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Miss Congeniality
32 Plays13 days ago
Allegedly, Emma & Katie talk about the 2000 romcom Miss Congeniality, but not without extended (slightly inaccurate) Katie rants about both the US corn surplus AND The Twilight Zone movie, a lot of TV talk, and Emma's Bougie Private Christian School for Rich Kids!
Sandy!
Michael Caine!
April 25th!
Recommended
Transcript
Reflecting on 'Happy Hump Day' Expressions
00:00:01
Speaker
Well, here we are. Hump day. Yeah. Starting off strong. Something that weird old men say to me on Wednesdays.
00:00:13
Speaker
Happy hump day. Yeah.
00:00:17
Speaker
And almost no one else. I don't think anyone but a weird old man has ever said happy hump day to me before. Yeah. I'm pretty sure I've said happy hump day many a time.
00:00:29
Speaker
And I probably have responded with this exact anecdote.
Wedding Gifts and Personal Connections
00:00:33
Speaker
Does your coffee cup say snow goose? It does. Snow goose. Snow goose. Okay. Then there's a little snow goose.
00:00:45
Speaker
That's very cute. and My water bottle says yes, chef. Yes, yes, chef. Oh my God. um mu This mug was a beautiful wedding gift from ah our friends, John and Molly ah <unk> in Chicago.
00:01:01
Speaker
They also have the most adorable dog named Roger who gets very excited and we love John Molly.
American Girl Doll Stickers and Live Show Jokes
00:01:07
Speaker
um But ah I was going to say, I saw the other day a sticker that I really want to get, which is ah it's an American Girl doll sticker.
00:01:18
Speaker
um I'm not surprised. Yeah. By the way, American Girl Doll. We are open for advertisements. Completely open for advertisements. We can do a live show from your cafe.
00:01:30
Speaker
I bet that they would pay us not to do that.
00:01:36
Speaker
um ah ah So it's the American Girl Dolls and they're um you can pick whichever one and they're holding little um signs that say not proud to be an American Girl.
00:01:48
Speaker
Oh, nice. Yeah. Right? I thought it was very... So not affiliated with American Girl Limited or whatever their company is, I imagine. I think they're owned by Mattel now.
00:01:58
Speaker
I want to say so definitely not. Yeah. Yeah. So no.
Sticker Collections and Personal Interests
00:02:03
Speaker
um but i like it and i want it and i'm gonna put it my water bottle next to my other american girl doll sticker and i should really get other stickers that are not because right now my water bottle it's so basic it's it's a i mean it's in the back back there it's a wicked it giving a white lady it's giving white lady it's the galinda with your taylor swift and american girl doll stickers on it
00:02:30
Speaker
Well, it has a sticker that says, I'd rather be reading romance. And then there there's another sticker that says, um it's um like a panther and it's going, women don't owe you shit.
00:02:42
Speaker
um But then I had to cover up shit because I was in a children's show with a mermaid sticker. So there's a mermaid over it. So it just says, women don't owe you.
Engaging Listeners with Sticker Stories
00:02:48
Speaker
oh you And then you can guess what the word is. um And then i have a Felicity of American Girl Ball sticker. So I need like some sort of like, I don't know, like freaking uh my chemical romance sticker to put on there or postal service i don't know something to really even it out that's that's still a pretty white woman to be honest it's pretty white woman i don't know not that mine is not uh i have a little ghost with a flower crown and a weird little bird a
00:03:24
Speaker
Gigi the cat from um ah ah Kiki's Delivery Service. Kiki's Delivery Service. help Yeah. Calcifer from Howl's Moving Castle. And it says, a heart's a heavy burden.
Introducing 'Go Get Your Girl' and Focus on 'Miss Congeniality'
00:03:38
Speaker
Aww. And then I have She-Ra and Catra making out from She-Ra. Oh, nice. Very nice. And then also, yes, chef. And and and in a cat dressed like Taylor Swift. That's true.
00:03:50
Speaker
so I love that. Mine's pretty white woman as well, I suppose. All of that was fascinating audio for our listeners, I'm sure. Oh, yes, absolutely.
00:04:00
Speaker
I mean, they all want to know what stickers we've got on our water bottles. And in fact, guys, if you've got fun stickers, set leave us a comment on our Instagram. Shoot us an email.
00:04:11
Speaker
Leave it in your review on Apple Podcasts. Yeah. Tell us your favorite sticker. Describe your water bottle stickers on, in a review for Apple, for Apple podcasts or whatever podcast app that you use.
00:04:27
Speaker
Exactly. As you're leaving your five-star review. Yeah. So the five-star review, if you leave a five-star review, we will read out what stickers you have on your water bottle on the podcast. And then maybe one day we will have our own stickers that you can put on your water bottles.
00:04:45
Speaker
Yeah, we could do that. That doesn't cost that much. yeah No, it doesn't. We could definitely do that. We should probably do that. should get somebody to draw a little cartoon of you and it says Emma's Fun Facts underneath it. Emma's Fun Facts, yeah.
00:04:57
Speaker
And then Charlie's Corner, but it's just a big question mark over his face because he refuses to be interviewed or pictured on this podcast. Refuses to be interviewed. Yeah, a question mark in the with the Union Jack colors and it says Charlie's Corner. Right.
00:05:12
Speaker
yeah Charlie's Corner. i
00:05:18
Speaker
Oh, I don't think I got a Charlie's Corner for this.
Plot and Genre Analysis of 'Miss Congeniality'
00:05:20
Speaker
um i can. It doesn't matter. um But anyways, that's right, guys. You guessed it. This is Go Get Your Girl. It's the podcast where Emma and Katie are FBI agents who don't care about conventional beauty. And they're just there to get the job done.
00:05:36
Speaker
It's uh but hey something happens
Director Donald Petri's Filmography
00:05:40
Speaker
and they have to go undercover at a beauty contest um no not a beauty contest sorry a scholarship program yes that's right and while they're doing that they fall in love with their partner kind of it's sort of the b plot of this movie don't worry about it their boss not their partner he's their boss like explicitly And by they, I mean our, because in this context, it's us. yeah We are both Sandy Bullock.
00:06:11
Speaker
um Correct. that's That's right. I'm Emma.
Future Plans: 'Grumpy Old Men' Coverage
00:06:16
Speaker
And I'm Katie. And today we're talking about the 2000 rom-com classic, Miss Congeniality, which is sort of a rom-com. Like, it's, I mean, it is definitely considered to be a rom-com by...
00:06:32
Speaker
like society but when you watch it you're like this isn't really a rom-com this is like i mean we'll get into it um from the year from the year 2000 uh that's the only year that we put the year in front of it yeah but in front of it yeah um And directed by Donald Petri, who I believe this is the only director that we've done three times now.
00:06:58
Speaker
This is our third
Classic Film Admiration and Personal Stories
00:07:00
Speaker
Donald Petri movie, completely accidentally. um But he directed Mystic Pizza and How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.
00:07:11
Speaker
What? Miscontinuality. Look at that. Yes. He also directed Grumpy Old Men, which we will also do one day.
Upcoming Discussion on 'The Apartment'
00:07:20
Speaker
we We will? It is a rom-com. Grumpy Old Men is a Jack Lemmon, Sophia Loren rom-com. I believe I got that right. Yeah.
00:07:30
Speaker
We're gonna do it?
00:07:33
Speaker
Yes!
00:07:36
Speaker
It's cute. Okay, listen, I have never seen a Grumpy Old Men. I've not seen Grumpy Old Men since I was at least in high school or middle school, but I remember liking it when I was a kid. So there you go.
00:07:48
Speaker
I was also like pretty into Jack Lemmon when I was a kid. I was a weird kid. Yeah, that seems like a weird fixation. But hey, you know, Jack Lemmon, the protagonist. Spoilers, the protagonist of our next film, Jack Lemmon.
