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Malcolm Jamal Warner, 90s Music & Surviving Narcissists
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In this episode of Unsolicited Perspectives, Bruce Anthony and Jay Aundrea dive deep into the legacy of Malcolm Jamal Warner, the shock of 90s music through today’s lens, and the real-life impact of narcissists in relationships. If you love Black excellence, pop culture commentary, and authentic sibling banter, you’re in the right place! We break down generational differences, share hilarious and heartfelt stories, and offer practical advice on mental health, therapy, and surviving toxic relationships. From the Cosby Show to TikTok trends, this episode is packed with nostalgia, life lessons, and the kind of real talk you won’t find anywhere else. Whether you’re a millennial, Gen Xer, or just love a good podcast, join us for a journey through music, memories, and the importance of giving people their flowers while they’re here. #MalcolmJamalWarner #90smusic #tiktoktrend #narcissist #mentalhealthmatters #unsolicitedperspectives
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Chapters:
00:00 Welcome to Unsolicited Perspectives 🎙️🔥💥
00:49 Sibling Happy Hour: Spicy Takes & Drinks 🍹🌶️
01:09 Late to the Show: Sibling Drama & Apologies 😅🤦♀️
03:26 90s Music Shock: When Parents Share Their Wild Playlists! 🎵😱
07:01 Generation Gap: Kids React to Parents' Music Choices! 😂🎶
14:38 Real Talk: Why Everyone Should Try Therapy 🧠💭
20:22 Remembering Malcolm: More Than Just Theo 🌟💔
30:57 Growing Up Warner: The Early Years 👶📚
31:21 Black Literature's Power: Shaping Young Minds 📖✊
32:21 Legacy of a Legend: Beyond The Cosby Show 🎭⭐
34:26 Black Excellence: Celebrating Our Stars & Their Stories 🌟🎭✨
39:28 Red Flags: Spotting Narcissistic Behavior 🚩⚠️
44:44 True Stories: Dating Drama & Life Lessons 💘😮
58:18 Survival Guide: Breaking Free from Toxic Relationships 💪🆓
01:02:52 Closing Thoughts: Give People Their Flowers 🌺💝
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Transcript
Introduction & Episode Theme
00:00:00
Speaker
TikTok trend got me in a chokehold. We're talking narcissist and death. We're going to get into it. Let's get it.
00:00:20
Speaker
Welcome. First of all, welcome. This is Unsolicited Perspectives. I'm your host, Bruce Anthony, here to lead the conversation in an important events and topics that are shaping today's society. Join the conversation and follow us wherever you get your audio podcast.
00:00:33
Speaker
Subscribe to our YouTube channel for our video podcast, YouTube exclusive content, and our YouTube membership. Rate, review, like, comment, share. Share with your friends, share with your family.
00:00:45
Speaker
Hell. even share with your enemies.
Introducing Jay & Episode Topics
00:00:47
Speaker
On today's episode, it's the sibling happy hour. I'm here with my sis, Jay Andrea. We're going to be dilly-dadding a little bit. Then we're going to be giving the tribute to Malcolm Jamal Warner.
00:00:57
Speaker
And then we're going to be talking about narcissists. But that's enough of the intro. Let's get to the show.
00:01:09
Speaker
What up, sis? What up, brother? ah I can't call it. I can't call it. I want to apologize to the audience for today's episode.
00:01:20
Speaker
Jay, do you want to tell them why? I'm late. Not just a little late. A lot of late. A lot of late. And we postponed it, which means I'm going to be up all night editing. But you know what?
00:01:33
Speaker
The show wouldn't be a success without my sister, so I can't be too mad at her. Besides. No, you definitely can. I have no excuse. So I'm just I'm sorry. All right. Yo, for real. I called our brother to calm me down.
00:01:47
Speaker
His ass ain't calm me down. Here's the worst person to call to calm down. He's the worst person to do for that. Yeah. You know what? He had an interesting philosophy. He said, no, I'm going to work you up and then bring you down. It's what they do in like debt consolidation or something like that.
00:02:05
Speaker
They work you all the way up. They get you into a frenzy and then they, they start to become calmer and then you become calmer and you're willing to listen then. And I was like, oh, that's interesting.
00:02:17
Speaker
Okay. I've never heard that strategy, but... Neither have I. It kind of worked. I feel like he made that Well, I brought All What? Our brother's an idiot, so i'm at the end of it, I was laughing.
00:02:30
Speaker
Idiot as if he's funny. And so at the end it, I was laughing, so it brought me down. He's actually incredibly smart. Oh, God, he's smart. He will say that he's not, but I believe he's the smartest out of all three of us.
00:02:43
Speaker
Oh, hands down. It's not... Hold on. Hmm. Smartest. Not the most intelligent. There's a difference between smart and intelligent. good I would say he's the most intelligent then. would say he's the most intelligent. yeah but yeah I say he's and most he's the smartest.
00:03:05
Speaker
He knows a lot about a lot. That's what I mean. Smart. so Smart is knowing a bunch of things. like People in Jeopardy are smart. That doesn't necessarily mean they're intelligent. Intelligence is thinking.
00:03:17
Speaker
It's putting things together and thinking. so It's the next step. That's all he does.
90s Music & Generational Perspectives
00:03:23
Speaker
Anyway, yeah let's get to this TikTok trend.
00:03:28
Speaker
So it looks, so i look okay, so i just to be clear, intelligence refers to, this is Google, y'all, so take it with a grain of salt. Intelligence refers to an inherent cognitive ability.
00:03:41
Speaker
Mm-hmm. So this is, you're born with your intelligence level. So it's your IQ, right? Right. Where smartness implies practical application of knowledge and quick wittedness. I think you're, I think we're both right. He is inherently intelligent, but he is also very quick and knowledgeable.
00:04:00
Speaker
Yes. Yeah. Anyway, our little brother has got the goods when it comes to the brains. Yeah. But hands this TikTok trend has got me in a chokehold.
00:04:13
Speaker
Yeah, what is this? Because you know I ain't been back on TikTok since the election. Well, I'm not actually on TikTok. It's a TikTok trend that made its way to Instagram, as most things do.
00:04:25
Speaker
And it's the You Know Now. Remember that song, You Know Now with Trina and Trick Daddy? Of course I do. It is literally the soundtrack to my adolescence. So it is us people in our age group millennials, right, are playing that song for their now teenage kids.
00:04:47
Speaker
Oh, that's not that's not a good idea. no no why why not? Because that song is incredibly vulgar. That's it the whole point. Yeah, that's the whole point of the trend. Oh, that's the point of the trend. Okay. show that we That we grew up in the trenches right and they have no idea who we were popping to. So yeah I'm watching these reels and the kids are absolutely appalled.
