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EP 131: Parenting Chaos
2k Plays1 month ago
This week’s Mom Group Chat is a little chaotic… which feels fitting, because so is parenting toddlers right now.
Candace and Whitney get real about this season of motherhood where the toddlers are testing everything, patience is thin, tempers are short, and it feels like you’re one spilled snack away from losing it. Candace shares a real-time realization she’s having about how she wants to show up differently, even when it’s hard, loud, and overstimulating.
In true Mom Group Chat fashion, the conversation takes a HARD detour into Bravo land (because sometimes Housewives drama feels easier than our own). But we bring it back to what’s actually underneath it all: we love our kids, we want to be better, and we’re trying to lean more into positive reinforcement instead of constant correction and snapping.
If you’ve felt like parenting your toddler lately is really freaking hard, and you’re not always proud of how you’re handling it, this episode is your reminder that you are not alone. We’re in it with you.
We talk about:
- Why this stage with toddlers can feel so overstimulating and relentless
- That moment you realize you don’t actually like how you’re reacting
- The guilt spiral after losing your cool
- A very necessary Bravo tangent
- Shifting from constant “no” to more positive reinforcement
- Wanting to be better moms without expecting ourselves to be perfect
Keep up with the Moms and join the conversation on our socials:
📸 Instagram: @momgroupchat
🎵 TikTok: @momgroupchat
Questions/comments/need to vent? Email us at momgroupchat@gmail.com
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Transcript
Introduction and Podcast Dynamics
00:00:07
Speaker
There's no right way to do it.
00:00:12
Speaker
Oh, we're going to get into it. What up, moms? My name is Candice, and I'm here with my very stressed out best friend, Whitney. And this is the Mom Group Chat Podcast.
00:00:22
Speaker
Candice doesn't trust me to do intro after i fuck fucked up last time. No, so I do trust you. If anything, I'm the one who messes it up more often, I think.
00:00:34
Speaker
I was like listening to our episode um last week and my voice kind of sounded awesome. I kind of liked it. Oh, did you? i was like, ooh, I sound kind of cool. i My only thought about last week's episode was that your energy was different because you were... Oh, I wasn't like responding great. Yeah, you were so... I felt like that episode when I was editing, I was like, these people are going to be so fucking sick of me. It's me talking the whole time. you know what's so funny? When we were done with it, you were like, I loved this episode. It was so good. And I was like...
00:01:09
Speaker
i did yeah I think it was the episode before that that I said oh I don't know I just remember being like wow I had no energy and it really shows that I shouldn't have gone to the fucking gym no I literally when I was editing this I was like wow if any if that's anyone's first time listening to our show they would not get the energy of Whitney Williams it was so different which They would be like, wow, we have one girl that won't shut up and then one who like doesn't care to be there or like is quiet.
00:01:42
Speaker
i was. It was like you were talking and then I just didn't have a response. I was like, I'm not talking. I almost texted you last night when I was editing it because you were so quiet during the whole part about me talking about my tarot cards that I was like...
Episode Title and Content Reflection
00:02:01
Speaker
I started to question whether I should cut that out or like, or like if you were judging me or like, Oh my God. That I was like, Oh my, I started to get in my head. And then I was like, Candace, she was just sick. She didn't feel good. like i had a tickle in my throat and I was trying not to cough.
00:02:21
Speaker
I was really in my head about it. And I was like, wow, I need to like reel my overthinking thoughts in because I was like, yeah. Well, you're back.
00:02:33
Speaker
I'm back. Damn. I was going to say something else and you threw me off with the tarot. Damn. Sorry. I can't remember now. Oh, well. um Yeah, I'm back even though loved my voice, but the energy is back.
00:02:50
Speaker
Oh, good. I'm alive. oh oh I remember i was going to say, remember I'm so smart. um I was going to say that my friends, when they saw that it said like mom group trap drama, everyone was like hu excited. So it's going to be a lot of people's first episode, I'm sure because of the title. And I was like, Oh my God. Great.
00:03:10
Speaker
Nope. It's about Hillary Duff. I know it's like not about any of our personal due date groups or anything. It's the, the, um, title is clickbait kind of, it's definitely more celebrity drama.
00:03:24
Speaker
Well, it made me laugh. I was like, wow, that that did what it was supposed to do. Not that we were even trying that. oh No. but and But I was like, wow, I'm so glad y'all said that because that's
Health Challenges in Winter
00:03:35
Speaker
amazing. Yeah. Too bad I sucked in that episode, but whatever. i'm here That's okay. That's okay. We're back. I'm dying at you being like, yeah, you did.
00:03:46
Speaker
What? What do you mean? you were like, yeah, you weren't great. Yeah. Well, it's not. No, it's really not that you weren't great. It was just your energy was so different than normal.
