Transcript
Speaker: Welcome back to the Rewired podcast, where I, Gianna Badoa, drop weekly episodes on the power of your subconscious mind in entrepreneurship, life, and relationships, and how you can use your subconscious mind to unlock your full potential.
Speaker: Let's dive in. This episode is sponsored by the Rewired app. Get your 30-day free trial in the show notes below.
Speaker: All right, welcome back. In this episode, we're going to talk about the perfectionist wound and how you can heal your perfectionism and start choosing presence over perfection in literally every area of your life.
Speaker: My name is Gianna Badeau. I'm a 101 coach, certified hypnotherapist, meditation teacher, and guide. And if you'd love deeper support beyond this episode, make sure you grab access to the Rewired Meditations linked In the notes below, there's over 50 meditations and subconscious activations created to support you in tapping into the deeper levels of yourself, tapping into your subconscious mind, the part of you that creates your reality, the blueprint of you. So to shift or change any area of your life, it starts with rewiring at the subconscious level.
Speaker: of your mind so you can grab access to those beautiful audio recordings in the notes below. And if you'd love some customized one-on-one support, you can apply to work with me one-on-one using the application in the notes below as well.
Speaker: All right, let's dive in. How to heal your perfectionist wound. Now, first and foremost, many of you don't even realize that you have a perfectionist wound.
Speaker: A perfectionist wound can actually be really elusive. It can be masked and disguised as this drive to get things done right, to have things look a certain way, to be successful, to achieve more.
Speaker: So you may not actually even realize that you have this perfectionist wound because to you, you just want things done right. You just want things done perfect. But underneath it all, there is this deeper part of you who is suffering, who is stressed, who is anxious twenty four seven trying to do things perfectly.
Speaker: Trying to get things right all of the time. And this perfectionist wound has been ingrained in you since you were a little kid, which is why the subconscious mind plays such a big role in rewiring and reprogramming the perfectionist wound.
Speaker: You have a perfectionist wound likely because of something that you went through as a child, or perhaps something you saw or were told growing up by the adult figures around you likely your parents or your teachers or anyone who was influential in your life.
Speaker: Now the reality is that to rewire your perfectionist wound, you have to go deep within yourself and you have to allow yourself to admit you are a perfectionist.
Speaker: And a lot of you again, don't even realize you have this because it's unconscious, it's elusive and it's unconscious and elusive because it's been literally hardwired and programmed into who you are since you were a child.
Speaker: It has become the way that you operate in your life, in your business, as a parent, as a spouse, as a partner. It has become the way that you operate in the world. And some of you may actually know you're a perfectionist and you may think it's a wonderful thing. I get things done right. i hold myself to a certain standard. and And while you should always strive to get things done right and you should always hold yourself to a higher standard in all areas of your life,
Speaker: If your standards are actually making you stressed, anxious, and sick and burnt out, your standards are too high. Your standards are actually doing the opposite.
Speaker: They are not supporting your growth and evolution. They are actually making you sick, They are actually making you stressed. They are actually exhausting you and burning you out.
Speaker: And if you are exhausted, stressed, and burnt out, what kind of quality of life are you actually having in the name of, you know, doing things perfectly?
Speaker: Now this perfectionist wound again runs deep. Some of you know you are a perfectionist. Some of you have no idea that you are actually a perfectionist. You may be unconsciously just believing that you like to get things done right.
Speaker: Whatever the case may be, if your pursuit of getting things done right is stressing you out, making you anxious, burning you out, exhausting you to the point where you're not actually enjoying the work you're doing, you're not actually enjoying your relationships, you're not actually enjoying motherhood, being a parent, then your perfectionism is not a healthy perfectionism.
Speaker: On the other hand, if your perfectionism doesn't burn you out, doesn't stress you out, doesn't make you anxious, you feel really good all the time, Then maybe your perfectionism really isn't a problem for you.
Speaker: But the truth is, perfection is a lie. Perfection is an illusion. There is quite literally no way to get things done perfectly all of the time.
Speaker: perfectionism is an illusion perfectionism drives us insane perfectionism causes us to struggle mentally physically emotionally and so to heal this wound you have to understand where did this perfectionism wound come from for me how did i become a perfectionist where did i get it from Who gave this to me? right Who passed on this perfectionist programming to me?
Speaker: Now for me, I've been a perfectionist my whole entire life. So I can speak to this all day every day. And my perfectionism got me into a very, very terrible relationship with my body.
