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He's just Ken, so he needs a Trad-Wife
87 Plays1 year ago
On this week's episode we explore modern womanhood and it's intersection with traditional gender roles. We deep dive into the Trad-Wife phenomena including what it means for the women staying at home and the men that have to financially support them in such a tight economy. Is the Trad-Wife life aspirational? Or is it just a fantasy fueled by the Male Loneliness Epidemic?
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Transcript
Introductions and 'Like' Jar Idea
00:00:06
Speaker
Welcome back to the Audacity podcast. I am your host, Rachel, with my other host. I'm like, damn, I should have just said co-host. What's fresh, huh? No, no, that's so good. It's like in Ron Burgundy when I am Ron Burgundy. I am your host. Okay, little friends. Hi, this is Rachel, co-host with Hailey and Heather.
00:00:35
Speaker
Welcome back. All I'm thinking about right now is another week of being like, don't say like, don't say like, don't say like. And I know during this podcast, I'm probably going to say it at least what 40 times. At least minimum per person, per person within the first 30 minutes. Oh my gosh. We should, we should get a like sponsor.
00:00:58
Speaker
Oh, yeah. So like every time every time we say like something happens, maybe you donate to charity. Exactly. A like jar.
00:01:07
Speaker
That would be cool. That would be cool and they have to be natural. Hailey, I like how Rachel and I have just continued to disregard Hailey. Say every time you drink because we're not going to do that. We're not drinking. We're jumping into charity. Good causes only, okay? That would be so dangerous that we wouldn't make it 10 minutes. Well, how's everyone's week? Hailey, what have you been up to?
Hailey's Awkward Date Stories
00:01:33
Speaker
Currently dealing with a bit of an illness.
00:01:36
Speaker
That's okay. You look so cute. Like stay sick. All right. I'm fine. You look great. Thank you. I won't in about 30 minutes. So, um, no, I, so I was in a bit of a dating rut. So I decided to go back out there. Big mistake. The last one in particular was.
00:02:03
Speaker
Something else about it. We need to know. Yeah. Super cute guy. Met him on hinge. Uh, seemed really, really normal. We met at a bar in Santa Monica, like happy hour time. Everything was like going pretty well for a while. I honestly kind of forgot how old he was. Cause my thing is set up to like, I think it's,
00:02:29
Speaker
30 to 45 maybe. Yeah. Hailey likes the young ones. Well, not for long. It was like going pretty well for a while. And then he's like, I mean, you look really good for like how old you are. And I was like, Oh, I was like, thanks. And how old are you again? And I was like, I was like 36. And this guy's 30, which I,
00:02:56
Speaker
I honestly didn't remember like how old he was. Like they know they're all around like somewhere in there. And, and then we start talking about, um, like college, right? So I'm telling a story about, I'm telling a story from my freshman year of college. And he goes, Oh, that's weird. I think I was in like seven, three. Oh, you stay it like that. Well, the way to romance that age. He felt like.
00:03:23
Speaker
the ick was I was just like, No, no, if they weren't like, at least in high school while I was in high school, then I don't. He was so like, Yeah, so I think I was in like seventh or eighth grade. I'm doing keg stands in college in your seventh grade math, like, nope.
00:03:49
Speaker
Oh, and then he starts to say, he starts to tell me that the last girl that he was on a date with was 42. And again, he's telling me how good I look, how I don't have a wrinkle in my forehead and all this shit. I'm like- Does he have a kink? There's a big difference between 36 and 42. What is- There's a big difference- Well, that's strawberries for him because he's 30. Yeah. Okay.
00:04:19
Speaker
This goes back to Rachel's little story about the San Francisco guys always wanting to kiss on the first date. Mind you, we're sitting at the bar next to each other.
00:04:31
Speaker
He grabs my hand, which at first was before the old comments, but I was like, oh, that's nice. It's just before the old comments. She was like, this is why she thought he was charming. Oh, okay. Okay, perfect. Okay, my friend. You guys, then, oh my God. He's holding my hand. I was like,
00:04:57
Speaker
And then he goes in.
Embarrassing Dating Moments
00:04:59
Speaker
I literally can barely tell the story. He leans in to kiss me and it was like a slow-mo, like. I was like talking mid-sentence and he's slowly leaning in. And I was like, what the fuck? I was like, so then I was like, well, no, I don't know what else to do. So I just kissed him and I have never, and I mean ever been with a guy
00:05:26
Speaker
Who's allowed. He's a pecker. No, but a loud pecker at that point. It was humiliating. I was like, Oh my God. Oh my God. I was like, first of all, I don't do this shit to begin with, let alone with let's announce it to the whole bar. It was so embarrassing.
00:05:52
Speaker
You're really given new meaning to the term, humiliating pecker. It gets worse. It gets worse. I thought it's already like my nightmare, but okay. Wow. It gets worse. So then he like tries to like grab my hand again and puts it down by his leg. It then moves it over to the inner thigh and I was like, Oh hell the fuck no. Like
00:06:18
Speaker
You can just imagine what I could feel on my little forearm. Oh yeah. And then afterwards, it's like, you should just always recognize a red flag from the beginning. If somebody tells you that they have a tendency to get too drunk on a first date, I thought I was bad, but my lord, I don't act like that.
00:06:44
Speaker
Uh, yeah, he, he was like, could I just like crash at your house? That was just like, no, no, no, no, I'm going home. Okay. I didn't, I didn't remember. I was telling you about like the older guy that I was like trying to kiss me and like, I'm saying like again, but that's when I had this realization where I'm like, I was like, I don't want to kiss people on the first date. I didn't tell you guys. He made like little moaning noises. He was like,
00:07:14
Speaker
I don't even know you and you're making little moony noises. I'm like, obviously we've never met before, but you've thought about this before because there's no reason to make it.
00:07:34
Speaker
This noise
Exploring the Tradwife Phenomenon
00:07:35
Speaker
it took me back to like whenever like me and Josh actually had a conversation a while back where we were saying You know what if they're a bad kisser you cannot fix a bad kisser. That's just no You really can't you guys do you want to hear something embarrassing? always I
00:08:01
Speaker
It's like, okay, you know, I'm taking this whole dating thing way too seriously. I'm like, you know, just like, I need some, some casual guys. So I'm a bumble and I like the sky and then it matches me like after that. And I don't have notifications on, so I don't see it. And then by the time I go back onto bumble, cause I guess you only have 24 hours to talk to someone, right? Oh, I didn't know that.
00:08:30
Speaker
Yeah. So when I go back onto Bumble, like it's already expired and they're like, well for 11 99, you can rematch. So I'd pay the 11 99.
00:08:42
Speaker
And, and so I'm like, okay, cool. So now I can talk to him. So like, now I can like reach out, whatever. So I, the first thing I write, the first thing I write this guy is I just paid 11 99 to talk to you. And I go to write the second line of something funny to follow up with. And I can't no double texts.
00:09:01
Speaker
right? So all I came up with was I just paid $11.99 to talk to you, which was the opening to my joke, right? The opening to like myself deprecating like, hey, like cutesy, like little thing. And I'm like, okay, well, fuck. It's like, fuck, I can't even like make a joke about this. He's like, all right, cheap ass.
00:09:27
Speaker
Big spender Big spender so I go back today and I'm like I'm just gonna see and he's unmatched me and I was like this makes sense This is probably the dorkiest thing that's ever happened to me for my entire life
00:09:45
Speaker
Cool. Cool, cool, cool. Can you pay $11.99 again? Just to like fit live. An extra $11.99 to be like, hey, just to like send a follow up note here. That wasn't the entire joke. Wasn't over. I didn't realize that I only had one line to shoot my shot after paying $11.99.