00:03:58
Speaker
Don't catch me on a bad day, baby. She ain't the same. She ain't the same. You were different. You were so quiet and I felt like I was filling the space and I don't know. It's OK.
00:04:13
Speaker
um But we're back and feeling good. i also had a little cold last week, but it was short and sweet. Thank goodness for that.
00:04:26
Speaker
ah It's that time of year. i mean, I know. Just when I think my immune system like could conquer anything, I'm humbled. I'm like, no, we're still here. Even though my kids don't get sick much anymore, just because like bless up to what? Two years of daycare, a little less for Margo. But it's just like, wow, no, I'll still get things from time to time, especially when it has to do with
Morning Routines with Kids
00:04:50
Speaker
allergies. Yeah.
00:04:52
Speaker
yeah Yeah. That's like the worst part. My nose can't handle it. Thank you, mom, for those jeans. I don't have those. I don't think my mom does. Oh, my mom takes Zyrtec every single day. Yeah. It's been recommended that I do the Flonase spray like every day.
00:05:10
Speaker
But do I do it? No, I don't. Yeah. I feel like that, especially in Nashville, I feel like y'all have more allergy things than we do.
00:05:21
Speaker
Yeah, for sure. Like the pollen here would be crazy. Yeah. And we had like a little warm front during December and then it like snapped and got cold. And so then my wig got snatched and I got sick. And then it just happened again where it was like, and don't know, 50s, 60s. And then bam, it's going to snow this week. i'm like...
00:05:42
Speaker
Tennessee never knows what it's doing. Oh, my God. The whiplash. Literally, the whiplash. I, like, panic bought all this snow stuff for Margo because last year, if you've been following me for a long s time on Instagram, you would have seen Margo in Graydon's hand-me-downs. And it was all, like, massive on her. And her gloves were, like, the size of, like, a basketball man's hands. Like, the mittens were just, like, so big on her. And she looked, A little dude.
00:06:12
Speaker
And i was like, okay, now she's grown out of that. We're getting her some pink stuff. So I like panic ordered on Amazon, which is kind of like my thing. I don't like to buy expensive snow shit because they wear it for a year or less. And um it's like two or three times a year if it snows. And then...
00:06:32
Speaker
I was just like, I'm just going order it. And think we're supposed to get a lot of snow this week. So I'm excited. That's exciting. You'll have to send Alice a video because she is snow obsessed. I don't know like where that came from, but she is always talking about seeing snow and to see video of Graydon and Margo in the snow would send her in like rocket her into space. She would love that. Um, but also it's funny, and this is a good segue into the topic of this episode, but Alice is obsessed with snow and constantly asking to go to snow. Yet me dressing her for a 45 degree day here in Florida enough to like whittle her to pieces. And like, she, it's like the biggest fight of my life to get these children dressed for cold weather.
00:07:28
Speaker
Getting my children dressed in the morning in general has been like a really big struggle, like part of my day. It starts off my day on the wrong foot. And yeah it was like for two weeks there. It was pretty hard. i don't know. Something about this week shifted. But like every Monday, man, it is A freaking struggle.
00:07:52
Speaker
It's hard. It's so hard. And it's exactly what you said. Like it starts my day off on such a bad foot. Like I try so hard to like prep things in the morning or in the evenings and like to set myself up for success. And I was like, we're going to have a positive, good morning, a positive, good day. And then getting them dressed, it's like it all comes crashing down and i snap and Alice is having a meltdown. Evie's kind of just along for the ride at this point, but she, Alice is melting down. i'm melting down. And it's just like, it's Margo now. Graydon, we've like switched where it's, it's Margo.
00:08:34
Speaker
And I love that you said that you can prep as much as you want because so many people are like, wake up before the kids. um Like you can set yourself up. You can have the clothes set out. You can have like all the stuff you need in the car, like already in the car. You can,
00:08:48
Speaker
Be as prepared as you want, but it just depends what kind of mood they freaking wake up in. Margot like refuses to take off her sleep s sack for a good 20 minutes. We have to bring her downstairs in it. she She wants to unzip it herself. If you come near her, she's screaming.
00:09:06
Speaker
You have to wait until she wants to take it off, which I now bribe her with breakfast. She's like, I want a yogurt. I said, you can have it when you get dressed. So I'm like now withholding nutrients from my child just to make sure she will get freaking dressed. Otherwise, like if I go near her, it's scary. She'll start crying. yeah Yeah.
00:09:28
Speaker
It's so funny the like weird nuanced things they become like obsessed with. Like, like the sleep sack or I'm trying to think like Alice right now is like clothes with pockets dress. She only wants to wear a dress. If I even attempt attempt to put a pair of jeans on that girl, it is an all out SmackDown WWE.
