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Episode 51 - ADHD Burnout Explained: Signs, Symptoms, and Recovery Tips
104 Plays1 year ago
Paul and Martin (co-mayors of ADHDville) chat about ADHD burnout. ADHD burnout is more than just feeling tired—it's a state of complete mental and physical exhaustion that comes from constantly pushing yourself to keep up. It’s the result of battling distractions, hyperfocus, and the rollercoaster of energy levels. In this video, we’ll dive into what ADHD burnout really feels like and how to start healing from it.
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Put quill to paper and send us an email at: ADHDville@gmail.com
ADHD/Focus music from Martin (AKA Thinking Fish)
Theme music was written by Freddie Philips and played by Martin West. All other music by Martin West.
Please remember: This is an entertainment podcast about ADHD and does not substitute for individualized advice from qualified health professionals.
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Transcript
Martin's Colonoscopy Adventure
00:00:00
Speaker
ah by in Back in the room. Back in the room. So yeah, um Martin, I want to bring up a something. Go on, and bring it up. In your TikTok, one of your last, if you if it wasn't your last one, one of your last one, you're talking, you're on the table waiting, well, pre-op and post-op for a colonoscopy, right? Yes, I did that thing. You were put under, they put you to sleep. Yep.
00:00:29
Speaker
I didn't get that. I didn't get you to sleep. You do it under general anaesthetic. I didn't get any aesthetic. I was just told to whistle a tune. And up my ass they went with the camera. Blimey. Was it a big like? Hasselblad. Yeah, I think it was. Because when it came out, I screamed very loudly. Did you? Yeah, and there's a loud pop.
00:01:00
Speaker
And I made that up. But I did scream. He screamed. Yeah, I screamed. Okay. Was it pain painful or was it it was really painful? No, it was really painful. They just like yanked it out. They were pissed off because I got bad advice. The nurses that she did it. They said, uh, when I went in there in the room, this is an old, so you haven't eaten, have you for 12 hours? I said, well, well, ah not, well, I, and I haven't eaten, um, uh, meat.
00:01:37
Speaker
And they said, what? I said, no, I haven't. Because their boss, who was a friend of my girlfriend's sister, right? He said, oh, don't worry. You just need to avoid eating. You can eat vegetables if they like put them through the blender or something. You can eat soup and stuff like that. It's fine. But the nurses, they were not happy. He said, what? No, no. Because presumably made their job a bit messier. Right?
00:02:05
Speaker
Oh, yeah. And so they were a bit pissed off. They will hate you. Yeah, they hated me. They hated me. Yes. Yeah. So they took it out on your rectum, basically. I took it out my rectum. Yeah. No, generally, nothing. Right. So from five days out, you have to stop taking supplements. From three days out, you go on to a low fiber diet, that's like no beans. um I mean, there's it's very strict from three days out. And then the last 24 hours, you eat nothing, nothing.
00:02:49
Speaker
fluids and then you drink the most obscene amount of fluids that that you can possibly can and then you take all these lacked laxatives and you basically just blast the whole lot out of your system so the water cleans everything out so it's all as clean.
00:03:07
Speaker
right yeah I was just told no no solids for 12 hours before. yeah End of. You were given some some dodge advice mate. But that was their boss that gave me that advice.
00:03:26
Speaker
That's terrible of advice. um Yeah, no, that's not how it how it fucking works at all. So I was watching you on TikTok, you know, taking it easy, it was you know, taking it easy, put to sleep.
00:03:40
Speaker
Yeah. With it with with your with your like surgical little outfit. You could actually, mate, I have to say. Yeah. And I can say that that I didn't scream. I ah came up and and and and it was all very pleasant. I
Introduction to the Podcast and ADHD Theme
00:03:55
Speaker
ah came out talking about donuts was what i I decided to fixate on when I came out of general anaesthetic really donuts straight away but was yes that was the first thing out of my mouth was me talking about the donuts about i was talking about i should get you some donuts all this time and i didn't realize it some crispy creams was what i was thinking yeah ah i was like
00:04:30
Speaker
Yeah, that that that was hilarious. and According to my wife. um like Yeah. And on that, oh yeah. And on that me and coloskin colosscany envy close. Yeah. Yeah. Welcome to ADHD, Bill.
00:05:11
Speaker
Donuts. Donuts. Hello, I'm Bob Thompson. I was diagnosed with the combined ADH and the D, almost a year ago, Martin. Ah, my name's Marty West, I was diagnosed with the combined ADHD poo poo platter in 2013. No less, no more. Nice. So we're just two mates who, by coincidence or not, after 39 years, our friendship discovered that we're co-ADHD years. Blimey!
00:05:41
Speaker
there's Now, it's really important to say that this is an entertainment podcast about adult ADHD and does not substitute for individualized advice from health professionals. So do not take any advice from us, not even me. We're just here as a kind of all inclusive ADHD part benchmarking with room for everyone, including your double gangness, your alter includes.
