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EP 15: I Was Too Loud, Too Much — Now I Know I'm Enough (Grace’s Story)
191 Plays6 months ago
In this wonderfully honest and engaging episode Jade hears from a passionate high school teacher. Grace was labelled “fussy,” “bossy,” and “too much” as a child. After a little nudge from a close friend, at 28, she was diagnosed with ADHD, and everything changed.
“Because of how people perceived me, that became my perception of myself.”
Grace shares her powerful story of shame, identity, and self-reclamation, how her high school drama teacher’s belief in her shifted her path in life.
“For so long, I truly believed I wasn’t smart. Now I know I’m capable of anything I put my mind to.”
She now hopes to be that person for as many students as she can reach. Grace is also writing a children’s book to help neurodivergent kids feel seen. A beautiful, bold conversation about redefining what it means to belong.
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Transcript
Introduction to 'Awaken ADHD'
00:00:06
Speaker
You are listening to Awaken ADHD, a podcast where people share their ADHD stories, life before and after diagnosis, support, strategies, strengths and challenges.
00:00:17
Speaker
Hi, I'm Jade and I'll be your host. I'm a counsellor, ADHD coach and fellow ADHD-er. So join me as we Awaken ADHD.
Acknowledgment of Traditional Landowners
00:00:31
Speaker
This podcast was recorded on the land of the Boon Wurrung people of the Kulin Nation. and we wish to acknowledge them as traditional owners. We recognise First Peoples of Australia as the original storytellers and pay our respects to Elders past, present and emerging.
Guest Introduction: Grace's Passion and Role
00:00:50
Speaker
Hello and welcome to another episode of Awaken ADHD. I'm not solo today. i am joined by the lovely Grace.
00:01:01
Speaker
Grace is a dog lover, a writer, a high school English and drama teacher from Canberra, and she brings her love of dance into everything she does and is a passionate advocate of student well-being and inclusive education. Welcome, Grace.
00:01:19
Speaker
Hello. How are you, Jane? am good. The sun is shining. I've got my little sunny spot here. How's the weather in Canberra? Sunny and shiny.
00:01:30
Speaker
It's beautiful and I'm so happy to be here speaking with you today. Beautiful, thank you for joining us.
Grace's Awakening to ADHD
00:01:37
Speaker
Alrighty, i Grace I usually start with when was the moment you first awakened to ADHD?
00:01:46
Speaker
Just start wherever you feel like it. I first awakened to ADHD when I was 28. twenty eight That was about two and a half years ago, possibly actually coming up three years ago. You're newbie?
00:02:03
Speaker
I am a newbie, yes. I'll never forget the day. It was actually my best friend of over 15 years. She knows me very well inside and out. She goes, okay, Grace, come sit down.
00:02:17
Speaker
and I need to talk to you. I was like, what's happened? What's wrong? And she goes, I think you have ADHD. Dun, dun, dun.
00:02:31
Speaker
And I laughed in her face and said, absolutely not. Did not believe her. Did not understand one single bit. What was your imagining of ADHD at that point? What did you know of her? What was hilarious to you about that prospect? I always knew about ADHD was, of course, through, you know, my studies and things like that.
00:02:58
Speaker
And I just always imagined a little boy bouncing around. That was what I envisioned always. But it's quite funny because I was a little girl bouncing around.
00:03:13
Speaker
Uh-huh. Yeah, me too. I just, I don't know why i never saw it in me. My best friend, she goes, okay, Grace, have a look at the symptoms. We'll do a Google search. Looking at the long list of symptoms, I was like, yeah, yeah, I do that and that and that and that.
00:03:32
Speaker
But I've always been like that. That's just me. And she goes, exactly.
00:03:39
Speaker
Case in point, Grace, that's what I'm saying. and My mind exploded genuinely. It was almost like the first day of this new beginning for me in a way. So, yeah, it was a very, very wild time and it took me a couple of weeks to really wrap my head around it.
00:04:01
Speaker
And, of course, as you do, first thing I do, ring mum. And i I told her, i was like, mum, I think I might have ADHD. And she goes, I've been waiting for this day for a very long time.
00:04:17
Speaker
Wow. And I was not expecting that response at all. Yeah, okay. Yeah. So it was very interesting. She said that she had always known or suspected from when when I was really young.
