Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
469 — TurHamKen™️
52 Plays27 days ago
Ty & Eric discuss Dick Cheney’s open-faced casket, Subway’s lab-born baby, toasting your sandwich from both ends, the embarrassment of having a boyfriend in 2025, transitioning from hunter to hunted, novelty holiday meats, the most efficient way to swallow a hamburger, the masculine urge to become an incel, prowling the streets after dark, and Joey Chestnut’s consumption-as-a-service model.
If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/thinkfresh for a discount on your first month of therapy.
-
Buy Our Official Crypto Coin:
https://pump.fun/coin/6G8WEYrH7UpMw1V7UQC8Hsh38w1CfPoXurY2csyWpump
10% Off Think Fresh Merchandise:
30% Off Zencastr Pro:
Follow Us on Instagram:
Recommended
Transcript
Reminiscing About Movies and Political Humor
00:00:50
Think Fresh
Greetings slime.
00:00:52
Ty Fresh
slopp ah what's up Eric what's up redheads Ty and Eric back in the booth wow so what
00:00:56
Think Fresh
My slippery slime.
00:01:00
Think Fresh
That's right, baby. Ty, your tan is holding up really nicely after Italy, I must say. it's We're deep in the depths of mud season and you've got some nice color going on still.
00:01:11
Think Fresh
Pretty jealous.
00:01:11
Ty Fresh
thank you thank you I appreciate that observation i know I've had no no D no vitamin D whatsoever for a month but I think I'm just like permanently toasted at this point.
00:01:23
Think Fresh
Mm-hmm. Bros had no Dee and no Chaney, unfortunately. Yeah, we're permanently toasted.
00:01:28
Ty Fresh
Oh yeah. He, yeah. D Cheney is also permanently toasted. Hey, RIP to a real one.
00:01:39
Think Fresh
We, um this isn't, okay, we've linked since our last episode, and when we did, we watched a movie about open caskets. do you remember that? I barely remember, but it was a theme.
00:01:53
Ty Fresh
Yeah, we watched some, I don't know, would you call it even a horror movie? I don't know. scary. And there's so many open caskets in it. And open caskets only happen in movies.
00:02:06
Ty Fresh
I've never been to one. Have you?
00:02:08
Think Fresh
I've never been to an open casket funeral. I've never even seen a embalmed body. The closest thing to an embalmed body, i would say, is a Subway sandwich wrapped in saran wrap.
00:02:22
Think Fresh
That would be the closest thing I've ever seen to a preserved dead thing. um
00:02:28
Ty Fresh
Right. Or like Madame Tussauds.
00:02:31
Think Fresh
Yeah, true. church True, true, true.
00:02:33
Ty Fresh
But yeah, kind of disturbing.
00:02:35
Think Fresh
Yeah. Anyways, what were you going to say?
00:02:36
Ty Fresh
I was just going to say like, yeah, I don't think I would want to either like to walk into a funeral home, which is already a like just like terrible vibes. And then to be like, oh, yeah, the like,
00:02:51
Ty Fresh
ah so what do you say? Who we're celebrating? Remember? I don't know It's like open faced. It's kind of crazy to be like, oh, they did it open faced.
00:03:02
Think Fresh
Yeah, it's not birthday boy. It's like death day boy, you know? Mm-hmm.
00:03:06
Ty Fresh
Death Day boy. Yeah, yeah. It's a different vibe. So do you think Dick Cheney's funeral was open faced?
00:03:13
Think Fresh
um i don't know i don't know what state that guy was in in the last decade so um it's hard to say but you know what i keep thinking about keep thinking about how um last year we saw the decline of joe biden happening in real time and uh I was thinking about like usually that happens like very rapidly with old old blokes and like has anyone checked up on this guy like is he alive are they hiding his death because they were like too embarrassed to admit that he wouldn't have made it a year into his term you know.
00:03:40
Ty Fresh
Mm-hmm.
00:03:54
Ty Fresh
Yeah, dude. Every time there's a picture of Joe Biden leaving his house now, he's got aviator sunglasses on and two large men on either side carrying his body like week it's weekend at Biden's baby.
00:04:08
Think Fresh
Yeah, dude, 100%. And he's never, for some reason, he's never holding a newspaper with today's date on it. It's just not happening. So we can't fact check it.
00:04:17
Ty Fresh
We're cluing in though. The world's catching on. This guy is
00:04:21
Think Fresh
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
00:04:23
Ty Fresh
Yeah, he's with Chaney now.
00:04:28
Think Fresh
Yeah, dick in hand. um
00:04:32
Ty Fresh
Crazy.
00:04:33
Think Fresh
um Ty, we
Speculating on Subway's New Creations
00:04:35
Think Fresh
had... um This is a crazy podcast because we're talking about the cycle of life here, but we've had a ah new birth at Subway.
00:04:44
Think Fresh
And Subway themselves have teased it on the gram. I'm not sure what to really think of it, but it looks like... Well, okay, I'll just read the post.
