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Ep 61: City Dragon
47 Plays30 days ago
Chris has our second Employee Pick with an obscure, kung-fu drama: City Dragon (1995). Directed by Philly native (we assume) “Philthy” Phil Phillips and starring MC Kung Fu, this is a homegrown effort that also has some musical numbers in it. No one’s calling it a musical, however, nor does anyone really know what to call it other than Pure Entertainment. It takes a wild second act swerve and is domestically intense. Also, Chris has found a shocking origin story, so be sure to tune in!
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Transcript
00:00:28
Speaker
That you would, if you could, and you know that you should, yes you know that you should be good.
Introduction to the Podcast
00:00:40
Speaker
Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to your favorite bad movie podcast. It's the only podcast that's brave enough to ask the question, if this movie's so bad, why do I like it so much?
00:00:54
Speaker
We're your hosts. I am, of course... Chris Anderson, why are you dissing me when you should be kissing me, Chris Anderson?
00:01:05
Speaker
And of course,
00:01:09
Speaker
I've got with me my fabulous co-host, Filthy Greg Bossy. Greg, how are you? I am very excited to be referenced as Filthy Phil, oddly enough, which is not a thing I can say in a lot of contexts.
00:01:21
Speaker
know I am doing well. How are you this evening? I'm doing okay. I had a rough day, but I'm super excited to be talking about. so Yeah, I'm going to be honest. I was putting on a face. I'm doing okay, but we'll say well still.
00:01:34
Speaker
Fair and enough. And with us, of course, we have the original well-doer. It's my wonderful wife, Anna. How are you, my dove?
Meet the Hosts and Guest
00:01:41
Speaker
um
00:01:44
Speaker
Hanging in there. All right. There we go yeah here we go. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm just, I'm a little tired. Yeah. All right. Well, you did watch this week's pick, so I can understand it.
00:01:58
Speaker
Yeah, it takes a lot out of you. It is an engaging
Employee Picks: 'City Dragon'
00:02:01
Speaker
movie. This week, we're continuing our series of employee picks with my pick, City Dragon.
00:02:09
Speaker
And if you haven't seen City Dragon, frankly, I feel bad for you. ah But here's a brief summary to hold. Very, very excited for this.
Plot Summary of 'City Dragon'
00:02:28
Speaker
Ray is a rapping martial artist falls in love with a victim of domestic violence. But when they get married, he learns that their happily ever after is just the beginning of his struggles.
00:02:43
Speaker
Yeah, that's um ah really nice. i think I think that's the core of what they were trying to get at here somehow. And that makes the pacing, or I should say the structure of the movie, feel like it makes sense, despite the fact that it doesn't make any sense.
00:03:02
Speaker
No. No. This is a very strange... It's very weird. It's very strange, yes. Now, I chose City Dragon
Discovering 'City Dragon'
00:03:11
Speaker
for me. This is this is on my Mount Rushmore.
00:03:14
Speaker
This is from my finest reserve stock. I don't have a lot of City Dragons that I know about. This is the creme de la creme of a goofy action movie to watch.
00:03:28
Speaker
I found City Dragon in the best possible way that you can encounter this kind of movie. I found it in the wild. I found it in ah dollar store by the subway stop by my apartment and that I would just check out on my way home just trying to find what's weird with that you could only find in the dollar store DVD collection.
00:03:49
Speaker
And I pick up the box and the title is city dragon. And it looks like stand to rain. And he is billed on the front of the box as MC c Kung fu And like, obviously, obviously I have to watch this. Yeah.
00:04:06
Speaker
So what year was this that you found it? you remember? This would have been in the mid aughts. I want to say probably somewhere around 2005, 2006, or, thousand five two thousand six Okay.
00:04:20
Speaker
um
'City Dragon' as a Cult Classic
00:04:23
Speaker
Maybe as late as like 2009.
00:04:26
Speaker
ah But no, no, no. Well, anyway, anyway, somewhere in that range. Sure. And it instantly became classic, a favorite to me that I showed to a lot of people. I know I showed it to both of you guys to either you remember the circumstances where you first encountered City Dragon.
00:04:45
Speaker
Just you. I don't remember specifically at what point, but it's kind of just like when you have entered my memories, kind of so does City Dragon.
00:04:58
Speaker
Yeah. If I'm introducing myself to people, this is going to be something that I'm going to bust out. Like, you want to see a great, bad movie? Let's go. Let's do City Dragon. This is it.
00:05:08
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. And I associate it with just being on in the background at a lot of parties. Because I know I've seen this technically probably probably a dozen or more times.
00:05:26
Speaker
I could see that.
00:05:29
Speaker
But it it surprised that something surprises me in it every time. yeah And even just having watched it two weeks ago with the discord when when we watched it this weekend there were a couple of things that i was like i how did i forget about that it's because there's so much yeah it's stuffed It's really incredibly rich and it starts off at such a blazing pace yeah that it like you're just getting body blows over and over for like the first 15 minutes before you can even figure out what's going on. Or names of characters or like, you know, what time, like yeah every single line. Yeah.
00:06:17
Speaker
It's crazy. it's It's truly fantastic. Do you guys want to hear what I found out about City Dragon? Absolutely.
00:06:28
Speaker
Yes, indeed.
Bombshell Revelation about Production
00:06:42
Speaker
I wish I had some context About the background of the film Script director actors on set What's going on on screen?
00:06:52
Speaker
I wanna hear some details Gossips can do all that shit Can't imagine all that
00:07:11
Speaker
Now, before we even get too deep into it, I do want to mention that I i normally withhold the research that I do from Greg and Anna, by and large. But this time I found a bomb so shocking, such a truth that shed a whole new light on the film that I had to share that.
00:07:31
Speaker
yeah Yes. ah And also to find out information about something that genuinely they're just really you shouldn't be able to find a lot of information about this. No. who's it There's a reason people don't know what it is.
00:07:43
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. I was I was impressed with myself. But OK, well, I'll let you know when we hit it, listeners. So the movie City Dragon, it came out in 1995. It's also known as Warrior Brother.
Director Filthy Phil Phillips
00:07:58
Speaker
Interesting. Interesting.
00:07:59
Speaker
I haven't been able to see the Warrior Brother cut. I bet that it has different opening credits. Wait, there's a different cut of this film. Well, yeah I think so, just because it was released on VHS under the title Warrior Brother. okay So I imagine the opening credits would be different.
00:08:19
Speaker
um So at the very least, there's going to be that. so I'm very curious to see if I can track down a VHS of Warrior Brother.
00:08:26
Speaker
our director is filthy Phil Phillips. He is credited as filthy Phil Phillips, filthy with a pH and in quotation marks. Yes. He also in the credits is listed as like, Philip Phillips, Filthy Phillips, Phil Phillips.
00:08:44
Speaker
It's weird. And Filthy Phil. Yeah, he gets four separate credits in the opening credit. This film has two taglines. One, the one that I was familiar you're with, the one on the DVD box cover, Beware of His Fury.
00:08:59
Speaker
Mm-hmm. I think you could punch it up with just making it Beware His Fury. Yeah. and The of really clunks it up. Yeah.
00:09:10
Speaker
ah The other tagline, he's the baddest good guy in the house. Ooh. Wow. That was the tagline when it was warrior brother.
00:09:23
Speaker
Okay. He's the baddest good guy in the house. He's the baddest good guy in the house. ah Now, ah our director slash co-writer slash co-star slash co-producer, Filthy Phil Phillips was born in 1958. He never directed or completed another film before or after this. In 1990, he co-wrote a screenplay called From Watts to Yachts. Great name.
00:09:55
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. I would love to read From Watts to Yachts. He co-wrote it with Ike Solomon, who was the second unit director on City Dragon. Okay. Keeping in the family.
00:10:07
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. So he has some people that he has a working relationship with. That's what set him up for success. He did ah try get one movie into pre-production. It was slated to shoot in February of 1995. It was going to be called Showdown at Sundown.
