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Sprinkle Sprinkle
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Join us this week as we explore the infinite wisdom of SheraSeven and discuss the relationship between men and money. Which transactions within relationship are okay and which cross the line into inappropriate? Is intention everything? Plus, is a man sending you $700 before coming to visit a red flag or a nice gesture?
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Transcript
Catching Up and Reminiscing
00:00:06
Speaker
Hello everyone. Welcome back to the Audacity podcast. I'm Rachel and I'm here today with my co-host Heather and Hailey. Hi. How are you guys? Back again. I know, I know. Another week under our belts. Yup.
00:00:23
Speaker
Last week we had Breon, she's amazing. I know, I love her. She's so good. We've had a lot of good feedback and to scratch that part, what I meant was about her. We've had a lot of good feedback about her.
00:00:44
Speaker
Oh boy, my face already hurts from smiling and we're just getting started. Oh my God.
Life in Beverly Hills
00:00:51
Speaker
Well, what have you guys been up to this week? I have been working a lot and just bopping around Beverly Hills.
00:00:57
Speaker
The way I do. Every neighborhood. Now she's a local steeple out there at the Beverly Hills. Yeah, there's like a one mile radius that I just bop around from all these different places. Oh, okay. So we've localized. We're no longer in neighborhoods now. Good. I like that. That was fun. Nothing too exciting, but yeah.
00:01:18
Speaker
What about you, Heather? Barrett had a baseball tournament.
Valentine's Day Reflections
00:01:21
Speaker
It was Valentine's Day. Did you guys do anything fun for Valentine's Day? Or Galentine's Day? I don't know. Are we even celebrating it anymore? Is it even a thing? Well, I got asked out on zero dates. And so I watched The Bachelor and made tacos.
00:01:39
Speaker
I've never watched The Bachelor. I just started. What happened was I watched The Golden Bachelor. It's older people. Turns out that's a gateway drug. They got me through that because I was like, oh, this is so cute. So I've been watching The Bachelor for the first time ever.
00:01:55
Speaker
season 22 or something like that and I'm just like I guess I'll watch and it's honestly shocking the way that they make all the girls seem so just dumb and the way that they have them argue and it's all just like petty and dumb and it's shocking to me because they didn't do that same thing to the older ladies on the Golden Bachelor.
Critique of 'The Bachelor'
00:02:15
Speaker
On the Golden Bachelor they have like these well-developed lives and hobbies and
00:02:19
Speaker
They all got along in the house and there didn't have to be like these catty fights. And when it was time for like the ladies to connect with him, like on The Bachelor, they all have to like talk about their trauma. Like they all have to have like this sit down with him and like tell their traumatic life story about growing up or their family or like every episode. It's a new girl talking about her traumatic childhood episode.
00:02:41
Speaker
But never once did they ever ask this guy, hey, what about you? They never asked him a single question. It's always these like pathetic little girls talking about their pathetic little traumas like, what was me? And then they cry and then he wipes the tear. Every single time. It's the same fucking thing over and over every week. And I'm like, what is going on? It's so pathetic. Do you do it on The Bachelorette?
00:03:03
Speaker
to the guys. Ladies and gentlemen, Rachel is just joining the rest of America in 2022. Literally. We've all known that that is the script. That's probably why the Golden Bachelor is a one and done thing because they weren't freaking out about petty drama and fighting. I know. I don't know. The whole thing is it rubs me the wrong way a little bit because I hate when women are portrayed as like pathetic because these women obviously have
00:03:33
Speaker
such full, amazing, beautiful lives, family, friends. They're vibrant. They're funny. Like they actually they're fucking funny. And the fact that their arc and their narrative on TV is just like this sad sob story where they have to cry. I can understand vulnerability, but it's just like it's so like this scripted thing. You also have to remember that they liquored them.
00:03:56
Speaker
It's like a 24-hour open bar and a lot of the filming apparently is done until the wee hours of the morning. Those are ceremonies. You could sometimes see the sun coming up as people walking to the limo. That's actually why they're crying. I remember thinking...
00:04:16
Speaker
me at 4am with a bunch of annoying bitches and being tendrils deep. That is, nope. No, that would have made for an excellent TV though. Listen. They actually missed out. That could have been excellent. All you gotta do is check my stories at like 1am.
A Personal Discovery
00:04:43
Speaker
So this week I learned that I have one short leg. Oh, what? That's the reason why my back is so fucked up. Oh my gosh. Wait, you're going back to the place in San Francisco. Yeah. So I went, I've actually gotten more x-rays now and like I learned that I have one short leg and so my back is like tilted off to the side. Like it has a big C in it. Do you need those shoes with like a special?
00:05:08
Speaker
Is it scoliosis? Is it scoliosis? But just one leg shorter. Yes. This is nothing to laugh about. This is nothing to laugh about. But wait a minute. Okay, okay, this is okay.
