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110 — Squidiculous
124 Plays4 years ago
The Think Fresh boys venture into new audio territory as co-host Ty test-drives a new microphone. They also discuss the differences between chicken and turkey subs, ordering 'breasts' vs 'butts' at Subway, being an ass-man, whether the mercury levels in the tuna sub are FDA-approved, Squid (medley) Games, and gambling on other patron's sandwich orders.
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Transcript
Introduction to the Think Fresh Podcast
00:00:09
Speaker
Hello, hello. Five, four, three, two, one. Welcome to Think Fresh Podcast. This is your host, Ty and Eric. Welcome to the show. We're gonna be playing the best mix of smooth jazz, R&B, and the latest in hip hop today. Yup, this is the hottest station on the net. How are you doing today, Eric? Wow, Ty, you sound like a real fucking radio host.
00:00:38
Speaker
Yep, I'm working with some new technology today, Eric. I'm prototyping, test driving, if you will, the Tesla of microphones. I just had an intern drop it off at my desk, and I'm just playing around with it. You can hear everything. How do I sound? I hate that you're doing this so much. I hate this. This is my 4K voice. I've thrown my AirPod 1s in the garbage can. They're sitting amongst some green and yellow paper.
00:01:05
Speaker
I got some sauce on my ear pods, but this is amazing.
Microphone Test and Tech Talk
00:01:10
Speaker
You can hear everything. Listen to this. Okay. Here's some sound effects for you, Eric. You ready? First sip from the drink machine. First bite of a sandwich.
00:01:29
Speaker
third bite of a sandwich and finally the post foot long groan oh my god there do you feel like you're at subway with me 4k yeah where's the uh where's the signature Thai finger licking though
00:01:49
Speaker
There you go. There you go. There you have it. Bread heads. Feels like you're, this is the closest most people on this podcast will get to enjoying a foot long with host tie. The closest you'll ever get to being in Ty's mouth.
00:02:04
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. So I don't know if I'm going to keep this thing. It just, this is a test drive. I don't like the idea of this phallic instrument being on my desk, especially not full time. So we may have to, it's about six inch, it's about a six inch sized like microphone. It's ginormous. Okay. So it's, you know, just enough for big, big TUI to handle. Am I right?
00:02:29
Speaker
Yeah, it's Thai sized. There you go. What is this? So why does it look like an Airstream though? This does look like an Airstream. Or is it like a gay R2D2? I think it looks like a robot burrito. Or like a space flute.
00:02:56
Speaker
What did Peter Griffin say? He's like, why would I look like a roll up penises? Something like that. I feel like I'm Joe Rogan right now though, with this big ass husk next to me, this husk of metal corn. I feel like I'm in a real booth. Yeah. You have moved your, you've relocated to Austin, Texas based on your zoom background right now. You are, you have read down the studio with some silver microphones.
00:03:26
Speaker
Yeah, I'm about to go off on you like DMT Joe. DMT Joe, I'm happy for you, Ty. Thank you. I'm a little bit shook though that it took us 110 episodes to get to this point where we've upgraded one of our mics. Yeah, I don't know. What are we doing with the funds in the anchor bank account?
00:03:50
Speaker
Well, this is, I think, a gift. This mic is a gift from Spotify. They said, enough of that bullshit. You guys are a popular enough podcast that you deserve some normal podcasting equipment. But I think the funds from the podcast and from our ads, we should probably turn it into meals. I think we got quite a few inches in the bank right now. We have some inches in our pockets right now that are ready to be used.
00:04:19
Speaker
Oh yeah, a few inches in the pants. Yeah, exactly. So, Kai, what do we do about my situation then? Obviously, you know, I had the AirPod Pros. You knew that great more than I did. But what do we do now?
00:04:36
Speaker
Well, I don't know. I feel like if we proceed with the existing infrastructure, the breadheads are going to very quickly develop a favorite host and it will probably be the one with the 4K breath. Really? Well, I'm thinking it's probably going to be the one with the
00:04:57
Speaker
Um, authentic, you know, more intimate voice, the one who is in their ear late at night on the phone. Uh, we are on FaceTime audio. You're talking about your day. I'm telling you the dinner I had, um, you know, we're making some plans for the weekend, et cetera. Right. Certified podcast boy era coming in your ears with that pillow talk. Exactly. Um,
00:05:24
Speaker
But yeah, Ty, I don't know. We have to proofread this episode and make a call based on that.
