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Leaving the Booze Behind - a conversation with author Paul McCormack
16 Plays7 days ago
What if you left booze behind? You started with good intentions, just thirty days without alcohol, but somehow you never remembered to return to the booze.
That is what Paul McCormack did.
In this episode of The Independent Minds Paul explains to Michael Millward how his life changed after just thirty days without an alcoholic drink.
It was such a positive change that Paul decided to continue living alcohol free.
Paul describes how he was a middle-lane drinker, who considered his relationship with and consumption of alcohol to be normal.
The during lockdown with lots of free time on his hands he examined his relationship with booze and the journey to sobriety started.
Now Paul is a qualified positive psychology coach with an alcohol-free specialisation. He helps other 'middle-lane drinkers' do what he did; better understand their relationship with alcohol and works with them to achieve their goals while they take a break from the booze.
Proactive Positive Ageing.
Alcohol can have a dramatic impact on your health. Knowing the affect alcohol has had on your health can influence the best way to achieve an alcohol-free life.
It is always a good idea to know the risks early so that you can take appropriate actions to maintain good health, that is why we recommend The Annual Health Test from York Test.
York Test provides an Annual Health Test. An experienced phlebotomist will complete a full blood draw at your home or workplace. Hospital standard tests covering 39 different health markers are carried out in a UKAS-accredited and CQC-compliant laboratory.
A Personal Wellness Hub gives access your easy-to-understand results and guidance to help you make effective lifestyle changes anytime via your secure, personal Wellness Hub account.
Visit York Test and use this discount code ABECEDER1.
Fit For My Age is made on Zencastr.
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If you would like to try podcasting using Zencastr visit zencastr.com/pricing and use our offer code ABECEDER.
Alcohol-free Travel and alcohol-free locations
Holidays are often when the temptation to drink alcohol can become irresistible. To find alcohol-free ways to travel and destinations visit the Ultimate Travel Club for trade prices on flights, hotels, and holidays. Use our offer code ABEC79 to receive a discount on your membership fee.
Find out more about both Michael Millward and Paul McCormack at Abeceder.co.uk.
Leaving Booze Behind
Buy Paul’s book Leaving Booze Behind at these bookshops
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Being a Guest
If you would like to be a guest on Fit For My Age, please contact using the link at Abeceder.co.uk.
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Transcript
Introduction to Fit for My Age Podcast
00:00:05
Speaker
Made on Zencaster. Hello and welcome to Fit for My Age, the health and wellbeing podcast from Abecedah. I'm your host, Michael Millward, the managing director of Abecedah. As the jingle at the start of this podcast says, Fit for My Age is made on Zencaster. Zencaster is the all-in-one podcasting platform on which you can make your podcast in one place and then distribute it to the major platforms like Spotify, Apple, Amazon, and YouTube Music.
00:00:36
Speaker
Zencaster really does make making podcasts so easy. If you would like to try podcasting using Zencaster, visit zencaster dot.com forward slash pricing and use my offer code ABACEDA. All the details are in the description.
00:00:53
Speaker
Now that I have told you how wonderful Zencasteries for making podcasts, we should make one. One that will be well worth listening to, liking, downloading, and subscribing to. Very importantly, on Fit For My Age, we don't tell you what to think, but we do hope to make you think.
Meet the Guest: Paul McCormack
00:01:12
Speaker
to Today, my guest is Paul McCormack from tacticalbreak dot.com. Paul is an alcohol-free coach who helps men solve the alcohol puzzle and perform at their best. So he combines <unk>ll alcohol-free coaching with performance coaching and we're going to find out a bit more about both of those aspects.
00:01:35
Speaker
Paul is from London, which is an expensive place to visit when like me, you're traveling from Northern England. That is why when I travel or stay in London, I always make my travel arrangements with the ultimate travel club, because that is where you can access trade prices on flights, hotels, and holidays. You'll find a link and a membership discount code in the description.
00:01:57
Speaker
Now that I've paid the rent, and it is time to make this episode of Fit for My Age. Hello, Paul. Hi, Michael. Thank you for having me. It's a great pleasure. Of course, now we've said you're from London, but that's not a London accent, is it? It's definitely not, no. I'll probably be able to tell that I'm from a little bit further north, north of the border in Scotland. um But I have spent the last 10 or so years in London and in Sydney.