Speaker: It's caused me to hold back in my business it's cost me a lot of years of growth in my business being a perfectionist it's cost me a lot of money in healing work trying to overcome my need to be perfect to look perfect to do everything perfect I struggled with my body image, with an eating disorder, with actually being able to get my business off the ground for years because i wasn't doing things perfect enough, because I didn't look perfect enough.
Speaker: Perfectionism made me insane. Perfectionism made me very sick. spiritually, emotionally, mentally. And i was one of those people who did not realize I was a perfectionist.
Speaker: I just had these standards. This is how I want to look. This is how I want to be. This is how I want to run my business. This is how I want to launch this program. This is how this should look. This is how that should look.
Speaker: This is how this relationship should be. And when you're constantly holding people to these standards of perfectionism, you also cause issues in your relationships. I went through that too.
Speaker: Perfectionism literally flooded into every area of my life, and I did not even realize that I was struggling with it. I just thought this is how I am.
Speaker: This is how I get things done. I like things done perfect. Everything about my life needs to look perfect. I need to feel perfect. And i was never fulfilled.
Speaker: I was never actually getting things done because nothing ever gets done perfect. You never actually are perfect. And so this pursuit of perfectionism, it's a losing game.
Speaker: And I didn't realize that for many, many years. So I've spent many years, too many years as a perfectionist running in circles, not getting things done, doing the same things over and over and over again, expecting a different result.
Speaker: It was painful. It was exhausting. And it wasn't until I started doing this deep subconscious work that I realized I was a perfectionist or I could admit to myself, hey,
Speaker: You're a perfectionist and it's driving you insane. And this is actually a losing game for you. You're never actually going to feel perfect. You're never actually going to get things done perfect enough to feel like you can launch this program, launch this business, launch this podcast, launch YouTube.
Speaker: Right? So I spent years wanting to do things that I could never actually get off the ground because i was never able to feel like I was doing them perfectly. So I would procrastinate, right? So perfectionism leads to procrastination. And when that happens, you may even start beating yourself up even worse.
Speaker: Right. Why am I so lazy? Why am I not getting things done? Then you start feeling guilty because you're not getting enough done. You're not looking the way you want to look. You're not showing up the way you want to show up in your relationships.
Speaker: And so it becomes this really vicious cycle where you're trying to be perfect. You're not succeeding at that goal. And then you start feeling guilty because you're not getting things done. You're not achieving the things you want to achieve. Right.
Speaker: So it's this vicious cycle that gets created when you are in this cycle of perfectionism. And not only does it mentally and emotionally wreck you as a human being, but it stunts your growth in business and quite literally in every area of your life. It also will affect your relationships.
Speaker: Because the way we show up in relationship is the way we see ourselves. So if you constantly feel that you need to be perfect, then you're going to look at your partner and say, hey, you need to be perfect. And when you're not perfect, you're going to disappoint me. You're going to make me angry. You're going to make me upset.
Speaker: And now we have problems. Same thing with your children. If you're holding yourself to a standard of perfectionism, you may not even realize that you're also holding your children to the same standard. You are continuing this cycle. You are giving your perfectionism to them.
Speaker: and they're going to repeat this perfectionist cycle and struggle in their own ways as they get older and become an adult if they're not already struggling with it right now already.
Speaker: So perfectionism is going to wreak havoc. So perfectionism is going to cause issues in quite literally every area of your life, your business, your relationships, in motherhood, everywhere.
Speaker: And so if your pursuit of being in relationship, of pursuing your dreams is causing you stress and anxiety, if you're not getting things off the ground, then you likely have a perfectionist wound. It was likely given to you by your parents. They likely didn't mean to give it to you. They just were passing down what was given to them.
Speaker: It's a generational cycle of perfectionism. And so you get to choose perfectionism. Does this cycle stop with me or am I going to pass it on to my children?
Speaker: So you get to choose today. Do I want to break the cycle of perfectionism in my bloodline? And that is the most important part of this work is breaking the cycle. It's not just about you.
Speaker: It's also about not passing this down to your children because they didn't ask for it. Just like you didn't ask for it But there's no need to hold blame and resentment towards your parents or anyone who influenced you to be a perfectionist because there's nothing you can do about the past.
Speaker: All you can do is shift and change the way you are showing up today. All you can do is be the one who says, hey, this stops with me. And so how do we break the perfectionist cycle?
Speaker: Well, first and foremost, lots of subconscious rewiring, because to break your perfectionist cycle, you have to rewire this at the subconscious level. It is a pattern. It is a part of you that has learned to operate this way.