00:08:02
Speaker
Oh, nice. ah Our next film, and we'll get into it at the end when I tell you, ah was a recommendation. um So I have not seen it. So i now I know nothing. I mean, I know I've wanted to see it.
00:08:14
Speaker
But anyway, so this movie, Miss Congeniality. It is written by mark Lawrence, Katie Ford, and Karen Lucas. Now, Mark Lawrence ah is a rom-com auteur,
00:08:25
Speaker
ah He wrote Music and Lyrics and Two Weeks Notice and directed those movies as well.
00:08:34
Speaker
Now, what's Katie Ford and Karen Lucas are also like TV writers and they've got some other stuff. prime merit But I will tell you, just based on IMDb, I have put together the story of how this movie came to be because all three of them were in the writer's room for a very short-lived sitcom called Monty, which starred Henry Winkler as a conservative radio host, a la Rush Limbaugh.
00:09:04
Speaker
This was in 1994. It was a it was a mid-season replacement that got canceled. after airing 10 episodes, but they filmed 13, which happens a lot.
00:09:19
Speaker
It premiered in January of 1994 and ran for 10 episodes. Also starring, the three of them were on the writer were all three in the writer's room for this sitcom, which is, I presume, how they met and probably when they started writing this movie, because they are credited together. This was written by the three of them together in a room.
00:09:37
Speaker
Also starring in the sitcom Monty with Henry Winkler playing, I believe his son, again, this is only based on the IMDb, is David Schwimmer. What? david David Schwimmer, who, this is 1994, so Friends premieres that fall.
00:09:55
Speaker
If this show hadn't have been canceled, David Schwimmer would not have been in Friends. Because he would have been under contract for Monty. Even though, I don't know when the pilot for Friends was shot.
00:10:06
Speaker
It was probably shot that, that, that, but um, the previous fall or that winter. It just depends. I don't know. Pilot season was different in the 90s, I think. Yeah. um So he probably knew that show. either shot that show before it started airing or shot the pilot while the show was airing. And I assume he thought it was going to get canceled.
00:10:24
Speaker
But... little Little fun Hollywood fact. um The reason David Schwimmer was Ross was because Monty got canceled. There you go. about that?
00:10:35
Speaker
That also made me realize um pilot season and like television and sitcom writing and like television and sitcom creation in the 90s and like early 2000s.
00:10:47
Speaker
It feels like a completely different world to what it is today. And it just seems like this sort of yeah dream world that's like a little so organized and like there's a system and there's, you know, there's, there's a way that this works and all of that fun stuff. And now it feels like the hunger games.
00:11:04
Speaker
It is very much that, yeah. And like, because, I mean, and everything's gotten much worse, we should say. Yes. So things were worse things were bad in a different way in the ninety s Yeah. So like there's some things that have gotten better. like Yeah. you yeah Not counting like the racism and sexism yeah and like zero representation of non-straight white men and everything like that.
00:11:27
Speaker
Yeah. And all the HR complaints, you know. Yeah, yeah. The casting couch stuff. Yeah. All of that was obviously way worse then. But now, in terms of, like, like just the streaming and the, like, the the loss of the small-budget and mid-budget film and, like, television is just a fucking nightmare.
00:11:48
Speaker
All of that. Because now it's like there's three years in between every season of everything because the the streamers have to place it in a way that they want. it's It's all so much worse. Like,
00:11:59
Speaker
yeah The way television used to work is you would film a pilot, you would shop the pilot, you would get the, you would wait for the upfronts where they would announce their season, you'd get picked up, you would work you know for, depending on how long the season was, a certain number of months, you'd shoot 22 episodes probably.
00:12:17
Speaker
yeah You'd have the summer off and then the next season would start right back up in the fall. And probably the quality was a lot lower of a lot of these shows, but like at least you have to wait three years in between two seasons of severance, you know? like Yeah, yeah, exactly. And like, in terms of like working as an actor, it was a little bit more consistent and a little bit more easier to navigate.
00:12:41
Speaker
Whereas you have a job where like yeah you can have a family and you can live together. You don't have to like fly all over the place. If you have like a good, like if you're on a sitcom or a network drama or something, that is a good, solid, stable job where you have insurance and you have,
00:12:56
Speaker
you know, a steady paycheck and you have a seven year contract usually on these things. yeah um And yeah, sure. There's always the fear of there's always the the the fear of getting canceled.
00:13:08
Speaker
um But it was definitely a more stable thing where you could like stay in Los Angeles or New York or, you know, wherever they were filmed. Very rarely other places besides those two cities. But you would have some semblance of a normal life instead of having to constantly like struggle to try to find yeah another job or to try to get cast in another movie.
00:13:28
Speaker
And obviously we're talking about people who would be, you know, below the line on some of this stuff, not like the stars of these things. Exactly. um Yeah. I mean, they've got they get paid enough to not worry about it. Yeah. um Now there is, it's, it's a, it's a whole host of, of other problems.
00:13:48
Speaker
Yeah. It's the constant auditioning, constant um pitching, constant. There's just there's so much content and people just want more and more and more and more and more. It's just a constant stream of. Well, I don't know if they do want more and more and more. I know that I feel like most people feel overwhelmed with the number of television shows available now. like Yeah.
00:14:10
Speaker
I think that the streamers have to push more and more and more because none of them are making money. Here's the thing. Like Netflix is not profitable. None of these, yeah these, these streamings. And now, now I'm not sure about Peacock and, and, um,
00:14:26
Speaker
Paramount Plus and the ones that are owned by larger corporations that have other streams like other major revenue streams that they can use to fund these things. But Netflix and I believe Uber and a lot of these he like huge um you know Silicon Valley ah companies are still funded by venture capital they are not profitable um and it's kind of like it's kind of like the corn problem in the united states which is a oh my god a totally different thing that's very irrelevant for this podcast but the corn problem yeah it's a whole thing i'm sure like three people who listen to this know exactly what i'm talking about the corn problem
00:15:07
Speaker
Okay, fine. I'll explain it. Okay, so in the United States, um farmers, sorry I'm going to tell you, Emma. So in the United States, farmers grow a lot of corn, right? Yes.
00:15:18
Speaker
Because that is what they, I mean, like the Midwest is fucking full of corn. If you leave Chicago, you're in the corn, you know, like there's corn out Illinois, Indiana, all of these, like, it's the corn belt.
00:15:31
Speaker
They grow a lot of corn. They grow more corn than the United States can use. um Now, some of that is is, you know, exported to other countries, but most of it is not.
00:15:42
Speaker
um They feed they they turn corn into animal feed, which is one not healthy for the animals. Cows no guts are not designed to eat corn. And they, so they are sick their entire lives. This is Katie's vegetarian corner. cows are not sp a terror again corner
00:16:01
Speaker
Cows are not supposed to eat corn. Their stomachs can't handle it. So, but they, they feed them that because there's so much corn. they We have to have something to do with it. So they sell it as animal feed. They don't care if a cow is sick their entire life because they're going to kill it for meat anyway.
00:16:15
Speaker
But the meat that they eat is not as good. That's why in my fancy restaurants, you'll see like, or you know not even fancy restaurants, but restaurants will say grass-fed beef and stuff like that. That means instead of corn, which means the cow was sick, they fed the cow grass, which is what a cow is supposed to eat. So the cow was fine.
00:16:33
Speaker
Crazy. so But the the corn problem is so so much corn is wasted. So much corn is put into corn stockpiles. They try to preserve it for another year. It goes on and on. But there's a fair there's all they're always trying to figure out new things to do with corn, which is why they have...