00:02:24
Speaker
So I've been travelling around a fair bit. Very proud, I'm sure, that you've managed to maintain that Scottish lilt to your accent. Well, yeah, I think um it's it's hard to lose it, but some people might say it's a little bit different these days, but I've had to i've had to adapt it as I've gone around. There was times and in Sydney where I could tell that people had no idea what I was saying. They had some difficulty tuning into it. and So it's meld a little bit, but I think it's ah yeah still safe you're still safe to say that I'm definitely Scottish.
00:02:53
Speaker
That's great. Can we start by you just sort of explaining a little bit more about who Paul is and how you came to the point where you're launching this tactical break and your coaching business?
00:03:05
Speaker
Yeah,
Starting an Alcohol-Free Journey
00:03:06
Speaker
for sure. So let's go back to June 2020 when this all really started to happen. I decided to do what was called dry July and still is over in Sydney. That's their version of of dry January with it obviously being the winter. And the reason I did that was I had realised that for the six weeks prior with it being Covid, no commute, lack of responsibilities um that had during during that weird time um that we all went through. I had been pouring myself a glass of wine, having a couple of glasses of wine each night for about six weeks. And I got to the stage where I thought, that's not that's not what I want to be doing. I don't i don't feel as healthy as I normally do. So I thought, let's let's give that let's give that a break.
00:03:54
Speaker
It was also coupled by the fact that I got a puppy at the same time. And if anyone who's had a puppy, they will know that when they are at that age, they can be very demanding. They get up.
00:04:09
Speaker
Early in the morning, my puppy was particularly energetic. he He demanded attention. I used to to swear that my wife had spiked his water bowl with with red bull because in the morning he was he was he was a maniac. We great trained him.
00:04:27
Speaker
So we'd we'd get up we'd take it in turns to get up in the morning and let him out so he could so he could play and be entertained. And that would often be at 5am, maybe even before, but but certainly never after 6. Doing that after having a couple of glasses of wine just wasn't serving me. So the reason I decided to take a tactical break at that time was mainly down to to my dog Rolo. So I've got him to thank for where I am now. So that kind of sets the scene of of why I took that tactical break. And it was initially only for 30 days. I had absolutely no intention of giving up alcohol for for good, which is what that turned out to be back on the 28th of June 2020. And in fact, if you'd have said that to me then, I would have laughed in your face because that was not part of my plan. But what happened was during that
00:05:22
Speaker
30 days. I ah just felt better, right? I was sleeping better.
Benefits of Living Alcohol-Free
00:05:27
Speaker
I was, um you know, I had more energy. Yeah, my my mental health was a lot better. My memory was better. I started performing better and work. All these kind of things happened. And I thought, I tell you what,
00:05:39
Speaker
given that it's COVID, given that things are still not open, let's see if I can test myself and do 100 days alcohol free. And that was a big challenge for me. And that would have been the longest I'd ever done at that point. And that's what I did. But during that time, I found between months two and three very difficult. I had to really dive into the reasons why I was doing what I was doing.
00:06:02
Speaker
I had to really research what it was that alcohol was, why it was making me feel better and why it made me feel so bad in the very beginning. And at that time, I was still using willpower to to stop myself from drinking. And it wasn't until I did this research and reframed my mindset on what alcohol was actually doing, the um the switch flicked for me. I then managed to challenge myself to do a year and I managed to get to that milestone and I've continued on. right And the reason I'm doing what I'm doing now is because it had such a profound impact on my life.
00:06:41
Speaker
that I wanted to make sure that other people were aware that they could do the same thing. So that's where I am now and we can talk more about all these benefits that I've had going forward but but that's the story that's the story from 14 years ago to to today. We will do. I'm interested though when you so say you were like you were relying on willpower. Were you combating a habit or a compulsion? ah I'm avoiding using the word sort of like a dependency or anything on on alcohol. you were You were relying on willpower who to stop yourself from drinking. I'm wondering, what did that feel like in terms of the reason why you
00:07:23
Speaker
It was a struggle. Was it a habit? Oh, at this time, the clock has reached this point. So therefore, we I should be having a drink now. Or was it almost a physical craving for the alcohol? So that's a great question. And the reason that I was using willpower is because I still assigned a benefit to me drinking alcohol. I saw it as a reward.
