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E.12 Pressing In and Rising Up: Natalia Zacharin on Uncovering Your Inner Strength and Chasing Your Dreams at Any Age
25 Plays4 months ago
Hey friend, welcome back to Oh, There You Are! Today’s episode is one you do not want to miss. I’m sitting down with the incredible Natalia Zacharin, a powerhouse of resilience, determination, and transformation.
Natalia’s story is one of pressing in and rising up—from overcoming poverty, domestic violence, and health struggles to building a multi-million-dollar business and finding deep love and fulfillment later in life. She’s proof that no matter where you are right now, you are not late—your time is now.
In this conversation, we dive deep into:
💡 The pivotal moment when Natalia realized she was the common denominator in her challenges—and how that awareness changed everything.
💡 The mindset shifts that helped her break free from survival mode and step into abundance.
💡 Starting a business as a last resort—and turning it into a thriving success.
💡 How taking responsibility for your life can feel empowering instead of overwhelming.
💡 The role of self-belief and accountability in making big life changes.
💡 Why it’s never too late to create the life, love, and success you deserve.
Natalia’s journey is a testament to the power of resilience, self-trust, and taking action—even when the odds feel stacked against you. If you’ve ever felt stuck, behind, or like your dreams are out of reach, this episode will ignite a fire in you.
You can reach her at https://zacharinconsulting.com/home-page
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Transcript
Introduction to 'Oh, There You Are'
00:00:00
Speaker
Hey friend, I'm so glad you're here. Welcome to, Oh, There You Are. This is the podcast for anyone who's ready to step out of the shadows of self-doubt and into the life they've always dreamed up. I'm your host, Danielle, a wife, mom, and registered nurse who spent way too long believing my voice didn't matter. But guess what? It does, and so does yours. If you've been holding back, waiting for the perfect moment, or telling yourself you're not enough, this is your reminder. You are more than enough.
00:00:35
Speaker
You've always been enough. Everything you need is already inside you. In this space, we're going to push past fear, stop hitting snooze on life, and start going after what we really want. Each week, I'll bring you solo episodes and interviews with people who had the courage to go first so that you can go next. So grab your favorite drink, settle in, and let's go.
00:00:59
Speaker
And hey, don't forget to hit subscribe so you never miss an episode because we're just getting started. And remember, you're not late. You're right on time. And I can't wait to see where this journey takes us.
00:01:17
Speaker
Hey, friend. Welcome back to, Oh, There You Are.
Natalia's Past Challenges and Realizations
00:01:21
Speaker
Today's guest, Natalie Zachron, is a living testament to the power of resilience, self-belief, and transformation. In 2018 and 19, she found herself facing poverty once again and struggling through years of unfulfilling and short-lived relationships. Despite coming from a well-established family, earning a college degree, working hard and living with integrity, Natalia felt as though life was punishing her for being a good person. She grappled with feelings of not belonging and doubted she would ever find someone to truly love her.
00:01:57
Speaker
In a pivotal moment, Natalia realized that she was the common denominator in her challenges, a painful but transformative realization. Taking full responsibility, she began a journey of self-discovery and growth. She immersed herself in learning about relationships, finances, and mindset. Through the process was painful and a journey ongoing, Natalia came to see that every hardship led her to the life she has today.
Starting a Business at 50
00:02:25
Speaker
Now Natalia natalia is engaged to a wonderful partner, living in a spectacular home and running a multi-million dollar business she built from the ground up.
00:02:36
Speaker
Remarkably, her journey truly began the year she turned 50, with no prior experience in business and no initial desire to be an entrepreneur. Starting her business wasn't a dream, but a necessity, her last resort to rise out of poverty. Her story includes overcoming domestic violence, health challenges, financial hardship, and supporting her daughter through trauma. Despite everything, Natalia refused to give up.
00:03:03
Speaker
She believes her story serves as proof that it isn't too late to chase your dreams, embrace challenges and create the light you've always desired. Natalia's passions is helping others understand that they too have the strength to rise to the occasion, press into their challenges and uncover the power within. She's here to remind us all, you are not late. No matter your age, your dreams are still within reach.
00:03:31
Speaker
Natalia, I'm so happy to have you here. Thank you, Danielle. I'm so excited to be here. Wow. Listening to you talk about me like that in the third person. Like I'm like, wow, that's an incredible journey. And then I'm like, I can't believe it's actually me. It's so exciting, you know, being able to put yourself in. It is, it's hard to hear people talk about us, but I'm really glad that it stirs up a very proud feeling because you should be so proud from thank you i'm really just being determined. Yeah, you're welcome.