00:05:18
Speaker
They're, yeah. i You know what? I actually did see a video. I didn't know it was a trend. I just saw one video, a TikTok reel. And yeah, a woman played it for her daughter and her daughter was absolutely appalled by it.
00:05:33
Speaker
And we were just bopping at the school dance. So like it was no, like it was nothing. And it is Trina's verse is the most vulgar thing.
00:05:44
Speaker
day and And still, i love it. I can rap every line. So, I was talking to a friend of mine, because I'm telling you, this trend has had me on a chokehold. All I've been doing is searching more and more to seeing how these kids are just... I bet it's hilarious. It's hilarious, because they're in high school, right?
00:06:02
Speaker
And it's not like Cardi B, Meg... Glorilla, Sexy Red, aren't out here rapping kind of like that. But it's just what Trina said. It's Trina.
00:06:14
Speaker
is yeah with sorina It's Trina's verse. It's specifically Trina's verse. And then I was thinking to myself, it's that's a nasty verse. But that's not even... half of how nasty some of these verses were because Lil' Kim, Foxy Brown and don't listen to a Dina Howard freak freak like me kind of the explicit version the explicit version I mean we were literally bought what is that Soka song but a yeah Put your mouth. I couldn't even see the whole title because, and we were, we were bopping to that like that, like there was no problem.
00:06:56
Speaker
And it was, we had no business singing them lyrics. None. And so what I discovered is it doesn't matter if you're a boomer, boomer, Gen Z, or even Gen Alpha, because some of these kids would be Gen Alpha because Gen Alpha started in 2010, which means they'd be about 14, 15 years old right now.
00:07:13
Speaker
and um Every generation except for ours is appalled at our music from the late 90s and early two thousand it it really like It really was like the Uncle Luke era.
00:07:28
Speaker
It was a lot of Florida rap.
00:07:32
Speaker
don't know what they was. Two Live Crew started all for me. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, the song is just me so horny. That's it. That's the tamed.
00:07:44
Speaker
That's the tamed. That's the tamed one. That's not even pop that. That's the one heard on the radio. Right. That's not even pop that P. And yeah this this title of the song is tamed, Come On Baby.
00:07:59
Speaker
But the actual lyrics to Come On Baby by Two Live Crew. So disgusted. i But you got to remember at that time, how are kids disgusted at that music and not disgusted by the music now?
00:08:14
Speaker
I would say lyrically, even though Meg, Cardi B and Glow, they lyrically, they are great. Yeah. In the 90s and two thousand s you paid in a little bit more of a vivid picture.
00:08:28
Speaker
Yes. Yeah. Like, I mean, you have like the the Cardi Meg track WAP, right? And everybody was just like clutching their pearls when WAP came out.
00:08:39
Speaker
But I'm like, y'all, years twenty five years ago it's We were singing much worse.
00:08:49
Speaker
Nothing as bad as Freak Like Me. Adina Howard, Freak Like Me, the explicit version. But talking you, this trend and got me in a chokehold, and it's just, it is so funny watching kids. And I don't know if the kids are appalled at the lyrics, the fact that their parents used to listen to that. Because, you know, you have a version of your parents when you're growing up. Like, you ain't like cool.
00:09:11
Speaker
No. you yeah Look, if you are cool as a kid, That coolness came from somewhere. Yeah. And it came from your parents. Listen, coolness is genetic.
00:09:23
Speaker
Okay? No. didn't see... I had never seen... ah like ah a lame family and the way one cool kid, isn't it? No.
00:09:35
Speaker
It's everybody's a nerd. Everybody's a jock or everybody has a like is like, it's typically your family unit. y'all Y'all, there's like a common thread. Our family, we're funny. We're comedians. That's our family.
00:09:51
Speaker
So everybody's got that common thread. I feel like coolness You can't learn how to be cool. I just don't think you can. Oh, okay. Okay. I think you can learn how to perform coolness, but I feel like actual coolness where you don't have to tell people I'm cool.
00:10:09
Speaker
Like when you don't have to do that, that is, that's, I feel like that's just something you're born with. That's a temperament, like intelligence. Like it's just, there's a coolness quotient.
00:10:23
Speaker
And where you are on the spectrum is just where you are on the spectrum and that's it. I will say this. You said performative. And okay, people can't be performative cool.
00:10:35
Speaker
That doesn't necessarily mean that they cool. And I've always said, this is my cardinal rule in life. If you have to tell people what you are, you ain't that.
00:10:46
Speaker
because You ain't it. Because you don't ever have to tell people because you just are. Yeah, if you get, if you played a game, ah pick up basketball, and you got at the end, tell people, hey, I can ball.
00:10:59
Speaker
You shouldn't have to. People should already know because they just watched you play. They just watched you play. So why you letting everybody know? i Hey, I don't know about y'all, but I can ball.
00:11:10
Speaker
Are you sure? Well, you know, what nobody else is saying that. If somebody saw me, I haven't picked up a basketball in years. If somebody saw me play right now, I'm horrible. um I know I'm horrible because don't have no rhythm.
00:11:22
Speaker
But you know how sometimes you look at older people and you say they look old now, but I bet when they was younger, they was fine. Yeah. yeah Sometimes you can see somebody out there who hadn't played a sport for a long time and they could suck. But the mechanics of which they're playing, you're like, oh, they used to be somebody. Yeah.
00:11:40
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I don't think coolness is the same way though. Well, okay. I feel like it's like intelligence. I feel like you can, you can learn to be smart, right?
00:11:53
Speaker
Yes. But you can't, your intelligence is what it is. Yes. And I feel like your coolness is what it is. You can learn to be more sociable. You can learn to be more extroverted. You can, you can even learn to be funny.
00:12:10
Speaker
But I don't know that you, aside from performing coolness, which everybody sees through y'all, stop doing that. Just be yourself. But like, aside from performing it, I just don't, you know, you just got to be born with it.
00:12:26
Speaker
I think you got to be born with coolness. Ooh, that's a good question. What determines coolness? Because I would say,
00:12:37
Speaker
i don't know that I'm necessarily cool. I'm not. it Yeah, I don't think I'm going to. Because I'm kind of corny. and Not kind of corny. Extremely corny.
00:12:48
Speaker
Extremely silly. But I do have a smoothness. I can be smooth. h When I can't, let me let me rephrase that.
00:12:59
Speaker
I can be suave. Yeah. when i When I want to be. But then we had an uncle who was the epitome of cool. It just came out of his pores. And I feel like he was like that his whole life. He was.
00:13:15
Speaker
He probably was His whole life. Because I feel like what's inherent in coolness is confidence. Yeah. It's confidence. It's like a self-assuredness that you just have.
