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Episode 124 - ADHD & Aging - Masking to Not Giving a Damn
59 Plays17 days ago
Back in the room! This week on ADHDville, your favorite ex-mayors, Martin and Paul, are getting philosophical about ADHD and aging.
Why does the algorithm suddenly think we need Tai Chi for the over-50s? Why does driving at night feel like a sensory nightmare? And why do we have less energy to mask, but also less of a damn to give?
Martin and Paul dig into the science (and the comedy) of getting older with a neurodivergent brain. We explore why "object permanence" starts affecting your friendships, why recovering from a single glass of wine takes three days, and how all those years of overthinking finally pay off.
In this episode:
- The physiological changes that make ADHD feel louder.
- Shrinking your world to control the noise.
- The ultimate burnout: Death (and parachutes).
- Quiz Time: Paul's "Guilty Pleasures" vinyl collection is exposed!
Hit play and join the conversation. We promise you're not alone in feeling like you've lived three lifetimes.
🔔 Subscribe so you don't miss next week's episode: ADHD and Public Transport!
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ADHDville, the podcast where hosts Paul and Martin bring 40 years of friendship to your ears. As late-diagnosed adults, they explore the ADHD world with fun, games, and the occasional guest—no boring lectures, just a comfortable and hilarious conversation you’d have with old friends. A new episode drops every Tuesday to make your week brighter!
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Theme music was written by Freddie Philips and played by Martin West. All other music by Martin West.
Please remember: This is an entertainment podcast about ADHD and does not substitute for individualized advice from qualified health professionals.
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Transcript
Introduction and ADHD Diagnosis Stories
00:00:00
Speaker
and We're back in the room. Back in the room. Back in the room. everyone. So, yeah without without my sit my my old and ageing brain has... Ageing? Did you say ageing, Martin? Ageing? I did. My ageing brain just did a brain fart because I was supposed to say, let's go to a place where the distractions are landmarks and the detours are the main roads. Welcome to ADHDville.
00:00:30
Speaker
Come on.
00:00:33
Speaker
An ADHD kind of thing. Hello, I'm Paul Thompson and I was diagnosed with a combined ADHD and another D again two years ago.
00:00:54
Speaker
i'm paul thobson and i was diagnosed with the combined a d h and another d again two years ago And I'm Martin West, and I was diagnosed with the ADHD-poo-poo combined thing of the thing in 2013. See, see i'm I'm just thinking that even as I'm doing this podcast, there are brain cells in my brain that are just dying right now. Yes. I think... They're like lepers. They're like lepers. They've got this like instinctive...
00:01:24
Speaker
urge to just, you know, commit to just like pop their clogs. Right. I think my my my po my podcasting brain cells just died out. Okay.
00:01:37
Speaker
So anyway. Okay.
Research Methods and Aging with ADHD
00:01:40
Speaker
Very on theme. a Very on theme. Very on theme. So ah we start off as always in the ADHDville in the King's Agitated Head pub where Paul and I sit down at the back.
00:01:54
Speaker
Yeah. Nursing a pint. And and what are we talking about today? Well, we are talking about aging. Aging. Yeah.
00:02:05
Speaker
How is it? Because we do the we do the um our research completely separately, of course, right? Yeah. How was it for you, Martin? Was it a can of worms? Minimal. Minimal.
00:02:19
Speaker
Oh, is it? Yeah, it it was somewhat minimal. Okay. i i Yeah, so it sounds like it was a can of worms for you, however.
00:02:32
Speaker
Yes. Yeah, I mean, oodles of stuff. haveve got tons. Was it like Heinz worms? Yeah, but more like Campbell's. just like you know there' like It looks like a simple tin of soup, but actually there's about five bowlfuls.
00:02:49
Speaker
Right. Yeah. Okay. Well, ah we are going to go. I'll just... Oh, where are we going? Yeah. Yeah. So let's jump in the
Cultural Expressions and Personal Anecdotes
00:03:00
Speaker
in the tractor.
00:03:01
Speaker
Yes. I'm going to pick it because because ah I picked the farm. Yeah, okay. Because there is ah an expression which is... a Is this an English expression as well or or just an American expression? But it's buying the buying the the farm.
00:03:22
Speaker
so so so So if you go and buy the farm, it means you died. Really? I think that's American. It's American. He bought the farm.
00:03:32
Speaker
Ooh. Okay. All right. Popped his clogs. Yep. Yep. He fell off his perch. Yeah. So let's get in the tractor.
00:03:45
Speaker
He's pushing up daisies. Ah.
00:04:00
Speaker
ADHD and aging, right. I'm going to go of straight in with a couple of anecdotes, right? Random anecdotes. Anecdote number one.
00:04:11
Speaker
I was listening to a podcast about ADHD the other day and someone said, since I don't know if it's just me, but he said, when I was little, like a child, not like a baby, like a child, he said, I felt like I was older than everyone else. And now I'm older, I feel younger than everyone else.
00:04:31
Speaker
oo And I first thought I had the same thing. hu ah In terms of ah everyone else, I mean peers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had this sense, and I had to think about it.
00:04:44
Speaker
When I was a little boy at school, I felt like I was a little older than all of my peers. Wow. That's nuts. I'm just trying to think about that. Yeah, think about it. How much time you need?
00:04:59
Speaker
Yeah, probably probably about a month. um And now I'm older older, I think I'm younger than all my peers. Oh, yeah, that for sure.