Feedback and Social Media Strategy
00:05:30
Speaker
Yep. This might not even make the cut. Who knows? Maybe the credit heads will let us know what they think in the comments. DM us if you like this new sound or if this is destroying the low five vibes that you previously loved about the fresh podcast. Let us know. We'll adjust. We're not resistant to feedback. Yeah. We're not like Subway who, you know,
00:05:54
Speaker
blocks their fans on Twitter and doesn't, uh, you know, listen to any kind of feedback, especially when it pertains to the menu. Yeah. They're not a very democratic place on, despite their democratic sandwich making process. Yeah, absolutely. I guess they got to compensate in other ways. Pretty strict. Yeah. I wonder what their stances on abortion laws.
00:06:19
Speaker
Yeah, well, why don't we just DM them and ask them? I'm sure the intern working the social media account wouldn't be afraid to let it spray a little bit. Yeah, exactly. I mean, we already know how they feel about aborting sandwiches. Yeah, I feel like they're probably based on what I've seen with their respect for Blue Lives Matter, for gun laws, for most other things.
00:06:47
Speaker
I think I know where they stand, but I'll let them come out and say it. Yeah, exactly. Ty, what's going on in the
Thanksgiving and Turkey Talk
00:06:56
Speaker
world of subway? Anything new for you? How was your weekends? What'd you do? The old weekend banter. Well, Eric.
00:07:05
Speaker
Uh, I have some friends that don't let go of Thanksgiving very easily. And they insisted that I eat, continue to have Thanksgiving dinner, even a week after the holiday. Oh, so even after you polish off your leftovers, the gravy with the vegetarian gravy, that's already been curled up into a solid. Yeah. You finished all of that.
00:07:32
Speaker
You've wiped down your plates and now you're being pulled back out of retirement for more. That's right. I've been, uh, they phoned me up. They've shown the bat saying, well, I said, get back in there, King. We need some help eating up these sides. Yeah. These Brussels sprouts need you. So I, uh, I did the whole thing, the whole nine yards, the stuffing, the yams. I, uh,
00:07:55
Speaker
And that was my weekend. It was Thanksgiving, infinite Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving forever, y'all. You ran it back. I like to hear it. It's the sequel no one asked for. How about you? Was the meal different at all? Were these different friends or are they some psychopaths that just wanted to run it back with you?
00:08:17
Speaker
Yo, thankfully these are different friends. I can't imagine being friends with anybody who insists on having the same meal two weekends around with the same people. Wow. Yeah. That's like, yeah, there's something wrong with eating turkey, like a turkey dinner after Thanksgiving. Save that shit till Christmas. Yeah. Save it till Christmas bro. Take a break. Let the turkeys, uh,
00:08:46
Speaker
Like the turkey population will decline too quickly if we have this every weekend. And then what will we have on the classics menu? We'll have to kill the turkey breast. I wonder if... Oh, we both have a good question. Would you like to ask yours first? Yes. What do we do with turkeys throughout the year? Like, obviously there's a huge turkey holocaust right in the beginning of October.
00:09:15
Speaker
where the turkeys are chopped up, you know, they're sent to Whole Foods, they're vacuum sealed, they're ready to be popped in the oven, you know, just like the way grandma used to make it. But, and I don't know, do we just breed chickens in like, like nine months ago? Like do we just say like, okay, like in March, we're gonna like just breed chickens and turkeys and, you know,
00:09:44
Speaker
Yeah, I would think we're about to enter the busiest season for turkey breeders nationwide because they got to start populating the world with fresh baby turkeys so they may grow big and plump for this time next season. But it is weird, like it's a mass genocide in one month and then the cycle begins again.
00:10:05
Speaker
I wonder if like during October like a restaurant chain like Subway who offers a cold cut selection of turkey breast or even like the classic cold cut has turkey in it. Perhaps there's other sandwiches. I wonder if they struggle to fulfill orders during this time. Like if you're a turkey lover and maybe you're a lonely man and the turkey breast footlong is the only turkey dinner you're getting because your family has
00:10:34
Speaker
Abandon you and you never really made any friends Certainly no lover. So you you go to Subway for your turkey dinner you get the turkey breast Do you think it's available or do you think they have some supply chain issues not unlike most businesses right now Yeah, that's what I'm struggling with and I'm starting to think that turkeys and chickens are actually the same animal and
00:11:02
Speaker
but chickens are smaller because they cut their life in half. Do they just let a select few chickens grow larger and then those are turkeys? Dude, chickens and turkeys are different species. No, they're the same. They're not the same species. They're different birds. It's like saying that like a golden retriever, I guess that dogs are the same species. Shit. They're the same thing, bro.
00:11:33
Speaker
It's like this one has, this is the same bird, just one has a gigantism. They supersized one. Exactly. They said, let me get the XL. No, this is, this is not the case. No, bro. It's like, it's like saying a butterfly and a spider are the same thing because they're both insects. No. Yeah. The chickens and turkeys are both just birds. That's the only thing they have in common.