00:07:47
Speaker
I saw it as a way for me to relax, to unwind, to switch off. So I associated a benefit with drinking alcohol. So when I was on my initial break and not drinking alcohol,
00:08:02
Speaker
there was feelings of restriction, feelings of resentment. Why was I limiting myself from having this this benefit? And the benefit that had been with me or so I thought from the ages of 17, whenever you first start to have that that drink, it had been with me for half my life. So it wasn't until I realized that the benefits that I thought I was getting from alcohol weren't actually true, that I didn't need willpower anymore. Just on this the subject of willpower, it's never the um but kind of tactic to use if you're looking to implement long lasting change.
00:08:44
Speaker
Well power is like an energy resource.
Challenges and Willpower in Quitting Alcohol
00:08:46
Speaker
It's going to run out. Then you're going to get to a point where you're going to decide to have a drink because your willpower has been used up and all the other hard decisions that life throws at you. So it's not until you reframe your mindset and realize that alcohol potentially isn't serving you that the choice becomes not one of willpower, but one of actually something that serves you going forward.
00:09:11
Speaker
You're replacing, I suppose, in in some ways, the reason why you were drinking, whatever that was, with a reason not to drink rather than the willpower. Yes, I could have that drink, but I could also do all these other things as well, and I'd rather do the other things. Yeah. And I think the other things, and this is where it's a tricky subject, right? Because until you give yourself the gift of a tactical break,
00:09:41
Speaker
you don't realise the full impacts that regularly drinking alcohol has on you. So there's two there's two avenues to it, if you like.
00:09:52
Speaker
There's the the the the physical benefits and the mental benefits that you receive from giving yourself a break from alcohol, the things like having more energy, your sleep gets better, start to notice potentially europe your skin conditions clear up, um you've got more clarity, your brain fog isn't pronounced at all, you've got increased mental focus,
00:10:16
Speaker
You might be able to lose weight easier. You gain muscle easier. you know all All these things that you start to to actually benefit from about two or three weeks after you know not drinking alcohol. So you start to realize all of that. And then when you start to do the work on reframing what alcohol actually is, so why am I getting better sleep? Why am I more energetic? Why is my skin cleared up? And you start to realize all the reasons when you go, oh, right.
00:10:45
Speaker
So actually, I'm getting all these benefits because there was all these negatives that alcohol was causing, and then becomes a decision which is much easier to make from your from your choice to have a drink or not. It's not one of relying on willpower. It's one of, I'm making this conscious choice because it's better for me at this stage. Yes.
00:11:05
Speaker
And sometimes I think, why do we make a decision to so like start drinking? like The legal age to start drinking, to buy drink alcohol for yourself in the UK is 18. But a few minutes ago, you said, well, you started drinking when you were 17. And in reality,
00:11:22
Speaker
Most of us, I think, start drinking, going into pubs before we're 18. Why? why do we Why do we start consuming something that is a drug that has all of these negative impacts on us?
00:11:37
Speaker
But what is it that makes us start? Well, I talk about this in and my book, actually. I wrote a ah short e-book, Leaving Booze Behind. And in the very first chapter, that's what I speak about. and And for me, and this could be different for other people, but for me, my earliest memory of alcohol was at my gran's house.
00:12:02
Speaker
roundabout Christmas time. There was two tables. There was the adults table and there was a children's table. And at the adults table they had their glasses of wine, they had their champagne chilling in the fridge, and they were drinking and getting merry and enjoying themselves. And then at the kids table my gran bless her was trying to make sure that we didn't feel left out. So what she did was put plastic wine glasses on our table and we had that um sparkling grape juice, schlur. And and we we were drinking that, right? So we were mimicking the adults and mimicking their good time and being conditioned to drink alcohol in that way. And because of that, I feel like it's something that young adults used to see as something that they errant with age.