00:10:07
Speaker
You would think after spending money you would have at least a couple lines to shoot your shot. It was like one and done. You gotta shoot your shot immediately or you're done. Oh my gosh. That's really good. That's good. They got you. They got you. They got me. They got me. And you know what? I was like, tail between my legs. I was like, you know what?
00:10:26
Speaker
I think I'm good with internet dating for the week. And I'm just like, and this is a guy, I'm like, oh, I'm not even serious. I'm not even that serious about it. Like this is a joke. This is funny. Like maybe we'll make out. No, not even close. Jokes on you. Jokes on me. I need some fine print. Yeah, they do. Fine print that. Rules of engagement, okay. Who has paid what tier? Because I will say that I'm like the top tier of paying.
00:10:51
Speaker
Okay, I need to go buy Bumble Stock because if they're getting people like that, like, I got got it. That's more than a damn book on Audible. One line. It's like the characters, right? Yeah, it's like that. I got got it. Wow.
00:11:14
Speaker
Wow. How about you Heather? How are things? I hope better than not. No, actually they're not, but for different reasons and stories for other times. But you know, we're here. We're good. I'm ready for 2025.
00:11:38
Speaker
So it has not been a very dry January for me. It's been quite wet, but that's okay. That's okay. I'm probably like a damp January. Yeah, mine hasn't been very damp. It was. The first two weeks, I was like really good. But that's okay. Other than that, we're good.
Gender Representation in Media
00:12:00
Speaker
Liv, I turned seven tomorrow, which is, I know, my little Liv. She got so big. She did. Oh my gosh. Speaking of big, this is like, and then we'll move on. I noticed Barrett the other day. I was like, damn kid, you look tall. And I typically like, I'll measure them periodically, but I always measure them on their birthday. And like, I have it on the laundry room door and like whatever. And I'll put the date. And so in December I measured Barrett.
00:12:30
Speaker
in one month, I measured him yesterday, two days ago, he grew over an inch since December, just over a month, since December 11th. Yes. He grew over- Since his birthday, he's grew an inch. Literally in like 40 days. So he must be as tall as you now. No, he's five one, but I mean, at like- Close.
00:12:52
Speaker
I was like, I don't know what that feels like. So by the end of the year, he's probably going to be as tall as you, if not taller. Five inches is a lot in one year. He just grew an inch in 40 days. I know. I was like, that's crazy. And you think it can happen. I was like, are your knees okay? Do you feel okay?
00:13:12
Speaker
And then of course, you know, I have to like spin it. And I was like, see, you've been getting extra rust. Like you grow and you sing. Yeah. Like I could see his little wheels turning like, huh, if I turn my Oculus off earlier. He's like one of those little green pets. What are this called? Do you have pets? Sure. Yep, that's Barrett. And this is why Haley has no kids.
00:13:41
Speaker
Didn't you recently kill a moss ball? Oh, that was sad. Yeah. We have this ball of moss that she kept in a little water jar. Her name was Kate Moss. And she had different outfits. Yes. Oh my god. She had a little beanie. She had a cowboy hat. And then I put her too close to the sun, and next thing I know, gone. Oh my god. They didn't tell me that. But even succulents can't survive here.
00:14:12
Speaker
In your house? Yeah, around me. Oh my gosh. In your house? I'm really doing wonders. You're such a capital of California. I'm like, who wouldn't want to date me? I was like, were all of the Arizona nurseries actually grow their plants in California?
00:14:34
Speaker
I love that for you, Haley. OK, did you guys see the Oscar nominations and how Barbie was kind of left out? So I guess Margot Robbie and Greta Gertweig. I think it's I say her last name. She's the director. They were both not adequately nominated. I think Margot for best actress.
00:14:58
Speaker
Yes, Margot for best actress and then Greta for best director. And I guess it was quite the snub. There are a lot of memes and tweets and commentary by people being like, of course, Ryan Gosling, who played Ken in the movie, got the nomination for best actor. But Margot Robbie, who played Barbie, did not get nomination.
00:15:23
Speaker
Yeah, they're like, this is literally the movie. I did see a few comments and was kind of thinking about it myself. Like, just because movies break records, and they have box office weekends, doesn't always mean that
00:15:44
Speaker
the quality or the caliber or the acting or the directing is on par and worthy of an Oscar nom. However, I personally think, well, I'm just biased to Margarabi because I think she's like perfection. But like I do actually think that the movie was good enough for, I think like the director
00:16:07
Speaker
It's a worthy nom. But yeah, it's kind of ironic that like, of course, the whole premise. Well, so this also is not the first time that Greta has directed a movie that was up for Best Picture where she was not nominated for Best Director. And the other one was Little Women. So she does. She is a director who
00:16:35
Speaker
does tell stories from like a feminine perspective or a woman's perspective. And there's something to be said that, you know, people think that movie should be like this serious thing. And something told from a female's perspective, a woman's perspective definitely couldn't be serious enough for a nomination, and especially not something as frivolous as as like love in Little Women or in Barbie, where it's talking about like,
00:17:06
Speaker
Just the people experience. Correct. Both of those themes just seem so frivolous, right? When it's compared to murder and war and drama, bombs.
00:17:24
Speaker
So actually, she is so there's some controversy in kind of looking into this. I guess Disney is doing a Snow White. They're remaking Snow White and it's like Gal Gadot is in it. What's Rachel Ziegler Ziegler is Snow White. And I guess they started filming and I could be wrong like 2020, 2021.
00:17:49
Speaker
It was set to come out in March of 2024. And then some people are saying now it's getting pushed to 2025. There's like some Gal Gadot stuff going on. I don't know what's going on. But there was a ton of backlash because
00:18:05
Speaker
when they asked the main character, Angel, Rachel, Angel about this version. And it's also Greta. So Greta, they brought Greta in to co-direct and co-write after halfway through. They said that it's going to be a different Snow White. And when asked about it, she said the interviewer was like, different how? And she's like, she's not going to be saved.
00:18:32
Speaker
She's not dreaming about the love. She's not dreaming about being someone's wife. She's dreaming about being a leader. She knows she can be the leader her father
00:18:43
Speaker
and told her she could be if she was fearless, brave, fair and true. And apparently the individual who was interviewing her had a whole lot to say about it in this article that was written and just dragged Disney for not casting a white Snow White and for changing this whole, the 1930s version of Snow White and you know,
00:19:09
Speaker
just basically trying to say that they're tearing down the ideals of marriage and it's just it's the same narrative. It's around women being strong and so therefore like we're not really interested in it. Yeah, I also think it's cool sometimes to have a different take on an old story because what's the point in telling the same story over and over again with better
00:19:30
Speaker
Effects in different actors like you need to be able to tell a story from a different perspective with a different ending and like What could have happened if the main character viewed themselves a little bit differently? How could the outcome have been changed like yeah, and I think that that's exactly what I
00:19:47
Speaker
maybe her interpretation is we have evolved and we sure as heck have evolved. I mean, Snow White is a German fairy tale from even before Disney's first interpretation of it in the 30s. Right. And so now it's like
00:20:02
Speaker
Yeah, like what women do in women's role in society has completely changed. And so why not? What is wrong with a young girl being inspired by her late father? Like, hey, you were you are
00:20:19
Speaker
made for more. What is wrong with that? It's not saying that wanting love and wanting to be married is a bad thing, but it's also, why is wanting more a bad thing? Yeah. That's a really good question. But I also think you can't really blame that movie for making marriage not look like a glorious thing when society's already done that. Yeah. Look at the divorce rates.