00:05:39
Speaker
I asked him, I was like, what do I do? They have the inserts. They have the inserts. Yeah. He's like, you put this like lift in your shoe and it's totally fine. And I was like, okay, well, what do you do during summer? Oh no. Oh my God. Well, anyways, by the time I'm done with all this, I'm probably going to be like five, seven and a half. You know what I've always wanted to try? What? Those chairs where you strap wrinkles in and they flip you upside down.
00:06:04
Speaker
Oh, yeah. I swear when I was pregnant, like I just to get that pressure off of your like pelvis used to hang off that side of my bed and just wish that I could like get more. Yeah, like more of an angle. I do that because my back to work.
00:06:21
Speaker
Yeah. Okay, so before we completely move on from Valentine's Day, what's the best Valentine's Day gift you've ever received since none of us did anything? Yeah. I got ours delivered at work, actually. Oh, snaps. This is a really big angel. Okay, are you holding out on a whole part of your life that I know nothing about? It's male. Oh, Lord, playing with the hair. Okay.
00:06:51
Speaker
Jesus Christ. It's new. God. Okay, so no, that's super sweet. It's not that deep, but it was nice. Very nice gesture. Yeah, it is always that it's so sweet to see you again. Absolutely. Well, I didn't know that they were for me, like my coworker was like, walking through this huge arrangement. And I was like, Oh, that's so pretty. Because that's for you. And I was like, Are you serious? And it was like, I thought he got them for me.
00:07:20
Speaker
I'm like, this is a little uncomfortable, but thank you. I'll take the gift. I was like, yes. I love that for you. I don't think I've ever been given a Valentine's Day gift. Maybe like in eighth grade. I don't think so.
00:07:39
Speaker
Virtual. I'm trying to think. I honestly don't really care that much about it. I do agree that it's just like this made up. It's like a marketing thing. I bet you there's probably like three to four ex-boyfriends that are going to listen to this and be like, that bitch, I totally gave her. I forgot. Sorry, guys. I actually have a- Not memorable.
00:08:05
Speaker
I actually have a very memorable Valentine's Day gift. What? Do tell. So one year a boyfriend at the time was like, come over, we're gonna go to dinner is when limos were cool, like way before Uber. Yeah. And so it was like, got a limo, we went to this really nice dinner, we went back to his house and
00:08:22
Speaker
I can't remember to share this. Okay. And so do you guys remember? Okay. Well, first of all, he's like, hold on. I have something for you. And so I was like, okay. And he walks up shirtless, but with this present at his waist, I kind of sit up and I look and I was like, what? He was like, pull the top off. I was like, okay.
00:08:47
Speaker
And it was right after Andy Samberg and Justin Timberlake, because it was like the Christmas thing. So it wasn't, you know. You made it like a little song, right? Yeah. It was like an SNL skit or something. Yeah. It was creative. I love it. Valentine's Day.
Introduction to Shira 7 Official
00:09:04
Speaker
The romance isn't done. Well, speaking of gifting, if you clicked on this podcast, you already know today's topic is sprinkle, sprinkle, baby. Yes.
00:09:16
Speaker
Sprinkle, sprinkle. So if you are not familiar with Shira 7 Official, she is an online personality, YouTuber, and she answers questions that women have about how to get men. Let's just watch one of her compilation TikToks right now so everyone can get on the same speed as to what she's all about. If you don't like where you live, don't date where you live. Get up out of there.
00:09:47
Speaker
What signs should you avoid when dating men? The negative bank account sign. The minus sign. You still thinking about an ex and made you pay for stuff? You have Stockholm syndrome. What if he's not attracted to what he wants to see? Close your eyes, sir. You just don't want all prescription contact lenses. Stick them in there. Everything is a blur baby. You said do I worship the devil? I don't worship a man.
00:10:20
Speaker
How you doing? If you're on a date and they're looking at another woman, look at cars. Because a man can be cute and broke and he knows you ain't going nowhere. But looking at cars, it's totally different. On a car, there's a Bentley, I wonder who's driving fast. You know, that way he sees. You're not looking at looks, you're looking at money. You mean, yeah. Don't look at other men, look at cars.
00:10:47
Speaker
What are you guys' initial reactions to her messaging? She's not wrong. I don't know. I think it's funny.
00:10:56
Speaker
kind of nails it a little bit. She isn't wrong with a lot of the things that she says, I think that she talks a lot about a lot of different things. But I think when it comes to print, like financially providing, I don't necessarily think she's totally wrong for some of these men that are like, I want to be the provider, I want it, I want it to go back to how it was back in the day. And
00:11:18
Speaker
I want to be the breadwinner." And it's like, okay. So then now all of a sudden you have these women who are like, yeah, I want someone to take care of me. I want someone to help me pay, not that I need someone to help me pay my bills, but if you want to kick me a little bit of cash to help me pay my bills.
00:11:35
Speaker
make sure that I'm living a little bit easier to take a little bit of a burden off of me, not because I need it, not because there's this like exchange or getting something in an exchange. But maybe because you're just a gentleman. There's a lot of people on there talking about just that if men want to talk about being the providers if men want to talk about alpha male and and be the head of the household and
00:12:01
Speaker
Okay, then that do those things. I also see a message though, about just like not being taken advantage of to that's like something that resonates with me like my ex was absolutely taking advantage of me cheating on me using me like my like financially everything and so
00:12:19
Speaker
I don't know some of that message to me like really was like, yeah.