00:04:54
Think Fresh
Subway Proper with ah Blue Check says, Dear friends and family, you are fully invited to the naming of our newest creation. Once just the bun in the oven, our little one came out to measuring 12 inches.
00:05:08
Think Fresh
We are excited for you to meet our perfectly chubby footlong. And then there's a photo of a sandwich wrapped in a like cheesecloth.
00:05:20
Think Fresh
Any idea what this could be? Why are they giving birth to a sandwich? It looks it just looks like a BMT.
00:05:25
Ty Fresh
Dude, this is so wild. Subway Instagram's crazy for this. I don't know what they're thinking. I'm trying to like get into the comment section right now with the ThinkFresh account so I can comment, welcome back Dick Cheney.
00:05:40
Ty Fresh
what
00:05:40
Think Fresh
The rebirth.
00:05:42
Ty Fresh
The Rebirth. ah Yeah, Subway Baby. Now, this is interesting. yeah This is just interesting for a few reasons, Eric. One is that this has been a popular Halloween costume for newborns for like decades to like wrap your baby.
00:05:59
Ty Fresh
in a sandwich wrapper from the way and call it a float long.
00:06:03
Think Fresh
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, classic Halloween costume.
00:06:07
Ty Fresh
so It is a classic one, but this seems to be something different. This isn't actually a baby they're birthing. Maybe they're birthing like, oh my God, you know what it probably is, Eric? Because it feels like they're foreshadowing a product launch here, like a new sandwich or something, right?
00:06:23
Think Fresh
Mm-hmm.
00:06:24
Ty Fresh
i don't think that's what it is. I think they finally are like figured out how to like make a new type of meat.
00:06:33
Think Fresh
Okay, so you're telling Subway is engineering meats now and they are like 3D printing some nuggets perhaps.
00:06:44
Think Fresh
They're mixing some pink goop together and hardening that into a kind of ham-like substance, a pink disc of sorts. What do you think is going on here?
00:06:55
Ty Fresh
ah Yeah, it's not like so they've been dabbling in bioengineered proteins for a long time, as we know.
00:07:02
Ty Fresh
um And I'm just like Sherlocking things together right now because I'm scrolling to the top of the Subway account on Instagram and I see the word Terhamkin.
00:07:02
Think Fresh
Mm-hmm.
00:07:15
Ty Fresh
So is it possible Subway has and don't there's no context. It just says Terhamkin and it's trademarked. What if they like do what if they've like. Frankenstein together, they in Subway Labs, they fused together the DNA structure of all of the meats to make one super meat.
00:07:35
Ty Fresh
And they're about to birth it
00:07:35
Think Fresh
um okay okay this is interesting um yeah the holidays are coming up you know people are cooking up turkeys at home your family is probably doing like a big circular spherical tofu ball
00:07:52
Ty Fresh
Thank you.
00:07:55
Ty Fresh
one giant butternut squash.
00:07:55
Think Fresh
um
00:07:57
Think Fresh
totally um but the another one is the um turducken tie you've heard of this haven't you
00:08:06
Ty Fresh
Yes, I'm familiar with turducken culture. I think it's like absurd and doesn't, it takes up too much like space in the cultural sphere for what it is.
00:08:17
Ty Fresh
It's just like this dumb nerdy thing that meat lovers embrace.
00:08:18
Think Fresh
mm-hmm
00:08:21
Ty Fresh
And for some reason, everyone knows what it is.
00:08:24
Think Fresh
I don't know if I want to like claim that community as part of the meat lovers community, because I'm a very passionate, um, spokesperson for the meat lovers, but I would.
00:08:33
Ty Fresh
Well, you're a purest meat lover. You're just like pepperoni. you know You're a pepperoni man.
00:08:38
Think Fresh
Yeah. Chicken.
00:08:41
Ty Fresh
Mm-hmm.
00:08:41
Think Fresh
um No, but I think like there's like a weird subculture of meat eaters who are, i think it's like a derivative of epic mealtime. Like it's just whenever they introduced the like over baconification of food, like bacon wrapped everything, layers and layers of bacon.
00:08:59
Ty Fresh
Mm-hmm.
00:09:03
Think Fresh
How many like different types of meat can we fuse and hold hands in the oven together i don't think it makes any sense i I don't know why they would try to create like a new genre of like Frankenstein-y meats together it does just simply doesn't need to exist and this is clearly one of those attempts
00:09:24
Ty Fresh
Yeah, but like if you could pull it off, you'd have such a niche in the market because you can go to any fast food restaurant, have beef or have chicken, Eric, or maybe some have ham. But if only Subway has the Terhamkin, that's like groundbreaking.
00:09:44
Think Fresh
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
00:09:46
Ty Fresh
Could be good for business. I mean, like i but I agree, though, like it's this it it needs to stop like.
00:09:53
Think Fresh
It needs to stop.
00:09:53
Ty Fresh
There's
00:09:55
Think Fresh
Dude.
Holiday Indulgence and Quirky Meats
00:09:56
Think Fresh
Okay. Let's just break it down. Turkey, ham, and chicken. I can only assume those are the three animals that are present here. um Turkey and chicken are like 99% the same DNA.