00:06:05
Speaker
your buddy doublers, doubloo, dupe plays, your chaperones and even your best buddies, Martin.
00:06:17
Speaker
The best booties.
00:06:22
Speaker
Very nice. OK. So anyway, back in the room. So are you still here? Good. Then grab your jet packs, pedal hose, grace hoppers, or any other transportation methods and let us take you to ADHD, Bill. Any imaginary town that we've created in our minds?
Understanding ADHD Burnout
00:06:41
Speaker
In our minds.
00:06:43
Speaker
pregnant boys, pregnant boys, pregnant boys, where we like to explore different parts of the A, the D, the H and the D, D, D. Hang on, I need to... Oh, Jesus. He's looking around. back Oh, he's back. He's back in the room. Ah, all right. All right. How are we feeling? Better. Okay. I had to chase a chasing Amazon man down the road.
00:07:13
Speaker
Alright. Blimey. Come back with my important. Package. Box of. But my spray can of spray primer. Anyway.
00:07:29
Speaker
So let's crack on. um I think my next part is I say we start off as always here in the town hall in the mayor's office where we the joint mayors of ADHDville take care of business and Amazon packages.
00:07:48
Speaker
Yes, quite often. And on my agenda, my yes we have one item, this is a single item, so we are talking about, what are we talking about? ADHD burnout, right? And yeah, ADHD burning slash exhaustion I've got here, Martin.
00:08:07
Speaker
Mm hmm. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Well, usually you're better at the intros to kind of like introducing us to a subject. Have you got something? Well, let's jump in the car. Oh, yes. Because where where shall we go to talk about? I think we should go to the spa, Martin, because the spa is where you go to relax, isn't it? Yeah. After your burnout.
00:08:35
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. All right. Let's jump in the mayor's car. Right. um ah You will notice, Paul, that I finally got rid of the um the the cigarette the ah lighter you know in our mayor's car. I kind of felt like it was like... Yeah, it's been a while. It's been a while. I don ah don't smoke anymore. There was like half a cigar in there for like five years.
00:09:06
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah. you boom Maybe Maybe. All right. Well, let's just a okay get get to the spot and chill. Yeah.
00:09:24
Speaker
I see.
00:09:28
Speaker
Yes.
00:09:31
Speaker
I can feel those cucumbers on my eyes. sp Occasionally yes. Occasionally. what What's your go-to? Is there like one thing at the spine like you gravitate towards?
00:09:45
Speaker
um All right, so we have here in New York we have some quite big spas so they're quite big um and You can go and there's usually like five or six different types of ah Room that you can go into like there'd be one that is really cold You can go in there for a bit and then you can go into it into a really hot steam room then you go into a really hot into really hot the dry room and There's like all these like little rooms that you can then kind of go in between. And they can go and have a massage, which which I always enjoy that. um yeah Yeah. Are you allowed to talk in spas in New York?
00:10:34
Speaker
the um Our swimming pool has a spa and I go in there after the after after a swim and no you no one generally does talk. Yeah. ah The last spa I went to was in Copenhagen with Jonathan. Hello. Hello, Jonathan.
00:10:54
Speaker
All right. And we we got told off a couple of times. We're not told off. We're asked to stop stop talking, please. Yeah. Yeah. It's not really the done thing around here. Obviously, in other cultures, very much about talking.
00:11:11
Speaker
and in conducting business and shit. Exactly. In your speedos. But what' what should go to at the spa then? um The massage, obviously, is the number one. And then after that, I i do like a steam room. where Do you? Where I get baked into light and fluffy.
00:11:36
Speaker
Yeah. can I can't, I like steam rooms for about, I can only resist for like maximum of five minutes and I have to get out. Yeah. Because my nostrils are burning. Mm hmm. Yeah. No, I like the kind of this sort of punishment of it. Yeah. It's like, yeah. It's like, how long can I stay in here? I'm talking a talk it of punishment. I love shatsu.
00:12:03
Speaker
she What? The dog? No. Shih Tzu? No. No. That's a Shih Tzu. Oh, right. um It's not a car either. It's not a Suzuki. Right. Shatsu. What's a Shih Tzu? Shatsu is they like play with your nerves, Martin. like you They get on your nerves. They get on your nerves. Literally, they got get on your nerves. Right. And they tweak them and and and um put pressure on your your, yeah. And it's like the most pleasurable pain you could ever have. It's great. It's great. It's amazing. It's a massage basically, but you kind of particular pressure on your on your pressure points.
00:12:51
Speaker
All right. Well, ah if ah and anyone has any particular fun matter, sparse drawers or info, get in the comments. um I know that some people like like to be beaten with a bush.
00:13:06
Speaker
or with with a branch i think it's the russians maybe or maybe it's the greeks i think so also it's turkey oh my god i went had a cover cover of what they're called what are they called uh turkish spa where you go in you get beaten up basically by this gigantic turkish man Mm hmm. And it's just like, Oh my God, it'll turn you over like pieces of meat on a barbecue. Literally. I just slap you around you. Yeah. Why is this a thing? Yeah. Yeah. But it was invigorating.