00:09:53
Speaker
Like I, I, it's so hard to, because I'm such a jeans girl. Like I am. You're like, don't you understand? I'm like, don't this top and jeans on you would be so freaking cute. And it's she can't. I. Grades like that. If it's not like a jogger style pant, if you put on corduroy, he's like, why are you doing this to me? He does. And like a personal attack.
00:10:21
Speaker
They're like, how would you do? Why would you do this to me? It's like, but I don't know. Now that he rips holes in his pants like every other day, like, oh my God, I've got to find some pants that like won't rip. He likes to go down the slide on his knees. Like he's going to have knee surgery when he's like 15. But but He rips holes in all of his pants. I've ordered four packs of pants from like H&M, Old Navy, Gap. I'm like, which ones won't rip? Some of them are so thin. Don't order from H&M if your kids like to slide around because they be ripping. That's so crazy. You need like the pants. So I put on corduroy to punish the man.
00:11:03
Speaker
Yeah. Those don't rip. I going to say you'll have to put leather knee patches on. You know, those pants with like leather. I feel like that's like construction worker. You need to work pants.
00:11:15
Speaker
That'd be like a punishment to me. I can't do it would be That would be. What happened to my little preppy frat boy? Like he's now into leather? No, no, thank you.
00:11:28
Speaker
Um, but yeah, the mornings have been quite the struggle, but I will say, like I said, in the past two weeks, I kind of like flipped it on its head and i was like, what has been a contention of my day? And it's the morning. Cause I do it alone. As do you, a lot of us as mothers do when our husbands go into work. So I'm getting the kids ready by myself and out the door.
00:11:54
Speaker
I was like, Graydon is 100% old enough and capable to do this on his own. So creating that chore chart. Have I brought this up already?
Parenting Tools and Positive Reinforcement
00:12:03
Speaker
I can't remember. No, but I need this. So please share.
00:12:06
Speaker
Well, I started doing a chore chart because I was like, you know what? He kind of likes responsibility and he's i've he's shown interest in helping out around the house. So I was like, how can I like visually show this? And so I only gave him three, cho what I'm calling them, chores. One of them is to get ready on his own in the morning.
00:12:26
Speaker
One is to, which helps me, two is to buckle himself in the seat because this man loves to climb in the car and lollygag and run around. He likes to climb in the front and climb in the back. So, too So I said, you have to buckle yourself in the car or you don't get a star for that chore. So it makes him sit down immediately and buckle himself in. And lastly is putting his shoes in the basket when he comes home from school. Those are his three. It's not hard. It's not not achievable. And then he gets his star. And then at the end of the week, we will go to Target and pick something out.
00:13:02
Speaker
It worked like a charm last week. and even like got to do that. Even like if he forgot to do something and like I or forgot to put his shoes in the basket, like he'll take them off in the playroom and I'll go and I'll be like, hey, Graydon, where are your shoes? And he'll go, oh, I forgot. And he'll hurry up, grab his shoes, put them in the basket.
00:13:22
Speaker
Amazing. like It's working. It's freaking working. And it isn't asking a lot, you know? Yeah. OK, I have I have follow up questions here for the getting him himself ready in the morning. What does that entail? Is it just clothes? Is it brush teeth?
00:13:38
Speaker
And are you picking out his clothes the night before or what is what does that look like? It's just clothes because that's where I was struggling is he's a lollygagger. Like he will run around and play. He, I don't want to, he'll lay like a noodle. Like, and so i was just like, how can I just make that part easier? It's just one step at a time. It's not like do this, brush your teeth, brush your hair, do like, it's just clothes right now. Okay. um And wow, it has been such a game changer. And like, if he does start to lollygag, I'm like, I'm going to ask you one more time or you're not getting your star for this chore. And so he's like, I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. And so...
00:14:21
Speaker
I just had to like turn it around because yeah I'm like me yelling at him, me just like doing it for him is not doing anyone a service. So I feel like I'm having a real time realization as we're recording this about like just how I've shown up as a mom in the past two weeks. Like we've had a lot going on over here, like personally with my husband and like just a lot going on and we, everyone's fine. Like we're all fine. It's just been like a lot going on. And, um,
00:14:59
Speaker
I feel like I have completely stopped like positive reinforcement, to be honest. Like now that you are talking about this chore chart, I have like we have a star jar that we implemented for a while. and actually, Alice asked me last night. She was like, if I do this, can I get a star? And I genuinely thought to myself, wow, I forgot about that thing. Yeah. And I feel like, oh, I don't know. I feel like I went into this episode wanting to complain and commiserate about how awful my kids have been. And I'm just in real time right now kind of being like, okay, I think that I need to like have –
00:15:39
Speaker
hold some responsibility here to be like, I have probably not shown up the way that I would want to. And like, there are tools in my like repertoire that I haven't utilized. And I don't know.
