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EP 144: Rapid Fire
1 Playsin 4 hours
This week on the Mom Group Chat podcast, we’re doing a little rapid fire life catch-up. From sick kids and Mother’s Day moments to the mental load moms carry that nobody really talks about… this episode feels like sitting on the couch with your friends catching up on real life.
Candace recaps Alice’s adorable Mother’s Day event at school, we talk about the sweet little gifts our kids made for us, and have an honest conversation about the difference between moms having hobbies/goals versus dads having them (because… why does it somehow feel different?).
Then we move into a rapid fire check-in with prompts like:
- Something that’s been hard
- Something that’s been easy
- Something we’re over
- Something we’re loving
- Something we’ve been avoiding
It’s honest, funny, slightly chaotic, and very much a real-time life update episode.
Keep up with the Moms and join the conversation on our socials:
📸 Instagram: @momgroupchat
🎵 TikTok: @momgroupchat
Questions/comments/need to vent? Email us at momgroupchat@gmail.com
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Transcript
Introduction to the Podcast
00:00:07
Speaker
There's no right way to do it.
00:00:12
Speaker
Oh, we're going to get into it. What up, moms? My name is Candice, and I'm here with my best friend, Whitney, and this is the Mom Group Chat Podcast. Hi, friends. Oh, my God. I thought I was going to cough in the middle of that.
Challenges of Parenting Sick Children
00:00:27
Speaker
Well, coughing's been going on a lot over here. I'm home with a sicky child. I don't know what the hell is happening.
00:00:36
Speaker
ah Yeah, you got a sleepy girl over there. every life i feel like every every five hours I get a so a picture of Margo sleeping somewhere random. It's giving when Graydon had the flu and he would just keep passing out on the couch. I'm like, hmm, she just like fell asleep in my lap earlier. And then it got really quiet and I went and looked and she was just like hunched over like that.
00:01:00
Speaker
And it was passed out again. And I was like, all right, we're going to put you in the bed. yeah i go I feel like that's when you know you don't they don't feel good when they're just like passing out everywhere.
00:01:13
Speaker
mean, she's... Well, it's weird because my kids never act like that. Hardly ever. Like Graydon did when he had the flu. And then normally they just have ear infections. So I know what to do.
00:01:25
Speaker
But this is like a virus. So I'm like, hmm, this is a fever. I don't get that very often. i feel like we're the opposite. We don't get ah a ton of ear. Well, i don't know. We get some of ear infections, but we we're fever girls. I feel like my kids pop a fever and like get lethargic often and then like they're back to normal.
00:01:47
Speaker
I got fever kids. are um Yeah, I mean, Graydon used to when he was like super little, but yeah, really not much anymore. Yeah.
00:01:58
Speaker
It's kind of crazy that it's May and I feel, I don't know, we just, we've been in a little bit of like a sick, sick season, a short one and like a less intense one, but like we're in a little sickness bout, a bout of sickness right now.
00:02:13
Speaker
I know. I always think, oh, they're not sick that often. But then, so i got super sick from whatever, like in January. Who knows what the hell I got? And I had a cough. And I saw on the prescription because I got like cough medicine.
00:02:28
Speaker
And it was sometime in January. And now it's almost, I've had to take it like three or four times since then. I'm like, man, it's only May. Yeah. And I've gotten sick three or four times since January.
00:02:40
Speaker
I feel, to be honest, like I just didn't, like even though the flu was back in February, like I genuinely feel like we're still recovering. Like we're still, we have PTSD from the flu. We're like. oh Yeah, we had it at the same time. I forget. Yeah.
00:02:55
Speaker
But whatever oh my gosh. Yeah. I mean, just like these.
00:03:00
Speaker
Yeah, i feel like I look fancier than I normally do for the pod this morning.
Heartwarming and Humorous Parenting Moments
00:03:06
Speaker
I'm coming straight from Alice's Mother's Day event at school, which was so freaking sweet Like it was so cute and like very well done. It was like a fully catered brunch spread. Like you name it, they had it. It was like so beautifully done and like flowers everywhere. They had a little photo set up. So i got some like cute mother daughter photos with Alice and they gave us a bunch of gifts. I got like some handmade stuff and a plant And they did one of those um like about my mom things where they had asked her questions about me. other there It's funny. First of all, she thinks I'm 15 years old. That's great.
00:03:54
Speaker
To that I say, hell yeah. And then mom I'm a teen mom. which is like how I feel on the inside, you know? And then the other thing is ah she wrote that my favorite food is salad.
00:04:10
Speaker
That's what Graydon said about me. oh my God. Wait, that's so funny. I forgot about that. Yeah. I was shocked to read that she thought my favorite food was salad. I was really nervous that she was going to put like Culver's on there or something real embarrassing.
00:04:28
Speaker
Graydon said salad about me and Chris goes, I don't think you know mommy at all. and then he said, what's her favorite drink? And he said, wine. And he's like, all right, you're back. You're back. shoot Wait, that's funny. um she ah She also wrote on there like like our favorite thing to do together is play hopscotch. And I'm like, girl, I don't think we've ever played that. She has asked questions about that recently. So I wonder like i she must have heard someone else, like another kid say that. I don't know. But it's just funny that like I'm like, I don't think we've ever played that once. Have you ever like made a chalk?