00:12:57
Speaker
So as you get to 17, 18, you're allowed to now have this um substance that everyone else um is drinking. Your parents maybe be you know are having it to to relax after work. Or if you're watching TV, movies, there's top you know doctors, surgeons, spies, detectives. After every stressful situation or every celebration, they've got a glass of alcohol in their hands. So everywhere we look,
00:13:27
Speaker
it's It's there, it's glamorised, and it's something that I think you you think that you you earn with age. So you get to that age of 18, 17, whatever it is, you go to the pubs, you try it. You might not actually like it in the first instance. You might think it tastes a little bit weird. Being tipsy was fun.
00:13:46
Speaker
It was, but then you're saying like it tastes funny. Yeah. You know, it's always tasted strange, unpleasant from my perspective. no Always found it difficult to understand why would you drink something that like one of the drinks is called bitter and it is bitter. Yeah. It is bitter. One of the reasons why we mix spirits with a soft drink is to bulk the drink out, but actually also to make it taste better.
00:14:14
Speaker
Yep. We find all sorts of different ways to justify, it like you say, the consumption of alcohol to reflect our status in many ways. But actually, when you think about it, it's not a pleasant substance in most circumstances. And well, I haven't had a drink for a long time, really the most I'll have is a glass of shine but the I know what you mean when you say these things we become conditioned, you know, James Bond. yeah there are I'm sure many people would not have known the drink until they saw the film. and so On your point about finding the taste a little bit funny, it's actually the body's way of telling us
00:14:58
Speaker
that what we're consuming isn't good for us. There's a reason we don't like the taste. There's a like a reason why eventually after drinking so much that the body ejects it. That's a very polite way of describing something very unpleasant.
00:15:13
Speaker
Yeah, well, listen, no one wants to hear that alcohol is a group one carcinogen or that it causes seven different types of cancer um or or that the new guidelines are that there's no safe level of alcohol consumption. But essentially, it is a poison and it is damaging physical and and mental health, but there's still that benefit attached to it. For most people that I speak to, there's there's two reasons why why they drink. It's to relax and unwind.
00:15:43
Speaker
or it's to socialise. Yeah, it's just a norm in the Western world. It's what we've we've always done. And especially in Scotland, Ireland, it's um it's what people do. The pub is such a big part of life there. And this is changing now with the introduction of more alcohol-free drinks, which is making... it It's the best time ever to to to be alcohol-free, but it's just been such a big part of society up until now that it's that it's accepted and something that that people don't think twice about a lot.
00:16:11
Speaker
Yes, I know precisely what you mean. this It is part of being an adult. you know You've described yourself as a ah middle lane drinker. What is a middle lane drinker? So I think the easiest way to describe that actually is to say what a middle lane drinker is not. Right. So there are two types of people who wouldn't fall into that middle lane drinker category. and And sometimes they're called grey area drinking. Those who don't drink at all,
00:16:38
Speaker
or people who are physically dependent on alcohol. right Anyone else would fall into the middle lane. So whether that's from having a glass of wine every evening or every other evening, or someone who doesn't drink money to Friday, but then goes out and has 10 pints on a Saturday.
00:16:55
Speaker
Yeah. They're not physically dependent in terms of alcohol alcoholism, but it's part of that. Their lifestyle is a habit and it's something that you do yeah get all of that. So the majority of people, if they engage in alcohol consumption will be middle lane drinkers. And there's all sorts of variations. yeah Now that you've mentioned alcohol dependency, I think it is worth pointing out that you've got to assess your your level of alcohol consumption in some sort of way.
00:17:20
Speaker
and work out whether it is safe for you simply to stop. yeah Because it's it's not just a case of, I'm not going to have another drink, end of. There can be serious implications for giving up alcohol. yeah And I was talking to other people as well who've talked about, you mentioned those those first two weeks are extremely difficult.
00:17:43
Speaker
It is worth not doing it alone. You're getting some advice, getting an opinion, reading the books and making sure that what you're doing is is right for you, I suppose. Yeah. And that's a really important point that you make. And as ah as a responsible alcohol-free coach, performance coach, I always have that conversation upfront with with my clients. And the first thing that we do is we fill in the alcohol questionnaire. And what this does is, it's I think it's six six questions, and at the end of it, there is a score. And if the score is over a certain amount, that would mean that myself or any other alcohol-free coach wouldn't be the best person um to give advice to that particular person about not drinking alcohol.