00:20:48
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, if anything, the movie is just tracking like pop culture. It's like, you know, tapping into what's kind of already happening. I have recently become really fascinated by the trad wife phenomena, which is women who want to live what they're calling, quote, a traditional
00:21:12
Speaker
lifestyle. Traditional wife. Yeah. And play a traditional role within their family. But I mean, it's even some women are saying this like they're not even married yet, right?
Tradwife Content Audience Analysis
00:21:22
Speaker
It's just something that they aspire to. But then there's a lot of women who are married, have children or are different phases of their relationship status who are
00:21:33
Speaker
creating a lot of content and commentary on what it means to live this lifestyle and basically teaching other women their ideals and their
00:21:46
Speaker
Yeah, I guess religion is even part of it, plays a big role. So I think a lot of it is, most of it is around, to your point Rachel, it's like this word that they coined stands for traditional wife, but it's like a stay at home mom or a stay at home wife, stay at home girlfriend. And it's really centered around cooking, cleaning, laundry,
00:22:11
Speaker
Um, just kind of getting back to that, like submissive marriage, uh, fifties era conservative, like curl your hair, do your makeup, have dinner cooked. And I don't think that there's anything wrong with leaving a career or putting, you know, going to school, getting your degree, getting your masters, your doctorate, and then saying,
00:22:38
Speaker
I'm going to focus on meeting my family's needs in our home. I don't personally think that there is anything wrong with that. I think that it's super admirable to go and, and even if you don't have these accredited degrees, but to say, you know what, this is what I want to do and I'm going to put my family in a better position and that makes sense for me.
00:23:04
Speaker
I don't see anything wrong with that. I think that that's, you got to do what A, what you want to do and what your family needs. I just also know that in today's society, today's economy, it's hard to have a single income home, right? And so- Impossible. Yeah, it's really hard. But this narrative that
00:23:30
Speaker
that is a bad thing, I think people love jumping on, right? They love like, oh, feminists don't want you to meet your family's needs or somehow people have kind of
00:23:42
Speaker
they love just like making it about being anti-family and anti women who stay home. And that is also like, I don't know, I don't think it's kind of like garbage. I think a lot of the stuff I have seen is women saying, and these are like the trad wife creators, obviously like I don't know any people who would self proclaim as like a trad wife today in my inner circle, I don't think.
00:24:12
Speaker
Um, but I see a lot of them saying, you know, women these days are willing to put pretty much anything in front of their family. And it's, it's admirable to like make all these concessions and to bend over backwards and do all these other things for everything else in your life, career, whatever it is. But if you are seen to put your family first, that's seen in a negative light. Um,
00:24:40
Speaker
I actually, I didn't ask my friend for permission to like tell her stories. I'm going to talk a little bit on this, but I do have a friend who, um, I mean, we're in our mid thirties. So she just had her first kid at, I think around 35. And she was making the tough call of like, whether or not she was going to go back to work, um, after having her first child and her and her husband.
00:25:05
Speaker
weighed a lot of the pros and the cons, and she ultimately decided to go back to work. And she decided that was going to be what was going to meet her family's immediate goals and what they were trying to do. And something that she said to me that was really resounding was, when you have a child at 35,
00:25:32
Speaker
You're giving up a whole career that is completely different than if you had a child at 25 or at 22. Like she's like, I've been working towards something for so long and to just throw that away or to put that on hold. And like, when my, my salary is equal to my husband's salary, like that's so much money. And she's like, we would be making major sacrifices for our lifestyle that I'm just like not ready to do.
00:26:02
Speaker
And I don't think that being realistic like that
00:26:06
Speaker
is selfish in any way. And like, you know, her daughter goes to childcare currently and, you know, they've figured out their way and she's happy and thriving. And I think that making decisions about what's right for your family and ultimately that money, where's that money going? It's like that money is ultimately going to be reinvested in your child's life and their quality of life and ultimately what they're able to do in their later years, right? Like when it comes to
00:26:36
Speaker
Them going to college or you know playing on sports teams or whatever like that money isn't just like, you know She's like going on vacations or like eating and drinking in a way or like, you know what I mean? It's like yeah, I think that Whatever your choice is. I think we all as humans could do a little bit better to just kind of respect each other's place or respect each other to make the decisions that are
00:27:04
Speaker
correct for ourselves. Right. And I think like that is the root of what feminism is, is like respecting women to make their own choices. Period. Absolutely. Yeah. You know, one thing that was like really jarring to me though, was that it said tradwives, the new trend for submissive women. And, and then there was a bunch of, you know, the age old,
00:27:34
Speaker
Ephesians, I don't even know the exact verse, but about like a wife must submit to her husband. And of course, no mention of
00:27:45
Speaker
the first part of the verse where it's like your husband's job is to love you into submission. When it comes to, I think the definition of a traditional wife and a traditional marriage and all this stuff, there are a lot of requirements for what it means to be the wife, but no one's talking about what it means to be the husband supporting this whole operation.
00:28:07
Speaker
because if you want a traditional wife and you want kids and you want to do this whole thing, who's providing for all this? Who's making all this happen? Yeah, I don't know where you live, but if you live where I live, you better be making at least 200k if you want a family based on
00:28:25
Speaker
the quality of this content. I mean, the chicks are, her hair's done, her nails are done. Like, that costs money to keep up. And if she's at home with a roast in the oven, because I'll tell you how much I'll tell you how much a prime roast costs. It is not it's not 1299. You're talking like even at freaking fries, you're talking about $75 roast, you know, like prime roast in the oven, home and you know, kicking her oven door closed with her cute little heel and her little cardigan bind up and her big old titties and her cinched waist and her
00:28:55
Speaker
forehead pulled back like girl looks good, like straight out of the 50s, looking good nails. And I'm like, that's not cheap to upkeep. Yeah. The other really interesting thing was that when this agency and I forget the agency name, but they were looking at the analytics of some of these tradwives. And most of the viewers and the people who are engaging with this content are men.
00:29:22
Speaker
And, and it's not women. And so it's almost this like, fetish like they're saying that. So see that. Yeah, yeah. It's not women like, Oh, I want to see what this one I want to, you know, get this woman's recipe and like, she, she, she curls her hair. They were talking about how that
00:29:43
Speaker
the numbers, literally who is watching this? It's this whole demographic of the male, it's the male loneliness epidemic is what they called it. Under the age of 45, there are a ton of men who are childless, lonely, resorting to, it's a known thing and it fits the demographic of who is
00:30:08
Speaker
watching, watching this. So basically they want like their mother or like, it's like that kind of like yearning. Oh, whoa, that was an angle there. But yeah, I know. Yeah, they're like, they're yearning for their mother to come home. Well, I think it's like them. Well, I think it's I think what it is, it's yearning to be taken care of, right? Yeah, it's your need to be taken care of and it takes care of them.
00:30:34
Speaker
Before we get too far away from this, I saw this comment on Reddit and the comment says, I remember seeing somewhere someone comparing the blogs of tradwife women and then the trad or alpha males in general style and aesthetic and how telling it was. The women's overall aesthetic was softly colored pictures of fields and flowers while the men's was basically porn. That's exactly.