00:05:10
Speaker
Right. Although i can also think... I have lived about three entire lifetimes in my one lifetime.
00:05:21
Speaker
Yes. Like it feels like, don't know, more than other people's. My students, um I teach, for those who don't know, I teach English or Conversation English on our English online.
00:05:39
Speaker
And my students say, but and I've always come out with anecdotes, Paul, how many lives have you had? Right. Yeah. Yeah. And then I think, come to think of it, I've done a lot.
00:05:53
Speaker
I know, right? Yeah. All right, so that was your first anecdote. First one. and and anecdote Second one, completely different. Right.
00:06:04
Speaker
My algorithm online
Aging and ADHD Symptoms
00:06:06
Speaker
is going nuts, right? They have been obsessed with me for the last... Three months, we're trying to sell me Tai Chi walking for the over 50s.
00:06:23
Speaker
I've had some Tai Chi. You've done it? No, no, no, no. I've had some some Tai Chi ads. like Oh, you've had them?
00:06:34
Speaker
Yeah. I've been bombarded with them. it as as i started It got to a point where it got so ridiculous, I started... going into google and canceling them one by one i don't want to see them again so what do they do they've clearly made about 50 versions of the same ad and slightly changed them each time so now you get tai chi chair exercises and all of this fake
00:07:06
Speaker
Oriental guy who got ripped in three months. That's the one. Yeah. and and then they caught that too And then there's someone going, right. And they're saying, my dad wants to be. Yes.
00:07:19
Speaker
Yes. And there's another one said, I've got, I've got, we've got a wedding coming up in two months and I don't want to be beauty in the beef.
00:07:31
Speaker
Oh, have you seen that one? No. No. And so it's like, what the hell? And if they seriously want me to do this Tai Chi, i mean, I can't cancel them quickly enough, and they'll create a slightly different one each time. Yeah.
00:07:52
Speaker
Yeah. It's the algorithm, mate. It's the algorithm. It knows. it knows. And I did some research. I found out the the company that creates them are Swiss. Okay. Okay.
00:08:06
Speaker
Or they said based in Switzerland. All right. Yeah. Anyway, that's the end of that. that So let's go to some more, so slightly more scientific stuff, right?
00:08:19
Speaker
Yes. Okay. um See if this resonates for you, Martin. We've had a conversation about this recently. I've been feeling more and more recently my ADHD.
00:08:32
Speaker
Right. right Turns out there's a reason for it. Because as we get older, I think it's a bit of a double double whammy. There's a physiological thing that's happening in our brains so that we definitely do so feel it more.
00:08:47
Speaker
But at the same time, the other part of the double whammy, otherwise it's not a double, it's a single whammy. And I've only given you one thing at the moment. So I'm going give you the second thing that makes it to a double.
00:08:59
Speaker
Okay. Go on. It's that we're unmasking. Uh-huh. So it's like the double whammy is like, yes, there are physiological changes to our brain as we get older.
00:09:10
Speaker
But also we're unmasking at the same time and letting it all hang out, so to speak. Yeah, that is one of the benefits of getting older is that you yeah give a shit less.
00:09:22
Speaker
Yes. Giving a lot less of shit. Right. yeah because Because actually we have less energy to mask. Yes. Absolutely. There's a limit. Right.
00:09:36
Speaker
and And we only haven't, um we don't have as much a resilience and and energy is ah as as we did when we we were young. So so it's handy that that one, we don't care, and two, we can't care. Too tired to care. Right.
00:09:56
Speaker
Yeah. But do you do have an idea, for instance, of When you look back, back, back, back. Like a fake echo kind of effect. effect but a sense of yourself using up shitloads of energy to mask your ADHD.
00:10:20
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, but I seem to have a lot more energy to do it. like Yes, like exactly. like Like when I think back when I was younger, it's just like, God, I could i could mask for England. Like if there was an Olympic Games, i could I would be like on in podium position at least.
00:10:42
Speaker
Yeah. But these these these days it's like, oh, God, yeah, no, not so much, mate, not so much. I had it like a meltdown about 10, 11, 12 years ago. i think now reflecting on that moment that i my energy ran out. yeah my ah My masking energy ran out.
00:11:08
Speaker
Right. Yeah, absolutely.
Music, Memory, and Aging
00:11:10
Speaker
And all just became overwhelming. An accident waiting to happen. And I imploded. Yeah.
00:11:19
Speaker
in a chemist in a chemist yeah you remember that story yeah who is that yeah so um so it got rid the result many experience in older age late life burnout where skills they previously managed, like social sport talk and organising their calendar, for example, suddenly feel increasingly impossible.
00:11:51
Speaker
Ooh, yeah. And this, this is the killer. This is often mistaken for the early onset of dementia or Or depression or both.
00:12:03
Speaker
See, it that's the thing. That's the thing. that's that's that's what my That's what my wife said a little while back. She was like, how would I know?
00:12:14
Speaker
How will I know yes whether you're getting dementia or... Yes. Or you're... You're letting her hang out. Or your ADHD is just kind of like just flaring up.
00:12:27
Speaker
like Yeah. Yeah.
00:12:31
Speaker
So that's but that's it, really. we could That's it. That's the end of the podcast. There we go. You know what? There we go. You know how the... Speaking speaking of dementia... Right. is it it's in this this like this This is like a slightly side topic, but um there's... You know, like, you've seen, like, ah old people, they'll forget everything, but as soon as they as soon as they hear a song that they know well...