00:16:48
Speaker
um um corn syrup ah ethanol gasoline for example like turning corn into gasoline people are like there's there's lots of scientists all over the country and the world who are constantly trying to find new uses for corn because we produce so much of it so much corn that we don't need unfortunately for the farmer the only way to make money because the corn price will continue to go down because there's a surplus the only way to to the only way to make more money every year is to grow even more corn
00:17:19
Speaker
which seems Which seems counterintuitive, but unfortunately, the way that like market the the market prices what work on this, it's... it's cheaper for them to grow more corn for less money than it is to like rotate in something else. a then know and and And a lot of farmers do. i mean, obviously have crop rotation and stuff and they are growing other things, but it's very difficult. Once you're in this corn production pipeline, it's very difficult to to try to just grow something else.
00:17:47
Speaker
I learned all of this from a book called The Omnivore's Dilemma by Michael Pollan, which everyone should read. It's it's incredible. There you go. there i had no idea about the corn problem. I knew the United States made a shit ton of corn. I didn't realize it was that much corn.
00:18:01
Speaker
um Yeah, it's ah it's a huge problem. And the streaming thing, yeah i think, is similar. It's very similar, yeah. only Because they have so few ways to make revenue, there's no ads, they have to rely on subscriptions, and they have to rely on constantly new subscriptions. like yeah Everybody's on Netflix. like I don't see like a lot more people who are going to suddenly start subscribing to Netflix.
00:18:23
Speaker
So what yeah what they what the problem with Netflix is, they have people who unsubscribe and resubscribe and unsubscribe and resubscribe. And so in order to get these people to resubscribe, they have to constantly push new content.
00:18:36
Speaker
And they have so much content that the only way to to make any more money is to make even more content. And so they're in this this loop where they're constantly canceling and creating new shows to try to hook people to resubscribe to Netflix who have who have stopped subscribing.
00:18:54
Speaker
And there's no there's no art to to what they're making anymore. um and They're just throwing money at a problem. like Exactly, exactly. Because- as long as the venture capital firms will continue to, to fund them, they have virtually unlimited money.
00:19:11
Speaker
Um, which is why they spend, you know, $500 million dollars on a movie that looks like absolute dog shit. Uh, and I mean, and I don't mean looks like that. I haven't seen it. I mean looks like, like visually looks bad. Yeah.
00:19:26
Speaker
So say, is there a movie that you're specifically drawing upon? um Whatever that Russo bo Brothers crap was that they released a couple years ago, um they spent an absolutely absurd amount of money. It was Chris Evans, and it was this, like, action movie. What was it called?
00:19:44
Speaker
Was it The Gray Man? Is that the—yeah, The Gray Man with Ryan Reynolds. Oh, yeah. No, Ryan Reynolds. With Ryan Gosling and Chris Evans and Ana de Armas. Yeah, that was apparently bad.
00:19:56
Speaker
It was terrible and it's on Netflix. So nobody watched it and no, nobody knows if they watched it. Like they don't have to release their numbers. Like they'll say, you know, you know, 300 million people watched it. I'm like, well, did they, did they watch it?
00:20:11
Speaker
Did they, did they, or like that? Because I don't know anybody who's watched it. Right. Or that like sci-fi movie with, um, with, um, Will Smith, where he's like a, he's like a fairy.
00:20:28
Speaker
It was bad. Right. Yes, yes, yes, exactly. Bright. Yeah. And they like set it up for so many sequels. Yeah. Written by Max Landis. Yes.
00:20:40
Speaker
One of the, one of the worst people in the world, Max Landis. um That's all to be said. That all of this is very important. Allegedly.
00:20:51
Speaker
alleged Allegedly one of the worst people. Read his tweets. Like that guy fucking sucks. And his dad murdered a bunch of people. And I still think I like him less. yeah Have we not talked about John Landis in this movie? and this In this podcast before?
00:21:06
Speaker
Who is John Landis? So John Landis directed... I'm learning so much this podcast. yeah Katie's just going to rant about the film industry. love it. Landis directed The Blues Brothers.
00:21:19
Speaker
Yes. And also I think he directed Animal House. um I've never seen Animal House. He directed Trading Places. have. He directed Coming to America, all of which are great movies, and American Werewolf in London. He was a huge, huge director in the early 80s, made is some of the biggest movies of all time.
00:21:38
Speaker
I mean, Animal House, The Blues Brothers, um American Werewolf in London, and Trading Places is ah is a run of like extremely popular movies in America.
00:21:50
Speaker
And then he made the Twilight Zone movie, which was an anthology film. with Steven Spielberg, John Landis, um ah George Miller, and Joe Dante.
00:22:04
Speaker
um Four huge directors at the time made this anthology movie with four segments of The Twilight Zone, which is like a great idea and yeah could have been really, really great. And i think that I think that George Miller and Joe Dante's segments are really good. We watched it relatively recently because we watched a documentary about it and we're like, we should watch the movie.
00:22:25
Speaker
Steven Spielberg's short in the Twilight zoom Zone is the worst thing he ever made. um It's absolute garbage. um it's It's the absolute worst of all of Spielberg's bad habits and nothing and none of his good traits. It's distilled like trash from Steven Spielberg.
00:22:44
Speaker
um But John Landis' movie...
00:22:48
Speaker
John Landis, ah it it's about this guy having like flashbacks to the Vietnam War, right? The segment. And in it, there was a scene where the um there's a helicopter crash.
00:23:00
Speaker
And while they were filming it, the because of his insistence on continuing to film and his insistence on the way that these actors were supposed to be in the shot as opposed to getting them out or and because it was so late and they'd done so many takes...
00:23:16
Speaker
The helicopter crashed. It killed ah the pilot and it killed um the star of the movie and two of the children that he was holding who should not have been there.
00:23:28
Speaker
And the children were against union rules. The children had been there after their curfew and he had bullied their parents into letting them do it. They were... um And the the the the the shot is used in the movie. Like it's.
00:23:44
Speaker
And then they heat they still released it. They still released it. Yeah. um It's it's horrible. And yeah ah he was put on trial and was acquitted. And it's very clearly something that that that is his fault. And I'm sure it seems like he doesn't it doesn't like haunt him every day, but it should.
00:24:05
Speaker
It should. That's absolutely horrible. And he continued to have a career for, and he's still alive. And nothing ever happened to him because of that. And it's very sad. he's responsible for those people who died.
00:24:18
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So that's 25 minutes before we started the movie. Yeah, so that's Katie's Education Corner. ah We all learned a little something.
00:24:31
Speaker
Katie getting sued later. This is all alleged. All alleged. Well, no, it's not alleged that those people died. i putting it in for legal reasons, Katie.
00:24:44
Speaker
Yeah, I know. It's alleged that he and his son are both pieces of shit, sure. Yeah, yeah. But... yeah
00:24:51
Speaker
But the fact that those people die is a fact. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yeah. And the whole alleged thing ah is a reinforcement from um Charles, who is like, Emma, you say way too much nonsense on your podcast and you need to stop.
00:25:08
Speaker
um Or at least put alleged. So alleged! Miss Congeniality. Miss Congeniality. Miss Congeniality.
00:25:21
Speaker
uh is a movie yes
00:25:27
Speaker
it is a movie it is a classic um i have held this movie very close to my heart for ah most of my adult life um and when did see it for the first time uh i saw it i didn't see it in theaters it came out in 2000 um i must have seen it as soon as it came out on vhs or dvd or or whatever the movie stores were doing at the time uh
00:25:57
Speaker
Um, and I remember absolutely loving it and then just constantly watching it just constantly. It is like the perfect popcorn movie is the perfect. Yeah. You want to, you want to drink an entire bottle of Pinot Grigio and, um, and cry.
00:26:13
Speaker
um but like not about, but don't want to cry. Cry. I'm going to say, yeah this movie did not make me cry. Yeah. It doesn't make you cry, but it's like if you're like crying and you're out of tears and you want to watch something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah Like say you just watched The Notebook. It's good breakup movie.
