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Give Yourself Permission
10 Plays6 years ago
This week's episode is abut giving yourself permission to live your best life and be your best self!
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Recorded, Produced and Edited by: Éliane Anita
Track Produced by: Devo Beats
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Transcript
Podcast Return and Personal Updates
00:00:17
Speaker
Hi guys, welcome to the Alienita podcast where we get down to business every week. My name is Alien and I am back bringing you a brand new fresh podcast. Guys, I've got something explaining to do. I know that I have not podcast since March of this year and it is because I have been busy with working on my company.
00:00:42
Speaker
For some of you all who follow me on social media, you know that I launched my own cosmetic line this year as well as I've been helping several other clients of mine launch their own product line as well. So I've been crazy busy with that. And I've also had, I also needed to take a small mental break from myself in the beginning of this year. I got hit with a few haymakers with life and that's just how life is.
00:01:08
Speaker
And I needed to take some time to clear my head and get my mental space together. And so I just needed to take a break away from podcasting. So I am back.
Introducing New Guests and Content
00:01:21
Speaker
I will be bringing you fresh material every week. I have some amazing interviews lined up. I cannot wait to bring on my new guests.
00:01:29
Speaker
I also have a bunch of information that I want to share with you guys that I am so excited to announce throughout the podcast. So I just want to thank you guys for being patient with me and everybody that's emailed me rolled on my Instagram page that for you guys that know me personally that have
00:01:54
Speaker
encouraged me to get back on the mic and start recording again. I just want to say thank you so much for that. That means the world to me and to my new listeners. Welcome and thank you.
Granting Permission for Personal Growth
00:02:06
Speaker
This week, I want to jump into a topic that I actually journaled about yesterday. This is a topic, it's probably going to be a short podcast, but I wanted to talk about giving yourself permission.
00:02:20
Speaker
So what do I mean by giving yourself permission? I journaled yesterday a definition in my this is what I believe giving yourself permission to do means. So I said to give yourself permission means to allow yourself the freedom to feel and process any emotions and or to move forward in the pursuit of your goals and dreams and the healing of your mind body and soul.
00:02:46
Speaker
The reason why I was journaling about this was because I realized that I felt kind of like I should have started this business early and I had a bunch of ideas in my mind that I was like I should have did earlier on in my life.
00:03:02
Speaker
but the reason why I didn't do it is because I did not give myself permission to do what I felt that I was called to do. A lot of times I found myself boggled down with the opinions of others or what other people would think and so I denied myself the opportunity to trace after my dreams. I also thought about it in terms of me and my heart healing from some different wounds and I was like,
00:03:29
Speaker
Why are these wounds still lingering around? And it was because I never gave myself the permission to go back and process those emotions in a healthy way and really honestly free myself from the cage of experiences.
00:03:45
Speaker
So I allow my experiences to dictate to me what I could and could not do. And instead of giving myself permission to fail, permission to learn, permission to grow, I locked myself, I locked my potential in a cage because I was afraid of what other people might say or what other people might think.
Embracing Failure and Confidence
00:04:07
Speaker
if I took this risk and I failed. And that is something that we have to learn as individuals that we have to give ourselves permission to try to succeed, to fail, to learn, to grow. And I had to learn that through hard times is that it's okay to make a mistake. It's okay to fall short, but give yourself permission to learn from those mistakes and
00:04:35
Speaker
Know that everybody does not get it right the first time around. It's okay that you made a mistake and that you didn't get it right the first time around. There are so many successful people that talk about how they had to try and try and try and try again.
00:04:53
Speaker
and even ask for help and collaborate with other people. And I think that we get hung up in the idea that if it's not right the first time around, then it won't be right at all. And that's not true. Sometimes you have to keep trying and trying and trying. So give yourself permission to go out there and take risks. And even if you get it wrong, still learn from that experience. So I wrote down a couple of reasons why, or a few reasons why we deny ourselves.
00:05:23
Speaker
And I have five that I wrote down. So one, I already talked about, we are afraid of what other people think, how people will respond to us taking a step out and leaping out in faith and trying
00:05:39
Speaker
How would people respond to you going to get therapy, or how would people respond to you starting that company, or how would people respond to you going back to get that degree? Well, the thing is that people are going to have opinions. We all are very opinionated in our own right.
00:05:57
Speaker
But you have to be so solidified in what you're called to do that despite what other people say, that you're going to go after what you're called to do.
Dangers of Comparison
00:06:07
Speaker
So you have to focus your energy on what it is that you're setting out to accomplish and not allow yourself to be denied because of the thoughts and opinions of others. Another topic that I hit on earlier in the podcast is false humility.
00:06:23
Speaker
We often, you know, because we don't want to seem prideful or arrogant when somebody gives us a compliment or when somebody says, oh, you're really good at this or whatever, we will be like, oh, somebody else is better than better than me in this situation or so and so can do it better than me.
00:06:41
Speaker
That's false humility. You have to be okay with knowing that you're good at something. If you can fry chicken really well and you know you can fry chicken better than everybody on your block, it's okay to know that you're good at frying chicken.
00:06:56
Speaker
It does not take away from anybody else and it doesn't add to you by saying that somebody else is better than you are. So we have to learn how to stop operating in false humility and denying ourselves the right to be our best selves.
00:07:13
Speaker
Another reason why we deny ourselves is because we lack confidence and this is kind of like lacking confidence can come from a couple things. Maybe nobody has ever pet us on the back and told us job well done or we just may not know that we're good at something that we or we might feel shy or intimidated by the competition out there.