00:13:28
Speaker
You just have it. And also, like, authenticity. Being yourself. That's the thing about an uncle. No matter what, he was he was himself. He was himself. yeah And he did what he wanted to do. Yeah. And he was the one of a kind. I feel like that's, like, there are certain things, like,
00:13:45
Speaker
I don't think you can teach confidence. I think you can gain it over time through like experience and things like that.
00:13:55
Speaker
i don't know about authenticity. I don't know if you can. i think that's also like experience, you know, I think authenticity, just like confidence can be gained or improved upon. Just like when we talked about it, i don't know, several shows back about empathy, right? yeah Like,
00:14:13
Speaker
we We're not born with this natural sense of empathy. It's kind of an experience that you have to yeah experience. And then you develop this emotion.
00:14:25
Speaker
It's very much like inside out, right? but Is it inside out? Inside out and inside out too. We only have a certain amount of emotions. And as we get older, we experience more and more emotions. If you allow yourself to experience emotions. Yes. I had a conversation with somebody. I'm not to throw them under the bus, but I had a conversation with somebody 40 years old, 41 years old.
00:14:45
Speaker
Okay. And I told them, I think you need to go to therapy. Okay. i think I think a lot of people need to go therapy. I don't think, I think everybody should at least have a therapy session or two just to see if you need more therapy.
00:15:00
Speaker
Hey, you know, mental health, just like physical health,
00:15:07
Speaker
you You should keep up with it regularly. If you go and get your physical and you do all the things you need to do for your physical health, your mental health, you got to do the same thing.
00:15:18
Speaker
arab You should definitely check in with a licensed therapist. That part. And you what like you just should. So this person I was talking to, i said, yeah, I think you need therapy.
00:15:32
Speaker
Because they're going through some things. It's like, i think you need therapy. And they're like, no, no way. I don't believe in therapy. I said, okay, that's real dumb. And I'm explain to you why. Yeah. I said, if you broke your leg, are you going to to the doctor?
00:15:46
Speaker
Yeah, of course. Okay. So if you're willing to fix your physical body, you're not willing to fix the inside, which is your emotions and your psyche.
00:16:00
Speaker
That is... That, our um honestly, your mental and psychological well-being is more a part of who you are than your physical body. Yep.
00:16:14
Speaker
Because you could still be you if that physical body don't work. No, not not me, though. I mean, but you're still you could still think, you could still you could still be you Without their physical body. like Yeah.
00:16:30
Speaker
I'll be thinking I wish I had my physical body. Well, yes, but if your mind is not right, your mind is you. Your mind is you. This is true.
Mental Health & Malcolm Jamal Warner's Legacy
00:16:40
Speaker
What's happening to Bruce Willis is the scariest thing in the world right now.
00:16:43
Speaker
Yeah. We don't exist without our mind. That's why we have the term brain dead. Like there is a, you your whole body can still be functioning, but if you do not have your mind, you are no longer alive.
00:16:56
Speaker
So like that, the fact that people don't make that connection, right They allow like stigma around mental health and all of these things to keep them from taking care of such an important part of themselves.
00:17:14
Speaker
Y'all, please. Please talk to somebody. and notice what my And notice what my sister said. A licensed, licensed therapist.
00:17:27
Speaker
Your homegirl, your homeboy, i get it. They're great listeners and you like their advice, but that don't mean that it's the right advice for you. It's just you like it.
00:17:38
Speaker
Yeah, I should crash out. No, you shouldn't crash out. You should go to therapy. Yeah, yeah. And and just remember... It's a terrible thing to lose your mind.
00:17:59
Speaker
We're smiling, but it's a sad week. Yeah. On Sunday, July twentieth ah
00:18:12
Speaker
2025, Malcolm Jamal Warner passed away. We'll get into the specifics of it. But I remember you texting in the group chat, Theo passed away.
00:18:25
Speaker
And that's what everybody said, right? Theo passed away. yeah and what was I think immediately I was like, well, the first thing I was like, what? Yeah. And he was like, Malcolm Jamal Warner.
00:18:37
Speaker
And I was like, I know what you're talking about. It's just a surprise because he's only so much older than I am. And then I saw that, you know, he he drowned. But the next thing I said was two more, two more is coming.
00:18:49
Speaker
Yeah, it comes in threes. comes in threes. And then it was Ozzy Osbourne. Which, oh man, that's that's heartbreaking. yeah Yeah. I mean, okay. Yes, it is.
00:19:00
Speaker
but I was a Black Sabbath fan. I mean, I guess I still am, but you know, yeah. I mean, I like Iron Man, but only because the Rogue Warriors used to come down to the ring in Iron Man. And speaking of wrestling, Hulk Hogan passed away.
00:19:12
Speaker
Now. No one cares. ah Look. Except Malga. I was the biggest hawker maniac as a little kid. You couldn't tell me to nothing. Hawker maniac. I saw all his movies. yeah You couldn't tell nothing Hawker. I Suburban Commando, Mr. Nanny, all that stuff.
00:19:31
Speaker
ah Mr. Nanny had me crying laughing. But when he said the N-word... yeah that one hard now Not once, not twice, but three times. All because his daughter was dating a black man.
00:19:46
Speaker
And then said, well, I would understand if he was eight foot tall and was a millionaire basketball player or something. I said, you know what? I'm off Hulk Hogan. And I've been off Hulk Hogan. And this was before he went in front of MAGA and performed...
00:20:05
Speaker
at the Republican National Convention last summer. Yeah. So we're not talking about him. Ozzy Osbourne, rest in peace. You made Iron Man and you did a lot of last stuff. You had a great television show, reality show, and and yeah all that good stuff.
00:20:23
Speaker
We're here to talk about Michael Jamal Warner. And notice, ladies and gentlemen, what do I keep saying? I keep telling you his name because I found so many people kept talking about Theo.
00:20:35
Speaker
And I get it. The Cosby show was a phenomenon, but the Cosby show was eight years. It's his iconic role. And the fact that I could say Theo and not Theo Huxtable.
00:20:45
Speaker
I just said Theo. Right. yeah y'all ever Y'all knew what I was talking about. it' It's his iconic role. I get it. He's done much more than that. But... He's more of a... That will always have a special place in my heart.
00:21:01
Speaker
Yeah, but he's more than just that Theo character. I'm not even talking about some of the other work that he's done. That was eight years of his life. That show ended in 92. My man is 54 years old. What is eight divided into 54? It is six and some change.
00:21:17
Speaker
So it is one sixth of his life, of his young life, not even his adult life, his young life. Okay. Unfortunately, he Drowned while being on vacation in costa riia and Costa Rica with his wife and his daughter.
00:21:35
Speaker
He and his daughter got caught in an undertow. Yeah, that's ah happened to me before. It's incredibly scary. He and his daughter got caught in undertow and the daughter was eight years old.
