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The Spider Monkey Chronicles | Twilight Review
116 Plays1 year ago
Join us this week as we dive into another viewer requested movie, Twilight! Let us know what you think of this movie and follow us on all platforms!
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Transcript
Introduction and Twilight Opening
00:00:00
Speaker
I've never given much thought to how I would die, but dying in the place of someone I love seems like a good way to go. There we go. That is my wife opening us up for this episode of The Average. I'm Tim. I'm Bryce. I'm Bailey. And I'm Megan.
Summary of Twilight
00:00:25
Speaker
And if you're familiar with that quote, or you look at the thumbnail, you know that we're diving into Twilight tonight.
00:00:34
Speaker
God, I love your requests. Especially when the viewer is my wife. We should have cut her off, honestly, before she even got the chance. Anyway. All right. Who wants to have the honors of going through the summary of this movie? We're going to let the wives kind of lead this one. They're going to kick it off, do most of the talking. So those of you who can't stand the sound of her voice, you're in luck.
00:00:59
Speaker
Yeah, we're gonna let them leave this on. So ladies, if you wouldn't mind, however you need to in a decent amount of time, just give us a quick summary of this movie without, you know, taking too long.
00:01:10
Speaker
Yeah, so 17 year old Bella ditches her mom and moves to Forks, Washington, where everything is rainy and everyone's really pale. And then she meets Edward, who, spoiler alert, is a vampire. And she enters into the world of vampires and playing baseball.
00:01:30
Speaker
And she almost I can't spoil anything but it's been out It's been out
Twilight's Cultural Impact
00:01:37
Speaker
long enough. You don't know people may not have watched it No, our rule is once it's available to stream or buy on DVD Anyway, she almost dies, but she doesn't so that's about it. And it's based off of the critically acclaimed book series by lights I go by Stephanie Meyer
00:01:54
Speaker
And I just want I just have a question real quick. She almost died at the end of that movie because she smelled good. Yes. Is that basically? No, no. That's basically what Edward thought. She smelled bad. Do you not remember that pivotal scene in biology class? Well, no, I get that. But the other guy was like, Oh, I swear to God, this is going to be the longest episode I've ever been in. It was his own personal brand of heroin. But yeah, it's pretty much one of the best movies of all time.
00:02:25
Speaker
uh we have to do we're getting ahead of ourselves but yeah let's dive into this go let's yeah let's just kick this okay yeah she thinks we're going to do the rest of the series uh the first time i watched this was actually a deal with bailey that she would watch this or i would watch this with her if she would watch the dc movies with me
00:02:46
Speaker
Yeah, no, I remember that. I will comfortably say I have actually never seen this full movie in one sitting. I've seen so many. Until now. And let's just say three glasses of rum later. Yeah, I finally got through it. No, you know what? No, not gonna think after that. So what would you give the story then, Bryce?
00:03:04
Speaker
I'll
Character Analysis
00:03:24
Speaker
No, there's no story. It's not a story. It's just it's like a it's more like it's like a Oh, what is it in high school with the theater kids? It's more kind of like an improv basically is what it felt like to me Like I felt like there's really like sure like oh you she ran away from mom. Oh, okay Well, it doesn't really hold a lot of weight. It seems for throughout the entire movie. Oh, she meets all the cool new kids in school Oh and okay. Yeah, I love love the one handsome dude. Okay, that's nice
00:03:29
Speaker
be
00:03:54
Speaker
I don't care. Yeah, I gave the story a zero. That might be too harsh. Maybe a one because there is somewhat of a very, very, very loose structure in this movie for a story. But I just think that the story holds like zero weight at all. And it's just kind of like a wild ride. I'm going to interject that. Go ahead, Bailey. Well, I gave the story a two because is it original? Is it good? No, but
00:04:24
Speaker
The grip that this story had on every preteen girl in 2008, you can't say the story had nothing. The only thing that was pretty good about it is that, I don't know. I guess that's good for itself. I don't know.
00:04:49
Speaker
It's entertaining, I think it's an entertaining story. And if you read the books, the books aren't very good either, but then you kind of get the story more. Yeah, my younger self ate this up, and I don't know why I did. I guess I just didn't know any better. I also gave the story a two, because I don't think it was very fair of Bryce to say there was no story, because there is a story.
Influence of Love Triangle Trope
00:05:10
Speaker
Just wasn't a very good one. I think that's a fair assessment of a two.