00:31:03
Speaker
women yeah that's exactly yeah yeah of course i mean and they're like longing for like this soft life to be taken care of and i mean it's just i mean the whole thing is like a fucking fantasy isn't it yes 100 it's just like a fantasy and it's like and that's okay like i'm not that's to me not even a problem
00:31:23
Speaker
I'm okay with, listen, I've done it all. I've worked full time. I've supported myself as someone who was single. I got married. I was still working. I had a child and so working and then I stopped. I would never call myself a tradwife, but let me just call you up.
00:31:43
Speaker
I don't ever think in my 12 years of marriage, I really ever said no. Okay, I cooked, I cleaned like the whole Cardi B song. I did all the things. She doesn't cook or clean. Yeah, that's it. I did all the things. I don't cook or clean. So I get it. And like, and that's okay. Like for me personally, again, I see nothing wrong with
00:32:09
Speaker
with understanding what your family's needs are and saying, my family needs me home, my kids need me home. And if I am, my God, fortunate enough to be in that position, if my husband or my partner, my family, whoever's helping us financially can afford me that opportunity, then that's amazing. Kudos. I don't see that. I'd never knock that.
00:32:34
Speaker
But again, it's this, for me, the issue is where it becomes, it's like this fetish from these, dare I say, men who want that, who want that, but can't provide for that lifestyle. You go and you can provide for that, then cool. Go find your little tradwife. But don't, to your point, Rachel,
00:32:59
Speaker
What content are you consuming? Okay. Can I just tell you something? Whenever you guys first brought up the topic, I was like, so did not really understand like what we were talking about. So I Googled it, the things that were coming up. It was like, where do you find a trad wife?
00:33:18
Speaker
It was like the dumbest stuff, but yeah. I was just like- We're trying to find one, though, because I kind of want one. Christian- I'm right! I'm like, where could I find a tradwife? Are you going to say Christian Mingle? Christian Mingle? But honestly, no, maybe not even that, because I feel like- You guys, should I get on Christian Mingle? Because sometimes I'm like, I could be a tradwife. Listen, I'm like, this sounds pretty okay. Are you kidding? Rachel wouldn't be already. She would be like, all right, how do we make a business out of this?
00:33:48
Speaker
I already know. I already know. We know who's consuming the content. Hold on. Hold on. We know who's consuming the content, right? This is actually perfect. It's males. It's guys. It's like the Christian version of OnlyFans, right? Right. So yeah, actually. So it's guys watching this PG porn. Absolutely.
00:34:11
Speaker
Oh, boy. Actually, this is a good idea. Find your tradlife.com. Listen, my shirt, I think my shirt. Is it a veil? Oh, my God.
00:34:24
Speaker
my trademark. My, I feel like my shirt is tradwife approved. I just need like, I need the roads. And like, like, you know, yeah. And that's the other funny thing is that, like, none of these women as much as it's supposed, and this is a very general, like, right, general term, because some are not at all suggestive.
00:34:46
Speaker
I don't think the word submissive is always a negative thing, but a lot of the content out there is that. It's like the perfectly curled hair and the cardigan that has three buttons undone and the cinched waist. It is a very suggestive and the weirdest way. It's like a little puff sleeve and then a low cut milkmaid kind of vibe.
00:35:14
Speaker
It is. It's a fantasy. Exactly. We nailed that part. I'm pretty sure. Yeah, it is. That's so interesting. Okay. Actually. So in lieu of bringing in an advice question today, because no one's writing us in for this kind of advice. Um, I did become a tradwife. Not yet. At least not. Not yet. At least. So I was,
00:35:39
Speaker
I was on reddit and I found this girl's story. She posted it on tradwife's snark page. So it's like a page where people talk shit about tradwives essentially and like tradwife influencers.
00:35:54
Speaker
but she wrote onto the page. So I'm going to read it to you guys because I thought that this is interesting discourse for this conversation, but it says, can't believe I'm actually posting this. Hope I don't get roasted for it. I am a young Christian and married with children. And although I have a career at the moment, my family's goal is for me to stay at home. I used to be very active in the tradwife community.
00:36:18
Speaker
until I realized just how extremely toxic it is. And trust me, there are many of us who leave these communities because they're so toxic. Women there live to meet each other's standards and outdo each other. It's a constant competition where you never feel like you're, quote, tried enough because there will always be someone to criticize how you're failing.
00:36:42
Speaker
It harmed my marriage and caused scars that I'm still healing with my husband. It destroyed my self-esteem and made me abandon my entire personality in what made me for a few years where I was just desperately trying to fit in with them. That is until I said, screw it, and decided to focus on what's best for my family, for myself, and what God actually wants for me. And I couldn't be happier. Ways in which it harmed my relationship with my husband.
00:37:09
Speaker
She says, feeling like he wasn't good enough because I have to work and we can't live off his income. So I think what she's saying is subscribing to this tradwife community, right? As a woman hurt her relationship because she was viewing her husband, not already as enough as he is, but she was saying, Oh, you should just be able to do this on your own. You shouldn't need me to have to work to provide the financial income for the family.
00:37:37
Speaker
And she was saying that the community of women are so judgmental against one another.
00:37:44
Speaker
Well, and it's absolutely, and I could totally see that. It's literally, it's keeping up with the Joneses, right? It's Stepford wives. From her point, she's like, ultimately my goal and her family's goal is for her to provide that singular role, but currently they're not in a position to do that now, but it's still the goal. But I think that what she's saying is she was putting
00:38:12
Speaker
Do pressure her husband absolutely their relationship being like you should be making more you should be doing more 100% when that's like not necessarily the truth of like their situation She says she doesn't actually mind working and like working for hers
00:38:28
Speaker
Okay for now. So it's kind of like what we see on social media, right? And we're like, Oh, we should be like that. Like it's not only this tradwife thing, like this isn't pigeon holed to like this one community. Like we see other people doing stuff online all the time. You're like, Oh, I should be able to afford that. I should be able to do that. Whatever. And that is very damaging to the psyche. It's very damaging to relationships. And so I think that it's the same thing here.
00:38:53
Speaker
Same situation where it's damaging your interpersonal relationships. It's damaging, you know, the way she was even seeing herself and it's like for what though, just so you can say, Oh, I'm a stay at home mom. And like, I absolutely understand what you're saying and what, and, and he feels less than, and that is damaging, right? And again, like.
00:39:14
Speaker
going back to what we talked about. Who's consuming this? It's men. This is what you should be doing. Okay. Well then that's what, you know, if you want me to be doing this, well, this is what those men are providing. And so it's to a certain extent though, it has to be some women because you know, some women are subscribing to it though. And it's like, it's not only just about the content, but I think this discourse goes like far beyond just like videos or whatever. But I do think that
00:39:40
Speaker
this woman is not alone and that, you know, it's just because we have put a label on something and it says, okay, well, this is what it means to be, to fall under a tradwife, right? Like this is, these are all the boxes we need to check. Like, is there a healthy balance between the two? I also, well, I just also think like going back to what I said from the beginning about like,
00:40:05
Speaker
this kind of going back to your parents. Do you think that a lot of guys have this in their mind when by the time you are old enough to really understand that life that your parents have where you might have that life growing up, your parents are probably, your dad's at least established enough in
00:40:25
Speaker
a career where he can take care of the family and the mom can be a stay-at-home mom. It was a different time though. In general, think about the age difference too. That's my point. It was a different time. It's this 50s. We're talking about boomers.
