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Episode 2: The Truth Under the Ashes
10 Plays1 month ago
Leslie sits down with Alex for a conversation that pulls back every layer of who they have become. There are stories of heartbreak, identity, and the fire that reshapes a life. Alex opens up about loss, reclamation, and the quiet courage required to rebuild from nothing but ash. It is vulnerable, powerful, and a reminder that truth often rises only after everything else falls away.
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Transcript
Introduction to Podcast
00:00:01
Speaker
Welcome to Don't Trip On Your Cape, the podcast where Leslie, the founder of Align Living and Leadership, and her amazing co-host Alex from Much Love, dive into the very things that weigh us down, only to reveal those burdens are actually our greatest strengths.
00:00:13
Speaker
Together, they help listeners recognize that what feels heavy is often just your own unique superpower in disguise. So grab your cape, and let's explore how to wear without stumbling.
Childhood Memories and Family Dynamics
00:00:24
Speaker
Welcome to this episode of Don't Trip On Your Cape. I'm Alex. And I'm Leslie. And today i am super excited to share with you and learn a little bit more about Alex's story. So let's just jump right in.
00:00:38
Speaker
So let's start with maybe a little bit of the background. When you look back in your childhood, what's one memory that captures the world you were raised in? The rules, the expectations, the tone of it all.
00:00:53
Speaker
ah One memory. um
00:01:00
Speaker
Probably going out in service because I was raised in a very religious family and um it was kind of everything that we lived around was that.
Questioning Beliefs and Internal Conflict
00:01:11
Speaker
That or the parties that we went to as a family both were because I'm a Hispanic and my mom has eight sisters and i have a million cousins. And that those two were like the dichotomies of my life, life in service, knocking on doors. From kindergarten, my grandma would pick me up and we'd go door to door after school.
00:01:30
Speaker
And um as I got into my teenage years, it was... I spent a thousand hours a year doing that. And the only other thing I really lived for was family and those get togethers that we would have, which were huge. We could fill any place just with our family. It took two houses when we all got together. So was kind of the economy
Traumatic Memories and Worldview Shifts
00:01:51
Speaker
of my life. yeah And you've spoken before a little bit about growing up inside a belief system that was, that defined what good and bad was.
00:02:02
Speaker
um When did you first feel the quiet knowing that something about that system didn't quite fit your truth? forever. i I've asked myself this question a lot because very important to me is catching things in the whisper, knowing things from the quietness and not needing the lesson to get too loud before I hear it.
Religious Teachings and Self-Doubt
00:02:30
Speaker
And my life was... very early on filled with whispers, maybe even shouts. um My first memory was my dad taking me with him to cheat on my mom.
00:02:44
Speaker
And that was a very loud, not just a whisper, but it was loud. And I was only two and a half. And from then on, I have a memory of my whole life. And I just remember thinking then something's wrong because my mom was crying and wailing and my dad was having all these things and I was hidden the whole time, but it made me start looking. And from then on, I thought i was weird because I noticed all these things and everyone was pushing them to side. But it the message in my world was pain and
00:03:20
Speaker
me
00:03:23
Speaker
Pain is not the perfect word, but any sort of, ah not torment either, but per prosecution is righteousness. And so all of these things about all of it was just, I was told, Satan trying to get us. And so in my world, whispers were not welcome. And then they became shouts very loudly and quickly. And it made me really not like myself, but it was forever. And I didn't know how to deal with it except to hate the whispers and hate myself until eventually I learned better. That's powerful.
00:04:00
Speaker
What did freedom look like before you ever experienced it? Yeah. That's a really great question.
00:04:13
Speaker
Because cause freedom is choice. It's being able to choose. But I didn't have choices. So choice, for me, what freedom would have been defined as a certain pathway.
00:04:30
Speaker
And so for me, freedom felt like a cage, but it would have looked... <unk> very different from my world now. I've thought about that too a lot as far as freedom would have looked like to my family, me married with kids and living, knocking on doors probably still, and having a very different, but freedom was really being able to be persecuted to be able to have that pain to know that I was righteous. That's what freedom really looked like. Pain was righteousness and
00:05:02
Speaker
good and that's what you were supposed to have.
Conversion Therapy and Choosing Self
00:05:05
Speaker
and So freedom was really a cage with a lot of locks with an open door but you couldn't leave.
00:05:15
Speaker
That paints a really poignant picture for me. that That dichotomy of concept versus the reality.
00:05:26
Speaker
So let's crack open the armor a little bit. You ready for it? Of course you're ready for it. Can you describe the moment that you realized you couldn't keep living the way you were told to?
00:05:44
Speaker
yeah There was a few, but... um when We can talk about this further at some point, but I can tell you a little bit. at When I was a teenager, i was um I went through some difficult times in my family.
00:05:58
Speaker
and um My dad tried to commit suicide, my brother had me put in a hospital, this stuff happened. And I was put in a solitary confinement conversion therapy. For nine and a half months, I had to be alone.
00:06:11
Speaker
And it wasn't exactly during that time, but the quietness of that time made me realize i could be alone and be okay and listen to the whispers. And I started to feel better in so many different ways that I didn't understand.
00:06:28
Speaker
and what the moment was actually when I went back and was allowed back in because Then I was surrounded by, because during those nine and a half months, I should say, i had to go and see all the people that I loved three times a week at church and be surrounded by them and be close to them. And the hardest part was hearing their voices and smelling their perfume and not being allowed to even make eye contact or anything or talk to them for all that time. So like you have this longing, this like, oh, what would it be like? I cannot wait for those moments. And then you get back and it's this
00:07:05
Speaker
hamster wheel of a cage again, and the whispers are now quiet again, and that you can't listen to them. And it's back to parroting all the voices. And I just realized I would rather be ah alone and wrong and bad, which is what I had been told.
00:07:23
Speaker
than not listen to my whispers. i It felt so much worse at that point because I had already lost everything. that i had lost everything for nine and half months. Everything I thought mattered to me.
00:07:35
Speaker
And then I got it back and I was like, this is worse. And then that's what I knew. And from then on, it took about couple months of me trying to figure it out.
Finding Self-Identity and Societal Expectations
00:07:45
Speaker
And then i i was homeless for two and a half years to get out. or about a year Actually, almost two years. of what but Yeah.
00:07:54
Speaker
That's a great segue to this next inquiry. What did courage look like in real time and not the highlight reel, but like the messy middle?