00:04:02
Speaker
I
The Power of Gratitude and Resilience
00:04:03
Speaker
just want to share quickly with others, you know, i I shared this with you when I first met you that I really believe you are here and I met you because I've lost my father-in-law a couple years ago and um he graduated from University Park, you know, down in and um Maryland and he was a master gardener and on your profile and had mentioned just those things and I really just feel it was like him up there cheering me on saying, Danielle,
00:04:29
Speaker
You're in the right place at the right time right now and providing a platform for others to share their story. And I'm so proud of you. So when I saw that, I was just like, this lady, we need to connect because she has something to offer this world and they need to hear your story. So thank you again for being here.
00:04:48
Speaker
You're welcome. So we'll just start with a question then,
Overcoming Negative Self-Talk
00:04:51
Speaker
you know, like I shared, your story is so inspiring. Can you take us back to the moment when you realized you were that common denominator in your challenges and how did that realization shape the journey going forward? Sure. So I feel like, um, there wasn't just like one pivotal moment. There were several.
00:05:13
Speaker
Um, one moment that I really, really remember when I realized I was literally the common denominator. I was, um, it was, I was getting my hair colored and I'd been going to the same hairdresser. Hairdressers are amazing therapists, right? Yes. Or sounding boards. So, um, and she's very religious and and a very spiritual, very positive person has a great life, wonderful children, wonderful marriage, um, doing what she loves to do. Uh, so I was, um,
00:05:41
Speaker
At some point she had
Achieving Business Success
00:05:43
Speaker
left her um where she was doing hair at a store and opened up like her own little hair salon, but it was like in her house. And I think it allowed us to really speak more deeply because it was just us in her basement. And so I went all the way to her house and I was telling her again about yet another failing relationship. So I became a single in 2012.
00:06:09
Speaker
And I didn't meet someone that im you know, the the man that I'm now engaged to, I didn't meet him until mid 2018. So six years of me like trying to find someone and going through relationships and it not working out yet again. So like in this process of ah yet again, I'm dating someone yet again, it's not working out. And she sits me down after she finishes my hair and she says, I love you very much. I want to pray for you.
00:06:37
Speaker
But I want to tell you that everything that's happening to you is because of you. And you need to let it go. And and because she's a religious, she said, let it go and let Jesus decide for you. And I'm not that religious. So I was like, whatever. And on my ride home, it was like a 45 minute drive home because I like follow her everywhere. She's still my hairdresser. Oh, yay. hu So on my ride home, i'm like little I'm thinking about it and thinking about it and frustrated at first and kind of angry at the information and then And then thinking about it. And I remember I'm driving already on my road for like the last, you know, half a mile of the trip and it hits me. I'm the common denominator. And I just start bawling in my car, just crying uncontrollably. um And I think that was like one of those moments where I had to give up the idea that I'm a victim. I had to give up the idea that things were just happening to me and I had to make things happen for me.
00:07:37
Speaker
And that was kind of like the start of it, of you can actually create the life you want. It's not easy. Some people it comes to a little bit, like some people are a little bit more maybe intelligent about it or lucky or they figure things out a little bit easier. I'm a late bloomer. I do not figure things out very easily. It was extremely painful. And, but now I really get it. Like, and so when it hits you,
00:08:06
Speaker
And you're like, okay, so now what? um It gives you so many opportunities that you have control. You can you can make changes when you take full responsibility. Well, I think it comes to a time when you actually want want the change, right? You have to have that desire. And it has to start with from in, and you have to be open to it. And
Encouragement and Empowerment at Any Age
00:08:31
Speaker
I really believe when our hearts are open for the next step of like, hey, I'm tired of sitting in this. I'm not wanting to play the victim anymore, and dismiss that victim mentality. The right people come into your lives um to hear what you you know to share what they what that lady did with you. you know She shared her heart, and you know and you were open to hear it. so that's
00:08:53
Speaker
what I hear from you sharing that you have to be open and ready. Yeah, I think so too. Just like I was so done with it. If she had even told me the same thing, maybe even a year prior, I would have probably brushed it off and be like, Oh, she's just religious. You know, but that's not true. um You know, it did come from her heart and she saw something that I wasn't seeing. Yeah. Yeah, very cool.
