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EP 12: Birth Stories
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This week the moms share their birth stories. They hit the highs and lows of the day (or days!) they had their babies. They also cover how they prepared for birth, and what they did and didn’t use in their hospital bags.
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Questions/comments/need to vent? Email us at momgroupchat@gmail.com
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Transcript
Sweaty Experiences and Birth Stories
00:00:07
Speaker
There's no right way to do it. Oh, we're gonna get into it. Hello. Hello, my sweaty moms. I'm Shannon. I'm here with my two best friends, Candice Whitney, and this is the mom group chat podcast.
00:00:23
Speaker
What up, sweaty girls? Don't make me laugh like that off the bat. Okay. I said sweaty because we know Candice has been a sweaty girl for the past 48 hours with some AC issues, but also today's topic, we were all sweaty girls.
00:00:42
Speaker
when we were in labor, because today we're going to talk about our birth stories. Wait, wait, wait. Before we get started on that, can I ask, like, this is a fun game that Chris and I like to play. And actually, this just happened with my neighbor recently. And it made me think, I want to ask Shannon and Candace this. It's also like a kind of get to know you in a way situation.
00:01:05
Speaker
So let's go back in time, let's say colonial times and say we were born in the 1700s, okay? What has happened to you already in your life that you would have died from because you couldn't have had that medical procedure or like something bad's happened to you, like what age would you have died?
00:01:26
Speaker
Oh, this is a fun question. I know it's so funny. The only reason that made me think of this is my neighbor had surgery and his wife was like, Yeah, this is his first surgery. And
00:01:40
Speaker
Chris and I were like, oh, he would have lived till he was 40. That's amazing. Like, good for him. And she was like, what? And we're like, oh, we play this game. That we're colonial. But I had pulmonary embolisms when I was 25. And that's crazy. Yeah, in my lungs. So I have blood clots in my lungs. And I was like,
Anxiety and School Memories
00:02:02
Speaker
I would have been a goner. Like, great 25 years on this earth. But bye. OK, so Whitney died.
00:02:10
Speaker
Whitney's dead at 25. Chris died before our wedding. He got his appendix taken out. So he was gone. Chris and I were gone. Gone gone. It is crazy. People died constantly back then. That's why you had to have 12 kids. At least two or three of them came out unscrewed. I have been so lucky in my life, knock on wood. I think I might still be alive. I've not died.
00:02:39
Speaker
Uh, the only thing I can think of is I might not have even been born because I was breach. So my mom had to have a C-section. So I don't, I think you can technically deliver breach babies, but I know back in the day that was a big issue. So maybe I just would have never been born. Or, well, I don't even want to say like your mom would have.
00:03:07
Speaker
diet as well. That's not funny, but I'm sorry. I mean, who's to say our mom survived? I mean, we could bring this back generations. Yeah, I would say that's mine. Yeah, this is a morbid topic. Sorry, but it's kind of funny.
00:03:24
Speaker
No, I think it's funny. Okay. I don't know what mine would be other than I have really bad vision. I am like legally blind. I've had lots of eye issues. And so part of me is like, I would have been taken out by a mountain lion because I couldn't see it coming towards me. I literally can't see without my contacts or glasses. Like I cannot see my hand in front of my face. So.
00:03:53
Speaker
I am like, I would be dead because I can't survive without vision help. You've also transferred to West Virginia, the mountains. It's not a shark like it would be in Florida. She's a mountain lion. I'm trying to think if there's anything else. I feel like also growing up though.
00:04:17
Speaker
So we were saying with the neighbor, sorry, that the neighbor, the only reason, like, you know, his arm was hurt. So we're like, well, him on the farm, he wouldn't have been able to plow his vegetables. So he would have just been famished, you know? So it was like funny creating
Introduction to Birth Stories
00:04:32
Speaker
a story behind it. Yeah. Like you break a toe and you're just like, oh, you're done. You're literally done. Candace, I love you, but I feel like
00:04:44
Speaker
Your immune system is not strong. That's what I was going to say. You may have guided just classic influenza.
00:04:53
Speaker
for sure. When growing up, I was sick all the time. I had, I guess I, I don't know, not so much anymore. However, I mean, Shannon, I think I've mentioned this to you, especially in high school. I think part of me being sick all the time was definitely like anxiety induced. Like I had anxiety about going to school.
00:05:15
Speaker
and it manifested itself into sicknesses that I would need to stay home for. And my parents were just a bunch of suckers who were just like, fine, stay home. That's so funny. You're like the most confident person I know and you were anxious about school. I didn't know that.
00:05:35
Speaker
Yeah, it's funny. I never, ever, ever acknowledge that until I started to work for that psychology firm for like a very, very short amount of time. And I would listen in on all of these parents talking to the psychologists about their kids and how their anxiety manifests. And like these doctors literally giving anxiety, whatchamacallit, like diagnosis,
00:05:58
Speaker
sees diagnoses to kids who have like very bad anxiety and it would like manifest in them like constantly being sick and missing school. And it actually wasn't that they were sick, it was that they were anxious. And I was like, I had a light bulb moment. I was like, Oh, fuck. I yeah, I remember you saying that you're like, I
00:06:19
Speaker
have some thoughts. Yeah, I have a lot of us. I had anxiety about school because I wasn't very good at school. You were popular. You were like well-loved. You crushed school. I think our school was like really rigorous. Like it was the hardest time of my life with high school. There was so much work to be done. High school was way harder than college. Yeah.
00:06:48
Speaker
Yeah. You're really bringing to the light that I had anxiety freshman year and I just realized it. I used to pop gassix like it was crazy before school because I was so scared. I would get a rumbly tumbly during class or something. My friend Morgan, if you're listening, she's probably dying laughing because she knows I did this. I just had anxiety that I'd poop at school.
00:07:15
Speaker
I don't, that's not a big deal. I don't know why I cared about that. You should have gone to all girls school with candidates. I was going to say at all girls school, it's like a free for all. People would be like, just shitting all the time. I don't know. A lot of the boys were mean. So I probably was like scared. I literally can't imagine going to high school with boys. Like
00:07:35
Speaker
Yeah, like that is so foreign. My school was smaller so like we were mixed in with sophomores and juniors like so it was like a lot of older people in the classes like it just made me nervous I don't know.
