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TSP Ep: 145 Judging Shorts in a Film Festival or All Movies Suck!
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In this episode, Tom and Steve reunite and give it to all the filmmakers, who submitted shorts in a film festival they are judging. They discuss the films and their metric for ranking them. Then they go onto to discuss what filmmakers should consider when being judged and how they would go about being judged as filmmakers.
So come along with us as we discuss a thing or two!
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Transcript
Influence of Wealth and Justice
00:00:00
Speaker
I know. Four years. You know how many years I'd get? You'd get the chair, man. There's literally video of him beating his girlfriend in a hotel.
00:00:12
Speaker
and it's like, nah, ain't so bad. You can beat a few women and only get four years. good to be rich. It's good to know Sting. That's so disgusting, dude. Wait, it's yeah, Sting and P. Diddy, right? the had They did that thing. P. Diddy pays Sting like a million dollars a day or some shit. To beat women?
00:00:30
Speaker
No. To be in the sex parties? Because he covered a Sting song or something. Every step you take. Something like that. Yeah. I don't know. Because that was for... ah um that's when peak ah piggy That was when Biggie died, and he did that cover.
00:00:49
Speaker
I miss you, Biggie. I miss you, bro, even though i killed you. No, I don't know. You didn't use the baby oil, right? You didn't let me slip and slide.
Morality and Evil: A Debate
00:01:01
Speaker
That's crazy, right? like When his house got raided, like how many bottles of baby oil get? like That's when I realized, you know, I'm a piece of shit in a lot of respects.
00:01:12
Speaker
I'm a shitty person, but there's levels to the shittiness. Oh, yeah, dude. You ain't Grandmaster P. Diddy, that's for sure. like Did you ever hear any of the Epstein birthday book?
00:01:24
Speaker
Did you hear any of the details? No, I didn't. It's disturbing, dude. They put together a birthday book for him. And they literally have like little kid drawings in there.
00:01:36
Speaker
And it's just like fucking hell. Like that a kid drew, you know? It's just like, God. Rot in hell, man. You know? Teddy Epstein. This is like You in the baby oil this time. Jesus Christ, dude. Just rot in hell.
00:01:50
Speaker
I always think that there are there's depravity and then there's something way worse than that, man. you know Well, I mean, for lack of a better word, it's just evil. You know? Like there's just some evil shit.
00:02:03
Speaker
And there's some evil people. I think the thing too is when you boil down to it, lot of it is just like opportunity to be evil.
00:02:15
Speaker
Yeah. Most people don't have like that much opportunity to be evil. Like too many of us are struggling just to like put food on the table. That's true. If I had the opportunity, I'd do a couple evil things. i That's the problem, right? But I still have my line of evilness, you know?
Welcome to Twin Shadows Podcast
00:02:30
Speaker
Like I'm not going to kill someone.
00:02:32
Speaker
Yeah, there's a line that, yeah, definitely. I'm not going to hostile like in the movie. hall I'm not going to pay X amount of money to torture someone to death. i say that now, but five years after Dickhead sells, yeah your bed's a little lumpy. ah That's where I put the corpses under the mattress.
00:02:49
Speaker
But it's fucked up, man. It really is. It's a dark world we're living in, and it's a dark time. Speaking of dark times, welcome go to the Twin Shadows podcast, a podcast about film, filmmaking, filmmakers. You
Film Discussion: 'Weapons' and Inspirations
00:03:00
Speaker
are brought to... This episode is brought to you by the co-hosts with the most hosts that have... a Just recently had a guest on ah the Joe Bob Briggs show, ah Twitch House Podcast. Welcome, welcome, welcome. If you check it out, it is Saturday, 2.43 p.m. And we are already well into, well, I'm well into off a few drinks. You're a little ahead of me.
00:03:27
Speaker
Stephen's got to catch up, but we all know that it's all good. So you didn't listen to this episode that just came out. It just came out this morning. previous one because I released it late.
00:03:40
Speaker
But I did bring up Weapons. And I wanted to... i finally saw Weapons. Why did I want to talk to you about that film? but what's your What did you think of it? because Oh, that's why. Because I was complimenting you...