00:10:24
Speaker
ah Filthy was going to write and direct and it would have starred David Faustino from mary Children. oh wow. ah Filthy would have also had a role in it.
00:10:35
Speaker
He was in the the cast list that I saw. And I think it would have been a Western because it was slated to shoot in Arizona. Okay.
00:10:46
Speaker
Sure. and like this concept. Yeah, I would love to see Filthy's Western. Yeah, especially starring um to the boy. Bud Bundy?
00:10:57
Speaker
Yeah, from yeah the Children. Yeah. ah Now, I do have a theory that his father was Phil Phillips, singer of the 1950s classic swamp pop hit Sea of Love. Interesting.
00:11:14
Speaker
And that's why Phil has a nautical-themed musical number Andy wrote From Watts to Yachts. You know, I think this nautical theming is indicative of that.
00:11:26
Speaker
ah But that's just a theory at this point. I can't even truly say I know what filthy Phil Phillips's real name is. He did, though, register some things, ah copyright Phil Phillips. So I'm assuming that's his name.
00:11:42
Speaker
I did find more information about our star. yes though he is billed as MC Kung Fu, his real name is Stan Duran.
00:11:53
Speaker
And once you know that, you know, he was also the co-writer and co-producer on city dragon. All of a sudden it's becoming a much smaller family. Uh,
00:12:04
Speaker
You can tell from the film that he's also a trained martial artist. And if we were to assume the dojo where he did some of the filming was his, or at least the one that he studied at, that he was trained in karate and or taekwondo.
00:12:18
Speaker
That seemed to be what the gym was offering. Now, I thought this was going to be the sum total of all that I found out about what these guys did before the movie.
00:12:30
Speaker
But then i was hip to the fact that you can search copyright records by former guest of the show, Saul Rosenbear. Shout out Saul Rosenbear for his fantastic research assistance on this one.
00:12:43
Speaker
From there, i was able to find out that in 1993, Stan Durane had written something called Ignored. Terrible title. Also, when I saw multiple listings under ignored, I had assumed that it was just some sort of encoding error in the records, the copyright office, but it was actually just called ignored.
00:13:05
Speaker
So from there, i Googled Stan Duran ignored, and it turned out that it was a play that premiered at the Richard Pryor Theater in Hollywood on Friday, 13th. Wow. August 1993.
00:13:17
Speaker
Wow. august ninety ninety three It was booked for a month. Tickets were $15.
00:13:26
Speaker
Man. Wow. I would have yeah loved to have had the $15 to pony up to see that. Even in 1993 money. Yeah. 100%. It was 35 or whatever that would be. Yeah. I'd pay $100.
00:13:40
Speaker
But no more. ah wouldn't pay more than $100. Not too much more. Yeah. $102. That's when I start to second guess it. Yeah. Yeah. Now, I found a review of Ignored in Variety, written by Julio Martinez, that reveals that Ignored was the first version of City Dragon.
00:14:00
Speaker
It started its life on the stage. This is incredible. It really, really is. It really, really is. It's like it's it's like finding out that Manos was a stage play originally.
00:14:18
Speaker
and Like that kind of. Yeah. But it also, it makes so much sense. It does. Yeah. Oddly enough. It makes everything make more sense.
00:14:30
Speaker
And I think in a way it almost ties it into that same black theater tradition that Tyler Perry was coming out of because they both have a sort of everything but the kitchen sink in terms of what's appropriate to be in the same movie. like so dramatic Yeah. yeah It has the exact same tone as Diary of a Mad Black Woman.
00:14:53
Speaker
Yep. Yeah. Yeah, there's just not martial arts in Tyler Perry movies that I recall, but I haven't seen even close to all of them. Tyler should consider it, I would say.
00:15:07
Speaker
would 100% say yes. If Tyler Perry made like a Medea Kung Fu movie, I'm in the theater. Yeah. Richard the butler took down a bunch of
Origin as a Stage Play
00:15:19
Speaker
would-be ne'er-do-wells in episode of The Oval last week.
00:15:23
Speaker
It's true. He was trained in CQC.
00:15:28
Speaker
Now, uh, Julio Martinez did not love the show. What? Well, here's what he says. There is no reason for the existence of such a slipshod effort as ignored, other than as a dubious showcase for its writer slash producer slash fight choreographer slash star, Stan Duran.
00:15:54
Speaker
Doreen has fashioned a tale that provides ample opportunity to exhibit his finely sculpted physique and display a bit of martial arts dexterity, but little else.
00:16:07
Speaker
It's flimsy plot is further sabotaged by even flimsier production values, clumsy staging, and a large but woefully under-rehearsed ensemble.
00:16:20
Speaker
Interesting to hear something be called, like a stage production called under-rehearsed. ah Yeah. and we Like this is, you could stand to workshop this a little bit more. Yes.
00:16:31
Speaker
but I think this is our, What, our third stage adaptation after ah Jean Genet's The Balcony, and Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, and now City Dragon.
00:16:44
Speaker
Yeah. It's an interesting tradition. Yeah. And those are three interesting productions from stage to film. Yeah. Now, there's information in the review for the City Dragon Scholar. Other than that, ignored was not a good play.
00:17:01
Speaker
Both John Williams and Jay Heron were in that production as Rick and John, respectively. So we know they were able to build a relationship with some of the actors that he liked, and he brought them back for the same roles in the film.
00:17:15
Speaker
And that he was happy with both of their performances. So whatever they're doing in the film, he's loving it. So one of these guys played Rick, right? Yeah. Yeah, he made a mistake with liking this performance.
00:17:28
Speaker
Yeah. I don't think you could find a better Rick. and I'll put to you. i mean, maybe you're right about that based on the character, but it yeah, we'll get into it, but let's keep going.
00:17:42
Speaker
ah We also know that none of the women in the cast made it to the film, and we can infer a number of things from that. but I don't want to speculate too much. You do the math. You you think on it.
00:17:55
Speaker
ah We learned that it originally had a different ending. Oh, instead of escaping from the mental asylum and kidnapping baby Ray Ray, John instead escapes from the mental asylum and seduces Tina, which is really funny.
00:18:10
Speaker
That doesn't. That doesn't. And telling. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Telling about, ah you know, Stan Duran as an auteur. Now, most importantly, we learned that Filthy was not a character and was not involved at this point.
00:18:28
Speaker
oh Oh. As either a talent or a character. So we must assume that a lot of the changes between stage and screen could be attributed to Filthy's co-writing credit.
00:18:40
Speaker
It's like, you should also have a friend called Filthy. yeah And he should be the coolest one.
00:18:49
Speaker
He's actually the coolest one. It's filthy. I would agree. It was also his idea to have John dangle a baby off of the roof, possibly.
00:19:01
Speaker
So that's a big idea. I like, and that shows that he knows the the ending that a traditional action movie needs to have. You you need to end on a big set piece. yeah You need to up the stakes.
00:19:13
Speaker
And the stakes have already been so sky high. Yeah. Yeah. So I could see Filthy had some strong instincts. It's the same a shame he wasn't able to to make ah Showdown at Sundown.
00:19:27
Speaker
Now, I couldn't find any information about the actual production of City Dragon. and And there appears to have and been no theatrical release.
Release History and 1995 Film Context
00:19:37
Speaker
It was released on VHS in 1996 under the title Warrior Brother.
00:19:42
Speaker
And then on DVD in 2003 under the title City Dragon. So knowing that that's when it came out, I'm assuming it probably didn't have a very long run. no So I'm going to guess I would have found that by 2005, 2006.
00:19:55
Speaker
Okay. I'm just surprised that you found it where you found it at the time you found it, because that's a heck of a thing for them to choose to sell. Just the right place at the right time, I guess. That's right.