00:07:49
Speaker
Oh, I would definitely be nervous if, if I was a junior or if I was a freshman or sophomore and there was an upperclassman boy in my class, like good night. Good night. That's when I would have died from embarrassment. Oh my gosh. Well.
00:08:12
Speaker
We all made it out of high school alive. We found our ways to our husbands and we all got pregnant and had babies. So I think today is one of my favorite topics. I love birth stories. Whenever my friends have babies, I'm like, whenever you're ready, like call me and do not leave out a single detail. Like I want to know.
00:08:31
Speaker
from soup to nuts, what happened. And I know that this topic can have, you know, people can have a wide range of experiences when they give birth. So like, I don't think we have any trigger warnings, but just like, for some women, this is a really touchy subject. So I'll just say that that's what we're going to be talking about. And I think we're all just like so grateful that we made it through our deliveries. And we had like
00:08:59
Speaker
great medical teams and support systems and healthy babies, most importantly. But in my opinion, it truly is like as close to a miracle and magic you can get to in this like earthly existence. So I love these stories and I'm excited to dig into them today.
Whitney's Birth Story
00:09:20
Speaker
so eloquently put Shannon. I know Shannon has such an amazing like you have such an amazing outlook on birth and how and really know how to like
00:09:33
Speaker
It's like someone who loves Christmas who like makes other people believe in the magic of Christmas. Like Shannon is like the birth elf. She's like, it's so magical. And like, she sent me the most beautiful email the day that I was getting induced. And truly like I was sobbing reading it and truly made me so excited to give birth. And I knew it was going to be magical and amazing. And I feel like everyone should get that letter.
00:10:03
Speaker
before they give birth, it will change our whole outlook on it. So we're gonna start an email. Love that you guys are saying that like, I really appreciate that. Yeah, we could we could post portions of it or I was gonna reference it today during our chat. But since you brought it up, like
00:10:23
Speaker
One of the things when I go into mine and something I try and share with women as I feel like we hear a lot of the bad stuff about birth because I mean, it is intense and there are complications that come up. And we tend to hear about like the bad scary parts, but I feel like the majority of births go well. And at the end of it,
00:10:52
Speaker
you do have a baby. So I feel like there's a lot of hype around the anxiety and you know, how hard it is. And just like it, it's painted to be a kind of a scary experience.
00:11:05
Speaker
But I found it to be, yes, I had anxiety and I was a little bit scared, but for round two, I'm so excited. I loved giving birth. I thought it was crazy. I thought it was amazing. And I try and hype women up and be like, yeah, it's buck wild, but it's awesome. It is so cool.
00:11:29
Speaker
I know I feel like Candace calmed me down before I even gave birth. She was like, everyone always says it's like, you know, the short period of time in your life. And then you get blessed with like your baby for the rest of the time. So just always remember like, it's just a short period of time and it's painful and it is what it is, but it's so true. And you kind of forget what it feels like. And that's why you do another baby.
00:11:53
Speaker
I remember going into birth, I think I probably mentioned this to you guys, I was excited because I've said this and people have been like, you're crazy, but I was excited to feel a contraction. You hear about these contractions your whole life, you hear about birth things, and I was just so excited to now understand
00:12:15
Speaker
what that felt like, what it, like, I just wanted to be in the experience. And, oh, I felt him. I felt him. I'm excited for us to share because like, Whitney was the first of three of us and I know Candice was like texting with Chris and I was texting with Candice. So like, there's like background chats happening for each of our births.
00:12:40
Speaker
And I remember Candace like texting us just being like, this is great. Like, we're watching football, blah, blah, blah. And I'm just like, oh, oh, yeah, it's it's coming. It's coming. But yeah, and also, like, we all had births at hospitals like with modern medicine. So I as much as I am here for like the sanctity and like the
00:13:10
Speaker
holistic experience of birth, I want that epidural. I don't actually want to feel the whole thing. I feel like at some point we'll have some moms on that talk about water birth or different types of birth that obviously we didn't experience. I'd love to hear about that, honestly, to
00:13:32
Speaker
Like I don't think it's my journey, but I would love to have in case there are other moms listening that are curious about that journey. I'd love to provide you guys with firsthand experience and some information on that. So that's definitely down the line in an episode at some point, but obviously today's episode is more
Shannon's Birth Experience
00:13:52
Speaker
just about our personal experience. Yeah. I'm excited to relive. I'm excited to hear y'all's stories. I'm going to try.
00:13:59
Speaker
Me too. I'm going to try and not be too long-winded because I think it would be fun also at the end to talk a little bit about like the preparation and the bags that we packed and then like what we actually ended up using, what's available at the hospital, those type things as well. Should we go Whitney? Do you want to go first because you were first? Yeah, I can. And I don't want to be super long-winded, but I made notes of little touch points that stood out to me during birth.
00:14:29
Speaker
so I could remember. And I also don't want to get anything medically wrong that I'm saying. And everyone be like, she's a dumbass. So I had to ask Chris, I'm like, how do I pronounce this? What do I say? Oh, shit. I don't have a Chris. So mine is probably medically incorrect. Well, I can try and help if I know. But so.
00:14:51
Speaker
I was induced a week early just because I am on Lovenox, which is just background story. I have a blood clotting disorder. That's why I had PEs. That was my intro. And so I have to take shots every day. So I got induced a week early. And so I checked in on a Wednesday night and I did not have Graydon until Friday night. So I had
00:15:15
Speaker
two long days of sitting and I don't even know, it was an odd experience. The Pitocin didn't work on me, nothing was working. My favorite part of being at the hospital was getting the catheter, which I know sounds weird, but it was the first time I felt relief in so long and not to brag, but my nurse
00:15:42
Speaker
made me feel so validated because she said I filled up my pee bag more than any patient she's ever had in her life. So I was like, oh my gosh. Congratulations. I was like, do I get that tattooed on my body that I hold a lot of pee because it just validated me being so uncomfortable. But when we got there,
00:16:05
Speaker
Like right off the bat things were kind of going wrong. Like I got the IV and I bled out so that I had to get up and change the sheets and like things were just moving so slow. What do you mean? Like you were bleeding?