00:03:57
Speaker
Because we were texting each other back and forth about weapons and you're like, oh man, I just hate these films that are references to better movies. And you mentioned Magnolia.
00:04:07
Speaker
Yeah. And I don't know if you read any of the articles about weapons, but the director said literally Magnolia was a major influence. I think they shot it maybe in 70mm.
00:04:19
Speaker
I don't know and some shot about that, but it literally felt, especially the way it's broken up. and It's not a Rashomon style, but it's like each character is like kind of has their own story. Well, I mean, that's not a big deal in my opinion. If they do like...
00:04:35
Speaker
multiple perspectives. No, no, no, no, but that style and then, i don't know, for some
Actors and Influence in Film Production
00:04:40
Speaker
reason, the way the cop looks reminds me so much of ah John C. Reilly from Magnolia. Oh, yeah, that's in there, huh?
00:04:47
Speaker
And, um like, the the cop in that, it's like if John C. Reilly was that age, he should have been playing that cop. he would have been him. Yeah. um And I don't think Weapons is necessarily a bad film. I thought it was very well made.
00:05:02
Speaker
yeah i was i had never I hadn't seen a trailer. I haven't seen anything about it before I watched it. And it was kind of like, oh, wow. Okay, cool, cool, cool. So you didn't know any of the drama surrounding it leading in? Because like Pedro Pascal was… Supposed to play a character and all these other really good actors. But they had to drop out because I guess there was a lot of issues getting it made in time.
00:05:24
Speaker
And i I guess it got to a point where it wasn't going to get made in time. But I think Josh Brolin kind of saved the day on it. Really? Interesting. Noah. And Pedro, he had to just walk away because he's like, look, dude.
00:05:35
Speaker
I thought we were going to shoot now. We're not. I'm busy man. I can't. I can't. Very busy man. Make that obligation. Holy shit. Pedro Pascal's, I think, been in like 14 movies this year, which is kind of insane.
00:05:47
Speaker
Yeah. hanh There is. There are actors. That that kind of happens to actors and they kind of burn out and you know just don't see them anymore. Like Tessa Thompson. I remember for a while she was in everything.
00:05:58
Speaker
Yeah, it's kind of weird, her in particular, because it's like, well, why did she go away? Because she's still a really good actress. She's probably just busy. She made that Men in Black movie, and then they were like, well.
00:06:09
Speaker
Well,
Originality in Cinema: A Critique
00:06:10
Speaker
she's probably just really busy, I guess, doing some other things, because it's like, why wouldn't you put her in more movies? um But yeah, the bringing it back to weapons, um I thought it was interesting because yeah ah so much of that film just feels like it's like a reference to so many other films. yeah And the other thing that really made that reminded me of that was The Substance that we talked about a lot. and And that's another film where it's just like everything is a callback to something. It's like Tarantino films.
00:06:37
Speaker
where and so the only thing is Tarantino's well of films are so deep to dig from. not every like right He never has ripped off The Shining, but everyone else is ripping off The Shining. He goes deep.
00:06:48
Speaker
And not only that, he still makes it his own. yeah you know but he Yeah. But he goes a lot deeper. it's and then But then once you see the references, like if you've ever seen the comparisons between, i think it's City on Fire and Reservoir Dogs. Yeah.
00:07:01
Speaker
About a bank heist that goes wrong and everyone is trying to figure out who the rat is. It's the same movie. And it's like, oh, ah oh, it's just no one's ever heard of this movie with starring Chow Yun-fat from like 1987. Oh, okay.
00:07:14
Speaker
Well, I would say also the big one too from him where he referenced was The Hateful Eight because it's basically The Thing. Yeah, so much so that he stole the soundtrack. Well, he didn't steal it, but he used it. John Carpenter didn't use the soundtrack that Inyo Morikori used for the film. He used his own soundtrack. John Carpenter's like, I want to get paid three times.
00:07:36
Speaker
I think that was John Carpenter's thing was he was just trying to do as many roles as possible to get paid as much. Oh, really? Because John Carpenter, he's a money man, dude. He just wants more money. He's like, he's like you want to rip me give Where's my paycheck? Just give me that money.
00:07:51
Speaker
But you know, I'll say this, like, okay. Let's say yeah he well he copied The Hateful Eight with Tarantino. Let's say he copied or he copied The Thing.
