angelina did it.
00:56:41
Speaker
Good one. Any honorable mention, Sarah? Actual honorable mention would be when a math teacher told me that I was too stupid to continue with the program and tried to kick me out. But yeah, you talked before on this podcast. You showed him. You showed him. I did show him. But that was, I mean, like when you are at Central, I feel like there's this extra pressure to like your whole world revolves around like
00:57:07
Speaker
your grades and your intellect and like all these things. And it was so embarrassing to be told that you weren't good enough. And to then have to tell other people and then have to like stay after school every day to like do extra lessons and stuff. Also what pissed me off was that oftentimes my grade was lower because I didn't double underline the answer. Like I got the right answer, but I didn't double underline. So he would take like a half point off or whatever. Fuck him. So stupid. Wow.
00:57:38
Speaker
Well, well, high school is great. Love that. I don't recommend. Would not repeat. I think we're all winners for being vulnerable and opening up today. Congratulations, Kara, because you ditched your Reddit stories. Yeah, we can just cut that whole Reddit part out of this. No, no, no, no. It's so good. The content, the story is so good.
00:58:08
Speaker
I did. Can I read the other one though? Because I actually think it's kind of funny. I still cringe at this moment all the time. In my video production class during freshman year, we all had groups and we had a group project every week and then had to show it to class. There was this one group with the insanely hot chicks. Typically they made very basic videos that people would just put on
00:58:28
Speaker
put a decent grade on while critiquing. One week they had this video showing insane cleavage. The teacher asked what we liked about the video and I personally wanted to say nice audio. I raised my hand and she called on me and instead of saying audio, I said nice cleavage. I died inside of embarrassment, but the cool kids in the back yelled, fuck you, freshman. And it made me feel kind of better, but I was known as a pervert for the rest of the year. Oh my God. Wow. That would be...
00:58:57
Speaker
I'm assuming that's on the level of you can't control boners when you're a young boy. I'm assuming that would be on every boy's list if they were doing this. Titties. Just be like, booms. Oh, shit, sorry. To the teacher too. What does the teacher do? Be like, ah, that's inappropriate. What do you like about this? The boobies. Boobies.
00:59:20
Speaker
My favorite is freshman year. We watched Romeo and Juliet in English class and the teacher was like, okay, there's some nudity in here. And all the guys got very excited and it's like five minutes of Romeo's ass and then like 10 seconds of poops.
00:59:38
Speaker
That was beautiful. I like that. Yeah, that's a good ratio. I like have the memory of like one guy just like keeping his eyes shut the whole time because like I think I would have I'd be like, oh my God, this is my worst nightmare. Yeah.
00:59:54
Speaker
What if you were, imagine being a boy and the nudity is on the screen in your classroom with your teacher and 22 of your peers and you can't help it, you get titillated and now you have this boner. Exactly. I would keep my eyes shut too. Male butt. I feel like all butts look 15 year olds. Beautiful. If you like butts, you like butts. I think 10 seconds.
01:00:20
Speaker
Yeah. I also think that 10 seconds of titties is enough to do it personally, as if you're 15. If you're like, if you're like 15, yeah, dude. That's why John Levi invented the waistband when he was creating jeans.
01:00:37
Speaker
I feel like at that age, like a drawing of titties, you know, like a W with some points. Damn, dude, it's really doing it for me. Oops, aroused. Okay, well, I got a Galentine's day to go to. Cool. Well, if you stop this, I'll tell you about the one I don't want.
01:01:01
Speaker
I should have waited until we stopped recording. What was I thinking? Okay. Email us at mytopeverythingpodcast.gmail.com. Find us on Instagram, our Reddit. Just interact with us. We would love that. We are dying for some interaction over here.
01:01:18
Speaker
And to all of you who have already, thank you. We will see you next time, right? Yeah, boy. Yeah, what's your name? Well, I'm Marion, your winner. I'm Cara. And I'm Mara, your also winner. Yeah, Cara, you forgot to, we'll do it again. We all won. I got a negative point literally right off the bat. No, but that is scrubbed because you shared three embarrassing stories. Aww, okay, do it again. I want to say I'm winning. I'm Marion, I'm your winner.
01:01:47
Speaker
I'm Kara, and I'll say your winner. I'm Mara, I'll say your winner. Woo, we're all winners. We all get a trophy. There's nothing embarrassing about that. See you next time. Bye. Bye. OK, now stop recording so I can tell you about the real stream.