00:05:19
Speaker
I actually gave the story a five. I thought it was, no, I'm kidding. I gave it a one. I gave it a one. The whole vampire romance thing. Anne Rice has done it before. I'm pretty sure while Stephen King, I don't know if he did a romance, but Salem's Lot was pretty vampirey. The whole idea of Dracula is dripping in sensuality and romance. So doing a romantic vampire story, nothing new.
00:05:46
Speaker
targeting it to pre-teens and teens. I do think this gets some points on originality for that. I do not remember anything like this before it. However, after it was the next 15 years. We mixed in Hunger Games and we got either fantasy vampire werewolf romances or dystopian futures, and that's young adult fiction for years.
00:06:11
Speaker
Well, I feel like it kind of I don't think it introduced the love triangle, but it certainly made it popular, right? Like The Hunger Games had it. What was the vampire diaries that show was like?
00:06:23
Speaker
Yeah. When did that, did that come up before Twilight? I think it was right after. Okay. But yeah, I think this, I have to give it points because it brought something that has existed for years to a market where it was pretty new and forget that they completely destroyed vampires.
00:06:45
Speaker
It resonated with thousands of people. Sorry, let me clarify that. It resonated with thousands of little girls in middle school. They're still people, Bryce.
00:07:00
Speaker
Also, I want to add any parent that let their middle school girl watch this, I think probably did them a disservice because the amount of emotional manipulation we saw and just unhealthy relationship dynamics and girls stand for it. But how many moms took their daughters because the moms are eating it up, too? Yeah, that's true. A lot of the moms really enjoyed it, too. So I don't know what to say about us in society. They probably enjoyed it because of the character. So you want to kick off what you gave character, Megan?
00:07:27
Speaker
Uh, sure. Let me pull up my score. Okay. I gave the character a two. Um, yeah, like, I don't know if Bella is just unlikable or if Kristen Stewart is just really good at like making a character be unlikable. I mean, Bella is unremarkable. She's supposed to be awkward and in an endearing way. And it was just cringy. Edward Cullen was not great. Still trying to figure out what she's doing with that ketchup bottle.
00:07:58
Speaker
Did someone get this girl some ketchup? I actually thought Edward was kind of interesting. I like his backstory a little bit. I thought it was kind of cool that these vampires lived for hundreds of years just because I like timepiece stories, I guess. But that's about it. Otherwise, everyone's pretty forgettable. No one has some redeeming character arc, really. Chris or Bella just goes down the tornado of self-destruction.
00:08:27
Speaker
throwing away her life for this guy. That was probably one of the most unlikable characters in the whole thing. But like a lot of the characters aren't great, but I do remember wanting to be all of their best friends. Like I would have dreams about them, which is really embarrassing. So like I wanted Alice to be my best friend. OK, Alice is kind of cool. I wanted Carlisle to be my dad. Like they were just it was all there. Taylor Lautner is Jacob. So good.
00:08:58
Speaker
Yeah, I've seen cardboard cutouts do similar performances to Taylor Lautner in this movie. It ranks right up there with Brie Larson as Captain Marvel, some of the greatest cardboard performances ever. Well, in case you haven't heard, Taylor Lautner has been Marc Saved from Speed Now, Taylor's version. So, Jason. Anyway, Tim, go ahead. You're next. Bailey,
Music and Soundtrack Discussion
00:09:19
Speaker
you didn't actually give us your score for characters.
00:09:21
Speaker
Oh, I think I gave it to you. OK, yeah. So to I gave it a one for characters. They are the one stands for one dimensional because that's what most of these characters are. It's Taylor Lautner is the somewhat. Native American werewolf boy.
00:09:47
Speaker
Sure. Yeah. That's all you need to know. Bella's the awkward girl. That's all you need to know. Her dad is the sheriff. That's all you need to know that like everybody just fits so nicely into a cardboard stand out and delivers the lines with. Oh, that's acting. Sorry. There's no real like I think Edward.
00:10:22
Speaker
I watched all of them already and I'm good. All right. So, Bryce, please tell us what you thought of these characters. Oh, thanks for asking. I'm happy to share my thoughts. I know how much they matter to this episode. I also gave it a one. And it was literally just because the dad was like somewhat likable throughout the movie. Like, you know, I just kind of like connected with him for some weird reason. I was just like, you know what? I feel for this man because if my daughter was Kristen Stewart, I too would feel this way.