00:20:08
Speaker
Now, it appears that Filthy never worked again, at least in the film industry. Stan Duran directed his first feature in 2007 called Kung Fu Assassins.
00:20:19
Speaker
called kungfu assassin I have been unable to locate a copy of it, and the title is spelled wrong on the poster. Hmm. Great.
00:20:30
Speaker
I was able to find a song from Kung Fu Assassins called Watermelons. That will be our outro. I will be playing it in full. Yes.
00:20:43
Speaker
Other martial arts films of 1995. Okay. got Mortal Kombat. Classic. Sure, yeah. Have you watched Mortal Kombat recently, Green?
00:20:55
Speaker
Not recently. I saw it when it came out on VHS and then not again. I'd say it's worth revisiting. It has charts. You should check out. should watch a number of ah video game adaptations that are fight games.
00:21:08
Speaker
Also, another good one in that genre, DOA. Yeah, just to say that's on my list along with any of the Street Fighters. All right. Then we got, you also got Rumble in the Bronx that year.
00:21:20
Speaker
That's classic.
00:21:22
Speaker
Yeah, the one where Jackie Chan broke his foot jumping off a hovercraft or something. Yeah. You got Three Ninjas Knuckle Up. Might have seen it.
00:21:33
Speaker
The Forgotten Three Ninjas sequel. Yeah. You got Kickboxer 5 Redemption with Mark Dacascos in there. Interesting. He's the Kickboxer this time. um Okay. Also, this year we've got Christoph Ganz's Crying Freeman.
00:21:48
Speaker
Also with Mark Dacascos Christoph Gans fans don't forget to check out our episode on Brotherhood of the Wolf featuring Gretchen Felker Martin and of course you've also got Mighty Morphin Power Rangers that was the first movie I saw in the theater ironically me and my little friends we were all like let's go to Mighty Morphin Power Rangers let me so fucking dumb And it was. it was dumb. We had a great time.
Detailed Plot Analysis
00:22:20
Speaker
Good. but You guys want to talk about the plot of City Dragon? Oh, yes. should
00:22:44
Speaker
Plot bumper, listen to me. I'm gonna give you the plot summary. Come on, baby. Here's the synopsis.
00:22:56
Speaker
Plot bumper, plot bumper.
00:23:09
Speaker
So we open with credits over black. and a funky Casio beat playing in the background. The credits let us know that this movie stars MC Kung Fu, and it is directed by Filthy Phil Phillips.
00:23:24
Speaker
So we're already off to a good start. Yeah. yeah
00:23:29
Speaker
We then get a scene where a group of cholos try to carjack our hero, Ray. Ray rips off his shirt and beats all of their asses before driving off in his awesome silver Corvette.
00:23:41
Speaker
Yeah. One heck of an intro. Just like right out of the gate, we're smashing people. Yeah. Right away, you know, Ray is a bad dude. Before you even know his name. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He's he's essentially MC Kung Fu in this, I feel like.
00:24:00
Speaker
He's... ah he's It's hard to think of this role being played by anyone else, and that's not a compliment. Mm-hmm. He does truly embody it.
00:24:12
Speaker
He does. i you said, what, what do I think of him as a whole? And he's difficult to take in as a whole. Yeah. Kind of, kind of take him in. You want to look away.
00:24:27
Speaker
Starting with the packs, which are just enormous. Yeah. And are, are as the variety critic. ah mentioned just on display at ah all opportunities.
00:24:43
Speaker
Yeah, he's taking any opportunity to take that shirt off. He knows they're the best special effect they've got. Yeah.
00:24:52
Speaker
And he just has such a strange air about him. He's very intense. He's very... ah Overconfident.
00:25:03
Speaker
Yes. He is also that like, I don't, this is so strange, but I feel like I have to talk about what he wears. Yes. Because a lot of what he wears is things that would make fighting comfortable.
00:25:19
Speaker
And I don't mean like easy. I mean like really comfortable. And he's not concerned about what it looks like. it's it's just like It's just like, yeah, it's sort of loose sweats all the time with a suit jacket and fingerless gloves and a wife beater.
00:25:36
Speaker
But it's like he has to be ready for a fight at like all times, it feels like. That's his life. It seems like it is because he gets into so many fights for no reason. yeah ah But there's something about watching someone with all this confidence saying all these things, doing all these crazy things and being like, your pants don't have a zipper on them.
00:26:00
Speaker
like you done Like you're not. All of the time it's sweatpants and it's a lot of fingerless gloves all of the time. Yeah. Not something you see a lot of places.
00:26:11
Speaker
He picked a look and he stuck with it. He's like, sure I look good in this. I'm going to just get five of these. have five of those. And I'm set for the week. am i Am I going to the club? Am I going to a job? Am I going to get ice cream?
00:26:26
Speaker
Fingerless gloves. Yeah. Got to keep those fingers loose. That's right. I can't wear boxing gloves everywhere. That would be crazy. um Yeah, he is a wild guy. And I think he's interesting in contrast to Johnny from Cool as Ice, our other, you know, rapping Romeo lead character.
00:26:49
Speaker
And how much cooler Vanilla Ice was? Yeah. Easy to say. Yeah. Like, if you thought Vanilla Ice looked goofy in that movie, you gotta check out City Dragon.
00:27:04
Speaker
and So we then smash cut to a nightclub where we meet the three home dogs, as they call themselves. We've already met Ray, but we meet his best friends, Filthy Phil, a rapper who likes to fuck.
00:27:19
Speaker
And Rick, a scheming white boy who also likes to fuck. They also refer to themselves as the three muffketeers. Yes, they sure do.
00:27:32
Speaker
Boy, that's a rough turn of phrase. Yes. And I think they've also gotten an extraordinarily long. Like we put our hands together and we say a little chant, but it's also like 30 seconds long.
00:27:43
Speaker
um Yeah. It's too long is what it is. Well, and I think out of the two home dogs between Rick and Filthy, like Rick is very off-putting and like sexually aggressive and like a liar. He's a schemer.
00:27:59
Speaker
Yeah. ah you know, and he's kind of a lovable ne'er-do-well type because he's loyal to Ray. That's his lovable qualities, his loyalty to his home dogs. If only he could show that kind of loyalty to women, he'd be a great guy.
00:28:13
Speaker
And Phil is obviously he's the cool one. He's like he's the best rapper of them or diegetically. I don't think that's actually true, but I feel like within the story of the film, yeah that's supposed to be true. He's supposed to be like the cool laid back one.
00:28:31
Speaker
um But Phil is also the worst actor of the three. Sure. Sure.
00:28:40
Speaker
Watching it this time and imagining Rick's performance on a stage, I liked it a lot better. Yeah, I guess I could see that. It's very easily readable from the back.
00:28:51
Speaker
Yes. Yeah. He's the corny white guy, and he's playing a big corny white guy.
00:28:59
Speaker
Now, all three home dogs, they are united in their love of fucking. It is the entire basis of their friendship. That and they all like to speak in rhyme. For the first 15 minutes or so of the movie, every line of dialogue these guys have is a rhyming couplet.
00:29:16
Speaker
It's great. yeah it's It's honestly spectacular. Yeah. And the the dialogue, I think, is what really separates this movie from a lot of other sort of B action movies. You can really tell that some extra care and thought was put into it.
00:29:33
Speaker
And it does make it more interesting and more fun. One hundred percent. It's also really interesting to see three people commit so hard to that and everyone else exist in the real world. Talk to them and have it just be like, okay.
00:29:46
Speaker
But sometimes be like, wow, you got a lot. of You always rhyme. Like people yeah acknowledge it a little bit, but it's like, if I knew these three people and they did that, I'd be like, tonight, can we just not invite the home? Can we not invite the muffketeers?
