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Surviving the Symphony of Rejection with Talent Agent Natalie Kollar
107 Plays1 year ago
Join us this week as we sit down with special guest, Natalie Kollar, to explore the realities of rejection. No one knows rejection quite like actors who book only a small fraction of the roles they audition for - Natalie walks us through what that looks like and how she encourages her clients to keep going no matter what. Is it healthy to completely disassociate from feelings of disappointment after being rejected?
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Transcript
Introduction and Guest Background
00:00:05
Speaker
Hi, everyone. Welcome back to the audacity podcast. This is Rachel and I'm here today with my co host Haley. Unfortunately, Heather could not be with us tonight while we're recording. She has had to take care of some family business as a mother of three has to do sometimes. But we are very excited to have my and Haley's good friend Natalie Kohler on tonight. Thanks for having me.
00:00:32
Speaker
Yes, thank you so much for joining us. Natalie is our second guest ever on this podcast. I could not be more happy than be here supporting the two of you. So when I was sitting around thinking about how I would love to introduce Natalie to this podcast.
00:00:51
Speaker
I thought of a very iconic story that I would like to tell. No, I'm nervous. There are
Restaurant Anecdote and Conflict Resolution
00:01:02
Speaker
many iconic stories, but this is part of the story of how we met. So Natalie and I met over a decade ago. We were both working at a very high volume Asian restaurant in Los Angeles.
00:01:18
Speaker
Natalie was a server at this restaurant and I worked at the front desk and my job there at this very high volume crazy restaurant was to choose where everyone is sitting. I went through the reservations every day. I decided all the walk-ins and I figured out like who's sitting where at what time.
00:01:38
Speaker
It's a lot. It's a very high pressure situation. Okay. But as a server, you wanted to very much always be on your good side because if you weren't, you weren't going to get the parties that were going to either pay or tip well or, you know, be the money makers for the night. So yes. So also my position was also a very intimate position because not only do I have like these cutesy, like little relationships with all the servers, but I also have to know
00:02:04
Speaker
what server can handle what, who I can see where, and like what the situation is. Come one day where Natalie is in this section that includes our private room at this restaurant, which has three tables, but there were no private events that day. And so I had to seat the three tables in this room where it's very
00:02:27
Speaker
tight, the tables are close together. It's very dim in there. Like it's really like a sexy place to have a cute private event. Yes, it has its own patio, whatever. But for this situation of just seating like a family, it was hard. So it got down to the wire of like, okay, Natalie's here, I need to seat these tables. She needs to make money.
00:02:48
Speaker
And so I just start firing off like random people in there. And I see this table in there that is a man, a woman, and there are two kids, a couple, and they didn't like their table. They really didn't like their table. They didn't like their table at all. And so the dad comes storming back up to the front and he's like yelling at the hostesses and just being like, yeah, blah, blah, blah. So I kind of like step in and I'm like, sir, can I help you? Like, what can I do for you?
00:03:15
Speaker
I need to see the manager and I'm like, okay, sure. Okay. And like, I know that I sent these people here. I know that this is a regular thing that when people go back there, they hate it. They come yelling. So I'm just like, okay, I'm like, let me, let me do like the, my canned response for this thing. Right? It's like, you're the kid getting shoved in the back of the class. Like no one really wants to like, no one wants to sit there. No one wants to sit there. It's bad. And I'll be honest, it's bad, you know, but if you want to eat with us, 12 people have to eventually sit there. Right? So
00:03:45
Speaker
Also, Janie and Jim were none too pleased that they went to this elaborate restaurant and were only given a spot in the corner. Correct. But anyways, I digress. Someone's eventually got to sit there. Anyway, the guy comes yelling, the manager comes up, the dad's like, I want an apology, blah, blah, blah. Yelling, screaming. I'm like,
00:04:05
Speaker
I'm just gonna go get Natalie and I'm gonna have like let's have her apologize and like the manager's like Natalie needs to apologize and I was like okay look like I'm gonna go talk to her so I go talk to Natalie was like look like
00:04:18
Speaker
guys really mad. It's 97% my fault. Can you just apologize so like the leave right. And so the way that the restaurant is the front like a long corridor and there there's a corner that goes into the restaurant and Natalie comes around the corner. She looks the man in the eye and she does this curtsy very dramatic curtsy and she goes
00:04:41
Speaker
I'm sorry. And then she whips her hair around. She walks back over. And that was the end of it. And that was the end of it. And I
Career Transition to Talent Agent
00:04:50
Speaker
was just like, I was standing there. I was like, Yeah, she did it. And the Oscar goes to Yeah, I was like, wow. I was like, Yeah, like, she really did it. I fully curt seed. I'll paint another like color on top of this story to sort of really, really button it and send it home.
00:05:05
Speaker
This gentleman was like not only so like rabidly angry that he was put in the corner. But mind you, like it looked like he and his wife and his children had been like walking around downtown Disney all day and like hadn't eaten. So it was like they were malnourished.