00:08:05
Speaker
That is a good segue because that's that was the hardest time was those two years was trying to figure out Because what I was trying to do was be halfway in and not break any rules, but also trying to figure out myself.
00:08:20
Speaker
And like being homeless is hard, not having things is hard, but then actually deciding i'm going to cut it off and I'm going to be the one to walk away. And I'm going to be the one to say, okay, I'm not good for you.
00:08:32
Speaker
That was the hardest thing because it was really accepting the label of I'm bad, other, whatever. And in our belief, Armageddon was coming any day. So what I thought at that point was if Armageddon comes and I'm not in, I'm just going to die. when it's just It is what it is. But I felt like death was better than that.
00:08:51
Speaker
And then when I left, the real courage actually had to kick in because... Now you don't know anything about anything except for what you were taught. And you have to find who you actually are in the midst of a world that actually is still trying to tell you who to be.
00:09:08
Speaker
And that was incredibly difficult for a lot of years, for a lot of years, because they say it takes 10 years to rewire your brain. So during those 10 years, I was figuring out different parts of myself and different parts of myself.
00:09:23
Speaker
And you would think that like, leaving my family and all that was the hardest part, but it wasn't. The real courage eventually came only about like five years ago when I figured out I had to step into being who I am on the outside as well. And that was hard too, because for so long, at some point I felt like I didn't fit in with the world either.
00:09:44
Speaker
it was also a shut in for a few years during that time, like I was in my late twenties. So the courage really looks like choosing yourself,
00:09:56
Speaker
and deciding who you are, but that was a really long battle for me because of where I came from and because who I am and where I came from are different ends of the spectrum and trying to find that person was the cur the thing that took me the most courage, but I had
Grief, Self-Love, and Growth
00:10:13
Speaker
to leave. Somebody left the cult with me. She was my best friend. we were together for a long time and when I left her, that was the hardest part because it felt like my...
00:10:23
Speaker
I had choose me or that was the last segment of that part of my life, basically. It's a long answer, but. No, it's a perfect answer. it brings me the inquiry of what did you lose in that moment that you had to grieve before you could move forward, before you could move into this expanded version of yourself?
00:10:48
Speaker
Everything. Yeah, there's there's different... I look at that section from when I left the cult. The last time I saw my parents, I was 21. When I started my transition, was 37, think.
00:11:03
Speaker
those years There are so many versions of me. there was And not just me, like groups of friends and people that i found, and I'd find parts of me in them. And then I would grow and be like, okay, well, that's not the right thing either. So grief was like a constant, constant thing of...
00:11:25
Speaker
You only have yourself at the end of the day, and it's hard to really know that and love yourself enough for it to be enough to find the right people. And it will only come partially. So I so i constantly was grieving versions of myself.
00:11:40
Speaker
along the way people along the way. and I think that that's probably one of the best lessons I could also give to another person, because there are so many people that you love and that love you, but you have to love yourself first and you have to like yourself and like the people around you enough that you keep growing. And sometimes outgrowing those things. And some of those people are going to be the closest people that you thought you were supposed to have the whole time. Like, you know, I had my family, for example. If I had not had the courage and the ability to grieve them, that would i would still be there. But that grief is also
00:12:23
Speaker
such a gift. It's such a gift in that it gives you back to yourself. You give you back to you instead of the parts of you that you gave to them and and the parts you give yourself along the way. And so grief is a constant. It's been constant for me since then, but it's also been I think of mushrooms. I can't help but think of mushrooms with everything, but mushrooms are what regrows from anything, any decay. It will make life anew from it and make it beautiful again. And even in my case, the mushrooms I grow make it spiritual. And so, you know, the grief to me is is lessons in spirituality. And every part of me is a part of all of that grief and all of those people and versions of me that I found along the way.
00:13:09
Speaker
I think especially this being human, grief is such a part of our, it's such a part of the human condition that so many of us reject because it hurts because it's sad because it, it doesn't,
00:13:24
Speaker
feel expansive, but there is such a gift in being able to embrace that part of our experience and and truly see that when we grieve the the loss or the the absence of something in our lives, it's ultimately creating space for something new to come in, right? The universe doesn't like a vacuum. And when we reject that that part of the process, we we cheat ourselves out of creating that space. it's
00:13:57
Speaker
you You said it so perfectly. So let me ask you this, did you ever mistake awakening for rebellion? And how did you learn the difference?
00:14:10
Speaker
I love your questions. Also, you know me very well. Yes, that's a big... I mean, that i said it earlier, I didn't leave because I thought I was awakening. I thought I was bad and other and wrong. And and that is on honestly until the last probably five years, maybe even three years, kind of been a part of my story because it was what was given to me and what's all often given to a lot of us. in this world of rules that we live in and structure. And I was never made to fit a mold. i realize that now I was made to be myself. And part of being myself is moving things forward and finding new ways and
00:14:55
Speaker
That may seem rebellious to a lot of people, but it's just me. It's just who I am. And I was never made to live in the confines of the cage that I was born and raised in. And a lot of people aren't.
00:15:10
Speaker
there are a lot of people that I think of in that world that
00:15:16
Speaker
Particularly one of my best friends that ended up not leaving and didn't make it. She took her own life. um I know that it would have been seemed rebellious to her to leave instead of she was one of the people that awakened me the most. She was the only person when I left and said I'm leaving and told people I was leaving didn't say you're doing something wrong. She said, I love you and I will always love you.
00:15:42
Speaker
and never had any judgment. And that was so contrary to what we believed. And so rebelliousness was constantly what I felt. And I still sometimes feel like that, but I've kind of adopted that label. It's like, yes, i am and I am. And probably because of the the question that you asked, to me, rebelliousness often feels like you just figure things out first. You just know things before other people do. And that's okay. And sometimes...
00:16:09
Speaker
And that is exactly what awakening is. like But sometimes other people aren't going to get it, and that's okay. And you just have to keep following your path and being a little bit rebellious, especially in this world where people have a hard time standing out. And I think it's fair. like There's a lot of quote-unquote cancel culture or you know a lot of magnifying of our mistakes. But I think we just need to own all of that and say, like...
00:16:34
Speaker
You know, part of growing is making mistakes. Part of growing is being at the front and doing things the right and the wrong way and and just talking about it. And rebelliousness is a part of movement progress, but it is how we awaken. So that's a great question.