Financial Dynamics in Relationships
00:12:24
Speaker
Yeah, I have a story. So I had an ex-boyfriend who like had not fallen on hard times by any means because you know, you help the person that you're with like, everyone goes through seasons sometimes.
00:12:35
Speaker
But he didn't want people to know that I was paying for the both of us. There would be times where I would hand him my credit card under the table to like salvage his I don't know my cheese mode and then he would like throw down the card and then just be a complete asshole. I look back at my younger self just like girl.
00:12:58
Speaker
What in the world? Listen, I'll go 50 50. I love paying like I want to treat you well. I want to make you feel good. I want to make you feel special. Like I got this, babe. But like the slightest of like the under the table and like handing their credit card and then and then acting like oh, I got it.
00:13:14
Speaker
I read a lot on Reddit earlier today and I read a very similar story to that multiple times on these different Reddit boards of people talking about men taking advantage and doing similar stuff and
00:13:30
Speaker
using their girl's money to pay for things. One girl mentioned that she had taken this guy out and they were on vacation. So she had got the hotel room and she had bought him dinner and they had this whole nice night and he posted it to Instagram with the caption, treat yourself.
00:13:48
Speaker
Okay, so let's let's let's let's spend that narrative right? What about the women? Yeah, who go on vacation and get everything paid for and all these things and they're just like, Oh, I'm guilty of that.
00:14:08
Speaker
Yeah, I got it like that, right? Or like the guy in the background. I'd like to meet you. Oh, yeah. I've 1000%. I mean, it's been a long while since I've done this. But when I was in my early 20s, I've 100% gone on like two week long vacations with guys with $0 in my bank account. That's okay. I talked about the flex after. I'm like posing and being like, thanks, baby. Like that wasn't it. I'm just like this great vacation I'm on right now with who we don't know. I deserve a warm beach.
00:14:38
Speaker
That's a really nice looking Greek island, Rachel, who you with.
00:14:43
Speaker
Nobody knows. Okay. So speaking of Reddit, I saw this thing. Obviously Shira has a lot of Reddit boards about her, right? And so I thought that this was a really interesting exchange. Someone wrote on the board saying, I just discovered Shira seven official and am in a bit of disbelief over the amount of support she gets from women online. She seems to teach how to make relationships purely transactional and how to take advantage of a man without becoming emotionally attached.
00:15:10
Speaker
I'm not trying to judge anyone on how they live their lives, but I guess I didn't realize how many women actually want this. And someone's reply to it I thought was really good. And they said, a ton of men have purely transactional relationships with women without true emotional attachment or commitment. They just lie about what they're doing and why. I don't see a problem with what she's doing.
00:15:32
Speaker
Let's be serious. Men cheat so often a lot of women expect to be cheated on. There's no reason women should be pretending like good men aren't extremely rare and sometimes straight up unattainable. Men only deserve whatever energy they actually give a woman.
00:15:51
Speaker
I thought that that was so interesting because men do transactional situations with women constantly. Like pretty much everything that a man does with a woman except for like young dumb love, anything beyond that is purely transactional. So it's like why as women are we still, you know, leading with our hearts instead of making it transactional for ourselves as well. Yeah. And what you're saying I think is so much more than like,
00:16:20
Speaker
sex, money, but just like time, okay, I'm going to take you here. And so now I'm expecting this. There's this woman, she's a beauty influencer. And she's kind of blown up because she talks about dating in Manhattan. And she kind of tells like these long winded stories about
00:16:35
Speaker
Her dates, sometimes she won like five, six dates a week, right? She dates a lot. And she tells like these really interesting stories and I don't know, I like to follow them. But the other day she posted and she was like, I think I might've just had a sprinkle sprinkle moment. She talks all about how she went on a date with this man. I think he was European. He was definitely not American. So there might be something culturally there.
00:16:57
Speaker
At the end of the date, he slipped her a few hundred dollars as he was putting her into the car and said, oh, hey, like, here's some money for you to go get a massage tomorrow. Cause she had been complaining about her neck hurting. And at the end of it, she was like, Lee, he just, this man just gave me cash.
Transactional Relationships Debate
00:17:13
Speaker
Like, I don't know how to feel about that, especially after our first date. And there was nothing, there was no sexual interaction to like, by the way. Yeah. No, no, no, I know. I'm just, if you haven't heard the story, like there was, I'll link it in the show notes. Also, if you want to.
00:17:27
Speaker
Watch the series if you want it. She posted two videos about it. I'll link it below She's called Oh pretty things and Yeah, I mean, how do you guys feel about someone just straight-up giving you cash? If it's just someone you were like went on one or two days with don't think I mean either Hold on especially in the context like they they went he set up an uber to pick her up Yeah on their date. They went to dinner and
00:17:57
Speaker
A nice dinner. A really nice dinner. And then she went home and he went home. And as she was getting out, she is very explicit about the fact that she was telling him that she has like a kink in her neck and her shoulder. There's something going on. And at the end, like he just pulls cash out and he's like, Hey, like, make sure you go get a massage, like go take care of yourself, enjoy yourself tomorrow and get it. And I hope you feel better.