00:13:00
Speaker
they'll like spark up to, they'll kind of come back to the present, right? And they'll be in them in the moment that the songs and music can can outtime me can kind of bring them back up, right? yeah and And it's the same with people in a coma, right? that that Like Robert De Niro. It turns out when you're in a coma,
Sensory Issues and Aging
00:13:24
Speaker
you I mean, it's different for every everyone. But I just thought that,
00:13:29
Speaker
you were asleep, but no, you're actually awake and you can hear everything. And um and therefore, having music that that that you really like can also help you come out of it, right? So so ah so so so with this with with this dementia and coma thing in mind, I've started to build a little a little playlist on my phone. Where's this going? Where is this going, Martin? About all favourite songs. All my favourite songs. Right. So you don't forget. No, no. If ever I was
00:14:10
Speaker
completely demented in dementia or in a coma. Someone could go, oh, hang on. Here's the Martin West brain's died playlist. And then you just put that on a loop and bring me back to life.
00:14:28
Speaker
Is that why you've been going recently, you've been going through the um back catalogue of of Underworld? Yeah, yeah. that's That's, yeah. I mean... If there was one thing that would get me out of a coma, it would be King of Snake by Underworld. King of Snake. King of Snake.
00:14:47
Speaker
Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is a class track. Let me just find the one that I was thinking of. But, yeah, I mean... um Oh man, i'll tell you.
00:15:00
Speaker
ah ah Yeah. ah Dirty Epic, I think is the word. Oh, okay.
00:15:11
Speaker
Oh, yes, yes. that the one? Yes, yes. Oh no, it's this one. count Cowgirl. You know this one? Okay.
00:15:22
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, stop that. all right stop it It sounds like, Martin, we should both go in a coma at the same time and come out at the same time in kind of like a synchronicity.
00:15:37
Speaker
Right. All right. So we're doing two different continents. But m anyway, we're getting sidetracked by the coma. Right.
00:15:48
Speaker
Talking of side being sidetracked, this is a segue. um Another aspect, we've spoken about this recently because we did an episode about, we were talking about driving cars.
00:16:00
Speaker
I've noticed that light light and sound and touch have become much more of a problem for me in terms of hypersensitivity.
00:16:12
Speaker
Yes, apparently apparently sensory sensitivity often increases with age. yeah so so that you know So you may see lower tolerance for noise and and crowds, which yeah yeah increased shutdowns, yeah and a and a a greater need to control your environment,
00:16:40
Speaker
um which is which explains why you know um ADHD and ADHD adults tend to shrink their world down.
00:16:51
Speaker
It's amazing you just said that. ah Literally, as you said that, I've hi i been staying at home much more subconsciously. I'm staying at home more than I used to. Yeah.
00:17:04
Speaker
Yeah. Makes sense. So that I can control my environment more easily. You know? Yeah. Yeah. And fewer surprises. And then in 10 or 15 years, it'll be be just one room and a little bar heater. Right.
00:17:19
Speaker
and right and a little dog on on your on on on your lap. and just be Piles of newspapers and magazines. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. um yeah That's the concern.
00:17:32
Speaker
on um sunday we were coming back from um lunch and at a at a um at a restaurant in the middle of um in uh emilia romagna in a place called piacenza and uh and we went there for lunch and we came out and we it was three o'clock i said oh should we stop off and have a look at, walk around a museum or something in who in the town centre. And I thought, no, because but if we do that, by the time we get back in the car, we're driving back, I'll i'll have problems with the lights again.
Aging's Impact on Relationships and Friendships
00:18:09
Speaker
Driving back, an hour and a half drive. Oh, yeah. In the dark. I'm thinking twice about that now, you know, that kind situation. Yeah. that kind of situation Yeah.
00:18:22
Speaker
Well, you have to, right? Yeah. have to. You have to. That glare of the lights at night is is affecting me much more. Right.
00:18:34
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. All right. Nice one. What else you got? What else have got? I've got... kind of have a such a thin Okay. yeah but but you but Yes, so there is a physiological...
00:18:48
Speaker
part to it there's a compounding effect in an adhd brain these functions are already strained you know all these hyper hypersensitivity at 50 plus the reserve used to compensate for adhd starts to thin martin starts to thin Tasks that were difficult but doable when you were 30, like filling the filling in taxes or managing complex projects, may become significant roadblocks in your 50 pluses.
00:19:26
Speaker
Yeah. its It's a lot going on. so yeah so you're So you're basically saying things get harder. Yes. we Doing those. i mean, because, yeah, because I'm starting to do my my taxes now and I do not like to I do not like them. So I don't. Yeah.
00:19:46
Speaker
Yeah. But also other aspects like object permanence can start to ramp up as well. So you're even less likely to remember friends and things, you know, and right to to give them, you know, the the kind of attention that they might need in later years. That's true. Also, and in interestingly, around friends is that is that you you get more selective about...
00:20:15
Speaker
your friends and who you actually give time to yes like yeah you know like all those like there's so many extraneous little people that you kind of know that you that you've i used to feel guilty about if they dropped off the edge of the world yes but uh but now i kind of feel man it's fine you know what maybe they've got soft landing they drop off but they've got a soft landing right You know, so it's okay.
00:20:46
Speaker
but But weirdly, there are people that i that i i fixate on about once a year. So, like, friends who I've not spoken to in since school, right? Yeah.
00:21:00
Speaker
There was a guy at school, Stephen Phillips was his name.