00:05:20
Speaker
angry, they got put back in the corner, also mad because I was like snarky with them in the corner, like trying to get their food order. And I was like, sir, I'm just trying to take your order. So he wasn't liking any of that. And so he blamed all of the current circumstances on me. And it was my fault. So then I became the server at fault for all of this.
00:05:38
Speaker
But at that point, I had zero fucks left to give. And so the manager was just like, just apologize. And so to to top it off, and to back Rachel's story up. Yeah, I was like, okay, I'm going to give the fakest apology. You're in the history of apologies. So good. My in my true theatrical ways, I opened my arms, I bowed and curtied and I said, I'm sorry.
00:06:05
Speaker
And I went around and walked back away. It was so good though. And that, ladies and gentlemen, was the beginning, middle, and end of my career as a server. We get a whole podcast separate talking about the ridiculousness of restaurants and working in one and trying to actually get seated somewhere in Los Angeles. I know. Very happy I never worked in a restaurant. Yeah. Wow. Well, you're very lucky to have never have done that. But I'm blessed with retail.
00:06:37
Speaker
Let me go ahead and introduce my good friend Natalie because you haven't got the appropriate introduction that you deserve. Natalie is a Southern California native, originally from Huntington Beach, correct?
00:06:52
Speaker
Yes. Born and raised. Sunny Zocal, HB. And then you went to Fullerton, right? I went to Cal State Fullerton. I did. And you studied theater. I studied theater. If you couldn't tell. I'm like, from the dramatics. From the dramatics. A flare for the dramatics is a... Yeah. I've seen a lot of performances. Yeah. Hailey and I have gotten so many performances, which we love, but I'm...
00:07:17
Speaker
I'm so happy to say that Natalie has really been able to use her foundational years in theater, like channel that into an amazing career as an agent. And so now you are a talent agent for both commercial and theatrical, correct? Yes. And theatrical is television, film and live theater. You've really thrived in that.
00:07:40
Speaker
It's been three years doing both, uh, running both departments and I'm, I'm alive and kicking. I know that you've had so much success. Like you've had your clients have a lead on Broadway. You've had amazing commercial placements, like during the Superbowl Grammys. Your clients have been featured and TV shows. And so you really have your feet wet when it comes to working actors in your industry, like.
00:08:10
Speaker
you really understand? Yeah, and understand that this business is not for the faint of heart, especially in this sort of climate that we're in. We're still sort of coming off a pandemic and coming off two major strikes in the business. And, you know, we're still absolutely recouping from those. So, you know, I was fortunate where some weren't while
00:08:29
Speaker
the theatrical division was pushed to the wayside due to the strikes. I still had a thriving commercial department. I was able to keep afloat fortunately while others weren't. I'm very grateful for also
Challenges in the Acting Industry and Podcast Origins
00:08:42
Speaker
being given the opportunity to run both departments because I don't think I would have a job if I was just wanting to run one and not the other. I remember when you got this job, which was such a big deal,
00:08:55
Speaker
you're building out a whole new department at the company that you're at right now. Yeah. What was that like? Like you literally got hired to build out a whole new department. Yeah, it was scary. You know, I think it would have been a safe choice to sort of choose someone that already had a well established roster and working actors and
00:09:16
Speaker
You know, I had a sort of tiny musical theater department that sort of came with me, so to say, but, you know, I was given the opportunity to sort of build from the ground up, which is very rarely if ever given and sort of.
00:09:30
Speaker
allowed without sort of starting from zero, so to say. So they're like, here, here's a salary, go build a department. So I had to sort of sink or swim and kind of call on my my own sort of roster of manager friends and casting director friends. And you know, obviously, the talent pool that I sort of already knew Justin
00:09:47
Speaker
being sort of an associate and an assistant in the agenting business. You know, obviously, I knew a lot of actors. So the, you know, three years up until pandemic was me sort of building the department, the TV film and theater department. So a lot was put on my shoulders very quickly. But I think that's sort of where I thrive in sort of this environment that it's sort of sink or swim. And that's sort of
00:10:09
Speaker
something that I really am proud of myself for doing. I think a lot of folks might not have been able to have the bandwidth or the wherewithal to understand this business. I learned for some of the best. First couple of agencies I worked for were for some agents that really knew this business and really taught me a lot. I owe a lot of what I have learned from them.
00:10:33
Speaker
you learn from the best. And if you learn from the best, you sort of can be the best. So I sort of took what I liked from their dials and I adapted and sort of created my own. And now I sort of have a voice and casting likes me and likes my taste and they're seeing my clients. You're killing it. I know. I love that.
00:10:51
Speaker
They trust your vision. They know that when they hire one of your actors, someone that's signed with you, they understand what they're going to get. There's an expectation of what is actually going to happen. I think that's great. Correct. And this business is truly built on taste and acting, obviously. Listen, first and foremost, the art of acting. They can all act. They can all act.