00:08:02
Speaker
The Hateful Eight is still very much its own film. like Absolutely. like I noticed, like okay, this is essentially The Thing, but it's still so much its own piece that it's just based homage. Weapons was the same way. I think Weapons did the same thing. And I think Zack Greger really is kind of like a new to watch out for.
00:08:21
Speaker
But you didn't we hate Barbarian? I don't think I would say I hated Barbarian. i just think... I did. I had the... it was It's misinterpreted as a horror film when it's actually just ah comedy like a horror comedy.
00:08:34
Speaker
it's just so It's like an absurdist comedy yeah in a weird way. Yeah. Which Weapons is also like. And Weapons in the same in the same vein is very much almost like a satire on addiction and um like how we treat each other.
00:08:54
Speaker
and It's like how we weaponize each other. Literally the title of the film, Weapons, right? And it's how we weaponize each other. And some people do it more metaphorically metaphysically than literally, as in the the, I guess, spoilers for weapons from here on out.
Societal Commentary in 'Weapons'
00:09:10
Speaker
yeah There's a witch, which I didn't know. i knew there was a witch, but I didn't really understand like everything that was going Oh, I had no idea. um Because, ah unfortunately, it was just the fact of being a member of any film community. People talked about the witch from Weapons. just came out, yeah. Because I remember, I think there was talk of a prequel starring Gladys.
00:09:31
Speaker
Yeah, they're going to do prequel. It just got green. And I was like, eh, that's going to be dog shit, but... Well, she was a good character. She was good, but not whole movie worth.
00:09:46
Speaker
I think the power of that film is just like in the magnolia of it all where it's interesting characters with interesting stories to tell.
00:09:57
Speaker
And it's just really well made. um Josh Brolin and the ah drunk teacher that has a checkered past.
00:10:07
Speaker
Well, she's just a drunk and it's like, she's evil. i'm like, damn, man, drunks ain't that bad. Come on. What do you want? Come on. It happens to well everybody. which Yeah, that Jim Bean's rough.
00:10:20
Speaker
I got it, and I was not a fan. Jim Bean Black is what Tom's drinking, and I had to stop because it gave me too much heartburn. and Yeah. But I want to say i liked Weapons in the sense that it went in directions I wasn't think i wasn't like really thinking about.
00:10:39
Speaker
This
Podcasting and Audience Engagement
00:10:40
Speaker
year has been a really stinker for new films. Yeah. I can't think of anything in 2025 I've loved. Well, I was saying in the previous podcast. And we're in October.
00:10:52
Speaker
Yeah, I was saying in the previous podcast that I thought the best films of this year, literally, my that I've seen, might be Weapons. 28 years later, I think, is probably the best film of the year that I've seen.
00:11:06
Speaker
And then… You're busy he watching Phantom Zone. Yeah.
Film Festival Judging: Ethics and Bias
00:11:10
Speaker
yes And then, I don't know if this came out this year or not, but Warfare? That was this year, yeah.
00:11:17
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, it's kind of like a Black Hawk Down where there's not a lot of story per se or character development. It's just kind of like you're in this moment this battle. Warfare is a movie I've almost put on like 40 times.
00:11:29
Speaker
And then I'm like, I guess I'll watch something else. It's pretty good, man. i got I watched it with my family and and we got high watching it. And it was just so intense, man. It was just like, I don't ever want to go to war. Don't ever put me in war, man. I'm comfortable with my chair podcasting. Oh, you know, I always think about that. ah I've had a lot of friends that have gone yeah to Iraq, Afghanistan. And, you know, they always come back. And it's like, you know, it's just like nothing you've ever experienced before.
00:12:03
Speaker
Especially the the kind of war that was on in Iraq, Afghanistan where literally it's like anyone is the enemy who knows what the enemy is. Why are we here? What the fuck is going on? like I haven't seen warfare so I don't necessarily know if that's kind of what it captures. But I mean when you watch a film like Come and See… The thing is about World War II as well in general, sorry about the tangent, but it's just like, dude, it was so obvious. The Nazis are bad guys, right?