00:12:01
Speaker
One is, they're literally the same animal except one's bigger. Puck them the chicken is the premium sandwich option at Subway. That doesn't make any sense. There's more chickens on earth than literally any other living thing. Yet they charge a premium when you walk through the doors of Subway. But a turkey, like an animal that is facing extinction every October. Yeah, classic menu, bizarre, doesn't make any sense.
00:12:30
Speaker
It is bizarre. Um, does it have to do with the form in which it is taking like chicken, like the chicken bacon ranch, for example, is like chopped up, like nice thick cut chicken. You know what I mean? It's like a chicken breast. Like you can tell what it is. Whereas like Turkey at subway or.
00:12:51
Speaker
any slice of meat in that case is just like processed like it comes in like a ball and it's just like yeah it is I mean they do specify that it is the turkey breast that you are consuming but but both the chicken breast and the turkey breast like one that's a lot of boobies and two
00:13:12
Speaker
Do you even know if it's the breast? There's no way to assess that. You just have to trust the franchise that they are serving you breast. You are eating breast. You have to trust that Subway brought you the breast.
00:13:28
Speaker
Yeah, I know. Can you imagine the tragedy that if you were a breast guy being served ass? Yeah. You're like, I'm a leg guy. And you're, man, it's a real risk, isn't it? So why isn't like,
00:13:45
Speaker
Why isn't the BMT cheaper? Why isn't it much cheaper? Because we know it's not a pig breast. It's just like the odds and ends, you know, blended together and made into like a tube. It doesn't make any sense because what you're basically saying is dealer's choice. Just give me any part of the animal you want. All I want are these specific animals. Yeah. I want you to kill the whole farm for this one sandwich.
00:14:14
Speaker
I want a little bit of pig, a little bit of cow, a little bit of chicken. One sandwich, got whole farm. Three animals die for one sandwich, but I don't care what part of the animal you feed me.
00:14:26
Speaker
It's the best way for us humans to assert dominance over a species. Eat them all at once. Yeah, we can really flex our position at the top of the food chain by getting the mixed meat, the, you know, the BMT. So
Food Debate: Meat Type vs. Cut
00:14:44
Speaker
let me ask you this, Eric, as a meat lover,
00:14:49
Speaker
Someone who just loves putting meat in your mouth. Do you care more about the type of animal that in which you consume or do you care more about the particular cut of the animal? Like you're a breast or an ask man. So are you like, are you like, I will only eat the breast. Doesn't matter if it's a piglet or a lamb or a little.
00:15:13
Speaker
little chicken pie or you are like, uh, I'm a, I'm a Turkey daddy. I'm a, I'm a, I'm a cow guy. Well, Ty, let me put this in a way that, uh, you, another married man might understand doesn't matter. You know,
00:15:31
Speaker
what part you're getting, but when you're in love with one person, you just want all of that. So what is your meat of choice then? What farm animal do you want to make love to? I want whatever the salami is.
00:15:51
Speaker
Give me some of that. Damn. You picked the most anonymous of the meats. I don't know where salami comes from. I have no idea. It could come from a dinosaur or a, I don't know, shark. Who knows? That is true. The seafood medley might have some shark in it. Yeah. Could I get a foot long BMT and some shark in soup, please? Start another pandemic.
00:16:19
Speaker
You never know, the salami is probably the most likely to carry a novel virus with it. That is very true. I was going to say maybe the tuna. Like, can you get mercury poisoning from the tuna subway if it's not tuna? Hmm, I almost guarantee it, Eric. I'm so skeptical of mercury and like,
00:16:39
Speaker
sustainably caught ocean wise seafood. So you better believe that the subway tuna fish is just, it's rich with mercury. So if you need mercury in your diet, I would recommend this place, but. Is there any like potential health benefit to mercury? Like, you know, does it mean boost your iron or something? It might help you develop a superpower. Yeah.
00:17:09
Speaker
I'd be able to digest literally anything. Yeah. If you have a like below average number of arms and you want to grow a new arm, perhaps this is the place to dine. Yeah. Give me some of that mercury sashimi. Wow. The tuna fish there is kind of like sashimi, isn't it? The way it's served. Cold and wet.
00:17:35
Speaker
Now, Eric, earlier in this episode, you asked me what we would do with our anchor bags, the money we've made from the many advertisements we show to the listeners of Think Fresh podcast.
Subway Order Betting Game
00:17:52
Speaker
And I was watching the Squid Game, the Seafood Medley game on the Netflix. Yes. I wish I'm assuming you have also participated in.