00:05:06
Speaker
hopscotch when she was younger probably but not like any recently like anytime recently dude i used to when i lived in my old house um i used to make them for the neighborhood kids and i would do like crazy like halloween themed ones and it was so fun i miss that is so cute Um, so that was, it was just such a sweet little morning and it's so good to like have some one-on-one special time. And she, you could tell she was like so proud to give me everything she made and her school like did a really good job to like make the moms feel special. And they also went up on the stage and like sang us this cute little song, which was sweet. Yeah.
00:05:48
Speaker
You know how there's like pivotal
Mother's Day Reflections
00:05:50
Speaker
moment? Well, I say this like as a now girl mom, I have found there's been like two significant like pivotal moments that I felt like, oh my God, I'm a girl mom. And it was when we got her toenails done and when we took her to the mall or when I personally took her to the mall for the first time. And I feel like a significant like moment that I'm to be like going to probably f freaking cry is when Graydon sings on stage like in a program for the first time because i loved that so much growing up that i feel like that's going to be a big like parent moment for me so i'm jealous that you're already doing it.
00:06:27
Speaker
Yeah, they do a couple little programs every or a couple times a year. the Christmas one every single time has made me cry. It is yeah so sweet to see them up there singing on stage and like they've been practicing and you can tell they're so proud of themselves when they're done and they're like looking for you in the audience and like waving. It's so sweet. Yeah.
00:06:49
Speaker
It really is I'm looking forward to that. And you know what else is funny? So my mom has and like a, I guess it was a Mother's Day thing I made for her when I was in kindergarten. Same questions were asked, like, what do you love doing with your mom? She still has it in her closet. And I wrote, we love to go dancing. And to this day, i remember her questioning me and saying,
00:07:11
Speaker
dancing like we've never gone dancing and it hurt my feelings so bad that she questioned me saying that and i was like oh like I just said that I don't know and I just remember it hurting my feelings that she like questioned it instead of like liking what I made for her Oh my gosh. Okay, well that makes me like I didn't question Alice. I was just like, oh yay. it makes me feel better that I didn't like call her out on saying it wrong. don't know why i
00:07:45
Speaker
I think maybe she was like saying it in like a funny way. Like, what made you say that? And I remember being embarrassed. I was such a um I don't know, an emotional child. Like I was sensitive Sally. Oh, there we go. That's where was, I was very, very, very sensitive when I was little. And I remember being really embarrassed. Like I said the wrong thing and then she didn't like it.
00:08:10
Speaker
Wow. That is so interesting. God, I just find like people's personalities and like the trajectory of things to be so interesting. Cause like in my brain now, like I don't see you as a super sensitive like person at all.
00:08:24
Speaker
Yeah, super sensitive. Like where did it where did it shift? um i Actually, wait, can I answer it for you? I feel like I know. okay. i not to like call you out on your own, like, or like did, what's the word I'm saying?
00:08:43
Speaker
Like not to like, Call out your feelings or whatever. you can We can cut this part out. But i always i always remember you telling us about when Devin broke up with you and you were like,
00:08:56
Speaker
fuck that. I will never like be that sensitive ever again. Or like, I will never let anyone care or I will never care more about someone than they love me or something. You know what i'm trying to say? I'm not articulating it well. And then you were like, I will be the boss from now on. And you have been, i feel like, so that is a different, that's like when I learned about how to work boys,
00:09:24
Speaker
you're like, I'm ready to play the game. Yeah, I was like, oh, so this is how it's done. um i feel like that's more of like a a power boy significant other play that I learned.
00:09:37
Speaker
As girls do, all girls go through a hard breakup, you know, at some point and you're just like, holy shit, I never want to feel like that again. But I just, I don't know. I remember like losing the baby chubby weight and like people thinking I was funny and I got more confident and like an elementary school.
00:09:56
Speaker
Okay. Still was always super sensitive though. Like, God, you could not say anything wrong to me or I cry. oh my gosh. That's so interesting. I do not see you that way at all now. So it's just so interesting.
00:10:10
Speaker
Like,
00:10:13
Speaker
I don't know. It's crazy. Yeah, something's shifted. I i remember having a friend, Haley Pine, who like went to a different high school, not one that was like in Clarksville. Like she went to like a really far away high school and she was like the most confident person I'd ever met. And I was like, she was like, it's literally like how someone makes you feel. Like you can control how you feel about like what someone says to you. And I remember thinking,
00:10:40
Speaker
you're so fucking right. Like, why am I taking everything so hard or like to face value? And I, and I like was seeing how she was reacting to things and not being embarrassed. And I was like, Oh, I don't have to be that way either. And that was in high school. And so I kind of like took what she was doing and mimicked.
00:11:01
Speaker
Yeah. Good for you and good for Haley Pine. That's good messaging. Like the fact that she had that awareness at like such a young age is pretty crazy. She was so mature and like she went through a hard childhood. So I feel like she like learned early on where I felt like I'm so sheltered. yeah And then, you know, I got my first breakup and I was like, how could anyone treat someone like this? Like I've always been coddled my whole life. This is like a yeah therapy session. like I know. I'm sorry. hey you wanted a deep episode and we're going there.
00:11:32
Speaker
So sorry. But yeah, that's so funny. how did we get here? I'm like, where how do I get back? How do I get back to what were talking about? Other than like you having the best Mother's Day like at school, I, like I said, I can't wait to do that when Graydon's in real school. oh yeah. Because our daycare doesn't, I mean, they'll do like a little, i don't know, coffee or whatever.