00:12:30
Speaker
Well, not only is it obvious, but you know they wore uniforms, right? So clearly someone in military fatigues of some sort yeah probably is a soldier. you know Whereas Iraq, what's the difference between a terrorist and a civilian?
00:12:45
Speaker
Kill them all. That's what we did though, right? I know. Because I mean, I think ah our... parameters of a terrorist combatant was a male from like 16 to 45 or something like that.
00:13:01
Speaker
And any person who died within that range, like in a drone strike, terrorist combatant, you know, even if they're not. Yeah. So.
00:13:12
Speaker
There's like weapons. So yeah, I don't, I haven't seen too many good films this year, but also I'll say I haven't really watched too many films this year. I've been watching just a lot of older stuff. I watched Superman.
00:13:23
Speaker
I didn't like it. Oh yeah. We saw Superman. too Oh yeah. We watched didn't like it. I saw it again. um i liked it a little more cause I could pay attention a little bit more. you know when we watch things together a lot of times we got kids all over the place. We're not paying attention. We're getting messed up. We're laughing, joking.
00:13:42
Speaker
But I think um my biggest thing and my biggest biggest biggest criticism of every film I've seen in 2025 is they're just all messes. There's nothing like, where's the drive my car? Like this like really solid story. Like I'm so sick of these like poorly edited, big budget schlocky pieces of shit. But those films never make it in either though, right? I gotta i guess I should look up 2025 releases. Because we haven't seen any like the small, critically acclaimed type of film. Although, have have you seen PTA's film yet?
00:14:19
Speaker
No, I'm going to go see it in the Vista. Is it this week? Coming up? Yeah, you're going to come down? i don't think I can. i took too many days off. Tron. Tron Rising.
00:14:31
Speaker
Or Tron Ares. That just came out. Are you fucking kidding? really want to see that, I'll be honest. And the soundtrack is of me sounds amazing. you know what came out this year that I
Evaluating Films: Short vs. Features
00:14:40
Speaker
liked quite a bit? Bring Her Back.
00:14:42
Speaker
Did you see that yet? Yes. I liked it quite a bit. I liked it. nice I really enjoyed. i didn't like the writing. I thought it was a little too on the nose.
00:14:54
Speaker
It was very on the nose, but it was executed. It was so tight. The movie is so tight because it's only like an hour and like 30 minutes, I think. um Yeah, it was really it was a really interesting film. Hour 39 minutes, and it just doesn't stop, which I love. Those directors, man.
00:15:12
Speaker
They're something special too. And they're not getting a lot of coverage like weapons this guy got. some you know he's Real big press. Yeah. and it's like I like Bring Her Back more than Weapons. and now Weapons might be a film that you need to watch it more than once to appreciate, but I'm never watching it again.
00:15:29
Speaker
Well, I am. I'll probably watch it again tonight with my family. but yeah You know you know what you should watch? You should watch ah the new ah Shane Black movie, Play Dirty, with Lakers, Stanfield, and Marky Mark. My dad likes watching a lot of shooting movies.
00:15:46
Speaker
In action. He would love Play Dirty then. Okay. He'll love it. Because we usually end up watching three movies. It's a no bullshit. And usually I'm high at some point and I just make him watch Shin Godzilla every time.
00:15:57
Speaker
Well, I mean, when is Ernie coming over? Because I'm going to finish. i mean, where's the Gentleman Jack? I now always know her dad Ernie and Gentleman Jack. You know, those things are a two peas in the pod. Yeah.
00:16:09
Speaker
I'll
Film Selection Challenges for Festivals
00:16:10
Speaker
never forget when we came back from your ah from ah Sophia's baby shower. Baby shower, yeah. And his car rolled out of the fucking driveway. And everyone's trying. It's like, don't catch it You can't. ah but you Do not catch a car.
00:16:26
Speaker
No, that happened again. He was on our driveway. And it started rolling away from him. And he grabbed it by the side mirror. And that was holding. He's like, it's Steven. And like, what? What do you want me to do? I can't hold this car back. He's like, get behind it. Bro, Anton Yelchin, dude. That's how you fucking die. So I got behind the car, and I just kept it from rolling down any further. It was terrifying.