00:16:20
Speaker
outside of your of the IV. Yeah, like blood all over my bed and to the point where I had to get up, but things were going really slowly. It took like forever just to even like be even more dilated. It was like I finally got to the four centimeter part maybe Thursday and they inserted a Foley bulb to expand and I bled out again. They like nicked my uterus or something. And so they were like,
00:16:50
Speaker
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what's going on, what's going on? And they were like, if she doesn't stop bleeding, we're gonna have to go back for a C-section. And I was like, motherfuck, like what is happening? But I stopped bleeding, had to get up again. My sheets had to be changed, you know? There was just like funny moments in all of this, me just waiting. Like I remember the heart monitor on your stomach, you know? And Chris spinning on the chair and like beat boxing to the beat of like the sounds and all that kind of stuff.
00:17:20
Speaker
But I finally got the epidural Thursday night. I never felt a contraction this whole time. I didn't feel it at all. I don't know what a contraction feels like, to be honest, which Chris is in anesthesia. He was a great advocate for me. He worked at Vanderbilt, which is where I delivered.
00:17:41
Speaker
He had his friend do my epidural, someone that he trusted, and then his friend Dustin, our friend Dustin hooked me up with some good drugs and it was like the first good night's sleep I had in months.
00:17:56
Speaker
So I was like, thank you, Dustin. Friday morning is when things started moving along. I had an awesome nurse. I remember her name, Chelsea. She was almost like a doula. She had the peanut ball and I was in all kinds of positions with that thing. I was doing acrobats with it. I was like on all fours and she would leave me for 30 minutes in that position. Like I was just moving and grooving. And literally like it shift changed. She was gone and I started, it was like my back ripped open. I was like,
00:18:27
Speaker
That's when I finally felt labor is when the shift change happened and I was like Chelsea don't leave me like I need you. Keep in mind I had rotated through five different doctors at this time like Vanderbilt is a teaching hospital.
00:18:44
Speaker
I was just like, I don't even care who's gonna have my child at this point because I've gone through five different people, blah, blah, blah. I pushed for an hour and 40 minutes and he finally popped out.
00:19:01
Speaker
I can't believe no contractions were felt. So were they just like updating you on how far along you were? Like, how did you know where you were at? The doctors would come in and tell me how many centimeters I was. Like you could see the contractions on the screen, but I didn't feel a single one until he started moving down. Right. Which was like at seven ish. Right. I didn't have him until like nine thirty. So I was like,
00:19:28
Speaker
Oh, my God. My mom, my mom was there with Chris and she said she had never heard me cuss like that in my life. And she was embarrassed that I was cussing that much in front of many people. Oh, my God. Becky, we're pushing out a baby. OK. Ever a time. It's this. And of course, all I cared about was pooping on the table. And I was like, Chris. Oh, yeah. You were so worried about that. I was like, Chris, did I poop? And then.
00:19:56
Speaker
I definitely did because it smelled like I was in a barnyard and I was like, am I a farm animal? I just wanted to like collapse and hide, but he
Candice's Induction and Labor
00:20:08
Speaker
finally came. So he was born on October 1st, 9.32 PM and all is well.
00:20:19
Speaker
I was there for a while. I was going to say I do remember yours taking, I mean, maybe it's just there was so much anticipation because you were like the first to come, but, or the first one to give birth. But I remember the anticipation being like so crazy. And I remember it feeling like it was taking forever. Like I would wake up the next day and I'm still no baby. And I'd be like, what the hell?
00:20:46
Speaker
Yes. That's like always blew my mind too. Like what you were saying, Candice, about wanting to feel contractions. Like in my mind, I didn't understand how people could be in the hospital for days waiting for their baby. And that was definitely the case with you, Whit. I was like, what are they doing?
00:21:03
Speaker
Yeah, I didn't feel a thing like if I had been feeling contractions that whole time like I don't know but I've still to this day I'm not sure if I mean maybe y'all know like giving birth is the same thing as feeling a contraction but I felt it all in my back it it just you probably ripped open yeah the back part like
00:21:27
Speaker
Probably what I mean, it definitely was a type of contraction because like I remember towards the end of mine, like I had really bad back labor or whatever they call it. Oh, yeah. Anyway, it was all good. Now we're he's going to be two coming up and I'm having Margo at the end of. Well, I'll be induced a week early as well. So I'll be a dude at the end of August. So round two.
00:21:57
Speaker
That's exactly two years. Wait. Yeah. It'll be 23 ish months apart. So what was the feeling like after he was delivered? Were you like so relieved after all that time? I remember. No, I remember thinking it's, I looked at Chris. I'm like, I'm still hurting what's happening. And I hadn't pushed out my placenta yet.
00:22:18
Speaker
And like they handed him to me and I'm like, no, no, I'm in pain still. No, no, no, no, no. What's happening? And finally, once that all happened, I had to be sewn up because Graydon was a tad. He's not huge, but he was over eight pounds. So I tore a little. So that was happening. And I was like, I can feel everything. I don't know if my.
00:22:41
Speaker
epidural wore off or what happened. But I was just like, I'm feeling this happening right now. But at that point, I was so over it. I was so tired. But so happy and excited. Like, I love my mom being there took pictures of me and Chris like seeing Graydon for the first time. So I was like, so thankful to have her document all that. And it was a sweet moment. Cute. Love that.
00:23:11
Speaker
All right, Shannon. Okay. Oh yeah, I was next. So three months later, TJ was also a month or sorry, no, a week early, but he came on his own. So I was able to like have the experience of feeling the contractions at home and all of that. So.
00:23:34
Speaker
My last day of work was Friday, I think it was a Friday, December 30th. And he was due January 5th. So I closed up my laptop. I was like, all right, got a week. I remember I was like hardcore nesting mode. Like that day I had cleaned so much shit out of my closet. I was just like on a cleaning rampage that week I remembered. And then the next day,
00:23:58
Speaker
was New Year's Eve. We had no plans because I was so rotund and so pregnant. Like, what was I going to do? I woke up in the morning and I remember feeling crampy, like right away, like 8 a.m. And I was like, heads up, feeling a little crampy. Not sure what that means. Could be Braxton Hicks, which like, I'm still not sure if I ever had Braxton Hicks contractions, but you just don't know what's going on. Like, whatever, I fell a little crampy.
