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Privacy and Secrecy
13 Plays4 years ago
In this week's episode, I discussed the difference between privacy and secrecy and how both can help you through life.
Recommended Resource: The Millennial Question by Simon Sinek https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vudaAYx2IcE
If you want to send me an email you can email me at [email protected] instagram.com/elianeanita
twitter.com/elianeanita
facebook.com/elianeanitashow
Snapchat: ElianeAnita
Recorded, Produced and Edited by Éliane Anita
Track Produced by Devo Beats
This is a Relevant Media production and Podcast
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Transcript
Introduction and New Year's Greetings
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome to the Eliana Nita podcast, the podcast created to inform, challenge and empower you. Now let's get down to business.
00:00:24
Speaker
Welcome to the Alienated Podcast. I'm your host, Alien. And I'm so excited to be bringing you this year's first podcast. First of all, Happy New Year's from me. I know that we are willing to the first quarter of the year and I have yet to record a podcast at all this year. So this is the first one, but I wanted to say Happy New Year from
Stepping Away from Social Media
00:00:50
Speaker
me.
00:00:50
Speaker
And I want to thank you for tuning in this week for this podcast show. I am going to talk to you about the subject of privacy and secrecy. So this year I made a decision that I would take a break from social media. I just decided, hey, let's just hop off and do some
00:01:16
Speaker
inner work and just focus on some goals and some things that I had been wanting to get done for a very long time, but I was always very distracted. And I found myself spending a lot of energy comparing myself to what I saw on social media and what I saw my friends doing and what I thought my family was doing or whatever. And it would distract me from actually getting what I needed to get done. So I said, you know what?
00:01:44
Speaker
I am just going to break away and not even allow myself to become, um, inundated with so many images and so many things. And so, you know, so much, um, advertisement coming at me and, you know, just being endowed with all of the social media. So I was like, you know what, I'm just gonna hop off for a year and just see what
Privacy vs. Societal Norms
00:02:05
Speaker
happens. And I don't know, you know, I'm saying a year, but I don't even know how long I'm gonna be off of social media, but I just wanted to,
00:02:13
Speaker
just give myself the mental clarity and give myself an emotional break to just step away and just clear my mind and work on me. It's February, the end of February, and it has been so rewarding for me to just be to myself and not know everything, not see everything.
00:02:37
Speaker
but just work on me and just do my thing. It's just been so rewarding. I want to say that this podcast is not to convince you to get off of social media. If social media is your thing, do it. I'm just telling you the benefits and what I've been learning since I've been off of social media so far. This is not to tell you, hey, you need to be off social media with me. No, do your thing, do whatever makes you feel comfortable. But I just wanted to present some information to you.
00:03:07
Speaker
We live in this society where oversharing is so normal. Some people wake up and they post their every waking move. As I said this year, I made a decision that I was going to step away to deepen my relationships, to focus on my goals, to track my progress, to see where I am in my life. I wanted to do that without distraction and without comparison.
00:03:34
Speaker
I remember I was on social media and I was admiring someone's relationship with their mom. And when I seen that person in person, I went to compliment them on their relationship with their mother. And she was like, you know, me and my mom are not really that close. Like, you know, she's pretty mean to me and we're working through the logistics of our relationship.
00:03:56
Speaker
And you would have never been able to see that via social media, like the post that she made, the post that she makes about her mom, it makes it seem like they have the best relationship in the world. And what that taught me was never compare yourself because it was that their relationship is nothing more than a good social media post.
The Power of Privacy in Focus
00:04:19
Speaker
It's a beautiful caption post picture, a well captioned picture.
00:04:24
Speaker
that makes you believe the narrative that the person wants you to believe. So I had to learn that it's foolish to compare yourself. I love observing people that I'm intrigued with and that inspires me. I learned so much from just watching people
00:04:41
Speaker
And I'm a visual learner, so I learn a lot by watching people. And what I know this is that the people that really inspire me, that really encourage me to go out to my dreams and goals are the people that spend the least amount of time on social media. They're so busy making their dreams and goals come to pass.
