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What Happens When You Question Your Limits With Matthew Monaghan
38 Plays1 month ago
Matthew Monaghan was told he would never walk, but his life went in a very different direction. Today he is a pilot and the author of The Weight of Progress, a book about living with a rare condition, rebuilding independence, and learning who you become through life.
In this conversation, we talk about feeling stuck, the moments that change you, and how your sense of self can grow over time. We also talk about fear, connection, and how the right people can help you move forward when things feel uncertain.
If you’ve ever felt like you are in a space between where you were and where you are going, this one is for you.
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Transcript
Introduction of Matthew Monaghan
00:00:00
Speaker
Hello and welcome back to Connected with Iva. So my guest today is Matthew Monaghan, a writer, pilot and someone whose life challenges almost every assumption we have about progress.
00:00:12
Speaker
He was born with a rare neuromuscular condition and told he would never walk. Years later, after a serious setback that required him to rebuild his independence, He went on to become the first person with disabilities to land a plane solo at Belfast International Airport.
00:00:31
Speaker
His memoir, The Weight of Progress, explores what it means to live with a rare condition and how a sense of self is shaped, challenged, and rebuilt over a lifetime. Lovely to meet you.
00:00:43
Speaker
a Thank you so much for speaking to me. I love Jackie. She's like she's amazing. And you know when she messaged me, I was like, oh, yes, I'd love i'd love to to speak to Matthew.
00:00:55
Speaker
i like the concept of identity, right? What is identity even? And like how do
Exploration of Identity and Community
00:01:02
Speaker
you form identity? And what is identity for you as a person? I feel like a lot of the times you base your identity of your life and what you've been given and like how you discovered yourself.
00:01:13
Speaker
You've completely shifted all that and rediscovered yourself and rediscovered your identity and your possibilities and in ah capabilities. and Tell me more about that.
00:01:25
Speaker
We all have inherent traits about ourselves, you know, communities that we feel like we belong to. And I suppose my community is the disabled community.
00:01:36
Speaker
That can be quite niche depending on which condition you have. So you can feel like You maybe only belong to muscle weakness condition community or the multiple sclerosis community or the paraplegic community.
00:01:52
Speaker
and Whereas for me, it's it's I learned the most about myself by engaging with people. members of all parts of the disabled community from every walk of life.
00:02:04
Speaker
And along that journey, I also met a lot of able-bodied people, which kind of made me realize that identity is so fluid that you can end up putting a spotlight on yourself and actually, actually restricting or limiting your, how you engage with the
Defying Expectations through Flying
00:02:22
Speaker
world.
00:02:22
Speaker
So I learned my condition, my disability is a part of my myself, a part of me, but I don't let it define me, if that makes sense. It's just one aspect that makes up a bigger hole.
00:02:36
Speaker
And I had to go through that process of meeting people from different parts of that community and from outside of it to realize that it adds depth, but it doesn't define and it certainly shouldn't restrict how you engage with the world.
00:02:52
Speaker
And what was the process of learning to fly? What did that show you or teach you? Because get to bring it back to that element of disability that I had grown up my entire life. I'm 36, not that old, but I'd grown up my entire life being told what I couldn't do and what I would not be able to do.
00:03:14
Speaker
and how life would, the many ways in which my life would be restricted.
Understanding and Managing Fear
00:03:19
Speaker
So for me, learning to fly was so far removed from that and so so much at the other end of the spectrum.
00:03:28
Speaker
and It was defying the odds. It was proving that I am more than my disability. And not only that, that there are no limits. You know, that the limits we place on ourselves are self-imposed.
00:03:41
Speaker
And as well, I think, A lot of us wrap fear in logic. If you've been told along, you know, during your life to be careful and mindful of not taking risks, that can sometimes morph into logic.
00:03:55
Speaker
The fear can morph into logic and you can reason with that and say, I'll not attempt that thing because that's logically not good for me, when really it's actually fear in disguise.
00:04:07
Speaker
For me, it was also a massive leap of faith. It was scary and had to overcome the fear to overcome something bigger than that, which was really to prove that the underdog is capable of more.