00:29:59
Speaker
and invite the home dogs Not tonight. Just not tonight. do you It's okay, but just not, no rhyming tonight. Yeah, like I feel like I'd have fun hanging out with the home dogs out, but I wouldn't invite them to come hang out at my house. No, and I don't want them to meet my friends, because especially if any of them were women, it would be just like, you're going to want to stay away tonight. The muffed coutiers are going to be here. I think I don't need to say anymore.
00:30:25
Speaker
i think the best interaction with the home dogs is you're like at a house party and you go bum one cigarette from one of them and catch up and then that's it And you're like, yeah, those guys. And then that's it.
00:30:38
Speaker
Now, it is to the end of getting laid that Ray leaves his home dogs to go put the moves on a girl called Vanjie. Yep. The two of them then go fuck at Vanjie's apartment.
00:30:53
Speaker
In the morning, he's left her a poem saying that he's not interested in anything serious. And then he peels out in his car. And when he's read, she's reading the poem like he's not there.
00:31:04
Speaker
But the sound is just him behind the camera. It's funny. Yeah. I think they do it one more time. It's not as noticeable.
00:31:16
Speaker
But it's still just like that. That's an easy add and post. Like, that's a super easy add and post. But this way we'll have timed it out. you know Anyway, that's what they did.
00:31:28
Speaker
ah The next scene, Ray comes on to a blonde woman in gym wear. He's instantly in the very next scene. this yeah this is This is not an exaggeration to say it's the next scene either.
00:31:39
Speaker
Yeah. yeah He's just doing it straight up cold calls out on the street like, hey, fat ass, you want to fuck? And she's like, ah yeah. Yeah, I do. Because you have a really cool Corvette.
00:31:52
Speaker
Yeah, it turns out ladies love a vet. Yeah, it's good to know. Yeah. Listeners, here's a little tip from us to you. Ladies love a cool Corvette.
00:32:05
Speaker
Now, ah that's how Ray ends up having two sex scenes with two different women who will never appear again in the film in the first 10 minutes. Then we get about half of a music video for a song called Scandalous, just to show that the home dogs are cool dudes, I suppose.
00:32:24
Speaker
Then we're back at the nightclub where we meet Sherry and Vicky. They have sort of a B and C plot that is very threadbare, ah but they're cousins and they're on a date with Rick and Filthy and Rick says that he's an agent and he can get Sherry work.
00:32:40
Speaker
Then later on, he's like, fucked Sherry. ah Anyway, then I dumped her. The next day, Vicky is hanging out with her best friend, Tina, at the park when Tina's boyfriend, John, pops up and threatens to beat the shit out of her.
00:32:57
Speaker
Vicky thinks that Tina should leave him, and Tina's starting to agree. She's like, yeah yeah I just wish that he would stop beating me. yeah I might just leave him. That's her sort of vibe on it.
00:33:09
Speaker
It's also weird because I feel like Vicky's like, man, he's such a dweeb. It's like, he's also beating her. So he's more than that Whatever words you use, he's definitely much worse than that word. It feels like this was written from a very ah male perspective of being against spousal abuse. Do you know what mean?
00:33:29
Speaker
Yes. They're like, spousal abuse is not cool. Like, that's their vibe. So the next day at the park, Tina meets just the man to lure her away from John.
00:33:43
Speaker
It's Ray. He hits her with his Frisbee, which he appears to be using alone, and he's dressed like goth Super Mario. It's so great. It's so good.
00:33:55
Speaker
It's so weird. Be a great Halloween costume. God, yes. You've got a great point. Sweetie, do you want to be Ray and Tina for Halloween this year?
00:34:07
Speaker
oh God. It feels inappropriate as white people. We're White Ray and Tina.
00:34:18
Speaker
ah Okay, fine. We'll talk about it later. ah He proceeds to spit the strangest game ever caught on film, all in rhyming couplets. Very aggressive.
00:34:28
Speaker
Very does not take no for an answer. And Tina's intrigued. When Ray goes and he tells the home dogs that it was love at first sight, Rick puts it best when he says, ain't no time for love when you was stud, you'll wind up a dud, cuz.
00:34:45
Speaker
That's how they talk. Yeah. Yeah. The whole time. That's how they talk. Even when they're not rhyming. Yeah, they still have that vibe when they talk. Yeah. yeah
00:34:59
Speaker
But ray Ray pays the home dogs no mind. And when he sees Tina at the club, which we now know is called the Dragon's Lair, he continues his incredibly aggressive style of pitching woo.
00:35:15
Speaker
Tina still thinks he's a dog, but when she comes home to John's apartment that night and John slaps her, that's the last straw. She storms out. and This scene is all done in one take.
00:35:26
Speaker
And I need to point out that John's apartment has the craziest stuff in the world in it. And also the lighting is bonkers. Yes. It's lit. Like he lives across the street from a Las Vegas casino.
00:35:39
Speaker
Yeah. Like a lot of getting lights outside. Yeah, with the theme colors of purple and pea green. Yeah. And on his wall, he has just a guitar body.
00:35:53
Speaker
Yeah. And he has a desk with no chair and like an industrial sized garbage pail. And that's what he has in his apartment. This is a very normal sounding apartment.
00:36:08
Speaker
And yeah, the film is all, this scene is shot all in one take, which I've only noticed for the first time around. And I thought that was cool. i thought been The one thing I will say since we're talking about this is I feel like the action scenes are nice in that they don't do a lot of quick cutting.
00:36:25
Speaker
So even if the action isn't that great, it's still sort of impressive to just see action. Yeah, this is some good old like 1980s style high kicking, you know, this is like early Jean-Claude Van Damme knockoff type of action.
00:36:39
Speaker
That's just, you know, it's fun to watch. Like clearly Stan DeRain has at least studied some martial arts. yeah He knows how to throw a kick. And I will say that there's not a lot of thought put in this movie, but Filthy did put enough thought into it to make all the action readable and like palpable to an extent.
00:36:58
Speaker
Yeah.
00:37:00
Speaker
So after Tina leaves John, she goes to Ray and the two of them have the single most romantic tender sex scene of the first 15 minutes of this movie.
00:37:14
Speaker
Then ah the home dogs, they all hang out of the Dragon's Lair with their assorted lady friends. The fellas bust Ray's chops for being whipped. And Rick says that he only dates black women.
00:37:26
Speaker
And then Filthy performs his hit song, Night Swim. The best song in the movie, in my opinion. It's a great song. I have searched and searched and searched to try and find an uncut copy of Night Swim, and I can't find it anywhere.
00:37:41
Speaker
Listeners, if you have access to Night Swim, please get in touch.
Key Scenes and Character Dynamics
00:37:46
Speaker
Favoritebadmoviepod at gmail.com Now, unfortunately, John, he's also at the club.
00:37:54
Speaker
And he starts some trouble. He throws a drink in Ray's face. When everybody tries to leave, they learn that John also he has a posse that he brought with him for some reason.
00:38:06
Speaker
This just gives Ray the excuse to whip several cowards asses and whip his shirt off. Yep. not in that order yeah and rick pretends to have a gun he tries to scare up john rick tries to you know do his part but obviously he's not a scrapper he's just a little scrawny white guy and phil does say i got your back ray because you know that phil is loyal and ready to throw down if necessary but obviously if it gets to the point where ray is in trouble phil isn't really going to turn the tide no uh
00:38:41
Speaker
But Ray, he squares up against John. And before they can exchange blows, one of one of John's goons stabs filthy in the stomach and everyone scatters.
00:38:54
Speaker
In the hospital, Phil urges Ray against seeking revenge as it'll just land him in prison. I also just want to say when they they cut to Phil on the street and he just goes,
00:39:07
Speaker
I guess I was a lover and not a fighter. And then you see him turn his head. And I always think he's, I always think he's dead. Yeah. I always assume it's just like, Jesus, we had a, we had a stabbing death in the first 20 minutes of this film.