00:09:17
Speaker
So you talk about facing poverty, domestic violence, health struggles and so much more. What kept you going during the darkest moments? And where did you find your strength? You know, you said you're not that religious. So where did you find your strength to keep going? Yeah, I am spiritual. I do believe in God. I am somewhat religious. It's funny because I used to be very, very religious. And I'm kind of so that became a little bit of a struggle because I'm like, how can I be so religious and really depend and then and then have a ah a relationship that I'm fearful for my life, and like, and felt abandoned. And I think so that's still coming around. I'm still healing from that trauma and trying to figure things out. um But um getting strength, there were so many times where I wanted to give up. And a lot of times even had, you know, suicidal thoughts, like many, many times. And one of the things I was like, well, first of all, I have a child, I can't leave her. And
00:10:18
Speaker
you know, leave her to struggle and leave her alone, because she doesn't really have anybody else. I don't have any other children. She's the only child. I can't count on her dad, obviously. And she's not close to my family because of him. So I feel like she would really, really be alone. And the other part was, it's so selfish to do that, because there's a there's a really big statistic, a very high percentage of kids or other family members that commit suicide if someone else does. So I felt that that was an extreme burden and rightfully so and because it's really, really unfair. And then once you check out, there's no going back. So I kind of was like, all right, well, I don't want to check out because motive things change. Like literally things can change tomorrow or next the next hour. Anything can change. So anybody that's really, really struggling, I want you to know.
00:11:12
Speaker
but anything can change literally within like five minutes, an hour, the next day, next week. Like you just don't know when that change is going to happen. And that part of that change is actually within you. So what kept me going was just the fact that this isn't the way it should be ending. And then I can't do this to my daughter. And that was like the bear. That was when I was at my absolute lowest. Um,
00:11:38
Speaker
Now, when things are really, really challenging and things are better, I really lean on gratitude. So I keep thinking of like where I started, where things were, how things have progressed. Because we we tend to look forward. We don't really look backward. And we tend to look forward and be disappointed that maybe we didn't you know achieve those goals that we thought we would. um And instead of being disappointed, like look backwards and see where you came from, because you you have made movement, you have changed, you have progressed in some way. um And so thinking about how far I've come and and looking at that, and then also thinking about like, this is still first world problems. I'm not living in a war torn country. um I have rights, I have opportunities, and things can change on a dime. I live in a free country. um Like there's so many things to be grateful for, even when you're feeling like
00:12:36
Speaker
You know, my financial my finances are terrible. My health is terrible. Everything's falling apart. I have no friends. You actually still have a lot of opportunities. And you still, just the fact that you're like listening to this podcast, you have some kind of opportunity and some kind of wherewithal to to change things and make things better. Yeah. Yeah. And stopping and looking and understanding how to be in the present moment, right? Yeah. Yeah. oh yeah That was a big one in the present moment. And then looking at other people that actually things are really terrible for them. Like, I don't have cancer. um You know, it's like, how dare I be so distraught when there are people that are truly suffering? And and that's that's humbling. um And then laying, and did they the key to living in the present moment for me was laying in bed and like, I might be out on the street.
00:13:28
Speaker
I might lose the home and my child and I might be out on the street any day now, but at this very second I'm, I'm, I'm okay. I'm still alive. I'm in my bed. I'm okay. And that's how I kind of learned how to live in the moment too. That's so good. It is so good. And so then you said turning 50 was a huge pivotal moment for you.
00:13:52
Speaker
um I know we talked about gratitude. and We were talking about being present. Were there any other mind shifts that helped you then to begin building the life and the business that you have today? Yes. i'm A really big one, I realized I had a lot of negative self-talk. Now, part of it happened when I was really young. I've never had a really strong self-esteem. I married someone that was pretty brutal to me and made me feel really terrible about myself. I left the marriage feeling like I was stupid, ugly, old, not fun, ah disgusting, like all all the bad feelings, right? All the bad feels. And so um that lingered those bad feelings. And those thoughts lingered with me for several years after the marriage dissolved. And I remember I went to
00:14:43
Speaker
um a discussion that a friend that I had met at a women's networking group that said that she was going to have a little discussion at her home and I decided to go. I had nothing else to do at the time because my daughter was, I shared custody for a while. So I went to her home and she was doing this talk and she was incredible in the sense that she um had been in the military and she struggled with addiction. I think it was actually math.
00:15:13
Speaker
or Coke, or maybe even crack, I don't even know, but it was something pretty serious. yeah And she was talking about how she struggled with addiction on and off her entire like for most of her adult life, that she would go back into rehab, feel like she got cleaned up, get out of rehab, and then yeah she would you know get into drugs again. And then she'd go into rehab, clean up, and then it would happen all over again. And there there was a cycle, and she realized that part of the cycle was the fact that her self-talk um was really negative and that she was getting something out of the drug. right So she realized like when you're addicted to something, you're physiologically, physically, chemically, mentally, and psychologically getting something out of it. And she as she's talking about her addiction, I'm starting to see the correlation between being addicted to drugs and being addicted to negative self-talk.