00:21:47
Speaker
They were able to rescue them, but he was unresponsible unresponsive. They tried for 45 minutes to use a CPR. He's predoed pronounced dead on the scene.
00:21:58
Speaker
And I want to just take this time To just say, thankfully, his eight-year-old daughter made it. I'm sure he was fighting like hell in that current to save his daughter.
00:22:10
Speaker
yeah Kind of took me back to Kobe Bryant. I know grabbed G. Gianna. and And held her tight when they knew they were going down to discomfort her. I'm sure Michael Jamal Warner did whatever he could to save his daughter's life.
00:22:28
Speaker
But I'm so scared for that little girl. Yeah. She was there when her daddy drowned. Yeah. And so young. That's tough. And that's going to be just so tough to deal with.
00:22:41
Speaker
And it just got me thinking that, hey, this man is more than Theo and I want to do a tribute. And then also, as I started doing more and more research, because I found myself as I'm calling everybody out for for calling him Theo, I found myself saying, what else do I know him from?
00:23:02
Speaker
I remember he was on Suits. That was a big deal for me. Malcolm and Eddie. But I never watched Malcolm and Eddie. Oh, and hilarious. And when I did a chance to go back. Okay. So I did, but when I did, it was simply for Eddie Griffin, right? It wasn't for Malcolm Jamal Warner.
00:23:19
Speaker
The Cosby show was not for Malcolm Jamal Warner. It was for Bill and Denise. Denise personally for me, because I was in love with her still in love with her, and now in love with her daughter. I don't know what that says about me. But anyway, like he's he's always been playing second fiddle, but he's always popped on the screen because I remember his role in Suits.
00:23:39
Speaker
And so as I'm doing the research, I was like, I want to play pay tribute to the man and not yeah the guy that everybody knows as Theo, because the man is absolutely remarkable. He is more than just an actor.
00:23:55
Speaker
and I'm going to get into it, but just when this happened, how did you feel? How did it hit you? Because now our childhood is starting to die. Yeah, that's, I think it's that
00:24:08
Speaker
just being faced with like our own mortality as the people that we love ah as young people are passing away in our adulthood. It's like,
00:24:25
Speaker
it's It's difficult. And then for it to be, you know, and and a tragic accident like this and so sudden and he really was young.
00:24:39
Speaker
He's only 54. So that he had a very young daughter. Like, it's I was extremely shocked and definitely heartbroken. So I want to give this tribute to Malcolm Jamal Warner. I'm going to read through some stuff, some of his accolades, a little bit about of his life, and then you guys will learn that he was much more than just Theo Huxtable. So first thing, he was a Leo, born August 18th, 1970.
00:25:07
Speaker
He was named after Malcolm X and a jazz pianist, Ahmad Jamal. Mm-hmm. ah He attended and graduated from the professional children's school in New York City. While still in high school, Warner was cast as Theo Huxtable, the only son of Cliff and Claire Huxtable on The Cosby Show, a role he played from 1984 at the age of 13 to 1992. His performance even earned him an Emmy nomination for Outstanding Supporting Actor in 1986. He was years old when he was years old. years old. Yeah.
00:25:43
Speaker
Of course, the culture the Cosby Show was a cultural phenomenon, and Warner became one of the most recognizable Black teenagers and later young adults in America during that eight season run.
00:25:54
Speaker
What else did he do, though? Because he starred in more than that. Jay brought up, he starred in Malcolm & Eddie from 1996 to 2000. He was in a BET series, Read Between the Lines, from 2011 to 2015, and Dr. Austin on The Resident from 2018 to Now, i want y'all to look at the the time periods.
00:26:18
Speaker
Cosby Show, fantastic show, right? One of the greatest shows ever ever done. 84 to 92, what is that? Eight years. Yes. Okay.
00:26:28
Speaker
Malcolm and Eddie, 96 to 2000, what is that? Four years. The Resident, 2018 to 2023, what is that Don't know. Five years.
00:26:39
Speaker
Okay. So this man... was working his butt off. But yeah outside of Theo Huxtable, the most important role to me was he played Julius Roe on Suits during the season six season from 2016 to 2017. Roe was a prison counselor at the Federal Correctional Institute in Danbury, Connecticut, and became a significant figure for the show's protagonist, Mike Ross, during Mike's incarceated incarceration fraud. Now, if you guys are Suits fans,
00:27:11
Speaker
You know, Mike going to prison was the big season. That was the big season, him going to prison, coming out of prison. The one that was giving him counseling, the one that was challenging the this genius to think outside of himself, to challenge his mental health.
00:27:27
Speaker
Huh. Kind of like what we were talking about earlier. To challenge his mental health. The role they gave that man to was Malcolm Jamal Warner. And yeah every scene that he was in on Suits,
00:27:40
Speaker
He stole the scene. Yeah.
00:27:45
Speaker
So what else? Well, the funny thing about his role in Suits was he he had auditioned several times for several different parts for Suits, and they finally placed him in the perfect role, which, by the way, if you understand who Malcolm Jamal Warner is...
00:28:03
Speaker
then you would understand why he's really good at playing a counselor. Kind of like how he was a counselor on the Cosby show.
00:28:14
Speaker
He was working with the kids on the Cosby show. He was. Yes, you are absolutely right. He was challenging. It's been a it's been a clip going around with Omar Epps when he was challenging Omar Epps.
00:28:28
Speaker
Omar Epps was a thug in the streets of Harlem, New York City or Brooklyn, New York City. And they lived in Brooklyn. Yes. Yeah. Well, it might have been to Harlem because I think he was uptown. I think he was working with the kids uptown in Harlem.
00:28:41
Speaker
Might have. Yeah. Yeah. And well um Omar Epps was like, hey man, take care of my little brother. Because Theo had lost it. He was about to get beat up by some goons and he had lost it.
00:28:54
Speaker
He also did voice acting. He voiced the producer on the Magic School Bus from 1994 to 1997. He also directed episodes cosby show And he also did music.
00:29:06
Speaker
He was a musician and producer and won a Grammy award as part of the jazz funk group Miles Long. yeah So he was an entertainer all the way around. He is more than Theo Huxtable. Jay, did you know about any of this stuff?
00:29:21
Speaker
Did not. and I definitely didn't know about the music. that's that's I knew about his voice acting. He has got an amazing voice. And so, you know, very soothing.
00:29:33
Speaker
Honestly... If Michael Jamal Warner was like, hey, can you want me to read you Green Eggs and Ham? I say yes. And I will curl up and get comfortable and let him read it.
00:29:46
Speaker
Because he just had that kind of very soothing voice. So I definitely knew he was a voice actor. But the music, I didn't know that. I didn't know he had a Grammy. Emmy nomination and a Grammy. That's that's awesome.