00:11:20
Speaker
Yes and no. Essentially, yes. We can all be actors if we want to because we're just playing a part, but understanding the craft and the knowledge of what it takes to be that is not just being an actor anymore. You really are the COO or the CEO of your own company.
00:11:36
Speaker
to backtrack a little, yes, my reputation is purely built on sort of my own sort of resume. And then my resume is my roster of actors and sort of what they've booked. So, very proud of that. Yeah. I'm not sure if anyone knows this, but I'm actually signed with Natalie.
00:11:55
Speaker
Yet to book anything, but you remember when you said that in California? Yeah, it was so funny. I was like, Hailey, they're looking for stylists. I said, like actual stylists for a commercial. And I will always be the type of person, like if I know someone, like my little brother's a golfer, I'll put him in for golf spots. My older brother's a teacher, I would put him in for teacher spots.
00:12:18
Speaker
You know, I was like, Oh, a stylist. I was like, Oh, I have that Haley is my friend. I can do that. I was like, Haley, you can just like act like a, be a stylist, right? Like a real stylist. So at that point she wasn't really acting. She was just being herself and Haley's got a great personality. So Haley, I mean, we could talk about more doing more commercial spots. That's something you're into. I'm kind of down. Yeah. Speaking of Haley wants to be on the big screen, basically a little over one year ago, Haley and I got drunk.
00:12:49
Speaker
Imagine that surprise surprise surprise to like 34 year olds with no kids, nothing to do at night drinking. And we just started recording ourselves talking for no fucking reason. I don't know. I think I just like set up my phone and push record. And we start blabbing blabbing, doing a whole thing. We were acting like we were e news hosts.
Impact of COVID-19 on Auditions
00:13:13
Speaker
We're going for an interview. Excellent. I would like to see that footage personally. Yeah. Maybe one day we'll post it. It was on hand. I'm happy to offer feedback, too. You guys need to help me with your self-tapes. I'm right there for you. No, and Natalie, you don't even understand. We're going up to Strangers. How do you feel about the band and recording it, basically? We were acting so on hand. I was like, we're with E! News. I was so serious.
00:13:37
Speaker
Yeah, I would have believed it. I would have been like, okay. If the two of you came up to me and were like, hey, so we'd love to hear your feedback. We'd be like, I'd be like, okay, yeah, here we go.
00:13:48
Speaker
We're asking people like pose with like this little fish thing. Like it was, there's a lot going on, but I was telling her like exactly like basically one year ago, we recorded ourselves talking and we're like, that's pretty good. Yeah, there you go. That was kind of fun. And then tomorrow we're flying to New York and I was like, you know, the whole point of us going to New York right now is to like record ourselves talking. Yeah. Just like drinking stuff.
00:14:15
Speaker
I'm going to be on Times Square, literally. If someone one year ago when this one thing happened where we started recording ourselves could be like, yeah, in one year, you're going to have a podcast. You're going to be flying to New York to record yourselves, drink martinis. I'd have been like, what the fuck? That'll go over real well, especially New York City.
00:14:35
Speaker
So Natalie, I lived in LA for over a decade. And as we've talked about, I worked very heavily in food and beverage. And during that time, I met so many actors. And I've learned so much about the industry. That's one of the reasons why we wanted to bring you on today because I don't feel like enough people understand the brutality
00:15:00
Speaker
of the acting industry and the fact that casting calls and auditions and all of that like it isn't really what people outside of the industry think it is. And so I kind of want to talk about that today and I want to talk about the cycle of rejection because there's so much rejection in the acting industry. So I would love for you just to explain to our listeners who are majority
00:15:29
Speaker
not even close to being in this industry, what it's like for the average actor going to work each day and having to go to an audition? Well,
Evolution of the Industry with Streaming Services
00:15:41
Speaker
there's a twofold here. I'll tell you what it used to be like, and I'll tell you what it's like now. Before COVID, when I started working as an assistant at a boutique agency, the day was filled with auditioning, and you would get notified
00:15:57
Speaker
via email and a phone call from your agent that you, you know, and I can only sort of speak to my specific agency that I was working at when I first got started, that you would have either, you know, maybe one or two commercial auditions maybe in the morning and or maybe like one theatrical audition in the evening.
00:16:15
Speaker
So someone that considered themselves a working actor in both fields would have their day filled of driving around, making it to their auditions, agents are getting timeframes. You were given sides for your audition maybe the night before. If it was a guest star, maybe you had two days, three days, or you didn't. And you had one day, and it was eight pages, and you had to just take it with you and do your best.