Community and Shared Experiences
00:04:21
Speaker
And how do you see your life now after you've shown yourself these possibilities? What is your relationship with the risk and fear now? Fear is there I think it's always going to be there.
00:04:36
Speaker
Learning to fly has taught me a lot about risk and how to manage risk as an inherent part of of of aviation. That's the logical, sensible side which I've learned a lot about and it's made me more safety conscious.
00:04:50
Speaker
I've definitely been on a journey with fear, a journey still ongoing to this day. So you attend something like learning to fly, especially that big milestone where I was lucky to achieve when I got to fly solo.
00:05:05
Speaker
Other than going to space, I don't see anything as far removed from Mother Earth as that. To overcome that fear and trust yourself and your training and your capabilities, even given my upbringing, which was quite, the predictions were quite bleak and there wasn't much encouragement in terms of things like that.
00:05:26
Speaker
That's a massive fear hurdle to overcome. It taught me a lot about fear as a whole in myself and how what other fears are holding me back.
00:05:37
Speaker
i've said I say it a lot when i talk when I talk about my experience andm by my majority and journey and that I've achieved so much in my life, so many that incredible things. The successes and achievements that I have made, if that they're never in isolation.
00:05:52
Speaker
Normally there's a guardian angel or some figure there that has has walked on the path with you. So in flying it was the charity that Jackie also learned to fly with and is involved with, flying scholarships for disabled people and he knew the instructors that are part of that charity.
00:06:12
Speaker
So they they kind of put me on that path of belief in myself and overcoming those initial fears. And as a whole, as I mentioned of fear in itself, I have fear of my body and what it's capable of and the biology around it and having a muscle condition.
00:06:30
Speaker
a condition that makes me weak. So that's a new journey that I'm on and that's trusting my body more. And I've had a great friend and personal trainer that's been showing me how to overcome that fear. So been I've been learning how to try a walk without any assistance without a walking aid.
00:06:45
Speaker
That's been a bit of a journey I've been on for the past year, which has been very special. So ah again, that's another fear, which is kind of mixed in with logic. You know, I've been trained and taught to be careful with my body and make sure that I don't push myself too hard.
00:07:00
Speaker
But the journey I'm on at the minute is to actually try and do the opposite of that to gain back some function and some physical ability. it's a good question you've asked there. It's an interesting one because I think we all have a story to tell when we're asked about fear.
00:07:15
Speaker
I think everyone has their own fear journey. Fear is a healthy mechanism, right? Because fear is there to protect you from danger. It's a healthy thing to have fear. Fear shouldn't go away.
00:07:28
Speaker
It's not about removing fear. It's about, like you were saying, How to change our relationship with fear based off the circumstances or the conditions in our lives.
00:07:42
Speaker
How do we interact with fear in a healthier way where we can live and do like you were doing so beautifully. Something that you touched on, the importance of community because from what you were saying, it's like how community basically changes lives and you know people who motivate you and are there for you in that kind of authentic, real way.
00:08:08
Speaker
What is community for you? I think it's sharing a connection with a person or a group of people who have either walked a similar path or have faced similar struggles through whatever medium, have rose above those and overcame them.
00:08:28
Speaker
Yeah, that that commonality, i think that commonality is the important part is Something that it doesn't even need to be identical, just in look a similar experience or path that you've walked with someone or someone has walked either before or after you.
00:08:42
Speaker
Together, if you both understand where you're coming from whenever there's a discussion about life because our experiences shape our lives, right? What you've been through, how you view the world is shaped by your experiences in the past.
00:08:57
Speaker
So for me, dot that's a community and also the people that take the time to recognize that you have hurdles or challenges and they want to see you succeed or over overcome those.
00:09:08
Speaker
and You mentioned fear. I have a great PT, as I mentioned, and when we talk, fear has been a big discussion about about what we do to physically with training and things.
00:09:20
Speaker
And he gave me a great quote and it really, really helped me with fear. And it became a bit of a community thing with those those people in your life that inspire you to to be your best or encourage you to be your best.