00:29:59
Speaker
He's also been an an activist. He contributed to the public service program and including the AIDS awareness video, Time Out, The Truth About HIV, AIDS, and You, which stard matt would starred Magic Johnson in our city and whole, earning him an NAACP Kia Life Image Award.
00:30:16
Speaker
Wow. So for a lot of people, and we don't think about HIV and AIDS like that anymore. There are going to be some people that were born 2000. And they're 25 years old.
00:30:28
Speaker
And that's not in their concept. They know about it. It's a thing. But it's not as big of a thing as it was in the late 80s all throughout the 90s. HIV was a big thing.
00:30:40
Speaker
And Magic Johnson getting HIV was the biggest thing. yeah Here he is doing activism work with Magic Johnson and Arsenio Hall.
00:30:52
Speaker
And he's got to be like, 18 years old at this point? Wow. 18 years old.
00:31:01
Speaker
So, you know, he's more than just Theo Huxtable. He was a poet. He told a story. His parents split when he was young. The age varies, but he was a young child when his parents split.
00:31:15
Speaker
His mom, he lived with his mom in L.A. until he got to high school. Then he moved with his and then he moved in with his dad. But during the summers... He would go out to visit his dad in New York.
00:31:28
Speaker
And his dad would make him read Black literature during the summer. I feel like that's so... That makes so much sense for who Malcolm Jamal Warner was. So yeah, that makes so much sense. And would make him write book reports.
00:31:44
Speaker
And he used to get pissed. He was like, this is summer. is summer vacation. And I'm sitting here doing schoolwork. And he was like, what his dad was doing was teaching him about his culture.
00:31:56
Speaker
And he was like, because of that, I have and a a vision of what are our people were, yeah r and can continue to be.
00:32:09
Speaker
And so I've instilled that in in my daughter and anybody that I can talk to, I'm always willing to
00:32:20
Speaker
share that knowledge. And when you hear all of this, you brought up the fact that his voice is just so soothing. yeah Is it because when a person has a soothing voice, is it because of the sound or is it because of the way in which they speak?
00:32:39
Speaker
It's the gravitas. He had, he had a a very poised very graceful sort of affect. Like he just, it was a gravitas that he had. You know, ah it reminds me of like Chadwick Boseman, that same kind of just presence and bearing.
00:33:06
Speaker
So it was a lot of that. I mean, yeah, has got a great voice, but it's also just how he carried himself. So, When he passed on the day, I was like, oh man, that's really sad.
00:33:19
Speaker
and as I started thinking about it, it was, we're not that far off from age. Like he is a gen Xer and I'm a borderline, but like he, he would be like a big brother, right? He's not that far off from what my age is.
00:33:36
Speaker
And i was like, oh, okay. Yeah, my childhood my childhood is starting to die. It's been slowly but surely starting to die. But some of them were older. This is almost a peer. And it is a freak accident, but it's still it's almost a peer.
00:33:49
Speaker
And so I started getting even more sad. yeah Then as I did the research, I didn't become depressed. Depressed isn't the right word. But I became,
00:34:00
Speaker
ah I don't know what that emotion was. I became something. I was feeling some type of way because he was a man that really should have been celebrated while he was alive. And here it is yeah another time, another example of we not giving people their flowers until they're dead. We have got to stop doing that.
00:34:23
Speaker
Yeah. Agreed. Agreed. And. Yeah. And there, I feel like there are still a lot of people.
00:34:33
Speaker
particularly Black entertainers, who have given us decades of work and have not gotten the flowers that they deserve. And he gave us a lifetime of work.
00:34:48
Speaker
Because one thing, Malcolm Jamal Warner was working. yeah like He was always working. He was on a show. He was doing movies. ah He was doing music. That's new. Voiceovers.
00:35:00
Speaker
Voiceovers. like Malcolm was always working. You went over some of his television work, but he still had film work. So like he was always working. So he gave us a, ah literally a lifetime. He started as a, as a young, and he was 13. You said?
00:35:16
Speaker
Yes. He was 13 that first season. Yeah. He started 13 and gave us a lifetime of work and should have received his flowers while he was here to smell them. Yeah.
00:35:32
Speaker
And also going back to him as Theo,
00:35:37
Speaker
told us what showed us in in the in in the larger sense. Obviously, people knew about it already, but in a larger sense, showed us about a condition called dyslexia.
00:35:50
Speaker
Yeah. And learning disabilities. And you can have these learning disabilities and with a little help, With a little help, you can still get to college and and be successful.
00:36:04
Speaker
And it doesn't have to be ah ah ah negative stigma attached to you. You can still become success. I thought that was a very valuable story. Also, don't ask your sister to give you no earring or make you a Gordon Gartrell.
00:36:21
Speaker
No, because that shirt ain't come out right. but the But the cool thing about Theo having dyslexia was that it showed that Black people can have learning disabilities. like it at Whereas at the time, a lot of times in school, what are Black children? and Their behavior problems. Mm-hmm.
00:36:47
Speaker
Right? Oh, he's not doing well because he can't keep up. No! The child has dyslexia and no was thinking...
00:36:59
Speaker
Outside of the box, they were looking at a black child, not paying attention or being disruptive and these behavior problems. But, and so a lot of young black kids were going undiagnosed for things like dyslexia, autism, ADHD, completely undiagnosed. They were instead being suspended. They were instead being punished.
00:37:26
Speaker
Because I don't know why they thought these things don't somehow don't apply to Black children, but they do. And it really it really shined a light on it. And I think probably got a lot of people thinking about it.
00:37:43
Speaker
And and ah really showing that, no, no, we we are also susceptible to these things. And you need to start treating us the way other people receive treatment.
00:37:58
Speaker
Yeah. So to you, Malcolm Jamal Warner, thank you. We love you. And damn, we're going to miss you. Rest in power, brother.
00:38:10
Speaker
Amen.
Understanding Narcissism
00:38:19
Speaker
Jay, I think this word gets thrown around maybe a little too much nowadays. Yes. but some you know Some people are just are just jerks.
00:38:33
Speaker
Narcissism is is a diagnosable thing. personality disorder. Yeah. Just because somebody did you wrong, don't make them a narcissist.
00:38:44
Speaker
Don't automatically inherently make them a narcissist just because they're a little self-absorbed or even a lot of self-absorbed does not make them a narcissist. Stop throwing that word around.
00:38:55
Speaker
it yeah It's a, you got to be, you know, diagnosed as that that. It's just just thrown around. However, some ah Some people listening and watching this segment, this is going hit home because I grabbed an article.
00:39:13
Speaker
This is from Parade.com. Story is written by Beth Ann Meyer. It is seven things a narcissist always does at the end of the relationship, according to psychologists.