00:10:32
Speaker
is actually the most interesting of the characters uh you get a little bit more of his story but even then in the end he is he's
00:10:53
Speaker
dating one of those calling kids yeah I mean yeah none of these characters are memorable they're not likable I've seen bricks in a house act better than this CW acting better than this Tim let's not get let's not come on let's have some respect here
00:11:13
Speaker
uh i i think the now we'll get into that with the acting yeah the characters are pretty much worse than white bread in my humble opinion the dad's like that's likable and that's the only reason i gave it a one so outside of that yeah i think uh kristen belle's character bella whatever her name is she's so annoying i just don't like her at all oh god yeah huh and we're love you oh just so stupid anyway what's next
00:11:45
Speaker
next we jump into music and sound and let's let the wife start this one off yeah i gave the soundtrack a five because it's a banger like we got so many unique original tracks and then they threw in musa's piece at the baseball scene it's iconic no i also gave it a five because
00:12:03
Speaker
To this day, 15 years later, I have the Twilight CD in my car and I still listen to it because so good, like you said, the baseball scene, there's not one person on this earth that does not like that baseball scene. So good. We like it for different reasons. I don't know. I think it's hilarious. Also the just influence that the Twilight soundtrack had on the rest of my music choices for the next like 10 years changed my life.
00:12:33
Speaker
So I gave the music a one because Lincoln Park had a song in it. So what
Editing and Special Effects Critique
00:12:38
Speaker
song did they have? I don't know. It played out. It played in the credits. Leave out all the rest. I think. Yeah. So I guess I gave it a one because Lincoln Park. RIP Chester.
00:12:48
Speaker
yeah i actually gave this a three um and it wasn't really for a good reason it was just like there there is a really good set of songs here you got some paramore you got lincoln park you got muse and i mean the rest is pretty awful but like those songs on their own kind of just carry it up to three in my opinion the biggest issue was it's at the end of the freaking movie it's at the credits
00:13:13
Speaker
Why would they do that two of those songs that you mentioned are in the credits literally Like music is the only one in the movie. It's like why would you waste these great songs? Gosh, I have to listen to some random girl I Don't get it Bella or you want to play Bella song for us. Yeah, what's Bella song Bella song? Yeah Oh
00:13:40
Speaker
So yeah, anyway, three out of five. I actually like the songs. It's just they're poorly placed. So going to editing and special effects. What is that? OK, I put three for that because I thought it was just like fine. They did pretty good with the vampires flying through the air. I think. And you know, all the blood and stuff, but it was like nothing to write home about.
00:14:04
Speaker
Yeah, I gave it a two. I thought a lot of the cuts were pretty rough, even the camera angles. And the blue tinge. Yeah, okay. Yeah, that knocks off a lot of points. How could I forget about that? But I did appreciate that they did use some practical effects, but we were making fun of the vampires walking because it was obvious that they really got a treadmill.
00:14:27
Speaker
or on those airport moving conveyor belts. It was pretty bad, but it wasn't the worst editing I've ever seen.
00:14:35
Speaker
I also gave it to you and for a lot of those same reasons, there are some nice uses, maybe not nice, but skillfully done green screen moments that look better than Ant-Man and the Wasp. I'm going to keep a record of how many times you've mentioned Ant-Man and the Wasp and other reviews outside of Ant-Man and the Wasp. It is currently the standard for modern CGI badness. Okay, fair. No, it's fair.
00:15:02
Speaker
but there were a couple scenes that I was like oh that green screen actually looked decent like when they're up in the tree but then there's other moments that I'm like you're on wires and it's obvious or you are not interacting with that space properly like the walking way too fast
00:15:19
Speaker
Uh, but yes the gray tinged blue tinge to the movie Which had influence on so much after that as well from teen tv shows To teen movies that were trying to be like it influenced so much after that like even the first hunger games kind of had some influence for this But like megan stated the cuts are terrible
00:15:45
Speaker
There are some moments that I was like, what was that scene about? And then we just cut to something totally different with the same characters. And I hadn't it was bad. Yeah, I gave mine a one out of five. It was I mean, you guys basically said all the tent was.
00:16:02
Speaker
Pretty miserable to look at for an entire movie. The cuts were just all over the place. Just felt like they let someone's kid into the room to make the cuts for them. Yeah, them flying, it looked awful with, you know, what was clearly just strings attached to them.