00:18:19
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. That's how I get it. I mean, it wasn't like she's putting on her clothes, putting her clothes back on and he's like, here you go. You know, I think. Yeah. Cool. Sign me up. Who said Chivalry is dead? No, I know. I'm telling you, I have some ailment. I'm telling my back. Like whatever the case may be, whatever is going on in my life, if he can and he wants to. Yeah. Listen, my love language, my love languages are quality time.
00:18:47
Speaker
literally quality time and acts of service. Like if my back is hurting and you want to tell me like, Hey, I want, I want you to go enjoy yourself and get a massage and I hope you feel better. There's nothing wrong with that. I think we just started thinking way too much about like, you know, like just dissecting every little thing. But a lot of people, I mean, people are looking at it and are like, Oh, you're a sugar baby. Oh, that's your pain. Like it's crazy what people are saying about it. It become not normal to do something nice for someone.
00:19:16
Speaker
I think that the problem was it wasn't like the next day he sent her a gift card to a massage place or something like that. I think the problem that people were having with it was that it was just straight cash. And I feel like because it was the cash that people felt like it was slightly transactional or maybe that's why she was even questioning it.
00:19:39
Speaker
felt kind of leaning more towards sex worker kind of vibes. Right. But again, she's very clear that like there was no sexual encounter. Yeah, no, there wasn't. And so it's just a matter of like, she mentioned her backwards. And he's like, Hey, like, go get a massage. That's nice. Nice gesture.
00:19:57
Speaker
I think it's a really nice gesture as well. I think it's considerate and then she goes on another date and he does it again. He continues to give her cash. Yeah, in total she has collected like $900 cash from this guy. I think she said don't misquote me. I think like over the course of three dates.
00:20:12
Speaker
Yeah, he just keeps giving her in cash afterwards. And again, I think she mentions that she says something to him about it. And he's just like, Listen, like, I understand what it takes to look the way that you do. Like, you're giving me your time, like the maintenance, I want you to go and enjoy yourself.
00:20:32
Speaker
Without without me around like if you have things you need to take care of go and take care of them and and I'm just like a lot of people feel some type of way about it, but I mean, that's kind of respect I understand what it takes to be a girl because that is something it's like
00:20:49
Speaker
the amount of money that we pay, even getting your hair done. No one's gonna come and talk to me if I have two inches of grays. My nails looking like, you know, crazy. Calluses on my feet, like that, that, that costs money.
00:21:05
Speaker
Yeah. And again, I understand the optics of it, right? That's why we're talking about it. That's why she's gone mini viral. Okay, so getting into this like transactional thing, though. So up until like the 1700s, arranged marriage was the norm, right? And arranged marriage was nothing but transactional. It was fully like a dad being like, I have a daughter,
00:21:31
Speaker
You have a son, I'll give you X amount of money for you to take my daughter. And it was all about power and linking families. And that was just the norm, right? And land. Yes. And like in land and power in general and money.
00:21:47
Speaker
And it had absolutely nothing to do with love. People did grow to love one another. So they say some people did. Marriage in monogamy is kind of a transactional thing. Like this isn't a natural thing that we're doing. Marriage is a legal thing created by the state and the church and all these other institutions. Yeah. So marriage is a transaction created by these institutions.
00:22:15
Speaker
And this trend that's been going on, finding a partner that you love and it's like this emotional connection and they do all these things for you. Like that's a relatively new trend. Is there an element of
00:22:30
Speaker
the sprinkle-sprinkle situation just being at the foundation of what marriage is actually based on, created on. Marriage did not start out as, go find your one true love. Marriage was a transaction. For most of human history.
00:22:47
Speaker
For as long as marriage has existed, it's been a transaction. For a short blip of time for the past 300 years, it's been trending more towards people are going for love. These things that we're talking about where there's complications around deciding about finances and what gifts do you accept and what's what and how do all the transactions work? Where do they fit in? Maybe that's just what marriage is. Maybe that's just what relationships are.
00:23:16
Speaker
And love is an extra bonus. Maybe we've strayed with love. You know what, this is like, it's not off topic, but kind of off topic. But remember when we were talking about how you could sue a guy in China, like if you were like dating. You like gave him your best years or whatever. Yeah, he doesn't marry you. Yeah.
00:23:41
Speaker
Let's talk about transactional. Yeah. So what is it? It's between the ages of 20 to 25. If you date a woman between the ages of 20 to 25 and you don't marry her, then technically, depending on your social status or your economic status, I guess, she could sue you because after a certain age, she becomes basically invaluable or undesirable and you've
00:24:11
Speaker
You've stolen her. You robbed her of her most beautiful years. I fact checked this, remember? Yeah. My friend is from China and she basically said that it's almost more like if you get married and then you get divorced, then you can sue them for that. That's crazy. That's crazy for taking your most beautiful years. I'd love to sue some people.