00:16:40
Speaker
commercial auditions are a little quicker. Sometimes they're aside, sometimes they're not. You show up to the audition, you fill your name in, you're in the waiting room with a cattle call. Maybe there's 10 commercials being cast that day and now there's 50 to 100 people in the waiting room. The day was filled with auditioning and it was exciting. That's what it was like before it all made the switch, so to say. Over the years with the advent of
00:17:08
Speaker
you know, switching over to streaming services, the amount of content that was there doubled and tripled, you know, we Netflix came about and you know, then the HBO sort of moved online and Hulu and it was no longer just network television. So what the you know, common actor was used to was the seasons. So you know, you had your pilot season, which you know, fell between January and about April.
00:17:30
Speaker
And pilot season was traditional network pilot seasons. And the networks are CBS, NBC, ABC, Fox. We'd have your bulk of the majority of the new shows being cast during that time. So if you were a new actor coming to the business, you would sort of be like, oh, I'm coming to LA for pilot season to hopefully book a pilot. And that would sort of perhaps launch your career. Then you have hiatus. And then you have episodic season that would start back up from about probably end of July.
00:17:57
Speaker
you'd have a good solid eight months of show shooting when it had 20 to 22 to 23 episodes.
00:18:02
Speaker
So that all has sort of gone away. So let's sort of fast forward to COVID times. So COVID, and honestly, even before COVID hit, the advent of the self tape sort of came about. I was going to ask you about that in this conversation. Self tape really sort of changed the landscape of what it really meant to be an actor and sort of what your day to day was. So your day to day now, since the advent of self tapes can be,
00:18:31
Speaker
people are at home where the average working person maybe would have gone up and driven and gone to work. The actor would have gotten up and driven to their auditions. Now everyone's at home. Everyone's making their auditions at home. Some people thrive in it and some people do not. So depending on the type of actor you are and how much you've been in this business and how you've adapted,
00:18:54
Speaker
It's like Darwinism, survival of the fittest. Those that have adapted to this new wave of self-taping,
Resilience and Support in Acting
00:19:03
Speaker
you choose to love it or you hate it. It's a nature of the beast right now. The rejection in the industry has altered for the actor. You would get up and go to these auditions and
00:19:14
Speaker
you know, be there and be in it all day long. And you know, you would go and sort of be able to perform and do your thing and then go home. And you know, listen, you were probably getting told yes, a lot more back in the day, because there was so much more out there versus today. Now you're one of you know, you're one actor in a submission of 5000.
00:19:37
Speaker
And maybe you're one of 50 tapes for a co-star and casting is absolutely watching all these tapes. They're not in the business of sending someone a self-tape and not watching it. But now the actor is at home performing their auditions into nothing. And now I'm sending off this tape to the casting directors and my agents and that's it.
00:20:01
Speaker
And so, you know, the rejection has sort of altered a little bit. So, you know, from my conversations with my own actors, you really have to have a very strong sense of self and not let this business get to you because, you know, here, like, what am I doing? I'm setting tape after tape after tape after tape after tape and I'm not looking. Well, what am I doing? So I have to tell my actors constantly, you know, I had a text thread with one of my girls today and she's like, I just like I'm in a rut. I don't know.
00:20:31
Speaker
what i'm doing you know i'm sending all these tapes off and nothing's happening and i say it's sort of where we're at now with the business you know i believe in you your agent should be your number one fan you have a manager you know your manager is too so where your height people so you know actors really have to have a very strong sense of self and you know individualism so
00:20:51
Speaker
during moments where you really are sort of getting beaten up. I have literally sent hundreds and hundreds of tapes. I have to be able to sort of look within myself and say, look, I can either withstand this business and continue to do what I do or throw in the towel. So rejection is constant. Can I ask you, from what I understand from my friends in LA, part of the casting experience is that casting directors are looking for a specific look
00:21:20
Speaker
feel vibe from people and essentially the entire casting calls them just like looking for that specific person. Can you speak a little bit to that and like what that experience is like for your actors? Casting has an idea of what they want when they put out a breakdown for the rules that they're looking for either
00:21:40
Speaker
ethnicity, or gender, or age range. It's like you're an article of clothing. When you walk into a store and you have no idea what you're looking to buy, but you have blue shirts, you have black shirts, you have green shirts, you have jeans, you have
00:22:00
Speaker
genes with studs. You have genes that are ripped and torn, and you don't have any idea what you're looking for, but you know when you see it that it is it. So yes, we're talking about humans in this instance, but the beauty of it is the casting process itself is sort of exploratory. They often have an idea of what they're looking for, but someone could come in and completely change their mind. The sort of unfortunate
00:22:26
Speaker
incident is that the likeliness that it's going to be you is probably slim. But one day it will be you. And that's sort of the beauty of what sort of the acting business hold is that at some point you're going to come in and knock their socks off or you're going to change their mind. And that's sort of going to be the actor's story to sort of, you know, live off of. At some point you are going to beat it.