00:07:34
Speaker
But you have to step your confidence level up if you're ever going to be successful in whatever it is that you want to be successful in or if you're ever going to hit the mark. You have to believe in yourself before the world does. You have to believe that you can write that book. You have to believe that you can finish that degree. You have to believe in yourself.
00:07:58
Speaker
in order for you to accomplish the goal that you set out to accomplish. The next reason why we deny ourselves is because of comparison. We deny ourselves because we're comparing ourselves now. I know it's very easy to do it with social media because social media makes it very easy to see someone else's highlight reel.
Overcoming Fear and Past Traumas
00:08:18
Speaker
So we automatically assume that we'll never be able to catch up with this person, or we'll never be able to do what somebody else is doing, or we're comparing ourselves to, oh this person looks like this, or this person talks like that, or this person has this many views, or that person has this many likes, or whatever.
00:08:35
Speaker
and we can just compare and compare and compare and then we deny ourselves the ability to even step out and try because we're constantly looking at what somebody else is doing. You have to focus on you. You have to focus on what you're set out to do, what you are set out to accomplish because you have to keep in mind that social media is highlight reels and people are only going to tell you what they want you to know.
00:09:02
Speaker
So you may think that you're struggling and you're just struggling by yourself but you don't know what that person is going through and you certainly don't know what that person had to go through to get to where they are. So stop comparing yourselves because when you do that you deny yourself the right to go after your dreams. The next thing and the final thing that I have written down is simply good old plain old fear. Everybody is dealing with some kind of form of fear. Oh I'm afraid of what people think.
00:09:31
Speaker
Oh, I'm afraid I'm not going to be good at this. This has kind of been the central theme of this podcast is like giving yourself the permission to break away from fear. Basically, there are going to be times where you're going to be up and there are going to be times where you're down, but you don't have to be afraid of what comes with you taking territory over your life. Like if you're afraid that healing is going to offend somebody, you'll always be broken.
00:09:58
Speaker
If you are afraid that getting out of debt is going to make everybody mad at you, then you'll always be broke. You have to make the decision to step out of the realm of fear and go after what you want to accomplish.
00:10:14
Speaker
And so I wrote down a few reasons or wrote down a few things that you should give yourself permission to do. First of all, you need to give yourself permission to go after your goals. Whatever that is, whatever that looks like for you, give yourself permission to do it.
00:10:30
Speaker
You need to give yourself permission to heal. If you lived in life, you have went through something traumatizing, whether you think so or not, you've been through something. You need to give yourself permission to heal. Even if that means taking some time to yourself, if that means getting some therapy, if that means talking it out with your friends, crying it out, journaling it out, you need to give yourself permission to heal.
Permission to Succeed and Be Vulnerable
00:11:00
Speaker
You need to give yourself permission to let go. Whatever it is in the past, whatever happened with that old friend, whatever happened with that old lover, whatever happened at that old job, you need to let it go. Give yourself permission to forgive, to forget, and to let go. Give yourself permission to make mistakes. Mistakes are inevitable. You're going to make mistakes no matter what happens.
00:11:30
Speaker
You can be crazy, uberly successful and still make mistakes, but I will rather fail my way through something. I will rather fail to success than to not try at all. Give yourself the opportunity to make mistakes and learn. Give yourself the opportunity. Give yourself permission to be vulnerable.
00:11:52
Speaker
We don't understand the power in saying I don't know I don't have the answer to that or acting for help or just opening up yourself You never know now I'm not saying go and open your heart to any and everybody that comes your way But what I am saying is that there is power and vulnerability So find some people that you can trust to be vulnerable with and open yourself up
00:12:17
Speaker
Give yourself permission to believe in yourself. You are worth the fight. You are worth the energy. You are worth the time. You are worth the investment. Give yourself permission to believe in you. I don't care how long you have to stay up at night.
00:12:40
Speaker
I don't care how long it takes you to get whatever you need to get, believe in yourself. You are worth it. Also, last but not least, believe, give yourself permission to be the best. Stop short changing yourself and stop holding back your excellence. Stop holding back your beauty. Stop holding back your poise because you're afraid of what other people might think or what they might say about you because of who you are.
00:13:10
Speaker
Stop letting the opinions of others shortchange you. You have to get out there and believe in yourself and be your best self.
Living Your Best Life and Listener Engagement
00:13:21
Speaker
We all have this saying, I'm just living my best life, right? But how can you live your best life if you're not being your best self, if you're denying yourself
00:13:31
Speaker
the right to be your best self. You have to get out there and try and you have to get out there and fail. You have to get out there and succeed. So give yourself permission to be the best you. So I hope you guys enjoyed this podcast.
00:13:49
Speaker
I am back. I will be back every Wednesday and like I said in the beginning of the podcast I have so many cool things in store for you guys. If you have any questions, if you want me to explain or elaborate on a point
00:14:04
Speaker
that I mentioned in this podcast, you can always email me at alienanitashow at gmail.com. I will link it in the show descriptions. So if you wanna follow me on social media, any social media platform, I am alienanita on all of the things. So be sure to follow me, be sure to like stuff, be sure to leave comments. If there's anything that you want me to discuss,
00:14:34
Speaker
topic or if you want me to host an interview with somebody on a specific topic email me let me know I'm always open for topic interest and whatever you guys want to hear because I am here for you so anyway I love you guys thank you so much for tuning in and as always stay blessed and be relevant
00:15:09
Speaker
Thank you.