00:11:59
Speaker
And they like go all out for a grandmother. I remember Grandparents Day being like really fun. And I was like, oh, yeah. Wish Mother's Day had that, but okay. Damn. See, I kind of felt like the Mother's Day I had this morning was like so thoughtful and like nice that I was like, damn, this is nicer than anything my husband will do That's so sad, but it's true. Like I just felt like it was so thoughtful and like well put together and love Vinny so much. But like, yeah.
00:12:31
Speaker
It's sad because like, obviously this Mother's Day event was like put on by women, you know, it was put on by probably other moms that work for the school and the teachers. So it's just like women just do it better. I'm sorry. It's just the truth. So i feel like, yeah, yeah.
00:12:48
Speaker
My expectations are lower for real mothers. Sorry. See, I feel like I don't have any. I don't know. Like, I don't expect Chris to do anything because then I don't know. I just am like, let's do lunch.
00:13:00
Speaker
I like I don't know. I don't really like feel a certain way about it. I think I definitely do have like expectations in the sense of I really want to feel appreciated and like seen and like acknowledged. And I don't always, I haven't always felt that way on Mother's Day. And I think that's where it always, like it doesn't even matter necessarily about what we do. It's that like, I want acknowledgement from my husband and my kids for like everything that i do for them. yeah And I don't always get that. So I feel let down.
00:13:33
Speaker
Yeah. I feel you. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Well, and then you have to think like Father's Day is right around the corner. So it's like, right, well, what we doing for that now?
00:13:46
Speaker
Well, Father's Day is our first full day in Lake Tahoe. So he'll be in Lake Tahoe. He'll be so happy. I'm like, you guys, you can have a day and do whatever you want. What day is a He's that June 20th or sorry, June 21st, I think. okay I'll be home. That's good.
00:14:04
Speaker
Yeah. He's not like, it's funny, most you know, you hear a lot like dad's golf and all that. Vinny's not a golfer. So either is never I never have to worry about that.
00:14:15
Speaker
Yeah, neither is Chris. He'll probably be like, I want to work out for two hours. And I'll be like, okay. Which I will say, and don't care if he does that anymore. Because my kids are older and it's fine. Like before it was so
Balancing Personal Goals and Family Life
00:14:30
Speaker
hard. I'm like, why did you choose this like intense sport to participate in when our children were so fucking little?
00:14:38
Speaker
Now go do it. I don't give a shit. But why did you choose to do it when Margo was two months old? like I was having a huge mental struggle with that. And now I'm like, go be you. Like i can watch them the whole day. i don't give a shit. You know what i mean?
00:14:57
Speaker
I don't know. was just hard when he was chose to do that. Yeah. i I mentioned this before we like started recording, but Vinny has been running more and has been showing interest in like running marathons and doing races and like doing an Ironman He keeps talking about all these like big races and goals he wants to do. And I'm like, I feel like I feel a fire inside of me of like fear, rage. It's a little anxiety because you're like, what does that mean? And I just know how Chris gets like he gets pretty intense and like he won't act normal until his workout's done. And then he's like back to his old self. But it's he's like in this mindset of like, I have to get this done. That's the priority. i am Yeah.
00:15:45
Speaker
that's I think that's where I will struggle is because there's so many things in my life in like that I feel like are a priority, but I put them on the back burner because of other shit like family shit. And they just always have the space to make whatever they want a priority. And that will always frustrate me. Always.
00:16:05
Speaker
I've started to like... switch into doing things I want to do a lot. Like on Saturday, I would have like never left the family. But now I like go and work out first in the morning with my girl group.
00:16:20
Speaker
And then since we're all hanging out, we talk about plans for the rest of the day or maybe Sunday. And now Kathleen and i will go and like shop over nap. And I'm like, hey, I'm leaving again that nap. And it I'm like, I would have never have done this two years ago, even last year. I would have never done this. And now I'm just kind of like, I'm peacing out. I'm going to go do this. I'm going to go do that. And and so, and that, and maybe that's why I feel like go do what you want to do. Cause I finally am doing what I want to do. Yeah. Yeah.
00:16:54
Speaker
Yeah. I feel like I am like 80% there. I think that there's still, like, I'm definitely good with that when I'm like going on a trip or like making big plans. I'm really good at being like, Hey, I'm doing this and like figure it out. I think it's more in the like smaller moments like the day-to-day, like weekend day stuff where sometimes I hold back on saying what I actually would like to do or like to get done or things like that. I i always turn ah sad and like yeah maybe I'm just a big enabler, but I feel like sometimes I turn to Vinny to be like, what do you want to get done today? Because I know that he will be more of a nightmare if he doesn't get done what he wants to get done. And so therefore,
00:17:39
Speaker
I put whatever I want on the back burner, which is like something I got to work on guys. I feel like I was doing that until I wouldn't probably be going out and doing all this as much if I didn't have like a partner in crime to do it with me. Like I would never, unless it was like something I needed for the house or whatever, but i it's just like, Hey, there is an estate sale that popped up. Like, would you want to go over nap? And I'm like,
00:18:09
Speaker
Oh, yeah, I would. Like, it's just like I have someone to go do something with. So it helps. Like, I don't think I would do it just to do it.
00:18:20
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. I don't know. I feel like overall we are in such a good like swing of things right now and we're in such a good groove. And I do think i We have come in. so We have come such a long way of being like, here's what I need. Here's what you need.