00:26:30
Speaker
It is a great breakup movie. I think that's what I'm getting at. You get a jar of cookie dough and you just shovel it in your face and you watch this movie and you feel really great and fantastic until you feel gross and the body shaming starts in the movie. And then you're like, oh God, I just ate an entire thing of cookie dough. I'm not speaking from personal It happens pretty well.
00:26:49
Speaker
It happens pretty quickly, the body shaming in this movie. Yes, it does. Shocking. i And I have seen this movie relatively recently, but every time it had this part happens, I'm like, Jesus Christ. Right? um So, yeah, I definitely did see this movie in the theater, for sure.
00:27:05
Speaker
um i would have been, like, a young teen. i would have been in middle school. yeah um yeah And I obviously was super into it because it rules.
00:27:15
Speaker
yeah um yeah I've seen it many, many times since then. yeah i can quote it i was quoting it yeah obviously uh caitlin and i re-watched it a few years ago and then we decided to watch miss congeniality 2 immediately after which was a mistake because neither of us had seen had seen that since the theater yeah Also, and we didn't, we stopped it. It was like maybe 20, 30 minutes in and we're like, wow I don't want to watch this anymore. The second one is so bad. Yeah. It's so bad. I remember I saw that also from, got it from the video store um ah and did not like it.
00:27:53
Speaker
Seen it once. Yeah. Don't see it again Worse than Legally Blonde 2. Yeah.
00:28:00
Speaker
It's just, it makes no sense. It's stupid. They take away everything good that came from this movie and they're just like, money. They completely ruin her character. They make her a completely different person, basically. Yeah.
00:28:14
Speaker
Yeah. Stupid. It's stupid. ah Michael Caine is not in it, um which which is a huge loss. Yes. Heather Burns is, though, right? Heather Burns is in the sequel.
00:28:28
Speaker
I believe so. Yeah, I think she is in the sequel. Yeah. ah One of the first things that Charlie said when we started this movie, um when we got to, um oh, what's his name?
00:28:41
Speaker
The love interest in this movie. Benjamin Bratt. Benjamin Bratt. When we got to Benjamin Bratt, he goes, is that Manny's dad from Modern Family? Yes, it is. That's exactly what I said. was like, yes, it is.
00:28:55
Speaker
Yes, it is. This is how Charlie knows actors is from... From Modern Family. 2010's sitcoms. well Okay, fair enough. He knew Randall Park from The Office.
00:29:09
Speaker
Yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah. He knew, um, what's his name? He's more of a sitcom guy than a movie guy. yeah That's how we met. Well, mean, that's the most famous. yeah Timothy Amundsen, that's his most famous role, for sure. Like, yeah um it's not like Timothy Amundsen's got, like, a a big movie career and just happened to be Lassie in Sight. Yeah.
00:29:28
Speaker
No, he was also ah he was also in Supernatural, but, um. most people don't. Timothy Amundsen is, is, um he, is he, he's one of the cane brothers.
00:29:41
Speaker
Oh, that's right. That's right. That's right. Yeah. He's one of the major villains. Yeah. Yeah. But most people don't get to that season. Anyways, so this movie. So we start off with, we start in a flashback to a little baby, Sandy Bullock, who is reading her Nancy Drew book on the playground.
00:30:03
Speaker
And I do have to say, Katie, this scene, I almost directly ah it directly inspired the opening scene of our screenplay.
00:30:18
Speaker
Oh, there you go. Yeah, yeah. yeah um ah The opening scene of our screenplay where a little girl kills a cat. So... Pretty similar. Not the same.
00:30:30
Speaker
um The opposite of what hack screenwriting books will tell you to do. um So it is 1982, which immediately led me to believe how old, the how old, how old do they want us to think and Sandy Bullock is in this movie? Because um in 1982, Sandy Bullock was 18 years old. Yes.
00:30:53
Speaker
In real life. Okay. In this movie, she appears to be 10, would say. I would say 10. In the opening. Yeah. which which makes Which means in 2000, which is 18 years later, Sandy Bullock is supposed to be 28 years old ah in the in the filming of this, where where in fact she is 36 years old.
00:31:12
Speaker
um Ah. Yeah. so Well, she says she's 30 at one point. Does she say? I did not catch that. Yeah, she says for my 30 years. She says for my past 30 years. Okay, you're right. yeah for for thirty For the past 30 years, yeah. So she's supposed to be 12 in the opening then instead of 10.
00:31:30
Speaker
Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. so um So, yeah, I got wrapped around the axle on that for a while because I couldn't tell how old that little girl was supposed to be. Yeah. Yeah.
00:31:40
Speaker
It was, I mean, that that's similar to what happens when I can't tell where a movie is set, but this very clearly because they tell you New Jersey and then New York city, but, uh, New Jersey and then San Antonio, Texas, and San Antonio, Texas, San Antonio, Texas, home of the Alamo.
00:31:57
Speaker
Have you ever been to San Antonio, Texas?
00:32:01
Speaker
I've never been to Texas. What? That's not true. um we We went to Texas very briefly when I was very young and lived in Memphis, but that's the only time I've been to Texas. yeah I went to high school and i don't plan on going now. Yeah, I wouldn't go now.
00:32:15
Speaker
I know. I mean, Austin, I'm sure, is fine, but um but don't go outside of Austin. I went to high school in Houston. This film was not shot in New York City or New Jersey. It was shot in Austin and also San Antonio, obviously. yeah Yeah.
00:32:29
Speaker
Yeah. But the ah principal photography was in or the studio stuff was in Austin. Yeah. Not in New York. Nice. Very, very nice. um Well, they did a great job of making you think that you were in New York City.
00:32:42
Speaker
Yeah. um for that for whenever we see her as an adult um but yeah i've been to the alamo i've been to san antonio a few times baby one of them humble brag was for all state choir what what there you go So are there canals in San Antonio? Because they kept showing these little boats like going through. like go basically there is like, there's the San Antonio, there's like the river.
00:33:12
Speaker
um And you, the river walk is like ah the biggest attraction besides the Alamo. And so like, there's a lot of shops and like restaurants and things that are on the river walk.
00:33:22
Speaker
And so you can just sort of like walk down and like, look at this beautiful bit of water. And then you can take like, you know, a water taxi or like, you know, like a tour down the river and stuff. Um, very dedicated listener, Erin Ostend is from San Antonio, Texas, I will say.
00:33:37
Speaker
Uh, so she knows a little bit more about it, um, than I do because she actually lived there and I've only been twice. Once to, as on a family trip to go to San Antonio and visit the Alamo and then once for Allstate Choir.
00:33:53
Speaker
Allstate Choir. Yeah. Mm-hmm.
00:33:57
Speaker
Um, my Allstate Choir trip was to Nashville, of course, because I'm from Tennessee. Yeah. At the Opryland Hotel, which was still open then when I was in middle school, high school? High Middle school? Middle school. High school is when Allstate
00:34:15
Speaker
We did it in middle school. It might have been a different, like, conference or something, but it was it was state choir, for sure. Ah. Well.
00:34:26
Speaker
um Anyways, so. And then we went we also went to Six Flags over Georgia for choir trip. Oh, very nice. Except I've the Six Flags. We on lots of choir trips. That's why I took choir. Yeah.
00:34:37
Speaker
Oh, yeah. I went on a lot of choir trips, too. I went on choir trips to China and to Greece and to England, Scotland, and Wales. Okay. You win, then. Wow.
00:34:50
Speaker
and to turkey hold on just real quick did you go to uh bougie uh private school for rich kids don't know what you're talking about um did i uh yeah that's right okay one of us went to public school in tennessee and one of us went to uh bougie private school for rich kids bougie private school for rich kids where i got probably a worse education but a better religious education almost definitely yeah yeah well um better in that it gave me my sister and my brother all religious trauma to where none of us are religious at all anymore right yeah that'll do it ted cruz's kids go to my school anyways so miss congeniality jesus christ
00:35:42
Speaker
It's not a brag. It's just to tell you what kind of school it is. yeah yeah, yeah, for sure. ah Seems like a bad one. Not great. Allegedly.