00:16:51
Speaker
Yeah, obviously, I've looked at your human design, Shara, so I know a little bit more than maybe some of our listeners, but ah that that individual circuitry, that leaving the tribe to go do something new that hasn't been done before, that ultimately the tribe will see the change and the difference and bring back to the smaller community and then and then multiple tribes will see the benefit of that thing and it will transform the
Rediscovering Trust and Inner Voice
00:17:20
Speaker
collective. But in that process of trailblazing, right?
00:17:24
Speaker
Doing the thing that hasn't been done before, it can it can feel lonely. It can feel really isolating. Extremely. So in building your new self, after you left that world that you were in who were you before you knew who you were? Mm-hmm.
00:17:45
Speaker
its there's The version of me that everyone saw that that I projected, the what I call a mirage that I built so that I could project it in front of me, um was her and this is in my book, I'm very open about my my life and i what we call dead name in the trans community, but I was born as Tiffany in that she was extremely bubbly, extremely gregarious and outgoing, and never, ever didn't smile, ever. That was like a rule of mine, because then the mask would fall, people would want to know what's going on.
00:18:22
Speaker
um
00:18:24
Speaker
rebellious, unfortunately. it was always known. I've laughed at this is about you, but like people knew that they could drop their mirage with me. If we were one-on-one, they knew. That was always a part of who I've been, and I didn't mean it.
00:18:40
Speaker
I don't know how it actually ever happened, but that was always a part of who I am on and one on one-on-one people that would always be different with me. And I actually thought when I was young that something was wrong with me. so I called myself a guilty pleasure because I'd be like, why do they only be this person when we're one-on-one? It felt very conflicted to me.
00:19:01
Speaker
And, but then we'd all put our masks back on and I kind of got it. And I got older. It was like, oh, I was their safe place. It was okay. But so that's a part of my, my, who I was forever. But the person that I outwardly followed rules, never did on that. I always had my my side life, but outwardly extremely religious as far as, by the time I was 14, had gone as far as you can as a single woman in the church.
00:19:34
Speaker
So extremely, extremely um zealous or whatever you want to call it in that way. But it was ah also just trying to be good, meet rules, so that I could have measurements to say. And I was, a you know, I skipped grades in school, so I was smart. And so that was part of the Howard thing. But then as I got into the world, that was kind of what I carried into, I'm smart, I can do things. like And and not as gregarious, that started to drop away. And it started to be, eventually I was very depressed, very quiet. And eventually I didn't talk at all. There was a long time where people were like, you never talk. and It was kind of the opposite. But that was partially because I started to realize I didn't want people to look at me because I was in the wrong body.
00:20:22
Speaker
So I had very, very different worlds as I started to figure out dropped the Mirage, but then I didn't know who I was. so there was... until I finally figured out who I was. And then soon as I had my first transition, it was kind of funny because everybody's like, you talk now. trans but I was like, oh, I didn't even... had I hadn't realized it, but like...
00:20:44
Speaker
ah My biggest way that I was seen was online. And online I talked all the time, but it was on um World of Warcraft is what I played. And so I had characters and I always played boy characters. And so it was easy for me there to be seen, but it was mostly typing a lot of times before people would hear my voice. And then I would just tell them like, yeah, I know I'm non-binary or whatever. So it made it a lot easier.
00:21:06
Speaker
But first they met me that way. So had a lot of different characters that I played until I finally found myself. But in the world, there is two two of me, the church religious version and then the depressed, sad version. And then finally me.
00:21:26
Speaker
And the world sure is better now that finally you have shown up for sure. So you spoke a little bit about this, but how did you begin to rebuild trust? Not just in people, but also in your own voice.
00:21:42
Speaker
Yeah. has That's a hard battle. It's a journey. um
00:21:50
Speaker
Whispers is always what I go back to, learning to trust the whispers. But that for me was... So I learned that pain is not righteousness.
00:22:01
Speaker
Pain redirection. Anytime you meet pain, that is an inner voice to yourself saying, wrong way, turn around, or there's something about this you need to look at, or you're being triggered or all of that. So it started for me eventually um And I'm going to probably talk about her for the rest of our podcasts forever, but when Linda died, the person earlier, um everything changed for me. I have i have cried. i had cried very hard a few times in my life since then, like when my brother got put in mental hospital one a couple different times when really hard things happened.
00:22:37
Speaker
But when Linda died, I did not know how to stop crying or breathe. It was this wailing that I did not know could come out of me. And every question I ever had about everything started to finally come up.
00:22:52
Speaker
And the questions were, what matters? you know Is there anything out there that cares about us? is like All the spirituality questions. And I started to dive into...
00:23:04
Speaker
a lot of spiritual books that are now, you know, some of the things that are most important to me. Conversations with God, Eckhart Tolle. consider now things like Brene Brown's Spirituality as well, but like a lot of stuff that Oprah put out and and with other people like Panash Desai as well.
00:23:22
Speaker
But those people started to talk about that inside messages and the whispers and put names on it and help me start to understand a lot of the pain I was going through was because I wasn't listening to the messages. And i really had to go back to my own pain over and over and over again. And mushrooms have been my greatest helper with that because they will take me to my pain.
00:23:47
Speaker
with love and kindness and a gentle hug and say, all right, we're gonna look at this, but you're not alone and and help me through a lot of that that stuff. But to trust yourself, it is making mistakes and seeing if things work and if they are painful. But more importantly, starting to trust the joy that you have and that it's not wrong and that what is meant for you can't miss. That's, ah you know, something that I learned from you. But I i say it all the time because And this is something i learned from spiritual books too, but I believe that the dream you have for yourself is the same dream the universe has for you.
00:24:25
Speaker
You cannot dream a dream unless the universe has also dreamed it. And so if you believe that and you trust in that and you start following that step by step, that joy, that is when you really start to trust yourself. But first you have to look at your pain and start getting away from those things. Because for me, my entire world is pain. And so when you look around your entire world and go, well, what is joy?
00:24:47
Speaker
You cannot even look at it. It's not even a thing for you often to begin with. That cannot be where you start. it just, for most people, it's not. It it has to be, that hurts. Okay, do less of that.
00:24:58
Speaker
Do less of that. And then the joy will start to creep in and you can start to do that. and And hopefully people aren't where I was in the very rock bottom depths of despair.
Transition and Self-Acceptance
00:25:07
Speaker
It's literally not knowing what joy looks like because those possibilities are not even open to you to think about.