00:15:55
Speaker
My mom i don't feel i is like, no, I don't, I not, I not that what I said would make you feel that way, but like, no, I, I had a happy that we're talking about it.
00:16:05
Speaker
I did the same thing. I was like, why is this so hard? What am I doing wrong? And I thought I'm doing myself a disservice by just doing the same thing I always do. Like they are learning, growing. They're obviously capable. I said, why am I just following the same thing and expecting different results when I'm not changing anything on my side either? Like I'm not teaching the fishermen to fish.
00:16:33
Speaker
So I just was like, I'm going take it one small step at a time. And I had the realization after one full week of hell, which what it felt like. And I was like, am I okay? I need to get on freaking meds because they are driving me nuts. And then I like flipped it around and it took a second, but then it was like,
00:16:53
Speaker
wow, just having Graydon, who's the older one, and like to be able to help himself, I'm like, wow, that that let me focus on Margo and to like calm her down and yada yada instead of like trying to tag team both. i'm like, okay, that that worked a little. It it's help it has helped.
00:17:11
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. i I need to do that. I have to like switch my It's like that definition of insanity, right? Of like if you're doing the same thing and expecting a different result, that's like where I'm at right now with a lot of like behavior stuff. We're dealing with like Evie has started hitting. Margo does that a little bit too. It's like, and it's out of nowhere. Like my mom will show up to pick her up in the morning and
TV Shows and Self-Care
00:17:38
Speaker
Evie will walk run up to her as if she's going to give her a hug and hit her instead.
00:17:43
Speaker
And we're just like, what? it Like, where did that come from? If her and Alice are playing, they'll be totally normal. And all of a sudden she'll just like hit Alice in the face. And we're just like, huh? I think Evie's still so young that she's just trying to like, she's, she's testing the field. And again, I know I've talked about this on this podcast before. It's like hard Because I feel like the way that we discipline Evie is a little bit different than Alice because Evie is still so young. And so Alice immediately tattletales Central. It's like, Evie hit me!
00:18:15
Speaker
And I'm like, she's right for saying that. Like, she is. And it's such a hard... like Which I don't think we even talked about that on the pod. I think we were saying it to each other. Candace and I had a side conversation of like disciplining them in front of each other and how it's just like a different experience. Like you don't go in as hard on the younger one, but then the older one seeing that and being like, how come they're not, they're not, they're getting away with murder basically yeah And I get in trouble, which that was like, now that I'm like looking back and I was the youngest, my whole life, my sister, and my brother, my whole life were like, you let Whitney do everything. She gets to get away with everything. And I'm like, thanks y'all for testing everything out for me because like yeah i am. um
00:19:07
Speaker
But you just, they have to learn like, I was telling Candace that Margo's, um I don't know, like Graydon's very motivated by TV. And if we like threaten taking that away, it's a motivator for him. Margo doesn't really have one. And I was like, I'm still in the midst of like trying to figure that out. like Yeah.
00:19:32
Speaker
Which isn't positive reinforcement. I mean, it's taking away something. Yeah. Yeah. I think Evie is, like, she is interested. Like, when Alice does get a star, she does, like, i she'll say star. I want to, like, she'll say I want a star. So I'm like, maybe I just need to get her her own jar and, like, we lean in.
00:19:55
Speaker
i don't know. Something's got to change. and I mean, it might work for Margot, too. Like, if you Like, don't fight me in the morning or struggle to get dressed. Like, that would change everything for me.
00:20:09
Speaker
Like, otherwise, she's great. It's just, like, getting her out of her clothes, and which we we went through this with Graydon literally up until this point where he's getting dressed himself. Like, I was just, like, chasing them around. It's, i don't know, not to make this all about the morning getting dressed, but, like,
00:20:25
Speaker
It was well that's it's just like our you sweating. i was already in fight or flight mode by the time I was in the car. And that is where Candice and I...
00:20:37
Speaker
start chirping off. The second we do- We release all of our demons about the morning on our drives back from school off. Candice is my person I'm talking to the second the kids are through the door. I'm in my car. I got that voice note on click and I'm like- ah This morning, we start rattling off about everything. it really is. It's like our it's like it's it's a part of my morning routine. It's like I get back in the car from drop off and like instant open Whitney's thread like let's let it all out. I honestly feel like I have to, or if not, I bring that energy like to, like when I sit down in my office to work, when I get back home, I'm like still thinking about how awful that morning was. And like, I'm like, Oh my God, I just want to sit down and watch heated rivalry. Okay. Like I can't even think about work. Thank God you watched it. Did you finish it?