00:16:17
Speaker
But to your point, I gave it the one because the landscape shots and some of those CGI shots, sorry, with a background, like their back, green screen shots, they actually did look like good, minus the blue tint, like it was some there's some decent like edit editing with the green screen there. And it did look good for, I guess, the time. But I guess out of that, it had the editing is just really, really rough.
00:16:40
Speaker
Perfect example of how rough it is is I think it's is it in a tick tock now or a meme? But when he saves her from that car, oh, yeah, and it's so poorly cut together and shot that you It's so horribly executed is rough. Yeah. Anyway, what's next?
Script and Dialogue Analysis
00:17:00
Speaker
What's next on the list? We have script up next script. Okay, dude
00:17:09
Speaker
Yeah, it was I don't know I don't have some notes on that I know how I feel Sometimes Bryce changes his scores mid-recorder. I like to I like to live a little bit on the edge His scores are living breathing things
00:17:24
Speaker
Yeah, exactly yeah, I gave it a zero this script was just like straight hot dog water it was Really really bad
00:17:37
Speaker
I don't think there was a single line spoken that felt natural in this movie by any stretch of the imagination. I think the best part about it was just after a few drinks in, listening to Bailey and Megan recite them and just make fun of how awful these lines were. No, go ahead. I also gave it a zero. Okay, yeah. You were on the same because
00:18:01
Speaker
I I almost could have given it a one because it's it's a script. It's so bad. It's funny Like I think I'm gonna stop you right there It is not so bad that it's funny Batman and Robin is so bad that it's funny This one was just like nails on a chalkboard. See I thought this movie is hilarious when he's talking about his sparkly skin It's so funny or the like
00:18:24
Speaker
What does Bella say about I knew three things for sure? Oh, yeah Here's what I say. I was on board with the script like for so bad. It's funny Five or ten minutes at the beginning after that. I was I was just waiting for him to say say it out loud vampire So you're saying it went from funny so bad. It's funny to so bad. It's sad Yeah, like I was just all like depressed by the end of it with that script
00:18:52
Speaker
All right. Let's let the wives discuss it. The guys are so harsh about it. I gave it a two because once again, this is not the first like the worst script I've ever heard. I actually give the movie people props. They did a really good job of staying true to the book. Some of those lines are straight out of the book. So the real person who needs a blame is Stephanie Meyer. And she's sitting on millions of dollars. So really, who is laughing?
00:19:21
Speaker
She's more successful than any of us in this room and She yes, but I would say the main part that made me cringe was not the three part the whatever she's talking about the three things or The vampire sparkling it was the spider monkey that makes my skin Makes my skin crawl. So that's why I gave it a two Yeah, I gave it a one because I can't deny it's pretty bad, but I
00:19:52
Speaker
You know, it is what it is. Like you said, it follows the book, really. So I don't know if you can blame the script script script script script at the end of that. I'm a math major. No, one of my favorites is when they pull up to the police station after that guy gets killed and Bella is just like, wait, what is going on? It's great writing. Well, and that delivery leads right into the acting.
Acting Performances Debate
00:20:20
Speaker
So why don't you?
00:20:21
Speaker
Yeah, what did I give the acting? I think I gave the acting a three. That is generous. But here's why. Like we said, I think we've all waken up to the fact that it's not Kristen Stewart, it's the script.
00:20:35
Speaker
It might be Kristen Stewart. I don't know. I think we've woken up to the fact that it's not Robert Pattinson. Darling, let me just break it down for you here. It is definitely Kristen Stewart. It is all Kristen Stewart. Sorry. Don't call me darling. Don't call me Shirley. No, yeah, it's Kristen in the script. So continue, please. Or take your swig of Coca-Cola. Oh, what else am I saying about that? TM. What? Acting. Oh.
00:21:01
Speaker
Yeah. Well, I guess it's just hard to also say because they were the like, Kristen and Rob obviously were the two biggest parts in that. Taylor Lautner is pretty bad. Yeah, that's not up for debate. Who else is in there? Carlyle. Yeah, they always have such small parts Jasper. What's his name? He was pretty bad. He's very bad. But
00:21:25
Speaker
Well, we even saw Anna Kendrick in there, which she's pretty big now too. Yeah, she's good. She played her part. Well, yeah, very small part. So anyway, yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm actually surprised I gave a three for acting. I don't know what I was thinking. I think I also was thinking like it was the script not Kristen Stewart. But I have to admit, I have not seen very many Kristen Stewart movies outside of Twilight.
