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5 Steps for Stress Management a converstion with Iris Mckee
17 Plays3 months ago
Iris McKee is a nurse who was fascinated by the way in which community psychiatric nurses dealt with the stresses of their work. So, she researched their stress management techniques as part of her master’s degree.
Now Iris has launched yourevalued.co.uk a company that aims to help employers demonstrate to their employees that they are valued.
In this episode, of Fit For My Age Iris explains to Michael Millward the YoureValued five step approach to managing stress and improving employee well-being.
Fit For My Age is made on Zencastr.
Zencastr is the all-in-one podcasting platform, on which you can create your podcast in one place and then distribute it to the major platforms like Spotify, Apple, and Google. It really does make creating content so easy.
If you would like to try podcasting using Zencastr visit zencastr.com/pricing and use our offer code ABECEDER.
Find out more about both Michael Millward and Iris McKee at Abeceder.co.uk
Visiting London
Iris studied in London. If you would like to visit London the best place to make your travel arrangements is The Ultimate Travel Club, because that is where you can access trade prices for flights, hotels and holidays. Use my offer code ABEC79 to receive a discount on your membership fee.
Matchmaker.fm
Thank you to the team at Matchmaker.fm the introduction to Iris.
If you are a podcaster looking for interesting guests or if like Iris, you have something very interesting to say Matchmaker.fm is where matches of great hosts and great guests are made. Use our offer code MILW10 for a discount on membership.
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Being a Guest
If you would like to be a guest on Fit For My Age, please contact using the link at Abeceder.co.uk.
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Transcript
Introduction and Zencastr Overview
00:00:05
Speaker
Made on Zencaster. Hello and welcome to Fit For My Age, the health and wellbeing podcast from Abecedah. I'm your host, Michael Millward, the managing director of Abecedah. As the jingle at the start of this podcast says, fit for my age is made on Zencaster. Zencaster is the all in one podcasting platform on which you can make your podcast in one place and then distribute it to all the major platforms like Spotify, Apple, Google, and Amazon. It really does make making content so easy.
00:00:46
Speaker
If you would like to try podcasting using Zencaster, visit zencaster dot.com forward slash pricing and use my offer code fit for my age. All the details are in the description.
Purpose of the Podcast and Guest Introduction
00:01:00
Speaker
Now that I have told you how wonderful Zenkaster is for making podcasts, we should make one. One that will be well worth listening to, liking, downloading and subscribing to. you Very importantly, on fit for my age, we don't tell you what to think, but we do hope to make you think.
Iris McKee's Career Journey
00:01:21
Speaker
Today, my guest who I met on matchmaker dot.fm is Iris McKee. Iris has spent over 19 years working in health and social care, including nine years as a qualified registered mental health nurse. Mental health nurses care for people with mental health issues. It is a very stressful job. Iris researched the challenges that community psychiatric nurses face and the strategies that they use to effectively manage their own mental health and avoid stress and burnout as part of her master's degree. Her findings are applicable to all professionals
00:02:03
Speaker
everyone who works really, as we are all human beings and prone to the effects and risks of stress and burnout. Iris completed her Masters in London, the capital of the United Kingdom. I regularly travel to London and know how expensive hotel rooms there can be. That is why I joined the Ultimate Travel Club, because that is where I get trade prices on flights and hotels et etc. You'll find a link and a membership discount code in the description. Now, hello, Iris. Hello, Michael. Great that you can join me today. I think this is a subject which a lot of people will be very interested in. So I really do appreciate you making time available to talk to me about it. Thank you very much.
00:02:48
Speaker
Oh, thank you. It's my pleasure to be here and and have this wonderful conversation. I'm looking forward to where the conversation will lead and how we can you know give in enough information or encouragement to your listeners. yeah Thank you. Like say at the beginning, we don't aim to tell people what to think, but we do like to make them think. And thank you very much for your confidence that this is going to be a wonderful conversation. I hope so as well. Please could we start by you telling us a little bit about your history and how you came to study mental health and and also the business that you have set up as well.