00:40:44
Speaker
Yeah, of course. The cost of living is- And even before that, maybe like- 100%, 100%, right? Oh, wait, sorry. No, keep going. I was going to say, I had this really dark shower thought.
00:40:57
Speaker
like two weeks ago and I think it's all like culminating right now. I'm just sitting there like, oh my God. Okay. Do you guys think that there's any correlation between the sort of like alpha guy thing that's going on right now where guys are like women or gold diggers and no one's ever going to like take my money and like this resistance to being supportive of a woman and a family. Do you think that that sort of resistance that we're seeing now
00:41:27
Speaker
which feels like it's more than ever, has to do with the sharp decline in families staying together. So what I'm trying to get at is, is there a correlation between divorce rates and men growing up in households without followers and having no father figures or no stable father figure, and now growing up and being a millennial,
00:41:51
Speaker
who didn't grow up in a situation where they saw a stable father figure being the provider for their family, and now they're resisting being the provider for a family. Absolutely. Absolutely. Because I do think that a lot of people are way more focused on themselves because they probably have lost faith in the potential of a happy ending when facts show.
00:42:19
Speaker
Yeah. The odds aren't good. I also have a different ... I also have a different ... I think yes. I think that- That's just a dark shower thought, guys. I didn't look that up or anything, but I was just like, wait, it's all kind of- No, wow, so valid. I'll talk together. I don't think that's a dark shower thought. I think that statistically that would prove correct. I think that over the last two, maybe three decades,
00:42:43
Speaker
Divorce is Absolutely, you know increasing like the divorce rate is increasing.
Economic Pressures on Traditional Roles
00:42:49
Speaker
I do think though to go back to what you said reach about You know fathers providing and being and fathers there and even to connect the previous thought what I am finding in a lot of my own
00:43:09
Speaker
relationships, like friends who I know who are divorcing. And what I think is really common is this
00:43:21
Speaker
people needing to have a dual income household, right? Or women going to school or wanting to do something for themselves, wanting to contribute financially to their home, to your point, right? Not just for superficial reasons, because I want clothes and I want
00:43:40
Speaker
Botox and but because they want to also invest in their you know, their own retirement and they want to they want to contribute they want to make sure that their kids have a college fund because Lord knows it's so crazy expensive and who knows what it's gonna be in 10 15 years from now, right like they want to can to contribute to a Better life and a more comfortable life to have more time with their kids however Right
00:44:08
Speaker
the roles and responsibilities at home have not been adequately proportioned. So women are providing just like their husbands or partners, domestic partners are providing equally, but the household duties and childcare and making three lunches, making three breakfasts and then making three lunches and then dropping off and you both going to work all still falls on
00:44:38
Speaker
wife and the mother. And I think women are kind of fed up with contributing and still being the one who is fully responsible for everything at home. I think a lot of guys, a lot of men feel emasculated. They feel like, you know, well,
00:45:06
Speaker
I want a tradwife and I just want her to stay home, but it's like, okay, well I just wanted a partner. You feel less than, oh, I'm over here.
00:45:22
Speaker
sinking. I'm over here still having to be fully responsible, having to do all of the things, do all of the laundry, clean the house, and go to work while you get to come home and sit on the couch and watch Netflix and scroll on TikTok. I'm making dinner. I'm doing homework. I'm giving baths. I feel like I don't want to have kids.
00:45:47
Speaker
But I mean, you know, so I think I know personally, and I would never but
00:46:01
Speaker
A lot of women feel that. I love you, but I do this on my own. What do you bring to it? What do you bring to the table? If it isn't emotional intelligence and if you aren't loving me into submission and you're not helping with bath time, then I'm going to go be my own tradwife and earn as much as you.
00:46:36
Speaker
really like I think I think I think that that's what people are failing to I think it's the elephant in the room yeah yeah that's a lot okay you have me thinking about like what are my family planning goals here because I have thought
00:46:56
Speaker
Like, you know, if I had like endless money, I would just like kind of go like inseminate myself, like do the whole, um, what is it called? Single parent by choice or something like that.
Dating Preferences and Red Flags
00:47:09
Speaker
There's a whole thing. There's a whole community of people who like do like artificial insemination and all that. Yeah. I have a friend who did it. Maybe that just sounds like cute for me, but that is such a.
00:47:24
Speaker
I'm like, okay, I'll talk a lot of shit and be like, the man should be earning all the money, but when it comes to me earning all the money and doing all the things, I'm like, that sounds a little bit stressful. I will say that I don't think I would ever have kids with a man who wasn't willing and able to like provide for all of us for like any given amount of time. And like willing is the big thing because I haven't entertained a man that wasn't able and like,
00:47:54
Speaker
probably since I was a teenager, right? We all know my affinity for power. Yeah, power, power, and as you're like psychotic leaders, right? They're all able. They can make it happen, right? But willing, of course. And so I don't even think I would consider
00:48:16
Speaker
going down this path at the age that I am, knowing all the things I know, and seeing all my friends going through, you know, their whole lives of having kids. Well, and, and here's the Yeah, don't think you would. And then you have, you know, and then you have a few kids and she gets real, you know, and yeah, and I and it's, listen, like,
00:48:46
Speaker
Everything sounds great and you think like you see, oh, I want kids and I'm going to be, and then someone's got to wake up at six o'clock and get them an hour and a half away to soccer. And all of a sudden that person doesn't really feel like they want to do that. And then it's on you. I'll never knock someone who's doing everything that they can do. But when you just don't want to, right?
00:49:11
Speaker
And I think that it's easy. Well, just to bring it back to me here, I'm not attracted to people who put in low effort. So I don't think I would ever find myself in a situation where intercourse was on the table with a low effort person. I don't even know what I like anymore. I just know. Hailey knew. She doesn't like laugh.
00:49:41
Speaker
She doesn't like loud peckers, that's for sure. Whoa. Like, honestly, I'm not even joking me. Sometimes the guys Hailey sends me, I'm like, huh, okay. Okay, the last one was cute. You would have been like, cute. What is cute gonna do for you? Okay, I give more information, but I just don't want to. Okay, so there was another guy that Hailey went out with last week.
00:50:08
Speaker
I can't tell the story. I have to say this one. But no, but let me just tell you when she sent me what this man looks like. I was like, I was like, his tattoos are just like horrible. They like his he has like a whole hand like filled in black. And I'm like, she can roast him because he I was like, what is so what was so bad underneath that tattoo that you had to fill in your whole fucking hand my guy.
00:50:35
Speaker
I'm like, were you in prison? Honestly, I was like, what was under there that you got to black out your whole entire hand? Okay. That's questionable. Um, and then, yeah, he just, he looked like a weirdo. Haley kept on talking to him and I was like, you do you girl? Longer. Longer. Longer.
00:51:04
Speaker
It was longer. I was in town. I was in town. Were you? No. Yeah. Yeah. Too many. It wasn't every day. Oh, it's not like that. Okay. Well, my point here, my point is you had many opportunities to be like, maybe this isn't him. Okay. So after I went on that bad date, though,
00:51:26
Speaker
Can I just tell you, we're really getting off, but this is all just so quick. After that bad date though, I got home and I immediately texted one of the guys that I actually did have a good date with who totally failed the three-day rule. We had the three-day rule and we totally had a full conversation. He's like, I didn't know that there was a rule. Oh, you brought it up. A whole conversation, but it was just really funny. I was like, I love that. So listen. Yeah.