00:13:45
Speaker
all right right Oh, yeah, let's start with what what is ADHD burnout? Well, mean I so firstly, ADHD burnout isn't a it's not a
00:14:04
Speaker
Um, it's a, uh, loose collective term for a whole bunch of symptoms, which is basically the experience of feeling completely drained mentally or physically or emotionally from managing ADHD symptoms. Um, especially too, too long. Um, so, you know, the, the underlying thing here is, is that you have ADHD.
00:14:33
Speaker
and your um if you basically don't take care of yourself,
00:14:42
Speaker
the amount of energy it takes just to get through this thing called normal life will just deplete you and and and until you kind of basically just burn out. And even to set a red somewhere which is completely true, the problem with burnout is when you're going through burnout, it actually accentuates your ADHD traits.
00:15:10
Speaker
even more yeah i mean yeah yeah no something like signs of it if if you wanted to kind of know what that would cover that covers feeling oh feeling overwhelmed like like you want to run away or escape um a lowering of of productivity poor performance feelings of fatigue constant constant exhaustion low self-confidence coupled with high self criticism, lack of the motivation and and drive to complete tasks, anger and and resentment towards responsibilities, obligations or other people, irritability, ah mood swings, increased procrastination, avoiding people, um yeah and physical symptoms of of of of avoiding stress. And that could be a new yet of things.
00:16:06
Speaker
Yeah, but ah probably even comes to mind now is even more likely to um try self medication like drugs, alcohol, um nicotine, etc. Yeah, you know, yeah. Yeah.
00:16:25
Speaker
I've written down here, Martis, kind of in the intro. like you know telling me you You and I have ADHD, but we probably it shows up kind of differently, pretty much with everyone. It shows up differently, right? Different traits and everything. But I think everyone who has ADHD has burnout at some point.
00:16:46
Speaker
Yeah, and and even quite regularly I think I think you can't write and know i I sometimes think that's one of the reasons Why you might think there's something wrong with you like what like when I think back on like why am I so tired all the time? Why like I'm just so tired and exhausted and i'm you know like an emotionally dysregulated plating. You can't think, is this normal? Yeah.
00:17:16
Speaker
Well, I do remember right at the beginning, um, when we started these episodes, cause, um, basically the, the, um, starting the podcast coincided with me getting diagnosed. Right. I remember ah me talking about lazy, my laziness at the beginning and you pulled me up on it straight away. Cause I was like, this is going back about 10 months. I said, all right, well you weren't lazy. You're just like, you were like, burn, burnt out. Right.
00:17:46
Speaker
Yeah. this That's the other thing, isn't it? You know, pre-diagnosis. Um, or whilst you go through the learning process at the beginning, you, you, there's a lot of shame involved. You say, Oh, I'm such a lazy asshole. You know, um, you know, you just like, can't get yourself out of bed or. I will come onto that. And that's the burnout cycle, which I will come on to a little bit later on. But yeah, absolutely. No, because, um, just kind of going back to the early thing, like I.
00:18:20
Speaker
I can remember I was seeing a therapist and I was like, I'm so tired, I'm exhausted. And and and she was going, so it's like a background depression. ah Yeah, it is like a background two depression, at least that's what it felt like. um And then therefore, I think, well, that's probably one of the reasons why You know, um certainly in our time um ADHD didn't come up, but it was like, oh, yeah I'm being misdiagnosed just with them a low grade background depression. And that was what they wanted to treat me for. Yeah.
00:19:00
Speaker
when in fact it was all the effort that it takes to mask and to somehow get through a normal world um and all that added effort because you're trying to compensate for your ADHD right so you're putting all this added effort in and you're screwing up you're feeling bad and and yeah you know, and you're ah also kind of like trying to um sort self regulate, you know, we drink or whatever it is, you know, and it just takes so much of a toll, so much of a toll on you.
00:19:38
Speaker
Yeah, the yeah. I mean, if there' if there's one thing, ah you said, you said Martin and the podcast that you did, unfortunately, I was there and on that one. But ah you were talking to Lucy, you said, if i if I had to get diagnosed at 90, I would have done.
00:19:58
Speaker
you know, even if I was 90, I would have been out of I'd get diagnosed because you get a sense of better sense of self, you know, and also, you know, just like you can like all of a sudden, things make sense. to her Oh, I wasn't lazy. I was just struggling to deal with my ADHD. Yes, I make peace with it.
00:20:20
Speaker
Yeah, acceptance is the is the key to all of that. Now then there's a bunch of things that can cause ADHD. burnout, you know, so so obviously we kind of go through life, right. And there's a, you know, and it takes a lot, it takes a lot more effort if you have ADHD to kind of, to kind of get through life, right. And even if you manage to kind of just get, you know, just get on, right. And you have ah up and down days, but you're basically functioning, um,
00:21:00
Speaker
there's still, it will still get you from time to time, right? Like it it feels like it's almost inescapable. It feels like um you know like i i get I've had really big burnouts. So let me think. So um when I left one particular agency that I've been at, had agency for like, I've been there for a good number of years um and I was burnt out um after that. So that was a long burnout.