00:16:08
Speaker
um And she was saying how every time she wanted to do drugs, the thought of doing them was even it was more exhilarating than the actual doing of them. And so I was like, wow, you know, like my negative self talk is still it's it is changing the chemicals in my brain. It is, you know, it's spiking cortisol and spiking all these chemicals and you get addicted to it. And it's also a habit um that it's like, ah you know, a well worn path in the woods.
00:16:38
Speaker
that I have to change. So I left there thinking, I need to change the way I think. And then I started doing research on it. And I read What to Say When You Talk to Yourself. That's what it's called. What to Say When You Talk to Yourself. It's a great book. And I started very intentionally changing my thought patterns. So I wasn't allowed to say, oh, you're stupid to myself, or you're ugly, or you're old, or whatever. So every time that thought came up,
00:17:06
Speaker
I would have to change that thought to, no, that's not helpful. Or no, that's not right. Or no, you're actually smart. And it felt very uncomfortable and very unrealistic. And I felt like I was not being a true to myself because I was so used to being so brutal. um But I kept doing it and doing it and doing it. And after like a year, I started feeling more natural. And I'm still very, I'm not nice to myself all the time.
00:17:36
Speaker
We're not perfect, you know you can't. yeah But I think that was really the first the first thing that really made a big difference. That's so encouraging. Because I mean, our minds, they are muscle. And the things that we continue to tell ourselves over and over and over again, that's what's going to continue to present. And that's all we're going to see. And it is really good. i I completely hear that because I know over this last year, I've been struggling as well with the same thing, and just knowing that it doesn't have a place here anymore. So I know if we if we hurry up and have that thought come in, if we just pause and be like, no, those are lies.
00:18:13
Speaker
Right. That's what I've been learning, that they're just lies about us. They're things that we've told ourselves over and over and over and nobody placed them on us, but us so ourselves. Right. yeah know Yes. Or it was validated by someone else because we look for validation. Correct. yeah So you might find people that are mean to you or not nice to you or validate those feelings. Yeah, it's ah it's interesting because I didn't even believe it. I was like, no, I actually am dumb. um But I was like, but no, you're not allowed to say that to yourself.
00:18:43
Speaker
And so even not believing it, it's still sort of changing. And like, that is just not true. and And I wasn't believing the fact that I was saying it's not true, but just I think it became just a habit. Yeah. Wow, that's so encouraging. so And just like you said, it it doesn't happen instantly, but being patient with yourself and just giving yourself grace and just learning to work on that every day. And I think that's where the gratitude, you know, journaling, I talk about this all the time, but um having that time to sit down and even just writing three things a day that you're grateful for, you know, looking for evidence of the things that are changing around you.
00:19:19
Speaker
is I feel like that's kind of my goal for this next year is that I want to not just speak it. I think it's important to write it down so that you can actually read it back. um I mean, because we all learn so differently. And I know I learned by hearing, seeing, doing, and I think to really help with the change process, you know, write it down, read it again, and seeing it and not giving yourself a choice each day. Oh, I'll look at it later, but look at it every day, like you said, creating those habits. So yes, it's a habit.