00:09:33
Speaker
And it's to look at fear, the word fear is an acronym. So instead of what most people see fear as or how most people react to their fear, it's to face everything and run.
00:09:45
Speaker
F-E-A-R. Whereas if we look at it, flip that on its head and face everything and rise. Sorry, first one's forget everything and run, second one's face everything and rise. And I just like that because that's a quick way to snap and realise what is the fear stopping me from doing. And that's again where it comes from.
00:10:03
Speaker
That's kind of intertwined with the community aspect because That can be the common theme. Two people, three people, four people, a group of people that all know what it's like to scared about the future living with disability. I've
Impact of Digitalization on Social Skills
00:10:20
Speaker
met people that all have a common bond because they're scared of flying.
00:10:25
Speaker
That can be a big one. It doesn't have to be a physical trait. It can be. But I think communities... Above all else, it's sharing, connecting with people that have a shared experience or have been through or faced similar challenges in life.
00:10:43
Speaker
I like that. And also just personally, where I find community and what it means to me, Sometimes you find you have things in common with people you might not have necessarily thought you have something in common with before.
00:10:59
Speaker
So like you know even the choir I go to, which is the smallest thing on the surface, I didn't really think I would have anything in common with the people who go there. and then Now it's the most important thing in my life almost, going there and being with these people.
00:11:16
Speaker
We're meant to be within communities with people who care, like genuinely care. And it's not the most common thing these days, right? So when you have that, it's so special and so strong.
00:11:30
Speaker
And that's The era that we live in especially, I've i've noticed the shift for those of us old enough or mature enough to have lived through the period that we've lived through.
00:11:41
Speaker
Especially in the digital era, you know, we've became less skilled at socialising, bonding and communicating, connecting as humans.
00:11:53
Speaker
And I think part of that can sound the shift in technology and remote working and things like that. Through what me and Jackie, how me and Jackie connected through FSTP, that's a community, but there are communities within that community.
00:12:07
Speaker
And that's, I think, what you touched on with your choir group. I imagine there's people in the choir group that... have their own social bubble and it's not about the choir, it's about something else.
00:12:18
Speaker
So that's also what I love. It's those unexpected communities that you form for the FSDP. I suppose when I first got involved, I expected everyone, every single person I encountered in that charity to be a complete aviation fanatic.
00:12:35
Speaker
And that wasn't the case. Some people liked it, but didn't really have a massive love. They just wanted to to try something and push their boundaries. But those people, you bond with them in another way.
00:12:48
Speaker
For example, there was a lady, shes she loves horse riding. Sailing and my friend Dawn, she loves sailing and water water are sports and flying and arts, a horse riding, sorry.
00:13:00
Speaker
So we bonded over that because that was a common interest. You can have a love for something and a shared passion. And then on that journey, develop these micro communities within through different experiences.
00:13:13
Speaker
And it is important. that I think it's really important to have a community because it's like a sense of
Life Perspective and Time Value
00:13:19
Speaker
belonging. It's evolutionary because as mammals, we travel in packs even before we could speak.
00:13:25
Speaker
Sometimes it doesn't even need to be about the words that are said. It's just that social space. As mammals and humans, we I think we need to be, we're pack animals. We like to have, we like people around us and we like to connect.
00:13:39
Speaker
It's so true. And also, I feel like our belief system changes when we're around others. At least mine, it's it's so very interesting.
00:13:50
Speaker
Your priorities might change or the way you see life, you know like you mentioned yourself. And on that, how has your sense of self changed?
00:14:01
Speaker
What do you base your sense of self now on? How has that shifted with your experience? I recently wrote a book, published my first book, and it's ah it's an autobiography. It's my memoir. It charts my, basically charting my life from birth right up until the present day.
00:14:20
Speaker
And I always say the book, I could not have wrote the book until this period of my life because certain things just had to they lived and had to happen before the book could happen.
00:14:35
Speaker
I said in the book and I said, i feel like I've lived two lives. I've been two different people and I might become a third. And I think that happens to everybody, but we just don't maybe identify it.