00:39:26
Speaker
Mm-hmm. so So there's a personality disorder. Right. So psychologists explain seven common behaviors narcissists exhibit at the end of a relationship, highlighting their tendency to manipulate, control, and preserve their self-image even as the relationship dissolves.
00:39:43
Speaker
Narcissists ah often rewrite the breakup narrative to their advantage, blame their partner for their relationship's failure, and make and may seek revenge to hurt the other person. these prevent These behaviors stem from a need for control,
00:39:57
Speaker
admiration, and a lack of empathy, making an end of a relationship with the narcissist uniquely challenging and potentially damaging for other people. Now, I just read all that.
00:40:09
Speaker
And as I was in the middle of it, I said, damn it. Am I narcissist?
00:40:16
Speaker
No. Well, because I damn sure will rewrite the narrative on my breakups. I will blame it all on the partner. but I don't seek revenge.
00:40:28
Speaker
Right. Well, my revenge is... there are... The reason they could come up with seven things that they... Because there is a pattern to the behavior. That's how you get diagnosed with it.
00:40:41
Speaker
It is a repeated pattern of behavior. If you had a breakup and you were like, man, I saw their fault, even though it was a little bit of your... You still inherently know...
00:40:55
Speaker
it's ah It's a little bit your fault or a lot of it your fault. When you rewrite that, everybody rewrites narratives, right? We're the main character in our own lives. So everybody rewrites narratives or rewrites history.
00:41:07
Speaker
But it's the repeated pattern of the hate. That's where you can say this is a narcissist. Some people are just dicks, y'all. Like,
00:41:20
Speaker
That's it. Well, it's funny that you focus in so much on rewriting narrative because that's number one. Narcissists will tell a version of the breakup that suits their image, often portraying themselves as blameness blameless and ensuring the breakup is on their terms. Now, once again, these are, like my sister said, these are seven things.
00:41:41
Speaker
It's not just one. We have all done this. Ain't no breakup ever been my fault. I can tell you that right now. Yeah. All right. 100% of mine have been my fault because I'm the one doing the breaking up.
00:41:55
Speaker
Well, it's obviously my fault. I'm also the one being doing the breaking up too. I've never been dumped. That is a bald headed lie. because i will yeah
00:42:08
Speaker
I'll tell you what I will also do is blame my partner. Narcissists attribute the relationship's failure entirely to their partner maintaining their ego and avoiding responsibility for any wrongdoing.
00:42:21
Speaker
Yeah. I don't really do that, ladies gentlemen. i actually take responsibility and accountability. Y'all know, because I talked about that earlier this week, ah about taking accountability and apologizing. But... I'm sure you've been in a relationship or you've done this where you blame your partner. It is all their fault because you don't want to take accountability and responsibility your situation.
00:42:41
Speaker
Yeah. Taking accountability is tough for anyone. Yeah. Like, especially when you're late to record the show. And I apologize you saying You did.
00:42:51
Speaker
That's the reason why I didn't cuss you out. Because you know me. You know when somebody gives me a sincere apology, I just be like, man, just going to let this go. Yeah. I said I don't have any excuse. I forgot if that's on me, and I apologize.
00:43:06
Speaker
Now, the first two... You may look at yourself, am I narcissist? It's this third one I told you where it stopped for me. Now, if you do this, yeah you might want to yeah go seek therapy.
00:43:20
Speaker
And the third one is seeking revenge. If they feel wronged or their control is threatened, they may act vengefully, such as posting damaging content online, contacting mutual friends or employers, or even hacking accounts.
00:43:38
Speaker
Yeah. And mind you, this is someone who just feels like their control is threatened. Not that you actually did anything to where they feel like they should seek revenge, right?
00:43:55
Speaker
No, it's it's just you no longer allow them the access to you that they need in order to feel like they're in control.
00:44:06
Speaker
And because of that, They act out eventually. That's, that's, that's, most people don't do that. Most people don't do that.
00:44:17
Speaker
So you don't have to worry. a lot of y'all out there, bro, you don't have to worry. You are not a narcissist. here's the Here's how you know you're not a narcissist. If you look at yourself and your own behavior you say, am I a narcissist?
00:44:31
Speaker
You're not. Because narcissists don't know that they are narcissists. They will never have enough self-reflection to ask themselves that question.
00:44:42
Speaker
to To ask themselves that question. you You know, you said something, and I think it's in one of the ba behind the scenes. And I did not realize that I do this.
00:44:54
Speaker
But since you pointed it out, I've been recognizing that I do do this. You say, you always got a story about everything. Wherever we're talking about, you got a story about something.
00:45:05
Speaker
I don't know. It doesn't matter what it is You have a story. And guess what? I got a story. Yeah, here we go. Go ahead. I know I haven't told this story before, and only people from high school actually know this story.
00:45:19
Speaker
There was a young woman. I went to a new high school the second semester of my junior year. I didn't really have any friends. There was one young lady who befriended me, and I would have lunch with her every day.
00:45:31
Speaker
My naive as didn't realize that she had a crush on me. I just thought she was being my friend. There was another young lady, one of several, by the way, because one, I was a new boy. Plus, I was good looking. But anyway, there was like yeah one young lady who really, really had a crush on me.
00:45:49
Speaker
And word got to me like she was trying to kick it with me. I did not want to kick it with her. So I'm at lunch with my friend that I normally have lunch with and I'm telling her, yeah, you know, I, I, I'm going to have to talk to her, but I hate talking to people. Cause I don't, I don't like letting women down. I still don't like doing that. And so if I, back in the day, if I could avoid it at all costs, I would.
00:46:12
Speaker
Yeah. She said to me, my friend that I'm having lunch with said, oh, I'll tell her for you. I was like, you will? Yep. Yep. Yep. I was like, you will?
00:46:22
Speaker
She's like, yeah, of course. I'll do that favor for you. i was like, thank you. She goes up to this young lady and she proceeds to say, i don't even know why you would think Bruce would be interested in you. You are ugly. You are not his type.
00:46:36
Speaker
You are not in his league. He doesn't have any feelings for you. You are barking up the wrong tree. But just goes off. I did not. I was not there when she said these things.
00:46:49
Speaker
yeah Because she said she was going handle it for me. That's my homie. Thank you. Because I'm too chicken-esque to actually do it myself. yeah Well, this young lady decided to seek revenge.
00:47:02
Speaker
Mind you, we never dated, so this wasn't a breakup, but she decided to seek revenge. And she spread a rumor about me that I did not find out was spreading and was believed until the end of the school year when I was trying to holler at another young woman.
00:47:16
Speaker
And that what that rumor was, I went up to one of my one of my crushes because, you know, always got to have a few of them. This was my main crush. She was my main crush.