00:51:57
Speaker
Hailey? Yes. Send, before you commit to date, send them to me. Okay. Whoa. She's getting to basically nix them all. She's like, nope, nope, nope, nope. No, that's not true. That's not true. That's not true. I will say that. It's like chickens. Listen, I trust me. I paid $11.99 to maybe have one hookup, okay? And it fucking backfired, so.
00:52:29
Speaker
That's the funniest fucking thing I've ever heard. I paid $11.99 for this. Goes to send the next line. Nope. Can't even get a double text. Access denied. No, I just personality matters to me.
00:52:44
Speaker
You can't tell from that. Yes, you can. Yes, you can. You'd be surprised. No, you can. I could tell. I could tell a lot about the way you're standing, the way you carry yourself. I could look at a picture and be like, nope.
00:53:00
Speaker
And not because you don't look cute, but because of the way you're carrying yourself, your body language, the things you say, and it's not collective. Hello. I have so many awkward, own flattering photographs, but I, but like on a profile, I feel like, and I've never been on a dating site. Yeah. That's what I was about to say. Mine, he was jaded asses over here. Like, Oh God. Okay. Something that I've noticed.
00:53:28
Speaker
recently on hinged dating profiles is where guys will list like, it'll be like green flags, I look for it. And there's like all these like virtue signaling kind of things like, you got to be in therapy and like, be on your spiritual journey and like saying all these things like, they're trying to say, Oh, I'm doing all these things. But like, that's what they're looking for.
00:53:51
Speaker
And I'm like, I always swipe left on those guys. I always like say no because I'm like, yeah, fucked out. You know, it's like when you want to, you're applying for a job, right? And it's like listing all these like things and I'm like, Oh yeah. Like I, you know, I've done that before, but maybe I don't have like the three years of experience that they're looking for. So like you just don't apply, right? Cause you're like, I don't, I don't feel like I'm qualified.
00:54:15
Speaker
I feel like I'm doing the same thing with those guys. I'm like, my spiritual evolution, like it's been like a year, you know? No, see, I'm like, seven years. Seven years. The other day, though, Heather's like, Heather's like read an article once. Yep. Yep. Six years of experience. The other day I was scrolling and I was and it was like, whatever you do, don't ask me what my sign is. I was like, yes. Oh, yeah.
00:54:46
Speaker
Oh, you guys are shits and giggles. Oh, okay. The first thing I wanted to say is what's your sign? Okay, wait. No, it's just don't ask me what your sign is. That means he's a Gemini or whatever. One of the serial killer signs. Mm-hmm. I married a Gemini. I don't know why I feel that. Um, Rachel, I actually think, do you think that just because you don't like that, that you're actually
00:55:16
Speaker
eliminating an entire group of men who are at least like somewhat aware of emotional intimacy and that whole going back to I think episode three or four like
00:55:32
Speaker
body, soul awareness, just because it sounds kind of cringy. Um, yeah, probably, but I'm more attracted to humor and I'd rather they keep it like high level and like something cute and funny and like maybe like a little sexy and then like when we're together. Yes.
00:55:51
Speaker
Then we can then we can like crack into that stuff. Like if you're being like that straight off the bat, I don't even want to know what you're like in person. You're probably insufferable. Yes. It's like, how's your spiritual journey? It's like, Oh, Jesus Christ. I just met you like 100% tell me all about yours. So you might as well just get going. Okay, this is the thing.
00:56:12
Speaker
What festival? What festival were you at? Burning Man. Yeah, exactly. I've been Burning Man, but I was in Costa Rica doing... I can just tell these guys are chomping at the bit to tell me all about their cold plunging in the morning or something. And it's like, that's so beautiful. Diplo cold plunges at seven in the morning.
00:56:36
Speaker
how many days a week, okay? A lot actually, according to his stories. Okay, well, here's the thing.
00:56:43
Speaker
I am completely on Rachel's side with this. I wouldn't pass on that. Okay. Should we call him? Dating apps are so goofy. It's like you feel stupid. You want that person to kind of be funny with you and kind of break the ice rather than like... I get it. 100%. Be like, I'm so serious. Yeah. Yeah, I get it. I get it.
00:57:07
Speaker
I know. I'm like, maybe we need like a whole dating episode, but I'm not gonna lie. Like people who are just so dry and like straightforward and it's like basically a resume on your dating app. It's like, I don't know if I necessarily want to know you in real life.
00:57:27
Speaker
Yeah, see, and I have no experience, so I'll just stop because I, yeah, I only see third, like, you know. It's a doggy dog world out there, let me tell you. You guys only send me when there's something, like, absolutely worth laughing at. Well, like, it's their main picture is, like, them taking a whippet. It's, like, also not swiping right on that, my guy, like, not anymore. We send each other stuff, like, daily, because it's so ridiculous, like,
00:57:55
Speaker
you cannot make it up i could not believe how many i've never liked earlier today i was looking at like i had like a hinge notification that came up so i like looked at it and i was like who the fuck are these guys like who the fuck are these guys because i'm walking around san francisco all day every day you guys everywhere
00:58:15
Speaker
None on the dating apps. I'd like, I almost want to start, well, you know, most of them are with their girlfriends at Whole Foods anyway. So I can't be like, Hey, like how are things? Like, there's my number. Yeah. Oh, Brussels sprouts tonight. Those look yummy. You know, like I can't fucking play that card. Cause then their girlfriend will pop out from behind the tomatoes and be like, who's that honey? I'm like, well, fuck. Hi miss. Just, just cause there's a goalie doesn't mean you can't score. We've learned that lesson. So.
00:58:46
Speaker
more on that more on that another time but whoa I've never heard that okay well I don't play that game uh and you shouldn't I don't try to either I only play defense I don't play office you want her on your team
00:59:09
Speaker
Yeah, I'm just runs deep in me. Yeah. So I see all these cute guys walking around. Maybe some of our single. I don't see that many ugly guys walking around yet. They're all on the apps. They're all like, they're all on my phone. Hold on. They all have access, direct access, direct April and you're paying extra.
00:59:33
Speaker
For a medium ugly guy, I paid $12. I'm never getting this $12 back. I would never. Dude, okay, wait. Hold on. Let's think about this for a second. I'm serious. Okay. Okay. This is like outsider perspective, right? Okay. Where are all the good guys?
00:59:55
Speaker
Yeah, well, at my age range, I think they're all currently married, so I'm kind of waiting for some of them to start cycling out. Yeah, we're knocking on that door. Hold on, they're cycling out, but I wouldn't necessarily think they're the good ones either.
01:00:20
Speaker
That's what I'm saying, okay, okay here wait hold on if I put aspiring tradwife on my profile Do you think I will get hotter guys liking me? Did I do this should I do this experiment I would say yes. Oh my god. I think I'm surprised. Hold on stop new segment New York the audacity new segment fucking social experiment number one Social life Should I put on my
01:00:46
Speaker
dating profile, aspiring tradwife. Let's see what happens. Let's make a poll. All right, listeners, let us know. Yeah, I mean, should I just do it? Should I put on my Raya? Yeah, maybe I'll put tradwife onto my profile and see if I get more likes. I do think that, I don't know, maybe you have new aspirations. I don't know yet. No, you're not submissive. Yeah, right.
01:01:15
Speaker
No, you're not submissive. No, well, that's like a pillar of it. Yeah, that's true. It's not just like being domestic and cooking for your family. Maybe someone has to love me into submission, Heather. Yeah, that's the goal. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe there's someone out there strong enough. I hope. I mean, do I have to pay to find it? Goal of $11.99. That's a different conversation for a different episode.