00:35:52
Speaker
Allegedly.
00:35:55
Speaker
not gonna name it um yeah so we we open up so again this is an action rom-com this is i think only the second action rom-com we've covered after lost city yeah also with sandy bullock oh yeah sandy bullock loves her in action rom-com i mean she was in speed isn it Well, it's because, I mean, she's kind of an action star. like saying like She did her own stunts.
00:36:18
Speaker
She did her own stunts in this movie. Like, all the fighting between her and Benjamin Brad is really the two of them. did She did? Yeah, she's good at this. Like, she can do that. Yeah, those, those like, the kickboxing stuff, that's all her. I fucking love her.
00:36:31
Speaker
She rules. We love Sandy. We love Sandy Bullock. You can tell because we both call her Sandy. Right? we know her personally. We're close friends. know what she likes to be called, and it's not Sandra. It's Sandy. Yeah. Yeah.
00:36:43
Speaker
Like Bob De Niro. yeah yeah Or Annie Hathaway. um Oh, is it Annie? That's Annie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We don't know any of these people.
00:36:56
Speaker
Not personally. Yeah. So she is. Yeah. She lives in New Jersey in a terrible apartment. But we open on this on a sting, I guess. Or it's not a sting. It's a stakeout of ah the Russian mob. Yeah.
00:37:10
Speaker
ah and she screws it up because the guy is choking to death and she has empathy this is the in interpret to bring him up the hack screenwriting book save the cat this is her save the cat moment yeah where this russia it's right at the beginning of the movie russian mobster is choking on a peanut and even though he they're there to arrest him she saves his life and it backfires on her because when she gives him the Heimland maneuver, he grabs a knife. It's a whole thing.
00:37:36
Speaker
An agent gets shot. yeah She feels responsible. She, Ernie Hudson, who's her boss, like benches her and says, you're not on the, and you know, you're riding the desk for a while because you screwed this up. But I do have thought. I do have a thought. Okay. I know, i know we do need to get into the movie, but this is like my biggest hangup and in rewatching this movie is that she, I've watched a lot of law and Order SVU.
00:38:01
Speaker
I've watched, um Hundreds of hours of Law & Order SVU. I feel like I have a legal degree from yeah from Detective Stabler and Olivia Benson.
00:38:15
Speaker
um Yeah, so that's your criminology degree, just like my law degree from The Good Way. Exactly, exactly. I feel like what Sandra Bullock did... was probably what you should have done because had she let that mobster die then who would they testify in court because the whole idea was to arrest him and then prosecute him and then maybe you know get more mobsters or like bring down other like mobsters but like if they let him die you lose all of that so like her giving him the heimlich maneuver yeah
00:38:50
Speaker
Are you suggesting that Miss Congeniality doesn't have, like, the best grasp on FBI procedure and protocols? I mean, I'm thinking that, like, they should have absolutely saved him if he was choking and not let him die, because then you're just flushing the entire investigation down the drain.
00:39:08
Speaker
Like... If there's anything I know about cops, it's that they let people die. That's like the number one thing cops do. But it would be so detrimental to the investigation.
00:39:23
Speaker
Yeah. Not only is he their target, but also he has information that they need. You can't get it out of a dead man.
00:39:34
Speaker
Yeah. but Yeah, I agree. Sorry, I just... I had those thoughts. So that's all part of it. She's, she's got this like chip on her shoulder about like, um, like being, uh, like responsible for this, this agent that got shot whatever. She feels really guilty.
00:39:54
Speaker
Yeah. Um, we meet Benjamin Bratt, who is a part of the team and, uh, he, they, they go to bar. He's dating an undergrad in college, by the way Yeah.
00:40:04
Speaker
He likes them young. Not great. Cool. One of the biggest things in this movie is that Benjamin Bratt is unlikable, a real piece of shit, and you don't care if they get together. Exactly. He sexually harasses his employee multiple times by slapping her at him multiple times.
00:40:27
Speaker
ah hu He is an idiot. He's waiting to happen. Yes. ah He sucks, and I don't know why we're supposed to like him. was the most attractive guy in the cast i guess i guess yeah yeah well that's why everybody else is like in their late 70s i suppose and they're the only two fbi agents who look like humans in their 30s yes um
00:41:00
Speaker
So, yes, um they go. to She goes to a bar and gets a pint of ice cream. And she says she's getting chip face, which I like. that Yeah, I loved that. um ah He's dating a child and she says, have fun at the mall.
00:41:18
Speaker
She's got a lot of really good zingers. Yeah. She's got a lot of zingers to herself. Yeah. And then she laughs and snorts. Yeah. I love it. ah She's a Jersey girl. yeah Sandra Bullock is doing an accent yeah in this movie. um And um there's a serial terrorist yeah bomber kind of person.
00:41:38
Speaker
um who they are trying to catch there's he leaves these ciphers um that they're trying to break and in this cipher they find out that he's going to attack the miss united states pageant yes definitely not miss america don't worry about it correct which was of course miss america is the one that's owned by donald trump or is that miss universe i don't fucking donald trump owns one of them i thought he owned both of them yeah i don't know he's a creep
00:42:06
Speaker
um Among the other things Understatement of the year The least controversial thing ever said on this podcast And And then here comes The like most uncomfortable scene in this movie yeah Where Two things First of all the dress up Sally website Is amazing technology How do we not have that now That and the clueless closet Like what the fuck Yeah Because we don't have the technology. Both those things are impossible.
00:42:39
Speaker
ah Yeah, like but we've got chat GPT. To do that, it would take AI 10 hectares of Amazon rainforest, and um and it would look like shit at the end of it anyway. like that's That's what we got we've got now. Absolute bullshit. To try to mimic the Dress Up Sally web website from 2000, which appears to be running on America Online. Right. Yeah.
00:43:04
Speaker
Where what they can do on this website is take a photo of a person and put clothing on them and it looks seamless and perfect. um And they know what everybody wears underneath their clothes.
00:43:16
Speaker
Like what their bodies look like underneath their clothes. What everyone looks like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah um so yeah, exactly. How? how
00:43:28
Speaker
So they're taking, they're having some fun yeah by taking, they're like all the women agents, under all the women field agents under 35. And they're like, oh well, there's only like five of them. Yeah. And they all look like they're 80.
00:43:42
Speaker
Well, and they're all like, it's just, it's really body shaming. And it's really, it's all these men and a couple of women like standing around the computer, like laughing at these people, like getting put into bathing suits. It's really, it's really bad. Yeah.
00:43:55
Speaker
It's not great. Like this movie came out 25 years ago. Let's remind everyone. There's several moments that that really you can tell. And this is definitely one of those. Yeah. Yeah.
00:44:06
Speaker
Yeah. So they put all bunch of different people into the bathing suits, including Benjamin Bratt and Ernie Hudson, yeah which is fair, I suppose. Yeah. But then they put Sandra Bullock in there and they're like, oh, actually you're hot. actually Her hair is a mess and she's not really, i mean, she's wearing makeup because she's in a movie, but she's like supposed to be, you know, quotes, not wearing makeup.
00:44:30
Speaker
And her hair looks like shit, but that's pretty much all they've done yeah to Sandra Bullock. She still has flawless bone structure. Yeah, yeah. and is incredibly fit. yeah And...
00:44:44
Speaker
so But they're all surprised by this. And so he's like, okay, well we can we can get you off the bench to go and enter this beauty pageant undercover to try to like find this terrorist or whatever, which is a ludicrous plotline.
00:45:00
Speaker
But they What they should have done was shut down the beauty pageant. Exactly. Which they have like a throwaway line saying like the network refused to do it. which like I mean, I guess if Donald Trump owns it, that's fair. like Yeah.