00:21:50
Speaker
Like I know she was in the Diana movie, but I haven't seen it. But yeah, I think I mostly blame the script on the acting because obviously Robert Pattinson is a very talented actor. I've seen him in a lot of things. And I think I know he hates this movie, which is so funny, but he I think the actors just did the best they could with the script. So I didn't want to take off too many points for acting.
00:22:13
Speaker
So I'll agree with him there to a degree. I think these many of these actors have proven that they can act since this movie. However, the acting in this movie is awful. I give it a one because I give it a one because I do think Robert Pattinson is trying to do the best he can with those lines. I do think Kristen Stewart is trying to do the best she can. I'm not sure about some of the others. I've seen
00:22:43
Speaker
Carlyle Is that the doctor? Yeah. Yeah guy I he was in nurse Jackie on Showtime. Yeah, and he would he played a totally different character and he did a great job in that but the acting in this is cardboard and wooden and Just have you seen Kristen Stewart and Zethora Wasn't she like 14? She was the older sister. Yeah, that's one of the best movies ever
00:23:11
Speaker
I've seen her in Snow White and the Huntsman and I don't think it changes my opinion of her acting in that one. So allow me to be the one who kind of sells in between everyone here because I actually gave mine a 2 out of 5 for this one and I was going to talk about it earlier but I was going to hold it for this section.
00:23:27
Speaker
I am glad that there are actors in this movie who are able to break this Twilight mold. Because let's be honest, Twilight had a stranglehold on these actors when they came out. And I mean, I'm gonna be honest, I didn't think of Robert Pattinson and anything but Twilight until I think it was The Lighthouse maybe? Yeah, I think that was like the first movie where I was like, oh,
00:23:50
Speaker
oh he does do other stuff outside of twilight he spent 10 years trying to shake the image of that word yeah and i mean that and we'll talk about it in the it factor with that but yeah i'm just i'm just happy that people broke out of it however uh yeah the acting is pretty rough but i will put a lot more blame on the script overall and i'll even cut kristen stewart some slack
00:24:11
Speaker
Um, cause like you said, she's supposed to kind of be awkward and weird in this and it's not quite endearing. And that is her fault because that is Kristen Stewart as an actor. However, her script is way worse than her acting. I'm going to cut her some slack on that one. Edward, I can, or sorry, Robert does the best that he can with what he's given. Again, the dad's pretty likable for the most part in this movie. Um, and he does decent. He's actually probably the standout just cause of how normal he feels based on everyone else.
00:24:39
Speaker
So yeah,
Pacing and Direction Critique
00:24:40
Speaker
I gave it a two out of five. It's pretty rough, but I think a lot more of that can be uh, you can put that blame more on the script i'd say So that takes us to direction megan. You want to kick off?
00:24:50
Speaker
Yeah, I gave the direction a two. I had not seen this movie in a while. I actually did a whole series rewatch like a few years ago. But I was surprised at how I forgot how slow this movie was. Like the pacing was so off. And I think that's the director's fault. And that kind of ties into the editing. But yeah, just the pacing was off. No story. I mean, I'm kind of being redundant, but that's just why I give the direction a two.
00:25:20
Speaker
Yeah, I also gave it a two, because of you know, what was it about the editing and like the story was really weird, like weirdly timed and laid out. So I remember I saw the movie before I read the book. And I think I had to watch it a couple times before I understood what was happening, because it just doesn't blow well.
00:25:41
Speaker
Yeah, I gave it a zero. I agree with you and 10 times over with that. The pacing was horrendous for me. Half the time I had no clue what we were doing. It felt like three episodes running back to back of very three different stories. You have one with which is like this love love relationship going on with Edward and Bella. The next one is like a history lesson on vampires. And then the next one is this weird like cat and mouse chase like
00:26:10
Speaker
Dear Lord, it was hard to keep up with. Yeah, pacing is pretty rough. The director did not really do a great job at all. pacing this movie, directing the people. Well, I think it's fair to say the actors were struggling to maybe convey certain scenes. And yeah, I don't have much more to say I'm just gonna, you know, double down where you guys stand on that.
00:26:35
Speaker
I also gave the direction of zero. I just don't know why so many of these choices were made in this movie. And in the end, I kind of judged the direction on how well something comes together. And the I think for this, it's either a five or zero, because if you were trying to influence the next 10 years of young adult anything, then this movie was a masterpiece that everybody followed. But
00:27:07
Speaker
If that was the goal, they succeeded, but it's terrible. So I am not someone who thinks it's a five. I think it's a zero. I think it ruined young adult literature and young adult movies for the next 10 years. It was not, I was not as target audience. So that's pretty clear. I was not the target audience. So it was a zero for me.