00:18:36
Speaker
Let's work together to figure out where we both can like get our needs met. Yeah. Yeah. yeah Yeah. I mean, it's completely different from when the kids were little.
00:18:48
Speaker
Yeah. The one thing about the Ironman and the racing that he's talking about is like over the weekend we saw friends and family and he was talking. He ran a half marathon randomly, on like not a race, but like on his own. He woke up and ran 13 over 13 miles.
00:19:06
Speaker
He limped like the Tin Man the rest of the day. I cannot. Who just does that? He just woke up and ran 13 miles.
00:19:18
Speaker
if i want If I try to run three, I'll have diarrhea the rest of the day. no, like I couldn't even run three. Like that's just not happening for me. But anyway, so we ran the fricking half marathon on Saturday morning. And then he, when we saw friends and stuff, he was saying like, yeah, I want to run, i want to start running some races. And he was like, and by next fall, I want to run a half Ironman or do a half Ironman. And I was like looking at him like,
00:19:49
Speaker
The timeline for this supposed third baby that we keep talking about is fall of next year. and I'm like, so you're telling me this is right I'm going to be pregnant with two toddlers and you're going to be training for a half Ironman? Like, No, sir. I think you should have it be this fall and just get your ass in the gym. Honestly, I'd rather him do that. I'd rather him do that. So that way I agree in this because we're in this happy, easy phase right now. The girls are so fun and like easy to deal with blah, blah, blah. Like,
00:20:24
Speaker
I'd rather it be now than next when I'm pregnant next fall. And he could totally do it by fall, October. Yeah. He's already a fucking maniac. Like he just wakes up and like, hasn't run at all in like weeks. His last run before this half marathon was when we were in San Diego, he woke up every day we were there and ran.
00:20:43
Speaker
See, want he he's already good at s swim. I mean, obviously he can run a bit. So now he just needs to practice on the bike. Yeah. I'm sure he'll be texting Chris soon and being like, what should I buy? I'm like, great.
00:20:58
Speaker
Gird our credit cards because I know that shit ain't cheap. Yeah. I mean, it's not. But here's the fun part. He's going to catch the bug and sign up for the one in the fall and next fall. So get ready.
00:21:14
Speaker
I just want to bang my head against this microphone. Oh, my God. Wow. Wow. Anywho, um our thoughts for this episode, I mean, we're kind of just yapping, but we both feel like we're in such a good place with everything right now. Like the kids are like semi-easy. Things are working. We're in a flow.
Podcast Evolution and Parenting Journey
00:21:38
Speaker
I don't know. I feel like, like she said, we're in such a good spot with this age. And I was just thinking like, man, we've had this podcast for three years. And i was like, wow, we are, we've talked about like getting out of the baby phase, but it doesn't mean that like,
00:21:53
Speaker
I don't know that we're not the same parents that we were. We're just in a different phase. And I love how our audience is like growing with us and that we're still like getting new ears with people that are just having babies. Cause it's like the beginning is so relevant, relevant, relevant, relevant because we can have kids. So I was like, man, it's kind of hard to sometimes think about what we could talk about if we don't have like a ton of drama going on in our life. Yeah.
00:22:21
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Like where's the tea? Like, what are we doing? But it's, but the truth is like, that even us talking right now, like even as we start talking, like there is tea, like there is little minutiae things that like happen or are annoying or are stressful and like all of that. But honestly, I'm proud of us that we can look mostly at the big picture and be like, things are good right now. Well, it's funny because i don't I don't even feel those things anymore about triathlons, but I got fired up thinking about how I did feel.
00:22:53
Speaker
Well, that's why i know that's why you're going to be such a good partner for me in this experience because if he starts doing that, like I'm going to need someone to bitch about it with. and like So get ready to be my get ready to be my bitch. I don't think anything set me afire, aflame more than that.
00:23:13
Speaker
in our marriage. I'm not fucking kidding.
00:23:18
Speaker
I'll never forget us driving around in Chapel Hill with Shannon. And he was, he had a race coming up and you were like, you were so dead, deadpan about this. And you were like, yeah, I'm not going. Yeah.
00:23:32
Speaker
You were like, I'm not going. Like, we're not going. he'll He'll do it himself. Like, we're not going to see him race. And I think, I don't even know if you asked us if we thought, like, our thoughts on it. But I think I remember being like, will he be sad about that? And you were like, I don't care.
00:23:48
Speaker
i was so mad back then. Like, I really had crazy feelings that he was choosing that role. Over our family. I like literally those were my thoughts.
00:23:59
Speaker
Yeah, I feel like it's fair. It's a lot of work. That's why and I know and I remember your feelings about it. So like they're so vivid in my brain. That's why I'm so nervous about Vinny saying he wants to do that, even though I think it could be good for him to like have a little bit of focus somewhere else other than like work and stuff. But I also know that the man is OCD. OK, like diagnosed. Yeah.
00:24:22
Speaker
And I think I can say that openly on here. I don't think he'd be mad about that. And I'm just worried about the hyper focus on that and worried that it would backfire.
00:24:34
Speaker
I mean, you kind of have to be, especially like knowing Vinny wanting to probably like place on the podium just because that's who Vinny is. And I don't blame him. He played sports and he was a winner ah he's a college time athlete. yeah um So it just like comes with the territory. Like you have to train really hard for those things. Like, yeah.