00:45:14
Speaker
And then like the first time they're, they pitch this to the people running the pageant. They're like, absolutely not. This is insane. All of the contestants are already picked. And they're like, oh, well, we dug up some information on coincidentally, Miss New Jersey, which is the only one that our agent could be because she is from New Jersey and has a thick New Jersey accent.
00:45:37
Speaker
So your Miss New Jersey was ah in Armageddon. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.
00:45:45
Speaker
Which good title. That is a really good title. The people who run the pageant are Candace Bergen and William Shatner. Both doing great work at here. William Shatner. Chef's cook. And so they're like, she's going to do it. And they're like, okay, well, we need help. So they hire Michael Caine, who is a beauty pageant coach and is the best part of this movie. Yes.
00:46:06
Speaker
He's amazing. He's fantastic. this is a This is a platonic comedy about her relationship with both Michael Caine and Heather Burns. That's what this movie is actually about. oh for sure Oh, for sure. 1000%. My one note is I fucking love Michael Caine.
00:46:23
Speaker
Everything that comes out of his mouth in this movie is just comedy gold.
00:46:29
Speaker
Mm-hmm. He is playing a you know, 70-year-old um gay ah queen, yeah basically. Just absolutely... yeah And he's not is that pushing it too hard. It's not, like, offensive. at But it is...
00:46:44
Speaker
and it's It's realistic for someone who does this for a living, I think. I agree. Michael Caine's a great actor. He's great. And he takes this seriously. Yeah, exactly. Just like Muppet Christmas Carol. Like, this is why Michael Caine is one of the greatest actors of all time. he knows the assignment and he executes it with the commitment and the dedication of a Shakespearean actor.
00:47:10
Speaker
Yeah, he's not hamming it up. He's not being like too, he's not being homophobic. he's He's doing a great job. Yeah, I think it's a really good performance. love him. um And he takes her and like what appears to be about 15 people working on her constantly to to make her beauty pageant ready. Yes.
00:47:28
Speaker
um They're waxing her fingers. Yeah. ah Which is insane. Yeah. But, i you know, it really sort of... Never had my fingers waxed. Neither have I. But but ah this movie, boy, oh, boy, it did ingrain some really unrealistic beauty standards in little... Oh, really?
00:47:45
Speaker
Shocking. Yeah, shocking. Yeah. Right? um Was I then constantly worried about the hair on my knuckles? Yes. Who would have thought? Was I um constantly worried about my eyebrows?
00:47:58
Speaker
Yes. Who would have thought? Mm-hmm. Was I concerned? Oh yeah. It's a big eyebrow movie. Big eyebrow movie. um Similarly to Princess Diaries. They ah are like.
00:48:09
Speaker
Oh yeah. Yeah. ah ah Did i also question what a normal body size was as they kept insinuating that Sandra Bullock needs to stop eating food?
00:48:24
Speaker
Yes. Yes, I did. Yeah. Knocking donuts out of her hand and replacing it with celery and carrots. Yeah. Yep. Yep. Yep. Boy, oh boy. It's not good. No, but it is the best makeover montage.
00:48:36
Speaker
I believe in all of cinema. This is my favorite makeup or makeover model. Did I say make out or makeover? You said it right the first time. Yeah. Makeover montage. Makeover montage.
00:48:48
Speaker
Favorite makeover montage. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and she looks like, uh, $1 billion dollars coming out of that airplane hangar. To be fair. She does not look like she has not slept at several points. They're like, no, she's like, I haven't slept in two days.
00:49:03
Speaker
And like, girl, I would be a hot damn ass.
00:49:08
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. um The biggest thing they do is they fix her hair, which she's wearing this terrible wig, like, in the beginning of the movie, and then she's not. And that's basically it. Done. Done and done.
00:49:20
Speaker
And they have her, obviously, there she's wearing, and she's, like, messy and clumsy because, you know, she's a rom-com protagonist. Yeah, exactly. like And, ah yeah, her falling down in the apartment immediately made me think of Amy Poehler falling down the stairs, and they came together.
00:49:35
Speaker
Comedy genius. Yes.
00:49:38
Speaker
Which is crazy because like she can fight really well. yeah So like why would she be that clumsy? It's because her apartment's messy and she's slipping on something maybe, I suppose. guess. I think so. But also she can't walk in heels.
00:49:49
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. She's wearing these like oversized shirts and there's always like stains on them and stuff. She just doesn't care about her appearance. You know, she's a guy's guy. Right, right, right, right. Yeah, yeah.
00:50:01
Speaker
they ah They go to the beauty pageant. They go to San Antonio, Texas. the The beauty pageant lasts three days, which, like, I don't know anything about beauty pageants. But aren't beauty pageants usually, like, a single event? Like, it's one thing because it's, like, on television and sometimes it's live? Well, I think that, like, there's, like, there's, like, a ah ramp up to it.
00:50:22
Speaker
I think. Like, there's, like, other beauty pageants that have to win. Well, the swimsuit competition, the beauty pageant, that the... the The swimsuit competition is a separate day than the last day. Yeah. Like that it is, it is a three day beauty pageant.
00:50:37
Speaker
I don't know anything about beauty pageants. I don't know. Me neither, but I don't think that's accurate. I just think they needed the time, you know, for her to like do a beauty pageant thing and then talk to people and do FBI things and do a beauty pageant thing. And then like, but I don't think that's how they work.
00:50:51
Speaker
Yeah. She meets the great Heather Burns. Amazing. ah Who has appeared on this podcast before He in. What was Heather Burns in? Oh, the movie, What's Your Number?
00:51:04
Speaker
She was in What's Your Number? And she was in... Oh, yeah. I want to say something else. But I remember she had like a throwaway part in What's Your Number? Yeah, yeah. She's ah she's great. she's Oh, she was in You've Got Mail. You've Got Mail, course.
00:51:20
Speaker
um She's Meg Ryan's friend. Yeah, who's 20 years younger than her. Don't worry about it. And this is probably what she's best known for because she is, she steals the show.
00:51:34
Speaker
She's absolutely amazing. Heather Burns is. Yeah. And it's amazing that she didn't like have a bigger career after this. Like you'd think she would have gotten i like her own rom-com or something after this. If I had been her agent, I would have been like, you know, pushing her so hard. right I mean, you know what i mean? Like,
00:51:50
Speaker
yeah not pushing her physically mean pushing her pushing people to cast her yeah um you know it might have been that like because of that because of this she was only seen as like a side character role and she could only get those characters you know like sometimes actors get yeah um pigeonholed you just get stuck in that role yeah ah there There's some homophobic remarks yeah between ben ah Benjamin Bratt and Michael Caine. He's really homophobic also. Like, the guy sucks so much. I don't know why we're supposed to like him. yep
00:52:23
Speaker
Yep. He's our love interest, baby. They need to find a talent for her. ah She says, I'm going to do something I haven't done since high school. And Michael Caine immediately says, you are not having sex on that stage.
00:52:36
Speaker
Which is... fucking hilarious absolute comedy um yeah and what she does do is play the crystal like glass wine glasses like with various water very impressive does her finger and she plays the dr jivago theme on them right is which is crazy yes and some but so for some reason dressed like a uh german milk i know we don't ah but like they're all over the pageant i don't know why
00:53:08
Speaker
Like, because you see them in the background several times at the hotel. i don't know. Yeah, it's got to be some kind of thing. It's probably sponsored by, like... Germany? Heineken, or... I was trying to think. I don't think Heineken's Belgian, I think. What is... Lugenschlaffel. I don't know beer.
00:53:26
Speaker
Spiegelschberger. Nope, that's Swedish. Yeah. um And then, like, you know, she is... She's very dismissive of beauty pageants, which, you know, she should be.
00:53:40
Speaker
um And this movie is is about her kind basically coming to terms with like opening herself up to and like acquiring female friends. Yeah. um That's really what the movie's about.