00:25:14
Speaker
but yet trusting yourself is about you know getting rid of pain and following joy it's simply how to say it but it's not that easy yeah simple is definitely not always that easy um i know and when i get to talk about when i'm when i'm honored to talk about people's pain um you know i've been taught and now teach it's our cue and our clue to where we need to realign and so often we don't use that feedback that way. And then we feel like we get stuck in it.
00:25:47
Speaker
Right. What was the first, um, moment that made you think maybe I'm not broken. Maybe I'm becoming,
00:26:00
Speaker
I wish it was earlier, but it took a long time for me. it really did. i felt broken for so long. And it was when I looked in the mirror after my first transition transition surgery. i had top surgery. And I had known forever i had wanted that. Like, even if I had thought I was a girl, I didn't identify at all with that. I was like, fine, but I don't like this. But forever. And when I looked, by then I had been on hormones for...
00:26:28
Speaker
six months, I think. So it wasn't that long, but it was enough that things had already started changing for me. I'm very grateful that my transition has been very, very nice in that my outside has come out very quickly. Um, but as soon as I looked in the mirror,
00:26:46
Speaker
It was the craziest experience of my life. Like I had had other experiences where I had felt joy and spirituality as far as like in meditation. And I had felt the oneness of the universe and knew what to look for on mushrooms. Absolutely. I could feel it, but never just looking in the mirror at my life. It was never a thing for me ever.
00:27:08
Speaker
I wished it was, but it was not. And that first day when I looked in the mirror, I went like, it sounds so funny, but I was and I swear to God, it went back, it did the same thing back to me, but not at the same time. It was like a delayed reaction. And at that moment, I had like this download from the universe and like everything I had ever been through made perfect fucking sense. It was like,
00:27:31
Speaker
Oh, and it was instantaneous and years long in a second. Like, yeah it was so much in that moment when I looked in the mirror and was like, I get it. Like, I get everything.
00:27:43
Speaker
And that was, it was like two months later when I was like, right, I'm going write all this down and start the book and and all this stuff. But that is the first time I felt joy because it was, I was myself.
00:27:55
Speaker
And I had never been me, never saw me looking back at me before. And even now when I look at those pictures, I was like, I don't look like me at all because that was also now four years ago. And I've had such, so much further, but it was just the tiniest glimpse. And it was enough to know like, I am doing this thing. And everything changed from there. was in a relationship. I knew that this was not going to work. Like I had leveled up overnight.
00:28:21
Speaker
Everything I had ever been through was just click. And it it was, it was beautiful. I will never forget that moment. think you speak to something really powerful that I imagine a lot of our listeners can can relate to which is change feels like it can take so long to happen.
00:28:43
Speaker
But in reality, it happens in an instant. And that time before that instant feels just impossible to manage it sometimes.
00:28:56
Speaker
But it really is when we step into our power and we and we do it from a place of authenticity. It's a moment. It's just a moment. And once that moment happens, once we live that moment, we're forever changed.
00:29:12
Speaker
And it's- The lights went on. Yeah, it's it's powerful for sure. We've talked about that too. You can't turn the light on for someone else, but once you know on, like can never not know once it goes back out and it's never gonna, you can't, like it's not a thing anymore.
00:29:29
Speaker
It's so crazy to when it happens. amazing to have that point of reference for us, for ourselves, right? it's It's one thing to see it in another person, but to really have it for yourself is, it's a game changer.
00:29:40
Speaker
a So what's been the hardest part about rewriting your story while the world still sees you through an old one?
00:29:54
Speaker
Outgrowing people. It is definitely a thing that happens and Even within my transition, it's been interesting to watch other people's reactions and um discomfort at times throughout the experience because of me me loving myself and them not understanding.
00:30:16
Speaker
Even one of the people that I knew the longest were not friends anymore because she just genuinely cannot understand. And I've had people straight up tell me to my face like, oh, I love you. But also like when it comes down to it, they can't make space for me in my their life because they're friends and family. Can't really have space for it. And that's a hard thing to really go through over and over again is knowing that as you grow, not everyone else grows and the space you make for yourself isn't always the space that the world is going to make for you.
00:30:52
Speaker
And so you have to always be the one to know in your center who you are and what's important to you and that the world will catch up eventually. There's a a there's a really good, I can't remember, the theory of diffusion of innovation, I think is what it's called. Simon Sinek talks about it in one of his talks on Ted.
00:31:13
Speaker
um And he talks about how there's like 1% of people are at the very front and then 5% of people behind them. But then there's like the massive middle and it takes 15% get that hump.
00:31:27
Speaker
get over that hump and Once you hit, I think it's 15%, I think it's fifteen percent it might be a little wrong, we can look it up, but somewhere around there, then the the massive part of the collective will come along. But then there's always 6% laggards, always. And 6% is more than the 5% it takes to start the thing. So there will always be more people that do not want to move ahead no matter what. He said in the in the video, these are the people that don't get new phones until their model literally can't be supported anymore. Like, like that's how far they don't want to go ahead.
00:31:58
Speaker
And, you know, there's room for in society for for all of it. You just have to know where you are. And especially if you're at the front, be very aware that that road is lonely often. And you have to find your tribe, but you have to find yourself first. And your center, for me, what I've learned, it always has to be in the universe, always, because that's your ultimate collaborator that will bring you the things that you need. Like you said, the universe doesn't like a vacuum.
00:32:26
Speaker
But then discernment comes in, and it does not like a vacuum, but also... There's more, uh, what I would, more unaligned things than aligned things is I guess the best way to say it, that usually come into your awareness most of the time, because not everything is aligned for most people. So you have to have that discernment that when there is a vacuum, that space, you know, do not fill it too fast. And for yourself, that is what will keep you going forward is having the right people around you that are either also moving forward or else keep you going and knowing that it's not going to be lonely once you find those right
Advice on Inner Voice and Self-Love
00:33:05
Speaker
people. But knowing sometimes it is, and that's okay too. Yeah, that's it.
00:33:10
Speaker
I think I answered the question. Absolutely. So... If we were gonna talk about reflection and lessons that you've learned already, if you could speak to someone still trapped in a belief system that keeps them feeling small, what would you want them to hear first?
00:33:37
Speaker
Their inner voice. and It's a i I don't believe personally that, um a lot of the things that we do and live serve most people most of the time. And I don't think that that's on purpose. I think that's on accident. And I think most people are cultured to stop listening to those whispers and that inner voice.