00:14:48
Speaker
The person I am today is definitely not the person I was 15 years ago. And you morph and you change and it's experiences and ah suppose aging that does that.
00:14:59
Speaker
Who I am now is, when I say different, it's, I suppose, what matters to me now and what's important to me in life now is much different and has much more depth than what it would have when I was younger. And it is experiences that have taught me that.
00:15:16
Speaker
Maybe we're all a bit like that in a way, but prior I would have been quite different. I suppose a little bit materialistic and short-sighted, you know, not really thinking months ahead, just thinking weeks ahead, which is okay.
00:15:30
Speaker
But I think that was a lot of the time. It wasn't really forward thinking ah ah about the big, big, big picture. Whereas now my mentality definitely is that Really, to me, not money really doesn't matter to me at all because I just learn through experiences that experience and life itself is much, much, much, much more important.
00:15:53
Speaker
And I talk about time lot and something that everyone talks about quite a lot, but I don't think we really feel what we're saying. People say, oh you've only got one life.
00:16:05
Speaker
Yeah. You know, and we all say, and it's ah it's a turn of phrase, you've only got one life part of my experience because I went through a period of very poor health, very, very poor, extremely poor health.
00:16:16
Speaker
That was an 18 month period. And life for me stalled, like just went to complete standstill. I had nothing and no social life, work life, it just came to complete standstill.
00:16:28
Speaker
And when I came out of that, and that was through aviation and through learning to fly, and I got so i got this incredible life back, that was what really made me look at time.
00:16:38
Speaker
We all have commodities, there's commodities in life, money is a commodity.
Messages from Matthew's Memoir
00:16:42
Speaker
Food's a commodity, you know, cars, you know, gadgets, clothes. There's loads of commodities in life, but one of the only commodities that is finite, that we can't make more of, is time.
00:16:55
Speaker
It's the only commodity that has a finite, it's a finite resource. There's only so much of it. No one's coming to top up the tank. That's why when it comes to things like risk and fear and communities and connection, that's the person I am today.
00:17:11
Speaker
It's to try and, as you say, not eliminate fear, but work with it as much as I possibly can and do all the things that I wouldn't have done prior. And then when the connections happen or the experience is offered, grab it, go for it. like If it feels right and it's not harmful and it's healthy, go for it.
00:17:30
Speaker
And that's opened a lot of doors for me, like things like writing a book, you know, burying your entire soul and your entire life and putting that out in the public domain. I can't imagine myself doing that 10 years ago, but I got to stage where I thought, time, there's no time.
00:17:48
Speaker
I need to get this book out. Tomorrow's not promised. So that's the person I've maybe morphed into and I'm far less shy and more open and as opposed to silly things like coming and talking to Icon on a podcast and saying silly things or things like people might think he's crazy.
00:18:07
Speaker
Those seem like nothing now because without being more, but at the end of our time, most of us won't be doubting the things that we did, or regretting the things that we did, will be regretting the things that we didn't do.
00:18:20
Speaker
I'm happy to try and put messages out there that might not sound perfect and might sound a little bit stuttery or maybe my sentences aren't perfect, but they come from the heart and they're true and they're honest. And yeah, I think that's the person I am.
00:18:36
Speaker
Speak to me in 10 years' time and it could be some different path than I'm on, some spiritual path, but that's what my experiences have changed. And I think they've changed me in a really, really good way.
00:18:46
Speaker
like how I see the world. What are a few messages from the book that
Personal Journey and Definition of Success
00:18:53
Speaker
really stand out and that you want people to know, that you want to share with people?
00:18:58
Speaker
So a big one in the book is the limits. That's a big one. that's It's self-imposed limits and aviation is one part of it. And it's an incredible, incredible part. And when I was born, the doctors told my parents, just to let you know, this child will never walk.
00:19:15
Speaker
Don't expect much from this child. He'll need a lot of care. So to then go on 36 years later and be able to take my mom for a flight, the son that was never supposed to walk, you know that's a beautiful message, I think.