Emotional Impulsivity and Aging
00:21:05
Speaker
There is no way that that that he'd be listening to this podcast in disguise. And ah every year I have this thing of like, what happened to Stephen Phillips? It's my what happened to Stephen Phillips hour.
00:21:20
Speaker
And then I get on i could get on the internet and I try and find him. I try and find him. I try every search, it's all chit. social thing I try and look up the news i I can never find him it's like he just disappeared into the ether that's weird hang on a sec my headphones need charging All right. Well, while that's happening, and he's talking about that, I can say something like the that the emotional regulation, different patterns emerge. So with ADHD, emotional impulsivity and autistic impulsivity
00:21:59
Speaker
um emotional overload can produce rapid emotional escalation, shutdown or withdrawal, an increased need to recover.
00:22:11
Speaker
so um So as our energy reserves start to go um ah we need longer time to rick rick recover from these things, like like like like driving an hour Yeah, because it's like, think, God, you know, I've been really, I'm tired because I've done a lot today. And I think, oh, what did I actually do? I went to go and get some groceries and I put them in and I did a bunch of tasks. I think normally, like 30, 40 years ago, would do those things without even thinking about it.
00:22:54
Speaker
Totally. Also, like alcohol things like alcohol, which are like, you know, is it's, it's is's it's um I don't know, there's this kind of a cultural thing about alcohol, isn't there? You you go to a bar, you you know, it's difficult to order glass of orange juice whatever. But even more difficult for me in Italy, where, you know, you're in a region where, well, virtually all of Italy is the most amazing wines, and I really like wine.
00:23:25
Speaker
But my recovery, like we were trying to limit it. So we maybe only have a, you know, go out and have a drink on a Friday or a Saturday night. But my recovery is really slow.
00:23:41
Speaker
yeah It's really hard because like I don't want to give up drinking because I ah love a glass of good wine. But at the same time, it it I get this fog, you know, that can last two or three days.
00:23:54
Speaker
oof Yeah, that's not good. That is not good. now Yeah, I don't. i Yeah, yeah. That's not good. i've I've cut out quite quite a lot of that stuff. And and it's been fine.
00:24:06
Speaker
You know, like... After a while, you kind of get used to it. At least that that's what I find. You you you kind of, it takes a while, but you kind go, okay, right, well, that's, you Yeah, I am getting used to wear it. And you get to the point where you um you get the same pleasure you used to get from getting drunk and and that kind of malarkey. You now get, you well, you can develop if you choose to,
00:24:37
Speaker
It's the same kind of joy from feeling
Overthinking, Sensitivity, and Self-Compassion
00:24:40
Speaker
lucid. Do you know I mean? That sounds nice. Yeah, it's nice, Martin. It's nice.
00:24:49
Speaker
Right. You're right. Being lucid. It's like, oh, that's that feels good. You know? Right. You know what, i was i was I was just thinking, you know, like, you know, with you know you get this pattern recognition thing, right, where yeah where you can kind of look at stuff. And then the older you get, the more the more in the more thing or the more data and information that you kind of collect over over the years and the decade and your own experiences and you see how things play out.
00:25:23
Speaker
And the older you get, the the the bigger the patterns become, like the more you can see what is really going on.
00:25:35
Speaker
Yes, in totally. I mean, that' that's scary at the moment. Well, Yes. Yes. It's a good thing and a bad thing.
00:25:47
Speaker
Yeah. it's It's scary at the moment. It's scary at the moment. if you're if you're what There was a guy, there's another podcast, he said, where the um the host of the podcast said to a psychologist specializing in ADHD, he said, what do you how do you most...
00:26:09
Speaker
frequently describe ADHD is that people that are over sensitive right and so um so which is which is has its plus and plus and minus right there's not this kind negative parts to that and positive because you are sensitive to things but at times like now I think, fucking hell, wish i was a little bit less sensitive sometimes. You know? You know?
00:26:40
Speaker
Yes. i know. I'm with you, Paul. I'm there. It's really hard right now being sensitive. Yeah. And it's turns out, yeah, I think and I think that's that's sensitivity is incredibly common.
00:26:55
Speaker
They've got a very common thread through ADHD and autism, when there are so many things that people say, are there's so many, so many differences and nuances and this and that some people feel like that some people don't. But sensitivity, ah think is a good one.
00:27:14
Speaker
It's it kind of, it's it's a pretty reliable thread that you get with people in our community, I think. Right. Yeah. But, um but yeah, but I think, you know with that thing about getting older, and you have less energy that it, that does produce a fatigue and anxiety and depression too. Oh yeah.
00:27:38
Speaker
So, you know, like just, just having ADHD or being LDHD and getting older, puts more, it's this funny dance that we do, isn't it? Because you have less energy to cope with it.
00:27:54
Speaker
and and And the ADHD and the autism don't go away. yeah Pretty much stays as is. But as you get older, you have to learn to cope and adapt yourself better so that as your energy declines, you actually manage your in environment and yourself better.
00:28:18
Speaker
so that it kind of offsets. Totally. Well, what I'm thinking of as you're saying that is one thing I've always thought of more recently, i well, not always, more recently thought of. I've always been a massive overthinker, but all of those years of overthinking has now enabled me to have such an agile mind that now I'm good at filtering it so that I overthink less.
00:28:48
Speaker
But that mental agility that ah obviously comes from overthinking that can become a positive in later life.
00:28:59
Speaker
Right. big example you know Because you've thought of you've thought through every fucking um eventuality you know of of of all kinds of shit that's happened in your life.