00:39:22
Speaker
This is crazy. yeah But it turns out he's not dead. Maybe, maybe they changed that. Maybe that was a later edition. That's why Phil does so little in the rest of the film. Yeah. Uh,
00:39:34
Speaker
because yeah But it'd be a shame to see Phil go. I could see that not doing well with test audiences. yeah Everybody would be like, you can't kill off Phil. No. He's the coolest one.
00:39:46
Speaker
ah rick Rick has just the thing, though. He proposes to Ray that the two of them try to meet women by getting hit by cars that are being driven by beautiful women.
00:39:57
Speaker
Mm-hmm. Ray insists that he's in a committed relationship and wishes Rick the best of luck in his solo mission. He's now a lone wolf instead of a home dog. What a world. Yeah.
00:40:11
Speaker
Then we have a lot of people's favorite scene in the movie.
00:40:19
Speaker
One of my favorite scenes in the movie, the scene where Tina tells her father that she's pregnant. Papa only appears in this scene. And only in close up. Yeah.
00:40:29
Speaker
Smoking a pipe. A fairly old black man. i want to say at least in his late 60s. Sure. And just really clipped delivery of all his lines. Because as soon as he finds out that Tina's pregnant, he's like, you're getting an abortion.
00:40:49
Speaker
You are aborting. and it's so intense. Yeah. And he's so mean. He's like, ruined my life.
00:41:00
Speaker
You screwed me as an embryo and now you're trying to screw me as an adult. But in his defense, he did just find out that his daughter is pregnant with John, her abusive boyfriend's baby, but she's going to now drop out of college so that she can move in with Ray, the rapping martial arts master.
00:41:23
Speaker
This is, if my daughter said that, I'd be like, all right, okay, I guess. I guess that's what's happening. Yeah, that's that's your life now. You're Miss MC Kung Fu.
00:41:36
Speaker
So now I'm not at least having to pay for the tuition anymore. There's that. Areva Dirci. ah Papa kicks her out of the house. And then she goes and she tells Ray that she's now pregnant and homeless.
00:41:51
Speaker
And Ray steps up and proposes.
00:41:57
Speaker
We then find out. Oh, sorry. When John finds out that Ray and Tina are engaged, we have a lot of people's other favorite scene in the movie. I mean, every scene is so good, but.
00:42:10
Speaker
Like we always say, it's so good when a movie keeps on coming up with new ways to surprise you, new ways to be crazy. And City Dragon has that in spades. It does not stop.
00:42:21
Speaker
John works in ah the kitchen of a restaurant with a gay guy named Queen Mary and some sort of, I'm guessing, Mexican busboy and boss that comes over and the boss starts yelling at him.
00:42:36
Speaker
And then he fires him. And... John says, I can't be fired by a dead man and kills his boss and kills the bus boy and drowns Queen Mary, the gay dishwasher who calls him a butch.
00:42:53
Speaker
And everybody loves Queen Mary, the gay representation that city dragon needed.
00:43:00
Speaker
ah think he had a line. ah You're fired. I'm flaming and you're fired. yeah i mean, great stuff.
00:43:10
Speaker
Uh, now he instantly gets arrested by mall security. Another great new character. That's only in this one scene. And I love that. He's, I love he's, he's like, where do you want it in the ass or the leg? Cause he's got a gun and he's like, I'm going to, can't, I can't shoot you lethally, but I will shoot your legs. I will shoot your legs. If I have to give me a reason to shoot your legs.
00:43:35
Speaker
This is the best day of my life. i would love to. ah So after John gets arrested, a British judge sentences him to a mental institution.
00:43:47
Speaker
And that courtroom scene is just a camera slowly closing in on John in a nondescript space. Yeah, it's a great way to, I mean, i don't think you needed it. I think you could have gotten him arrested and then shown him in a, you know, mental asylum. You probably could have skipped this, yeah but, you know.
00:44:08
Speaker
and this man Then we would have lost the Australian judge. That's true. And this may be the scene where we do the other, like, off-camera reading the line. Yeah, yeah, that sounds absolutely right. um now it's not all bad news city dragon fans ray and tina they get married and then they have a little love montage where they go and they goof around on a playground and then ray pulls tina aside and says that it is a present for her and the present is a song that he wrote the song goes like this look look
00:44:42
Speaker
up in the sky who do i see with the brown pretty eyes tina tina the lovely ass combina such a fly attitude that i really had to meet her i saw you in the park kind of sad and adoring i knew when i saw you that our match would not be boring love yes i love my sweet lovely tina No, we're on earth that I would rather been alive and full of life is the way you make me feel a charm and good looks my sweet, lovely Tina.
00:45:15
Speaker
Bimbo champs and sluts my life. It had no meaning until that day in the park. When I met my African queen. I love you more than anything, Tina.
00:45:27
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, That's a baseball bat to the face. Come on. Yeah. That's incredible.
00:45:38
Speaker
It's also great that like all of the words rhyme because he added an, uh, to the end of them. That's not there. It's great. Yes. He really is not very good at writing rap.
00:45:51
Speaker
Yeah. I gotta to say it. I gotta say it. He's no he's not, beat at it he's not, he's not that he's not his best skill. It's not his best skill. He's more of a martial artist. Yeah.
00:46:03
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Not everyone is a triple threat. We can't all be actor, fighter, rapper. Not everybody's a Chris Anderson type.
00:46:15
Speaker
No. Obviously now after hearing that, they're more in love than ever. ah Ray goes out to pick up an ice cream cone to satisfy Tina's pregnancy cravings, only to be attacked by another random group of street thugs who smashed the ice cream cone.
00:46:31
Speaker
And they do that because he's there, I think. Yeah, because, oh they're like, oh, he's got an ice cream cone? Get him! that's That's Los Angeles.
00:46:42
Speaker
That's the world of City Dragon. Now, things are going great for Ray and Tina at home at this point. But at work, Ray runs into trouble.
00:46:54
Speaker
seems his new boss, Renee, wants to fuck him. yeah She wants to fuck him so bad that a comedic horn sound effect plays as she looks at his dick. think It sounds like this.
00:47:10
Speaker
I love that sound so much. That's staying on the sound. That's not going anything. So what I love about this is ah ah the, I showed this movie to my friend Grant who was on previously with Neil Breen for our podcast.
00:47:27
Speaker
And I forgot that that sound is in there. I've seen the movie two or three times. And when that happened, it was just so flabbergasting at the time. And I was like, finally, I'm going to remember that this trumpet sound is in there. I'm going to remember that this trumpet sound is in there. And I did, but I did forget that it's in there two additional times.
00:47:45
Speaker
Yeah. It is so hard to remember all of the things that are in this movie. It's so dense. What were you about to say, my heart? Oh, I was going to say that da there have been no sound effects of this type before. no Yeah.
00:48:03
Speaker
So it really comes out of nowhere. Very much so. Very much so. It's so late in the film to be introducing a new storytelling technique like that. Something so jarring.
00:48:16
Speaker
It's ah wonderful moment. Now she gives them, she gives Ray 24 hours to fuck her.
00:48:26
Speaker
Now, the next time we see them together, they already appear to be regularly doing the nasty. So it looks like Ray went for the deal. It's weird that they don't have the first time that they have sex together as one of the scenes.
00:48:39
Speaker
You do the math. Yeah. It just, they glide over that. It's weird what this movie chooses to include and what it chooses. Yes. Yes. Like it didn't show the wedding. It just showed Ray bringing Tina home.
00:48:52
Speaker
Doesn't show the trial. It just shows the closeup on John's face. Now, while, ah meanwhile, John is in his insane asylum and he swears revenge on Ray.
00:49:07
Speaker
He says, just remember, Ray, life may seem a bowl of cherries, but payback's a motherfucking bitch. That's all of those things are true, I guess.
00:49:22
Speaker
What a line. It's a very quotable movie. yeah Yes. The dialogue is just so fantastic. The long hours Ray has been putting into the office fucking his boss have really been taking a toll on his marriage.