00:24:40
Speaker
I lived in Shanghai for a year. So what am I entitled to? No, I didn't date anyone. It's fine. But yeah, that's crazy. That's crazy. Could you imagine? That's wild. Okay. Do you guys want to hear something funny? Always. Yes. So this is a couple of years ago, right after I got out of my last big relationship, there was a guy that was interested in me and he took me out for my birthday.
00:25:09
Speaker
And at that time, I didn't really use a wallet. I kind of just like threw all my cards and cash into a bag and like, I would just carry that around a little bag. And so he's like, I'm going to get you a wallet for your birthday. And I'm like, Oh my gosh, that's so sweet. So we got to dinner, we have dinner. And then at the end of it, he's like, Hey, well now it's time to open your gift.
00:25:28
Speaker
He's like, obviously, you know, it's a wallet. And I'm like, okay, yeah, it's like this beautiful like Louis Vuitton bag, right? Like, and he's like, Hey, but there's four wallets in here. I'm going to have you open all of them. And then you get to choose which one you want to keep. And I'm going to return the rest. And I'm like, look at this man. And I'm like,
00:25:48
Speaker
Huh. Okay. And I like pull out the first box and I unwrap it and it's like, you know, a bigger like trifold wallet. Then I opened the next one and it's like a smaller like card wallet. And then I opened another one and it's like a trifold wallet with a little attachment for a car. Like it was just built up on how many, how extravagant this wallets could get, right? Like, wow. Okay. Thank you so much. How a, like, why are you going to make me open all these things that like I don't get to keep?
00:26:18
Speaker
Isn't that so weird? You're going to give me these gifts that I'm going to open, but then you're like, but you only get to keep one. The rest are returning. Isn't that bizarre? I ended up just leaving all the wallets in his car, and he was like, oh, you forgot to take your wallet. I was like, oh, yeah. We're going to go. Oh, God. That is such a racial thing to do. You didn't take any.
00:26:44
Speaker
I feel like that's actually well played. I felt so uncomfortable by it that I was like, I cannot. What if there was just a particular budget and he didn't want to make it crazy? I want her to know that I took the time ahead of time to do this.
00:27:07
Speaker
Here's the thing. A, he was a really nice guy. Really, really sweet guy. B, the fact that he wanted to gift me a wallet and he knows that I didn't carry a wallet, that shows me forethought because it is a
Gift-Giving in Relationships
00:27:22
Speaker
thoughtful gift.
00:27:22
Speaker
Yeah. And consideration. Like, this is something she could use and it's intentional. And I think it was sweet that he wanted me to be able to choose one that I liked, right? Absolutely. That was like a lot. The delivery though. Yeah. Maybe like take you shopping. We were in the middle of a restaurant and I just keep pulling. He's like, give me here. Not that one. Okay. I can just see Rachel like opening every box. She's like,
00:27:51
Speaker
So uncomfortable. But yeah, I don't think budget was an issue, but yeah, I just I thought that that was so weird. Delivery was weird. And I'm glad I didn't keep any of them because totally. Yeah, I think the delivery definitely was odd. I think in that specific case, like maybe just like take you shopping. I feel like that would be very
00:28:15
Speaker
Okay, so I'm just gonna completely deviate. I feel like if a man or men are listening to this or listen to that conversation. They probably think it's an incredible little asshole bitch. What the fuck do I do then? How can I win? It's Lou Lou. We're kind of throwing men for a loop in this one. We kind of are. You know what's a really nice gift that I got from a man?
00:28:42
Speaker
But this was like within a bunch of other gifts that were like material stuff. But he got me like a thing of like my favorite chocolates, which are highly specific and like the correct flavor. And he found an entire bag of like, just the one flavor that I like. That's nice.
00:28:58
Speaker
I'm thoughtful. I like thoughtful stuff where it's like they're paying attention to the things I like, which is, it doesn't have to be like a monetary thing. I'm actually weirded out by, I'm not, not like a designer person. Like I don't need designer things and like a designer gift in the first place kind of like creeps me out. Like that's just not my vibe. So like with the wallet things, like that's a Louis Vuitton wallet is not my personality. I never would have chosen that for myself. And I think that that's why like it,
00:29:26
Speaker
is thoughtful and it's nice and it's a really nice gesture for him to be spending that money, but that's just not who I am as a person. So I think that I know the label horror. So like that's, that's the difference. That's like the disconnect, I think.
00:29:44
Speaker
I agree. I, listen, I'm not going to turn down a Chanel bag. However, I would value and appreciate someone who took the time to give me something that I needed, right? Like something that I recently talked about, like an interest, like took more consideration into just dollar amount. And we're like, I think it comes down to consideration. And that is why
00:30:09
Speaker
I don't actually have a problem with the girl, the TikTok girl's story about the cash. Yeah. Homeboy, kink in her money for her kink in her neck. She told her, she's like, oh man, I don't know. I don't remember what her story was. She fell or whatever happened, but he's like, hey, listen, I want you to go take care of yourself.