01:01:45
Speaker
All right, anyways, I'm going to start this number one. We all know I got a really cheap spray tan in San Diego last week while we were all together. That thing, okay, well, listeners, it was like I got a $40 spray tan in one of those booths. I would do anything for you to post the photo, please.
01:02:07
Speaker
I look absolutely ridiculous. Um, but you know, five days after that thing was wearing off and especially around my hands, I looked like I had smoker fingers, you know, where it's like dark in between your fingers.
01:02:23
Speaker
Um, so that brought me to a product that I actually really love. And I use probably, I don't know, once a month, really like when I want to exfoliate. Um, but when I have an issue like this, I hit it and it's so good. Um, it's by, I should have written this down. It's the KP bump eraser by first aid beauty.
01:02:49
Speaker
If you're in the need of a exfoliator, this is so good. It leaves your skin honestly so soft and
01:02:59
Speaker
I don't know if you're like me like I'm kind of like a little bit of an allergic itchy girl like I like the feeling of being like scraped and scratched and the exfoliant and it is kind of like a sand or something I don't know it's really aggressive no it's sand like it's really like fine and it feels so good and if you're watching on video you can tell that I no longer have orange fingers so
01:03:27
Speaker
10 out of 10, it works. Number two. So last Saturday I went out and I, uh, first of all, let me just tell a real quick story. I relived my, or lived my Hills fantasy party with Frankie Delgado. I come home from that night and my drunk stupidity, I come home.
01:03:53
Speaker
I make like a Trader Joe's salad. I have a whole Trader Joe's buffet. Hailey calls me the next morning. She was like, I made myself a buffet. This is the most random shit to put together. Anyways, and then lo and behold, I go through my bedroom drawers and I somehow find this Barefoot Dreams matching pajama set that I've had for years. I don't ever wear matching pajamas. The Lux Milk Jersey.
01:04:21
Speaker
piped pajamas, piped barefoot dreams is like silk. I forgot how good these are. I have not stopped wearing them since. Do yourself a favor and your family. You should wear them the next episode. Model them. Oh, she's wearing the pants. She's wearing the pants. Got the pants on right now. It's perfect. At least hate.
01:04:46
Speaker
She's honest. I love it. Okay, so mine is not actually a product, but it's tried and true. I think you both would agree. We recently did a photo shoot in San Diego and we're lucky enough, Rachel. Rachel did a great job and found a photographer. Her name is Briley Pizzellanti.
01:05:11
Speaker
Yeah. That's about right. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I'm biased. I like the pictures. She did such a great job. She was so nice. She was on time. She was prepared. Her edits were great.
San Diego Photoshoot and Recommendations
01:05:29
Speaker
She turned the photos really fast, gave us a ton of edits.
01:05:35
Speaker
I think overall we had so much fun. She was honest if something didn't work and also kind of made everyone feel really, really comfortable. Yeah, I was going to say considering none of us are models, she made us all feel very comfortable in front of the camera. Yeah, she was awesome. So I definitely like, I would say everyone should go in.
01:05:58
Speaker
go and do that. She was amazing. So she's my, she's one of mine. This is actually wild and uncomfortable because also my next is a person and also a photographer.
01:06:15
Speaker
Yeah, Nadia Lee Cohen is next on our top eight. I'm okay. Yeah, I don't know what it is like that. The Instagram algorithm like with her stuff for so long. But then I think I was just on my phone a lot over Christmas and the holidays and she was posting a lot like while she was home. And her content is just
01:06:39
Speaker
I don't know. So it's been short. I think I interacted whatever. So it's showing me all the time now. And she is a fucking vision. And I love seeing the world from her perspective. I know she shoots like a lot of like bigger campaigns and works with like skins a lot and whatever. That's like interesting. But her other work and just the behind the scenes of her daily life that she posts. I don't know. I just I love the way she sees the world and she's super hot. So
01:07:09
Speaker
Yeah, she's been- She's such a babe. I remember when Kim nabbed her, but she was still not very mainstream, but yeah, she's so amazing. She's so amazing. Okay, my next one is Alive Water. It's a water delivery system, and this water, it's like the cleanest
01:07:36
Speaker
spring water he actually can get. Kristen Cavallari's podcast, she just had this wellness doctor on. And honestly, the whole time I was listening to this podcast, I was like, fuck, I need to be healthier. And then he got to the water and he's like, she's like, what's the healthiest water that you can have? And he literally shouted out alive water. So they deliver to a bunch of different places. I know all the West Coast, I think even Arizona,
01:08:05
Speaker
Yeah, they're in the Bay, they're in LA. I think they're probably also in Arizona. No, they are definitely in Arizona. I'm trying to look it up, but they come in these really pretty glass bottles. They deliver right to your door. They text you. It's such an easy...
01:08:23
Speaker
It's the best and the water is so crisp. The water is delicious. Yeah. Yeah. It's so good. All the times I wake up at Haley's after a night out and I'm like, oh, water saves us. Alive water. Alive water. It's so good.
01:08:38
Speaker
I love that. All right. So I know it's so winter and oh my gosh, Arizona's so cold. It's been a lot of rain, a lot of rain. I'm not going to complain because I know when it's 117, I'm not going to like that either, but like a lot of rain. But I recently went through my bathroom and rediscovered my Sol de Janeiro body butter because I was typically using it during the summer. And it was like,
01:09:09
Speaker
almost like nostalgic like season seasonally nostalgic. I was like, Oh my gosh, sunshine. It just it's so creamy. So yummy. Smells good. I met some girlfriends out on Saturday. There's like this charity thing we did and then we went Oh, that just remind me I have another recommendation.
01:09:28
Speaker
And so we went to this new restaurant in Phoenix and everyone like literally everyone I was like, Oh my gosh, you smell so good. And I don't know just because everyone's like craving like the summer sense or what it was, but I didn't work. I didn't literally had anything else on besides body weather and felt good. I love that. I love that stuff actually. Yeah. And they haven't ever used it.
01:09:56
Speaker
And they have like an amazing body spray. So I have like the body mist too. Um, there's a few cents, but like, Oh, like their soul. I think it's soul SOL. Oh yeah. Yeah. I want to try like a lot of samples at Sephora. You can like use points or whatever to get their samplers. I would definitely suggest cause a little goes a long way too. So you can use it a lot.
01:10:18
Speaker
Um, okay. Next is the hot and dirty Martini from ocean prime. Okay. There's a story behind this. So.
01:10:32
Speaker
I don't know. I guess I'm just so bored that I decided on TikTok this year to drink Esquire's 50 best martinis. I love that. It's been fun. Actually, this Thursday, we're going to go drink one from The Progress.
01:10:48
Speaker
last week this month, this Monday. Yeah, the video from you know, a couple days ago. Um, Haley and I went to the Dolce Vita, which delicious
01:11:03
Speaker
Martini is actually a Gibson with black garlic oil on top. I don't know. It had essence of vegetables in it. It was so good. Wow. So complex. It was really complex. It was really lax. It was only $22, which I don't know. The first one I drank was $30 and I was like, fuck, are they all going to be $30?
01:11:25
Speaker
This is like a start at three times 50. I'm like, I'm not just having one plus the flight. Right. A plus and I need a snack. Like, you know, this is going to be, this is going to be whatever. But no, at $22, I was like, okay, that one was actually way better. Um, had more complexity. It was more interesting, the presentation of school. Um, so, but afterwards while we're walking home, we got lured into open prime.