00:16:47
Speaker
Other movies that came out this year. Terrifier? no No, that was last year. did you see yeah Oh, you said oh Until Dawn was a piece of shit.
00:16:58
Speaker
Oh, God. F1 was okay. It was okay. um It was exactly... What you would expect. It was like ah How did my buddy Miguel... he He said it was like a Michael Bay summer blockbuster.
00:17:14
Speaker
It was like an Independence Day. Nah, it was better than that. just shut your brain off and you just watch... Well acted, well directed, well cinematography scenes, but there it doesn't get any deeper than that. No.
00:17:26
Speaker
It's as shallow as it can be. Kind of like the sport. but it and But it's like, wow. Fucking what's his name can really direct the movie. Because was directed by the guy that did Ford v Ferrari. Oh, the same guy?
00:17:43
Speaker
Well, we weren't fans of Ford v Ferrari. No, that movie sucked dick
00:17:50
Speaker
That movie sucked the tailpipe. Wait, no. F1 was directed by... No, F1 was not directed by the guy that did a 4B Ferrari. I apologize. It was directed by the guy that did Mission Impossible. the The new Mission Impossible movies.
00:18:02
Speaker
Oblivion. Have you seen that one? I haven't seen it. Was it any good? I haven't seen it either. And nothing, I didn't hear anything about that film. ah My buddy said it wasn't that good. And it was a little too long.
00:18:14
Speaker
And I think it's like two and hours and 40 minutes. Yeah. and Well, so was the first part. It was a little too long too. Yeah. And I was just like, and and also the villain, I was like, I don't give a shit about this villain that you just randomly sprung up in the middle of, or the end of the series.
00:18:30
Speaker
Yeah. We're like 14 movies in and it's like this guy's... Are you shaking that mic like crazy, dude? No. it ah Just the one time. keep seeing bobbing around. That's going pick up in the audio. Just the one time. It's not going to... Don't shake that goddamn mic. Put your feet up there. Look, there we go. My feet are away from the stand.
00:18:48
Speaker
There. We're good. Yeah, man. So maybe this is a super weak year then. I mean, we haven't seen the the Academy films, right? Because there's the ah ah The Rock movie.
00:19:00
Speaker
Smashing Machine that just came out. that just came out he's and He might get nominated. He might get nominated for it. It's a Safdie film. Oh, and yeah, and it's a Safdie. I heard it was like all ah a little bit all over the place. That's a movie I've been dying to rewatch.
00:19:16
Speaker
Good time. Oh, yeah. I fucking loved that the first time I watched it. I loved it. I watched Uncut Gems with Karen because trying to show it to her. But it was too fast for her to follow along.
00:19:29
Speaker
It's rough. It's rough. Like, that the pace on that is breakneck. Like, it is not it does not let go. Yeah. so So, that was like kind of a bad movie for her to watch. but um Also, I feel like… it's it's a good film. Yeah. it's ah it's a good phone I'm a big fan of the Safdies.
00:19:47
Speaker
I think weapons was great. I don't think it will necessarily be nominated for anything. I don't think it's... It's not a substance. No. Where it's... the the the The biggest difference, I would say, between weapons and the substance is the substance pushed...
00:20:05
Speaker
ah the expectation of the viewer into areas that they're probably not comfortable with. Or used to. the The normie filmgoer whose favorite film is Interstellar probably watched The Substance and was like, oh my god, here's your face and there's boobs popping out.
00:20:23
Speaker
You know, they haven't seen Phantom Zone. They haven't seen your... No, they like weapons. ah But... Also, I'll say in respect to to weapons, the director said he's like, I just wrote this shit. I wasn't trying to be anything deeper than what it is.
00:20:39
Speaker
If people are finding all these elements, he's like, cool. But I wasn't really trying to to go that deep. Like there's a shot in the film where they shall show an m sixteen or something.
00:20:50
Speaker
Yeah, and in the dream sequence when he's chasing after his son, Josh Brolin. Yeah. And then he's like, he sees it over the house. and Yeah, and it's never really referenced again. And the director, he's like, yeah, I just had a dream where I saw that. And I was like, I'm going to put it in this movie.
00:21:04
Speaker
Yeah, but the problem is, is like America is a little too coded for that, right? It's like, oh, you see an M16 over a kid having a dream. It's like school shootings come to mind. Well, yeah, I mean. I mean, I...