00:21:33
Speaker
after the amount of effort that I put into work and then coming out of it, I was just i was dead. ah So there's like so like then there's there there's that type which that kind of burnout that lasted for months, months and months.
00:21:52
Speaker
Yeah. ah what the The burnout lasted for months. Yeah. yeah yes And then there's much smaller ones where I will have a particular, so I went to a party in DC last we weekend and it was great. and I had a good time, but i was I was burnt out afterwards, which kind of took about, a yeah ah tookck that that was ah that was a one day burnout.
00:22:19
Speaker
I think for two perhaps, but since you get much right smaller smaller ones, so they they can range from like ah a day or a week, can be weeks, can can can be months, yeah can be longer.
00:22:36
Speaker
yeah Well, I've had a similar thing. I had well ah called um i had to ah reached a point, ah when was it, 12 years ago now, when I had a ah crash. And people called it even people close to me, you know they called it and kind of a midlife crisis. And even like said it quite quite sniggeringly. you know And there's this thing, and like when a man goes through at a moment like that, I was 46, 45 or 46 or something.
00:23:11
Speaker
There's like, I don't know why, but it really pisses me off. There's people who talk about it in like ah and like a degrading way. He said, oh, you're going to buy a Harley Davidson or a convertible and start building a gym in your garage and stuff like that. And suddenly attracted to teenage girls or whatever that. And it's really, I think it's really disrespectful because actually it was a genuine crash, you know? Now, I know, having been diagnosed a year ago, it was exactly what you were talking about. It was just years and years and years of masking and years and years of just being motivated by fear, basically.
00:23:54
Speaker
Everything, I mean, it got me to where it got me. it made I was ambitious and I was very driven and determined and everything, but in the end it was toxic because I was driven. I was never ever driven by anything positive.
00:24:09
Speaker
Right. And I thought I couldn't do it anymore. And I crashed and burned. Definitely. I remember you talking about that. Yeah. At the the time, you know, it's like, what am I being motivated by?
00:24:25
Speaker
Yeah. know why Why am I seemingly being motivated by negative self-harming things rather than yeah positive things? Yeah. And that's a big change to make, to be like, OK. And for me, it was hard. It was was even it was more than hard. it was It seemed impossible at times. Like, oh, is there another way to be motivated? you know Can you be be successful in a career or so on a personal level?
00:24:55
Speaker
um and not being motivated by fear of failure, what obviously you can. It just it was it was
Managing ADHD Burnout
00:25:03
Speaker
ah a concept that was very far from my from my experience at the time.
00:25:09
Speaker
Yeah, so kind of getting back to her like a day to day burnout thing. um Yeah, there's a bunch of things that that come to my mind that kind of factors that contribute to it other than the ones that we we've already discussed. One is like over over commitment where you kind of like you've you've you've you've people pleased or you're saying yes to things through fear or whatever it is and you and you've got way too much on your plate.
00:25:40
Speaker
um and ah Yeah, over-committed, yeah. Right, and then you and yeah then you then and that means that you um you overextend yourself and you start to feel overwhelmed and then you'll eventually burn burn out. um Yeah. And the other one is like lack of self-care. So you know when when you don't get proper sleep,
00:26:07
Speaker
ah yeah we or you don't get proper diet or or or you don't prioritise relaxation and chilling out, um you know you are vulnerable to to to getting ADHD burnout because you you're just... you you you can do great at the start right you can hyper focus and just get stuff done but but then you start burning into your reserve energies then you start running on gas and then yeah when that goes you just fall fall over
00:26:42
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, I've got I've got a similar thing here about self care about being inauthentic. I always I think I always knew that if I was people pleasing all the time, I always felt like there was a like a gradual build up of um frustration with myself, that I was being inauthentic, you know, not saying what I really felt, not being who I really thought and who I knew who I really was, right?
00:27:10
Speaker
I think there was a like accumulation of just personal frustration, like fuck sake, Paul, you know. Yeah. Yeah. I think we just harden yourself. So self-care as you were saying. Yeah. it's it's Yeah.
00:27:26
Speaker
ah and Another one that comes as a fact is perfectionism, which is like ah right which we which is like a common coping mechanism, right? So if you yeah have ADHD, you want things to be perfect. um Not everyone, and not on on everything, and but that but that kind of like You need things to be good kind of leads to kind of more stress more and anxiety You you create these unrealistic Expectations of yourself these kind of high bars, right that you're trying to attain Yeah, you know, so you always trying to kind of get to You know to where you know, I think that's that's where we when you're talking about um
00:28:19
Speaker
accepting yourself. Like when you accept see yourself, you realize that you're not perfect, and you will never be perfect. And you accept and that you don't have to be it doesn't have to be good all all the time. Right. So yeah you can kind of ah take some of the expectations off of you. I know I'm saying that as you're in the middle of doing us a a a a sculpture for the for the yeah the museum. And you're probably thinking, no, this has to be fucking perfect. This has to be perfect. um It has occurred because usually I work with software like you know Photoshop and stuff like that and perfection perfection is is ingrained in the software.