00:29:12
Speaker
And hopefully you get to a point where, okay, you start because you don't have the energy to deal with that anymore, but you have that mental brain, that agility, that mental agility to kind of like to juggle those different voices.
00:29:28
Speaker
Also, I think experience means that all that overthinking, the experience goes, well, actually, I know that there's a certain amount of overthinking that doesn't produce any results at all. It's just my brain churning. And actually, yeah yeah I can just...
00:29:44
Speaker
I know that I don't have to, I can catch myself doing it and then go, yeah, no, that's pointless. Yeah. so So, yeah, i i think you're you're absolutely absolutely right. yeah Yeah. well i would think I often thought that I stopped overthinking because I got to a point where I couldn't do it anymore.
00:30:06
Speaker
I didn't have any energy left to to live like that. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. know? Yeah, yeah. That's a lot of lot of fucking brain.
00:30:16
Speaker
Blimey. It's like a wellness computer processor, you know. It's stored all that stuff somewhere. Right. All right. Well, do we have any more before we wrap this that the up? this there's a I mean, we talked about a lot of negative things other than that last point. You know, there are some positive things that happen. There's some positive things. Self-compassion.
00:30:46
Speaker
finally fucking hell like you martin you say at the end of every podcast take fucking care good care of yourself and it i mean i mean i mean it was a genius part you of your part that it's always been there at the end of every podcast because so much of this is about self-compassion
Rating Aging and ADHD
00:31:09
Speaker
You know? yeah Oh, God, yeah. That's the key, man. It's the biggie. It is the biggie.
00:31:15
Speaker
Finally giving ourselves a break. Right, because like once once you do that, then you can you can then look around and kind of go, okay, well, what works for me? What doesn't work work for me? you know Drop the shame, drop drop the guilt. Let's just kind of like work.
00:31:32
Speaker
Let's just find a life for ourselves that that that works. All that energy with that we wasted from overthinking and worrying about rejection and blah, blah, blah. Let's use that for positive stuff.
00:31:47
Speaker
Let's do that, Paul. Let's do that. I like that. Paul, yeah. All right. Okay. Cool. Well, let's, I think, um I think now is the the point where we should rate aging.
00:32:06
Speaker
ADHD. That's an interesting one. It's an interesting one in the context of the last episode that was about love, right? that was it It was a 10 on the dopamine. It was a 10 on the burnout.
00:32:17
Speaker
Right. Yeah. i' um i'm done so Anyway, let's just hit i yeah hit the hit the button. Is it banjo time? It is banjo time, mate. That's it.
00:32:29
Speaker
Relax. Enjoy. Is it a dopamine hit or is it a burnout thing? Ageing. Is it a hit or is it a burnout thing?
00:32:42
Speaker
okay Right. Oh, blimey. I mean, come on, mate. Okay, all right. This is a hard one. I mean, i mean look look, death is the ultimate burnout. Burnout, especially if you're cremated.
00:32:59
Speaker
Ah, So... She creates the ultimate burnout. Right. So is um is there much dopamine to be had in getting older? And I think that there is. I think that... Yes, there is. for Some of your points that you were talking about earlier.
00:33:14
Speaker
Yeah. There definitely is. Dopamine hits. so I'm getting a lot of dopamine hits that I never thought I would ever have in ah my whole life. Thanks to old age and thanks to my diagnosis. Right. Loads.
00:33:29
Speaker
Loads. and and And actually helping other people to... um um Helping other people that are either autistic or ADHD or um my age or our age, blah, blah, blah. Dopamine.
00:33:46
Speaker
Hit score. Aging. Blimey, this is hard. I know. I want to say seven. i I would put it around there as well. I would say like hey eight. um I'm going to more generous. season Isn't that fascinating that we would give seven yeah a dopamine hit score? Seven to aging.
00:34:09
Speaker
That's brilliant. Love that. Right, because at the end of the day, it When you recognize the good stuff of it, yes it it's it's it's it becomes everything.
00:34:23
Speaker
Yeah. It's like a flower that's blossoming in our later years. We've just been waiting. for the right moment. Yeah, yeah. All right. um ah is it is Is aging a burnout? Burnout. It's also burnout, you see.
00:34:39
Speaker
it is. It's also burnout. I'm going to seven again. Seven for burnout. I've got equal. i'm gonna go like I'm going to go to yeah. i You know what?
00:34:52
Speaker
In my head, I hope that it is about a seven. Yeah. All right. There we go. so yeah this I'll tell you another reason, controversial reason, but I'm going to say anyway, why this is seven on the burnout. Because we weren't supposed to live this long. It's only because of recent scientific um um progression, right, if that's what you want to call it, that we're living this long. We've already had a good life.
00:35:22
Speaker
Oh, yeah. You know? I've heard It's like risk on how we should, in theory, live to like we're in our early 80s. That's good. That's all right. That's fine. I'm planning to hit mid-80s at the earliest. Right.
00:35:40
Speaker
Personally. Okay. um Unless my brain goes, and then once that's happened, fuck it. Yeah. um Throw me off ah off ah off a cliff, mate, because I'm just i'm just some useless.
00:35:53
Speaker
Without a parachute. Yeah, no, no. Give me a parachute, right? Give me a parachute and say, don't worry, Right? You've got parachute. just just pull the cord and then push me off. And then realize halfway down that you've cut off the cord. yeah that they' no corrd yeah And didn't cut off the cord. it never had the cord. yeah yeah Yeah. yeah, yeah, It's like, hang on second.