00:18:32
Speaker
because and without wanting to get too technical on this, you'd mentioned it before about the dependency, that the but alcohol is is classed as a depressant. So in fact, let me explain this another way. there's There's three types of drugs. You've got your stimulants, which is things like, um you know, ecstasy, cocaine. You've got your hallucinogens, which is things like mushrooms or LSD.
00:19:00
Speaker
And then you've got your depressants, um which is things like alcohol and heroin. Now, alcohol and heroin, because they are depressants, if you are physically dependent on them and you have to stop taking them cold turkey, as they say, then the potential impacts of that can be fatal because of the way that those drugs interact with the central nervous system.
Understanding Alcohol Dependency
00:19:26
Speaker
Now, incredibly, cocaine, which is absolutely more addictive than alcohol, but if you were to decide not to take your kid anymore, you weren't physically dependent and you said, no, I'm not going to take it anymore, there wouldn't be that risk of it being fatal fatal to you in the same way that it is for alcohol. um So I think that's a very important distinction to make, that as a responsible coach around this area, I will only enter into work with people who are not at that stage.
00:19:55
Speaker
And that's the reason for it. So let's go move on then to program that you offer. Tell me about the program that you offer. Yeah. So what I've created is, is something called the untapped performance project and it's split into two stages. And the reason for that is I want to help men be able to perform at their peak.
00:20:19
Speaker
And I know from my own experience and those that I've worked with that the gateway to achieving peak performance in and out of work is to take a tactical break from alcohol. In stage one of the untapped performance project, we have that tactical break. And that is something that the client themselves decides how long that's for. I don't dictate that. um But what I do kind of mention is that Bear in mind that it takes around 66 days for ah for a new habit to be formed. So anything around you the eight-week mark is is a good barometer of of potential potential initial tactical break. So during that that time where my client would have the break from alcohol,
00:21:08
Speaker
We would also do lots of work on the background to reframe their mindset. So we look at things like breaking down the ambivalence that you have towards towards alcohol. what What is this love-hate relationship? Why is that? What are your triggers? Then we look at your your values. Oftentimes, the reason there's such a conflict is that people's values and behaviours aren't aligned. For me, two of my top values are health and authenticity. And when I was drinking alcohol, it made me feel unhealthy and inauthentic. And andent that's where that mental battle was coming from. So we look at that.
00:21:48
Speaker
We also then drill drill down into, we have have a session called FOMO versus JOMO, um which is the the fear of missing out versus the joy of missing out. So we we flip it on its head and rather than thinking I'm restricting and and having resentment, what are you gaining from the new habits?
00:22:08
Speaker
And that's why a lot of people do take a tactical break, end up, you know, going down these incredible fitness um transformations where they swap out the time that they would normally um have a drink or those mornings where they normally be hung over and they would take up running or they'd get to the gym. And so we instill new, healthier habits during that initial kind of eight week period.
00:22:31
Speaker
Seems to be very important when you when you, as you said earlier on, one of the big reasons why people drink alcohol is because it is part of the socialization process and can you can associate it with your friends, your drinking buddies. Whereas what you're saying, Jomo,
00:22:49
Speaker
is that there are alternatives which can provide an equally active social life just without the drug of
Natural Dopamine and Alcohol-Free Living
00:22:58
Speaker
alcohol. Yeah, exactly. And and and those those dopamine hits are are natural and longer lasting. They're not artificially stimulated. yeah Like what alcohol does so and don't have the downside as well when you've actually Coming off the alcohol if it's a natural high You don't have the downside as you do when you've used the digital give alcohol. Absolutely. Yep So what what we do is during that kind of initial period
00:23:26
Speaker
um we we do what I call it, and or we we would solve the alcohol puzzle, is what I like to call it. And that's different for everyone else. And and that will sometimes take a little bit longer for others than it does for for others. What we would then do at that point is go, OK, well, we've now solved that puzzle. let Let's park that.
00:23:47
Speaker
There's no likelihood that person is feeling, as I say, more energetic. Their mental sharpness is much better. um you know Their memory is better. They've got more clarity and brain fog.