00:03:23
Speaker
It's been a long journey. I mean, as you were doing the intro, I was thinking, oh my goodness, 19 years and over. That's such a long time. But when you enjoy what you're doing, you don't realize how time is going. So I started out as a healthcare assistant in a care home, caring for the elderly. yeah And I really enjoyed the value if I like adding to their lives by the conversation we would have because some of them were struggling with, you know, isolation and depression. but then the conversations I would have with them going home, I'm like, oh, this is really great. And I love the fact that I'm making a change or adding someone else's life. And that it was so encouraging for me, or I felt like ah I was finding my true purpose. So therefore I went further to look for jobs in mental health setting. And I got a job where I worked as ah a discharge coordinator, like helping
00:04:19
Speaker
patients on their psychiatric units who were ready for discharge to move to accommodations that perhaps they didn't have before they went into hospital. Because um if they were discharged and didn't have accommodation to go back to the chances of them relapsing and going back into hospital would be higher. So then I would liaise with the council and find them homes to be discharged into. And whilst doing that job, I just was fascinated by what the nurses and doctors were doing. And I already had a degree in psychology and economics, but I wasn't really using it. So I thought if I retrain, went back to uni and do mental health nursing, perhaps this is something that I can do more with, you know, have a profession where I can be of more help to
00:05:10
Speaker
patients or clients. I mean, after the three years of education, working as a mental health nurse, it was brilliant, but I was always hungry to achieve more. I was very curious. I'm naturally a curious person. So I like to achieve more and learn more and help people problem solve. So whilst I was in my nursing job, I thought I want to go back to uni and do a master's degree in mental health, learn a bit more about mental health, you know, that the challenges that people really encounter and how I can support them to problem solve or get better or live well. And so I went back and I studied psychology and neuroscience of mental health, which was amazing as well. And it was during that and MSC that I looked into this community psychiatric nurses experience of stress and burnout and how it impacts their mental wellbeing and also retention and recruitment.
00:06:09
Speaker
The way in which you list your career makes it sound like you had a degree, then you went and retrained, and then you went and did a master's. And I think it's worth pointing out as well, because you're very modest, that you actually did climb the ladder of nursing as well. And alongside all of this studying, and research, you also rose to the top of the nursing profession as a matron, as well as all of this. You're not someone who was just studying this, you were living and working in the environment
Understanding Stress vs. Burnout
00:06:40
Speaker
as well. oh Thank you for your kind words, Michael. um You know, as I said in the beginning, when you're passionate about something you're doing, you're not even thinking about all the accolades or the extent or the way I'm climbing up
00:06:54
Speaker
up in my career, I was just fascinated to do more and to help more people so that there was that desire to want to better myself all the time, you know, because when i' when I'm in a stronger position, then I can help at this. That is true. but Just what you've said there, when you are enjoying what you're doing, yeah you don't realise how time flies. no You don't realise the pressures that you under because it becomes everyday life. yeah And that leads us nicely into the research that you did into stress and burnout because I suspect
00:07:31
Speaker
that a lot of people who get to the point where they're experiencing stress and burnout don't actually realize that that's what's happening. But the two really very interesting phrases, stress and burnout, what is the difference between the two? So stress is um more of a natural response um to something that's a or challenging experience that we are going through or a demanding situation. So it could be in your personal life or at work. Burnout is more of a chronic state of mind, if you like, where you're experiencing more chronic physical, emotional, or mental exhaustion, um which can which is um a prolonged version of stress.
00:08:18
Speaker
Stress, when we use the word in 2024, is very often has a negative connotation, but actually stress is a natural reaction, almost like the fight or flight type of reaction. You're in a situation, it's stressful because the pressure is on, there is a time restraint, you've got to do it to a specific standard. Yes. So it's not always a bad thing. is actually good for us. And if you don't have stress, that is bad. You need to have some sort of stress levels, you know? Yeah. yeah So its stress is not necessarily a bad thing, but what you if we don't learn how to manage stress and have our own coping strategies for it, which could be separate to every individual,
00:09:04
Speaker
yeah or unique to every individual. Then we run the risk of getting to the point of burnout, which is where we've no longer got the ability to manage stress. Yes. We've lost the control. Yes. yes Oh, yeah. i Couldn't have put it better, Michael. You've done a fabulous job. i would i was I was listening and obviously before we did this recording, I also thought we had a previous conversation where we were planning it and I listened in that and I also read some of the things on your website which your website is called you'revalued as in y-o-u-r-e valued dot co dot u-k and before anybody wants to sort raise the stress levels about the punctuation you can't use an apostrophe in a web address
00:09:50
Speaker
honey It isn't possible to use an apostrophe. So it's yourvalued.co.uk. And there's lots and lots of information on there. So that's why I'm able to put it that long. Thank you very much. That's amazing. You did your homework well. Edward, doing the homework for something like this reduces the stress of actually being a host in this sort of thing. Very controlled. You're able to control the situation or Um, should I say how, how this podcast will go and and we can bounce off each other really well, which is what you've done. So that's amazing. Thank you very much for the positive feedback. I think there's very much, there's a lot of truth in that sale saying that if you fail to prepare, then you prepare to fail. And the what you do is so very, very interesting. And I think that every one of us is one of those skills that.