00:49:38
Speaker
He tries to talk to Rick about it over a game of one-on-one, but as you might expect, ray doesn't really ah Rick doesn't really see what the problem is.
00:49:48
Speaker
sounds Sounds great. Good for you. ah Now, Tina, she finally has enough with the sort of neglect and ah marital turmoil. And so she heads down to Ray's office late one night to investigate and catches Ray walking into Renee's office shirtless.
00:50:06
Speaker
Which is ah funny thing to do, to be like, I guess I need to go into the boss's office and fuck her. Time to take my shirt off.
00:50:16
Speaker
You mean I have to take my shirt off? Oh, boy. That's Ray. ah Now, Renee, she spills the beans about their fucking... Tina leaves Ray, and Ray quits his job.
00:50:32
Speaker
Things are looking up for Rick, though. Not everything's going bad for old Rick. Hey. Hey. It seems like Cherry. Remember Cherry from the first 15 minutes of the film? So I can't lie. Every time she's reintroduced in the movie, I'm always like, who is this?
00:50:46
Speaker
Fair enough. Yeah, she is. She is strange. She has a very strange, sexy baby voice. No, She's great. She's great. But just these two, it's like Vicky and Cherry were in this prior.
00:51:02
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah.
00:51:05
Speaker
And Vicky, you can tell, is the real, like, they had to add someone on for Phil. And so Vicky is the thinnest of the three, I feel like. Yeah. Now, ah let's see. today So, Cherry, she's become a successful actress.
00:51:19
Speaker
And she's visiting l L.A., where she doesn't live as a successful actress for some reason. i don't know what what's going on there. She moved out of the city. Yeah. Oh, fair enough. Yeah. She's like, I'm living in Wyoming now.
00:51:31
Speaker
I have a little space upstate. ah So Rick, he's going to make the move on her while she's at a signing event at a video store.
00:51:42
Speaker
And I love any time there's scene in a video store in the movie because you can just look behind the characters and pick out all the boxes. Yeah. I saw up there Star Wars, Freddy's Dead, Star Six, Dark Man, Highlander.
00:52:01
Speaker
lot a dark man highlander but Yeah, they're in the horror section. Yeah, horror and sci-fi, I think. So, listeners, take some extra time to luxuriate in this fantastic video store scene. It's wonderful.
00:52:17
Speaker
ah She promises, Sherry, that is, promises to meet up with Rick at a park later that night. ah But then she shows up with gun and makes Rick strip nude and walk out into a pond while Vicky takes pictures with her Nikon.
00:52:34
Speaker
And she should use a flash, but she doesn't. But it's neither here there. It's neither here nor there. You do get to see Rick's white boy butt. There you go Good for you, Rick. A little BN. Get a little BN in there.
00:52:49
Speaker
Can't complain. What's good for the goose? It's good for the ducks. Yeah. ah Time continues to pass. Ray gets into a fight with a guy after bumping into him and making him drop his soda.
00:53:05
Speaker
John says that he's seeing spiders so that his doctor will agree to get him an um MRI while lying down next to him on a bed.
00:53:16
Speaker
Filthy Phil pops up wearing a snazzy new eye patch once again with the nautical theme. Classic Phil. Yep. And he announces that he's leaving for Atlanta to cut a new record with Raw Bone Records.
00:53:30
Speaker
I did try to find out if Raw Bone Records was real. The only Raw Bone Records I could find was a country western label. That was much later, I think. Rick introduces Ray to a beautiful woman that he refers to as Jalapeno Helen with the big ripe melons.
00:53:49
Speaker
But Ray tells them both that he's still trying to reconcile with Tina. my My favorite line in the whole thing is just like, I regret what I've done and I want my wife back.
00:54:01
Speaker
Yeah. It's just, it's a good line. Yeah. With Rick, you really need to spell it out. You really need to make it as clear as possible. And that's what he's doing. Then we have another fan favorite scene.
00:54:15
Speaker
Yes. Which is when John's brother Jack shows up with a gang of French Canadians to beat up Ray at his martial arts studio.
00:54:26
Speaker
Jack introduces himself by saying, Hey, punk, I'm John's brother Jack, the one you stole his girl from. Yeah. A sentence which I rolled over in my mind for like a month after I watched this for the first time.
00:54:44
Speaker
So grammatically strange. Yes. Then French Canadian with a ponytail sticking out of the hole of his baseball cap and wearing a Superman shirt.
00:54:57
Speaker
Makes fun of Bruce Lee. He says specifically, hang on. If ah ah Bruce we was alive today, he'd be sucking on my big old shlong like a lollipop.
00:55:13
Speaker
And then ah Ray Whip kicks him in the face. And then basically reenacts a fight scene from Enter the Dragon, just sort of shot for shot or at least move for move.
00:55:26
Speaker
And then at the end says, that one was for you, Bruce. You'll always be the king of Kung Fu. Great scene. It's pretty cool. Yeah. It's a fun scene. It's really cool.
00:55:39
Speaker
Later, Ray is looking at a photo of Tina and reminiscing when Rick pops by with an exciting new scheme. But this time his scheme is to win back Tina. All they have to do is get filthy to play a love song dedicated to Tina on his radio show, which he apparently has now.
00:55:59
Speaker
He does do that. And it's a song chemistry, chemistry. And Tina hears it and instantly goes into labor from how, Romantic notes.
00:56:10
Speaker
Chemistry. Talking about chemistry. Chemistry. Talking about you and me. Fantastic song. Another thing that will just roll around my head from yeah time to time.
00:56:25
Speaker
Now, while Tina is in labor, John, coincidentally, is getting his um MRI at the exact same hospital. That's convenient. it's It's almost like it was meant to be. It's the fates. Right. Yeah, it's wonderful.
00:56:40
Speaker
Uh, now he's able to take advantage of the hospital's lax security to head, but his doctor and steal his clothes and escape. But as he's leaving, he happens to spy Tina in the lobby, holding her newborn child in her arms and calling for someone to come pick her up on the pay phone.
00:57:01
Speaker
Tina's like, ah, I'll figure something out. I also like that her line is like, yeah, I'm here already. It's like at the hospital. Yeah, that makes sense. You had a baby. oh Now, John asks if he can hold the baby while he's disguised as a doctor. And Tina's like, yeah, yeah, go for it I need to get something for my bag. And then she just walks away. Classic new mom problem.
00:57:27
Speaker
This baby would have been born. going to say hours ago. if ah we're supposed to believe this. Yeah, it is important to remember, too, that the whole movie takes place within a normal human gestation period.
00:57:41
Speaker
Or not much longer. Yeah, that's actually a fair point. This is a nine-month film. It's a big year. They should have called it Nine Months of the City Dragon. Ooh.
00:57:54
Speaker
ah Now, John reveals his true identity, and he runs off with baby Ray Ray to the roof. Now, another coincidence, Ray just happens to be showing up at the hospital just when his wife was leaving with their newborn son.
00:58:09
Speaker
Just a little bit late. and He's got flowers, though. he brought He brought a little basket of flowers. I will give him that. He chases John up to the roof, where John threatens to throw Ray Ray off the roof.
00:58:23
Speaker
But then he puts him down because he wants to fight Ray. And they fight and fight. They fight on a billboard. They climb back down off the billboard. And then Ray basically punches John in the back.
00:58:37
Speaker
And John falls over the railing off the roof to his death. and Ray bruna reunites with Tina and Ray Ray. And then the credits roll. The movie ends very quickly.
00:58:48
Speaker
Yeah. Very suddenly. Yeah. um Perfectly, I would say. Sure. With that... Final thoughts. Five-star ratings. Where do people land on City Dragon?
00:59:01
Speaker
It's hard to summarize. Yeah. I could start.
Final Thoughts and Ratings
00:59:06
Speaker
I'll kick us off. It was my pick. And I am going to say that I gave this, in terms of watchability, five stars.