00:19:46
Speaker
And writing it does something different to your brain also. So it really, like that the mind-body connection is really, really strong. So I agree with you, journaling and writing things are are really important. um I would even say, I started following like some podcasts and some other folks that would talk about, and and you know, NLP, neuro-linguistic pathology, not pathology, but it's ah it's basically changing the way you think yeah of like being excited about the future and grateful at the same time, even if you don't know what it is. Just being just like creating feelings that are
00:20:22
Speaker
ah not real because your brain doesn't know what's real and what's not real. That's right. I hear about, you know, like you have these goals and these places that you want to head to that you just need to act and live as if it's already happening. Right. And just believing. And then, the you know, the next step, everything will just kind of fall into place because you're giving walking out, believing it because you don't have another choice. Like this is already here. Like I'm so excited. Right. And yeah yeah, that's what I've been learning along the way. So hearing it again from you. That's so cool. Yeah. It actually was another pivotal moment. I was really jealous. I would say like in 2020, when everybody really turned into social media, Ian Moore, and there was like so many people like about their travels and their life and you know anniversaries and all this stuff happening. um Actually, it was before 2020, because people were traveling. So before 2020, probably in 2019, I would say. And I was starting to get jealous of like all these things that I'm seeing. i'm like
00:21:19
Speaker
they've got a trust fund or ah whatever, you know, they're so lucky. And then I was, and I stopped myself and I thought, wait a minute, I, there's no reason why I don't have that life. um You know, there's, I might as well just start being grateful and excited and happy that I live just like they do. And I started of thinking that way, even though it wasn't true, I hadn't traveled anywhere, but I just started thinking about like, yeah, that's amazing. I'm, I'm in that same league And literally like a year later, I was in a different league. So um your brain starts to look at like it's like a beacon. And then your brain starts to form a plan that gets to that point B as quickly as possible if you're believing in that point B. That's exciting. And it goes back. I mean, you had shared that you were in a job and they were kind of wanting to demote from where you were and you weren't feeling like you were going to be able to you know get paid just because you were an older woman and that they just weren't seeing the value and seeing the worth. And somebody called out your worth and your value. So then you took that and ran, right? And created the business and the life that you have now. So do you want to speak on that? Sure. Yeah. So I was working. I finally, I found myself in poverty several times over my lifetime.
00:22:37
Speaker
In 2012, I did when I first got separated, and then things got better. I got a job um at ah at a corporation as their invoicing clerk. And the CFO there was an older guy, and we really got along. And he gave me like a lot more responsibility than opportunities, and actually increased my salary to a livable wage. Still not you know lighting setting the world on fire, but definitely very livable.
00:23:04
Speaker
And he told me before he left that they were gonna be making changes, that it was very expensive to have anybody there over the age of 45 and the majority of their employees were over the age of 45. And so he left and they hired this other CFO who's like 20 years younger um and he started demoting me slowly until I found myself the last year they were pushing me out. So they demoted me and basically halved my salary and put me at a level which is considered poverty for the state of Maryland for a family. So I couldn't make ends meet. And I kept, I saw the writing on the wall, even before it was happening, I started desperately looking for work and sending out resumes and everything, and no one was hiring. um Even though I was trying to, may not make it, like i like I took off the dates of my, you know, when I graduated, I took off like the last 10 years off my resume. I made it, I tried to make it look like I was young and hip, but no one was biting.
00:24:05
Speaker
so So I had met my, the guy I'm engaged to now. I just met him and actually met him on Bumble. So don't, you know, not believe that you can meet someone. That's right. Hey, you never know oh you're open and you never know where you might meet somebody. You never know where you might meet somebody. So I met him on Bumble and in May, 2018 was when we met and we're sitting in a cafe in I think September. So this is like a really new relationship.
00:24:33
Speaker
We're sitting in a cafe in Annapolis, and um he knows like my predicament, that I'm like losing money, and I don't know what I'm going to do. And um he says to me, why don't you start your own business? And I'm like, Timmy, what? like I thought it was a joke. um And he's like, I don't know, accounting. He was an accountant. He's his DPA. So I was like, that's kind of funny. But then I kind started thinking about it.
00:24:59
Speaker
I can probably do like maybe learn bookkeeping and do it on the side. I know people do that kind of stuff. um So he sent me like this program. It's a self-paced, self-taught program of like how to find clients, how to figure out what services you want, how to price them, um how to reach out to people on LinkedIn, how to send your first email campaign. So I don't know any better. So I start working through this program. It's it's very similar to what Sam Evans has, right?
00:25:28
Speaker
So there's like these programs all over. And so I start working through it thinking, well, at least I'll learn something, whatever. like I don't know if it's going to transpire and and be anything. And I still didn't think I would start a business. So I started going through this program. I think I started it in October. And in January, as and i was I was still working full time commuting an hour in one direction, seeing my mom. My kid is like in high school, going off the rails, hat you know still like having all kinds of issues herself.
00:25:58
Speaker
um And doing this like any moment that I can, like during lunch, in the morning before I go to work, in the evenings after she goes to bed, in the weekends, you know, whenever I can. And in January of 2019, I send my first campaign basically like I just start connecting with people on LinkedIn. um And then ah someone responds and says, I need your help. And on I called them and they're like, I need your help now.
00:26:28
Speaker
um like sign me up. And I didn't have anything like, na I didn't know how to take my payment. I had no terms. i like I had no idea what I was doing. And I'm like, sure. So I lost a ton of money because I did a way more work. I had no idea what I was doing. I did an entire cleanup. I was literally like, I learned accounting on YouTube. I learned QuickBooks and ah and bookkeeping on YouTube. So I was learning as I was going, but I didn't charge him for my learning, which you would never should charge for your learning.