00:19:29
Speaker
to show people hold on don't let don't let the world impose this on you and don't let your you don't let doubt or fear set in so that's one big one is to try and show hopefully not in a boastful way in a genuine and a genuine way that I wasn't predicted to walk but I flew so if I can do that what else is stuck who else is held back in this world So that's a big one.
00:19:54
Speaker
And then another one is, I don't often use the word community, but that's most likely what I meant in the book and what I mean. And it is that community. It is that success happens, but a lot of the time success is walked.
00:20:08
Speaker
It's a path that we walk on with a special someone who just happens to be put into your life or or to come into your life. And it does feel, a lot of the time it feels like that providence, like faith.
00:20:20
Speaker
So that's another message is about connection. If if there's someone that encourages you and makes you feel capable and believes in you, belief, that's a big message of about about belief.
00:20:32
Speaker
And that's a person that is definitely someone that's going around and on a positive influence because the person that's clapping at your success,
00:20:43
Speaker
That person wants you to do well. They have your best interest in art. And those of the people, the achievements that I've made when I took my first steps without walking aids for the first time when I flew my first solo.
00:20:57
Speaker
Those big people, those people that helped me get there, they were the people that were clapping. And it's those people that they're your community. They're the people that have your best interests and um i want you to succeed.
00:21:09
Speaker
So yeah, limits, belief and community probably make big messages for me in the book. And also just a lifetime to last forever. On any month's journey, there's going to be lows. There's going to be a lot of lows.
00:21:22
Speaker
and they're going to be tough, they're going to be really hard, but those lows don't last forever. Neither do the highs, and the highs will come. It's about riding the wave. You just have to ride the wave and trust the process.
00:21:35
Speaker
Nobody knows what tomorrow brings, and it's easy to be a bit negative and say, oh, that might not go good, but if the past me had knew where I was today, that past version of myself would have been jumping for joy.
00:21:48
Speaker
But I'm glad that he didn't, because I had to have that arc, I had to go from below the high because the film was incredible. You know how you were saying that success is not monetary. What is success for you now?
00:22:03
Speaker
Again, I learned this from a trainer. Success for me is realizing that the only person I should be in competition with is myself. Comparison is a thief of joy. It's so easy.
00:22:15
Speaker
So that person's taller than me or that person, you know, has a a bigger plane than me. No, the only person we should all be in competition with is ourselves.
00:22:28
Speaker
So only person today I'm trying to prove that I can be as good as or better as is the person I was yesterday. If we all try to embody that, me included, me included, because I will sit and say, oh, that person's a bit more muscly than me or that person has a fancy car. You know, we all have that comparison trap.
00:22:49
Speaker
But if we just remind ourselves that it's only ourselves that we're up against. Because we're setting, and I have been ah a victim of it, a culprit of it, comparing ourselves to another person.
00:23:00
Speaker
You're setting yourself such an unfair goal. You're setting the bars. Because if that person's older or has had a head start, the metrics aren't fair. What you're measuring yourself against, it's an unfair comparison.
00:23:14
Speaker
and it's only going to make you feel bad. Whereas if I can stand up, if I can walk up four steps yesterday, and that was good, tomorrow I'm going to try and walk up five, because I know that yesterday, Matthew, you can do four.
00:23:28
Speaker
I'm only trying to beat myself, nobody else. I'm not trying to beat Hulk Hogan, who can do 100. That's what success for me is now, is trying to only measure my achievements against myself, nobody else, because we're not in competition with the world.
00:23:43
Speaker
No,
Aspirations for Inspiring Others
00:23:44
Speaker
we do think we are. Exactly. What has stayed consistent with you throughout your journey and what has definitely changed?
00:23:55
Speaker
What has stayed consistent? Family definitely. Family have been there regardless about family. Family have been the backbone and and my biggest supporters throughout my whole journey through the ups and the downs.
00:24:11
Speaker
And family have always, always, always the been the one constant, the one non-variable in life throughout the journey, which is incredible to have such supportive family.
00:24:22
Speaker
That's the constant. And I suppose one other constant is my drive. and Again, not to sound big-headed, but I've always had that drive since I was a young it supposed ah i was a child of not taking no for an answer and always trying to achieve more.