00:10:12
Think Fresh
So there's no added value of including a turkey there. Turkey is only for like the aesthetics of Thanksgiving, you know?
00:10:15
Ty Fresh
Yeah.
00:10:21
Ty Fresh
Not impressed.
00:10:22
Think Fresh
It's reason why it exists.
00:10:22
Ty Fresh
Like...
00:10:23
Think Fresh
Yeah. So then we got ham. Ham is like what the alternative Thanksgiving crowd goes for. they're like we We're not a turkey household. We go with ham.
00:10:33
Ty Fresh
Mm-hmm.
00:10:34
Think Fresh
Maybe there's some Bavarian roots there, but why i have three? you know It could just be the Terham.
00:10:45
Ty Fresh
Cause I guess just like have two is not that impressive. You know, it it's just like Turkey ham, you can do that through like an act of layering, you know, um it's accessible to most households, but as soon as you have like three different types of protein in something that the, it's just like, it's, a it's Americana at that point, you know, it's excess, it's, it's silly, it's obscene.
00:11:00
Think Fresh
Mm-hmm.
00:11:11
Think Fresh
Mm-hmm.
00:11:13
Think Fresh
It's why the hell not.
00:11:15
Ty Fresh
Exactly. And that's what, that's why we hate it.
00:11:17
Think Fresh
Um...
00:11:18
Ty Fresh
Cause the only people that would like, they're like that. I could imagine this, that even asked why or like, or like how should we, they didn't ask, should we, they just said, could we, you know?
00:11:31
Think Fresh
Mm-hmm.
00:11:31
Ty Fresh
And then they did.
00:11:33
Think Fresh
Somebody high up at Subway was like, better ask for forgiveness than permission, you know? They won't let us make a terhamkin. They simply won't.
00:11:41
Ty Fresh
Yeah. And I'm sure everyone felt the same, like the Dr. Frankenstein in subway HQ is like, I don't think my creation will cause harm to the world as they all do before they unleash their monster.
00:11:51
Think Fresh
Mm-hmm.
00:11:53
Think Fresh
Totally. We just got to get the big CEOs to go on Joe Rogan and warn us that the biggest threat for humankind is not AI. It's actually meats and fusing them together for the holidays simply for novelty purposes.
00:12:10
Ty Fresh
ah Well, I maybe I'm wrong. Maybe that's not what they're birthing, but that's clearly something that's hitting the menu at some point. And it's possible that this is just like not any bio technology. This is literally like a sandwich with three different types of meat in it.
00:12:28
Ty Fresh
I would be disappointed at that point.
00:12:32
Think Fresh
I mean i feel like that exists already like what is the cold cuts isn't it not just ham and fucking turkey slices like are they slicing it differently or something what's going on here
00:12:41
Ty Fresh
Yeah.
00:12:44
Ty Fresh
Maybe they're serving, maybe these are just warm cuts, dude. They just toasted pre-toasted them.
00:12:49
Think Fresh
yo it's just the warm cut
00:12:52
Ty Fresh
It's like cold night and it requires a warm warm cut.
00:12:55
Think Fresh
Totally. Wow, what a disappointment. um
00:12:59
Ty Fresh
I know. and Now that we're talking it through even more, I'm starting to realize that that is probably the situation we're in.
00:13:08
Think Fresh
It's simply a hot sandwich.
00:13:11
Ty Fresh
Yeah, nothing goes better with a hot sandwich than a cold beer, my friend.
00:13:16
Think Fresh
Oh, that is awesome.
00:13:20
Ty Fresh
Yeah, happy Friday.
00:13:22
Think Fresh
That sounds beautiful. Happy Friday, mate. Nothing like meeting a baby with beer on the breath, right?
00:13:34
Ty Fresh
Meat baby, that's what they're making at Subway, a meat baby.
00:13:38
Think Fresh
I'd love to see it. um There's also two more things on the menu here, which I don't understand the whole like information architecture that's happening here because they also a festive chicken and a festive turkey.
00:13:52
Think Fresh
But if we really want to get nitpicky, where's the festive ham?
00:13:54
Ty Fresh
I was just going to say, do they run out of word count in the Instagram bio?
00:13:55
Think Fresh
Did they forget that one?
00:14:01
Think Fresh
It's possible. Yeah, what's going on with that?
00:14:06
Ty Fresh
Well, you know why, Eric? It's because during the holidays, we become the little piggies because we're fattening ourselves up with all this slop.
00:14:18
Think Fresh
Mm hmm. That is a nice thing about the holidays, though. I mean, it's an excuse to just gorge every day on ah food that you would never eat any other time of the year.
00:14:31
Think Fresh
Like who's eating turkey, bro? Like, honestly, you you're never eating it.
00:14:36
Ty Fresh
I'm in like a weird state, though, Eric, where we're going into the holidays now. And that's like, obviously, like, eat a bunch of trash and like gain a few pounds and maybe like just do things that you have to lie to your doctor about.