00:21:35
Speaker
No, I haven't. I still am on episode four. So i don't know how you can take a break. I'm sorry. know how i don't have a choice because last night was the national championship game. And Vinny was like, we're watching that obviously. um And also Vinny's not going to watch that with me and I don't want him to. no I told, i was telling everyone.
00:21:57
Speaker
Everyone that's seen it, was saying like I was watching it in my living room and if Chris was like coming around the corner, I would change the TV and like hunch over like the hunchback of Notre Dame and be like, get out. No, literally when I was watching it here, when the girls were napping on whatever day that was, Vinny pulled in the driveway and I felt like a teenager like a kid whose parents just got home and I was watching something inappropriate. I was like... Like turning it off quickly. I was like, i'm like just what are you doing? And I'm like, nothing.
00:22:26
Speaker
Nothing. What are you doing? did the same thing. was like, I don't want you to know that I'm into this. It's just such a good show. And I'm like, okay, yeah, there's a lot that happens. But it it is a love story. And it is yeah so good.
00:22:40
Speaker
It's so good. wow I love it. I actually can't wait to watch. I should be able to. Like the work I have to do between now and 2 o'clock is like pretty like I can watch TV while I do it. So I might, might have to dabble.
00:22:55
Speaker
and It's just been like, get my head day so many, it's my hit of the cigarette, but, um, there's been so many good shows. not Now I'm changing the subject, but like, oh my god there's just been so much good TV. I feel like I'm back watching. I don't know. I take breaks of shows and now I'm like back in my little TV thing. I'm like, oh, so exciting. I know. I i have so much to watch, honestly. I want to finish Heated Rivalry. I want to start Tell Me Lies. Tell Me Lies. Oh, my God. It's so good. I'm behind on Southern Charm.
00:23:30
Speaker
i am, too. Chris has been watching that without me, which, I don't know, last season just wasn't that great. It's kind of like Summer House. It's like, ah. even though I'm liking this season more than last season, it I think.
00:23:46
Speaker
I think that the ah triangle between like Sally, Craig, Charlie is at least interesting. There's new faces in the game, you know? i mean, we're about to see like the breakup of Amanda and Kyle in Summer House. So it's like, which so I'm sorry, Amanda, but yay. Thank God.
00:24:07
Speaker
All I can think about when I saw that is the Taylor Swift lyric when she says, I'm pissed off I gave you all that youth for free. i feel like that's how Amanda probably feels. like I think she looks better than ever, though. Oh, my God. i know. she could get i Honestly, I also feel like Jessie a thing for Amanda. like If Jessie weren't in the mix of friends, Jessie would be all over that.
00:24:33
Speaker
I think. But he also likes Sierra. yeah He likes everyone. Who doesn't like Sierra? First of She is the hottest woman on Bravo. No, literally. Also, you guys. Sorry. Now this is like turning into a Bravo recap. I'm so sorry. We went hard left from parenting. We learned our lesson and we're moving on. Yeah. Be like, okay. So the takeaway is we're going to do more positive reinforcement. Now let's talk about Bravo. But but i And really, like, yeah i've I've caught feelings. Like, I have a crush, again, Wes.
00:25:10
Speaker
Well, he never left for me. I, his TikToks and his social media presidents, presidents? What the fuck am I saying? His social media presence is...
00:25:23
Speaker
Chef's kiss. Like i see, i see that man, you know, um I am obsessed. And I was like, wow, I can't wait to have him on my screen every week. He's so funny. And so like funny and goofy and like weird. I'm like, I find him attractive too. i would love being friends with him. I probably wouldn't.
00:25:44
Speaker
dabble in that but like I would I would want to be around him like he is like my type of friend group that I'm like I love you like I kind of feel a friend vibe I'm like I'm not attracted I've always liked him like when yeah ever that happened with Sierra and they were all like pitted against him I'm like I feel like I'd still be like oh no I miss you yeah i the only thing with him is I would die to see him in person to see how tall he actually is.
00:26:12
Speaker
How tall is he? going to look. I don't know. I feel like when you search it, it'll say something like six foot and there's no way, there's no way that man is six foot. gives to me. What are you thinking? Yeah.
00:26:23
Speaker
Yeah. I'm thinking like 5'8. Okay. Which like I'm okay i mean which like i'm five four That's not that crazy but
00:26:32
Speaker
no I don't know. um Yeah, he kind of looks 5'7", but also Jesse is massive. So is Carl. So it might be giving that he is small um point guard when he's actually six two or something. Yeah.