00:04:33
Speaker
i was like, what? Why am I only finding this out now? Yes, that's the thing that's coming to my mind. Mum, you knew. why Why the waiting for me to realise it? My mum did say, she goes, you're the baby of five kids.
00:04:51
Speaker
and And she was like, I feel terrible terrible about this. I could hear it in her voice. she You could hear that guilt in her voice. She was quite emotional. And she was like, but five kids...
00:05:02
Speaker
running a family business, and I just knew that you would be okay. And then as time went on, as a teenager, I found it really challenging to be able to come forward with this news to you. And so that's how it went. Wow.
00:05:19
Speaker
That must have been quite a shock that your best friend and your mother, maybe more, but at least those two people that you're very close to have been seeing you through this lens and and you had no idea i had no idea when i finally wrapped my head around it and started to speak to my other friends and family they responded with yeah didn't you know what did you feel about that like am i the only am i in a reality show here why am i the at last one to know this
00:05:53
Speaker
I did feel exactly like that.
Challenges and Relief of Diagnosis
00:05:56
Speaker
It was, again, my my mind exploded. Yeah, that was quite hard actually, realising that a lot of people had already known or suspected or just thought that I'd already known as well. That does sound hard.
00:06:12
Speaker
What was that that hard feeling like for you? Crashing. in a way, but at the exact same time, it was crushing and isolating and lonely. I think the relief and the the validation actually outweighed those negative feelings more so.
00:06:32
Speaker
Right. That makes sense to me because I'm thinking, you know, if everybody else knew this about me, I'd kind of feel a bit left out or something. Yes, yes, absolutely. And and I think the relief of, well, if they all think that I have ADHD, I tick off all of the symptoms, then I'm probably not crazy for going to get a diagnosis and that I probably should. Yeah.
00:07:00
Speaker
if that makes sense. Yeah. So it was affirming at the same time. Yeah. And also it doesn't sound like anyone was, ah correct me if I'm wrong, but it doesn't sound like there was judgment in there. It was, oh yeah, that's, that's how she is. And that's cool.
00:07:16
Speaker
Absolutely. And you're so right. There was definitely no judgment. And again, I think I was quite relieved by that. I honestly only had love and support all the way through that, which was, again, really, really validating and reassuring. And I think that's exactly what I needed because there was lots of emotion. So what was that journey to diagnosis like for you, all of those big emotions and just the process in general?
00:07:43
Speaker
The process? in general, was long, challenging to action on, you know, completing these forms and all of these things that you had to do and see the GP and this and that.
00:07:59
Speaker
Again, it was okay in that I was very lucky. i had a friend who also has ADHD and And they were able to guide me through the process so that it wasn't as daunting as it could have been. The one thing, though, that I was really grateful for was my mum.
00:08:19
Speaker
My psychiatrist wanted to speak to a family member if possible. I asked mum thinking that she would say no, but she was really great. She was super open to it.
00:08:31
Speaker
And was quite interesting in the session we had with the psychiatrist, just some of the things that mum was saying about me that had never been spoken
Childhood Signs and Self-Perception
00:08:43
Speaker
about. That was the first time that I'd uncovered certain things.
00:08:48
Speaker
from my childhood early, early childhood. Is there anything from that that it would be worthwhile sharing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. My mum said that, you know, she had four kids and then I came along and I was a tornado, just shook up the entire household. Mum went on to talk about that, like, you know, she thought she had it together. You know, she had the parenting down pat, she was all good, sweet,
00:09:18
Speaker
And then I came along and she looked at me and she's like, what do I do with Miss Grace?
00:09:26
Speaker
And she said that I tested her the most out of any other child, the highs and the lows, the temper tantrums, like pure anger. She was like, I just never saw that in a kid before. You know, this big ball of energy,
00:09:42
Speaker
um and very particular, very fussy. She describes, you know, doing my hair and making it really pretty. I would just be like, no, and I'll just rip it out.
00:09:55
Speaker
And I know now that it was a sensitivity issue. Yeah, right. It was too tight. It was, yeah. Yep, and mum had to cut off all the tags off my clothes.
00:10:07
Speaker
um She had to buy me seamless socks. And even just that word fussy, that is the neurotypical story that we can even have that internal ableist inside that says, oh, I'm fussy.