00:10:46
Speaker
we shouldn't wait until we're in that situation of needing to manage stress and feeling overpowered by the stress that we are experiencing. We need to know about that when we when everything is sunshine and happiness type of thing and and plan ahead for that day when it just gets too much and understand what that is going to feel like and how we're going to deal with it. yeah yeah One of the things that is very interesting about your website and your research is this idea that we don't necessarily need to think about how we manage work and life. We don't need to see them as separate things. They're all part of one of, well, we're the same person at work as we are at home. Your view is that we don't change our personality in those situations, yeah but we do change our behaviors. Yes. Yes. And I really stand by that because if I'm a naturally bubbly person at home, I'm expecting to have that sort of welcoming and warm personality when I go into work, you know, but then at home, my behavior might be different when I get excited because I'm in my own home environment where I'm very comfortable with the people around me. Whereas at work, I've got to be mindful of the people there. So not to overstep boundaries. So then my behavior might be a little bit sort of.
00:12:17
Speaker
pushing or holding back um some sort of feeling free you know and and um respecting people more. I'm not saying at home I wouldn't respect, but there's that freedom of just feeling free at home and at work, even though you're free, you just have to be also mindful of yes your colleagues and how you don't have a step boundaries. But it doesn't mean my personality as a person being bubbly has changed because I'm still going there with my authentic self of being true and kind and honest and compassionate, you know, but then at home, I can feel more at ease with my close friends and family. Yeah. Yeah. So what you're saying is that your personality is driven by your values, which then exhibit, you exhibit your values through your behavior, which if that's to be friendly, to be kind, to be honest, to be supportive of other people,
00:13:16
Speaker
that That would be a different type of behavior at home than it is at work because you're dealing with different people, you're in a different setting, there is a different hierarchy involved, and you're adapting your behavior to meet the people to meet the people that you work with and you serve, you support as patients, which in other environments we could call clients or customers. yeah You adapt your behavior to make sure that you fulfill the responsibilities of the role that you have. Yes. Because the job title that we have, even though we hate them and all this sort of stuff, but actually job titles that we have raise an expectation amongst the people that we're dealing with of how we will behave. yeah And yet it doesn't change our personality. No. It just means that we adapt our behaviors to meet the situation that we are in. Yes. If you try and change your personality,
00:14:12
Speaker
listening to what you're saying, that is going to be a trigger for stress, yes isn't it? Yes. So for example, as you were talking, I was just thinking of a nice example to use. At home, if I'm excited about something, I'll go around hugging my friends and family, you know, because we'll hug and kiss each other on the cheek or, yeah you know, just to feel free. But that's not a sort of behavior I can take to work, because I've got to let boundaries or put boundaries in place. So you can go around hugging your patients or um your colleagues that you are not on that sort of level with, you know, but then it doesn't stop you from being compassionate and and showing that warmth that you care and you're here to listen to them and support them. You know, yeah yes. If you're with a family member, you give them a hug. yes If you're with a colleague, you give them a pat on the back. Yes. The behavior has to change. Whereas the
00:15:09
Speaker
the personality remains the same because you're still a warm person, you know someone who is caring and has empathy and all those sort of values. yeah yeah So were we've got to learn if we're going to manage our stress levels more efficiently, more effectively, and avoid burnout. We have to learn how to manage our behaviours within an environment. And I suppose part of that is if you go into an environment and you behave in a way which people don't associate with your role in that environment,
00:15:40
Speaker
They're going to be suspicious of you, for want of a better word, yes which will impact your relationship with them, which then could add to your stress levels. We're all social human beings, aren't we? We're a social animal. A key part of managing our mental health, so it's good mental health. is making sure that we're in an environment where we can feel comfortable and being comfortable in an environment means that the environment needs to be comfortable with us as well. Yes. The other people that we are interacting with need to be comfortable with the way in which we are behaving
00:16:19
Speaker
the things that we're saying, the way in which we respond to them has to be almost like what they expect.