00:22:51
Speaker
And I think if you have the bandwidth and the wherewithal to sort of stay in this business, you have to realize that you're talented, that you believe in yourself, that you have a good team and the training you're continuing to train.
Dealing with Rejection
00:23:03
Speaker
You know, at some point you're going to walk through that door and you are going to be what casting wants. And I hope that that journey happens sooner than most for my actors.
00:23:14
Speaker
It's a tough game. Yeah. Well, so at large, it is a lot of rejection for most actors every day are getting more rejections than they get confirmations, right? I mean, the business is 99% rejection and sort of, yeah, you got the job. You're at this. You're at today.
00:23:37
Speaker
amp up your actors, like keep going to auditions and to keep in the game. Like how do people keep doing it? Even if you've never booked anything big, like you've never got that validation, that confirmation, like how do people keep doing it?
00:23:52
Speaker
You know, it is the crazy love for this business and the love of acting. Hopefully you have a really great support system at home. You know, your significant other sort of understands what you're doing. They believe in you. Your agent believes in you. Your manager believes in you. Your mom believes in you. Your sister believes in you. You believe in you. To sort of combat the symphony of rejection
00:24:17
Speaker
you have to sort of push through and persevere yourself because that's sort of all it is. And like I said, at some point, hopefully it breaks and you know, at some point you sort of realize this is what I want to do and I'm in it for the long haul or like I said, you throw in the towel.
00:24:35
Speaker
Can I ask you guys something? Yes. What is the biggest rejection that you've faced in your life? Or maybe not the biggest, but what is the story or something where you've personally faced rejection?
00:24:48
Speaker
I think for me most formative, you know, keeping with sort of the performance theme of it, what kind of shaped my decision to sort of decide to kick the bucket as far as continuing to perform myself was college. College was an extremely difficult time for me and I went to a performing arts college and that was supposed to be an area where
00:25:11
Speaker
Honestly, college was just an extension of high school, especially for someone like myself who had no idea who they were. They didn't know what job they wanted. You go to college and you hope that all these people have the answers and they're going to tell you what to do. I got thrown into this performing arts program thinking, okay, this is what I want to do. All these people are going to give me the right tools to learn to be a performer and all these acting classes. I was only met with rejection.
00:25:40
Speaker
So immediately before I even began, what I thought was going to be a performing arts program was immediately met with, oh, you're not good enough to do this. So here I was a performer, myself, you know, auditioning and, you know, doing plays outside of school, but school was telling me I wasn't good enough.
00:25:58
Speaker
It was hard for me to sort of get through college and say my school, which is supposed to be this beacon of learning and sort of doing the things was only giving me rejection. You know, it was really tough kind of getting through those years, but you know, it definitely kind of shaped me and sort of gave me a thicker skin. So yeah.
00:26:13
Speaker
I can't imagine like paying to be somewhere to like learn stuff and they're like, you're not good enough to be here. Sorry. That sounds so fucked up actually. Oh my God. Yeah. But you know, again, we persevere and we persevere, but whoa, I personally couldn't do it. I could never be in like the acting industry period, but like that situation I could not be in.
00:26:36
Speaker
But do you think that that's more generational? Because I feel like in general, even when I was in college, I feel like it was just a harsher world. We're like, now I don't think that it's quite the same. It's harsh, yeah. I don't know why, but it makes me think of the movie. I can't think of what it's called, but it's like the ballet or the dance movie. Oh, save the love. Save the love. Well, they're so hard on the dancers. Yes.
00:27:03
Speaker
That was the world like Julia Stiles one where she has the big dance at the end of one of the best movies of all time ever. Yeah, but like if the last dance right was it saved the last dance but I actually do feel like that was definitely our generation. It was a lot harsher and there weren't as many filters and I think that people were a lot harder now. It's definitely a little different.
00:27:29
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. Hailey, did you ever face rejection that was really hard? Yeah. So I obviously ran college track. I think in general, running for Ohio State, which was division one, nothing I did was good enough. I would never be to the caliber that I should have been, even though if you stuck me in any other city, I would be the best of the best or I'd have ever record.
00:27:59
Speaker
I think being in a division one college setting and still doing what I was doing, it was never good enough. That was really difficult because I was like giving my life to that sport. And like anyone that ran over an 800 at the time had to run cross country. So I ran track, indoor, outdoor, cross country.
00:28:22
Speaker
So like a lot, but I mean, eventually like, yeah, that's why I broke my foot. Like I, you know,
Exploring Self-Rejection
00:28:27
Speaker
you can't do that much, but it's like, no matter what I was doing, like I was running 60 miles a week at minimum at times so much. It's so crazy when I think back to that. Cause even what I was doing, it still wasn't enough, you know, like where you just feel like, yeah, you're never good enough. You're never, it's like, but anything that I do is literally just going to be not good enough for any of these people.