00:30:30
Speaker
What is wrong with that? Yeah. Because he wasn't just giving him money to give him money. I don't know. I got a kink in my neck. Should we get into the advice question? Yes, do it. All right. This advice question today is also coming from Reddit because we didn't field any advice questions on this topic. But listeners, if you have something
00:30:53
Speaker
that you need advice on or that you want to run by us, you can write us at our website. It's the audacitypod.com slash advice. Send in your questions and we will answer them. But until then, this one's from Reddit and it goes like this.
00:31:11
Speaker
This guy gave me $700. Is this a red flag? I met this guy in LA. Red flag. Red flag number one. Okay. I met this guy in LA. We both were from out of town getting brunch alone. We struck a conversation while I waited for my food and he waited for his table. His table was called first before my food came out. So he invited me to sit with him. I said yes because I wanted to get to know him more.
00:31:40
Speaker
And he thought the same. This is during COVID times. So scared his face wasn't going to match his eyes when he took off his mask. Thank God he was just as gorgeous. We got along, we laughed. We got to know each other and then we eventually had to part ways. I had to go back to my friends and he had to go back to his do his thing. Do his thing actually she said so.
00:32:04
Speaker
Okay. He had to go back and do his thing. We exchanged numbers because we loved how we met and ever since then we've been chatting. We text and we talk on the phone every now and then. After being convinced we had to redo our, quote, first date, we decided he's going to come and visit me. He's been the sweetest. We rarely talk about sex, which is something that comes up almost immediately when I'm talking to someone new.
00:32:32
Speaker
He talks about how we're going to go shopping while he's out here and how he loves to splurge on himself while he's on vacation. AKA, he doesn't really have a budget. And then while we were talking about things, he says, I want to give you some money so you can get some stuff for us and you can go shopping before I get there.
00:32:52
Speaker
He asked my cash app and he sends me $700. I've never gotten that much money from someone and I've dated guys with money before. I even had to call him to be like, I don't know what you think this is, but this is not a transaction. I'm not a prostitute. He laughed and said, it's nothing like that.
00:33:09
Speaker
and he didn't mean to make it seem like that. He said he genuinely likes spending money on people and he appreciated me taking off from work. Do you think that this is a red flag? Is he a weirdo for giving me $700 like that? We haven't had sex and he knows it's not guaranteed. Although, of course, I plan on having sex with him, lol. She says, I want to. I'm thinking this is just how rich people are. I don't want to be naive and end up on a true crime show.
00:33:40
Speaker
What do you guys think? Good turn at the end. Hard turn. What do you guys think? Oh, I'm confused. What were the things that he wanted her to buy?
00:33:55
Speaker
He's coming to town and he's like, I hear some cash. I want you to be prepared for when I come to town rather than groceries or plants and things. There's a ton of restaurants these days who require a deposit even for reservations, right? I don't know. I don't see anything wrong with this. I understand the hesitation.
00:34:23
Speaker
I'm sending you cash. And so now you feel like you're required more pressure. Yeah, but if that's where your head goes, then that's a you thing. That's a good point. He also she also said in there that he sent the money
00:34:38
Speaker
to, you know, prepare for his arrival and he mentioned because she had to take off work. Yeah. And so it's like he helped cut offsetting the cost of maybe if she's like an hourly employee or she doesn't get like a paid vacation day, that he's offsetting the cost a little bit for her like while she's making time for him.
00:34:59
Speaker
I guess I think the overarching narrative here is if someone can take care of themselves financially, wonderful. And if someone also wants to step in and help alleviate, right, or help provide
00:35:19
Speaker
a bigger buffer, help you live a little bit more comfortably, bestow gifts upon you. I don't see a problem with that. I think that we're so used to seeing and assuming that when we see these young girls in other countries on private jets, live in that beach life that it's
00:35:45
Speaker
it's in exchange for sex. And maybe some of it is, right? Because we know that we know that that's out there. But like, maybe, maybe there just are a lot of great men who are like, I just want to do something nice for you.
00:36:01
Speaker
I think a preemptive cash payment before he even shows up is a little... It's trying to say something. I mean, I don't know what his intentions are, but I feel like it means something. It feels too flashy. If I met a guy and we met once and we had lunch together and we've chatted, we kept in touch and he's gonna come visit, and then he sends me $700 before he shows up, I'd be like, dude, I can...
00:36:28
Speaker
I have my own money also. What are you doing? It seems a little much. We also don't know what we don't know. What is she talking to him about? What hardships, all these things. But yeah, you're right. If someone's just throwing money around, oh, I got it like that. Yeah, that's kind of douchey. No, it's very douchey. Absolutely.
00:36:50
Speaker
If I was like, Oh, I'm going to go to the grocery store and pick up some stuff. So we have, you know, whatever, and maybe like a couple bottles of wine. If someone sent me like 100 bucks, I'm like, Oh, here, let me help you out with that. That would be totally reasonable. Like, Oh my gosh, thank you so much. Like, thanks for that surprise. That's totally different than $700 though.