00:10:23
Speaker
No, I'm actually highly sensitive to the clothing or the texture or the lights or the sounds or the what have you. And and this is what you you're describing. It looks like fussy in particular, whether it's food or what have you. It's uncomfortable.
00:10:39
Speaker
from all angles you know the the sounds the the feeling the the distractions and things and there's a part of me that does wish i was diagnosed earlier but at the same time i am grateful that ah my mum, she approached her parenting differently with me and really supported me as a young child through that.
00:11:07
Speaker
You know, I had to have a star chart for my sleep. So if I slept in my bed every night and not cried, i would get a star on my chart. Things like that that she she never had to do with my siblings. And did you respond to that that sort of positive reinforcement and rewards?
00:11:26
Speaker
Loved it. Yeah. my My other curiosity is we know that some of these narratives that we hear early on and people don't intend them to be negative stories, but they can perpetuate into negative stories like lazy or fussy is fussy one that was kind of throughout your life you were experiencing that where you had that internal dialogue yeah big time definitely fussy um along with many other narratives uh fussy bossy stubborn all the lovely things
00:12:05
Speaker
And more. Too much. Too much. You're too much. You're too loud. Be quiet. Don't do that. Don't do this. Always being told what to do. Did you start to re-look at those patterns and those stories that had kind of been with you? Because we internalise them, right? Yes.
00:12:26
Speaker
I'm too much. I'm too fussy. and Yeah, but my entire childhood childhood and and beyond, thinking about these particular narratives um or perceptions of me by others really took me a long time to understand and break down into pieces and analyze. That was probably and has been the hardest part, I think, of this journey that I've been on ah since my diagnosis. And I think from always telling me what to do and how to do it and when to do it, I've realized now has stored deep, deep, deep down inside.
00:13:04
Speaker
And that throughout my whole childhood, there was so much shame, low self-esteem, What was the shame around?
Struggles with Self-Worth and Expectations
00:13:11
Speaker
The shame was around not being and enough, not being right and this shame of like embarrassment or sadness but like this deep, deep sadness and also a little mix of anxiety in there too around, you know, the person I was and am.
00:13:38
Speaker
um and my identity essentially why can't I be like them why do I always do this why can't I do haha yeah right why is it easy for everybody else or seemingly easy for everybody else to do that simple thing yet I can't do it why can everybody stay quiet yet I am outspoken why can everybody I don't know, open their mail and I can't.
00:14:11
Speaker
I might be talking about my own story here. But but any of those stories you have, why is it a why can other people do it and I can't? What's wrong with me?
00:14:23
Speaker
Exactly. That is so spot on. Very, very well said. And that goes even further, you know. Why can they just get this done or do this and do well at it?
00:14:38
Speaker
Why can't i accomplish something? Why can't I finish something? That feeling carried all the way through my schooling years and that's what I've really uncovered him since my diagnosis. and i And along with that, I actually realised that i went through school truly thinking and believing that I was not smart, not capable of ever accomplishing anything or anything important.
00:15:16
Speaker
I just got chills as you said that ah for multiple reasons. One, it's a very familiar story personally and all too familiar for ADHD individuals in general.
00:15:34
Speaker
Even if they're getting good grades, it it's still not good enough. They're still not reaching their potential, could do better if only they could stop doing this or do more of this, pay attention, focus.
00:15:51
Speaker
Yep, yep, exactly. so if only she applied herself. yeah as if you're not trying. Yep.
00:16:02
Speaker
And I think what I have further discovered and uncovered from this is that i also was never taken seriously, always felt unheard.
00:16:17
Speaker
And I honestly think that I went through my life from a very young age, believing that whatever I had to say was unimportant because of how people perceived me.
00:16:34
Speaker
So this perception from others became actually my own perception of myself. Absolutely. Let's say this again.
00:16:45
Speaker
Because of how people perceived me consistently, constantly, over and over, this perception from others that I'm not capable, my voice is not important, then became my very own perception of myself.
00:17:05
Speaker
And then that is who we think we are, not good enough, too loud, not capable, lazy, fussy, annoying, clumsy, whatever it is, whatever this story is that you're hearing over and over and over again.
00:17:25
Speaker
Yep.
00:17:27
Speaker
And so I think this unpacking and discovering of self, that has been the most challenging and mind-blowing.