00:34:04
Speaker
And so probably I would start to try and get people to understand that they have an inner voice and start to listen to that. Because there's nothing that I can say that I would know that's right for someone. That's The truth of it, for everybody, only you know who you are. And that is the gift that when you do, you can share that with us. And so you have to be able to listen to your inner voice.
00:34:28
Speaker
But it's not easy. And like we said, it talks in whispers, especially at first. And, you know, your inner voice will start to throw bricks at your head and shout and shout. make the whole world crumble around you if you need it to. But that is where the pain comes in and we don't want you to have pain. So for me, so many people come to me.
00:34:49
Speaker
i love my job. It's my favorite part of my life is that people come to me and they tell me everything they're going through, good, bad, ugly. Most of the time, if they're coming to me, it's not the good. It's the bad and the ugly until a few months later when we get to the good. because of the things we've worked on. But the thing that I always try and get them back to is, what do you feel? What do you really think? What do you really need? Is that an outside voice or an inside voice? Because there's two kinds of pain and there's two kinds of love, inside and outside. And this is the most important lesson I had to learn. And it's easy in my case to illustrate it because like, outside love was, you know, all the things I did in the cult to get that love. Measurements. And you know, people loved me, but I could not feel it because it wasn't actually for me. i was for Tiffany. And secondly, i didn't love me.
00:35:43
Speaker
But inside love It does absolutely everything. And there is not a thousand million, billion, every person on earth could love you. But if you don't love yourself, you're not going to feel it. Whereas if you love yourself, none of them can touch it. That's the thing. That's nice that you love me. I love me. Have a nice day. It's just a very different feeling. inside pain and outside pain are also the same. 100 people can hate you and it doesn't hurt at all if you have inside love. But if you have inside hate and 100 people love you, obviously it's the opposite. And so for me, giving people that tool of inner voice, because everything around them is going to cause them inner pain or outer pain, inside love or outside love. And that is a dichotomy that I try and get people to measure everything by and then not judge, oh, now being rebellious or bad or wrong or whatever if something that's causing me inside pain not right for me so their inner voice is a long answer to question is that's what I would try and get them to listen to their inner voice I would tell them about that I love that you spoke to it a little bit already and in human design we talk about know alignment and knowing yourself and knowing your unique My teacher teaches we're each a unique once in a lifetime cosmic event. And that's an expression of alignment. And then being human comes with conditioning, right? Those outside stories, those outside expectations, those pressures.
00:37:19
Speaker
and And in human design speak, it's it's like it's called the deconditioning process. But I've started calling it the reconditioning process because we're never going to step away from the conditioning field. It truly is part of being human.
00:37:32
Speaker
But how do we align with the conditioning? Is it from ah from a source of inside love? right That's the reconditioning part. Or it's that those outside pressures, which are not us. right and to To your point, it's a binary. It's either me or not me And that doesn't mean that those things can't coexist in harmony, but when they feel separate and isolating, I really aspire to help people to your point, listen to what's, what's me, what's true for me, what's real for me, what serves me. And you, you speak to it so eloquently.
00:38:09
Speaker
you So what did forgiveness look like and who did it start with?
00:38:17
Speaker
It looks like love.
00:38:21
Speaker
you you i i personally believe you have to start with yourself because i think you want to forgive other people. But again, if you don't have that inside love, you can't give it. For me, it started...
00:38:36
Speaker
I started trying to figure out my family a long time ago, especially even before I left. I found the MBTI, the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. That was one of my first tools I started to try and use to measure myself in the world.
00:38:49
Speaker
And forgiveness came in when I started understanding myself first and then others around me and figuring out if we were aligned or not. But they i there's this thing, it's like, please, thank you, please forgive me, I'm sorry, i love you, something like that. think I got it all right. And the first time I heard that, I thought that was really... um irritating to be honest with you because I like why do I have to say sorry these motherfuckers sent this shit to me like I was I was not all about it like it was really irritating to me the first time I heard that because I was like that's what forgiveness looks like huh and I had been hurt a lot by these people a lot
00:39:34
Speaker
But again, after i looked in the mirror, i was like, oh, they were hurting me. They were hurting me at all. They were hurting them the whole time. And that hurt poured out over to me because they have inside hate. and i mean, inside pain. They have no inside love. And that's all they have. And when that's all you have, that's all you have to give. It made super sense to me. But I could only make sense of it that moment that I had love. it clicked. I was like, I love me. Oh, I wonder why you couldn't. And so forgiveness, I could say sorry to them too. wanted to, say that's why I brought that up. It was easy for me to say, I'm sorry that I could not also be what you needed because I wasn't.
00:40:15
Speaker
And, and looking back, I also saw I was not, and, and, you know, the best way to say it is I was not as always as charitable to my parents as I could have been, as always kind as I am as a human. And the reason for that was, you know, I judged them by the measurements they gave me, which made sense. But that's not who I am. That's not the judgment I would have given. I would...
00:40:39
Speaker
i wouldnt would beg anyone's forgiveness that I didn't get to show up as the false version of myself. And I also didn't get to love them as myself. So forgiveness looks like knowing who you are and knowing what you would have looked like in those situations as well and knowing you didn't do what you needed.
00:40:56
Speaker
But also, like it's okay. You all did the very best in that moment, when you could, how you could, and we all get what we need from it. That's one of the beautiful things of the universe. I go back to mushrooms.
00:41:09
Speaker
Even when we get trichodermia, which is the most common contamination, trichodermia is the best plant food in the world. It's So we can just use it for a different purpose. So even when we get contamination in our lives, it's probably a lesson.
00:41:24
Speaker
and And in that way, forgiveness also comes with getting the lesson and and knowing that even when I did something and wasn't the best version of myself, it probably gave them something they needed to.
00:41:36
Speaker
Absolutely. i love that you brought up hope, hope, hope, hope, hope, hope, hope, hope, hope, hope, hope, hope, hope, hope, a
00:42:08
Speaker
I created the space for that to land in that way. And to your point earlier, when we no longer create the space for that, it's not about anyone else's actions.
00:42:21
Speaker
And I think the whole foundation of that that idea is, yes, we're in relationship and yes, these words have meaning to other people, but they're really for ourselves.
00:42:33
Speaker
Yeah? Absolutely. So how has learning to love yourself changed the way you see divinity, purpose, and truth?