Twilight as a Cultural Phenomenon
00:27:30
Speaker
So that would take us then to the it factor, which were actually unanimous on it factor. Yeah. So I gave it a five, which we all gave it a five. Like it's very clear that this was a global phenomenon. Like, especially as the series went on and like everyone was talking about it, I remember I was 10, I think it probably helped also that Robert and Kristen were dating in real life. But to Tim's point about this influencing young adult movies,
00:27:57
Speaker
um i kind of disagree i think it did spur on like a marketing push to turn more young adult books into movies like the hunger games divergent maze runner um but those were all like dystopia novels so i've been anything i think hunger games was the one that triggered that that's a fair point that's a fair point yeah but that not to say twilight definitely did have its place in what cinematic history at least from a a box office perspective
00:28:28
Speaker
yeah i mean because this one was coming out like right along with harry potter because i mean harry potter right because harry potter had like eight movies they're pretty sure harry potter was mostly done yeah i was gonna say it was ending they were overlapping like yeah we might have been i was close to it but i know that because here's how i remember it harry potter
00:28:49
Speaker
was the one who made the last movie, like the last book, a two-part famous. Twilight was, I actually, I kind of agree with him and Megan on the point of like, I think Twilight did kind of kick off that whole young adult, make a movie out of it, like make a series out of it. Because technically Harry Potter was a kids series.
00:29:08
Speaker
Right, I don't see I don't view see I don't view Harry Potter like I view the like anything after Twilight like everything Twilight onward is not what Harry Potter was But I think Twilight absolutely did influence everything from the Hunger Games and Maze Runner But to Megan's point I think Hunger Games really like just put the nail in the coffin of like yeah we're just gonna take every single adult novel and we're gonna make something out of it and we're gonna make money off of that and obviously to the detriment of Hollywood that didn't work out too well and
00:29:36
Speaker
But as much as I hate to admit it, it's hard to not give this a five because it really was one of the biggest, like just cinematic moments in history easily, whether for the right or wrong reasons. You can't argue that. It was a cultural phenomenon at the time. I was just looking it up because I was curious.
00:29:58
Speaker
We had five Harry Potter movies before this one came out. So three followed, but I do think. Like whether it was the books or the movies, I'm not sure, but I think definitely more than the movies after you pointed out the dystopian nature, the movies took the dystopian, but you could not go to the young adult section at Barnes and Nobles without seeing vampire ripoff romances or anything like that. So I think.
00:30:28
Speaker
I think that spawned both from the huge success of the movies, like somebody wants that like vampire diaries. They want to be the next Twilight. They want to be the next. And that definitely had the influence on the books. You're right. We didn't see that many movies. Even the movies bombed so bad after a while. They didn't release the last Divergent movie. So they did an awful job with that. But yeah, it's funny. The early 2010s, the
Personal Reflections on Twilight
00:30:50
Speaker
young adult section was either vampire dystopian novel. Yes, there was nothing in between. Yeah.
00:30:55
Speaker
because i love reading a good young adult book every now and then because they're quicker fast pace but you kind of i i drifted from young adult during that time because it was all vampire romances i think the only thing i would now it's all gay vampire romances anyway any jojo fans out there
00:31:18
Speaker
Oh, it back there. Yes. Well, I think I would have to add is that I used to have a blanket with Edward and Bella on it. And it doesn't surprise me in the slightest blanket. I think one of my cats threw up on it. I had to get rid of it, but you have good details there. I just remember everybody was like, are you team Edward or team? You can escape that for so long. And then I was team Jacob. And now I'm like, they're both the worst. So, yeah, you're on track there. Yeah. And there were posters everywhere. Like it was a cultural phenomenon. It was insane.
00:31:48
Speaker
Yeah, let's beat that dead horse some more. Not a great time in our history. Every day we stray further from God. So let's go into our final scores, everybody. Add five to what I gave you. Add five to what you gave us? Yes.