Embracing ADHD Identity and Personal Quirks
00:17:44
Speaker
And I'm still working through that, of course. Yeah, it's a lot. You're having to see yourself through a new lens, challenge all of those beliefs, that identity. i have a lot of people who, you know, after their diagnosis and me included, there's like an identity crisis.
00:18:06
Speaker
Well, if I'm not... all of those things or all of those things, you know, the the word fussy, if I can view that for a new lens and say actually I am quite sensitive to my environment.
00:18:21
Speaker
So when I get to a new Airbnb, I am going to move the lamps and adjust the chairs and find the right spot, not because I'm a fussy pain in the arse but really Because I actually am sensitive to those things.
00:18:38
Speaker
And it feels good to find my spot and the right lighting and the comfy chair and the right spot with the coffee table. That feels good.
00:18:49
Speaker
doesn't have to be fussy. It doesn't mean I'm annoying. Exactly. And I like having conversations that go off on random tangents and, you know, change directions and come back and forget what we're doing. i enjoy that.
00:19:04
Speaker
So why does that mean I'm scattered? Maybe that means I'm having a bloody good time. i don't know. This is just a personal ah you reflection of that, but is something familiar for you in that?
00:19:18
Speaker
That is me to a T. And yeah, and even that just as simple as that, the, the, the needing to be comfortable but also the need for others to feel comfortable and and moving things around and getting the lighting right and and the cushions and and then the snacks and, oh, do you want a tea as well? Oh, what about this and this and The vibe. The vibe. It's all about the vibe, isn't it? It feels good.
00:19:49
Speaker
i just reminded of something interesting A few weeks ago I was on a careers panel for psychology students and um there was a psychologist on there. I don't know if she's neurodivergent, but she she seemed like it to me.
00:20:06
Speaker
But one of the things she said um in one of her fast-talking, excited ways, she's like, and, you people boring. Why doesn't any adult ever ask me what my favourite dinosaur is anymore?
00:20:19
Speaker
Like what's wrong with people? Dinosaurs are cool. And I'm like, I like you and that is true. And I just learned that Brontosaurus means thunder lizard and I'm gonna get that printed on a t-shirt.
00:20:34
Speaker
Side quest, side note, that made me laugh. Who's to say that's wrong? Why do adults? Why can't we ask each other what our favorite dinosaur is? ah What is your favorite dinosaur while we're here?
00:20:48
Speaker
She doesn't have one. I don't have one. You like them all equally? i like them all equally.
00:21:00
Speaker
You're going to find one and tell me later, all right? Keep thinking. You really put me on the spot there. I did. i did. i love it. i had a I've got a 14-year-old and ever since she was two, she's been reeling off dinosaur facts to me.
00:21:16
Speaker
ah So I know a lot about dinosaurs, but mainly because of her, to be honest. Yeah. Anyway, I'm really, really off on a tangent now. Here we were having a very deep and meaningful conversation ah about sense of self and and reimagining ourselves. But I think it is about, and don't know, did you feel that kind of identity crisis?
00:21:42
Speaker
Like if I'm not all of those things that imagined, who the hell am i Yes, I'm nodding, big nods. She's nodding, yes, she's nodding away.
00:21:53
Speaker
Yeah, that was the hardest. I know I said before i was talking about the most most challenging part of my my journey, but this, yeah, identity, huge one, and self-discovery.
00:22:09
Speaker
Honestly, what i've I've been trying to do is so slowly untangle these like ingrained patterned thoughts, habits, little voice in my head, um you know, telling me that I'm not enough and you're lazy and not capable and learning to untangle this in order to rediscover
00:22:44
Speaker
myself, my own identity, who I am. And then have been learning to re-love myself but yeah my own unique self and be proud of it and and build my own self-worth. Absolutely.
00:23:12
Speaker
Absolutely. and And on that, you know, I'm always mindful when I when i ask these things about strengths and struggles because, you know, many people ah find it a bit of a stretch or a challenge or aren't a big fan of the idea of there being strengths, especially if they're really deeply suffering in some of the challenges of, you know, I'm not here saying ADHD is my superpower, but also...
00:23:42
Speaker
there can be and are amazing things about the way we are in the world. I'm a big advocate in saying that without the neurodivergent individuals, we probably wouldn't have progressed as human beings.
00:23:57
Speaker
We're the creators, the innovators, the storytellers, the risk takers, the adventurers. And I'm just curious about you. You're a creative. Are there strengths you feel like are part of the neurodivergent self?