00:42:46
Speaker
i love I love these questions. ah so So much. um Love is the most powerful force in the universe. I mean, we hear that. It's true.
00:43:00
Speaker
but I think love is easy in some ways as far as Often we can love people that hurt us. Often we can love things that aren't good for us. it's It's like, and we've talked we talked about this actually very recently, that you have to kind of start with is um liking who you are, liking the things around you. And like is...
00:43:25
Speaker
somehow harder to say, like, because love feels unconditional, and it's supposed to be unconditional, and like is very conditional, and that's kind of just how it is, like, and so is it for me, that love starts with understanding love is unconditional, the universe is unconditional, spirituality is unconditional, everything in the universe is massive there for everything there is an equal and opposite reaction you can do anything you want but you have to start by liking yourself and and and understanding that because the universe is in my experience
00:44:02
Speaker
a collaborator with no conditions. So if you believe that it is going to give you negative things, it will make space for that and it will collaborate with you in every way possible. so I think really spirituality and divinity and real love is understanding that we are the the creators of our own life and we we can create something better and new and and being that human being with love is about
00:44:33
Speaker
orienting to the things that we can do better and that we like and not focusing so much on the negatives because what I've learned about all of this is we can amplify anything and especially where I came from I was taught to look for everything negative and everything bad and all of the pain, and we created it on purpose with purpose.
Connection and Spirituality
00:44:58
Speaker
That's what we did. And you can do the opposite, and the universe and love and unconditional power will collaborate with you.
00:45:08
Speaker
And I think that's the thing I've learned the most about all of it is... we are so powerful and we can create what we think love looks like.
00:45:18
Speaker
It should start with things we like. That is a good prescription. So when you strip away all the language, all the words, all the meaning from religion, identity, success, what remains sacred to you now?
00:45:40
Speaker
lots of things. Um,
00:45:44
Speaker
connection is the most important thing to me, uh, in any way. First connection, obviously with yourself where you can show up authentically. Um, but then connection with the universe, but then we're all the universe. So being able to connect with other divine beings that also know they are the universe and, and, uh,
00:46:04
Speaker
that divinity and in and of all of that is like the most important thing to me in my life, being able to see that. But there's so many things like, you know, mushrooms and tarot cards and I have a morning ritual and ah kind of try and live my life that way. And knowing that we live in a world where
00:46:26
Speaker
we're full of spiritual, it's full of spirituality and meaning. And what we give to it is really the meaning, but we can create so much. But my favorite things is connecting, connecting. And in the tarot card, there's a card in Thoth deck that I use, and it's called Lust. And know what it is, is that the divine lusts for all of us to know we are one and we are also divine and that the only consciousness is divine consciousness. And I feel like that is like one of the most beautiful things I've ever thought of. And kind of how I look at life is all of it is divine and we all can know it and be it now here today.
00:47:08
Speaker
Love it.
Recognizing Strengths as Superpowers
00:47:10
Speaker
So let's shift gears in this final part of part of part of the interview to the cape, right? where Our podcast is Don't Trip on Your Cape. And if you haven't already watched our initial episode, we really explained kind of the foundation and the the birth of this idea. But ultimately, are shared our shared hope is that people will be able to reconnect to their power and purpose. So when you and I talk a lot about
00:47:38
Speaker
what it means to don't trip on your cape, but what does that phrase mean to you now
00:47:48
Speaker
Um, for me, it means a lot of the things I thought were negatives are actually my superpowers. Like, one of the questions you asked earlier about rebelliousness, um, I've gotten teased before because i I actually said one time, I don't try and be rebellious or I don't try and initiate things. in it And even you said to me, the fuck you don't. And I was like, okay, maybe I do But it's not a purpose, but it kind of is. I'm just trying to be myself. And so for me, that's like the biggest thing that I've learned about all the things is for me, my superpowers is just being myself. And often, i tripped so much on just being myself.
00:48:36
Speaker
All of the things that i like ah I love about me now. and Well, like we said that earlier, but like my favorite things about myself are not allowed at at all. And so I tripped all over myself. And so for me, don't trip on your cape really means like loving who you are and figuring out the things that you're meant to do and you're aligned for, but often those things look like difficulties. Like for example, you know, that initial journey that we talked about, the thing that I learned was how lonely I had been for so long. And that was such a deep pain. And so I had to learn, like, well, then we're just going to hang out with other superheroes that also get it and that are aligned and being able to also know they have the cape and maybe might move my cape so I don't trip on it and I can move
Sharing Struggles for Healing and Growth
00:49:33
Speaker
theirs out of the way. So for me, it's about being around other people that have figured out how to switch the narrative on who they are, embodying it and being authentic and being willing to help others not trip on their cape too.
00:49:49
Speaker
but Yes. So this one's going to probably require a little courage. I'm just going to. Here we go. What part of your story still scares you to tell? And why do you choose to tell it anyway?
00:50:06
Speaker
How do my story scares me to tell? oh
00:50:13
Speaker
Probably the times during when I was, um, I shut in. That was the hardest time of my life. Like, and, and the, the circumstances that led up to it as well were me really trying, thinking I had found parts of myself and, and maybe I had, but, but realizing, um, I wasn't ready for a lot of it yet. And I didn't understand a lot of it yet.
00:50:39
Speaker
And, um, There's a lot of shame in feeling like I gave up in that time, and I know that I didn't because I'm still here, but mentally I had thought, well, i'll just wait to die. And that is a really hard thing to think and admit and, like, know that I lived a few years of my life in a way that looking back, god, I could have done so much different. But then also looking back, I did do so much. But it's not easy to think about or talk about, especially because like physically, i totally let myself go. think that's when I was very overweight. And i i don't think we've talked about it yet. But at some point, we will. And I had a long weight loss journey along with my transition where I lost over 100 pounds by myself. And so, i mean, that was, i put it on during that time, but I felt like I gave up.
