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Owning Your Space
28 Plays3 years ago
In this week's podcast, I talk about the importance of owning and protecting your space.
If you want to send me an email you can email me at [email protected]
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Transcript
Introduction to Owning Your Space
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome to the Eliana Nita podcast, the podcast created to inform, challenge and empower you. Now let's get down to business.
00:00:23
Speaker
Hi guys, welcome to the Alienion the podcast. I'm your host, Alienion, and I am so excited to have you join me for this week's podcast. I am going to talk to you about owning your space.
Journey of Embracing Space and Purpose
00:00:38
Speaker
So lately I have been on this journey with my therapist about owning my space. So lately, um,
00:00:48
Speaker
I've been really focusing, hyper focusing on making sure that I take advantage of the space that I personally have in this earth, that I come into the realization that I am here for a purpose. God gave me a voice. He gave me a body. He gave me breath.
00:01:08
Speaker
And I should take full advantage of the space that I'm given and not be afraid to be who I am. And so I've been taking this journey with my therapist about how to
00:01:24
Speaker
own my space, how to respect it myself, how to take care of it, how to just be me and not be ashamed to do that. And so I recently was reading my Bible and I have to state that I am a Christian.
00:01:41
Speaker
I do believe in the Bible. And so if you are not a Christian and you're listening, you can take these same principles. Even though I'm talking about Christian principles, I do believe that you can take what I'm talking about and use it in your own way and translate it into what you believe.
Biblical Insights and Self-Worth
00:02:02
Speaker
So anyway, I was reading in the book of Genesis and it's a story of two brothers named Jacob and Esau.
00:02:11
Speaker
and Esau was the older brother or is the older brother and
00:02:16
Speaker
Jacob was the younger and Esau father loved him so much. He was his father's favorite and Jacob was his mother's favorite. And so once their father got old, he was ready to make his transition and he was going to lay his hands on his son, his favorite son Esau to give him a blessing. So back in the day, in the biblical days,
00:02:42
Speaker
to give someone your blessings to lay your hands on them to like basically impart into them was like a huge thing and so
00:02:51
Speaker
Esau was like, he was like the warrior. He was the one that got stuff done. He was the stronger one where Jacob was more of the passive one. I kind of hang around my mom. I'm kind of up under her. And so one day Esau was really hungry. He was super hungry and his brother was like, he went to his brother and he told his brother, give me something to eat. And his brother was like, I'll give you a cup of soup and some water if you give me your birthright.
00:03:21
Speaker
And in the Bible, it said that Esau despised his birthright. He literally like despised his birthright. So he was like, okay, I'll give you my birthright and just give me something to eat because I'm hungry. So his brother did that. And so he basically gave him his birthright. So when his father died and his father was like leaving his last impartation,
00:03:45
Speaker
His brother was able to steal that from him because, or not necessarily steal it from him because Esau gave it to him. He was able to get that impartation from his father because Esau despised his place.
Societal Standards and Self-View
00:03:58
Speaker
He despised his space. And so I thought about that as I was, you know, taking this journey with my my therapist
00:04:05
Speaker
and even mentally taking it by myself. I started to think about how often are we like Esau? How often am I like Esau where I despise what God has given me? I think about how often I compare myself to others like compare my space or where I am financially or where I am professionally and
00:04:29
Speaker
how I'm not like this person, or this person is doing this, or I wish I was smaller, or I wish I could do this, or I wish I could do that. I find myself thinking less of myself and more of others because I don't value what God has given me. Like Esau, we can sometimes grow to despise who we are and what we've been created to do and created to be.
00:04:56
Speaker
like in the times of like where um with with Meg the Stallion the rapper she had if you don't know her you can google her but she had an incident where um she ended up getting shot and you know everybody was commenting saying oh she's she got shot because she's so aggressive and
00:05:19
Speaker
you know, she acts like a man or she's tall and the guy is short and she probably was bullying him and stuff like that. And I remember like I listened to so many guys talk about how tall women are this and tall women are that. And even how I have in my own experiences have been talked about and treated badly or treated less than a woman because I'm tall.
00:05:43
Speaker
And I would I would like literally despise being my height. And I'm not really tall. I'm just I'm 510, but I guess I'm tall to be a woman. And I remember feeling like, man, I wish I was shorter. I wish I wasn't like this. And I had to realize like,
00:06:02
Speaker
I'm despising myself. I'm despising my birthright, my place, the space that God gave me because I'm trying to fit in and be what everybody else wanted me to be or be like the standard of beauty or I remember when I locked my hair, it was a guy that told me that
00:06:22
Speaker
he didn't think he felt like I wasn't facially challenged. Meaning he didn't feel like I was like crazy ugly, but he literally said, I don't feel like you're facially challenged, but I think that people who have locks in their hair, their hair stinks. And it was such a stereotype and out my feelings was hurt kind of by it. But I thought about it and I'm like,
00:06:41
Speaker
It's my hair. I have the right to lock it. I have the right to straighten it. And like, even how he said in the conversation, he like light skinned women with long flowy hair. Well, I'm a black girl with
00:06:53
Speaker
with natural hair that's locked. And it's like feeling like you are not enough and that you'll never be enough and you constantly have to change yourself is something that I always found myself in a head space of. Like you're just not enough. You gotta earn your spot or you have to look like everybody else or think like everybody else to be a part or be accepted. And I had to learn that I cannot deny myself. I can't deny
00:07:21
Speaker
the space that God has given me or even hate the body type and hate the skin color that I was created to be because God said that he didn't make a mistake about
Respecting Space and Setting Boundaries
00:07:34
Speaker
me. He felt like this is who you needed to be and this is how you needed to look.