00:29:01
Speaker
you know, and the illustrator or the whole Adobe suite is, is like ingrained in in the software is perfectionism. So you're, then you're, you're working with a sculpture or a sudden, you know, something physical. And there was ah times when I was aware of like, okay, Paul, let the perfectionism go a little bit. You know, you can't sand out every single little imperfection on, on the sculpture, you know,
00:29:27
Speaker
um Yeah, there's definitely some of that, definitely. right um yeah Letting some things go. Letting things go, I know, because is it's hard. And yeah part I think that comes... So ah so so I don't want to talk... No, it's the now iss a good point to talk about the ADHD burnout cycle.
00:29:51
Speaker
And this is where some of these things will start to come come to make sense. So there's like six or so stages to the burnout cycle. um And this is kind of quite interesting. So stage one, so the first thing is like there's some way, there's some form of commitment or risk risk responsibility that requires your focus and your attention. That could be anything, right? From work to a sculpture to, you know, to clearing up your home, um whatever it is. Then step two is, is the ADHD symptoms start to make themselves aware and start to interfere with the task, right? So, you know, you you forget things or you're time blind or you're you know not being productive or yeah whatever.
00:30:46
Speaker
um Then that starts and that hits off stage three, which is where you so we have feelings of stress and frustration like, you know, like, come on, come on, like, you know, Jesus, what am I doing? it And then that leads to procrastination, avoidance and other unhealthy coping skills.
00:31:09
Speaker
that are meant to alleviate those negative things. So, you know, that could be like, you know, um yeah, you could be putting off off the thing or or you or you or you could go, you know what, I'm just going to go and read out and and have a have a drink. I'm going to go and do the thing that calms me down. I'm going to go over there and I'm not going to do the task and I'm just going to do this other thing for a while. yeah um Which ultimately just ends up in step five, which is increases the level
00:31:41
Speaker
of stress and and oh ah yeah overwhelm, and you and you start to think about quitting, you start to think about giving up on the thing, you start to, you know, and just not doing the thing, right, because it's causing way too much... Sabotage. Right.
00:31:57
Speaker
and you self sabotage or, or you, you almost kind of kill yourself in getting the thing done. Right. Yeah. And you, and you can complete the task or you, or, or you don't, but either way you've kind of burned out at that stage, right? You just, you've achieved burnout.
00:32:17
Speaker
and yeah and the And the key thing is, the important thing is why it's a cycle, is because you feel bad, you you have guilt that you um you know that you that you got burned out, or that you failed in the task, or you failed in you know or you it took way too much out of you, you sacrificed too much, or the or the end product of the thing that you were doing wasn't as good as it could have been.
00:32:47
Speaker
and you feel guilty towards yourself or to other people and then you end up
00:32:54
Speaker
um like trying harder next time for the next thing, you go, right, no, I have to do better. So you must like raise the raise the bar again. You put in more effort next time because you feel bad about the last times you put more effort into the next one. And you end up in that cycle again, we just go around, you feel but more effort and you and you get more burnt out and then you feel bad and round it goes.
00:33:25
Speaker
Yeah. but I wonder though, you just as you were saying that, Martin, you know before that cycle happens, I wonder if, whether if if for instance, we were like trying to avoid that in the future and therefore becoming better at recognizing when the potential for that cycle could happen. I wonder whether the pattern is often, that the cycle happens after a a period of hyper focus, like you were saying, you know, your hyper focus in your work, and you came out the other end, and boom, you know, it was like, on the floor. So you're coming out of something of very, very high stimulus stimulation, okay,
00:34:06
Speaker
be like a drug, you know, if you, whether it's alcohol, or whether it's um um any other kind of drugs or cigarette, there is a downturn. Even when you drink coffee, there's a downturn, there is a consequence. So it's like this, when would ah when there's an up, there's a down, you know, it's just life, isn't it? Yeah.
00:34:29
Speaker
So the cycle generally happens, it's happened to me in my past. I've been, I've gone into like a tunnel of self-sabotage because I've just come through a really, really busy time in my life professionally. Yeah. Now I, I, I, yeah, I, yeah. So, yeah. So I took, talked about that, but yeah, I mean, I,
00:34:55
Speaker
guilt, the the guilt part of the cycle is is the thing that gets me every bloody time. I feel bad about the the the thing and and and that's where acceptance of ADHD is like the only real way you're going to get through it is if you accept who you are, for who you are, for your good and your bad. Without that, you are screwed. You are screwed left and right because you'll never get out of that burnout cycle unless you've
00:35:32
Speaker
unless you you start maybe you know predicting it, right? So if you've got like, if you're project driven, like you and I, our jobs were project driven, you know, no deadline driven. So you know, okay, so next ah Saturday, the the client will you have been delivered this project. And there was like an immediate lull in the job, you know, in your work and in your general life, you know.