00:47:29
Speaker
And i was like, hey, you know, we should get together sometime, go to a movie or something like that. Because it's the 90s. You go to the movie or something like that. You go to the movies. Or Ruby Tuesdays. You know, if you got a little bit of bread, you go to TGI ah Fridays.
00:47:41
Speaker
But mostly Applebee's Ruby Tuesdays get that too for $15. Yeah. She's like, you mean as friends? I was like, no, like like a date. She looks me dead in my eye.
00:47:54
Speaker
But aren't you gay? This woman that I decided not to be cool with had spread a rumor for the new boy in school that I was gay and people were believing it.
00:48:07
Speaker
Mind you, ladies and gentlemen, this is 1996.
00:48:11
Speaker
Yeah. This is not today. This is 1996, different era, a different time. yeah By the time I got to high school, we had a gay straight alliance.
00:48:23
Speaker
It was a club for students, you know, and they for LGBT students and allies. so But before that, that was still new. you That was very new. Ladies and gentlemen, you know how crazy, you know how quick of a turn that was?
00:48:38
Speaker
When I graduated the following year, my sister came into high school. So she and was a freshman in high school when I was a freshman in college. yeah that that's So that's how quick that was.
00:48:50
Speaker
But before that time, well, I guess everybody was really accepting because everybody just accepted it as the truth. And and i didn't even didn in but make fun of you? Well, just I mean, so yeah, I'm still me.
00:49:02
Speaker
So ain't nobody gonna try and make fun of me. I'm still like six foot four, almost 190 pounds. So like too many people plus say some say something to me. But yeah, that young lady seeks revenge. And i wholeheartedly believe She's a narcissist.
00:49:18
Speaker
Nope. No, she's not. She exists behaviors as well. No, you were just a chicken and that was handled extremely poorly. And she's also a teenage girl.
00:49:30
Speaker
So I could see her acting out in that way. So yeah, no, that, that was, that was, but at the same time you were a teenage boy. So.
00:49:41
Speaker
A teenage boy that thought like a, Pre-teen, adolescent. Yeah. So what are you going to are you going to do? These children in ah like mature situations handling it like children. So no, I don't think she was an artist. But I missed my shot. kit I missed my shot because she thought I was gay and I couldn't convince her that I wasn't.
00:50:07
Speaker
Even though I was like, no, I want to take you out for a date. She could have been my future wife. And guess what? She's still fine today. She got like six kids. She looked the same. Not the same. She looks a little bit more mature, but she looks great for her age. yeah I mean, she looks like she's like 20 years old, then had six kids.
00:50:26
Speaker
And I'm like, ah missed out. All because this young woman spreading a rumor, seeking revenge. She was a narcissist. No. All right. and
00:50:37
Speaker
Number four sign, erratic behavior. Narcissist actions can swing from affection to hostility using passive aggressive tactics to confuse and maintain influence over their partner.
00:50:52
Speaker
Gaslighting. And also, y'all gonna stop. That's another term I'm getting tired of being used. Y'all doing too much. Doing too much. Calling everybody narcissists saying everything is gaslighting.
00:51:04
Speaker
Sometimes everything isn't triggering you. Everything isn't gaslighting and everybody is not a narcissist. but These are real terms. yes These people that we're talking about absolutely are. Like the young lady that that the spread that rumor and this person that the that will take their actions and swing from affection to hostility and using passive aggressive tactics.
00:51:28
Speaker
That's true gaslighting. And what once again, It's seven things. It isn't one thing. One thing does not make you a narcissist. It's a combination of all of these things. Okay. So don't hit us up on a DM.
00:51:44
Speaker
My boyfriend was a narcissist because he would go back and forth and back and forth. No, your boyfriend was bipolar and he needed some help. Yeah. Yeah. That's not a narcissist.
00:51:55
Speaker
Or he just was passive aggressive. A lot of people are passive aggressive. um um the yeah I used to be the king of passive aggressive, as you see from my previous story. but Yes.
00:52:09
Speaker
You know what else narcissists do? yeah oh go ahead. What was you going to say? Oh, but like I was just saying, like I said earlier, it's it's like you said, it's the seven things that they do.
00:52:20
Speaker
Not one, the seven things they do. And again, it's a pattern of repeated behavior. Yep. Over a long period of time. So it's not not just because one time you dated somebody and they played the victim.
00:52:37
Speaker
Everybody plays the fool at least once. Sometimes. That's a song. No exception to the rule. That's a song, Lazy Joy. All right. Number five. Plays the victim.
00:52:49
Speaker
They often cast themselves as the wrong party to gain sympathy and support from others, sometimes recruiting third parties, a triangulation, to reinforce their story.
00:53:00
Speaker
You know what I'm talking about. they They'll be like, call my boy, my boy. see that he was He was getting on me. And you're right. She always doing stuff all the time. You're right, man. She is always doing stuff all the time.
00:53:13
Speaker
and And that person's not calling their boy out that their boy was cheating. That's the reason why she hit you with the truck. Because they knew they know damn well they homie ain't right. i was just ah Something came up on Instagram the other day.
00:53:30
Speaker
And... I think it was like women were calling men out because they were like, you you know that your boy ain't right and you still be kicking with him. And the the comedian, a man, was like, no, sometimes it's random.
00:53:44
Speaker
And we just one day are kicking it. And then they say some off the wall stuff. this They say, hey, have you ever had peanut butter in your butt crack to watch football? And like, what? no No. Why would we do something like that? It makes the game better.
00:53:59
Speaker
You know what? up what I saw real. And it was just a couple of dudes talking. And one of the dudes, they were young guys. And one of the dudes, man, I took down a 70 year old woman one time. And then everybody looked at him like he was crazy. And he said, see, I talk too much. That's my problem. And he walked away. Yeah.
00:54:20
Speaker
it
00:54:23
Speaker
Yeah. but we Men don't share. Men don't. yeah Look, my boys, my brothers that have known me for 30 years. Yeah. Don't know the story of my divorce. And my divorce was like 12, 13 years ago.
00:54:38
Speaker
They don't even know the story. They don't know what happened. Men don't talk. They don't. And they don't ask questions. And they don't. Well. So they know you got to have they asked questions.
00:54:51
Speaker
Okay. Yes. They, people have asked what happened, but you know me, I don't like people in my business. If I feel like telling you, I'll tell you. Okay. Okay. Don't ask me nothing.
00:55:02
Speaker
Okay. Hey, Bruce, how's, good how are things going? You know what? You'll never know because don't ask me. If I want to tell you how things going, I will volunteer that information.
00:55:13
Speaker
So I wasn't volunteering. And now I'm dug in. Now, even if they ask me right now, i still be like, hey, stop asking me. Okay. It was like 27 years ago. You've been remarried. got three kids.