00:05:01
Speaker
that they typically move in silence or at least what we think is silence because they're not posting their every move. They're pretty much making their business happen and they make decisions and when they're making their decisions and adjustments, they remove all distractions from them. So by watching them, I learned the difference between privacy and secrecy and why they're both important.
Consequences of Oversharing
00:05:27
Speaker
Sometimes we get so excited about a goal or a project that we can't help but to share it with everyone. Most of the time we share before we make any progress. We've gotten to a culture where we celebrate participation but never celebrate completion because most people are not completing the goals that they started out setting. We've all seen it before where someone is excited about a new relationship and before you even know it, it's over.
00:05:57
Speaker
Now they have to go through their whole entire social media feed and delete every post and picture and explain to everybody why that relationship didn't work. Could you imagine having a hard and nasty breakup and because you made it so public that you have to explain to everybody that comes to you like, oh, how's you and your boyfriend doing or how you and your girlfriend are doing it? Now you have to tell them we broke up. Like, could you imagine trying to heal through that?
00:06:24
Speaker
It is so crazy how people feel so connected to you, even though they've never met you before. They only know you through your social media posts, but they feel like they're your family, they're your friend, and nobody is actually making real interactions. I remember I was watching this show. It was an interview that Oprah had did, and she was talking about one of her most memorable shows.
00:06:49
Speaker
And she had the show where she came out and she was pulling a wagon full of animal fat. And the animal fat represented the amount of weight that she lost. Oprah strutted across the stage. And I remember seeing this show, she strutted across the stage. And I think she had on like a size eight or something like that. Guess jeans. I mean, she was like snatched, right?
00:07:12
Speaker
And everybody in the audience was astonished like, oh my gosh, look at Oprah. She lost all this weight. She looks amazing. And not long after that episode, Oprah gained the weight back. She started to pick up the weight and Oprah even stated that that was something that she regretted her entire career. We're talking about the big old billionaire Oprah.
00:07:35
Speaker
regret that moment in her career because she spent the rest of her career being judged in question for her weight, all because she made it a public thing. And I noticed that like even with relationships, you can be broken up with somebody for years and
00:07:55
Speaker
If you post every single relationship that you're in, people question your sanity. They question your ability to reason or make good decisions for yourself because everybody is invited into your life. And Oprah did the show back in the, I want to say like late 80s, early 90s, and to this day we're well into the millennium and people are still questioning her about her weight and Oprah's in her 60s.
00:08:21
Speaker
It goes to show you that when we allow people to come into our space, they become intrusive and they feel like they even have the right to tell you what to do with your body and your space. That was a good lesson learned from Oprah and that's a good lesson learned from me.
Timing in Sharing Success
00:08:38
Speaker
Sometimes it's good to just have quiet victories. Everyone isn't meant to share your victories and sharing your happiness because everybody is not genuinely happy for you.
00:08:49
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I believe that there is a time and a place of when and what to share. People may be married, but you may not know about the vacation that they went on. People may be noticing that you lost weight, but they don't need a gym selfie every time you go to the gym. If you're selling a product, sell whatever you offer, but don't sell your life.
00:09:11
Speaker
I'm going to give you a couple of definitions on what secrecy and privacy is. I believe you can guard your life by using these two things. Secrecy is defined as done, made, or conducted without the knowledge of others. Secrecy is important when you want to protect something that is sensitive and vulnerable. Here's a good example.
00:09:39
Speaker
Beyonce is one of the most popular artists ever. Without warning, marketing, or hints, she managed to pull off a surprise album with visual art for every song without anyone ever knowing, except for the people that needed to know. According to Apple, this is an Apple statistic, that album had over 800,000 streams in less than three days.
00:10:07
Speaker
That album sealed her iconic status. She managed to pull off. I can't remember how many songs was in that particular album, but I believe it was somewhere around 14. But Beyonce managed to pull off a secret album
00:10:27
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and on top of that artwork or videos to go with it which is insane because most people can't do that with a smaller project like with just one single so she managed to come out with this this iconic album and it like blew everybody out of the water and she kept it secret
Privacy vs. Secrecy
00:10:50
Speaker
Privacy is defined as the state of being free from unwanted or undue intrusion or disturbance in one's private life or affairs, freedom to be let alone. Privacy is important when you want to protect something important or someone important or something special, but you want accountability or protection. So let me give you an analogy between the two.