00:24:59
Speaker
Not a lot of people do it because of how fucking hard it is. Yeah. And I
Impact of Husbands' Hobbies on Family
00:25:04
Speaker
get that now. And I'm fully on board for Chris to do another one now. Yeah. If you're listening, Chris, I'm sorry. Wow. I just was not into it back then.
00:25:15
Speaker
I mean, you guys were in like the trenches and the hard stages of life. So that's why, i mean, it's exactly why. And was jealous he had something else to do. Yeah. Good times. Good times. good Good times. Don't want to go back there. i want to do that again.
00:25:31
Speaker
all right. Let's just do we're going to just do these like rapid fire check-in like prompts and then see what comes out of it. Like see, see what comes up for us. Okay. I'm scared.
00:25:43
Speaker
Don't be scared. They're pretty simple. Okay. Something that's been hard. That's the first prompt. Lately. Mm-hmm.
00:25:56
Speaker
like oh Everything. I'm like, everything's so great. i everything. I know mine if you want me to go first. and So something that has been hard for me is like managing my social battery everything.
00:26:18
Speaker
Like now that we're at this play date phase and like friend phase that if I try, i think in the past couple of weeks, really since we went to San Diego, like so for the past month or two, I've been really laying on, laying the social time on thick with like my friends that don't have kids and. And like that are outside of my like kid world. I've been doing a ton of social time with them. But I also have been laying on thick like play date socials, kit kids hangouts. And like both of them are so great in their own way. But I feel like I hit a bit of a wall oh after this past weekend where I'm like – it makes me want to like revert. I'm like I am missing the chill super chill alone time. I'm missing the mundane like –
00:27:08
Speaker
just you know stay at home, like do stuff around the house. like I feel like our schedule has been packed and it has both filled my cup and also emptied it in different ways. So I feel like I'm just like in this... So it's been hard...
00:27:24
Speaker
I don't know. Maybe that was like a little bit of a hard realization because I also feel so full of like, I feel like my cup is full from it, but I'm also like, okay, I think I need to take like pair it a little bit back to like also have some alone time. Cause you know about me, I'm an extrovert to a T, but I also like really need that recharge time. And that's like what I'm missing right now. Yeah. And I mean, you had two trips back to back too. So yeah that adds on a lot. Um, yeah.
00:27:55
Speaker
I feel you in that. I usually like love to have plans at least once or like one thing a day on the weekend. And then I'm like, I'm good. But usually that one thing on the weekend is like a long thing. Like we all just got back from the beach together and then we all had like a birthday party and we were there from like three to nine.
00:28:13
Speaker
my yeah we're just hung out all afternoon again. but I love it. You know me. i
Personal Well-being and Body Image
00:28:20
Speaker
and like all that. But a hard thing for me, i guess like top of mind is probably like, don't know, like work has been kind of hard. It's just like picking up and travel is about to start picking up. So I feel like I've just been busy. um And then i per usual, my usual cycle, I'm i'm pretty hard on myself with
00:28:47
Speaker
my body. It's per usual. i fluctu I'm like a a fluctuator. So i you like am really good at like getting to where I want to be. And then I kind of let loose and Chris and I go out to eat a lot and then we're ordering food. And so I just like let myself yo-yo like a mofo. And so right now i like just got back from the beach and i'm like feeling sorry for myself. And so that's always That's just a day in my life, baby. Yeah.
00:29:18
Speaker
I mean, i you know I relate hardcore to that. like And it kind of goes back to like the social battery thing. I feel like I've let loose. like We've had so much social time, so much eating out, drinking, – just a lot. Like I need a lock in, you know, and that's like how I feel.
00:29:35
Speaker
Yeah. But I feel the same way. I'm, I'm in a, like, it's always a wave, but I'm on a down wave right now. And I need to like lock in recharge, refocus on like my wellbeing.
00:29:48
Speaker
Um, and yeah, I feel like noticing the world around. I'm going to sneeze. Hold
00:29:57
Speaker
I'm like noticing the world around me just because like I am so hard on myself. And I'm like, how is everyone so small? And everyone looks like cute little moms in their tennis skirts and this and that. And I'm just like looking around and like, why can I never lock in long enough to be happy? Yeah. Like a psycho.
00:30:18
Speaker
The good news is is that if you were to lock in for the whole month of May, like you'd be totally back for June. I'd probably be just like happy. Yeah, exactly. And that's like kind of where I'm at. I'm like, I'm going to lock in for the month of May. Like we don't have any travel. We go to Lake Tahoe in June. I just want to go to Lake Tahoe feeling good. So I'm just like, and the thing is like, this what always tell myself. If I ever get on this down swing of like thoughts about myself and my body, the first thing I say to myself is, you know what you need to do. Like Like this isn't like I'm in control.
00:30:51
Speaker
i know what I need to do and I need to just do it. And so that's that. I have to call myself. Like I'm the kind of person who has to call myself out on my own bullshit or like that's the only way change will happen. Exactly. And that's how I feel. like You know, you just feel terrible, not terrible, but you feel like, oh my God, I drink so much. I ate so much on a trip, like I'm bloated. So that's just like how I've felt. And then I like locked in last week feeling good. And I'm like, mm I'm on a little wave and I'm just going to ride it into June or Memorial weekend and like just feel good by then, you know? Exactly. Exactly.