00:36:25
Speaker
Passing yourself
Reflections on Past Experiences and Relationships
00:36:26
Speaker
down. Your life flashing before you. I'm sure I'll put it here somewhere. yeah Exactly. um All right. Fuck it. Great. All right. What are we doing next? Alexandra's halted in next. Fuck it, then. It's time to jump in the tractor.
00:36:49
Speaker
I can still I can still drive. Only joust. Only joust. All right.
00:37:00
Speaker
Well, she's left a note for us. um so last week's ah episode um on the pod, ah you said you had you you had this anecdote about this girl that you met at the bus stop. You chatted.
00:37:16
Speaker
You went your way. She went hers. You forgot that you didn't get her number. And then you decided that that you would ah print out um sort of like a poster campaign somewhere around where you thought she lived in the hopes that that she would call you. um And we said, is it creepy or not? Right.
00:37:39
Speaker
Yes. She says, oh, Paul, that's so cute, but a bit creepy. a pius in ah in ah In a good way, though.
00:37:51
Speaker
at the same time yeah right you have to understand that women sometimes might feel more uncomfortable with knowing you've been near where they live it can give stalker vibes yeah like we've seen a lot of a lot of creeps and we don't know your intentions but if we but if they're but if someone knows you yeah that's very cute so that's yeah so was fantastic I think I get that. It depends. ah But i unfortunately, I didn't keep a copy of said poster. And I wish I did. All right. So I could show it to you right now. Just look what I wrote. because I have no idea.
00:38:32
Speaker
i don't know whether I wrote it in a creepy way or in a really intelligent and almost poetic way. Right. But I think if the girl in question knew yeah it was her, yes that you were...
00:38:48
Speaker
that that that's what that was about it was about her yeah then because i i remember thinking when i was writing i need to be discreet because she didn't tell me if she was in a in a in a relationship with someone and i didn't want to because i knew her name but i couldn't write her name down because then if she was in a relationship he would say her her her man would say what the fuck and she'll get into trouble Right, as he as he comes in holding this piece of paper that says, Oi, Sonia, you look right fit.
00:39:20
Speaker
um Yeah, right. Do you like flowers and chicken? hu Right.
00:39:32
Speaker
um ah Yeah, so anyway. Yeah. she i don't get The answer to that, Alexandra, is... To be honest, I don't know. Because I think it really comes down to how I wrote the poster. No, no, no. I can't remember.
00:39:51
Speaker
It doesn't come down to that at all. Because if she knew if she knew it was her, right, yeah that's it all depends on whether it's creepy or not. It all depends on what she remembers about you, right?
00:40:07
Speaker
Right. oh, I really liked that that guy. he was He was really funny and it was when he was really intelligent. like If I'd already laid down the groundwork. Yes.
00:40:18
Speaker
Then she'd go, oh, that's kind of cute. Right. But if if she was like, oh, with that guy a little bit weird and this is a little bit weird, then she'd go, yeah, yeah that that's fucking weird. um But the but But the fact that i phoned you the the that that she phoned you, that she phoned you afterwards kind of suggests to me that she was more less less creepy.
00:40:47
Speaker
Because if she thought you were full creep, she wouldn't have phoned. But she did phone you, I think. Right. oh So you were less creepy. Yeah. Yeah. um Anyway, and she, i ah Paul, so um if you if if if you haven't all already, go and read um her comments about on on our love episode, because ah and if you at home haven't, go go on to go on to go onto a YouTube could because she wrote lots of amazing stuff about about about love that I can't even begin to...
Engagement and Listener Interaction
00:41:21
Speaker
um
00:41:21
Speaker
ah ah go but but but but But she did say this little one there that the fitted in with this episode. Oh. oh it says She says, I love seeing everywhere around us in nature, in art, in people. Young love makes me smile. It's so energetic and innocent. But...
00:41:41
Speaker
What can truly make my day is old love. Yeah. love When I see an old an old couple holding hands. Yeah. When I see an old couple doing things took together, it's so sweet and it can bring tears to my eyes.
00:41:57
Speaker
Tears to my eyes. Eyes. Eyes. Mind. Eyes. um So there we go. Nice. Thanks for that, alex like Alexandra. Thank you. So that just leaves you to say, your feedback is vital to us. Come on. We want your comments. Give it to us.
00:42:17
Speaker
All your comments. And if we like your comments, or maybe if we don't like your comments, it might be whatever. We might read it out anyway. Tell us we they suck.
00:42:28
Speaker
Tell us we suck. Tell us we suck. And then tell us how we could improve. Yes. Don't just tell us some that we sucked. Tell us why we suck. Yes. And it's all good.
00:42:39
Speaker
Just don't say with that you're mediocre. Oh. Don't say we're middle of the ground. We don't want to hear that. Beige. I'd rather hear that we suck. Yeah.
00:42:49
Speaker
So would I. Yeah. All right. I think now it is time to... Quiz. It's the quiz. It's the quiz.
00:43:02
Speaker
It's quiz.
Musical Guilty Pleasures
00:43:03
Speaker
Okay. Oh, Martin. So let's bring up these these scores. So currently, ah Paul and I have a quiz eat each week ae and ah we keep a score. And currently, I'm on four points and you're on three points. Yes. So there's only one on one game in it.
00:43:28
Speaker
And this week it's your turn. Yes. And this week, Martin, yes ah we're we're back on the theme of you think you know me after 40 years of knowing each other, but do you really?