00:36:01
Speaker
So you can predict that they okay knowing how I would normally there's a pattern or pass where I go into a ah cycle of of Burnout after that. What can I do on Monday? to avoid that, you know Yeah, no, absolutely. So this is so for example the current current oscopy that we talked about right at the front of this is Yeah, it it's it's a it's a very similar thing thing. So, you know, like if if you know you're going to be doing something that's going to take it out out of you. Right. So yeah it could be it could be anything. Right. It could be going going to a party, peopling. It could be going to the big city to do some shopping.
00:36:52
Speaker
and Anything and then you you know that that you're going to get a lost Stimulation you've got a lot to deal with And you know as you say if you accept you've got ADHD, you know the next day you are going to be good for nothing, right? Right. So you make sure that you don't book any and you're seeing anyone, you book anything big on that day. You make sure that you you have time to kind of, a you know, to kind of get yourself back together again. And that may mean
00:37:31
Speaker
If you're the next level is then you i meana as as we i we did when we went in for colonoscopy because I know that I was going to be out out of it the next day, is that I cooked food in advance and had it in the fridge or the freezer so that I didn't even have to cook.
00:37:53
Speaker
because I knew that I was going to be doing nothing. So, so, so I prepped for burnout. essential landing This is what I try and do is that you can look down, the yeah you can look down the road, you can see it coming. You can go, okay, I'm going to make my life as easy as I can for myself. So I can get, yeah right.
00:38:18
Speaker
It might even be a conversation with people that are close to you, people close to you, in this case, you're Mrs. But you know, you know, say, Look, I'm gonna, I'm gonna come out of, of a certain situation on on Monday, or a certain time. So just so you know, it might historically, those have been challenging times for me. So you might, you might say, maybe you should, I might need some space.
00:38:47
Speaker
you know, physically, mentally or both. Yeah, I might need more patience than you than I would normally expect, you know. Yeah. No, I might be I might be snappy. I might be in a bad mood. I'm yeah so i'm like, I will try and not be ah a sweary, grouchy man. But um but I'm really grouchy when I don't eat. If I'm hungry, I get grouchy.
00:39:18
Speaker
Right. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, like all of these things like sleep, which I know is notoriously difficult for people with ADHD to kind of get there, get a sleep in. Not so for me, weirdly or for you. But it's yeah. But not exactly. Yeah. So, you know, like getting enough sleep, good Lord, getting eaten the right things and just being aware of the burnout cycle. And that it's OK to be burn out.
00:39:50
Speaker
It feels like thinking about it, that it's somehow a personal failure that you did. Yeah. That you burnt out and somehow it's your fault you did something of wrong. When in reality, there's an inevitability about it. The way I would simplify it is I just have a really, really, really busy mind. And, you know, there's only so much there's only so long you can keep that going, you know? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, and I felt it really helps me lower my yeah, just a busy mind and hyper focus, hyper vigilance, my God, you know, it's exhausting having ADHD. Exhausting.
00:40:41
Speaker
And right. So you are going to burn out. You will burn out. There is overthinking unless you're i just endless. Right. And the more busy your life is, the more you're going to be and you know susceptible to burn out.
00:41:02
Speaker
You know, when I'm not working in those periods where I'm i'm just like pottering around the house and in the back gardens and and stuff, I get very little burnout. But but then I'm in my own little sort bubble world. But then as soon as I... I've got work and I've got a project and I've got stuff going on and yeah then it creeps up on you. I had an example of what I would call mini burnouts. I had a mini burnout on Sunday evening because we're just by coincidence, i had my my son came to visit and then we had other friends that came to visit as well. and So we're but particularly social.
00:41:46
Speaker
and lots of cooking and lots of tidying up and washing up and you know making it sure everyone was happy and at some point I just my brain just went
00:42:00
Speaker
I just couldn't I mean that my girlfriend she looked at me and she knew it because she's a bit like that as well I was like I have my limits and I had to like I kind of like I don't know went into like um you know like sleep mode zombie halfway through yeah zombie definitely yeah a yeah And in thosesa in that moment a yeah in that moment, especially in Italian society,
00:42:35
Speaker
they people they talk loudly, they talk over each other. um and then on a basic level that it's not my language. And and when I'm kind of in as that zombie mode, all I can hear is just like noise. It's been like, you know, in an old analog radios when it wasn't quite tuned, tuned into your station, you know, and it tuned. That's what it feels like. It's just like, Oh God, you know, and I couldn't hear him. I couldn't listen to any one conversation at all.
00:43:09
Speaker
Right. Yeah. Now, I yeah, I do very similar. I just go into a like a zombie yeah zombie mode. I just literally just stop. I just stare into space. ah Right. And I have this little mode which I've developed, which is like there was an automatic pilot that that will kick in.