00:31:28
Speaker
But I feel like every mom deals with that. And especially as we enter this like summertime, late spring, the clothes are getting smaller. The bathing suits are coming out. It is, it's inevitable, you know? Exactly.
00:31:43
Speaker
Okay. Well, we've talked about something that's been hard. So let's talk about something that's been easy.
00:31:54
Speaker
Okay, mine is so small and little. Okay. But it's just something that I have so much like gratitude for. It's so stupid and
Simple Joys of Parenting
00:32:03
Speaker
simple. But it's the fact that we can go out to places and bring almost nothing with us. like I see these parents, like I saw it today at the Mother's Day event, like these parents who come with these big diaper bags and like big strollers. And I just look at them and I'm like, i literally – don't miss that at all. Like i the fact, like I literally take my anthropology purse that I always have and I throw one diaper in it. It already has like a pack of wipes and hand sanitizer. And like, sometimes I'll throw some snacks in my bag, but like,
00:32:39
Speaker
That's like, we just come, like, we know that they can get food wherever we are going. Like it's never, they can both walk and they love to walk. So I don't have to bring a stroller everywhere. And I am just really loving that phase of like just traveling lighter. um And I don't know, I've just had like small moments of gratitude around that recently.
00:33:04
Speaker
It's so true, but God forbid you forget their water bottle because mine let loose if you forget it. They're like, I'm thirsty. see what I do when we travel a lot of the, or when I say travel, I just mean like out and about, you know, not travel, travel. I usually just bring my giant one and we all drink on it together.
00:33:25
Speaker
No, they're not allowed to touch mine. No, really? No. Why? are they yucky? My kids are always yucky. They're in daycare. i'm not They're not touching my water. Oh, I feel like mine are pretty good. Evie sometimes I will not, if she's like active, obviously if she has food in her mouth, I'm like, no, you can't have any water until you're done with what's in your mouth.
00:33:47
Speaker
Plus, mine doesn't have a straw. I don't like drinking water with a straw. I'm like very particular. i can only. Oh, OK. Mine is like a straw situation. So I feel like it's easy for them to like sip.
00:33:57
Speaker
Huge Yeti. It's my comfort water. Understood. Which they both can drink out of, but rather not. That's just like the one thing I don't share with them. um I have two.
00:34:12
Speaker
And I'd say just like dinners outside on my patio every night. Now that the light is is on till seven. um And it's just like fun. We've been grilling out already.
00:34:25
Speaker
And just nothing makes me happier than like eating outside. And two, it's kind of on the same vein as like you not bringing like a lot of stuff with you. So everyone's been asking us because we threw that big Cinco Disco party like literally this time last year. Wow, that's crazy.
00:34:44
Speaker
And I just remember, you know, it was our first like party without the kids and it was an adult only party and the like excitement that fueled that party for all the parents because our kids were...
00:34:56
Speaker
What? Margot was like a year and a half at that point. So we all had like little, little kids. Graydon was three and a half. Now it doesn't like people are like, so when you have a party again? i'm like, well, i kind of feel like we do that every weekend now, like that our kids like don't hang around us as much. They entertain themselves. They're not hanging on us. I was like, I kind of like don't feel the need to throw a huge extravagant adult only party anymore. Like yeah we have that time as adults. And I was like, man, I never thought I'd get here again. But I'm like, wow, we literally have adult time all the time now that our kids just play. And it's just like a weird, you're like, well, if you think about this time last year, i was just like in a totally different headspace. And I was so craving that adult time.
00:35:50
Speaker
That's so great. i love that. It's a good, that's, that's like kind of the message we've been echoing through this whole thing is like, we're in such a good place, like with our kids, which I hope, I hope it doesn't sound to the listener like braggy or whatever. I genuinely hope it's like, if you're in a tough season and you have two under two, like your relief is, is around the corner. It's so soon. Like you're going to get to a phase and things are going to feel so good and easy again. So I hope that's how this is coming across.
00:36:21
Speaker
It just like, it is true what everyone says the whole time is things do get easier, but when you're there, it never feels like it again. i thought I'd be entertaining my kids the rest of my life. And now that I'm not, I'm like, wow, I really, we're here.
00:36:40
Speaker
and it's so nice. Yes, I get my alone time with my children and they talk to me one-on-one and say the funniest things, but it's like those little moments where you have the adults over. I'm like,
00:36:52
Speaker
I don't know. It feels really good. Yeah, it does. It feels really great.
00:36:57
Speaker
Okay, next question. Something that you're over. I know mine. You're so quick with these. Well, because it's in front of me. Okay. So something that I'm over is kids' TV shows and movies.
00:37:14
Speaker
I'm sorry, but we are in a rut. we're in a We're in a TV rut. You and I are on the same wavelength. I wasn't going to say that, but I've exhausted everything.
00:37:25
Speaker
I've exhausted. And I, to be honest, like nothing keeps their attention anymore. Like, I don't know. We're in a TV rut to the point where like, I don't even feel the desire to turn it on and they don't even ask for it that much anymore. I just am like, but then also the pressure is on me to like come up with some new activity or something, but I just am over everything we've
Children's Entertainment and Home Projects
00:37:48
Speaker
watched. We've watched everything a thousand times. Yeah.
00:37:52
Speaker
And i risk we are not, I don't really look like, we don't watch YouTube really. Like we don't, and that's the one thing I don't really touch. But I, everything on Disney and Netflix is, it's been done. It's been watched. We have seen it and I'm over it all.