00:43:45
Speaker
um But this week is a music special. Okay, all right. I'm in. music special. Okay. I'm down. So I've got three different sets of questions. You have to choose one of them, okay, as being made up.
00:44:02
Speaker
All right. Two of them are true. One is made up. Okay. First one, I'm calling this guilty pleasures one. Okay. Okay. Yep. By your intention, man, you're already assuming there's a guilty pleasures two. You're absolutely right, Martin.
00:44:20
Speaker
But in the meantime, Guilty Pleasures 1, right? Yes. I still have some vinyl. I've got a box of vinyl, Martin. I still have it a box of vinyl from the 80s and 90s.
00:44:33
Speaker
All right.
00:44:36
Speaker
Okay. And I'm going to give you a list of three vinyl, okay? Yeah. And you have to guess which one is not in my collection. Okay. Okay.
00:44:50
Speaker
okay yeah and it's guilty pleasures so some they're going to surprise you i think martin okay
00:45:02
Speaker
first one s express theme from s express from 1988 seven inch s express yeah okay S, express.
00:45:16
Speaker
Okay. Number two, Betty Boo, Doing the Do, 1990. ninety Okay. doing the Do. Yeah. Right. oh not Yeah, yeah.
00:45:30
Speaker
Okay. I like this. I'm enjoying this one. Yeah. So am I, and I wrote it. yeah Number three, letter from the Letter from America, The Proclaimers.
00:45:44
Speaker
I'm going to be 1987. S express theme from S express, Betty Boo doing the do letter from America. The proclaimers.
00:45:56
Speaker
fuck How, does how, how does the, do you know how the letter from America goes? um Take a look down the real track.
00:46:10
Speaker
A letter from America. it Brilliant. i'm so I'm so glad I asked that. Yeah, thanks. yeah You know what? I would say... i would say...
00:46:27
Speaker
How do you... are Okay, ah look, my um there are so many ways to think about this that my brain is melting out of my skull. Your eyes are bleeding.
00:46:38
Speaker
Yes. ah Guilty pleasures. i think... The one that isn't your guilty pleasure that that you don't have in your record collection, I guess, is Letter from America. The one I don't have.
00:46:55
Speaker
Yeah, even though you did sing it, which means you know it really well. Uh-huh. But, yeah, I'm going to say that that that one's false. um okay Okay. It's a visual as well. For those watching on YouTube, yeah here's the first one.
00:47:13
Speaker
So yes, Betty Boob doing the do. All right. That is a nice nice cover. I'm quite enjoying that. I'm quite enjoying the visual. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. It's the reveal.
00:47:28
Speaker
And you've got SXS. Okay. Then... I was right. ah do have the proclaimers, but not Letter from America.
00:47:53
Speaker
walk 504 So you you're right Martin, well done That was stab in the dark Oh, I need an applause button Let me just add add that in for next week Alright, question two Question two, theme
00:48:14
Speaker
um um I like the start of this one. Theme of this one. Theme of this one. My homophobic mother.
00:48:26
Speaker
Jesus
00:48:30
Speaker
fucking Christ. Yeah. My mother and father once were invited to a film premiere, okay, yeah in the West End of London, and afterwards there was ah there was a party at the Natural History Museum.
00:48:47
Speaker
Okay. My father went to the men's room and it had a piss next to one of these three people.
00:49:00
Speaker
click Right? Yes. The result, though was that when he came back from said piss, he couldn't tell her for fear that she would cause a fracas.
00:49:16
Speaker
Okay, so he couldn't tell you he's his his wife. My mother. Yeah, okay. Okay, one. Yes. One, Marilyn.
00:49:29
Speaker
The pop pop star? Yes, the pop star.
Wrap Up and Future Topics
00:49:33
Speaker
Okay. Two.
00:49:37
Speaker
Divine. Oh, you um you swing me right round, baby, right round. No. No, that's someone else. Oh, God damn it.
00:49:49
Speaker
That's someone else. I can't remember what it was. Divine. Divine, um he was a kind of... um
00:50:00
Speaker
he he did do music and he had loads of music, but he was also a cabaret performer. And yeah. Also acted as well.
00:50:12
Speaker
Also did some acting. All right. Okay. So, um um, and three is boy, George. So Marilyn divine or boy, George.
00:50:25
Speaker
Which one did my father not tell my mother about for the fear of her causing a fracas at the Natural History Museum? See, I'm thinking that your mum, God rest her soul, yeah um may not have heard of Divine, may not have heard of Marilyn, but would definitely have heard of Boyd George.
00:50:53
Speaker
Yes. And your dad would know who Boy George was. Yes. That's the thing. so I'm not entirely sure that your dad would know who these other two were, but he'd know Boy George.
00:51:05
Speaker
Fuck you.
00:51:08
Speaker
Yes, you're right. You're right. I'm seeing the weakness in the question now. ah I didn't think it through.
00:51:18
Speaker
see us Okay. So you've got you've you've won this week. But anyway, let's I've got another category, though. Divine, you think a man. That's yeah. Yeah, yeah. You think you're a But you're boy. Boy,
00:51:33
Speaker
that's right yeah
00:51:40
Speaker
yeah you think you're man but but but but me a boy boy yes
00:51:49
Speaker
so yeah true story my my dad took a piss next to boy george and was didn't tell my mum okay all right she would have as well she would have caused a fracal she was terrible with blimey stuff yeah yeah not pretty right this one is called guilty pleasures to martin okay I'm going to give you three different records, two of which are my guilty pleasures, even if I don't have a record of theirs.