Stress Management Strategies
00:16:25
Speaker
We can't push our boundaries too quickly. No. And I think the word for that is just respecting people, you know, yeah and not, yeah, invading their privacy or overstepping boundaries. So just respecting people and and having that sort of open and honest environment where the engagement is is great, but then it has to be in a very nurturing environment where I'm able to put my message across or the service I'm providing to the client across without any sort of hindrances or any sort of behaviors that will
00:17:01
Speaker
impact that professional or respectful relationship, if you like. Yes, very much. I do like. Thank you very much. I do. This is a very complicated subject if you want to make it complicated, but it can also be very straightforward as well. And one of the ways in which you've used your research into your masters was then to create five steps that people can follow in order to learn how to manage their stress, better avoid burnout. um So what are those five steps that you've developed? Through all the literature reviews I did and also as I said initially I am a very curious person.
00:17:42
Speaker
So a lot of observations at work and interacting with people and listening. And from my own personal experience of burnouts um in in my job, I came up with this or five steps to help people because it did help me. So one of the things I value is when you have someone who you can trust and they say good or kind words or can motivate you. So in in my five step, I have motivational speaking as one of them. So providing a service where you can use words to encourage because words are powerful. If you use unkind words, you can get an environment full of employees who are not motivated to give their all because it's such an unkind environment. Therefore, why give my all if I'm not valued?
00:18:36
Speaker
That's true. People will forget who the cleverest person was in the class. People will forget who the richest person in the class was. But everyone will always remember who was the kindest. Yes, yes. And that's one of the core of ah the core principles of your valued, um the company I formed. Because I don't think we are human enough if we forget about being kind or compassionate to each other. you know And I feel like in our day, our world today, with all the busy stuff that we are doing, sometimes we lose our humanness. yes We say it in person, oh, I am compassionate, or you say a kind word to somebody, but also show it in action. But I feel like the more words we say, you can't help but start acting it, feeling it in your being, and start acting that way.
00:19:26
Speaker
as well, not just saying the kind words, but also following with action. Yes. Our actions or our behaviours are what we should do, which I hate using the word should when referring to other people. But it seems to me that there is no point in us telling people in words that we are kind and compassionate. They need to be telling us that we're kind and compassionate because of the way in which we have treated them. Yes. And it it brings me to what um Maya Angelou once said, you know people just as you were saying about in school, people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget wo you how you made them feel. yes you know So as much as the motivational speaking is good, like the words that you're saying to encourage and enable people, empower people, is the feeling that comes with it as well.
Role of Physical Activity and Coaching
00:20:20
Speaker
So in in your value, the retreats we offer, the boldness coaching service we offer, is putting that person at the center of it all and making them feel valued. yes So that when I say those motivational words, those positive words, it makes sense because it tallies or it agrees with the action that ah comes with it, the behavior that I'm exhibiting to the client plus the words I'm using. Yep. Okay. So the first thing is motivational speaking. What's the next one? I like to mention a bit about physical activities as well. Just enjoying creation, enjoying nature and being physically active. So going for walks, swimming, going in for a run if you like, use the gym if you like. It's like any type of exercise. If you have a bad day,
00:21:10
Speaker
and go home and sit in front of the television, the day will get worse. yes If you get home or if you walk home or if you're walking home, you carry on walking for a bit, the further you walk, the better you will be. It's like exercise of any form will make the worst day better. yeah exercise it I always talk about exercise releasing those happy beans in your head, which is that all of those, you know you scientists people talk about endorphins and all sorts of things. I talk about happy beings in your head. It works. I like your way of saying it. Thank you very much. I haven't got a master's in it though. But what's the third active, the third thing and in the of the five? So coaching, coaching people, no matter how resilient we are, how knowledgeable we are, how able we are,
00:22:01
Speaker
there are times that will feel like we need someone to carry us. So having a coach alongside who is guiding you, not advising and telling you what to do, but helping you look at things from different perspectives and looking at where your strengths will lie. So doing that exploration about your identity with you and finding your own strengths and skills that when life is throwing challenges at you, you can implement these skills to overcome those challenges.