00:07:40
Speaker
Who am I to shrink back and say or push myself back or try to fit in a box? Like, why should I fit into this box or put myself into a box just to fit in or try to be likable by someone that I probably don't even like or don't even really care about?
00:08:00
Speaker
I had to learn, and I'm learning honestly, how to take advantage of the space that I have and be grateful for this. I am happy that I'm 5'10", because this is the way that God made me. And there's a scripture that says, God has made us fearfully and wonderfully made. And I hear this quoted so much, but it's like, do you really believe that you're fearfully and wonderfully made?
00:08:26
Speaker
And if so, if you feel like you're fearfully and wonderfully made, why are you shrinking down to be like everybody else or fit into a certain category so people can like you? Why not just enjoy yourself and be grateful for who you are and own your space?
00:08:41
Speaker
And so when when reading the story of Esau, I just found myself just like him, like, man, I'm selling myself short for a bowl of soup. It's like we were all created to be different. We were all created to look different. And that's the reason why.
00:09:01
Speaker
you have to appreciate your difference because we were created to be that way. Like we were created to be different. And so I learned a few things from that. I learned that I need to acknowledge that I have space and that the reason why I'm given this space is because I have a purpose.
Teaching Others to Respect Your Space
00:09:21
Speaker
I have a destiny to fulfill and it's up to me to fulfill that purpose and not
00:09:28
Speaker
shortchange myself while trying to fit in with someone else or fit in to be someone else. I had to learn to respect the space that I'm given. I had to learn to respect my own body like stop calling myself dumb or stop feeling like I'm not as smart because I didn't know something that someone else knew or maybe somebody else had more wisdom in an area than I did or
00:09:51
Speaker
I had to learn to respect my body by putting healthier foods in my body and start to really take my health serious because this is my body and this is the only body I'll ever have. And so I had to respect that and like respect my thoughts and like be okay with my thoughts not being like everybody else. So I had to learn to just be
00:10:15
Speaker
willing to just be myself and respect the fact that I have a right to feel, respect my emotions and stop suppressing them. If I felt like I needed to cry because I was emotional about something, then I cried. If I was angry, I gave myself the space to be angry and to feel my emotions because they're there for a reason. And so in order to respect my space, I had to allow myself to just be.
00:10:41
Speaker
and just grow in that and evolve in any way that I needed to evolve in. I had to learn how to teach others how to respect my space. Like setting boundaries, like listen, I don't want to be on the phone at the certain hour. So I'm going to put my phone on, do not disturb unless it's an emergency. Like teach people how to respect the space that you have. And the only way that I can teach people how to respect my space and respect me is by respecting it myself.
00:11:11
Speaker
So as you grow in and acknowledge the space that you're in, you have to be willing to have the difficult conversations to train people on how to retreat and respect your space because that's important.
Maintaining Mental Health
00:11:27
Speaker
How you love yourself is ultimately how you're going to allow others people to love you.
00:11:33
Speaker
I also had to learn how to take care of the space that I'm given. So I had to learn to like not allow people to brain dump on me if I couldn't mentally handle it. I had to learn how to not put myself in compromising situations that would lead to me feeling horrible or feeling bad about myself or feeling bad about my space.
00:11:54
Speaker
So I had to stay away from conversations or not read this or log off of social media. Recently, I deleted the Facebook app because I'm like, I really don't enjoy being here. And it always puts me in a horrible mental space when I'm on here. So I was like, forget it. I'm just going to delete Facebook and be done with that.
00:12:17
Speaker
I had to, in order to take care of my space and take care of myself, I had to evolve in that way to be able to say like, I'm not going to be involved or I'm not going to be a part of this social media site because I need to take care of my space.
Gratitude and Personal Growth
00:12:35
Speaker
And so that's one example of how you can take care of your space. But there are so many other ways you can to make sure like go for a walk,
00:12:44
Speaker
breathe, cut out a bad habit, you know, whatever it is that you need to do to take care of your space to make sure that you're good is what you need to do for yourself. And then the final thing that I learned is to be grateful for the space that I have. I am grateful for the woman that I am at the age of 34.
00:13:02
Speaker
I don't have everything. My life is not perfect. I don't have everything together, but every single day I'm evolving. Every single day I am becoming a better woman, a better alien. I am growing and experiencing things and I'm taking it one day at a time. And I am grateful for every single thing God has given me, good and bad. I'm grateful for the way that I make, I'm grateful for the way that I think, I'm grateful for the way that I process.
00:13:31
Speaker
In all of this, I had to learn to just be thankful and not sell myself short because of what everyone else have.
Encouragement to Embrace Individuality
00:13:41
Speaker
So I really hope that this podcast kind of ignited the fire for you to own your space. I don't want to go a long time.
00:13:48
Speaker
about it, but I just wanted to share with you this truth, this breakthrough that I had in therapy was like, hey, own your space. Own who you are. Be grateful for who you are. Don't sell yourself short because of what everybody else is doing.
00:14:07
Speaker
it doesn't matter that you're tall or if you're short or if you're thin or if you're big or whatever like own your space, own who you are, be grateful for who you are because the world needs you. We don't need another copy of anybody else we need you so own and respect your space.
Conclusion and Listener Engagement
00:14:26
Speaker
So anyway guys, that is my podcast about owning your space. If you want to follow me on any social media, I am Aliana Nita on
00:14:34
Speaker
all of the things. And if you want to send me an email, you can email me at alienanitashow at gmail.com. And if you don't mind, rate this podcast, give me a five star rating, leave a good comment. And as always, stay blessed and be relevant.