00:43:38
Speaker
and can
Culinary Tangents and Lifestyle Advice
00:43:39
Speaker
do things if they're all there are in in instructions or I don't have to think. It's like, you know, like where I just become sort of a very simple sort of a robot that if someone says,
00:43:57
Speaker
Uh, go, can you go and make a cup of tea? And I can, because I can, because it's all just automatic tasks. Right. And I can do that. And my brain doesn't think, but, and I can do quite a lot of stuff like that, but, but ask me to think of anything or i use any brain cells in any other way, other than just rule following. Yeah. I can't do.
00:44:27
Speaker
Totally. like Today I made it a um a yeah tuna pasta and and my girlfriend makes fun of me because I i often make tuna pasta a lot of the time. What I explain to her is because because I know exactly how to make it.
00:44:44
Speaker
All right. I made one yes like yesterday yesterday. Did you? All right. How do you make your tuna pasta? let me let's Let's just do a tuna pasta comparison here. Okay. All right. Here we go. This is fun. Good. First thing, boil the water. Okay. Put the salt in because so if you forget to put the salt in, okay.
00:45:05
Speaker
whilst that's coming to the boil in a small little pan, little pan, ah because it's only half of an hour only cooking for one or maximum two in a small pan, um fry off a little bit of onion, they're not much, a little bit of onion. Okay. Fry that off a bit, put in a little bit of, um, um, uh, tomatoes from a can. So they're like plum tomatoes. Okay.
00:45:34
Speaker
ah but not model right like half a can those goes in some anchovies like crushed anchovies not too many those go in okay so different and a little bit of pepper and chino chili powder okay that's it and of then the tuna any tuna all right okay then the tuna goes in and then by the time the water's boiled you can turn off the gas for the yeah the sauce And let's say you wait for the pasta to cook and you combine the two. All right. Okay. Interesting. Interesting. Very different. How does that compare with yours? All right. Boil water. You're quite a chef, Mr. Wes. You're quite a chef. Yeah, i yeah but i this is basically sort of my wife's
00:46:28
Speaker
recipe, if you like. So this is not not mine. so So I make it how she likes it. but so Okay. So boil water, a bit of salt, pasta in, right? Boil, boil, boil. In another bowl, you get, um you get your, you get your tuna.
00:46:44
Speaker
and Pol-caught tuna, not, not. Yes. Pol-caught tuna in water, not oil. Okay.
00:46:56
Speaker
um And then in there goes mayonnaise. maze Mayonnaise. And then a may money ah and then wheat sweet relish.
00:47:12
Speaker
hey um So that's the bulk. So there's quite a lot of that. Then goes in. You can put in some diced carrots for texture. um And then goes in the ah Old Bay. out an Old Bay seasoning, which is a classic Maryland concoction and pepper.
00:47:43
Speaker
And then, uh, when the pasta's boiled and you've kind of, and you've just drained it and you put in your frozen peas into the pasta. So that, so that it, it just dethaws the peas out. And, uh, and also, and then you run cold water over it. So it cools the whole thing down. You just combine the whole thing and then probably add in, um, you know, it could be so some, submit some Italian herbs, stuff, some herbs in there.
00:48:11
Speaker
OK. All right. OK. Wow. are Very different. Very different. Very different. OK. Wow. And what does your girlfriend criticize you for? So how would she do it? She would do the same, but she wouldn't use the plum tomato. She would just have ah tomato concentrate.
00:48:40
Speaker
Okay. So it's a very simple, very So your, so your, so the difference is, is that, is that the the, the, the, the, the binding agent in my case is Mayo. Yeah. And in your case, yeah.
00:48:58
Speaker
yeah all right um And I would put a combination of plum tomatoes and concentrate. My girlfriend would just have a concentrate. So it's a bit more, state the is a bit, a little, not quite as liquidy as mine. All right. Okay. All right. Interesting. That was a little little bit of a side quest. Oh, and she wouldn't have the yeah um chili powder either.
00:49:28
Speaker
All right. Yeah. Yeah. No, I think you do have to have a kick to it otherwise. So the Old Bay gives it a little bit of a kick and the same way that the chili powder gives it a kick. yeah i kind of You have to kind of give it something. Otherwise it's yeah it can be just two top It needs some top notes. see Yeah. au la They give them a bit of a kick. All right.
00:49:57
Speaker
yeah i mean there and ah sorry The anchovies, the anchovies give them a bit of a kick. Back on, yeah, not really an anchovy fan. I mean, I don't get out. yeah but Hardly it, hardly it. Just like a little tiny bit of anchovies. Really very little.