00:26:48
Speaker
Okay, isn't that like highly requested? oh it says height and weight. He's six foot. Yep. I knew it would say that. i But that's why I said I want to see him in person to see. like But who knows? Maybe he that's so funny. Fans estimate this based on comparisons with other cast members, noting that every male on the show is taller.
00:27:09
Speaker
Yeah. and And when standing next to Sierra, who is five nine he is taller. Okay. Okay. Well, that gives me hope. Not that I have skin in the game here, really. Wow.
00:27:21
Speaker
No, I'm not going to leave my family behind for Wes. Also, Sierra's giving 6'2 to me. Like, her legs are so long. Yeah, she's like, it's giving model.
00:27:33
Speaker
Like, 5'9 seems short for her. I don't know. Yeah. Like, I thought she was 5'11 or something. Yeah. I also love Summer House because Vinny really loves Summer House. And that's one we really get into together. Well, I'm like, how do people not watch this? Like, it's one of the best Bravo shows out there. Have you dabbled any of the new Vanderpump?
00:27:58
Speaker
No, but you said that it was better. Like, old. It's fine. Maybe you're talking about something else. Something else you were saying like is so good, like reminds you of old Vanderpump. Oh, I was probably talking about um Southern Hospitality. Yes. It's so good. Yeah. But that's, I haven't heard anything about that. That usually is back around the same time as Southern Charm, but I haven't like,
00:28:25
Speaker
seen anything about it um but they they you know they re-released vanderpump with an all-new cast like of like younger people and it is meh um it's something i've put on in the background to be honest but it's just these people are so also i just feel like I don't know. 20 year olds are like so different than when we were in our 20s. There's so much more like internet. I don't even know how to explain it. It's like such a different world.
00:28:58
Speaker
I don't know. Oh, yeah, that's so true. Like it's just like inviting a lot of influencers on Instagram. Yeah. And like everyone on there is like on OnlyFans and they're like talking about literally like every single person is like, oh, well, I'm ah I'm trying to become an actor and I work at Sir. And but most of my money comes from OnlyFans. I'm like, OK, you know, that's so interesting. Like, imagine you're at a corporate workforce and like say I'm there when I'm 50 years old, but then like that whole slew of people come through, but everyone has an OnlyFans, but it's accepted at that point, you know, it's kind of funny to think about like well everyone having one.
00:29:39
Speaker
I also think about if these people are like, especially some of the guys on there, like they are being so so, they're talking so seriously about becoming an actor. They like want to be the next Ryan Gosling or whatever. And I'm like, do you think that like any one is going to take you seriously after your ding dong has been all over the internet for purchase?
00:30:04
Speaker
Probably not. Or like joining reality TV as your foot in the door. I don't know if that's the way to go. Yeah. It's not giving serious actor. That's for sure.
00:30:14
Speaker
No, not my opinion either, but I don't know. ah Well, anyways, that was our little side dive. um This is what I do to escape the parenting struggles of motherhood. I dive into reality TV. Well, I think Bravo is out there for us mothers because yeah it is my it is my background noise. It is my lunchtime treat. I love to watch a little catch up on the shows during lunchtime, which I am loving Beverly Hills right now um because Rachel Zoe is on it.
00:30:46
Speaker
I love her. Always. I'm so behind on Beverly Hills and I go back and forth of like needing to go back and watch the seasons I've missed or if I could just dive in. because Just dive in because like ah you're caught up. You already know. And like, it's actually just, I started watching it again. I i think I missed last season, but it's like very interesting. The Kyle and the Maurizio drama. So it's just been good. And she like kind of finally admitted that she went less for a sec.
00:31:18
Speaker
Thank God. Just admit it I feel like in today's world, like, who cares? She said she's trying to do it to protect her. Like the reason the reason she didn't talk about it. and Yeah. and she It's for her which wishes. so And she seems like really like upset like she was in love with this chick.
00:31:38
Speaker
Damn. Yeah, it's crazy. It's crazy. Mm-hmm. Wow. Anyway. Well, it's very. Anywho. Love it.
January Challenges and Maintaining Structure
00:31:46
Speaker
I don't know. I just feel like in in a whole, like as a whole, these first two or three weeks of January have felt very hard and heavy like all around, but specific to my children's behavior. i don't know if we're just like still getting into routine or like school is still like, they're still getting used to like the structure of school or i don't, or like even,
00:32:12
Speaker
I don't know. And I know I've talked about it on here. Like we're entering, we are in Gasparilla season. Like the pirates are invading on Thursday and like, I can't even, if you don't know what Gasparilla is, it's like Mardi Gras here in Tampa, but like, it's all pirate themed. It's like the whole city is like, it's Gasparilla season. And this weekend is the Gasparilla kids parade, which we're taking the kids to this year.