00:14:52
Think Fresh
Mm-hmm.
00:14:52
Ty Fresh
And I'm like, I've been already.
00:14:53
Think Fresh
And your insurance.
00:14:55
Ty Fresh
yeah I've been already doing that for like two months.
00:15:00
Think Fresh
Mm-hmm.
00:15:00
Ty Fresh
Like I've been carb loading. I've been crushing beers. I've been like just making like the fattest creations this morning.
00:15:05
Think Fresh
Mm-hmm.
00:15:08
Ty Fresh
I like made it a delicious eggs Benedict and I just like put a bunch of brie on it. Like I just took a wheel of B brie, chopped it up, layered it in there. um I'm just like, I'm eating so fat right now.
00:15:22
Ty Fresh
I'm i fattening up for the winter, Eric. I don't think I can go another two months of this.
00:15:26
Think Fresh
Yeah.
00:15:30
Think Fresh
Yeah. I mean, you're on the right track. i think you've been practicing all year, actually, for this very moment. You've been working on your alcohol tolerance, ah you know, a la Halloween.
00:15:40
Think Fresh
And I'm still impressed he didn't throw up everywhere on Halloween. still have actually any night terrors from then.
00:15:45
Ty Fresh
I'm...
00:15:49
Ty Fresh
I can't believe you did, dude. they're they're You know what they're calling us right now? I'm Pookie and you're Pookie. That's what they're saying on the street. and Wallace and vomit.
00:15:56
Think Fresh
ah
00:15:57
Ty Fresh
That's our duo.
00:15:59
Think Fresh
Wow, you had that one cooked up. Just be happy that you're not having to hold my hair back. okay
00:16:05
Ty Fresh
Yeah, I guess there is a benefit to shaving your head is that you can handle the the Super Bowl yourself.
00:16:11
Think Fresh
the Totally.
00:16:13
Ty Fresh
One man show.
00:16:13
Think Fresh
Super bowl the porcelain ah throne, as they call it.
00:16:18
Ty Fresh
who
00:16:19
Think Fresh
Yeah, man. Oh, fuck. Even just thinking about that night, I get ah get shivers down my spine.
00:16:25
Ty Fresh
But you um reestablished a drinking routine since then, I'm sure.
00:16:30
Think Fresh
Oh, absolutely. The next day. You got to restart, you know?
00:16:34
Ty Fresh
Yeah, me too, dude.
00:16:34
Think Fresh
um
00:16:35
Ty Fresh
I think i had seven beers last night. Yeah.
00:16:39
Think Fresh
Yeah, I heard you had a night on the town last night. That was pretty fun.
00:16:42
Ty Fresh
Yeah, it was awesome.
00:16:43
Think Fresh
Yeah.
00:16:44
Ty Fresh
ben I've been hitting the town like every day this week because when, I don't know, when the sun sets so early, you just want to like get out on the prowl, you know?
Night Running and Human Vulnerability
00:16:54
Ty Fresh
You're like this, hey god I got to roam the streets like a raccoon.
00:16:54
Think Fresh
so
00:16:58
Think Fresh
totally as you age you know you want to uh stay young and being young means being outside when it's dark and luckily for us ty in november the sun sets at 4 30 so like right now it's fucking dark outside so like we can we can hop outside go for hit three or four pubs and then be home and in bed by nine it's pretty awesome mm-hmm
00:17:07
Ty Fresh
Mm-hmm.
00:17:13
Ty Fresh
Yeah.
00:17:20
Ty Fresh
It's the best part. Yeah, because like the old head in me wants to like light the diptyque candle, crack the spine of a a good book, you know,
00:17:33
Ty Fresh
like
00:17:34
Think Fresh
I wasn't sure where that was going. thought were going to crack the spine of an old thought or something.
00:17:41
Ty Fresh
you know, lower the lights, have a bath, but the, there, theres there is a youthfulness to just being like, it's pitch black out. It's 4 PM. I'm going to, I'm going to go have some fun. I'm going to go get into trouble.
00:17:55
Think Fresh
Totally. I agree. I've been doing some real midlife crisis type shit since we've last spoke to I've been going for run like four to five days a week.
00:18:10
Ty Fresh
Hmm.
00:18:11
Think Fresh
And because of the sunset, that means I'm running in pitch black darkness for like 45 minutes through the woods here in my current hometown.
00:18:23
Think Fresh
I'm running around with a headlamp. I'm going full ultra marathon dork mode with a headlamp and waving at the old dog walkers who are in the same position as me.
00:18:26
Ty Fresh
no
00:18:34
Ty Fresh
dude yeah that's some like dorky ad dad shit to do that like you're like one reflective vest away from just handing over your coolness badge
00:18:35
Think Fresh
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
00:18:47
Think Fresh
yeah totally i mean as rick owen said ty i'm gonna butcher this but there's nothing cooler than being in a hot body
00:18:55
Ty Fresh
That's fair. What I don't tell you is what you have to do to get there.