00:24:13
Speaker
I am a creative and and that's definitely, again, something that I'm, you know, learning to be proud of and these unique qualities that I have, these strengths. i love dancing.
00:24:35
Speaker
I love performing. I've always been a performer since i was a little kid. And that's the creativity um and the thinking outside of the box I have definitely carried through my whole life and now. I'm a drama teacher, passionate about drama, performing. I've always loved drawing. I've always loved writing.
00:24:59
Speaker
The drama teaching and how you said you you're a big advocate of, what did you say, and inclusivity in education and such, but the inspiration and the person that believed in you, is there something you could share about that that story and that moment? Yeah, absolutely.
00:25:19
Speaker
Like I said earlier, I always struggled in school and felt misunderstood, felt different.
Educational Challenges and Support
00:25:25
Speaker
And when I said say that I always struggled, what I really mean is that I more often than not failed miserably at almost everything.
00:25:34
Speaker
The one thing that I know I was good at and that I loved was drama at school. And my drama teacher, she was amazing.
00:25:47
Speaker
And honestly, she unlocked some things in me and helped me believe in myself. Honestly, from from her believing in me and then to me believing in myself, that changed my life.
00:26:04
Speaker
That was like the turning point for me and that was because I really wanted to go to acting school. I wanted to continue studying, acting, performing and there was no way that I would have been able to get into university.
00:26:20
Speaker
So you were failing because it wasn't aligned to the way you operate? It was a system that I know now that was designed for The academic, and a system designed almost to fail me.
00:26:38
Speaker
Like I did not fit in their system. The creative students were not acknowledged at school at all. The school that I received, and there was no way with that school I was able to get into university.
00:26:53
Speaker
But it wasn't a reflection of your capacity. Correct. We could do a whole episode on schooling and how it doesn't fit the neurodivergent individual, right? So it didn't reflect your capacity and you weren't going to get in with that alone. Exactly.
00:27:09
Speaker
And so my drama teacher, she helped me make that happen, um spoke to the principal and pushed for a principal's recommendation and a teacher's recommendation by her send to the university that I wanted to to go to.
00:27:26
Speaker
And that allowed me the opportunity to meet with the acting school and have an interview with them and also an audition so that they were able to actually see me, speak with me, see my talent, my skills. And I was able to get straight in after that.
00:27:49
Speaker
Oh. I love. Yeah.
00:27:53
Speaker
Amazing. And it sounds like this is something that you now are able to give back in that same, that same sort of way to your students. Is that right? Yeah, exactly. Absolutely.
Grace's Teaching Philosophy
00:28:05
Speaker
Now a high school teacher working in a low socioeconomic public school um in Canberra and now just so passionate about supporting our students, helping them to feel a sense of belonging and to help them see their strengths, their unique qualities and grow and build these connections with them.
00:28:33
Speaker
Like I said earlier with my drama teacher, that was the turning point for me because now as a teacher, I've realised that I have the ability to help students and if I can be that one teacher to support students,
00:28:52
Speaker
that one student and be that teacher that I hardly received, then I'm living out my purpose. Absolutely. You have kind of done a full circle on your identity, right? It sounds like you've been really redefining it through this lens of your neurodivergent self, through your capacity and your potential and living aligned to the way that you work in the world rather than feeling shameful about it.
00:29:23
Speaker
Exactly. And be that teacher that can actually get down to the student's level and connect and understand them through, yeah like you mentioned earlier, the the lens of my own experiences, my own challenges, struggles, confusion, mistakes, poor choices, and be real with them and build that relationship with them and then go on to learning.
00:29:52
Speaker
There is no point me trying to teach students who don't feel safe, who don't feel like they belong there, who feel isolated, who feel alone, students feeling those things, the last thing they're going to want to do is try to learn when they don't already feel like they are enough.
00:30:14
Speaker
And so that,
00:30:17
Speaker
that that understanding, has purely come from my experiences, my lived experiences. Absolutely.
00:30:28
Speaker
I love that journey. I'm actually capable of doing anything I put my mind to. Mic drop. I am capable of doing anything I put my mind Exactly. But it's so true.
00:30:43
Speaker
And for so long I didn't believe in myself. Now I'm like, no, I can do anything. The world is my oyster. I've always loved drawing. I've always loved writing.