00:59:14
Speaker
this is a very digestible film. It's a very funny film. It's very quick. Something's always happening. Something's always keeping you engaged, but also if you miss something, it doesn't matter because the movie just keeps rolling, you know, and it's, uh, constantly surprising.
00:59:32
Speaker
It's action packed. The action I think is, actually reasonably engaging like we were talking about this is just a high water mark this is if you like cheesy so bad it's good quote unquote action movies this is a home run for you you've got to watch this one for weirdness i gave this one four stars just because it's such an onslaught of strange decisions sort of large and small on every scale that it really is sort of dizzying uh it's just so bizarre
01:00:06
Speaker
Greg, what about you? So I was really torn on a lot of my ratings on these things. I think for watchability, I'm going to go with a four. I think it is very watchable. It's going to be a lot more watchable with a group, but in all honesty, on your own, in the right mindset, you're going to have a good time with it if this is your if this is your bag.
01:00:27
Speaker
It does have a lot of um terrible gender relationships, some homophobia, and a few other weird racist things. So it's like it's got some... you have to be willing to overlook some stuff, but typically when you're a bad movie person, you're overlooking a lot of things. And this is not the the biggest ask of people.
01:00:47
Speaker
And I wouldn't say there's anything like really grossly offensive in this. um So I'm going to say four for watchability weirdness. I was really torn Because when I have the context that it's a play, it gives it a little more reasoning for some of the decision making as far as the like some of the things I'm like, why did you do this? It's like, well, it would make sense to do that on a stage yeah if you were maybe not the best stage writer or like coming at this for the first time.
01:01:19
Speaker
You know, ah so I think I'm to go three and a half, but I'm I want to kind of go for it's it's ah it's tough because, yes, it is a bizarre, just constant onslaught of just new.
01:01:33
Speaker
Just like, why are we doing this now in addition to everything else we've done before? It's ah you know, what I think I am going go with a four, actually. Fair enough. Anna, where did you land my heart?
01:01:45
Speaker
um I think I would but agree with Greg that it's a four and a four. um Yeah, I think this deserves like as much of a reputation for a um bad martial arts movie with music in it as a Miami connection. Yeah. Um, which, which got, uh, picked up by, I don't remember.
01:02:12
Speaker
it's much more well known. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. so But I think this, uh, this is a similar, very, it it's, it's very homemade. Yeah. Yeah.
01:02:25
Speaker
yeah You can see the strings. Yeah, it definitely reminds me of movies people were trying to make while I was in film school and like not making. They figured out how to make it. Yeah.
01:02:37
Speaker
Right. Say what you want. Filthy Phil and Standerane, they made movie. Mm-hmm. Well, do you guys want to get into the last segment of the show? Yeah.
01:02:48
Speaker
Yes. All right. Then I hope you guys are ready to go on a little bit of a tangent. Ooh. Yeah.
01:02:57
Speaker
Sure, the movie's the main event. But that's not the case with this segment. No need to be sad lament.
01:03:10
Speaker
Because we're going on a tangent.
01:03:16
Speaker
Yeah, that's the name of this segment.
01:03:45
Speaker
so i mentioned earlier that stan doraine directed one feature film himself called kung fu assassins But the good news for all the MC Kung Fu fans out there is that he's currently directing another film and it's in post-production.
01:04:00
Speaker
The bad news is that it looks like it's been in post-production for at least two years. Here's what I could find out about it. In 2018, Stan Durant launched an Indiegogo for a film called wait no War of the Dragons.
01:04:17
Speaker
It was going to be a superhero film about an international team of heroes and heroines teaming up to stop supervillain named Jack, who was an evil clown armed with a pair of Eskrima sticks, who was, quote, determined to destroy all the beautiful ladies in his past that broke his heart, unquote.
01:04:38
Speaker
Wow. Oh. Yeah. Jack was to be played by Brian Faustino. Other signed stars allegedly signed on board included m MMA legend Tito Ortiz, the star of the movie The Last Dragon, Tiamak.
01:04:55
Speaker
Obviously, you're going to have Stan Duran himself in there. Also, Kato Kaelin. Everybody loves him. And at the very least, by my count, 10 very busty women.
01:05:10
Speaker
yeahp Now, despite raising ah zero of the $400,000 budget, ah production went ahead eventually. Between 2018 and 2022, at some point, several stars dropped out and the title was changed to the impossible to understand, but very easy to Google, Do Funk Superheroes.
01:05:33
Speaker
That's D-U space F-F-U-N-K space superheroes. hmm maybe some kind of welsh co-production that would be incredible that would be incredibledible yeah well we know that there was german money in city dragon because we saw that there was a gmbh in the open oh yeah yeah yeah yeah so who knows what kind of international financing standarane can cook up
01:06:04
Speaker
But yeah, I found an ad in Backstage Magazine looking for talent ages 21 through 75 to shoot in the l LA area in January and February 2022. The pay range $150 to $200. the pay range a hundred and fifty to two hundred dollars no union
01:06:20
Speaker
You can find some footage and behind the scenes photographs on Doreen's Instagram, as well as some behind the scenes of recording music with Mr. Fox, Leo Fox, who did produce a lot of the songs for City Dragon.
01:06:37
Speaker
Hopefully it'll be completed soon. if it is, you know, I'm going to be tracking it down. Yeah. With that, are you guys ready to play ah game? oh yes. Yes.
01:06:49
Speaker
Yes. All right. We're going to play a little bit of strange line currencies.
01:07:06
Speaker
I don't know what you mean to me. When you said those words, you said,
01:07:20
Speaker
And I don't know why you said that thing. Well, I need you to fill in the word, fill in the line, fill in the blank.
01:07:36
Speaker
These words.
01:07:41
Speaker
They are not mine. These words. They are lines from the film.
01:08:01
Speaker
So these questions are all going to be lines from City Dragon.
01:08:07
Speaker
They're fact all lines from our hero, Ray. And what I've done is i have left a word blank in them. i would like you to buzz in by saying your own name and ideally say the whole line in your best Ray impression.
01:08:24
Speaker
Okay.
01:08:27
Speaker
Does anybody have any questions? Your opponent will have the chance to steal if you get it. Okay. All right. Here we go. Question number one.
01:08:38
Speaker
Why are you dissing me when you should be kissing me? Why you gotta to be blank? Greg. Greg? Why you dissing me when you should be kissing me?
01:08:49
Speaker
Why you gotta be stuck up?
01:08:53
Speaker
That's correct. Greg's on the board. a line I say to myself often, but not to anybody else. Yeah, you should be kissing yourself. that That would be beneficial.
01:09:06
Speaker
Yeah. Question number two. They call me blank because I have a knack for mixing with sugar, and that combination makes for a very long night.
01:09:20
Speaker
Anna. Anna? They call me cream. Cream. Because I have a reputation for mixing with sugar, and that combination makes for a long night.
01:09:37
Speaker
That is correct, my love. Sorry for getting mixed up between sugar and cream. and It's easy to do. It's easy do. save yourself at the last minute. All right. Question number three.
01:09:50
Speaker
Oh, baby. What can I say? ray loves the blank of blank.
01:09:59
Speaker
Anna. Anna. Oh, baby. What can I say? ray loves the look of lingerie.
01:10:09
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He rhymed Ray in lingerie. It only makes that. And he loves the look of lingerie. Okay. Question number four.
01:10:24
Speaker
I get what I get through flattery and bullshit. Blank, blank.
01:10:32
Speaker
Oh. I remember watching this yesterday and thinking like, yeah, that thing. Oh.
01:10:42
Speaker
Five, four, three, two, one. What do we call? I get what I get through flattery and bullshit.
01:10:54
Speaker
Just kidding. yeah.
01:11:00
Speaker
Question number five. More like the three muffketeers, I've learned to breathe through my blank and go down for the count.