00:18:56
Think Fresh
um that's true you gotta go full dork mode full send and then yeah you might get there eventually but one thing they don't tell you when they uh hand you your badge gun and headlamp is when You're running in the darkness.
00:19:11
Think Fresh
You see a lot of eyes looking back at you, reflecting. And it's not a really comfortable thing to see when you're sprinting in the woods. And then sometimes it's directly in front of you and you're just like hoping that it's a dog and then you get up to it and it's like a nice golden retriever who's just like wagging its tail.
00:19:28
Think Fresh
Like, oh, God, thank thank God.
00:19:28
Ty Fresh
so lucky
00:19:30
Think Fresh
It's not a fucking animal that wants to rip my throat out.
00:19:33
Ty Fresh
yeah i the worst part about being du like being in that situation is even though you're like probably a good runner you're like humans are just like the slowest animal you know like i don't know a badger could probably like chase you down and bite your calf
00:19:47
Think Fresh
Yeah. Yeah. 100% dude. A beaver could nip at my heel.
00:19:56
Ty Fresh
Imagine being taken down by a beaver. It's totally, it's highly likely.
00:20:02
Think Fresh
Honestly, if you're in Olympic Village, you're in Vancouver, there's a resident beaver that lives in the swamp there. Real nasty little guy in the bayou. Do you know what I'm talking about?
00:20:13
Ty Fresh
Yeah, dude. And there's not enough lumber. Yeah, I do. And there's not enough lumber left in that corridor to satisfy that beaver's hunger. So, you know, he's coming for just like some meaty calves.
00:20:25
Think Fresh
Oh, 100%, dude. If you ever like can't get a permit to chop down some trees, then just unleash a wild beaver and then it'll do their job for you. Yeah, that place is absolutely barren.
00:20:35
Ty Fresh
Yeah, nature finds a way, as they say. Hmm.
00:20:39
Think Fresh
100% bro. um But yeah, like humans, like if I'm challenging a coyote to a half marathon distance, I might win. But the problem is they can catch me in like one second. So there's no, the distance at play here is not up to me. You know mean? I can't set the rules.
00:20:59
Think Fresh
The coyote is just in a hunter mode and it's going to track me down and, you know, take a bite out of my left cheek.
Impatience with Fast Food Service
00:21:07
Ty Fresh
Hey, do you think that's why whenever we go to Subway, we're always like annoyed with how slow the sandwich artist is is because we're in hunter mode. So everything's moving faster for us.
00:21:17
Think Fresh
Yes. Great analogy.
00:21:18
Ty Fresh
We're the coyotes. Just kind of clicked for me right there.
00:21:21
Think Fresh
We are the yeah we're the apex predators once we walk in there. like you know We're in charge. We are pointing at what we want and we're getting it.
00:21:32
Ty Fresh
Mm hmm.
00:21:33
Think Fresh
Lettuce.
00:21:33
Ty Fresh
I have this like adrenaline flowing through me. That's why I act with such a commanding energy.
00:21:39
Think Fresh
Totally. And when you're hungry, it's like There's a reason why we get lethargic after you eat, right? It's like I've fulfilled my task today of hunting down some food.
00:21:52
Think Fresh
But once you're like, once you're hungry and you're like looking for the next bite, oh, dude, it's, ah you know, anyone's game.
00:22:00
Ty Fresh
Mm hmm. Dude, we're always just looking for our next bite.
00:22:05
Ty Fresh
so yeah, that's life, man. Just one bite at a time.
00:22:05
Think Fresh
Mm-hmm.
00:22:11
Think Fresh
I 100% agree, bro. um Any other topics, bro? I have one question for you. Okay,
00:22:19
Ty Fresh
I had just had a random thought that came into my mind. So like, okay.
00:22:23
Think Fresh
please go first.
00:22:26
Ty Fresh
uh sometimes you're like eat your sandwich and then like you ever just like flip it and then start eating from the other side or do you always just go one end to the other like front and back
00:22:40
Think Fresh
I get where you're going with this, Ty. The sauce likes to pool at the bottom of the sandwich, right? Let's just, if we can agree on that, then we can answer the question.
00:22:47
Ty Fresh
mm-hmm mm-hmm
00:22:48
Think Fresh
um If I'm eating slowly and more sauce is ending up at the bottom of the sandwich, I will pull a burger and flip that thing around and start hitting it from the back.
00:23:02
Think Fresh
Yeah.
00:23:03
Ty Fresh
you give it the 180 I do it too and it's like kind of a freaky move to like do it prematurely to like to pre-bite if you will yeah um
00:23:08
Think Fresh
Yeah.
00:23:12
Think Fresh
Mm-hmm. Totally.
00:23:16
Think Fresh
It makes sense. Because, like, yeah, you got to you gotta to do some sauce management at that point. Like, the case is a lot easier to make for a burger because, like, the sauce would be sliding around, the patties inching over, your onion, you know, it's poking out the back.
00:23:21
Ty Fresh
mm-hmm
00:23:32
Think Fresh
You got to make sure that thing doesn't fall out.