00:51:34
Speaker
I really do. And I i did And that was rough. It just even being in that vibration is hard to think about because of how much we give up. Like there are so many times in this world we think we're not enough And that's where I was. Like, I just thought like, fuck it. and what i really what it really was, was i realized I hadn't fit in with the cult. And at that time I'm like, fuck, I don't even fit in with this world. the regular world, the only one I live in. i don't fit in here either. so I'm just not going to do it. I'm just not going the world. And that's basically what I decided. And that is not who I am. It is who I was. It's a part of my story. But giving up was the hardest thing I did, but eventually it ended up giving me back to myself in that it gave me a time to rest. It was when I found all the the most important books and some of the most important teachings and all of those types of things. But
00:52:35
Speaker
Anybody that feels that way, I cannot have enough compassion for and understanding, but also know that you can get out. I did. And it might be rough, but it was rough. It was the Like I said, I sometimes have to battle shame around that time because of, and and I know the reason it's maybe other people need to hear this is like we've all coming out of, all of us that have come out of cults, have come out, trans people, a lot of those same journeys have that moment of like, fuck, I'm never going to fit in. I'm just going to hide. And I did. and it is a really hard thing to feel like you are not good enough and you are never going to find your people and you are never going to have the things that can cause joy because joy just not
00:53:27
Speaker
an option for you, which is what I felt like. And so if if you ever feel that way, anyone know that it is and you can have it. You can have it all like Leslie said things as like genuinely it gets better when you start to step into yourself and find yourself and make the choices. And had to make some really hard choices to get out of that.
00:53:50
Speaker
Something that really stands out to me and what you just shared is The poignant truth that even when we do give up, even when we do quit, every day we were blessed to wake up a day older is an opportunity to lean back in and to start something new.
00:54:09
Speaker
and if anyone listening is feeling like they have given up or like it is over because they've stopped, I think you just described the experience really eloquently that Yes, and, right? it It may be true now and in this moment, you can create something different.
Journey of Self-Worth and Authentic Living
00:54:31
Speaker
and And there people who are ready to stand with you and lift you up while you do it. Certainly Alex and I, but there is a larger community available to you when you're ready to lean back in. The universe always had every step along the way. And It's a longer story than we have time for. But even when I decided to step out of that, like I had no idea, but it was just one step at a time and I didn't have to figure it out.
00:55:03
Speaker
The universe puts the steps in front of you and the right people and places and things. And looking back, I could not have planned it. So just take it one day at a time. I love that. So we talked a little bit about what you would share at different times to different versions of you. i want to ask you this one. If your younger self were sitting here right now, what do you think they'd say to you? That's funny.
00:55:34
Speaker
We're in my bedroom. I'm in my bedroom. um I just had a friend over this week or last week to spend some time in here. My bedroom is kind of my sanctuary.
00:55:44
Speaker
And I'm She was like, everything in here is so purposeful. and And we started talking about all my little things I have on my altar behind me and some things around my room.
00:55:56
Speaker
and i so And I said to her little me would never believe this room. Would never believe this room because the stories of my life are in this room of And we we talked a little bit because she was journeying and then she got quiet. So then I was thinking about it.
00:56:16
Speaker
And was thinking about like all the skills I have. Like I'm a i've a photographer and, you know, I've done some cool things with photography. um My job is really cool. Really cool. You know, I get to do mushroom, you know, grow mushrooms, which I think is one of the coolest things.
00:56:34
Speaker
just everything about it I love. Everything about it. But then the most important part about it is i get to put them in people's hands and hear their stories and build connection.
00:56:45
Speaker
and then, i mean, they would also have to look at me. Like, little me and knowing big me, that would fucking trip my shit. Like, absolutely. i would be like, what the actual yes. I mean, I immediately, I know I would be like, sign me up. Like, because I hated my body from forever ago.
00:57:12
Speaker
And I just think little me if would be like, when and how can I do it today? Because the life that i live and the person that I am, i think is pretty fucking cool. like just It's so nice to be able to think that like everything that I've gone through in my life, even all of the hard things, had made me into a person that...
00:57:36
Speaker
I like a lot and I'm really proud of. And little me would be like, wow. And and I think that's just a really neat thing to be able to look back on. So little you would be, sign me up when and how, what would you say back to them?
00:57:55
Speaker
Run, but fast. I've actually thought of this because on Reddit, a lot of times there'll be a hypothetical situation where they're like, Would you take $10 million dollars and go back to 10-year-old you? Or would you go to 45-year-old you and take $50 million? And I'm like, well... And I've thought about this because if I would go back, like I'd have to do the transition over. I'd have to think about all that things. And I've thought to myself, like who do I know that was cool back then? Like...
00:58:28
Speaker
Because I have a couple friends who are older than me and have pretty cool lives. Like, you know, Lisa, I'd be like, go find Lisa, run away. Like, and and genuinely like little me, and big me would, would try and break the timeline and get here sooner and stuff like that probably. But genuinely, if I could actually be like, listen,
00:58:50
Speaker
everything that you want obviously you can have and you do not have to have any more pain from where you're at right now to get it and none of those people are real loss and that's kind of sad to say in a lot of ways because you know I do love them and they're my family but they're never meant to be in my life so go find your life and this is the person and go do the thing like run but i would want to do it sooner like I because they in the hypothetical situation it's always you have all the knowledge you have now I'm like And a lot of me would want to relive that timeline and figure it out. I'm not sure I'd want to do the surgeries, but, you know, i'd be like, now I'm a science.
00:59:26
Speaker
I know science, you know, put me on hormone blockers and do testosterone earlier and all that. I'd figure it out. But the question, yeah, I'd be like run, run. And you don't deserve that because you can have everything you want and you're fucking awesome. And those people don't know that yet. Maybe they never will.
00:59:45
Speaker
i love I love that you said break the timeline because i you know I'm a science geek. I love to geek out on these kinds of ideas and you know the the implications of time travel and what would what would happen. And i think for me, it has been a really um large growing opportunity to to fully accept that changing any one of those variables would likely not put me where I'm at right now, having this amazing conversation with my best friend and and podcast partner, right? Like there's so much power in, in giving younger versions of ourselves, whether it was yesterday younger or 10 years younger or two years younger or two years old.
01:00:35
Speaker
And, and knowing that there's wisdom and, and giving grace and support for, loving the inner child, right? And I think that's kind of the whole foundation of inner child work is loving that version of yourself without needing that version of yourself to do a damn thing different, really. Yeah. And and what we would want to keep... Right, well, and and what we would want to protect them from and and guard them from also, you know, kind of like the podcast. Those are the things that we trip on. And
01:01:15
Speaker
We want to be able to give ourselves grace and and let other people know how to give themselves grace. It's just also a different question they often ask, like, would you go back? Same thing. You can get a bunch of money, but you don't have your memories. And I'm like, fuck that. Because also, if I had to do it over again to get exactly here right now, I would. Like, that's the thing is like, little me.