00:32:07
Speaker
so whatever it says your final score is oh okay oh wait we didn't do that how entertainment factor as i say entertain i was waiting for the entertainment ladies you can kick this one off um yeah for entertainment i gave it a five i was surprised at how bored i was um i i mean maybe because i've seen it a few times i'm not embarrassed to admit that but
00:32:29
Speaker
I did get on my phone a lot just because, like, I knew what was coming. Nothing about it was intriguing or sucked me in. But when I was younger, I ate this up. Yes. Yeah, I gave it an eight because I think I've seen this movie at least 25 times and I still have so much fun with it every time. She quoted it as much as I quote Fellowship of the Ring anytime I didn't even make that connection. Oh, my gosh. It's pretty bad, but
00:32:59
Speaker
No, I whether it's a good movie or not, just because of the significance it's had in my life, I just am always entertained by it. So I actually gave the entertainment value as six because like I said, yeah, it is higher than I thought, because looking back, I think it's a hilarious movie. I enjoy it as a comedy. It is a movie that I think is so bad that I enjoy it a little bit watching it. OK.
00:33:28
Speaker
Yeah, I know that's hard for you to swallow, but I don't think Bryce's entertainment value score counts because he was just complaining the whole time. I wasn't complaining. You were laughing. So you were somewhat entertained. Well, that was the trinks helped a little bit. Yeah. Until I got just depressed at the end. Yeah. Mine was a zero out of 10. I, this is the first time I will comfortably say
00:33:52
Speaker
I have truly just been so disconnected and bored of watching a movie that I can't remember.
00:34:02
Speaker
I am in a loss would be a close, but
Debate on Entertainment Value
00:34:05
Speaker
it was new. So like it had that going for it at the very least while I was just one, like, again, I've never seen this movie. I've seen so many bits and pieces. And I guess going into this, I had the expectation that it would be so bad that it's good. But by the end, I was just so sad that I watched the two hour movie that just felt like such a waste of my time that I could have been watching anything, literally anything else. And I probably could have been happier than when I was there.
00:34:32
Speaker
This is going to be one of the few movies I think that I'll ever give a 0 out of 10 for entertainment value. It's okay. I forgive you. So that takes us to our final scores then. So back to what I said five minutes ago.
00:34:46
Speaker
So my final score was a 28. Overall, this is not a good movie. Sorry, Bailey. I have to admit that. But once again, it's not the worst movie ever. So I think if you haven't seen Twilight, I do think you should watch it just so you can be a part of all of our misery.
00:35:08
Speaker
I it's my final score took it to a 17. It's probably one of my lowest scores for a movie ever, but you know 17 I think we don't ever finish that movie average cast out of 10 because it was unwatchable Yeah, I don't even think we we got like halfway to that movie. It was pretty rough. Once it was uh, was it Peter?
00:35:32
Speaker
Who does the singing in Cars with Celebrities? I know. James, is it? James Corden. James Corden. Once he was dancing in a cat suit on me. So untalented. I wanted to make it to Taylor Swift and I couldn't. Yeah, because I don't think we made it. Yeah, I just wanted to see the butthole edition.
00:35:58
Speaker
Anyway, my phone's on record. Bryce wants to see Taylor Swift. Well, that's taken out. I guess I should be used to it at this point. Anyway, yeah, I think mine comes into like a 12. This is outside of Cats. Also, probably the least favorite movie I've ever watched. And yeah, this might be one of the worst movies I've genuinely ever seen. Don't watch this movie, please.
00:36:23
Speaker
i really i really literally don't hate all you this is like the first one or it's like this is pretty awful you guys to see lamb and you hated i didn't hate lamb i just like it's not really gray but i raised your head i didn't like the movie to be honest i raised your head's okay i mean it's special i really want to show you some 80s movies and then we can discuss worst movies you've ever seen
Final Thoughts and Scores
00:36:47
Speaker
Yeah, I just I guess if you want to watch it just to be part of the club, go ahead. But I would not recommend wasting your time on this movie. Would you say your final was? I think it's like 12. Yeah. So, Bailey, you get at five. Yeah. OK, so mine was 31 because again. It's just it was your teenage. It was my teenage years. This came out when I was 12. So I was the target audience and it worked.
00:37:18
Speaker
And I think that's overall in the my final statements. I think that's a fair assessment that there was a clear target audience for this story and for these films. And basically, if you weren't a 10 to 15 year old girl, you it wasn't for you. Yeah, exception. Maybe there's some 18 year old girls up there who are eating it up, but like it, my mom, our moms.
00:37:45
Speaker
Some moms were loving it, but like there's a reason why the two guys in this room did not have a great time. I mean, I thought it was hilariously bad. Bryce just thought it was terribly bad. But there's this movie is clearly for a specific audience. Yeah, I was just going to say this is a good case on good marketing.