01:11:13
Speaker
Anna. Anna?
01:11:17
Speaker
More like the three muffketeers. I've learned to breathe through my ears and go down for the count. You've got it, my baby. Okay.
01:11:28
Speaker
You've got it, my baby. Question number six. The score is three to one. Greg, you're still in it. Yeah, sure. I believe in you.
01:11:39
Speaker
I hope your sheets are clean and blank because honey, it's time for us to blank.
01:11:52
Speaker
There's so many things I'm coming up with that are just gross. I mean, it might be right. Buzz in. Anna. I hope your sheets are clean and neat because it's time for us to sweat.
01:12:07
Speaker
Very close. Very close. Yeah.
01:12:13
Speaker
clean and pressed because it's time for us to sweat that doesn't make no i'm sorry that one was i hope your sheets are clean and set because honey it's time for us to sweat yeah so this normal this is a thing a man would say in a bedroom situation yeah that's that saying that we all say That's right. There's plenty game we left to play. Question number ah seven.
01:12:44
Speaker
Check you out. B-B-S-O-H. Blank, blank, black black blank, blank, blank. Shit. You remind me of me. ah Greg.
01:12:58
Speaker
Greg? yeah I can't remember all of it. Oh, look at you. B-B-S-O-H. ah Brains, bodies, sense of humor. You've got, et cetera, et cetera.
01:13:12
Speaker
no I'm sorry, Gray. Gosh. Okay, hang on. I should be using this noise. Yes, you should be. That's going be the new wrong answer noise. I'm so happy. Gray's beauty sense of humor?
01:13:29
Speaker
Beauty balls and a sense of humor. Man. Shit, you remind me of me. All right, question number eight. I don't want to rock the blank.
01:13:44
Speaker
I want to rock the blank. I'll give you a hint. They don't rhyme.
01:13:54
Speaker
Oh, and Anna, Anna. I don't want to rock the boat. I want to rock the bed. yes No, that's yeah. That's classic. There's a lot of this movie in my head.
01:14:10
Speaker
right. Question number nine.
01:14:13
Speaker
Love made me blank. I see chemistry in your blank.
01:14:21
Speaker
Love made
01:14:26
Speaker
me. Anna. Anna. Love made me wise. I see chemistry in your eyes. You've got it. Yeah.
01:14:38
Speaker
Congratulations, Anna. You're the big wiener this week. Thank you. Talking about chemistry. chemistry co and It's the Batty Awards.
01:14:58
Speaker
Now you're messing with me. Congratulations to all the nominees!
01:15:22
Speaker
That's right. Congratulations to all our nominees. You all got nominated for Batty Awards. It's the only award that is awarded by us on the show.
01:15:36
Speaker
Yay. There you go. where I found it. Who wants to go first? I can go. Hooray. So I was first going to give my baddie award to like this portrait of a jurist or a judge that's in the room when they pan out and he's reading the note, but I found something that topped it.
01:15:58
Speaker
um and that is during the scene in which the group of men come to threaten Ray, the first or the third man who threatens him, they do like a close-up of him, and you can just see like the top of his shirt, and it just says, genuine Mickey Mouse, and it's so hard to take that threat seriously. like It's just like, you had to wear a different shirt, or you had to just pick a different asshole to read that line. like There's no way...
01:16:26
Speaker
Can we get him to turn that inside out? Yeah, just wear it backwards. Just for, just yeah, just for the... So ridiculous. I love it so much. Fantastic.
01:16:36
Speaker
Fantastic. Anna, do you have a Batty Award? Yeah, we talked about Ray's wardrobe, but ah I wanted to mention the outfit that Tina is introduced wearing is completely unhinged. It's long-sleeved off the shoulder, cropped white blouse under like a brown vest. And the vest I think is connected to like garters, but um ah that they go under denim shorts.
01:17:13
Speaker
And then she has like colorful pattern tights being held up by the garters, I think. Yeah. And it's just, it's a lot of look.
01:17:25
Speaker
Yeah. yeah Yeah. 100%. It's, it's maximalist in the classic nineties way. I'm going to give my baddie award, my baddie award to ah this noise that Rick makes.
01:17:44
Speaker
Yeah. That's a noise that Rick makes as a euphemism for an orgasm. That's so gross. And he does it frequently too. He does it at least, at least I'm going to say two times, possibly three or four.
01:18:01
Speaker
It's terrible. Yeah. It's classic Rick. Thank you so much for listening, everybody. Make sure that you come back next week. We're going to be talking about Anna's pick picture. Perfect.
01:18:15
Speaker
Yes. A movie that you described to me earlier today as perfectly mid? Well, I suspect. I haven't seen it since the year it came out, but I have zero memory of it, so I suspect that it's aggressively... ah ah mid and I'm interested in exploring that space.
01:18:36
Speaker
You know what I mean? We've been bringing a lot of heavy hitters. This will be a nice palate cleanse. Yeah. Yeah. What makes a movie totally unmemorable? Yeah. Well,
01:18:47
Speaker
We'll find out and you'll find out with us next week. And in the meantime, if you want to come watch these movies with us or watch other stuff that we're watching, you can come join the discord or you can find us on blue sky or Instagram. if you want to keep abreast of what's going on things that we're doing shows, we got coming down the pike.
01:19:06
Speaker
And if you want to email us, you can email us at favorite bad movie pod. and if you want to do is just a favor. If you want to be our number one fan of the week, you can give us that five stars.
01:19:20
Speaker
You can give us a comment that says, Hey, thanks for podcasting. Cause you know what? Thank you for listening. And I hope yeah that you come back next week. And until then be good.
01:19:35
Speaker
Goodbye. Get ready to listen in this entire MC Kung Fu song. Goodbye. Goodbye.
01:19:47
Speaker
so ever seen
01:19:52
Speaker
chiling ghost let me explain what watermelon so
01:20:01
Speaker
can't be smart she must be back in at least to see
01:20:08
Speaker
Yeah. This is crazy.
01:20:31
Speaker
what like chicken je
01:20:37
Speaker
This is 2007. Wow. No, no, no.
01:20:47
Speaker
yeah water melon Yeah. Yeah. Watermelons. I know some girls are disgusted with me. Thinking I'm a nasty dog. But girls, wait a second. Let's be for real.
01:20:59
Speaker
Especially girls with looks to kill. Why you spend hundreds on your looks? Clothes, makeup, shoes, and beauty books. Aerobics, gyms, and exercise classes.
01:21:09
Speaker
Up to date. Ninest fashions. Plastic surgery. Silicone implants. Minis. High heels and high pants. T-strings, wigs, tummy touch. Suck the fat out of your butt.
01:21:22
Speaker
Whether under the knife or all natural. ra Watermelons make fellas fall. I was in the mirror. Yeah, yeah. What are you fearing? Yeah, yeah.
01:21:32
Speaker
Busting out with cleavage galore. Face it, baby, you wanna be a door.
01:21:41
Speaker
I've ever seen. Black jiggling jello. Girls, can't you see? It's hard to call this a song, I feel like.
01:21:52
Speaker
They needed to spend a little more time in the lab on this one. Yeah.
01:22:02
Speaker
What if there was another verse though? Maybe.
01:22:21
Speaker
lean stopping traffic like you've never seen that's all female body parts who will finish and who will start okay fellas you all have voted to want the wrong you are voted unanimous decision you all must learn watermelons kicks them all to the curb the most beautiful things i've ever seen
01:22:47
Speaker
Jiggling jello, girls, can't you see? Dumballons Makes an ugly girl a beauty queen Christ Dumballons
01:23:00
Speaker
Yeah So he didn't have a lot of actresses The most beautiful things I've ever seen No, I can't imagine Jiggling jello, girls, can't you see?
01:23:11
Speaker
big divorce interview Makes an ugly girl a beauty queen
01:23:26
Speaker
Wowee.