00:24:24
Speaker
Andrew had a tea time at noon and he was like, should I keep the tea time? And I was like, yeah, don't cancel it. Who knows? So then...
00:24:35
Speaker
Around probably like 10 or 11 a.m., I was like, I'm pretty sure this is what it is. I remember my sister calling me because my family was all going to Fort Lauderdale where my extended family lives for New Year's Eve. And my sister calling me and I was like crying. I was like, I think I'm in labor. I think it's happening. I'm scared. And she was like, oh, my God, I'm crying. And then I was like, don't tell mom and dad, I don't want them to freak out.
00:25:04
Speaker
And then they called me immediately and they were like, how are you? And I was just still crying. I was like, I think it's happening. My fear was that, and maybe your doctors had this discussion with you before you decided to be induced, but they were like, basically, if you come too early in your labor, we're going to send you home.
00:25:26
Speaker
And I was terrified of going to the hospital and then being sent home and then like waiting and waiting and waiting. So I was like,
Reflecting on Birth and Postpartum
00:25:33
Speaker
I'm not going to go until I'm sure that I'm in labor. The other thing is I had a doula. So that was amazing because I had, her name was Ashley loved her so much. She was like texting me throughout the morning and I was like, I think it's happening. She's like, does it feel like this?
00:25:50
Speaker
So I had somebody to bounce these ideas off of. That's amazing. Yeah. And she was going to be in us at the hospital when we got there. So you're laboring, you're laboring, you're counting the minutes in between. I downloaded this app that helps you count. I think it's like every four minutes, if they're a minute, then that's when you're supposed to go to the hospital. If you're having contractions every four minutes, that lasts a minute.
00:26:18
Speaker
that could be medically incorrect. That's what I remember. We'll do a fact check at the end. Around two, I called Ashley the doula and I was like, hey girl, I think I'm in labor. And she was like, you are panting. And I was like, oh yeah, I'm starting to feel it a little bit. And she was like, just go to the hospital. And I was like, I don't want to be sent home. And she was like,
00:26:46
Speaker
go, like you can't breathe. And I was like, okay. It was to the point where like I was having to like breathe through the contractions, but they weren't like horrible yet. So I ate a sandwich and took a shower. So naturally I stalled. She was like, eat something, take a shower. That's what she said earlier in the day. And I was like, once I was like, okay, I think we're going to go. I'm going to have something to eat.
00:27:16
Speaker
and then take a shower and then we're gonna go. So that's what we did. And by the time we got in the car, I was like, let's fucking go. I even came. And we took a picture, we like took a selfie that looks so calm in the car, but it was like a movie where I was like banging on the windshield and I was like, Andrew, faster. When we get to the hospital,
00:27:46
Speaker
And there's like a line, you know? And I was just like, Andrew was like, she's having a baby, like, you know, like in the movie. And they were like, okay, come to the front. And I had to stop a couple times on the way up to labor and delivery because I was like, feeling it. But again, I'm, I'm surviving. Like, I don't know how bad it's supposed to get. So I'm like, this hurts, but I'm okay.
00:28:15
Speaker
Get up there, there's a bed available for us. The doula gets there. This is like not chill at all at this point. Like I packed like a diffuser with sense in it. And I had to watch movies. Like they were like, bring pictures of your friends and family to have around you. And like by the time we got up there, I was like, what the, when the fuck am I supposed to set up my diffuser? And
00:28:43
Speaker
They put me in there. This is my only complaint is that I was fully like in labor, like hurting, but I didn't know because I wasn't, I wasn't sure. I've never done it before. Yeah. Yeah. And they just like were very nonchalantly like putting me in the room where I had to like really like be like, Hey, can someone like come check on me? Like I think I'm having this baby. And they were like, okay.
00:29:08
Speaker
Who's your doctor? You know, like that type of thing. And then finally I was like, I don't care who it is. Like someone needs to check my cervix. So they got a doctor that was there and he went in and I was eight centimeters already. So I was like, let's go. And my doula was like, yeah. He was like,
00:29:30
Speaker
Oh, baby, it's happening. She was so hype. I was so relieved because I was like, if it feels like this, and I'm at four centimeters, I'm not doing it. I quit. So the fact that it was already eight, I was like, thank fucking God. This is going to be over soon. Where's my epidural?
00:29:51
Speaker
You labored a lot on your own. Like, that's props to you, girlfriend. She was there to go to the hospital and she almost birthed in the car. Yeah, that's literally like my number one piece of advice is like, just go when it hurts. Don't try and get you also like, Shannon, when it hurts, whenever you have the next one, like you can't wait that long because second babies come way quicker. No, I'm way quicker.
00:30:19
Speaker
I wish I would get my epidural like in a dream scenario. I think I would get my epidural at like six or seven centimeters because it was bad at the end. But luckily they were able to like get me the epidural before I slipped into nine centimeters because at that point they can't give it to you anymore. Yeah. And that was like the sweetest relief of my entire life. Like I was at a
00:30:47
Speaker
I was not well. And there was a point where they were like, honey, if we can't get this to you in time, you can do this. And I was like, that is not my plan. I was like, get here now. I would have been like, that is not an option. That's what I was like. Get your shit together. That's not an option. I was like, I don't want to do that. So where are they? So they got there in time. They were amazing. Excellent epidural. I could still feel my legs, but no pain. Oh, I felt nothing.
Gratitude and Future Birth Plans
00:31:17
Speaker
It was amazing. And then we chilled for a couple hours, called my parents like intranight chilled, put on Taylor Swift, vibed out. That's when I got to bond with my nurses who I was obsessed with. They were so sweet. And then
00:31:33
Speaker
couple hours later, they were like, okay, it's time to push. And I was like, I'm going to do this so fast. Like I got to eight centimeters and now I feel amazing. Cause I'm high on my epidural. Like I'm going to push 10 times. No, I pushed for the full two hours. And my doctor kept telling me, like I was pushing in my head and not in my
00:32:00
Speaker
Pelvis, do you know what I was like? Yeah. Up in my head, like pushing and she was like, yeah, take that energy and send it to your butt. And I was like, okay. And finally I was able to.