00:23:33
Ty Fresh
Yeah, dude. Yeah, you got like the tomato slices like so far out. It's like tickling your palm. You know, you could feel like the tomato rubbing against your hand.
00:23:40
Think Fresh
Mm-hmm.
00:23:44
Ty Fresh
Get back in there.
00:23:46
Think Fresh
I'm a little bit ashamed to admit it, but I have just pushed it back in with my palm before.
00:23:51
Ty Fresh
That's okay. I think you it's a handheld. You should be using every part of the hand.
00:23:57
Think Fresh
And every part of the burger can get touched.
00:23:59
Ty Fresh
Exactly. Dude, you can stick your hand right in there if you want. Who cares? There are no rules.
00:24:03
Think Fresh
Yeah, totally. There's no difference between touching the bun and touching the burger bun or the burger patty.
00:24:04
Ty Fresh
so
00:24:09
Ty Fresh
Yeah, my hands are dirty either way. It doesn't matter if I'm touching.
00:24:11
Think Fresh
yeah I did not wash my hands.
00:24:13
Ty Fresh
Like I can stick all, I can stick my whole fist in there. It doesn't matter. Like just rub it around.
00:24:18
Think Fresh
Mm-hmm.
00:24:19
Ty Fresh
death Get it like, like theoretically when you get a hamburger, what you, the first thing you should do pick it up with both hands and just like squeeze it and like clump it into like a really thick ball so that it holds together.
00:24:30
Think Fresh
Mm-hmm.
00:24:31
Ty Fresh
And then you start eating it like it's a, you're eating a snowball, you know?
00:24:37
Think Fresh
yeah i mean there's probably like a uh like i write a guide book on how to eat a burger but i think the press down is typically something that is done um there's like a press down slice cut in half combo you can do as well i think that's for bitches personally um but yeah you
00:24:50
Ty Fresh
well
00:24:58
Ty Fresh
The press down, you mean like you're smash-burgering yourself, you know?
00:25:02
Think Fresh
Yeah. You're not necessarily smashing the patty, but you are kind of from bun to bun, from tip to tail, you're kind of compressing it down.
00:25:10
Ty Fresh
bun smashing. But the thing is, like what when you do that, you're creating a lot of...
00:25:12
Think Fresh
Mm-hmm.
00:25:14
Ty Fresh
like um you're increasing the circumference of the burger, you're creating a lot of like potential for stuff to slip out. So what I always think here and is I always think like, what would Joey Chestnut do?
00:25:27
Ty Fresh
And I'm pretty sure Joey Chestnut would just like literally compact it into just a super tight ball, you know? And that I'm telling you, that is the move here. So I think in the case of subway, we don't have the same the um dimensions of the footlong make that a little bit more challenging.
00:25:46
Ty Fresh
So you're like kind of hitting it from the front. would Would you call it eating it backwards if you turned it 180? Are you like eating it backwards now? I don't even know. Is that backwards? Yeah.
00:25:57
Think Fresh
It is backwards if it's sliced in half and you're eating one half at a time. Because presumably you're starting with the cross-section part, right?
00:26:05
Ty Fresh
Right. Yo, but what if you're left-handed? Then are you starting backwards? and you're Wait, never mind. Never mind. Okay.
00:26:12
Think Fresh
fucking dude no um joey chestnut do you think he is it has an eating disorder or is it like if you're getting paid then all bets are off like you know saying like if you're paid to uh i don't know drink yourself silly for to test a beer you're not an alcoholic you're just you're doing your job
00:26:13
Ty Fresh
i don't know.
00:26:36
Ty Fresh
You're right. As soon as there's a paycheck on the other side, you're a professional. this guy has
00:26:42
Think Fresh
yeah
00:26:43
Ty Fresh
If that was me eating 47 hot dogs in half an hour, i think my i my friends would be concerned. My family would do a wellness check on me.
00:26:55
Ty Fresh
They're like, Ty, that's too many dogs.
00:26:58
Think Fresh
I know, yeah, but ah not until you show them the ah the wealth simple you know direct deposit and you go, nah, babe, I'm just trying to put some more food on the table.
00:27:08
Ty Fresh
yeah Surely there's enough, but but it is kind of cool.
00:27:14
Think Fresh
There's more than enough food on the table. We don't need any more. You've eaten it at all.
00:27:18
Ty Fresh
yeah there There was a lot until you ate it. There is something really ah aspirational about being in a position where you're paid to consume something.
00:27:29
Ty Fresh
Because most people are paid to create something, whether you're the barista at Starbucks or the Wall Street employee who's, well, they're kind of consuming, they're leeching know leaching on, I don't know how hedge funds work.
00:27:30
Think Fresh
Mm-hmm.
00:27:43
Ty Fresh
most Most jobs, they have to create a thing. You know you create a part of the factory.
00:27:47
Think Fresh
Mm-hmm.
00:27:48
Ty Fresh
You create an idea because you're a white-collar guy.
00:27:50
Think Fresh
Mm-hmm.