00:24:39
Speaker
And I did think whenever I had the health crisis that that was something that might go. because things were so dark and bleak at the time. But it didn't. It certainly dwindled at the time.
00:24:51
Speaker
And it did literally. I'd lost a lot of drive, but it clung on. And obviously it bounced right back. And everything's improved. So the drive, my drive, and and hope. Hope has always was been there, which is good.
00:25:04
Speaker
What has changed as My mindset, my and mindset and mentality and the things that I thought were important in life or I thought were goals and I suppose my timeline.
00:25:18
Speaker
You know, we all think by a certain age, 21, you have to have completed duty, 25, twenty five you know, settled and married, 30 house. We're all on a different path and our timeline's not set in stone and it can happen out of order and back to front.
00:25:35
Speaker
I learned to learn to walk at 1, so I just done things back to front. So it's fine to have a different timeline. And yeah, my mindset definitely changed so I don't look at life the same way.
00:25:49
Speaker
i don't sweat the small stuff. I don't take things too seriously. And yeah, I just have a ah more positive, a bit more positive outlook. I'm less stressful. I look without all those social pressures that you feel like you have to meet or you have to match up to.
00:26:06
Speaker
I think I learned through my experiences that there's definitely much more important things in life than a new phone or a fancy house or fancy car. So that's probably at the biggest change in me is that I'm very less materialistic and more about connection and being a human.
00:26:22
Speaker
Oh, that's wonderful, being a human. It sounds easy, right? But actually, I feel like we do get lost in these you know timelines. And you can spend your whole life trying to fit within these timelines, and then you've missed everything, and you've wasted your entire life, right?
00:26:41
Speaker
Because you've been chasing timelines. That's a very common thing, actually. And I think about it quite a lot myself. about timelines and what you should, like you were saying, what you should have done by this age, how you should be by this time and who you should be with.
00:26:59
Speaker
All these kinds of things that really take us away from the moment and what we can actually do and who we can actually be in present. And yeah, like you're saying, being human.
00:27:12
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, I like to be human because it's it's just being kind and it doesn't cost anything to be kind. And yeah, I agree with on the timeline. Timelines, it's not where you should be, it's where you're going. and The road, the distance of the road is undetermined. It doesn't have to be set points and on certain milestones. So no, yeah, definitely agree there.
00:27:36
Speaker
Who do you think, you you mentioned very briefly, but who do you think Matthew is in 10 years? If you could meet him now, what would he be like?
00:27:47
Speaker
So Matthew in 10 years will hopefully still be flying. Really where I see myself is I want to use my experience and my platform to encourage and help and support others.
00:28:01
Speaker
that feel stuck and it's the best word, I think it's the best word that I can use, the best adjective, is stuck. So people that feel any rot or have had some traumatic event happen in their life, be that disability or loss, and certainly those people that have a lot of self-doubt or don't believe in themselves, I want to try and use the experiences that I've had and really show them that we all create false stories in our head and false narratives based upon what sometimes what society or what life has taught us things should look like.
00:28:38
Speaker
So like on paper I shouldn't fly. those pieces of the puzzle don't really fit but I made it happen with the help of an incredible charity. So in 10 years time I suppose that's where I see myself as trying to use my experience and and create a platform to inspire people, to inspire others, to maybe push themselves outside their comfort zone and to make the phone call or to fill out the application or to take the first step. It's one act.
00:29:07
Speaker
My life did change when I learned to fly. It completely changed. It turned upside down. My life couldn't be further removed from what it was or where I thought it was going.
00:29:18
Speaker
It's the complete opposite. And i've I've done things that I can't ever have imagined doing. which is incredible. So 10 years time I'll probably have done a skydive or done wing walking or something crazy like that but yes me in 10 years will hopefully be inspiring somebody on a platform getting a message out there that the sky isn't then in the limit, the sky is only a start, you know, the sky is not the limit, there are no limits, they only exist in our heads.
00:29:48
Speaker
And what's the first thing to do to start breaking these stories down, right? Like, what's the first thing? There has to be like a moment, I think, because there was for me.