00:26:56
Speaker
um And I actually undercharged him even for that because he needed like this big cleanup and I didn't know what I was doing. So I just cleaned it up without charging. Uh, but I ended up learning a tremendous amount. So the first, I'd say the first year I was working more than I ever have in my entire life and making less than I ever have in my entire life. um But you believed in something and you saw something and that big thing is you believed in yourself. That's what I'm hearing out of this.
00:27:24
Speaker
Yeah, I was like, well, um, every time I wanted to give up, I'm like, well, I'll just keep going. Cause I don't know. Like giving up just means it's gone and keep going. Well, I don't know what's going to happen. yeah So I just keep going. I got another client and then I got another one. So in August, uh, I decided like as the summer was approaching, I still didn't have enough clients to really quit my job. I couldn't even afford my rent or actually had a mortgage at that time. Cause my mortgage was less than, but then rent.
00:27:53
Speaker
I'd been in the house for a while. um And I was like, I can't do both. It's completely overwhelming. And I'm starting to not do a good job in either. and So I quit my job. I walked in the week I turned 50 and turned in my computer and said bye. All right. And um that was extremely terrifying and empowering. At the same time, my boyfriend, he he was still my boyfriend at the time he sent me the song. It was like this big rap song called when I listened blasting it in my car over and over and over again for the entire hour drive there. and How fun. How fun. And I'm totally nervous and terrified. And I quit. And then I decided that I was just like, I'm going to burn bridges. And I'm committing myself to this. And the universe knows I'm committing. And I have no other choice. I have to make it work. um And I just did. And in November, I got
00:28:53
Speaker
I think three more clients, actually I had four, I think I got eight more clients, so I tripled. wow Still not lining up the world, still barely making ends meet. But by January, like by December, January, I made my first six figures. I had never made that much money in my life. so um And then COVID.
00:29:13
Speaker
darn pesky thing. So I was like, oh, yay, I'm good. I call my mommy in March. I'm like, Mommy, I don't need help anymore. She was helping me financially. I'm like, I'm good. She's like, what happened? She had no idea I put my job. She had no idea I started something else. I didn't want to worry her. So I'm like, I'm good. I started a business and I'm doing well. You don't have to help me out financially. And that was March 2020. And then everything started shutting down in April at the like of the end of March and April was like, oh, no.
00:29:42
Speaker
So I had to pivot again. um and then i started and And that's the thing about business is that like you have to kind of see the writing on the wall and see what you could do. So then I was i had to figure out how to apply for loans. So people it's free to apply for a PPP loan or an EIDL, but most people don't know how to do it or don't want to do it. And so they're hiring they were hiring people.
00:30:05
Speaker
And so I'm like, well, I guess I'm going to figure out how to apply for loans. Yeah. And then you can help people. and I can help people. And that's what I did. OK. It's resourceful, right? Like you said, you see a need. That's what it's about, seeing a need, a problem. And then how can you serve? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I kept changing and switching. um And that's what it's just been. You know, it felt that way when I hired my when I hired my first employee.
00:30:33
Speaker
super scary. I realized I was completely overworked and I couldn't afford someone. So I'm like, Oh, I'm charging incorrectly. Like I have to fix this because I have so much work, I can't keep doing it. And I can't grow and I can't build. And I can't afford to hire someone. So it's my pricing. um So I doubled my pricing. And um and then I hired someone and that was scary. And um they worked out for a while and then I had to fire them. And um so it's It's a consistent learning. So I haven't stopped learning. We're five years in. It's going to be six years in January. Um, and I have, uh, uh, 11 employees right now. I had 12, someone else we had to let go, but I have 11 employees right now. Um, and we're at multi-million.
00:31:20
Speaker
Look at you. Yeah, I know. I always tell people I know we're not people can't see videos, but i I know that they can feel your joy and your smile through your words. And because like, I'm just looking at you, you're just it's so big. Your smile is so big. And I love it. I love it. Yeah. So to that, though, I have written down here that what would you say to people who feel then that they've missed their chance at success or happiness? ah You know, what if I told you uh, that you can find the love of your life. What have I told you? You can become a millionaire, like guaranteed. Those are things that are guaranteed. If you just keep really being self-aware of what you're doing, read a ton. So you really learn like, what are you doing wrong? Um, like look back on you and don't blame yourself. You don't know. We're not like born with these skills.