00:38:08
Speaker
Yeah, they nailed like they nailed the target audience they advertised it and it just became viral Yeah, you're not really wrong about that Bailey any final thoughts I Guess my only final thoughts would really be
00:38:28
Speaker
But if anybody out there can vote to do New Moon, please let us know because they won't let me do it. This is the last time we ever let you recommend a movie.
00:38:44
Speaker
You don't all use a different phone. I really I wouldn't mind. I wouldn't mind doing the whole series just so we can talk about the fourth one because I will rage so hard about the biggest waste of a movie I've ever seen. Oh, the fifth one. Oh, geez, I thought they're only.
00:39:03
Speaker
there's five how many are there don't make me do this please so the fifth one is the biggest waste of please yeah just put me through this guys I have only so many days left on this earth I don't want to waste them did you give your final thoughts
00:39:19
Speaker
i think we are all very clear on what i thought about that i mean i don't really have again like i i hate to admit it but this movie had a great impact on not great impact but had a huge impact and it was made for 14 year old girls i think you're wasting your time watching this movie but if you want to be a part of the club who saw twilight go ahead watch it waste your time and hate yourself if you're a 15 year old girl you might just love it yeah whatever go ahead there's so many other better movies out there
Conclusion and Future Episodes
00:39:43
Speaker
better adult like adult stories you can watch like Hunger Games even Hunger Games was better than this I don't I didn't like the first I like the story okay I like the story of the first one so good catching fire is actually a pretty good
00:40:00
Speaker
I never finished those movies. Who did? But anyway, yeah, that about wraps it up. It takes our final average to 22. That's way too much. Bailey, why did you just... Because I can't help myself. Well, you know, there's this thing called... I already know what you're going to say. Discipline. I already knew where that was going. Discipline and respect.
00:40:24
Speaker
I knew as soon as I was about to say I was like I should have just gone with it But yeah, 22 plans that firmly in the bad category Yeah, Robert Pattinson is trembling right now
00:40:39
Speaker
I was going to say he's like raising a toast. So anyway, I'm not even going to say I'm not even going to ask you guys what your thoughts are. And I know you'll do what's best for you. You will not watch this movie. You will not give us your ratings. There's probably some like small minority who listen to this podcast who back. I remember that. Here's my score. It's going to ruin the average and boost it up and then make it an OK movie, which isn't OK. We actually scored Ant-Man and the Wasp below this one.
00:41:07
Speaker
i mean i don't blame it it's pretty bad too both they're both bad i actually think i would watch twilight again before i would watch amin and the wasps so i think that's accurate i don't even want to choose those are both awful if i was forced to or die i would
00:41:21
Speaker
Honestly, I think I would rather take the sweet bliss of the early 2000s over the absolute poop show that is today's cinema. So I'll agree with you on that one. I'll take the sweet ignorance of 2008 over 2023.
00:41:39
Speaker
There was, like I, in my opinion, the difference is that the early 2008 was hilariously bad. Yes. Whereas bad movies today are just insufferably bad. Correct. So with all that being said, I think that's it. I'm pretty tired.
00:42:17
Speaker
You and Bryce duet anyway, we're done with this episode Thank you for watching and listening to this episode tune in again next time and tune again next time I guess if you've seen Twilight let us know what you thought about let me know Let us know if this still holds up for you anyone else out there And if you have my light defenders Send us those scores
00:42:28
Speaker
was that that was the end credits oh you actually just did the in credits
00:42:36
Speaker
Yeah, pilot. Yeah, seriously, I like prove me wrong. Like I seriously come out and like show me that I'm totally wrong about this movie, which I'm not. But, you know, still show me that I'm wrong. We're not here to argue. We're here to appreciate how everybody, everybody likes things in a different way.
00:42:51
Speaker
So yeah, with that said, leave a comment of what your thoughts on the movies send us a DM of your thoughts with a score, all that fun stuff. Hit up our link tree. Follow us on YouTube, Rumble, Spotify, subscribe, share with your friends, all that fun stuff. And what do we have? I don't know if it's Spider-Man next. Is it Spider-Verse next? So see, this was a nice little palate cleanser or maybe just so bad that I'm very nervous about Spider-Verse. I am too. So it'll be an interesting episode. So with all that said,
00:43:22
Speaker
Thank you for watching and listening. And we'll see you next time. Bye bye.