00:38:09
Speaker
Yeah, we have exhausted it the same way. um Margo kind of and Graydon kind of like to watch the same things over and over, but I'm just like, wow, there's like nothing. And I remember like in the winter them watching TV a lot, which was the Grinch on just repeat. rins and repeat um But now that it's summer, we just are outside like crazy. And now that we're like involved in sports, we signed up Graydon for a swim team like thing. Oh my gosh. Benny will be so proud. and then Margo's starting gymnastics. So now baseball's coming to an end. Margo still has swim lessons and gymnastics. So now we're like switching to new things. um So it's just like, that's kind of keeping our nights busy because baseball was like two nights a week. Like it was just like busy. So we're outside and TV just isn't on the agenda as much anymore. Yeah. Yeah. um
00:39:06
Speaker
For me, I feel like this, I don't want to get in trouble, but it's like all the check-ins with work. I'm just over it. Like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I am a corporate girly. Like I love who I work for, but I'm tired of telling them what I'm doing every week.
00:39:23
Speaker
I'm over it It's like, this should have been an email. That's like, literally we we have a meeting on it, but then we have to report out bullet points on it and I'm like can you just AI record and make bullet points thanks yeah like they're yeah companies are not as efficient as they should be honestly just like I'm tired of telling you what I'm doing every day I'm tired of it and I love it it's not me hating on my job I'm just stop yeah just stop I get it I really get it I'm working I promise yeah
00:40:03
Speaker
Okay. Something you're loving.
00:40:08
Speaker
Okay. Me. Okay. we I am in a reno shopping house phase, which you know I dip in and out of, but it is full on send. I am full on We've like redone Graydon's room. So all I'm, I like went to frame bridge and got some art framed. Chris just ordered a new rug. We're on the hunt for curtains. So I'm like having so much fun styling Graydon's room and which is like boyhood, you know, like chips, obviously, because that's my thing. um But lots of boyhood, baseball stuff since he's into that.
00:40:46
Speaker
Margo's room's looking good. The bathroom downstairs is coming together. I've styled my new bookshelf. i'm like, I'm I need a new rug downstairs. i'm like, this is bringing me life.
00:40:58
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. That's a good. That's probably why on the weekend shopping spree of antiquing and estate sales because I'm filling my home again and I love it it's It's buoying you. Have you ever heard that term?
00:41:13
Speaker
Like mooring, anchoring me or something? No, it's like it's bringing you up. Like it's buoying you to the yes to the surface. Not anchoring. love that. Yeah, it's been fun. it What is mine? i don't even know. don't know.
00:41:34
Speaker
Anything that includes shopping for me, I'm just, it makes me so happy.
00:41:41
Speaker
I have an annoying answer. okay
00:41:47
Speaker
Is that even what I want to say? i don't know. Okay.
00:41:55
Speaker
What do I want to say? What have I been loving? Like, I mean, there's lots, I mean, there's like lots of random. Oh, I mean, I talked about this on the last episode, but the first thing that came to my mind when I saw this list was my new coffee I've been making at home. my my i shaken espressos, they bring me joy every day. And when we were sick over the weekend with like tummy issues, I couldn't have them for two days. And I was sad. i coffee yeah does Coffee does bring me joy. i Like,
00:42:22
Speaker
Yeah. I look forward to my morning one and my afternoon one. The other thing I was going to say, which I feel like is an annoying ass answer, because there's a lot of times on this podcast where I have probably said the opposite. But ever since Alice's parent teacher conference, I have been working with her letters, sounds, spelling or not spelling, like, you know, put sight words, whatever. i bought all these like learning activities to do with her. And that's kind of replaced a lot of TV. But when I just said I'm kind of over TV right now and they doesn't even keep their attention.
00:42:57
Speaker
I have been doing these like letter books and stuff with her and I genuinely love it. Like I feel like it connects us a teacher I know, which is like not me normally. Like I have no interest in any of that, but i it's been so good for her and I feel like she's in a better mood because like I've really connected with her during those moments. I will link if anyone is interested interested in the things I bought, if you have like a four-year-old that is like trying to learn letters and sounds and I've bought some really great stuff. I did a lot of research. Um, and when I picked her up from school last week, her teacher said, i can tell a difference. She is more confident and like, so yeah. So oh good job, Candace. Thanks. So I really have been like loving working on all the likes, like so like so school stuff for her. And every day I save, um,
00:43:52
Speaker
like a new activity or something to do with her. There's so many good creators online that post such good like learning activities. So if anyone's interested and wants me to share those, i definitely can. That's amazing.
00:44:03
Speaker
Yeah. So that's what I've been loving, which I feel like is kind of an annoying answer. but No, that is honestly like, yeah, post it because my teachers don't like really tell me any of that kind of stuff, like where they are with all of that. I mean, he'll sing it in the car and like mess up his ABCs here and there, but it's like he has the concept.
00:44:25
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if he knows the sounds. He sees a G and he'll be like, that's my name. He calls it, that's my name. If he sees a j Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've been working a lot with letters. Like we have this letter book where everything is Velcro. And so she matches the letters. Yeah. And I'll, instead of saying what letter I want her to hand me, I'll be like,
00:44:45
Speaker
what sounds like, and then she'll bring me the G and like, oh whatever we do, like sounds instead of just the letters. Cause I know she knows the letters. Um, so we've been doing that, but yeah, it's been, it's been fun to do. And like, I just feel like it's flexed a different part of my mom brain that I wasn't using very often, you know?