00:32:16
Speaker
Um, it's okay. A lot of us, uh, most of us that having great things happen to us, uh, it's luck to be like, don't pat yourself on the back too much either. Um, but like you can be all those things and it's pretty much guaranteed. And the only reason why you're not is because you haven't figured that out yet or, or you're not willing to commit to it. It's, it's, it's pretty painful.
00:32:45
Speaker
There's a sacrifice involved, a lot of self-awareness, self-realization, a lot of learning and reading, but it's ah completely doable. So for instance, when I decided to change my perspective on dating and finding someone, I was like, I'm going to find the love of my life if I have to search for the day I die. like i Some people are like, oh, I don't care. And if you don't care, that's fine. Not everybody wants that. And not everybody wants to have a business. It's not for everybody. And that's fine.
00:33:13
Speaker
And that's, you know, you you do everybody does what they want to do. But if that's what you want, then you there's no reason to give up. And you just have to kind of learn. I kept reading books. So anytime I want to do something and figure it out, I read like five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10 books, like podcasts are are wonderful to learn a lot. That's like a faster way of learning books. Really, though, I like listen to podcasts and then read if I saw like an author that I thought was really great. I'd read a book because it's a lot more in depth. Yeah. um And then I would listen to things over and over again. So when it was a relationship, I was like, I'm um like accepting too much. Like, what do I really, really want? Write that down. It doesn't matter. It could be like, hey, if you want to find a millionaire that has a beard and is six foot tall with dark hair and blue eyes, there's probably a million of them out there.
00:34:10
Speaker
Write that down. Yeah. Yeah. And that's what you look for. um like I wanted someone that was close to me in age. I didn't want someone too tall. Like, I'm not kidding you. This is how specific I was. I don't like someone too tall because I don't want them overbearing. Don't forget I have that trauma. um So I didn't want someone overbearing too tall. I do kind of like a beard. um I wanted someone that had a professional job, had been married, had children, because then they can relate to what I'm doing.
00:34:39
Speaker
and had a ah profession, you know, did well financially. um So I was kind of like keeping that in mind. And then anybody that didn't fit into that, whether it was physical, mental, maybe it was their habits, like anything at all that didn't work out for me, I was like, okay, who's the next guy who's and I figured that dating and and even when you work for someone, it's not a matter of if they're good or not good. There's all there all those people are wonderful. There's not a good fit. Yeah.
00:35:09
Speaker
You know, like I met some wonderful, wonderful men, some of whom I'm still friends with. um They just weren't a good fit. yeah I was like, this guy doesn't like to travel. He's he's a homebody. It's not for me. Well, because you don't need to settle, right? You're gonna, yeah, you shouldn't have to settle. There's something that you wanted and you knew what you what you needed and desired. And why should you have to settle?
00:35:31
Speaker
Yeah, you don't settle, and you don't, you have to be really self-aware that you're not a jerk, right? Yeah. And there's a feeling. You do get that feeling. There's just inner inner voice and intuition. It speaks to you, you know. Yeah. So it's just like don't you know like, why wait till it works out and see if it works out late? I know. There's like even a moment, like especially in the beginning, like why wait? Just be like, OK, next.
00:35:59
Speaker
Well, then went really hard yeah, definitely. Well, that goes along with like how we were talking about not being late. So that phrase, you aren't late. What has that meant to you? And why is it so important to share the message with others? Because it goes back to, like you said, you didn't start living till you were, you know, 50. So yes. Um, and I still have challenges. And honestly, my challenges haven't changed that much. They're actually even harder. I'm just more resilient because you, you build resilience.
00:36:28
Speaker
And those things aren't as important. like I still have health challenges. I still have health issues. I so i work my butt off. I'm constantly learning. um its It's a lot. But I've learned to deal with them and be grateful and be excited about it. So ah the resilience has really built over the years. um It's really never too late. like While you're still living and breathing, it's really not too late.
00:36:54
Speaker
and If you're feeling, I have felt many times in my life where things were just surpassing me. Like I'm like, oh, great. Another friend is having a 30 year anniversary. I'll never have one, right? That's feeling sorry for yourself. Like who cares? A lot of them have 30 year anniversaries and they were never that happy. that's right Or maybe they were, but so what? Maybe you won't have a 30 year anniversary, but maybe you'll have a two year anniversary and it would be the best two years of your life. And you don't want to think that way. Cause everybody's like, that's not enough time.