Speaker: So it's an unlearning, it's a rewiring, it's an unlayering of a part of you who believes it needs to exist this way to survive in the world. So this is about helping this part of you feel safe, not being a perfectionist, being imperfect, getting things done imperfectly, showing up imperfectly, allowing yourself to feel safe being imperfect.
Speaker: And we do that through re wiring the subconscious because your subconscious mind is always trying to keep you safe. So if you can wire your subconscious to feel safe being imperfect, then you will start showing up in a way that allows you to be imperfect.
Speaker: Now, this doesn't mean you're going to ah show up sloppy in your work. You're going to ah fail in your relationships. It just means you're going to be more human. just means you're going to be able to be more of yourself.
Speaker: And you'll probably still do things amazing. In fact, you'll probably do things a lot better. Now, eliminating and rewiring and healing this perfectionist wound is also in a very big way about choosing presence over perfection.
Speaker: Because when you are in a state of presence, you are led by your soul and your soul will never lead you as a perfectionist. When you are leading from your ego, your ego will make you a perfectionist. So choosing presence over perfection means training your mind and body to be more present in your life.
Speaker: Because the more present you are in your life, the more aware you are going to be of these patterns, so of the thoughts. You'll have a perfectionist thought come up and you'll be able to notice it and say, hey, that's actually my perfectionist self. That's my ego.
Speaker: And I'm going to choose not to listen to my ego today because I know my soul is actually what needs to be in the driver's seat of my life. I know my soul is actually what leads me to my most fulfilled, happy, healthy life.
Speaker: So when we are present, we're able to actually tune into this intuitive sense of self that allows us to lead from your soul. so that you can live your life soul-led, not ego-led.
Speaker: The ego is going to lead you based on fear. Your soul is going to lead you based on intuition, based on what's actually right for you at a soul level.
Speaker: And so when you are tuned in into your soul, perfectionism is never going to be an issue. So how do we tune into the soul? How do we become more present so that we can actually choose more presence over perfectionism. Again, this is a rewiring because you have been trained to be led by your ego. You have been programmed to live in this fear-based mindset.
Speaker: And so to become more present and to start leading with your soul so you can lead with intuition, you can lead with love, you can lead with heart, you can feel more connected, more calm, more grounded,
Speaker: You have to train your mind to lead and live your life this way. And presence is your pathway to everything you want in your life. The more present you are, the more you're going to show up in your relationships with joy, peace, and happiness. The more present you are, the more grounded you're going to show up in your relationship with your family and your children.
Speaker: going to be able to make more deep, lasting memories, more fulfilling moments in your life because you're going to be actually there. So what does it actually mean to be present?
Speaker: It means you are all in on the present moment. You are all in on the way you are feeling in that moment. There is nothing outside of you in the future, in the past that is affecting you. You are here and now.
Speaker: You are living in the now. You are happy in the now You are sad in the now. You are whatever you need to be in the now. And you allow it. And you live it. You are living in the now.
Speaker: And this is a training. You have to train your mind to be present. And one of my favorite ways to very simply bring me back to the present moment is taking a deep breath.
Speaker: It sounds really simple because it is. Go outside, take a deep breath. It does not matter what the weather is. When you go outside and you breathe in fresh air, it's going to bring you back into your body. It's going to bring you back into the here and now.
Speaker: And the more you do that, the more you're going to train your mind to live this way. So a very simple way, again, go outside and take a deep breath or stop where you are, wherever you are, inside, outside, wherever.
Speaker: Breathe. Do it many, many times throughout your day. You may even find it helpful to set alarms in your phone to stop and pause and breathe. Taking a deep breath takes less than five seconds.
Speaker: It doesn't take up much of your day and it's going to actually support you in ways you never imagined possible. When you are present, you are going to do everything else better in your life. You are going to show up more fully, more wholly in your relationships, in your business,
Speaker: in your family, with your children. and you're here to be present. You're not here to live in the past or the future. There's nothing from the past or the future that is important right now.
Speaker: Nothing. The only thing that matters right now is the now, is the moment that you're in, is the words you are listening to, is what you are seeing around you in your experience right now.
Speaker: So really take that in. Most of you are living in the past or the future all day long, and you are missing out on your life, missing out on the present moment, lost in perfectionism, lost in your to-dos, lost in your stress, lost in your anxiety, lost in your chaos that you're actually creating for yourself by not being present.
Speaker: And you can choose calm You can choose presence by coming back into your body, by doing this deep subconscious rewiring to wire your brain to be present instead of perfectionist.
Speaker: Wiring your brain to be present instead of being a perfectionist. You can do this work by tapping into your subconscious mind. The rewired meditations are an incredible place to start. In fact, there is a beautiful 20 minute recording to help you eliminate perfectionism.