00:50:16
Speaker
all right it reminds gives that an edge it's nice of that of that future armor episode i don't know where you see it where no where the uh there's the last can of anchovies is found he found right if he finds the last can ever of and anyway
00:50:40
Speaker
All right, so just closing out on on this. is it any I mean, like so I would say just to kind of like, ah so there's definitely things that you can you can do, right? So we've talked talked about, you know, setting more realistic expectations. So if you accept your your ADHD, you'll yeah hopefully you'll set more realistic expectations of yourself, knowing, you know. I always think being curious about yourself is one of the most important tools you've got, right? Because you've got to go, okay, what can I do? What can't I do? What happened last time? i you know What went well last time? What went bad last time? What can I do differently this time? yeah um So just having that in your mind, set realistic expectations, self-care. So we talked about you know as of getting sleep. Self-care.
00:51:33
Speaker
Um, you know, also this idea of planning, of looking ahead and going, oh, okay, this event or this thing that I'm doing is going to, is going to, is going to produce burnout. What can I do to make that easier on yourself? Our friend Michael uses the spoon method.
00:51:57
Speaker
to manage his energy. And that works for so some people. some works for some us we We're not going to go into how spoons work, but we'll do that maybe on another podcast. But for spoon spoon method, just you know look it up on the internet. It it works for some people. And I think it it works for Michael, for example. He swears by it.
00:52:17
Speaker
Yeah. And I think, you know, um reach out to to to your support network. So if you've got, you know, if you've got a partner, if you've got friends, you know, to help you, you know, take advantage of of of that, because it'll just help with the anxiety, help with the depression. So if you have a if you if you have ah a a community, they will kind of hopefully help you and keep you kind of somewhat sane.
00:52:47
Speaker
um you know then if you yep Avoid avoids if you if you can, self-medication like drinks, alcohol, caffeine, cigarettes, that because i'veve so got I've got written here, video games and cell phone use.
00:53:04
Speaker
big ones, huge ones that are often overlooked. So you know that these are things that seem to like help you during a burnout, but actually they'll just prolong it or they'll just put it off for another day generally, to those things. Yeah, that's like step number four, the burnout cycle the you know where you're kind of using unhealthy coping mechanisms to kind of get over your anxiety. um Yeah, then lastly, like, you know, seek professional help if, if ah you know, yeah if it really gets on too bad. Yeah.
00:53:46
Speaker
I've got here also, um, finding the right profession, you know, for some people to avoid burnout, best thing to do is maybe some people would be avoid doing, you know, night shift work, you know, because it just, just people, some people can do that. Some people can't. Yeah. Oh, right. Yeah. Cause you know, like, yeah, if it's chronic, you might have to make some big changes. Exactly.
Engagement and Closing Remarks
00:54:12
Speaker
Yeah.
00:54:13
Speaker
And the last one I've got is choose the right partners to live with, choose the right life partners. You know, if you need to partner in your life, you know, that's going to help you through a crisis, you know, you certain character types you want to avoid probably.
00:54:28
Speaker
Right. All really good friends. Again, it's that support yeah network. It doesn't necessarily have to be a partner, although they are handily because they're just right right there. um Yeah. But ah yeah. All right. Cool. All right. Nice.
00:54:47
Speaker
well that's uh that's that was very nice i enjoyed that um let's jump back in the car and we're gonna make our way back to the town hall where we shall um verily do the out outro so well yeah all right let's go
00:55:11
Speaker
So you it says your feedback, it says here your feedback is really vital to us. It says that because it is Marty. It is. It is vital to us. It bloody well is. Like and comment. Subscribe. Yeah. Yeah. i We might mention you in our future podcasts. There you go.
00:55:30
Speaker
Right. You know, or as, as, as we did last week, uh, or for the 50, yeah. Um, we, uh, I might, we might do a a a quiz that is based on you somehow. So last week I did the, the Greek quiz because, because one of our fans so is from, from, from Greece. So, you know.
00:55:58
Speaker
Yeah. Just get involved, man. Get involved. yeah Things happen. Shit happens. We're a poor church. We are indeed a broad park bench.
00:56:13
Speaker
ah Yeah. So, um I mean, as as as far as actual comments go, I didn't actually actually i have anything lined lined up, but um but um I know that yeah we be people write on our comments, especially in TikTok. So um go and check us out.
00:56:32
Speaker
out out there, which um actually just means that I can go and say and that we all are, we are, I'll start again, ADHDville is delivered fresh every Tuesday, that's better, to all purveyors of fine podcasts.
00:56:52
Speaker
Please subscribe to the pod and rate us most magnificent and feel free to correspond at will in the comments. But wait, there's more. If you wish to see our beautiful, beautiful faces, then sally forth to the YouTube TikToks. We are big on TikTok. And you can also pick up a quill and email us at adhdville at gmail dot.com. But in the meantime, be fucking kind to yourself.
00:57:23
Speaker
How do I be beseech you? Fell away, ye steers, know thyselves. Sons of the hounds, come hither and get the flesh. In this case, tuna in pasta form. And you can choose between the martin recipe or the pool recipe. You choose. One's American, one's Italian. We're not the judge. Who? who can judge? All right. All righty.
00:57:55
Speaker
There, says the mayor. That's that.