00:32:38
Speaker
We are fancy because we It is the Chick-fil-A Gasparilla Kids Parade and Vinny's aunt owns a Chick-fil-A and so she got us like seat like we have seats at the parade which like is crazy. anything better than a Chick-fil-A parade? I don't know. Yeah. let's know So yeah so crazy. So we are fancy this year. So we have Gasparilla on Saturday and I just feel like we're still almost in like holiday event.
00:33:07
Speaker
you know, hoopla. And so, and I don't, here's the thing is like, I don't really want to so like, I don't want to take that away from them. I don't want to be like, we're not doing guests, but like, cause we need structure.
00:33:19
Speaker
So I think doing more of the positive reinforcement and like doing some of that is the right move where we can have both. Like we can do fun things and have treats and like whatever, but we also need to like implement some structure, but maybe just in a more positive way.
00:33:36
Speaker
Yeah, totally. i feel you. i like when you look back at episodes of last year, i was in the same boat with the kids. It's just this time of year we're stuck inside. There's nothing else to do unless you want to risk your life going to the science museum and catching the plague, which sometimes yeah is it worth it?
00:33:58
Speaker
I don't know. I don't know. Maybe, but it's just like you have to make those choices you something just feels like we're closed into a little box for some reason. um and we can do all the crafts in the world, but that lasts 10 minutes and then you're just a mess. And then we can't get outside because it's freezing. I don't know, this time of year has always been hard for us. And then yeah it gets warmer and the kids can play outside and go swimming. And then I'm like, Oh, we're great again. We're great. I know.
00:34:33
Speaker
We are like the cold. it It's crazy. Like, you know, it doesn't get cold often here in Florida, but it's cold. Like it was 37 when I got in my car this morning, which is laughable. I know we have some listeners in the Northeast. Yeah.
00:34:49
Speaker
Well, I have a client of mine in Pennsylvania and she was like, yeah, it's negative. supposed to be like seven degrees today and like feels like negative one. I'm like, okay, I'm a baby. um Anything in the 30s and below, I don't love. Like it was 17 this morning and I would still think 17 and 37 both feel like shit. It's great. Who cares? Who cares? I don't know. The cold is feeling like it it just feels ah like I'm ready for some spring. I'm ready for some, some weather that like is not super hot, but is like, we could be outside more, you know? I feel like, okay, I get it. January like gives you that break between the holidays, but it's like, I'm just ready to move into like Valentine's. I love, I love all that. And then it's, March where it's St. Patrick's Day. And then it's like, wow, we start to get the itch. Like St. Patrick's Day is usually like a little cold and rainy, but you can be outside. So it's like, dude, we're almost there. We're almost there.
00:35:51
Speaker
Like give us. we're so close. Yeah. And then we're getting into my kids' birthdays. Yay. Which will be great. Yeah. I'm excited. I can't believe Evie's turning two. It's so crazy.
00:36:07
Speaker
It flies by. The second one flies by. I um i was literally like looking at, you know, the nanette, the one feature that just like guts you is like tells you how old they are and then also sends you like the videos of them when they were little. In the bed and you're like, oh, my favorite time of day picking them up is so cute. But like my Margo's almost two and a half already. I'm like, that feels like such a jump between August and now. I'm like, how is she almost two and a half? Yeah, that's like those months are such a blur, like because all the holidays. So you kind of skip over that and then you're like, wow, we're over here.
00:36:45
Speaker
Yeah. God. It's so, it it time moves so fast. But yeah, I'm just ready for some spring weather. going to be, I feel like, well, it's funny. ive i I have said on here, like my new year really doesn't start till like mid January. I honestly feel more like new year energy right now yeah then i did three weeks ago. I'm like, okay, I'm going to start anew. I'm to do more positive reinforcement. I'm going to lean into the happy things. Like I'm going I'm entering anew. And honestly, all I had to do was come on here and yap with you. And now I feel rejuvenated because this morning I was like, wow, wow there's nothing better than talking to your best friend about all this and just bouncing ah ideas of each other. But, um, yeah it's still going to be,
00:37:31
Speaker
hard you know it's just like one of those things like um we just had mlk holiday and i was telling candace everything was great in the morning i was like my kids are being so cute they asked for snack i they gave me the space to make a snack plate which you know giving us a space in the kitchen is like a godsend yeah they weren't just like up my butt starving Um, and I used to think like, man, are they just not eating at school because they come home ravenous and like whiny and this and that?