00:45:05
Speaker
And then you're getting congratulated from the teachers. So it's a win-win. It's a win i a super mom. Mom, gold star. Okay. Last one. Something that you've been avoiding.
00:45:20
Speaker
I'm always avoiding stuff. I'm a procrastinator. Honestly, that list for me is five, six things long. i For sure. I am the the world's best procrastinator. um What could I name? I'm like literally probably work best under pressure.
00:45:40
Speaker
i'll do it i'll do it I'll do a quick rapid fire list of all the things I'm avoiding. Okay. A bunch of them you already know. Giving up the pacifier, still avoiding it. Potty training Evie, still avoiding it. ah All of the closets in my house need a serious organize. Like I like I've actually you know what?
00:46:01
Speaker
I may revisit this idea like a month or two ago. I reached out to a couple of professional organizers and I was like, I'm just going fucking hire someone to do this because like I don't want to do it and it's just getting put off and it's making my life annoying. So actually I might revisit that and I never ended up booking anyone. But honestly, I've decided I could do that job. Like, please come to my house and do it. I hate it I really don't like it.
00:46:27
Speaker
But it's like funny because, you know, our best friends, Lauren and Chris, like they have a company where they hire out like home managers to do these things. and i was like, I could fucking do that job. Like ah that guy like to do that. I don't like to like clean the dishes. Like, please, no one hire me to wash your dishes. But like organizing a closet, I can't think of anything better.
00:46:50
Speaker
can't. Winnie, Winnie, I will fly you down here. Oh, darn. Just take a look at, like, here's where I here's where i struggle. I know i need, and if you're listening to this and you are a professional organizer in the Tampa area, please send me a message, and please.
00:47:07
Speaker
um But I look in my closet, and I know that I, like, need things to help me organize it. Like, I need baskets or something, but, like, I go on to, like,
00:47:19
Speaker
I don't know exactly what the thing is that I need. I need someone to tell me. Yeah. Like I, and then I go into the container store website and I'm overwhelmed or I go to Amazon and I'm overwhelmed. And so I just never end up doing anything. Oh my God. Take a picture of it with chat and say, what do I need to organize this closet?
00:47:37
Speaker
These are the things that are in it. And it'll tell you. right Wow. I'm going to do that. Oh my God. Wow. You just solved a problem for me. Wait, hire me. you Just kidding. Don't do that. um What else am I avoiding? I mean, the list is so long. i need i need some, I need new shoes for the kids. I've been like avoiding that. And every day I put on their shoes, I think I need to go through their shoes and figure out what what we need.
00:48:06
Speaker
ah I don't know. The list is endless. You know what I avoid on the daily is like what to make for dinner. i saying hate that feeling. I hate that feeling of not having something prepared and that I have to panic make something for dinner. I hate that.
00:48:24
Speaker
Yeah. Um, actually, i don't, I can't even think I've just feel like I procrastinate so many things. I feel like I've been like kind of on top of it this week, just because I'm going to Charleston next week for work.
00:48:36
Speaker
So I am, I got my checklist. I'm ready to go. But Chris like asked me forever ago what I wanted for Mother's Day. And then I like never told him. And then he was this man.
00:48:51
Speaker
He was like, do you want me to buy you a Mary Maguire, which is my favorite artist? And I was like, yeah yes I do and then he said pick something out and I never did yeah that was stupid and so then he picked something out for me so it's a surprise okay well that's exciting I feel like Chris knows you well I feel like he has good taste too he'll probably similar we've just like formed into one body at this point into one person yeah that's funny ah Okay, well, I feel like this was good.
00:49:26
Speaker
Good talk. Sorry, I went into therapy. I was going to say, I feel like this was like therapeutic. Like I feel better. I feel lighter. Every time I talk to you, I feel better.
00:49:37
Speaker
Yeah. Okay. Here's what we're going to do because i feel like we need some inspo for upcoming episodes. I'm going to post a question box about topics you want to hear about or topic. I actually might do two question boxes. I might do like, what do you want us to talk about? But then also like, what?
00:49:58
Speaker
guests we should have on topics you want us to talk about with a guest specifically because we get a ton of guest inquiries and some of them are like outside of our current phase of life obviously but we want to hear from y'all like what you want what you want from the show tell us what you want Some things like I feel like we get asked a lot about, which is hard. It's like um like how to do certain things, like how to drop the patsy, how to potty. Like I don't really want to do...
00:50:29
Speaker
that. agree because it's also like there's not right one way to do it. Like there's a bajillion ways, you know? Yeah. It's more like what's something that's on your mind that you're working through your marriage on or like, I don't know, like different things with your kids. Like how, I don't know, like how do you choose what sports your kids are going to I don't know. Something fun, not just like, what did you do to drop the Patsy?
00:50:55
Speaker
Yeah. Because don't ask me that because didn't do good. I mean, mine still has it in her mouth probably right now as we speak. So. Well, this has been fun as always. You buoyed me.
00:51:08
Speaker
You buoyed me. You boomeranged me. All right. Well, I love you guys so much. I love you. See you next time. Thank you so much for being a part of our mom group chat. New episodes drop every Tuesday. And don't forget, the group chat is blowing up on our Instagram page. So make sure you're following along over there. All right. Got to go. My toddler just put something in her mouth.