01:01:39
Speaker
I mean, I've had inner child sessions and I've talked to little me and love them and all of that. So if you can't break the timeline, great, there's a whole different answer. But the biggest answer is if I had to do it again to get the knowledge, fuck yeah, I would. Do I want to do it again? No. But the knowledge is literally priceless.
01:01:59
Speaker
And the centering I have and the way I've been through some hard stuff in general, but I feel like, thank you. And just feels, again, that's part of what makes me like me in the best way possible. So the loving your yourself now and all those versions is great, but breaking the timeline would be a fun mental experiment.
Cost of Freedom and Self-Discovery
01:02:23
Speaker
I fully agree. So one more question before we get to our our wrap up experience, which we're going to integrate into all of our interviews.
01:02:34
Speaker
What do you most want listeners to remember about becoming free and not feeling, not the feeling of it, but the cost of it?
01:02:46
Speaker
Hmm.
01:02:50
Speaker
like that because I initially went to feeling I know you you know me you know me or something um it costs everything I know that that sounds dramatic to some people but for me it costs everything I don't know a single person that was in my life before I was 24 think something like that Nobody.
01:03:20
Speaker
Not one single person do I still have in my life. But then since then, I've lost, like, you know, and and i I don't want to say lost, but, you know, what's that thing that say? Reason, season, lifetime. You know, there's been a lot of people there for a reason and a season. very i have none so far for a lifetime.
01:03:38
Speaker
And that is, you know, a part of my my story, but it's worthy. It is so so worthy because I found me.
01:03:51
Speaker
And you are worth everything that you it will take to find you. Everything. It does not matter what it is. There is not a cost that is too great.
01:04:02
Speaker
to feel that feeling of, I love me and can't touch this. like it is It is the best feeling. And that is just the beginning when you start to feel it. Because then building from that place is a whole nother life. And that is really like the biggest dream that I have is if we all live from that place of worthiness, knowing we are worthy, that whatever the cost is,
01:04:29
Speaker
It's going to be worth it. And I feel like we'd all just be puzzle pieces, clicking and aligning, and the world would be such a different place because we'd all be living from worthiness and purpose and love. And there is more than enough already, and we would just know it. And so whatever the cost, I would say, don't think twice. Just jump and go for it because the universe will catch you in your worthiness when you know that you are worthy It's a keen distinction between sacrifice and surrender and release.
01:05:06
Speaker
And I think you described it really well. Yes, it's a very big difference, but it often feels like you're sacrificing something and initially, often. i mean, you know, i i definitely felt like I was sacrificing my family in order to gain myself, but really I was surrendering them in that their path is also their path, and they're going to get what they need, and the universe is also collaborating with them, and that I will also get what I need, and that is a big lesson that
01:05:38
Speaker
I think so many people have a hard time with is, but if I'm not in their life, what if, or does that make me bad, or so many things, and also just surrendering to the idea that that's just a story. It's just a story, and you can tell a different one, which is, I'm worthy of whatever it takes to make myself happy, and they are worthy of that too, and it doesn't need to be together.
Final Reflections and Embracing Superpowers
01:06:04
Speaker
Powerful.
01:06:05
Speaker
So before we wrap, we want to end every episode with a nod to one of the greats, James Lipton from Inside the Actor's Studio.
01:06:16
Speaker
um He had a set of questions that sometimes revealed more about a person than the entire interview sometimes could. and So we decided to carry that tradition forward, not just to learn who our guests are, but also to get a glimpse into who they're becoming.
01:06:35
Speaker
The questions are simple. Sometimes they're playful, sometimes they're piercing, and they're really not about answering from the head, but answering from the heart. so you ready?
01:06:46
Speaker
ready. What's your favorite word? That's
01:06:54
Speaker
a good question. I have lot of favorite words.
01:07:03
Speaker
Grok. crock I love that. What's your least favorite word?
01:07:15
Speaker
who Anything that has to do with the restriction. I don't like to be confined.
01:07:23
Speaker
What turns you on creatively, spiritually, or emotionally?
01:07:31
Speaker
Wisdom. Always wisdom in all of it. What turns you off?
01:07:46
Speaker
closed-mindedness. Yeah. What's your favorite curse word? Fuck. What sound or noise do you love?
01:08:00
Speaker
Sound or noise do love? Water, water running. And music. i I pretty much have music going all the time. What sound or noise do you hate?
01:08:13
Speaker
don't
01:08:20
Speaker
know. Probably like anything like my dog's crying is probably the worst. I just don't do not like it when they cry. It makes my heart hurt.
01:08:32
Speaker
I was going to anything sounds like someone hurting, but my dogs are like the closest thing that I hear it the most. So yeah. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
01:08:45
Speaker
Uh...
01:08:47
Speaker
I think that I'm trying to step into, i haven't I've written a book, but i haven't actually got it out there yet, but just, um and this is kind of part of that too, but public speaking and doing the thing where I'm actually in front of people. I'm kind of a hermit. I like to be, I was a shut-in for five years.
01:09:07
Speaker
So ah being being more in the world and and yeah, doing that more. What profession would you not like to do?
01:09:20
Speaker
Being in the world. I'm just
01:09:29
Speaker
I would not want to be on one of those oil rigs out in the middle of the ocean. wheres they pay They pay amazing money, they have apparently, but like I watch videos of them sometimes and said, wow, that is some crazy stuff they do out there. No, thank you.
01:09:45
Speaker
And then finally, if heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?
01:10:03
Speaker
That's so funny. I feel like i should have an easy answer for this. Welcome your friends are here, i guess. Yeah. I love that.
01:10:14
Speaker
All of your friends are right here right now too, friend. All right. That was spectacular. Even better than my expectations. I'm so excited. So don't forget to tune in next time to our next episode. We are up to big things here at Don't Trip On Your Cape. I'm Leslie.
01:10:30
Speaker
And I'm Alex. We'll see you next time. Bye.
01:10:38
Speaker
Thanks for joining Alex and Leslie on Don't Trip On Your Cape. I really appreciate you being here and walking this path with them. If today's episode sparked something in you, if it helps you rock something new about yourself or your journey, show your support by subscribing to the channel, liking episode, and leaving a comment to share your thoughts or takeaways.
01:10:53
Speaker
Your voice helps to grow this community of brave, curious humans learning wither kitchen confidence. and Until next time, fly high, stay curious, and don't chip on your cake. Step into your superpower.