00:32:14
Speaker
push him out, but it was difficult. We realized once he was out, because his arm was like next to his head. His little arm was like sticking right next to his head. So his head was wider than just his head. But that feeling when I finally pushed him out, oh my God, I was so happy. I thought I would keep pushing for six years. Like I thought it would never end.
00:32:42
Speaker
The other things that I did that I thought I would never do was like, when they asked, they were like, do you want to have a mirror so you can see? I was like, yep. Show me. Andrew got way more involved than he thought he would. I thought he would just like sit in the corner and just like not be there, which is why we got the doula. But he was like, he was into it. He had a little pixie. He helped with my legs.
00:33:10
Speaker
Oh God, it was just like so hardcore. And I feel like that's why I loved it was because it is so hardcore and like nasty, dirty business that it made me feel like I could do anything afterwards. So was Andrew sore from holding your legs after birth because Chris was sore. Cry me a river, Chris.
00:33:40
Speaker
You're sore? No, but he did bitch a lot about his little hospital chair thing that he was sleeping in. Don't they all? I was like, OK, let's not. But no, Andrew was pretty awesome. The doula, though, was really the star of the show. Besides me, I was clearly the star. She was the second best. You were the main character.
00:34:10
Speaker
I highly recommend working with Adula. She made me feel so empowered and like I could do it. And then Andrew was really supportive as well. It was just cool. And then after I had him, you're just like in shock because this thing that you've been like,
00:34:28
Speaker
You have the ultrasound and you've kind of thought about it. Like they're alive and they're like wet in their, in their arms. And you're just like, holy shit. I just pushed you out. What? We're so funny. I do love it. The placenta delivery at all. I think because I was just like.
00:34:51
Speaker
so high on having him or maybe it was my epidural like just being the best. I didn't feel that and then they gave me a local anesthetic. I had to get some stitches too. Um, but they gave me a local anesthetic and I didn't feel that either. I had such a good, good birth. I don't say that to be braggy. I say that to like,
00:35:12
Speaker
encourage people that can be a positive experience. I feel like we hear a lot of the bad stories. No, I love this story. It's amazing and so funny. I kind of wish you took a picture in the car of you being like, ah. I'll send you the picture of me looking calm. Maybe it's a live photo. Maybe it's a live photo in the before as you're screaming and then you're like, calm.
00:35:38
Speaker
So yeah, that was it. It was so empowering. It was so crazy. I feel lucky that I'm honestly scared to get induced. Candice, you got induced, so we'll talk about that again. But that scares me because it seems so long. Because you start from so small when you're at the hospital, that it's like, I don't even want to be aware of what's going on for that long.
00:36:01
Speaker
You know, it's definitely it's definitely long. I will wait. Sorry. One more thing. T.J. was the last baby born in twenty twenty one in that hospital. Woo. Happy New Year. So is eleven twenty one p.m. And we had a little New Year's party. And then the first baby born.
00:36:24
Speaker
got free diapers for the year. I remember you saying that. Son of a bitch. Anyway. I remember I was in Canada on vacation for when TJ was born. And we just happened to have someone we went to high school with that is one of the OBGYNs that was working at Shannon's hospital. That was not planned. We didn't even know she worked there. So I was getting real time updates from a doctor's perspective of like, no, she hasn't pushed yet.
00:36:54
Speaker
blah, blah. It was so fun. And I remember like everyone else was like watching the ball drop on New Year's Eve. I was like waiting for TJ's announcement of like the babies drop drop. Yeah, literally. That's so funny. Canis was updating me too on yours. So fun. Okay. Now miss Alice.
00:37:15
Speaker
A tiny baby girl. So, okay. I had COVID in my third trimester. Well, that's, it plays into why I was induced because they would have just let me go.
00:37:32
Speaker
They, they're whole, and I guess, you know, my sister-in-law is an OBGYN and she says they follow this rule too. If you had COVID, especially in your third trimester, they do not let you go a day past your due date. So on my due date, or sorry, the day before my due date, they had set my induction because they were not going to let me go past.
00:37:51
Speaker
my due date was March 26th and they were scheduled my induction for, I was going to go into the hospital at 10 PM on the 25th. They told me to eat a big meal and then to call before we come to make sure there's a bed and there's room for us. We call at 10 PM and they're like, sorry, we have no space for you. We'll call you as soon as there's a bed available.
00:38:21
Speaker
So I, you know, it was like, yeah, I did. I did cry. I was so upset. Like Vinny and I had been looking forward to it all day. We went out to dinner and had our last like hurrah meal. We went to Sally O'Neill's pizza, which I love. And we like talked about how we, this time tomorrow we were going to have our baby.
00:38:43
Speaker
Spoiler alert, it did not happen like that. So whatever, we go all night pretty much. I called every hour. We are very lucky that we have a lot of family that's in medical. Like Vinny's dad is a doctor. His sister is an OB-GYN. We have a lot of friends that are like work in the hospital. So I was constantly like tapping them to be like, can you give me an update? Like, can you call and see if you can get me in? Like I was trying to pull all the strings.
00:39:11
Speaker
Finally, around 5 a.m., they call us and are like, okay, you're good. You can come in. I did not sleep at all that night because I was so nervous and just so much anticipation. Oh, sorry. It is the 25th at this point still. Whatever. We pack up. We go to the hospital. We get there. We meet our nurses. We're getting settled in the room. I absolutely love my labor and delivery nurse. She was so sweet, obsessed with her.
00:39:39
Speaker
And they started off by giving me a Cytotec, I think is what it's called. It's like a little dilation pill type thing that they, it's like a suppository, right? Isn't that what it's called? Yeah. And I should also know I was about one and a half to two centimeters already dilated when I went in. And that I kind of knew because at my last checkup, they had told me I was a little bit dilated.
00:40:06
Speaker
So I was like, okay, maybe this will be good. Like I'll already be a little bit dilated. They put the CytoTech in. Um, I dilated to three centimeters and then they were like, okay, let's go ahead and do the Foley bulb, which is like basically, I mean, I dunno, you, you, you guys can look it up, but there's like two balls and one of them goes inside of your cervix. One of them sits inside the vagina.