00:52:26
Speaker
Right. hi Okay? Okay. One of them I made up. It's not a guilty pleasure. All right. One is not a guilty But when i say guilty pleasure, I really like them a lot.
00:52:37
Speaker
Right. Okay. Right. Okay. Number one, Katy Perry, California Girls. And I'm going to give you a rendition. Okay.
00:52:48
Speaker
California girls were unforgettable. Daisy, Duke's bikinis on top. Sun kiss so hot. We'll melt your popsicle. Oh, oh, oh, oh,
00:53:02
Speaker
There you go. fuck Fucking brilliant. ah Like that. hey Karaoke legend. Thanks, mate. Number two, Angels by Robin Williams. And through it all, she offers me protection, a lot of love and affection, whether I'm right or wrong. wrong And down the waterfall, wherever it may take me, yeah I know that life won't break me when I come to call.
00:53:34
Speaker
She won't forsake me. Blah, blah, blah. Okay? yes Last but not least, Eye of the Tiger by Survivor. Rising up get to back on the street. Did my time, took my chances.
00:53:51
Speaker
Went the distance, no one back on my feet. Just a man with his will to survive. okay right All right. Okay. By the Tiger, Survivor. Angels, Robin Williams or Katy Pella.
00:54:05
Speaker
Katy Pella? Katy Perry? Katy Perry? California Girls. So one of those is not your guilty pleasure. a guilty pleasure. i mean, okay, let let me just zone in zoom in. I mean, Angels by Robbie Williams is just an epic song.
00:54:24
Speaker
It's just so good. i think i mean like so I think that's on your on your list. So really, I think Eye of the Tiger. How can you not like Eye of the Tiger?
00:54:38
Speaker
dank danked I mean, it's So I think Katy Perry, California Girls, is not a guilty pleasure of yours, but the other two You're wrong, Martin. who It's Angels. Robbie Williams is not a guilty pleasure. cover Not a big fan of it. ah you're no friend of mine.
00:55:02
Speaker
Yeah, I know. i know. meet made my ah Me Tom, we so we sing California Girls by Katy Perry a lot. A lot.
00:55:13
Speaker
Like on car trips, we used to sing it a lot. yeah paid I like Robbie Williams. I like him more now than I used to. I just used i used to think he was a bit too much of a...
00:55:29
Speaker
cocky kind of, you know, no, I like him. He's just like, he's cool. I like him now. Right. Because i've I've watched a couple of documentaries and he is, and he is as neurodivergent as f Oh my God.
00:55:43
Speaker
He used to, he used to sniff, he used to snort his ADHD medication. Right. There we go. So, I mean, um, office, you know, it's not, you know,
00:55:57
Speaker
um But I like him. I like his honesty. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. He doesn't pretend to be anything else than, you know, this kind of slightly you know crazy guy.
00:56:08
Speaker
Right. So, Robbie, if you're watching, come on the i'll come on the podcast. We're happily happy as a guest. Right. So we're now on 5-3. 5-3. Is the scores on the doors? All right. So. There you go.
00:56:22
Speaker
Music special.
00:56:26
Speaker
so ah know music move it special it's now time time to talk about what are we going to talk about next week? And it's my turn, my turn to talk.
00:56:36
Speaker
Um, and I was, uh, going down the list because, you know, because you we have extensive lists of things that we can talk about that we just like literally just look at. and And, um,
00:56:51
Speaker
And I saw ADHD and taking a bus. I thought, okay i thought well, that's interesting. um But let's expand it out to public transport. transport So trains, automobiles.
00:57:07
Speaker
Alexandra this week, she's been TikToking a lot about her bus driver. Yes, she has. She has. Yeah. And it's wonderful.
00:57:18
Speaker
Public transport can be tricky. Yeah, right, right, right. Yeah, because you've got a lot going on there. You've got, you know, yeah. You have to take a ride with the neurotypicals.
00:57:30
Speaker
Yeah, we do. Yeah, we do. There's all the risks entailed. Right. So I thought that seemed like, so you're right. I was looking at her TikTok bus TikTok, and then the but bus came out. and thought, yeah, this is, this is, give give the crowd what they want, Paul.
00:57:51
Speaker
Yes. Give the crowd what they want. Exactly. Buses. Public transport. All right. So, with that, that just leaves me to say ADHD, Phil, is delivered fresh every Tuesday to all providers of fine podcasts. Please subscribe to the pod and rate us most noble old guys. that Feel free to correspond at Will in the comments. But wait, there's more if you wish to see our beautiful, beautiful faces.
00:58:21
Speaker
Then, uh, say all. to the YouTube tus and the TikToks. And you can also pick up a quill and email us at ADHDville at gmail.com. But the meantime, fucking kind to yourself.
00:58:34
Speaker
And appreciate you fellow ADHDers. Fare thee well, Will. Gladness of heart. Nice. Nice.
00:58:45
Speaker
Will this thing flash? No, won't. I just... I saw that... I've got this, er... torch, er... And I just saw it randomly by the side of my desk.
00:58:56
Speaker
I was like, oh! Right. That is quite random. ah wonder if it's going to do anything in ink interesting. But it doesn't. Lovely.
00:59:07
Speaker
Lovely. Well, that was good.
00:59:12
Speaker
Did you do the Trump... I didn't hear it. Trump to the mayor. That's that. did do that. There, says the mayor. Oh, there he That's that. There he is.