00:30:54
Speaker
I've always just written little little stories in my journal with little sketches from actually books. Since I was really little, I had this realisation or this revelation.
00:31:08
Speaker
I started writing a little little story about a certain character. ah had a lot me in it. I honestly really started to discover a lot more about myself through this writing.
00:31:20
Speaker
i was like, you know what, Grace, you can write a book. You are fully capable of writing a children's book.
Creative Projects and Personal Journey
00:31:28
Speaker
Let's do it. So you have this children's book in the process. It's a work in progress for you. Following on from the episode with Bridget Jarvis so and and we're talking about the creative self and what inspires and motivates you. This is a solo project.
00:31:48
Speaker
How do you keep momentum? do you know Nobody's holding you to a deadline. Nobody's holding you accountable. Yeah. Hard. Very, very hard.
00:32:06
Speaker
Okay, so we're going to hold you to account now. When are you going to finish this book? the Great question. The goal was the end of the year, but we'll see.
00:32:20
Speaker
End of the year sounds nice. It's going with the flow, isn't it? Exactly. Going with the flow, teaching great. my priority but the amazing thing with this little project is that it fills me up I will just sit and write and draw write and draw for hours the only thing that's really quite challenging is stopping myself the hyperfixation right yeah yeah And knowing that I have to mark.
00:33:00
Speaker
Eat and work and and connect to your loved ones. and Exactly. um But I think the driving force with this book is I just have this like strong feeling and my gut that this needs to be out in the world. It needs to get out in the world. It's a book but it's also an educational resource for teachers, for parents, for students.
00:33:34
Speaker
for little kids. And I think this this really strong urge to to actually finish this project, finish something that I've started for once. In this episode, we talk about that, right, that sometimes some of the other projects don't need to be finished. They were just there for the flow, for the process.
00:33:56
Speaker
But this one, this one is speaking to you in a different way. This one needs to emerge and be completed. Exactly.
00:34:07
Speaker
And that is different from the judgment of, oh, I never finish anything. This, this wants to be finished. This definitely wants to be finished. And I think. It is because resonates so strongly with me, also reflects my journey. Absolutely.
00:34:26
Speaker
My life. Which is similar to the children's book that I'm writing about neurodivergence as well. Okay, so we'll both have to finish out. We should compare notes.
00:34:37
Speaker
Oh, I can't wait to hear about it. What I was going to say was this is a really big one. In all honesty, I'm doing it for for me, really. Of course, sharing it to the world.
00:34:48
Speaker
but it started as a project for me. um You know, lots of healing and self-discovery in my writing. it The themes are around sense of belonging, identity, growth, personal purpose, community support. It essentially is a book that is around a little girl.
00:35:09
Speaker
It could be me, could be not, who knows? Mm-hmm. You see an experience all of these obstacles, these challenges through the life of little girl with undiagnosed ADHD, trying to figure her way out of all the chaos, all the storms, and has a lot of difficulty understanding herself, her emotions, why she can't be like everyone else. She wants to be someone else. She doesn't want to be her. She wishes that she could be perfect. Oh, my goodness.
00:35:45
Speaker
I'm just getting chills right now. I need you to finish this so I can give it to my little neurodivergent individual, please. Please.
00:35:56
Speaker
This sounds so beautiful and so cathartic and exact so important. You will be one of the first to receive the finished book. Don't you worry. It'll be in the mail. I cannot.
00:36:09
Speaker
I cannot wait. I'm so excited. i have absolutely loved chatting to you today, Grace. Thank so much for having me. Really appreciate your time.
00:36:20
Speaker
Thank you so much.
Conclusion and Listener Invitation
00:36:22
Speaker
so if you would like to share your ADHD story and be brave like Grace and come on and just, you know, be part of the community,
00:36:35
Speaker
Share whatever it is you've got to say, whether you're a parent or a friend or a loved one of somebody that's neurodivergent, whatever it is, I'd love to hear about it. ah You can find me at awakenadhd.com.au awakenadhd on Instagram.
00:36:54
Speaker
Not that I am very regular and probably never will be, but I'm there. I'd love to hear from you. But until then, stay your neuro-sparkly selves.
00:37:08
Speaker
This podcast is not a licensed mental health provider. It represents the personal opinions and experiences of individuals. No content should be taken as professional advice or recommendation.