00:28:51
Speaker
As an athlete, I had coaches who were like, oh, you need to do this. You need to do this. You should be this weight. Whatever. I would be like, I can't physically lose more weight. I'm starving. I'm running so much. I'm literally starving. I never felt like I was accomplishing anything. I think that's a different angle maybe.
00:29:18
Speaker
There is like an element of something that I learned about earlier today, which is self rejection, which is when you reject yourself so that other people cannot reject you. It's like a protective protective. So it's like, it's a part of like giving up, but it's also a part of just not fulfilling your desires because you're scared of rejection, right? You're like, you are not putting yourself out there to the potential that you could be because you are,
00:29:46
Speaker
you have a failure, or yeah, you're afraid of failure. So you don't even try. Which they actually say like fear is like the biggest thing that like makes everyone fail. Like, right, if you're too afraid to go do something, then it never gets done. Yeah. Yeah. There's no way it is but it's also a self a form of self restriction. 100% the biggest thing that can
00:30:12
Speaker
stop you from doing anything is fear obviously if you're too afraid to try you won't try so then you don't even know if you could if you could do it yeah so net you have so many actors and they're constantly putting themselves out there and nine times out of ten if not more it's not leading to what they feel like is success
00:30:34
Speaker
What do you tell your actors in order to help guide them to continue on? Like how do you what advice do you give them to not give up essentially is what I'm asking.
00:30:47
Speaker
You know, I tell my actors, in a perfect world, you just got to brush it off. And the minute you walk out that door, the minute you forget about it. So you can't take this business too personally. That's probably number one. And that is the hardest thing any actor will sort of have to sort of get over, is that the minute you audition, the minute you sort of put it out there, and the minute it's all done is the minute you got to forget about it. You have to be strong enough to know, you know, I did my best and that's it.
00:31:14
Speaker
I'm going to give you a pat on the back because I believe in you because I'm your agent, but not casting and producers might not. So you have to say, all right, on to the next. So how do you get to a point though where you're like, we're not booking anything. It's not working.
00:31:32
Speaker
And then you have to essentially let that person go. And like, what's that like? Uh, it's not easy. You know, we, as agents, invest a lot of time in our emotions, sort of into clients too. And at some point we have to decide, you know, it's a business, you know, it's time to par ways and it's unfortunate. And look, I even get my own rejection. You know, I'll be honest with you. I had an instance just this week where I signed a client and a month later she dropped me out of nowhere.
00:32:02
Speaker
with no reason whatsoever. I too suffer my own rejection. When my actors don't book, I also too feel rejected. Overjected. Yeah, absolutely. But that's a thing. At some point, you just expect it and you do become conditioned. You gave me such entourage vibes though and you're like, it's the business.
00:32:27
Speaker
I mean, some people have referred to me as the female RA gold, but we don't know. I'll say honey, it's time to wrap it up. I have a question for you guys. So I guess your industry is like you just take as many shots as possible hoping that one finally lands, right? I don't know. I was reading about this earlier today and I was thinking about it and this idea of
00:32:53
Speaker
putting yourself out there for something like maybe it's a role or it's a title or it's a new job or it's like you're asking someone on a date and you just put yourself out there and then the idea is like you immediately just cut off all emotion that's tied to it right yep and i think like a big part of rejection is the disappointment
00:33:14
Speaker
that comes with maybe putting yourself out there and not landing the way that you wanted it to. How do you guys feel about this culture of trying something and putting yourself out there and then immediately having to turn yourself off because we're too afraid of the feeling of disappointment?
00:33:33
Speaker
How do you guys feel about that? Is that healthy? I know not for you, it's business. You have to do it because it's a monetary thing, but away from the monetary thing, how do you guys feel about that just as people? Is that healthy to do that to ourselves? I don't think so at all. I think part of living in this world is adapting to being rejected, but also that forms who you are. I can't say I am who I am today because I didn't face some rejection.
00:34:03
Speaker
So if I completely shut myself up every single time that I was rejected, I wouldn't necessarily be the person I am standing today. That's sort of just what life is. Life is sort of a big chunk of it is being rejected and sort of just picking yourself back up. I think it's kind of important too. I think for me personally, I mean, honestly, even us doing this podcast,
00:34:29
Speaker
was us putting ourselves out there. It's our personalities and everyone can say whatever they want to say about us. But if I sat there and really just got so upset about all the mean things that obviously there have been not nice things said, you know who you are. Hi, friends. Thanks for streaming. Stream to stream.
00:34:59
Speaker
If I sat there and dwelled on it, I don't know. I just stopped caring about what other people think and I don't think it's that healthy to sit there and dwell on everyone else's opinion on what you're doing.
00:35:16
Speaker
I'm not sure if I'm answering the question correctly at this point. I think you are because you're saying that when you put yourself out there, even if disappointing news comes, there is something beneficial does happen if you cut it off.