00:37:25
Speaker
or I want to be happy sooner. um But I think it's building resilience and happiness along the way, along the journey, without the the reward of like, I'm, there were many times where I was working on relationship, you know, working on or getting ah into a good relationship and working on, um and and working on the business where I felt like I was hitting rock bottom, hadn and then rock bottom was even lower.
00:37:56
Speaker
i But then I hear that too, though. I mean, we talk about happiness, that we get to choose what happiness looks like to us, what what freedom looks like to us, and to know that it's an inside job. So learning to recognize yourself and to choose that happiness within you and circling back to the present moments, like those are all choices. Yes. you And honestly, the more you choose happiness, resilience,
00:38:24
Speaker
um gratitude, the more you have that make those choices, the faster you're going to get to where you want to go. Yeah. And so with that, if somebody is listening and feeling stuck or defeated, what's the first step you would encourage them to take to start their own journey towards self discovery and transformation? I would say, um listen to the voices. Like, what are you saying to yourself first and change that, ah you know,
00:38:54
Speaker
Again, read a lot. That's really helpful. Like learning is is extraordinary. We can never learn enough. And it's it can it's it's pivotal. um So it really can change your life. Really look at what you're saying to yourself. um I think physical fitness is very underrated as a way to make ourselves feel better. it it If you're just starting, it's brutal and it feels awful. But within two weeks, you can start seeing like little changes and things are getting just a tiny bit easier. And then eventually like that dopamine starts to kick in. So like taking walks, meditation, if you can, I have never been good at meditating, but meditation is really good for you. If you can, if you can do that, yoga, I love yoga, weightlifting, walking, reading. I love to listen to books on tape while I'm walking. um Like those things really, really help for your mindset as well.
00:39:46
Speaker
So look and see what your voices are are saying, what your inner voices are saying to you and change those. um And just like create a plan. like Where do you want to be next year? And then what do you have to do to be there? like So if you want to be in a relationship um and you're not in a great relationship, you have to really think about that. like Or if you're in a relationship that's not great, like buty what are you going to do to change it? like Don't stay in a relationship that's not great.
00:40:13
Speaker
look at yourself, look at your relationship and see what you can change and get help. Or if you're not in a relationship, look and see what you can do to get into one. Don't just say, I want to be in a relationship and then never go on a date. yeah It's like wanting to win the lottery, never buying a ticket. No, very true. This has been a really good conversation and I greatly appreciate your time and you spending the evening here with us today. And um again, what I hear from it is look for opportunities to be open, look for the positive changes that you can start with yourself as in stop being such a bully to ourselves and seeing our worth, and right? And seeing the value that we all bring to the world. yeah We're all needed out here. And listen to the cues. The universe is really pointing you in the direction. So if something doesn't work out, if the relationship isn't working, if the job isn't working, then there's something better out there.
00:41:12
Speaker
yeah And yeah, just always be open. I love it. So is there anything else that you would like to share or enlighten us with? It's just been a really good day. but Yeah, it's been a great day. you know Don't give up. and There's so many times I wanted her to give up. And look, if I had given it up, I wouldn't and wouldn't be running a multimillion dollar business in a beautiful home and engaged to a wonderful human being in a great relationship that is literally a dream.
00:41:42
Speaker
um And if you give up, you never know what's going to happen. So just keep going. Yeah. Oh, thank you. That is really beautiful. And as I always tell everybody too, if the desire for change, the desire to learn, the desire to start something new is in you, listen to it because it's never placed there if you're not capable of doing it in the first place. So exactly. Yeah.
00:42:08
Speaker
All right. Well, thank you again. And I wish you a happy marriage for whenever that is coming to be with this engagement. And yes, again, thank you for blessing the world and for sharing your transformation with us today. Thank you so much for having me. It was a lot of fun. And I really enjoyed chatting with you. yeah Thank you. Have a good day. You too. Good night.
00:42:30
Speaker
Thanks so much for hanging out with me today on, Oh, There You Are. Remember, everything you need to step into your power is already inside of you. So keep going, friend. You've got this. If today's episode inspired you, don't forget to subscribe so you never miss a new one.
Episode Conclusion and Free Journal Offer
00:42:47
Speaker
And I'd love to connect with you over on Instagram. Find me at, it's Danielle.thatstotme. Drop by, say hi. Let me know what resonated with you or just share your journey.
00:42:58
Speaker
And before you go, I've got something special for you. I'm offering a free seven day journal to help you start tapping into your potential and feel that mindset shift. It's designed to guide you through the steps of unlocking your power. You can grab it in the show notes below. Let's take this journey together. All right, friend, go make it happen. And remember, you're not late, you're right on time.