00:55:25
Speaker
Don't anne ask me about past stuff unless I'm willing to tell you. But... Yeah, no. So playing the victim, we've all been in situations people play the victim. No. We have played the victim.
00:55:39
Speaker
Yes. ah That alone doesn't... I need some sympathy. Because you're a Leo. And everything revolves around you. Even though am dead ass wrong.
00:55:52
Speaker
yeah i'll run I'm typically more self-aware than that. All right. The final one. hovers or harasses. Even after the relationship ends, they may continue to contact, harass, and try to taint their ex-partner's reputation, sometimes alternating with periods of silence,
00:56:15
Speaker
or apparent indifference. These behaviors are driven by narcissist's need for control, admiration, and an inability to accept responsibility. yeah An inability to accept responsibility, making the end of such relationships especially tumultuous. So look, those are the seven things.
00:56:37
Speaker
if they if you We missed one. Did we miss one? What we miss? Yeah, number four, manipulates to regain control. i thought I said that. I missed that one. No, you jumped to erratic behavior.
00:56:49
Speaker
Did I? right. Oh, all right. Okay. So number seven, narcissists will manipulate to regain control. Narcissists may use guilt, false promises, or emotional manipulation to try and keep their partner in a relationship or, or control the aftermath.
00:57:09
Speaker
But that was, yeah that was the other one. Sorry. I did. I did skip that one. You know why? Cause she was late.
00:57:17
Speaker
You know I'm messing with you. Never live nothing down. I'll probably never bring it up again. You know who I am. You know, I'm a narcissist. Yes, I do. You are not a narcissist. I'm trying to just be funny at this point. I need to lean into the joke.
00:57:34
Speaker
But ladies and gentlemen, who act just like jerk I am absolutely that. And sometimes a bit of an asshole, just a bit, just a bit time to time from time to time. But you know what? It's all because I've had people do me wrong, like spread rumors about me that are untrue, that jeopardize who would have been the mother of my kids.
00:57:57
Speaker
You never, you never. No, that way I would have changed my whole life. could have been. oh No, I wouldn't have. I would have cheated on her, too. I would have went to college, cheated. I would have been good in high school.
00:58:08
Speaker
That senior year would have been my year. Yes. I wouldn't have missed prom. Yeah, but you know, there is there are strategies for people dealing with narcissists, especially at the end of a relationship.
00:58:25
Speaker
There are things that you can do to help yourself get distance, because which is really the most important thing, and to heal. So the first thing is obviously to go no contact.
00:58:38
Speaker
If you can't go no contact, because a lot of y'all have kids with a narcissist, so you can't go no contact. Gray rock method. That's where you just exhibit just no emotion. You are ah but you give that Gen Z stare.
00:58:54
Speaker
hey A narcissist cannot stand. Well, there goes my light. yeah didn let and There it goes again. I got, I banged on the table and that was the problem.
00:59:05
Speaker
A narcissist cannot stand when they can't rile you up. Hmm. Because the whole way that they get control is by manipulating your emotions.
00:59:20
Speaker
So if you give them nothing, they can't stand that. So if you do have to interact with a narcissist because you have to co-parent or what have you. Just, it's called the gray rock method.
00:59:34
Speaker
Just be devoid of emotion. You need to learn that the cycle that they get into. So there's ah there is a narcissist abuse cycle. It's four stages.
00:59:50
Speaker
They'll idealize you, which is love bombing. A lot of people know about that intense flattery. Then they'll devalue you. They'll like subtly start to criticize you, gaslight you, things like that. They'll discard you and it'll be very cold.
01:00:06
Speaker
And it is just like a sudden abandonment. And then they hover. That's one of the ones that you brought up. They'll come back. They'll try to charm you. They'll just always be around. And you'd like, why won't you leave me the hell alone?
01:00:20
Speaker
You got to learn that cycle so that you can break those bonds when you start to see it pop up and then just seek support you know find people that you trust therapy there are survivor communities out there and you can find people to support you and then just watch for that hovering don't respond to that a big hit text don't do it Don't do it.
01:00:51
Speaker
Okay. That is them trying to reel you back in because they realize that they've lost control over you. They don't want you. They want to control you. They don't want anybody.
01:01:04
Speaker
They just want, they just want them. that They want themselves and they want control. So just recognize that, recognize that it is again, a pattern of behavior.
01:01:17
Speaker
And see those places where you can break those bonds. I love that. And also cut them if you have to. Go ahead. Cut them. Yeah.
01:01:27
Speaker
Yeah. And, and. wait, are we talking about physically? Cause like a switchblade or like, or you just mean cut them off? Well, we monetize. So, I mean, cut them off. That's what I mean. Wink, wink. Also use project Pat said it best.
01:01:41
Speaker
Don't save them. They don't want to be saved. Nah. Just let them go. Yeah. Jay, you just gave him a lot. Do you want to give him anything else before we ah get up out of here?
01:01:55
Speaker
the The most important thing that we have as human beings is our identity. yeah And one of the things that a narcissist will do is try to rob you of your identity.
01:02:08
Speaker
They'll slowly separate you from your friends and your family, control what you do, what you wear, what you say, where you go. The most and important thing we have is who we are.
01:02:20
Speaker
And so that is the hardest thing to build back up.
Final Thoughts & Call to Action
01:02:24
Speaker
But just remember that there are people out there that love you as you are and there is strength in being yourself.
01:02:32
Speaker
And to tie it back into coolness, the most important part of being cool is authenticity. It's being yourself and being true to yourself and not worrying about whatever the hell everybody else got.
01:02:44
Speaker
So protect who you are at all costs. I love that. And for me, I'm going to say, appreciate the good things while you have them because they don't last forever.
01:02:58
Speaker
And I'm learning that more and more. And Malcolm jaal Jamal Warner pointed that out this week with his untimely passing because he should have been celebrated.
01:03:09
Speaker
So those people that you know out there that have talent or you love their work, celebrate them. Give them their flowers. When you're promoting them or you're posting a story or a reel from them, give them their flowers.
01:03:24
Speaker
Acknowledge it because that stuff doesn't last forever and it's gone. and it hurts like hell when it's gone. And on that note, ladies and gentlemen, I want to thank you for listening. I want to thank you for watching.
01:03:37
Speaker
And until next time, as always, I'll holler.
01:03:44
Speaker
That was a hell of a show. Thank you for rocking with us here on Unsolicited Perspectives with Bruce Anthony. Now, before you go, don't forget to follow, subscribe, like, comment and share our podcast wherever you're listening or watching it to it. Pass it along to your friends. If you enjoy it, that means the people that you rock will will enjoy it also. So share the wealth, share the knowledge, share the noise.
01:04:07
Speaker
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01:04:32
Speaker
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01:05:06
Speaker
And I'll catch you next time. Audi 5000. Peace.