01:11:54
Speaker
You know, it's a little glow. Who knows how we ended up there? And so they made us a honorable mention martini for, um, I'm going to call it a martini of interest, uh, which is one of their signature in house martinis, which is they call it the hot and dirty martini. And it's made with.
01:12:16
Speaker
olive oil and he called them boutique olives that they made, that they brined. So it was the brine, no, the brine of boutique olives. And then they stuffed the olives with blue cheese and something spicy. It was like spicy cheddar or something. It was spicy blue cheese that they put inside these olives. It was good. It was hot, it was dirty and there was olive oil. That's all I know. That's all I remember.
01:12:44
Speaker
And I think it was delicious. I don't know. I, when I watch back the video of me and Haley drinking it, we seem please. So yes, you did. You can very aggressively watch the downhill of the two of us. Oh yeah. It progresses quickly. Oh, it progresses.
01:13:03
Speaker
The last minute, there's one of the waiters is telling us a catfishing story that ends in us being impressed, let's just say that, by what we think might be Down Under. Sure sign up a good time. Okay. Always, always love being impressed by what's Down Under. I love a nice Russian. Okay. Eastern European.
01:13:33
Speaker
I guarantee he's looking for a... A tradwife? Yeah. She's like, what's that thing? That was a sad wife. A sad wife.
01:13:45
Speaker
Okay, what's number eight anything so in I guess it's technically Phoenix There is a new hotel is called the global ambassador. It is a Fox concept Hotel, there's a ton of investors.
Favorite Products and Discoveries
01:14:00
Speaker
I think like Devin Booker or Larry Fitzgerald or like minor like minority investors They're just like a ton Turks Bentley. I don't know a lot of big names You guys
01:14:13
Speaker
It is so adorable. It is everything that I feel like the area was missing. And this past weekend, they just opened their rooftop bar and restaurant called Thea. And the views are incredible. The food was amazing. The drinks were great. We left
01:14:39
Speaker
Gosh, we walked downstairs to try and catch the end of the 49er game, so it must have been like eight o'clock. I don't know. I don't know. I've been there since four, so I had a good time.
01:14:51
Speaker
we walk downstairs. I've never seen a line like that to get into the hotel. Like there's there's multiple restaurants, there's the lobby bar, there's a line out the door just to get into the hotel to be able to go to a restaurant or the bar inside the hotel. I mean, it was like, it's the staff, just everything, everything about it. So if you are in Arizona,
01:15:17
Speaker
Damn it. Why am I saying this? Don't go to the global massacre. No, it's awesome. You have to check it out. They have three restaurants, adorable, adorable little lobby, great pool. Yeah, it's kind of like my new favorite place. I love it. You can find Heather there. Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot to find there. Interesting. No, I just wasted a lot of fun.
01:15:49
Speaker
Wow. That's a lot of fun. All right. If you say so. I believe you. You should. I love it. Well, do we have the audacity of the week? If you really want me to read that, the one dude's message. Yeah, read it. Heather, maybe you know. We don't have a say his name. It's C-E-A-D-D-A.
01:16:16
Speaker
C-E-A-D-D-A-S-I-A-D-A-S-I-A-D-A-S-I-A-D-A-S-I-A-D-A-S-I-A-D-A-S-I-A-D-A-S-I-A-D-A-S-I-D-A-S-I-D-A-S-I-D-A-S-I-D-A-S-I-D-A-S-I-D-A-S-I-D-A-S-I-D-A-S-I-D-A-S-I-D-A-S-I-D-A-S-I-D-A-S-I-D-A-S-I-D-A-S-I-D-A-S-I-D-A-S-I-D-A-S-I-D-
01:16:41
Speaker
Anyway, so this guy matches with me on hinge, likes my photo. I'm going to give you, there were literally three interactions before I get my ass handed to me on this fucking message. So is he French? I didn't get that far. I did not get that far. You'll see soon enough. I did not get that far. Okay. So this guy likes my photo and he goes,
01:17:11
Speaker
fuck talking on here, shoot me your number. Which I understand, cause like, you know, I don't really like using the app either. I was like, ha ha, I feel ya, give him my number, right? He goes, you want a call or a text? And I said, texting is probably easier because my next week is a little crazy. Mind you, this is the week before we were all going to San Diego. That week, we were, I was working every single day before that, like,
01:17:39
Speaker
busy as fuck like you know we're getting ready for a photo shoot okay this is what this motherfucker has to say to me damn wish you never said that major red flag for me busy or long periods of time before someone can make a little time to talk is like is like beyond lame in a short life word of advice from a stranger who cares successful
01:18:06
Speaker
In parentheses, smart people find, smart people find time always. Unsuccessful people. In parentheses, basic. Find excuses and are almost always saying what you just did. I actually am writing extensively about it and have your exact response down in my notes as a warning. Not saying any of this to be mean, only in a hopes that helps you improve your life.
01:18:34
Speaker
Be fucking audacity. Are you kidding me? I'm just going to choose like, hey, I'm a little busy. Please don't call me. You text me because I'm probably not going to answer. You know what I said? This is what I said. I said, or maybe when I talk to someone, I like to give it my time and my full attention. I'm waking up at the crack of dawn to go to the gym, go straight to work and deal with clients who suck the life out of me. A text from someone new is exciting and makes me smile. But sure, I'll keep that in mind. Thanks for the advice.
01:19:03
Speaker
I was at work and I literally opened it. I was like, oh my God. I was like, ooh, you just wrote me a novel. I was still taking it back. Yeah. That's a major ache though. Much to be desired. Yeah, you think? I'm going to send them to the website. FindYourTribeWife.com. Bitch, they'll call you all day. I'm sorry about their vacuuming and washing the kids. Fuck it.
01:19:30
Speaker
Oh my goodness gracious. I'm so sorry fucking Sienna. I did look it up though. It looks like yeah, alternatively Chad. It's another name for Chad. On that note, thank you to the Academy.
01:19:59
Speaker
I'm just right back. Okay, Chad. Thanks, Chad. Got it. Until next time, bro. Wow, that's good. Well, that concludes today. Thanks for turning in. Let's keep my little bumble secret between us, okay? Yeah. That actually is so embarrassing.
01:20:26
Speaker
But you know what is so funny? Better than Chad. Well, yeah. We come on here and we share a lot of very intimate things. Anyone can listen. Yeah. Literally anyone. Apple and Spotify. Anytime of day. 24-7. Oh my gosh. I can't believe this happened to me, but let me just tell everyone.
01:20:52
Speaker
Heather Heather what's going on in your life? Oh nothing but all of this In tomorrow night
01:21:00
Speaker
Jesus. Oh boy. Yeah. Well, maybe one day we'll be full of regret, but until then. Yeah. You know, I also, hold on. I also saw this thing that was like, sorry, I know we're going to work. This is the send off. Like no one cares about your life as much as you know. And like, I think, I think that that's like a,
01:21:22
Speaker
also just really pertinent, like, what I post, what's in my stories, no one really fucking cares. Literally no one. Everyone's favorite topic is me. Everyone's favorite topic is themselves. And I think that there's like, I don't know, it's good to not take yourself so seriously. And if you can share human experiences and moments and things that are embarrassing and real, I don't know. I think it's refreshing for people.
01:21:49
Speaker
I agree and I do think everyone's favorite topic is themselves until it comes to gossiping. Those little messages are messaging. All right. Well, thank you everyone. Thanks for tuning in. See you next week. Bye. Bye. Bye.