Speaker: And why is the subconscious such a powerful tool to use to help you rewire your perfectionism? Because again, to remind you, your perfectionism is hardwired into your subconscious. It is An unconscious pattern.
Speaker: It is something you don't even realize you're doing every day. So to rewire it, you can't just say, hey, I don't want to be a perfectionist anymore. You have to actually change it on a deep inner subconscious level. You have to reprogram it.
Speaker: And that's why the rewired meditations are so incredibly effective, especially when you're doing them every single day, because the more you tap into your subconscious, the more you're going to have control over your reality.
Speaker: Your subconscious controls your reality. So if you are intentionally dropping in and tapping into your subconscious, subconscious, then you are intentionally going to have the power to control how your day goes, to control the way you're feeling, to control what you're manifesting, what you're creating, all by tapping into your subconscious.
Speaker: So choosing presence over perfection starts with healing at the root, why you have this perfectionist wound, rewiring it, and also becoming more present in your body throughout your day, every day.
Speaker: Because the more present you are, the better you're going to show up in every area of your life, the better you're going to be able to self-lead yourself through your life in an aligned, grounded, calm state.
Speaker: And again, you're not led by the ego in this state. The ego is fear-based. Your soul is led by love. Your soul is led by truth, by presence.
Speaker: So leading with your soul means you are showing up as your the truest self in every area of your life. It means you are actually making decisions from this deep soul level place that is going to not only create a life that you love, but it's actually going to fulfill you, which means creating a life that feels as good as it looks, right? What are we doing if we're just creating lives that look good online?
Speaker: You need to feel it. Your life needs to feel as good as it looks on the outside. And that's what this work helps you do. feel as good as your life looks create a life that feels as good as it looks create a life beyond your wildest dreams by rewiring and reprogramming your subconscious for what is actually possible for you to create next level success to create a life a relationship money, abundance, all of it based on your subconscious programming, because your subconscious programming is what dictates it all.
Speaker: And again, this work is so important because what you are not healing, you're passing down to your children. You're passing down to your babies and you have to be the one that says, I'm breaking this cycle.
Speaker: This stops with me. I will not pass this on. And so when you make that decision, it actually makes this work even more powerful because it's not just about you.
Speaker: It's about the next generation. It's about this generation after that. When you heal yourself, you heal the next seven generations in your bloodline. And by healing this perfectionist wound, you're going to heal everyone in your family, your children, their children, and beyond.
Speaker: And so it's really powerful work. And you can start doing it again by tapping into your subconscious and becoming more grounded in your body. So there's lots for you to try on from this episode. I hope this serves you. And i really, from the bottom of my heart, as a former perfectionist myself, hope that you can find some peace in rewiring your subconscious and really do the work.
Speaker: Don't just say you're doing it or do it half-assed, really do it because this work will change your life. Speaking from ah again a, again, former perfectionist myself, I feel so much more free than I used to. I'm able to show up in my relationships without holding people in my life to these crazy expectations that just disappoint me and make me critical of them. I'm able to show up in my business and actually get things done because I don't need to be a perfectionist about it. I can just do it and put it out there and gain momentum and take action.
Speaker: And because I've healed my perfectionist wounds, I also have never felt better in my body. I love my body. I take care of my body better than anyone I know.
Speaker: Putting the highest quality food, drinking the best water, taking care of myself by moving my body every day, using non-toxic products on my body and in my body and in my home.
Speaker: This work has healed every area of my life. And I'm committed to supporting you and also helping it heal yourself. Because when we do this, again, it's not just about me. It's also about my children, my baby girl.
Speaker: i will not be passing this wound down to her. It's generational healing. That's what makes it even more important. So lots of tools for you to dive into. i hope this serves you. I hope you take it seriously because when you commit to yourself, there's no way you won't heal from this.
Speaker: So grab access to the tools in the notes below. And if you love this episode, make sure you subscribe and you hit that notification bell so you don't miss a single episode along this incredible journey.
Speaker: And I'll see you next time.
Speaker: Thank you for tuning in. I'd love to know how this episode landed with you. So connect with me on Instagram at Gianna Badeau with your thoughts and takeaways. And if you want to dive deeper into subconscious work, the rewired app is your on the go daily resource to shift your mindset, your energy, and your emotional state.
Speaker: You can access 30 days free using the code podcast via the link in the description below. And make sure you subscribe so you don't miss a single episode on this journey.
Speaker: I'll see you next time.