00:40:31
Speaker
And they basically fill the balls with, it's like a catheter with two balls. They fill the catheter with water or saline or whatever it is. And it expands the bulbs and makes you dilate. 100% that Foley bulb getting put in was the most painful part of my birth, hands down.
00:40:51
Speaker
It was so uncomfortable and painful. I was like gripping the bed. It was like I had tears streaming down my face, like laying there. Once it was in, it was fine, but it was them putting it in was really, really, really painful. But from there, I progressed like really quickly. The Foley bulb was in.
00:41:14
Speaker
It had been in maybe an hour. And I was like, I got to pee. Like I have to get up and pee. So I got up to pee. And while I was peeing, the fully bulb popped out into the toilet. And it was just like. And I was like, I'm stretched out. Yeah.
00:41:30
Speaker
So the nurse was like, oh, that's a good thing. That means you must be like five, six centimeters. So they checked me. I was six centimeters. And by this time I was like really feeling the contractions. I got a catheter at the beginning like I did. I didn't. Yeah, I didn't. Maybe they didn't do my they didn't do my catheter until I had my epidural. I'm pretty sure. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty right away. Anyway, go ahead.
00:42:00
Speaker
Yeah. So I'm like, okay, this is good. And my nurse seems like so optimistic. She's like, girl, you're having this baby before I get off shift. She was like, so excited. And I was like feeling really good. The contractions had started. They went ahead and broke my water.
00:42:19
Speaker
um which was so crazy it was like this little like fingertip pointer that they just like stuck in and hooked my water which the water breaking was so crazy like the amount of liquid that comes out of you is so insane i feel like that was the thing i was the most shocked about honestly like the amount of liquid that was coming out of me whenever i would like sit up and move like the gush it was so crazy but
00:42:45
Speaker
Also, can we just address water breaking really quickly? Because I feel like everyone thinks your water breaking is the first thing that happens. That's what I assume. And it didn't happen for me until I was almost having a baby. And you were at six, seven centimeters? Yeah. They had to put the finger inside of you to break it. Yeah. They literally had to poke it and break it for me. I didn't feel any of it. I already had my epidural at that point.
00:43:12
Speaker
Whitney, you just think of nothing. I sailed through this whole thing. So crazy. So they break my water. And by that point, like the contractions were getting pretty strong. And I remember they had to sit me up for the epidural. And you have to sit up real straight and sit on the end of the bed. And like, I remember I was like holding my big ass titties.
00:43:41
Speaker
and I was like literally waiting in between contractions and I don't know if this happened to any of you and this happens to me now like with life things like I sometimes if I'm in a lot of pain will like laugh it's like a nervous laugh thing
00:43:58
Speaker
And I would have a really bad contraction and then in between I was dying laughing and they were like, girl, you, we cannot put your epidural in if you don't stop laughing. And part of it was that I was having bad contractions. It was really intense. And then I would stop and literally.
00:44:19
Speaker
Like I could also, as I was sitting up so straight, like feel the gush of liquid just coming out of me. That was making me laugh. I couldn't. And then as I laughed more liquid with gush, it was just like this weird thing. I could, I had like the giggles while they were doing my epidural. And finally I had to like get it under control.
00:44:36
Speaker
And oh my gosh, that epidural really is life-changing. I mean, it's crazy. It's kind of scary though. Yeah, it definitely is. Like I know I have like a buffalo hideback. It took them a while to break my skin.
00:44:53
Speaker
Oh, my God. I was getting sweaty. I was like, Chris, this isn't going to happen for me. But I did. Oh, I also the they like I said, Vinnie's dad is a doctor. He knew the anesthesiologist and the anesthesiologist that did my epidural in my back is the same anesthesiologist that did my mother-in-law's epidural when she was having their youngest, Marin, like my sister-in-law, Marin.
00:45:21
Speaker
So he's very seasoned and was like a pro. He was like the head of anesthesiology or whatever. So I had a lot of faith. I'd heard great things. He was like, why are you laughing? Yeah. I was like, sorry, I just have the giggles about all the pain I'm in. So.
00:45:41
Speaker
So, okay. So I get the epidural, we're laying back, everything is good. And here's where things take a turn. Cause I had progressed by that time, it was only like three or four PM and we arrived at the hospital around six, 30, seven AM. So by three or four PM, I was like seven, eight centimeters. And that's when everything kind of came to a halt. I don't know if it was the epidural and it just like really stopped the, my body like doing its natural like process or whatever, but.
00:46:11
Speaker
It just stopped. So by that time they were like, all right, well, let's just chill. You can get some sleep. Like, so I did. I like rested. I remember, um, it was March madness. So we watched a lot of basketball. My husband was like, do you think she'll wait to come until after the Purdue game? I was like, get the fuck out of here, dude. Like I'm sorry, but I'm not basing when she's coming out around the Purdue game. So yeah, things came to a halt. Finally. Like.
00:46:39
Speaker
I think around like 2 a.m., 1 or 2 a.m., I was having a really hard time sleeping and my contractions started to get worse. I think they had pushed Pitocin, actually, if I remember correctly, to try and progress me. And that is when the contractions started to get really bad and I could feel them again.
00:46:57
Speaker
They weren't as intense as before I got the epidural, but they were definitely intense. They were in my back, I remember, and I was really struggling. I was gripping onto things. I was unwell, and I remember they came and checked me. I was nine centimeters, and I was like, okay, we're almost there. We're almost there.
00:47:19
Speaker
And I remember them asking me because they could tell I was in a decent amount of pain. I remember them asking me, do you want the anesthesiologist to come and like up your epidural? And at that point, I remember I was really starting to feel pressure and like the urge to push that urge that they talk about to like you start to feel that like weird push momentum down there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:47:48
Speaker
And I remember feeling that and just being like, no, like I, it's time to go. Like let's fricking go. And so they checked me again and they were like, all right, we can push. So they checked me, we're good. The doctor wasn't even in there yet. I was like pushing with the nurses, you know? And after my very first push, the nurse was like, oh, you're going to be really good at this. And I was like, yeah, I am. I was like, what a compliment.