Continuous Learning and Mindfulness
00:22:29
Speaker
We all need a friend, a relative, a friend who we know is going to tell us the truth and is going to help us make the right sort of decision without telling us what we should do. yeah I think that yeah an awful lot of people
00:22:46
Speaker
don't have somebody that they can turn to in a crisis who is going to help them sort it out without actually doing it. Well, I was going to say doing it for them, but actually I think when you do something for someone, you're really doing it to them and that friend relative who is the coach will help you work out why you're in that situation, help you work out how to get out of that situation and to prevent it from happening again. Otherwise, you just worry about every situation. What about number four? so Number four is teaching new skills. So what I found in my own experience and observing other people is when we know something so well through and throughout, we become complacent at times. yes We become quite bored as well. There's no excitement. But say you don't know how to use a parachute and then you learn that skill. yes It's not a skill I really want to learn.
00:23:43
Speaker
I remember going on an adventure holiday and given this whole list of activities that I could do. And the one thing I refused to put the cross in was the parachuting. I'm not doing that. That's an extreme example of them. But you know what I mean? Like the excitement of learning something new that perhaps is one is on your bucket list or one of the things you want to do in life. And then you've got that opportunity to limit it and and be able to do it, the excitement you get from that. So in in my retreats, I also teach new skills, depending on what the client wants to learn, what's on their list, what are the new things they've always dreamed of learning, but haven't found the time. So I'm creating space and time for you in this retreat for you to achieve those skills. I meet so many people who, when you say, so what do you do in your spare time? And it's like spare time, what spare time am I working?
00:24:34
Speaker
I'm being the taxi for my children and I'm being supportive of my teenagers. um but this is stuff There's always somebody else who wants my time and I feel guilty if I don't give them that time. yeah And actually learning something new is a great way of reclaiming yeah some of that time for yourself. It's great. And what about number five? It's mindfulness. So if you've noticed, all of the four might be activities that might involve other people. So number five is, again, it can involve other people, but I like to do this in isolation because I choose it. And then there's me recharging my batteries, you know? So it's mindfulness or meditation, whichever the person chooses. I choose meditation and it's just focusing my thoughts on affirmations or scripture, and then using that to energize myself, get recharged.
00:25:28
Speaker
Because with the others, you might involve other people to give your energy to because you're connecting with other people. As you said, we are social beings. So connection or human contact is great for us. But then there are times we need to also isolate ourselves and recharge and then have that space to think clearer and then come back and we are in a much more better position to empower and help other people.
Conclusion and Additional Resources
00:25:54
Speaker
That's great. And if people want to find out more about the work that you do, what is the website address that they can contact you at? So it's that you'revalued.co.uk. You're valued, as in Y-O-U-R-E.
00:26:09
Speaker
valued.co.uk. Yeah. You know? Yes. Iris, that has been great fun for me and also very, very interesting and very grateful for your time today. Thank you very much. Thank you, Michael. I am Michael Millward, the managing director of Abecedah. And in this episode of Fit for My Age, I have been having a conversation with Iris McKee. You can find out more about both of us at abecedah.co.uk. And as Iris says at her website, yourvalued.co.uk. There are links in the description.
00:26:46
Speaker
I must remember to thank the team at matchmaker.fm for introducing me to Iris. If you are a podcaster looking for interesting guests, or if like Iris, you have something very interesting to say, matchmaker is where matches of great hosts and even greater guests are made. There is a link to matchmaker.fm and an offer code in the description. Somehow I'm thinking that description is going to be well worth reading. If you have liked this episode of Fit for My Age, please give it a like and download it so that you can listen anytime, anywhere. To make sure you don't miss out on future episodes, please subscribe. Remember, the aim of all the podcasts produced by Abisida is not to tell you what to think, but we do hope to make you think. All that it remains for me to say is until the next episode of Fit for My Age, thank you for listening and goodbye.