00:35:35
Speaker
If you put up that wall between you and the result, to use the podcast is another example. Obviously, people have been saying mean things in their own circles. For instance, we, Haley and Heather and I have talked about it. We're having just like
00:35:56
Speaker
actually so much fun doing this and it's so fulfilling to us on an individual level that really anything that mean that anyone could say isn't really affecting us in the way it could. So I don't know. I do think that there is something beneficial that does happen by putting up an emotional role and saying like, okay, I'm I'm separating myself and not letting and not letting myself feel
00:36:24
Speaker
as affected by the result of or the outcome of something, right? Because if you do, you will stop doing what you're trying to do. And right for every one person that hates you.
00:36:36
Speaker
three people might love you. So you just keep, sorry, I don't mean to cut in again, but like that's something that we've talked about. I've talked about extensively at least like, I wanted to say talked about maybe lectured my friends, but like there is an audience for everything and there's someone that's going to appreciate and relate to everyone. Like your story is valid. What is happening to you is valid. And you as maybe an actor and a person or anyone that puts yourself out there in any capacity,
00:37:04
Speaker
your experience, your education, whatever it is, you are valid. You just have to find the right fit. And you're going to get a lot of no's and it might get a lot of hate until you figure out exactly where you fit. But you're never going to find out where you fit unless you keep trying wake up every day. This is my ultimate goal. Like I'm just going to keep putting this out there. I'm just going to keep putting myself out there. Yeah.
00:37:32
Speaker
To chime in, I think there's some sense of empowerment there too. There's some sense of you sort of rejecting rejection in and of itself is just a way of saying to yourself, I don't care. You know what I mean? I'm going to continue to press on with my endeavors regardless of what's out there, kind of canceling out the noise.
00:37:55
Speaker
That's your own sense of individuality and almost sort of formulates who you are as a person in and of itself. That's so funny. You seem more interesting. Yeah. Obviously, a lot of that comes with age. I
Recommendations and Personal Interests
00:38:11
Speaker
remember being super young and being at my dance lessons. And my mom, there were all the dance moms were so whatever. And my mom was like, I just remember her being like,
00:38:25
Speaker
I just don't care. I don't care about any of it. They were so clicky whenever my mom was so like, whatever. And she was like, and I remember just being like, I'm stuck. And she was like, trust me, when you reach a certain age, you just don't care anymore.
00:38:44
Speaker
I think I might be at that age. This is it. Mom was right. Yup. Mom was right. All right. Well, should we get into our top eight? Yes. Let's do it. Not. Do you want to hit the first one? I know you brought a few grass. I did bring a few for you guys today. I was kind of excited about it.
00:39:04
Speaker
No, Natalie has really great suggestions. I'll start with my new favorite face cream that I spent an arm and a leg on. The Tatcha Dewy Skin Cream is 11 out of 10.
00:39:17
Speaker
Is it? I think I've had a sample. It's like pretty like nice and thick and good for like winter. Yes. I want to try it. Yeah. Super good. Save your pennies. It comes in like a blue bottle or something. Yeah. It's like purple. It looks like an apple or something. It looks like an apple. It's got like a, it's got like a little spoon with it. So you like take the spoon off and you'd like put it in and like, I love like when it comes like a little, little accessories, packaging is just pretty beautiful. Yeah.
00:39:43
Speaker
Worth every penny. Haley, do you have number two? Yes. So I don't know who out there sent me this. Someone anonymously sent me this book called Lighter by Young Pablo. Oh. I got it. Seriously? Do you have no idea who sent you that book? No. That's hysterical.
00:40:12
Speaker
That's what I'm saying. Show your work. Show up. Tell me who you are. I have one guess of who it might be and it's someone that's a fucking creepy man. I'm going to hope it's not, but it's him and me. That's funny. If you're listening, just know I read page one and I was shooketh. Shooketh.
00:40:40
Speaker
I follow that author, he's good. Yeah, he is really good, but whoever did it, I think it was for a nice reason, and thank you. Number three, I recently went to this art show here in San Francisco, and I bought this book. It's called Daily Self-Portraits from 1972 to 1973 by Melissa Schuch, and I feel like it's kind of like an OG, kind of like Kim K. Selfie book.
00:41:08
Speaker
this woman to selfies like every day and I think as modern youngish people we get a lot of shit for like taking selfies and wanting to document things every day but yeah the human inclination to document the things that are around us has been prevalent for centuries decades whatever like
00:41:28
Speaker
since I think since the beginning of mankind, we've wanted to document the things that we see and what's going on around us and like our own lives. Like we feel like our own experiences are significant, even if we're sharing it. Yeah. But even if it's just like our bodies and like we want to take a photo of it, we want to, we want to just kind
00:41:48
Speaker
capture it, even if it's not to share with anyone. I mean, maybe one day we'll end up in a coffee table book, but maybe one day, we take selfies and we document and we take pictures of what we eat and our pets and our kids and our surroundings and we buy something new and we style it perfectly in our homes. And we're like, oh my God, that's so cool. And we take a picture of it. We just video ourselves. We video ourselves.