00:48:17
Speaker
Yeah, she was like, Oh, you're gonna be really good. And I remember after my second push, they called the doctor to come in like that's how quickly it was happening. They called the doctor and I only push for like 35 minutes, I think that's awesome. And she
00:48:33
Speaker
came out, but let me tell you, I felt everything at the end. I think I've heard it described as the ring of fire and that is how it feels. It was a crazy, painful, burning sensation.
00:48:50
Speaker
And I think if I could go back, and this is a question I was gonna ask all of us, but if I could go back in time and do anything differently, I probably would have had them give me a little more epidural before I pushed. But then I also think, well, what if the reason I pushed so well is because I could feel everything. And that's why I was so productive with pushing. So it's like give or take, you know, I don't know.
00:49:17
Speaker
Um, yeah, I remember them putting her on my stomach, but she was there so quick. I don't know if you guys know it was so fast. I was like, yeah, I'm still in pain. Yeah. And I was in a lot of pain. I could feel things happening down there. They were like massaging your belly and the Shannon, it's crazy that you say you don't remember the placenta because to me that was one of the worst.
00:49:40
Speaker
part. Yeah, I was shaking. She had I like I don't know other ways to do this other than to show you. Okay. Do you know when you're like playing tug of war? Okay, with a rope. And yeah, like if you like go like this with a rope and it like
00:49:57
Speaker
I could feel her doing that. I could feel her doing that with my... No. I had an anterior placenta, so it's attached on the top, like towards my belly, you know? And I could hear her say, damn, this thing really doesn't want to come undone. And she was going like this to get it, try and get it to detach.
00:50:19
Speaker
And I could feel her doing it. And I remember my legs were like twitching because I was so in so much pain that I was shaking so bad.
00:50:34
Speaker
And finally, they asked me to push. I did. We got the placenta out. Thank God, whatever. And then she started to stitch me up or at least try. And I remember thinking, I'm going to kick this doctor in the face. I couldn't control my legs. I was shaking and twitching so bad because I could feel her. Finally, she said to the nurse, OK, let's give her some local anesthetic. And I was like, you couldn't have kept with that?
00:51:02
Speaker
So that's definitely something. I feel like you learned a lot with your first birth. There's a lot of things I would do differently. I would definitely like, this is random, but you know, because we thought we were going in at night, we had that last big meal at like 6 PM and then I didn't need anything. I didn't eat for like two days because you can't eat when you're in there.
00:51:23
Speaker
Yeah. And the nurse was like, did you eat breakfast on the way in? And I was like, no, I thought I couldn't. And she was like, oh, I told all my patients you should eat something before you go in. So if you're pregnant and you're listening to this and you were going in like early in the morning, eat something, just do it. Just eat something. Smart. But it was crazy. Yeah. I threw you on that. I shook over that placenta bit.
00:51:52
Speaker
No, I feel so lucky. I don't know if my epidural is just timed perfectly or what, but after he was delivered, I felt nothing. I don't know. I thought that's what was going to happen, and I was shocked when I was still in pain. I was like, what's happening? Something's wrong, but it was really just my placenta, and that I had torn, and I was feeling everything. I don't know. It was crazy. What time was Alice born?
00:52:23
Speaker
4 49 a.m. Little morning, baby. Mm hmm. So we were up pretty much all night. Like I remember sleeping that evening from like, oh, and then what was cool is because, you know, the shift changes at 7 p.m. and 7 a.m. So the nurse when we arrived that morning, she was our nurse all the way until she left at 7 p.m.
00:52:47
Speaker
She was the one who was like, you're having this baby before I get off shift. That didn't happen. But when she came back at 7am the next day, the baby had been born and I was still in that room. They hadn't moved me to postpartum yet. So she got to come back and say hi and meet the baby. And she was like, she was like, this is a really cute one. Like you, I'm not just saying that she's really cute. And I was like, thank you so much.
00:53:11
Speaker
I mean, yeah. Oh, wait, I forgot. I forgot something crazy that happened, though. Like literally, Alice had my mom was there. Vinny was there.
00:53:20
Speaker
Vinny was actually did way better than I thought he would. He was in there, he saw everything, he was good. My mom, literally Alice came out. I'm like unwell, things are happening, things are moving so quickly. I'm like, is she okay, is she okay? And all of a sudden I see my mom and my mom jolts out the room, like sprints out the room. And I remember the doctor literally being like, is she okay? Can one of you go check on her?
00:53:49
Speaker
And I was like, oh great, she saw my vagina and she's like, I gotta go. And turns out my mom and I get it. I think it's just a lot of anxiety. There's a lot going on. We hadn't eaten anything all night. We didn't sleep. It was a long night. My mom just got like sick, like an overrun. She puked in the hallway. It happens. I don't care.
00:54:11
Speaker
She just like ran out. Yeah. Yeah. And it ended up, it ended up happening again, actually. Like before we got moved to postpartum, she was holding Alice for the first time and she like looked at the nurse and she was like, could you take her? And she ran into the bathroom and puked again. And the nurse was like, are you okay? And they made her sit down and like drink some apple juice and like chill out because it was just, I think it was just, there's a lot going on. It's like, hi.
00:54:39
Speaker
It's and it's hot. Yeah, for sure. It's a lot. It's a moment. Yeah. Yeah. Funny. We are on the other side, though. We've made it. I know. I'll be so much more relaxed. Yeah. The second time around, I feel like I'll be so much more relaxed, feeling better prepared.
00:54:58
Speaker
I'm bringing only tasty treats. Like I packed all these healthy snacks. And after delivery, I was like, I want to Snickers in a Coke. Like that is what I want. And I feel like I remember the snacks I brought. I couldn't even tell you. I brought healthy shit. And I was like, why? I just wanted something tasty after.
00:55:20
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Let's talk about what you brought that you were glad that you brought and then like, what's laughable that you brought. I feel like I barely touched my, the bag that I brought my hospital bag. I'm glad I brought a speaker because we played music and like I played Beyonce when I was pushing and it was awesome. That's honestly it. I brought my own hospital gown, which TJ immediately defecated on upon being foreign. He was like,
00:55:52
Speaker
And I was like, I love him. I don't care. And they threw it away. Other than that, I touched nothing. I used everything the hospital provided. They have everything you need. Oh, my God. That's so funny. My favorite thing was bringing the long cord for my phone. Yes. So that was clutch. I was there so long. I'm glad I brought my own pillow and blanket.