00:38:02
Speaker
No, I fed them to their heart's delight. And when they were home all day with me and then they woke up from nap, boom, it was like, they came home from daycare. I was like, same um energy that I get. i was like, yeah, okay. I don't know what flipped the switch, but all of a sudden they were up my butt. They were starving. They were this and that. I was like,
00:38:20
Speaker
oh man this is daycare vibes right now like coming home from daycare um and I'm like oh man they must be so so sweet at school and I'm missing it which I was like dang hate that but But also we got to do what you got to do, you know? yeah. i don't have a choice.
T-ball and Positive Behavior Strategies
00:38:41
Speaker
It's fine. I will say we did sign up Graydon for a sport. So that's coming down. That's exciting.
00:38:48
Speaker
He's going to start T-ball in February. So, which it's a long program. um It's like, don't even know, three months maybe. Wow. Yeah. I'm just like, ah baseball is the one sport that I just don't love watching in general. It's boring. I mean, maybe I will if Graydon's in it, but I'm like, I hated it. Like when my boyfriend's like, I love it. And like him be a kid. Yeah.
00:39:14
Speaker
Is there anything better than a man in baseball pants? I was going to say, the baseball players are fine. That's my type. That's my type. Not me, like, jumping to when they're, like, in their 20s. I am not oogling on high schoolers here. Can I just tell you, ever since I watched Heated Rivalry, I feel like a dog with a bone. I'm like, like, I...
00:39:37
Speaker
Like, get me a I have a man. But, like, get me a man. You know what i mean? I don't know what. I'm, like, I literally feel like you just talking about baseball players. Like, tell me why my heart left.
00:39:49
Speaker
i need – maybe I need to get laid more. i don't know what is happening. But I am, like, heated rivalry is doing it for me. It's so good. Uh, but yeah, anyone in sports is very attractive. Candace and I are very into sporty Spiceman. Um, yeah, our type. Oh, also I will say like my husband, when he came out of the water and his open water race, he was looking so good. I was like, damn daddy. Damn. I'm also ovulating, which is probably part of this. Oh, yeah.
00:40:24
Speaker
Yeah. Like had crazy ovulation cramps. um I get that now. On Sunday. I was like, whoa, it was crazy. Isn't it weird? We've talked about it. How we know our bodies so well after having children. i'll I cramp like two weeks before my period and then I'm like, oh, I'm ah ovulating. Duh.
00:40:43
Speaker
My ovulation symptoms now are like so physical. Like I know I don't even need to test my ovulation. Like I know. Yeah, exactly. It's i know bizarre. and i still I know we've talked about this in the past. I want to have a cycle specialist on to talk about the different parts of your cycle and stuff. I think that would be such an interesting topic.
00:41:06
Speaker
Oh, I would freaking die to be on that. And she'd be like, girl, you need to go to doctor. There's something wrong with you Probably not. It's probably so normal. I think um postpartum periods do. Yeah, they're crazy. That's one of our most loved episodes. I still get messages about postpartum periods and people being like, wow, I feel so seen. They're awful. I felt horrible for a year. Like I, I like genuinely to this day, sometimes I feel nauseous when I get, I just don't feel good. Like for real.
00:41:39
Speaker
Yeah. It's crazy. I don't know. um But yeah, so here's to positive reinforcement. um Like I said, I've only been doing it with Graydon, but um maybe. Oh, wait, one more logistical question for you about the positive reinforcement. Is it like a sticker chart or what is it? I have a sticker chart. I i bought a board and a bought like theme stickers for every week to have different themes. Cute. Will you post them and link them?
00:42:09
Speaker
Yeah, I will share. Perfect. I will share. And yeah, we, we to show Graydon that it's possible. We, which he did a great job last week. We went to target and he picked out pajamas and, Mario got some for moral support.
00:42:26
Speaker
Whoops. But you know, that's what happens with us too. i I read him by myself, you know, but I had them both, but I think that'd be a special thing for him.
00:42:37
Speaker
Well, I read too that when you do start like positive reinforcement things, you want them to complete that first one like quickly and like easily almost so that they can like see the – they're literally like dogs. We're training dogs right now. they Like you want them to learn the reward so that they are more eager to like get the reward. And you can slowly make it like harder or like they don't get rewarded easily. But that first one, it's like so important. And honestly, we did that with Alice, but now I feel like I need to redo it. Like I need to like re, I don't know, like re-teach
00:43:14
Speaker
Exactly. And it can be small, you know? Yeah. It's helped. But yeah um if y'all are feeling the same out there, let us know. we yeah We're all in this together. Yeah.
00:43:26
Speaker
Yeah, we're all in this together. Love you guys. Love you so much. Bye. Bye. Thank you so much for being a part of our mom group chat. New episodes drop every Tuesday. And don't forget, the group chat is blowing up on our Instagram page. So make sure you're following along over there. All right, gotta go. My toddler just put something in her mouth.