00:42:12
Speaker
This book and others, it just goes to show that this is human nature, and in and of ourselves, our body is just waking up every day as art. Honestly. It's a memory. I mean, it really is. Honestly, it is. How far do you want to artistically do it? This book is great. If you want to order it, don't order it on Amazon. Resist, but I am going to link it on Amazon down below. There you go. Number four, I feel like yours was deep.
00:42:39
Speaker
I always go deep. Actually, I'll go deep. I just finished Paris Hilton's memoir, Paris. I was pleasantly surprised by how hilarious she is, how much life this woman has lived. I love her. And her business savvy and
00:43:04
Speaker
The book, I got it on Audible, so it was fun to just listen to her speak as well. She recorded it with her own voice. She recorded it with her own voice and the tales this woman has told and the fight that she has sort of had to fight on her own. She fully recognizes how privileged she was growing up, but the struggles that she too also kind of
00:43:30
Speaker
had herself while growing up in the early 2000s and kind of what her parents put her through was just outrageous. So I laughed, I cried, and I would recommend it to everybody. Thank you, Natalie. Yes. Well, I'm going to sound shout out. Per usual, here I come with the light one.
00:43:54
Speaker
Um, I don't know if you guys have watched summer house. Yes. I have a big summer house fan. I fucking am so obsessed with that show. Like, yes.
00:44:05
Speaker
I can't stop watching it. I'm missing all the new episodes of the other shows that I watch because I'm binging that show. What's not to love about Summerhouse? It's seven of your best friends that you get into a house that play in the pool and drink and all the drama and stuff. It's like the real world all over again, but like current New York and like
00:44:31
Speaker
I feel like New York, like East Coasters are so much more real about stuff. Like West Coast will kind of dance around the problem. Like East Coast people will just point it out. God, it's so good. Anyways, yeah. I stand for that. I fucking love that show. Anyways, if you haven't watched it, you should. I am going to highlight a cocktail that I recently
00:44:58
Speaker
I'm really a big fan of. It's an older cocktail called the French 75. I'm a big champagne drinker, so I wanted to find another type of champagne cocktail that could spritz up my drink portfolio, if you will. That was like you broke your dry January with that cocktail. Do you even drink anymore? What was that like?
00:45:24
Speaker
We're like drowning over here. I know. I finished my Pino. What was that like? The Pino or the French 75? It was dry January. It was dry January? What was that like?
00:45:42
Speaker
Do not recommend. Do not pass. What was your third year in a row doing dry January? That was actually a choice. You chose to do that. Honestly, you feel really great, but it was a pretty long month. For whatever reason, this was like
00:46:03
Speaker
Last year, I was like, oh, this is fine. I didn't really have too many struggles in January. There was a lot of struggles this January. Well, you had a few social settings. Yeah. No, thank you. I broke it with the French 75. It's two ounces of gin, an ounce of lemon juice, a half ounce of
00:46:24
Speaker
a simple syrup and you shake that all up and then you do a champagne float and you do a little lemon twist and it's chef's kiss.
00:46:34
Speaker
Yeah. Well, so those gin drinkers out there, no, me and Rachel actually have become gin drinkers. Number seven on our topic is dim. If you suffer with like high estrogen, it's a supplement and it helps process. Okay. So I have like fibroids and my, um, titties. So they get really, really fucking sore. Um,
00:47:03
Speaker
throughout my cycle, like several times a month, they get really like painfully sore. And so I started taking dim and it helps and they don't hurt anymore. So if you have a sword, titties, take them. If you got this sort of titties, take them, take it. I don't have a round it's out. Do you actually know my, mine, mine are good.
00:47:32
Speaker
I love it. That's funny. Take us home, Natalie. What's up with number eight? All right. Take us home. Last but not least are the YSL Calista sunglasses in Havana that I'm like super obsessed with. If I had like an extra $500 lying around, although I'm sure you can probably find it for like half off or something at like off Saks
00:47:51
Speaker
off sachs fifth or like what is it off the fifth. We don't talk about that. Not on this podcast. All right. Some discount eyewear, but it's the YSL 633 Calista Sunnies, and they're just like the perfect summer cat eye.
00:48:14
Speaker
I love that. Do you see? Well, no Piazzazzi this week, but I'm pretty sure Hailey and I will have a really good story for you guys after being in New York. Yeah. Just drinking martinis. I can't wait to hear about it. I'm going to be on Times Square. We're going to be fermenting the entire time. Like I have a feeling like I'm going to come home half fermented. Just make sure you drink lots of water. Mom over here. I'm going to book a few commercials after this. Perfect.
00:48:44
Speaker
I love it. Thank you so much for joining us. Heather, we missed you. We will see everyone next week. We love you. Thank you for having me.