00:56:17
Speaker
I feel like I had another thing. I brought a change of clothes and my thong. This is humble time. It's diaper time. Let's go. You wear diaper for a month after. I don't know what I was thinking packing all this underwear and all these things.
00:56:37
Speaker
Yeah, definitely bringing the phone cord, pillow, blanket was clutch. I think, yeah, your own pillow, the phone cord, all of that. I remember one thing, I only packed one of them and I ended up living in it, was one of those nursing tanks that is also a shirt, but also a nursing bra.
00:57:02
Speaker
My milk came in hard and fast, everyone. Literally, I remember my very first shower after giving birth. I was like, oh my gosh, I get to finally take a shower. And I took a shower.
00:57:19
Speaker
and I came out and I was like, you know, there's a lot going on after you give birth and you're like naked. I remember I had like my diaper situation on and I was leaning down to like put my pants on. So I was like, imagine me topless, leaned over after a warm shower and Vinny said, babe, you're like pouring milk everywhere.
00:57:43
Speaker
And I'm not kidding. I looked down and it looked like two gallons of milk had been unleashed onto the floor. Like it was crazy. So I my milk came in very, very fast and.
00:58:00
Speaker
I don't know. I think I I get very hot. I get hot easily. I think I'd always heard that hospitals were like cold like and I brought all these like comfy like long sleeve things. And like it turns out I was just hot. I just wanted to be in like cozy pajama shorts and a nursing tank. And I remember I sent Vinny home to like switch out some of the things I had brought like. Hmm.
00:58:29
Speaker
Yeah. And now she would not like neck it the whole time. Like the nurses walked in and you're just bare breasted. You could have been in true candy form. Like, Hey, welcome to my playground. Welcome to candy land. This is candy's world.
00:58:48
Speaker
Oh my God. You guys are definitely right. I didn't bring any pillows or blankets of my own and I should have pillows, blankets, a phone cord, fuzzy socks for me, speaker.
00:59:02
Speaker
That's it. Oh, yeah. The other thing is our TV and our room like didn't have a lot on it. Like, I mean, it had like some cable channels, but like I remember we brought my iPad and like set that up and was like watching shows and movies. That was really helpful. And then the other thing is your own towel because the towels they have for the shower. So I didn't really shower or did I? I must have.
00:59:31
Speaker
We ended up, I know I've talked about this. We were there for five days because of her jaundice. So we were just there for a long time. Like, I'm sure I did use it. I was there five days as well. It's a long stay. Dude, I was so ready to get out of there. I thought I was going to dress all cute and take like a going home pick.
00:59:52
Speaker
I left in my robe and slippers. I was like, fuck this. And I was out. I didn't care what I looked like. I was just so tired and ready to go. After five days. Yeah, I'm out.
01:00:08
Speaker
I do want to like, if we're wrapping up here, just give a shout out to the nurses of America. You guys are the backbone of this nation. And we salute you. Like, I was so obsessed with all of my nursing staff. They took such good care of me. They were so like, bright and cheerful. Doing a job that I'm sure is more difficult than they let on. Like, I send all the love to the nurses out there.
01:00:33
Speaker
I agree. Thank you, Chelsea. And thank you, Dustin. And thank you to everyone that helped me through all that because like you said, God bless. Thank you. I don't know. I literally my labor and delivery nurses were angels and my postpartum nurses like I don't know what I would have done without them. I cried to them every day. I like truly was so unwell. They should be paid
01:01:02
Speaker
I feel like it's the common thing to like buy your nurses gifts or like buy nurse gifts. I got a tip from a friend who is a nurse who said don't buy the gifts with the water bottles and like whatever.
01:01:17
Speaker
all nurses want are food. So we just had trays of Chick-fil-A nuggets delivered and it was a huge hit. I was the favorite person on the floor and it was like 30 bucks or 40 bucks or whatever for two trays of chicken nuggets, which is cheaper than to put together a bunch of baskets with stuff in them. So highly recommend if you do want to treat your nurses to get some sort of food, like catering food delivered. That is so nice of you Candice.
01:01:47
Speaker
Yeah. Cause it'll just, you just, we just did it through the Chick-fil-A app and like literally they delivered it. It was so nice. I'm going to do that next time. Yeah. More question. If you could do, and I know I think I talked about this, if you could do anything differently, what would you do?
01:02:02
Speaker
I'd ask for that peanut ball sooner. You think that like kickstarted things? Yeah, I know it did. Okay. My, yeah, I think she was like a trained doula on the side. So it was like, I had one with me that day. So she's definitely what got him moving. Oh, amazing.
01:02:21
Speaker
Mine would be get to the hospital sooner. So it wasn't so frantic as soon as we got there. Yeah, I would have advocated for myself a little bit more with the end of my epidural and it wearing off a little. And then also after I gave birth, I would have been like, can you please? I didn't even know that local anesthetic was a possibility. I feel like now that I know that, I would have been like, hi, I'm in a lot of pain. Can you please give me some local anesthetic?
01:02:49
Speaker
I would have just advocated for myself a little bit more. For sure. Yeah. We'll be more informed the next time around. Yeah. And we also have plans to, my cousin is a nurse and midwife and she has four kids. She also delivered her second in the car, which is wild. Got it.
01:03:12
Speaker
Yeah, so we're going to have her on. She's going to talk about preparing for birth and how to advocate yourself in the birth room. So that is going to be coming up here hopefully within the next month or so. So we'll post some questions for her, a question box so you guys can ask some questions for her. But this is just the beginning. I know we'll talk about birth a million times over. Whitney, I can't wait to hear your birth story with baby Margo.
01:03:40
Speaker
It's going to be magical. I feel like I'm having phantom pain in my back just talking about all this. Yeah. I definitely felt the urge to push when Canvas was telling me the story. I was like, oh, there it is. There she is.
01:03:55
Speaker
Oh, so fun to relive those moms. Love you guys so much. And I'll see you next week. Love you. Bye. Bye. Thank you so much for being a part of our mom group chat. New episodes drop every Tuesday. And don't forget, the group chat is blowing up on our Instagram page. So make sure you're following along over there. All right, gotta go. My toddler just put something in her mouth.