00:24:00
Speaker
and they're sleeping better, all these wonderful things. And they start to think about, okay, what has old habits been holding me back from? Where has it been tripping me up? Where have I not progressed in my career or my you know fitness goals or my relationship goals that I actually want to now achieve? And what we do then is switch into pure performance coaching mode and those sessions are are some of the most fun where they're all client led and you know someone people come to me and say you know I want to hit a new PB on my bike um you know I want to bench press 150 kilograms whatever it is I want to get this promotion I want to be one of the clients I'm working with at the moment one of his goals is to be on the board of a FTSE 100 company
00:24:48
Speaker
OK, what does that look like? How do we get there? And we put a plan in place to make sure that can be a reality for them. So as I say, in two stages, stage one, we have the tactical break and we solve the alcohol puzzle.
Performance Coaching for Personal Goals
00:25:02
Speaker
And then stage two, we work on a performance coaching basis to achieve all the goals that they want to in life. Which I suppose in some ways is like I'm giving up the alcohol. I've realised it's not for me. I've seen the alternative. The alternative is much more attractive. Now, how do I maximise the benefits of the new lifestyle? Precisely. um You've stopped alcohol. You've made a very positive move in doing so. You've done it for reasons which then
00:25:31
Speaker
are great, but then it opens up all sorts of opportunities, which you then need support, help, ah guidance, whatever it is, in order to help you fulfill that potential, which was restricted prior to your giving up alcohol. Exactly that, Michael. cool Yeah. Yeah. And and two two of the most powerful things, and this is why I put this together, right? Because two of the most powerful things that I've been able to do for myself are taking that tactical break and having that being sustainable by reframing my mindset, and then working with someone in a coaching capacity to help me achieve everything that I now want to achieve. I've now got the clarity, I've got the drive, I've got the determination, um but I need support. everyone you know A lot of people think that they can they can do things on their own, but look at it this way.
00:26:27
Speaker
all the top athletes have coaches. They've all got the the potential, they've all got the the raw talent, but that raw talent is honed by coaches and they help those people get the best out of themselves.
00:26:42
Speaker
I'm not telling people what to do or how to do things. I'm simply asking the right questions and creating that space for them to figure it out for themselves and then hold them accountable to make sure that they can do it. So those those two things for me have been so important and that's why I want to help others have the ability to do the same.
00:27:04
Speaker
It's brilliant, and I really do appreciate is having the time with you today to to learn more about what you're doing. I really do appreciate it. It's been great. Thank you very much. Thanks, Michael. I am Michael Millward, Managing Director of Abecedah, and in this episode of Fit for My Age, I have been having a conversation with Paul McCormack, a coach who helps men solve the alcohol puzzle and perform at their best.
00:27:29
Speaker
You can find out more about Paul at at his LinkedIn profile or his website tacticalbreak dot.com, which hosts lots and lots of resources to help people get started on this journey. You will also find more information about both Paul and myself at abacida.co.uk. If you're listening to Fit For My Age on your smartphone,
00:27:50
Speaker
You may like to know that 3 has the UK's fastest 5G network with unlimited data. So listening on 3 means you can wave goodbye to buffering. There is a link in the description that will take you to more information about business and personal telecom solutions from 3 and the special offers available when you quote my referral code.
00:28:12
Speaker
At fit for my age, our aim is proactive positive aging. Knowing the risks early, it's an important part of maintaining good health. That is why we recommend the annual health test from York test.
00:28:25
Speaker
York tests provide an assessment of 39 different health markers, including cholesterol, diabetes, vitamins D and B12, liver function, iron deficiency, inflammation, and a full blood count. This is the sort of test which can also give you an indication, the sort of health implications of your current level of drinking as well.
00:28:49
Speaker
The annual health test is conducted by an experienced phlebotomist who will complete a full blood draw at your home or workplace. Hospital standard tests are carried out in a yeah UK AS accredited and CQC compliant laboratory. You can access your easy to understand results and guidance to help you make effective lifestyle changes anytime via your secure personal wellness hub.
00:29:15
Speaker
There is a link and a discount code in the description. The description, just like Paul's book, is well worth reading. If you have liked this episode of Fit For My Age, please give it a like and download it so that you can listen anytime, anywhere. To make sure you don't miss out on future episodes, please subscribe.
00:29:36
Speaker
Remember the aim of all the podcasts produced by Abecedah, it's not to tell you what to think, but we do hope to make you think. Until the next episode of Fit For My Age, thank you for listening and goodbye.