00:53:58
Speaker
Like it wants to make this thing about like how beauty pageants can be like a good for the world. And like these girls are trying to get college scholarships and all that I think is kind of true on the surface, but they're also deeply misogynist. Yeah.
00:54:14
Speaker
um run by corporations and the worst people in the world literally the worst um exploitative and like um like full of of of cases of of sexual assault yeah and um um none of those things are really like talked about in this movie as much as it is is about like she's found a way to make female friends yeah which is which is good and the point of the movie despite the the beauty pageant kind of setting yeah because i mean like an excellent example is that so they have the swimsuit competition which is a separate day which is also they do interview questions and it's on the riverwalk and i think it's like day two then they have the big like broadcast um at the convention center
00:55:04
Speaker
And they announce the 10 finalists after they do the fabulous, like, opening number dance, which is amazing. um But, like... As soon as they announce the 10 finalists, the 10 finalists get to walk off to go prepare their um talent for the live broadcast.
00:55:23
Speaker
The rest of the 40 contestants then have to change it back into their swimsuits to waltz around the stage. And I'm like, they're making the losers walk around in their bathing suits?
00:55:36
Speaker
It makes no sense. Bikinis, yeah. That's awful. Yeah, that sucks. Why? ah Yeah. So I was like, that's not necessary. ah They got to commercial.
00:55:48
Speaker
If you don't have time for shit, like, I don't, just don't make the losers walk around in their bathing suits. Like, what the fuck is the point of that? um Although, to be fair, that's probably realistic. yeah That sounds like something that one of these things would do. yeah
00:56:05
Speaker
is um I believe is is the Miss America pageant what Donald Trump was talking about when he told ah Billy Bush that you could just grab him by the pussy. Was that?
00:56:18
Speaker
He's talking about going backstage at the Miss America pageant? so, yes. I don't know. Yeah, so that's the second time that event has come up on this podcast.
00:56:28
Speaker
Billy Bush was in. He was in another movie. It was in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Yes, Billy Bush jump scare. um Yes. And I believe he's talking about the Miss America pageant. yes um Yes. They have the interview section where, like, this is what Caitlin was at her friend Julie's house. And she came home right when I was watching the ah the part where, the most famous line from this movie.
00:56:53
Speaker
They asked Heather Burns, what's her idea of a perfect date? And she, of course, says. April 25th.
00:57:00
Speaker
April 25th. It's not too hot. It's not too cold. It's not too All you need is a light jacket. Yeah. I mean, she's not wrong. She's not wrong.
00:57:12
Speaker
And the thing about, like, that this movie does that you might not remember, like, that's a very memorable part of this movie, but, like, immediately she's like, oh my god, I fucked up. Like, I yeah i got nervous, and I just, I couldn't, like, she's not supposed to be that stupid, you know? Yeah, exactly.
00:57:27
Speaker
And she gets really sad. And they have this whole scene, and Yeah, they have this bit where the FBI tells them like um the the terrorist is a woman because we found the DNA in the saliva of the envelope that was licked.
00:57:42
Speaker
ah So we need to you need to get closer to these to these women. And Heather Burns's character was arrested for like an environmental protest or something. Yeah. um so she's like do some girl talk and she's like okay well i need the fbi out if i'm gonna do girl yeah i can't have girl talk with a guy in my head i can barely do it with me in my head yeah michael cain says you know girl talk leg waxing fake orgasms uh the inability of men to commit and she goes like well then why don't you just go talk to them but I don't think we've talked about any of those things on this podcast before. We've done like 75 episodes, probably. Any of those.
00:58:20
Speaker
I mean, the closest I think is fake orgasms because it comes up in When Harry Met Sally. Uh-huh. Yeah. But, uh... But that was that was... We didn't talk about our own fake orgasms. No, no. Nobody needs to know about that.
00:58:36
Speaker
And we won't. Yeah. yeah It ruins the illusion.
00:58:45
Speaker
I feel like you just did talk about that little bit. Um, they, so she, she like, like seduces these girls with pizza and beer yes and convinces them to go to a bar, which the bar seems rad as a hell. It's just so fucking cool. I immediately was like,
00:59:04
Speaker
Where, where, so it's like the blue man group where they're like drumming with the paint on the drum. But you get to be the blue man. I want to go to that bar. Exactly. Yeah. Where do we go to this bar, Emma? Right? Because like.
00:59:16
Speaker
I want to go to a paint drum bar. have your choice of like, of like eating and drinking or you can go dance or you can be on stage drumming with paint. Yeah.
00:59:27
Speaker
want to do that. I know what I'm picking. Right? Drumming with paint. And then so she gets close with with Heather Burns and they start talking about stuff and she's like, I've never stolen anything. And she's like, yes, I stole a pair of red underwear once.
00:59:41
Speaker
Yes. And then- Satan's panties, they call them. I was going to you can say what it is because I hate the P word. I hate it so much. It makes me so uncomfortable. You hate panties?
00:59:52
Speaker
I hate that word. I hate it so much. They're just underwear. That's really common. That's really common. It's just- Yeah, yeah. I also don't- i it's i don't say that yeah it's not because i don't hate i don't like the word it just sounds like i don't know there's something like young juvenile paternalistic and like yeah it sounds juvenile yeah it does it sounds juvenile and it sounds like you're trying to equate a woman's underwear as like some sort of like lolita child yeah young thing um and it's gross exactly and i don't like it yeah um then she tells a horrifying story about her um her college professor uh sexually assaulted yeah um and she's like i've never told anyone that and like and which again two two of the three people writing this movie two were women and i you know have to uh um
01:00:46
Speaker
Assume that this was this something that they wrote. yeah um And that is what buy by that binds them together. She's like, no, that's not okay. Like, you, we need to teach you to defend yourself. yeah Yes.
01:01:01
Speaker
But she's too drunk and she she passes out. So they can't do it then. But it is what inspires her to later change her talent after the girls drink the water out of her glasses. Which is just like, come on, there wasn't a sign.
01:01:11
Speaker
Which silly. There was no sign on the water. yeah You can't put more water in those glasses. all right yeah exactly it's all very so she's like okay so i'll do a self-defense uh uh class so in her talent she brings out benjamin bratt and beats the absolute shit out of him which rule yes um which is i mean i don't know about you but this was a key moment in teaching me self-defense oh sure yeah um sing yeah solaplex instep yeah knee goink
01:01:45
Speaker
Oh, nose. Sorry. Nose. Nose and groin. What is goink, Oh, I thought said goink. Goink is groin. What is goink? Goink is groin. Like a penis.
01:01:56
Speaker
Like a goink. Do you call a penis a goink? No, but I thought it was like a cute little goink. Oh, okay. You thought it was specific for this movie that she called it a goink.
01:02:09
Speaker
Okay, alright, that's normal. that's okay okay I'll let that pass. yeah If you called penises goink, we were going to have to camp out on that for a minute and like delve into the psychology of that.
01:02:23
Speaker
Goink.
01:02:26
Speaker
um We find out around this time, um oh well, the FBI gets pulled yeah ah because they catch the terrorist, and Sandy is like, Well, no, I think that this, but the but it was supposed to be the DNA matched a woman. And i what if this person was a copycat? because Because the cipher was different. It wasn't the same. And like, I think that there something's going on here. And they're like, you're stupid. And they all leave. And so she has to stay on her own and put and give up her badge and gun.
01:02:56
Speaker
We find out immediately that Candace Bergen and her large adult son are the is is really the terrorist, and they have C4 in the crown, and they're going to kill her.
01:03:08
Speaker
Here's the question. Why? Why? Why do they have What is Candace? Candace? Why is, what is, Candace Bergen got fired from the pageant, so she's gonna murder the, the, why doesn't she, like, like, ruin the pageant? That is her ruining the pageant. mean, I guess killing somebody was, yeah.