00:27:52
Ty Fresh
But not chestnut. he only and He's a black hole.
00:27:58
Think Fresh
No, totally. um I guess like you got the capitalist society we live in. You got to create something that someone else can buy. Right. So that makes me realize Chestnut is an entertainer.
00:28:10
Think Fresh
We're paying to watch this guy take down 57 dogs and not want throw up after, you know, maybe he does. We don't know.
00:28:19
Ty Fresh
Cool. Huh, you're right. He's a performer. He's getting paid to
00:28:23
Think Fresh
hmm.
00:28:23
Ty Fresh
He's no different than A24 or OnlyFans.
00:28:28
Think Fresh
Mm-hmm. He's the white man's LeBron James.
00:28:32
Ty Fresh
He is. Top of his game.
00:28:35
Think Fresh
Mm-hmm.
00:28:36
Ty Fresh
King Nut, we call him.
00:28:36
Think Fresh
Longevity.
00:28:40
Think Fresh
Say it with your chest, nott
00:28:44
Ty Fresh
I'm actually drinking a chestnut ale beer, and I don't know if that's how we got to this conversation or not. It's kind of weird. um It must have been. We must have like subconsciously picked up on that.
00:28:59
Ty Fresh
I don't know how else we would have got here.
00:29:01
Think Fresh
I didn't. I didn't see that it was that, but it must be that it's swashing around in your belly that you decided to talk about it.
00:29:09
Ty Fresh
hmm. I've and I've embodied the chestnut literally.
00:29:13
Think Fresh
I have some Sapporo.
00:29:14
Ty Fresh
you were You had a question for me, Eric, or you had something you needed to get off your chestnut.
00:29:20
Think Fresh
I did, but your topic was better, to be honest. I just wanted to talk about the...
Modern Relationship Dynamics
00:29:26
Think Fresh
recent Vogue article that posed the question to its audience, is it embarrassing to have a boyfriend in 2025?
00:29:33
Think Fresh
Have you read this?
00:29:35
Ty Fresh
man. Yes, I've been hearing all about this. all All the girlies online are talking about this. And i I don't really know what to think. I'm taken aback by it. I'm shocked.
00:29:48
Think Fresh
Well, luckily for you, Ty, you just missed it because you you're no longer a boyfriend. You're a husband. In fact, deep down, you always have Mm-hmm.
00:29:58
Ty Fresh
Yeah, you're right. I'm booed up permanently. And I feel like though there's still like a lot of um boyfriend in me, you know? And so I can empathize with what's happening with my fellow ah dating soldiers.
00:30:17
Think Fresh
Mm-hmm. Totally. Yeah. This is a, not a good time for single men. you know what I mean? Unless you're a, unless you're a little hottie or something, but normal men emphasis on little.
00:30:25
Ty Fresh
Like me.
00:30:31
Ty Fresh
Thanks.
00:30:32
Think Fresh
Um, but yeah, like, i don't know if i I think I see where this is kind of going. Like, The anti anti-boy rhetoric is peaking, Ty.
00:30:44
Ty Fresh
Mm-hmm.
00:30:45
Think Fresh
And can't say that there's a strong argument against to be honest.
00:30:50
Ty Fresh
Well, this is what the problem is, Eric, is ah they're right. I don't really know how. like Yeah, like boys are dumb. And boys have sucked for so many years. And they're only sucking more every year.
00:31:05
Ty Fresh
And then they keep coming boys keep coming inventing more reasons to be bad.
00:31:05
Think Fresh
Mm-hmm.
00:31:09
Ty Fresh
like you know They're like, oh, we got we got Fortnite now. There's another...
00:31:14
Think Fresh
Yeah. More and more men in their 30s that I know in my circle are gaming. And that's a red flag, to be honest.
00:31:23
Ty Fresh
Yeah, they're pulling back. They're retreating.
00:31:28
Think Fresh
I think um it's kind of funny how it this coincides timeline wise with... um returning to traditional roles in the household.
00:31:39
Think Fresh
and And think women are realizing that they do everything anyway. So why have just one guy around there? You know, got one guy around the house when you can play the field.
00:31:50
Think Fresh
You're doing all the work anyway.
00:31:52
Ty Fresh
Yeah. And it's like, you gotta, to you you gotta to have a guy for everything, right? You know a guy for dinner, guy for trips, guy for this guy for that. Like, there's no reason not to like, I don't know, build a program out of it.
00:32:09
Think Fresh
Mm-hmm.
00:32:09
Ty Fresh
If you have the means to, yeah.
00:32:10
Think Fresh
Build a roster. Mm-hmm. Yeah, so finding a wife is a lot like getting a girl pregnant now. You got to be one of the swimmers who are going to swim the hardest, and only one of you are going to get chose, you know?
00:32:24
Ty Fresh
who And you got to like best of your best chances are if you do it really young by accident.
00:32:32
Think Fresh
yeah Exactly. You got to get in there super early. Yeah. It's hilarious.
00:32:39
Ty Fresh
before they catch on.