00:37:09
Speaker
Yeah. You can buy a lot of groceries for $700. Not when you have your kids at Costco. But that's why I think that she probably felt more pressure. Yeah. Yeah. Well, anyways, at first it seems beautiful and it's like, oh, wow, girl, collect cash. And then the more you sit with it and you're like, but if I was her, that just kind of seemed like a red flag. Yeah.
00:37:37
Speaker
Yeah. The red flags are, they're mounting, they're catching a breeze. I do think it's a very different situation than our homegirl from TikTok who like went on a date and... Yeah. Yeah. I agree. What's that? Yeah. I'm like, you can come over though. I'm like, what city is this in? Let's start talking expenses.
00:38:06
Speaker
LA $700 does not get you that much. No, it doesn't. It really doesn't. Proximity matters.
00:38:16
Speaker
All right, should we get into the top eight? Yeah. First up is lipstick. It's makeup by Mario. I really love their ultra suede lipstick. It's in between a matte and a cream. I wear it in the shade cam, which is kind of like a rusty sort of blush dark color.
00:38:39
Speaker
I don't know it's late now guys but it's a beautiful color. It's really late for us you guys. I'll link it in the show notes. It's a really beautiful color and I just I love the texture of it. It doesn't feel like it's drying out your lips but it also just doesn't have that like oily feel to it so makeup by Mario, ultra suede, lipstick in cam. Number two is this restaurant that I've been frequenting lately.
00:39:04
Speaker
Um, crustacean in Beverly Hills. It is so good. And I made friends with the chef. You're not doing the hair twirl when you talk about being friends with the chef. I'm just saying she go. I know. I love that you've been going there when Haley was like, Oh yeah, I've been going. I went to crustacean. I was like, no shit. That place is still open. Like it's been there for 32 years. I know is a cornerstone of like Beverly Hills culture. So, but it's so good. And like.
00:39:34
Speaker
I haven't had that much caviar in a long time. Yeah, listeners, if you happen to find yourself in Beverly Hills, crustacean is delicious. It's really cool in there. There's a whole little river that flows through the floor. I don't know. It's really cool.
00:39:49
Speaker
Yeah, there's like koi fish, like in the floor. And like plexiglass. Yeah, it's really cool. Okay, so actually mine is also a restaurant.
Phoenix Restaurant Recommendation
00:39:58
Speaker
We are kind of gearing up for spring training here in Arizona. Game starts soon. So if you are in Scottsdale and Phoenix for spring training, you need to go and check out Bakanora.
00:40:10
Speaker
It's in downtown Phoenix. It's in the only Flatiron building in downtown Phoenix. It is owned and operated by chef named Rene. And he now has three restaurants in the valley, but it was on the Thrillist like top 50 restaurants in the United States last year. It is
00:40:29
Speaker
what they call Sonoran comfort food. Everything is cooked over an open flame. It's smoky. The drinks are amazing. The food is incredible. They're playing like 90s R&B mashup. It's so good vibe. Oh, it is so a vibe. They have an amazing Sunday brunch. So bakanora in Phoenix, you have to try it number four.
00:40:52
Speaker
is the Fresh Rose Deep Hydration Face Cream. I'm addicted to this stuff. I promise I haven't been drinking. I don't know why I can't speak today. I happen. But it's like rose scented and just so luxurious and soft and I could smother my whole body in it. I wear this every day, twice a day actually. It has hyaluronic acids.
00:41:17
Speaker
a duo of hyaluronic acids. And it's by that company Fresh. I think it's like all clean ingredients. That's going to be another place, which me and Rachel went for a Martini Monday. I'm at the La Dolce Vita. We made friends with the bartender Doug. He was actually really funny and a big fan of our podcast. Hi, Doug. Hi, Doug.
00:41:46
Speaker
I love that. But no, they have this like garlic, black garlic martini that- Oh, the Gibson with the black garlic oil floated on top. Oh my gosh, it's so good. It's so good. I've had so many of them since we went and did that. So yeah, have you? Okay, so if you listener, if you're interested, Haley and I tasted it and posted it on TikTok.
00:42:11
Speaker
It's all over my TikTok. You can see his taste in it. Live action review. See me hammered. Hayley and I next week are going to New York City to film like eight new martinis.
00:42:32
Speaker
Beware. It's going to be unhinged. I'm so sad I'm not going. Maybe I should book a flight. Just maybe show up. Maybe I'll just show up. 24 hour turnaround. I've seen you in New York for less time than that. Oh, yeah. Red Eye, 24 hours with us. You could do it. One year. Oh, I shouldn't share the story.
00:42:55
Speaker
One year before an audition, I had a friend who was like, fly to Vegas, we'll come pick you up. And I was like, cool, send the plane. And so they did that. And then I went there. And it was the day before an audition. And I spent
00:43:10
Speaker
less than 18 hours in Las Vegas the day before I had to audition and they flew me back that morning at like 4.30 in the morning to make it to like the seven o'clock check-in before a finals audition for a dance team.