01:03:27
Speaker
Well, i know, but like, I don't understand why murdering the innocent person is the solution here. Because it's a big flashy thing. Because she works in showbiz. She's got to do something big and flashy.
01:03:38
Speaker
um Like murder. By blow exploding the head of the winner of the pageant. yeah Exactly. um Don't forget. Sandy comes off like so charming. Yeah. That's true. That's true.
01:03:49
Speaker
Sandy comes off so charming in this, in the latter part of this this thing, though. Like, her interview stuff, like, the um ah the the talent thing, like, you do, it does kind of sell the fact that she would have a chance to win this, yeah which I did appreciate. Me too.
01:04:06
Speaker
Um, because she's Sandy Bullock, she's one of the most charming actors in the world. Exactly. you know exactly You're just like, wow, she like really learned a lesson because she, she thought that this beauty pageant, um, was elitist and, um, you know,
01:04:24
Speaker
was anti-feminist and her response is well i used to be one of them but then i came here and i met these girls and they changed my life and you're like yes sandy yeah yeah i don't know how i feel about beauty pageants but okay you can still be against beauty pageants and and be into female friendship yeah um the the Heather Burns is, like they had this conversation about how she's afraid to do fire in her baton twirling, which is her talent.
01:04:56
Speaker
And ah Sandy tells her, you ate pizza, you stole panties, you're a wild woman. um But, I mean, they they really should have, i don't know, I feel like trained Heather Burns a little bit better with baton twirling.
01:05:12
Speaker
Because you can really tell the difference when it's Heather Burns and when it's the stunt double. Yeah. Oh, yeah, it cuts to the stunt double who's got, doing them her leg stuff with the fire. Yeah, doing, like, flips and, like, throws. Yeah. Like, when you first see her doing the batons, she's just twirling it, like, marching, and she's like... It's like high school. Yeah. And I'm like, how is that... How did she make it here?
01:05:35
Speaker
I mean, have you ever twirled a baton? It's hard. I've not, but I went to camp with a girl who was a baton twirler, and she used to do it as her talent for talent show night. Yeah. I used to make everyone listen to me sing.
01:05:46
Speaker
Um...
01:05:51
Speaker
Emma's a very talented singer and that is not a punishment. That is not a punishment. um It was when I was 10. Benjamin Bratt doesn't, doesn't, well, yeah. Benjamin Bratt doesn't have her back. He, he leaves her there and eventually comes back.
01:06:08
Speaker
Not really because he believes in her, but because he gets evidence. Yeah. Because he gets evidence from Michael Caine. He believes the man, but not Sandy Bullock. Again, um terrible human. Why is he the love interest?
01:06:20
Speaker
She beats the shit out of him on stage, which I guess is supposed to be part of the, like, you know, they're more, they're put them on equal ground. Like she, he does this thing to her, but then she beats the shit out of him, but still doesn't matter. yeah They announced the top five. She's in the top five.
01:06:35
Speaker
um One of, i don't remember what state she's from, but one of them is like a lesbian got of the top 10. I love you, Cheryl. And then her girlfriend's like, I love you Yeah. um And then the, it keeps cuts to the, um, the booth and the operator guy is just like, okay, cut to my, cut to commercial, cut to commercial. Can we say lesbian? And his employee turns to him and goes, what, you got a problem with that?
01:07:00
Speaker
It's great. Yeah. The director is very funny. The director of the broadcast of the live, but it keeps cutting to him, like having to react to these things. And it's, it's very funny. He's great. I don't know that actor's name, but he did a great Yeah, job did a very great job.
01:07:16
Speaker
um then there's this whole thing where they have the crown um sand sandy gets second place heather burns wins the pageant which is um um the only way we could have done the movie exactly and but sandra has but like the the crown gets placed in her head but but sandy finds out that the the bomb is in the crown and she's trying to like get the crown away from her to save her life but heather burns thinks that she's gone crazy and is trying to steal the crown from her she keeps hitting her with the roses it's yeah very funny miss texas comes up there's a scuffle for it Yeah, she punches Miss Texas right in the nose, breaks her nose.
01:07:51
Speaker
um It's great. It's very, very funny. yes um it ah they She throws the crown up why right when it gets detonated and it blows ah the the the stage apart.
01:08:05
Speaker
um And that's that's basically the movie. And then ah her and Benjamin Bratt kiss. And then... Yeah, which that again, like the you think I'm gorgeous. You want to date me. You want to kiss me.
01:08:20
Speaker
Yeah. Again, so charming. And he gives us absolutely Absolutely nothing. um Yeah. They kiss, I guess. That's fine. Whatever. ah But the real like the real ending is when they call her back and they give her Miss Congeniality, which in a beauty pageant, for those of you who don't know, is the contestant's vote.
01:08:42
Speaker
like who was their favorite? Like who's the, who's the best friend? yeah Like who, who did, who did they all like the best? And they voted for her. um And then that, and then she like has this little speech about like what all of this female friendship has meant to her. yeah Yeah.
01:08:57
Speaker
And, um and Michael Caine like smiles at her and that's the end of the Yeah. And it's great. And it's the end of the movie and it's just sort of like, you're in, you're out, you get some comedy, you get fucking Benjamin Bratt, whatever.
01:09:10
Speaker
Yeah. ah But it's it's a good time. Had by all. A great time. I really enjoyed it. um Charlie's Corner is yeah the one comment that he did make in the movie.
01:09:21
Speaker
um Besides, where's the ROM in this comm? ah yeah he yeah He said ah when she is driving to Starbucks to pick up all of the orders for her team after she messes up the um the sting operation,
01:09:39
Speaker
ah She does some crazy driving. And Charlie, who is currently learning to drive, goes, well, that's some dangerous you driving.
01:09:55
Speaker
That's cute. Yes. Yes. He's he's good husband. He's he's learning to drive.
01:10:02
Speaker
Yeah. any Any other thoughts? What are we doing next week? Oh, yes. Oh, yeah, that's it. That's Miss Congeniality. Amazing. um and We gave ah we gave a spoiler because we record sometimes we record these two in a week. And so we need to know in advance what they're doing. Sometimes when one of us tells the other what we're doing next week, it is a surprise. And sometimes we already know. Yeah.
01:10:22
Speaker
you'll have to guess when those times are. listen Exactly. um Seeing as we sort of hinted at it at the beginning. So this is a recommendation from new listener and castmate of Emma in the ferryman, Jeremy.
01:10:41
Speaker
Again, I cannot remember his last name. It starts with a G. ah It's Gable. It's Gable. ga Jeremy Gable. Shout out to Jeremy Gable. New listener, Who I once went to a theater festival with. Yes.
01:10:57
Speaker
And when Emma like when emma posted like the thing of the cast, I'm like, hey, that's weird. I know him. Yeah. The theater world is very small. It's very small. We weirdly have like three friends in common. It's very bizarre because none of them live in Connecticut. Yeah.
01:11:11
Speaker
um they're all in chicago uh but and he had never lived in chicago um but yes so he recommended the apartment which i've never seen but has been on my list for years so we are going to be doing one of my favorite movies of all time classic the apartment Boom, baby. 1960, Billy Wilder, Jack Lemmon, and Shirley MacLaine.
01:11:34
Speaker
Amazing. One of the greats. Yeah. And so, yeah, that'll be next week. I'm excited. Super great. Shall we outro? We shall outro. Thank you for listening to Go Get Your Girl. If you like us, tell your friends, and please rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
01:11:52
Speaker
It helps out a lot and we would really appreciate it. Thanks to Andrew Milliken and Nick Svoboda for our theme music and Elena Henderson for our artwork. You can follow us on Instagram at GoGetYourGirlPod or email us at GoGetYourGirlPod at gmail.com.
01:12:06
Speaker
You can follow me on social media at Emily M. Pizza and me at Katie of the Lake. Until next time, we're just two girls standing in front of the internet asking you to love us.
01:12:18
Speaker
Good night. All right.