00:18:04
Speaker
in the watching of not the games themselves. Sad to say, but I have watched it. Right. So in that show, everyone or what part of the premises of the show is obviously to like, people are gambling a little bit with the money that they have and gambling on horse racing and whatever. And they're trying to predict the outcome of things. It's a theme. And I thought about that. And I thought about like,
00:18:31
Speaker
there's this whole world of subway, which is like about betting on the predictive outcome of a sandwich. And it would be really cool if you could go to a place or play online and there's just like, you just tap into the security cams of a franchise and you place bets on what people are going to order when they walk through the door. I love this. Mm-hmm.
00:18:56
Speaker
So based on, you know, certain characteristics, like the person's outfit, you know, maybe their height, you know, what they're, what they're wearing on their head. Do they have a hat? Do they have like a back haircut? Or do they have what's on their feet? You know, are they with somebody? Who are they with? What's the outfit of the person they're with?
00:19:18
Speaker
Um, the person, the partner's haircut, the, um, you know, did they open a door for their partner? Um, what car did they pull up in? Did they, you know, parking in the reverse? Did they park forward? Park across the street? Um, what time of day did they come in? You know, um, did they maybe place an order online first? Did they use any points with their order? Um, did they potentially, um, you know,
00:19:48
Speaker
can't get to go. There's so many things. There's just so many ways to do this. I think what you've hit the nail on the head, there's many variables here, Eric, and you could assess all of them. Thank you for that definitive list. I'm sure the breadheads appreciated that. Most of them probably dropped off halfway through, but for the ones that are still listening,
00:20:12
Speaker
there's a lot of potential this idea you don't have to base it just off of the patron you could also like there might be different odds on different ingredients like the odds of them ordering guac is probably a lot lower than the odds of them ordering lettuce so but you're actually like you can kind of hedge your bet a little bit like put a little bit on like a low odds um ingredient a lot more money on something that's more likely but then the payout wouldn't be as high
00:20:43
Speaker
I love this. You sound like a real shark. And then of course, like, once again, another great idea that we're just putting on a piece of paper, wrapping it up and handing to big way because the house can take a cut if Subway sponsors this gambling initiative. They can take a house cut.
00:21:04
Speaker
It's probably going to perform better than the house sauce or the subway melt. That's true. Hello, sharks. Here is my business idea. We're looking for free sandwiches for life.
00:21:19
Speaker
Yeah. One, 1%. You know, Mark Cubano is going to be all over this, but you got to be able to put crypto down and I'll say, hell yeah. I'll, uh, I'll stake my Ethereum token to that. I'll stake and choose my Ethereum. I'm staking, cheesing my crypto. I love that. That's awesome. I am, uh, I'm fully bought into this idea and,
00:21:46
Speaker
I, you know, you don't know it, but I place bets on you all the time when we eat together. I'm like, what is this guy going to order today? I don't know. Yeah. Well, wouldn't you like to put some money where your mouth is or sorry, money where my mouth is? I mean, I like to put something else in my mouth that costs money, a subway sandwich. And that's it. Nothing else. Just a subway sandwich. That's it guys.
00:22:13
Speaker
Yeah, that's it. Or maybe one of these space microphones. You want to pull one of these near your mouth, Eric? This miniature Airstream that's near Ty's mouth.
00:22:26
Speaker
right now is something that I would not like near my mouth. It's far less aromatic than a six inch, but I like it just the same. I mean, I'm sure it is now after all of that breath that's been thrown at its way. Yeah. I feel like I need to, if I'm going to use this full time, I'm going to have to install a sneeze guard.
00:22:46
Speaker
Keep my spit off the mic. Sometimes when we get heated on this pot, I let it spray a little. Yeah, yeah. Take an inch from Subway's books and toss some glass in between. Yeah, I think that's the move here. Absolutely squiddiculous. Squiddiculous.
00:23:07
Speaker
All right, King, this has been a fantastic episode with
Conclusion and Social Media Plug
00:23:10
Speaker
you. I've enjoyed linking and building once again. Always. For the breadheads that are new, you can follow us on ThinkFresh podcast, Instagram, Twitter. We also have an OnlyFans. You can find us there as well. For the breadheads that are support the pod, help us level up the tech across both our hosts. We refuse to spend our own money on this.
00:23:35
Speaker
That's a fact. If you are a long time listener of Think Fresh podcast, we thank you for joining us again today and for all future episodes. You're the reason we do this. You're the reason we're here. Actually, that's not true at all. We do this because we like it. It's more of an ego thing for us, but thank you for tuning in either way, everybody. We are multi-hyphenate creatives and this is just the other output for Ty and Eric. So see you next episode, Bretties.
00:24:04
Speaker
Ciao.