00:32:43
Think Fresh
Yeah. And more and more men are podcasting. So that's super embarrassing too. um
00:32:49
Ty Fresh
Well, it's kind of part...
00:32:49
Think Fresh
You're listening to Think Fresh.
00:32:51
Ty Fresh
Shout out to all our male listeners.
00:32:55
Think Fresh
Mm-hmm.
00:32:55
Ty Fresh
Podcasting is like one of the acts of retreat that men are doing. and They're gaming. They're podcasting. They're making protein shakes. They're doing all these things that they they're like...
00:33:04
Think Fresh
Mm-hmm.
00:33:08
Ty Fresh
chronically online you know they're like they're doing their own research which they should have never done you know they're just they're doing all these other these things that are just even they're like they're low-balling on grail that's where they are right now but everything i mentioned here they're doing it for the boys it's all for the boys
00:33:10
Think Fresh
Mm-hmm.
00:33:14
Think Fresh
Mm-hmm.
00:33:28
Think Fresh
Yeah, fair enough. But I think both genders are guilty of this. They just do things that are pleasing people of the same gender.
Gender-Based Impressing Activities
00:33:36
Think Fresh
You know what saying? Like, the clothes I mean you by, we're not impressing any girls with that. We're impressing the fellow, we're the were the impressing the mates. You know, it's like, oh, you got that new crow marks on. Shit, bro.
00:33:50
Think Fresh
You know i mean?
00:33:51
Ty Fresh
yeah that's true
00:33:51
Think Fresh
Like, it's not it's not for anyone but the boys. And same with chicks. Like, You think guys are impressed that they're reading the newest novel at the park? Don't give a fuck.
00:34:02
Ty Fresh
Yeah, the performative male is performing for who? The other males.
00:34:08
Think Fresh
Totally. It's a competition out there.
00:34:09
Ty Fresh
He doesn't even know that.
00:34:10
Think Fresh
Yeah.
00:34:13
Think Fresh
It's true. It's true.
00:34:16
Ty Fresh
I guess actually the performative male is the exception here. I take this back. That is like, it is such an iconic like motif because Eric, it is breaking away from the men's retreat. It's like while the army retreats, the lone soldier steps up and like triples down on like peacocking to all of womankind.
00:34:38
Ty Fresh
It's like, like they're like like, oh, if I'm not going to follow the army, I'm going to like over index so hard. And like there's no in between.
00:34:49
Ty Fresh
Men are radicalized.
00:34:49
Think Fresh
Yeah. Totally, dude. Pick a side. um Dude, peacocking is so funny because like if you really like nature is just the same for everything, right?
00:34:52
Ty Fresh
Pick a side.
00:35:02
Think Fresh
It's like humans are kind of like those birds that do like the funny little dance to like attract the chick. It's like, have you ever seen like dudes by themselves dancing and like at a bar or club? It's like they're doing the exact same thing.
00:35:14
Think Fresh
They're just trying to like look cool for a for some chick to like go talk to them. It's so funny.
00:35:21
Ty Fresh
It's crazy.
00:35:21
Think Fresh
why Why do people do that?
00:35:23
Ty Fresh
Yeah, dude. and it's But it sometimes works. It's like if you wiggle the right way, it works.
00:35:28
Think Fresh
Mm-hmm.
00:35:29
Ty Fresh
But if you wiggle the wrong way, it really doesn't.
00:35:31
Think Fresh
Mm hmm. It's an art form, not a science, unfortunately, for most men.
00:35:36
Ty Fresh
Unfortunately. And at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter how you wiggle if you follow Rick Owens' school of thought.
00:35:38
Think Fresh
Damn.
00:35:44
Ty Fresh
Just, like, have a hot bod.
00:35:45
Think Fresh
Mm hmm.
00:35:48
Think Fresh
That is the best way to make it through life, I think.
00:35:53
Ty Fresh
So, to circle this back to an act of rebirth, the Terhamkin should... It better look real good, is what I'm saying.
00:36:04
Ty Fresh
If we're going to be eating that up, it better be tasty.
00:36:05
Think Fresh
Better look tasty and yummy. Totally. And if you want to be attractive, stop eating at Subway. That's the best advice I could give you.
00:36:15
Ty Fresh
You're probably right. It's not a good look to even just be nearby, but let alone.
00:36:20
Think Fresh
Mm-hmm.
00:36:21
Ty Fresh
Yeah, there's so many reasons.
00:36:23
Think Fresh
Mm-hmm.
00:36:23
Ty Fresh
If you want to get into it, just go back. Three hundred four hundred and sixty nine episodes.
00:36:30
Think Fresh
Perfect. Okay. Well, that's all I had to talk about, Ty. Anything else you want to cover or should we get this weekend started? Oh,
00:36:36
Ty Fresh
Yeah, dude, I got like 20 more beers to drink, so I really got to get going.
00:36:40
Think Fresh
fuck. Okay. Me too. Think fresh, everybody.
00:36:43
Ty Fresh
Ciao.