00:11:19
Speaker
Say if you're sitting at the at the table with you at the restaurant with your friends and you have to go to the washroom. You may tell your friends. Hey, I need to step away. Excuse me. I need to go to the washroom. They know that you're going to the washroom.
00:11:35
Speaker
but they're not going in the actual stall with you. So privacy means you know where I am, you know what I'm doing, but you're not necessarily seeing what I'm doing. So that's where secrecy comes in where you actually go into the stall, close the door, and do whatever you need to do. So no one knows what you're doing in that washroom.
00:11:59
Speaker
So that that's the way I like to like think of it is like I let people know Where I'm going so I could be safe and I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do in a private manner But when I go into the actual stall, no one can see what I'm doing. So that's my secrecy so I tend to believe that ideas In their infancy are their most vulnerable. I believe the same thing about relationships
00:12:29
Speaker
And one of the ways you protect your ideas, your projects, your relationships is by keeping them private and even secret until the right time. And I just jotted down five benefits of secrecy and privacy that I just really wanted to land here in this podcast. So the first one is statistics shows that relationships last longer and they are more healthier when they're kept private.
00:12:56
Speaker
long lasting relationships and long lasting and healthy relationships can be formed when they don't have the social pressure of perfection. When you don't have to post the perfect selfie or go to the hottest spots to have a good time, you can enjoy the ambiance of the company that you share.
00:13:17
Speaker
Number two, people that understand how to use secrecy and privacy have less debt. Statistics also show that people who are highly active on social media have higher balances of debt. People tend to spend more money and live outside of their budgets to compete with what they see others have.
00:13:39
Speaker
When you run your own race and tend to your own business, you can have the life according to your means and your standards. Number three, people who live their lives privately are healthier mentally, physically, and emotionally.
00:13:57
Speaker
Statistics shows that people who spend less time on social media live active lives, spend more time breathing to develop their minds, they have a higher IQ, and they can hold better conversations, and they can recognize habits, traits, and dysfunctions because they have more time.
00:14:17
Speaker
to pay attention to themselves. Number four, people that understand privacy are more respectful and empathetic towards others, meaning they understand the human condition because they understand that they are a human too.
00:14:32
Speaker
And finally, my fifth point is people that understand privacy and secrecy have higher self-esteem because they know their weaknesses, they know their strengths, and they know how to adjust with it.
00:14:48
Speaker
I'm not suggesting that you live your life in private or in secrecy without accountability, friends, and family, but I am suggesting that you should consider what you shared before you
Mindful Social Media Use and Conclusion
00:15:00
Speaker
shared. Remember that your public life will ultimately affect your private life.
00:15:06
Speaker
and that everyone does not have your best interests in mind before you open yourself up to public criticism, opinion, and judgment, consider what you decide to share. Give yourselves breaks from social media when necessary, work on building meaningful and authentic relationships in real life. I cannot stress how important it is to focus on your real life and not a social media-based life.
00:15:35
Speaker
I'm not trying to convince you to get off social media, but I am trying to convince you to use social media with caution. Know your limits, know when you've reached too much, and also to pay attention to yourself. Your best investment you can make is in yourself. And if you're constantly investing yourself into comparing yourself to someone else or what you see on social media,
00:16:02
Speaker
Statistics shows that you're going to live an extremely unhealthy and unhappy life. And that's not what I want for you. And I hope that's not what you want for yourself. So enjoy your social media, but know how to use it. So guys, I would like to thank you so much for joining me for this week's podcast. Um, I am excited to be bringing you new and relevant information.
00:16:26
Speaker
And before I hop out, I have a really good interview that one of my favorite authors, Simon Scenic, did about three or four years ago. It's called the Millennium Question. I'm going to link it in my show description. So all you have to do is click on the podcast and you'll see the recommended resource.
00:16:47
Speaker
Also, although I am off of social media for a while, if you want to follow me, you can at AlianaNita on all of the platforms. And also if you want to email me, you can at AlianaNita at GM or sorry, AlianaNita show at gmail.com. And until next time, be blessed and stay relevant.