00:43:26
Speaker
Did you make the team? Sure did. Good job. That's our girl. That's our girl. All right. Number seven. Number seven. La May. La May. Yeah. It's a French restaurant in Phoenix. However, they have this thing called the adult happy meal. And it is a martini and truffle fries. Yum. I fuck with that. Yeah.
00:43:52
Speaker
regularly. It's a problem. Highly recommend it. We'll tag the restaurant. You need it. Number eight today, our final item. Mine's a lot of beauty products today. Okay, guys. And ours is all restaurants and bars.
00:44:06
Speaker
Today we're going with Nest Madagascar Vanilla perfume. I normally hate anything that's vanilla scented. I think it just smells cheesy, but I love this as a layering perfume. I like a lot of floral scents.
00:44:22
Speaker
And so adding like a little dash of the vanilla at night just makes it like a little more sexy. And I kind of like double the amount of perfumes that you have. Anyways, Nest, Madagascar vanilla, it's just straight up vanilla scent and I love layering with it. So everything will be linked below. Go check it out. Do we have the audacity of the week?
Gun Regulation Frustrations
00:44:43
Speaker
I have one and it's like a little bit more serious.
00:44:45
Speaker
And this isn't going to be for everyone. It's politicians who have no backbone to actually stand up for gun regulation. We know that the Kansas City Chiefs last week had a parade to celebrate their Super Bowl victory.
00:45:02
Speaker
And at the end of the parade, there were two gunmen. Obviously, it wasn't a mass shooting, right? Like what everyone initially thought there was some type of quarrel, like personal fight. But at the end of the day, 10 people ended up in the hospital. Someone died.
00:45:20
Speaker
When are our politicians going to actually have a backbone and listen to what the people that they're supposed to represent want for our country? I am a gun owner. Matt owns so many guns. We have a gun. I've seen his collection.
00:45:41
Speaker
actually a collection. Most people are for common sense gun laws, whether you live in California, Florida, Texas, Arizona, Kansas City. I think most people agree that we need to do something that our representatives need to have a fucking backbone. Yeah. Because the fact that we can't send our kids to school
00:46:07
Speaker
without worrying about who's going to show up on campus. We can't go to places of worship and worry about who's going to have a bad day. We can't go to the grocery store. We can't go to the movie theaters. We can't go to a fucking parade without worrying and thinking about how do I get out of this
00:46:33
Speaker
situation or this store. I think about it all the time. Every fucking where I go. Whenever I'm underground in the subway, I'm always like, where's my out? To me, an underground subway train station where you're trapped underground, I mean, I don't want to put this out into the world, but I'm constantly freaked out about what if someone with a gun came down there and there's only two exits out or you have to run down the fucking train tracks and take that risk.
00:47:01
Speaker
I think about it with big crowds too. It's like the same. The fact that now we are so conditioned. It's every few weeks. It's pervasive. Yeah. And it's everywhere. And I feel like it's about lobbyists. It's about power. It's about money. They don't want to listen to what most Americans want and need. I mean, the fact that our teachers have to send emails letting parents know.
00:47:32
Speaker
that if something were to happen in my classroom, I want you to know that I will do everything to protect your student, to protect your child. That's fucking sick. It really is.
00:47:53
Speaker
That's horrible. It really is. We're all now conditioned to accept that we don't have the right to safety in our communities. And we all just have to live with it. I did learn this week that there's a shit ton of cutting edge technology.
00:48:14
Speaker
that could be implemented and mandated that basically makes it impossible for anybody other than the owner of a gun to use that gun, right? There's all these fingerprints, fingerprint technology. I did not even know that this stuff exists. And to think that we have all of this cutting edge technology that could be
00:48:37
Speaker
saving lives regularly where a stolen gun is basically useless, right? All of these crimes, all of these senseless murders and the pain that it causes everybody around them. All of this is preventable with technology that already exists. It's because lobbyists. It's because the people who have the power to regulate, to govern,
00:49:02
Speaker
to say we need better enforcement. Most gun owners want safety regulations. Most non-gun owners absolutely want more safety regulations. Again, gun owner, many, many, not one, not just like a handgun, right? My household, we're collectors. I understand.
00:49:27
Speaker
Yeah, but like at what cost? Where is the common sense? Yeah, we can do better. I think collectively everybody wants better and I think we're reaching a tipping point. Honestly, like I just hope so. And this is sick. This is sick. I hate to even like take it there, but like at what cost? I was just thinking who's the last murdered child before the law changes? What are we doing?
00:49:54
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know. I really don't know, but fuck yeah, those politicians do have the audacity. Sorry, I didn't mean to take it there, but people shooting up a parade, it's like, come on. Yeah. Yet another one. All right, well, thanks for listening, everybody. We'll be back next week with- That was heavy. I know. Heavy ending, yeah. How do we come back from that one? Okay.
00:50:23
Speaker
We really just threw everybody for a loop on that one. So many loops in this episode. I know. Well, thank you everyone for listening. We'll be back next week with Natalie Kohler, talent agent in LA to discuss rejection, the rejection cycle that a lot of actors have to go through. So tune in. Thanks for listening. Bye, guys. Bye. Have a great week.