00:30:00
Speaker
I remember for me, it was just sitting staring them into space and I wasn't happy. I was not happy at all. If anything, it was miserable. I was really miserable and dying and nothing was going right. And I didn't feel like I had a purpose. I didn't feel like there was anything I could give to society or to the world or anything I could enjoy, really.
00:30:20
Speaker
I was doing that, that moment, I sat my head. It's that last, when I talked about that last thread of hope that was always hanging on there, it was not that. It just said to me, no, this story's not done. There's more. There's more to come.
00:30:33
Speaker
At the time, i didn't I didn't know what it was. That's the scary thing. I had no idea it was going to be fine. I knew something had to change. I just knew that something had to change. had to have that moment.
00:30:45
Speaker
I just didn't know what it was. that daydream ended in me just turning on the laptop top and I just started researching and I can't even remember what. I just researched things that I would be capable of doing or I just needed something to to change the pattern of Groundhog Day of of life just being the same him every single day and that's whenever I i stumbled upon the the charity but there definitely does need to be that moment where there's a talk with yourself and you really have to say, you know, is this it? Do I want this to be my life or do I want more?
00:31:17
Speaker
And most people want more than they do. They don't want to be stuck. They just don't know how. And that's okay. You don't need to know how. It's about looking inside yourself and saying, what is it I really, really, really want? what they really really want from life.
00:31:32
Speaker
And if it sounds crazy that's fine, if it sounds it's okay if it does sound crazy. I've had many shocked faces when people see me taxi down, they're nervous like I've seen jaws drop.
00:31:44
Speaker
It's okay people think it's crazy, normally it's the crazy ideas that that happen and that work. A person has to have to chat, first of all, with themselves, realize that they want more, and then say, right, what is it I really want?
00:31:57
Speaker
And then just start, just just reach out, try and make it happen. Chase it. The universe has a way of bringing these things into our lives, if we want it. If we're open, right? If we're open to it, exactly, yeah.
00:32:12
Speaker
Because if the door is closed, nothing nothing will come in. It's definitely not going to arrive on its own, yeah, you have to want and have to put something out there to show the world that you want to.
00:32:23
Speaker
I went on a retreat and someone said something very beautiful and very true to me. We have to associate not changing with so much pain that changing has to become inevitable.
00:32:37
Speaker
Because actually, as human beings, most of the time we associate pain with changing. So you kind of have to turn this around and be like, no, actually staying the same is the most painful thing that can happen.
00:32:50
Speaker
Most people perceive change as painful. I think that is maybe the good thing about change in the sphere of someone being stuck and not wanting to change that work-a-day groundhog routine.
00:33:04
Speaker
It's that a lot of the time change is inevitable. It'll happen regardless. But whether you can accelerate it by starting to change yourself or are putting it but in some of the work in early. But change, yeah, a lot of people perceive change as a negative experience.
00:33:19
Speaker
and know I know I certainly have in the past, but change, change is good. Yeah, change is good. It's definitely a process, you know, to become friendlier with change.
00:33:30
Speaker
to start feeling good when transitions happen. For me also, it's so oh it's very yeah it's a very new and strange experience, but that's the way to get to a different version of you.
00:33:45
Speaker
That's the only way, right? There's no other
Future Plans for Writing and Speaking
00:33:48
Speaker
way. You don't succeed by staying the same and doing the same thing. So what is next for you? I definitely think there's another book in me somewhere because had to scale the current book back quite significantly or else it would have been.
00:34:02
Speaker
It probably would have been an encyclopedia. I do hope to try and step into motivational speaking and try and help others who make me feel held back in any vein in life. And then thankfully, thanks to our chat today, you reminded me I want to do work on that time piece. I want to try and think about time that because it's not felt enough.
00:34:25
Speaker
And think a lot of us put so much off because even knowing that inevitability of time, I don't think people actually really fully embrace their own body.
00:34:36
Speaker
The time is is not forever. So I want to do some work on that time. Show people that act now. Go on that adventure now. Do it while you can.