00:21:17
Speaker
That's one thing I'm so grateful for as having, we yeah we didn't live through school shootings. Yeah, we did. i mean, very little. Columbine was in 99, I think. Like, like I mean, yeah, we had probably like a couple more years of school. Yeah, you more than me,
00:21:31
Speaker
Because I so i graduated in 2003. But Columbine was the big is is the big one because it was so um mediaor media popularized and and talked about. I mean, right, there are films, Kids by Gus Van Sant. Is that the one that's about the school shooting?
00:21:48
Speaker
Oh, yeah. i don't know. Like a lot of those are about Columbine, but it wasn't until I think like Sandy Hook and that was like 2014. And by then we were like way out of school.
00:21:59
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. No, I mean, it's it's nowhere near the level it is now. Even at VVC, there was a kid that shot his brains out in the at the cafeteria.
00:22:10
Speaker
Yeah. Ruined the fucking rice bowls, you know. Jesus Christ, dude. Yeah, no, I remember. and And I tell people that. It's like, yeah, we had a ah shooting on campus. Like, Yeah. And they've even told us because we do drills for emergencies. Like we'll do earthquake drills, of course.
00:22:27
Speaker
but And we'll do shooting drills every now and then. And then campus police told us like, yeah, you're we're more likely to face a shooting incident than fire.
00:22:41
Speaker
And fires are like the number one incident you'll run into. And yeah, like yeah a shooting is actually more likely to happen than that. And i was like, fuck, man, that's... That's where are we live in. that's That's scary, you know.
00:22:53
Speaker
That is scary. And then it's even ramping up now. you know It's ramping up so much more now, which makes it even just more terrifying. Well, I mean, ah you talked about it a little bit on your solo podcast, and I think we should talk about a little bit about these solo episodes a little bit and what that experience has been like.
00:23:11
Speaker
But you talked about Charlie Kirk a little bit. I mean, how can you not really bring it up? it's Well, we do. It was... We bring up all the shit that we have no...
00:23:23
Speaker
No authority to talk about. But, you know, we have an opinion and we live in this country. so We live in this country. And we're subject to all of this shit. We have an opinion. And not only that, like, you know, we're, you know, like ah we Yogi Bear would say, we're smaller or smarter than the average bear. i would I would like to ah believe, I guess. We'd like to believe that.
00:23:43
Speaker
I've been told that. It's not in my own assertion that I'm smarter. When was the last time you were talking? People always are telling me I'm smart. And I'm like, you have got really check yourself.
00:23:56
Speaker
No one's ever told me um Please stop telling me I'm smart. Like, I fucking hate it It's like you… Wow, what a problem to have. Can people just tell we held kids stop tellingy me how smart I am? and Well, join IT, buddy.
00:24:09
Speaker
You'll look like a goddamn genius when you walk over and you're like, like oh, hey. Did you turn it off? Yeah. Oh, I actually just just restarted it. Yeah. um But to bring it up, you know our world our world that we live in now has never been in you know more of a...
00:24:30
Speaker
what is it What's a good way to put this? Like a precarious situation. I mean, it's the pilot, the Kindle is everyone.
00:24:41
Speaker
i always think of it like this pile of Kindling. and Everyone is just striking the flint. And it's like, dude, when is the fire going to catch? Like, it's so close. Like, Charlie Kirk was this big spark.
00:24:54
Speaker
And I thought for sure this was going to lead to something more. And I think it kind of has in a sense. It did. Like, over the past weekend or a couple weeks ago, there was like four mass shootings.
00:25:06
Speaker
yeah Within a short time. I mean, even when Charlie Kirk was killed, there was a mass shooting at the school. The very same day. Very same day. No coverage on that, you know, because who cares about the kids? Charlie Kirk is Jesus Christ, superstar.
00:25:23
Speaker
And hey, i you know, I didn't know the man. i want I've probably seen a couple videos of his, but I was not a fan. i don't think he was a necessarily a good person. Yeah, he's a piece of shit.
00:25:39
Speaker
I mean, he he profited off of the misery of the divisiveness of everything, you know, of separating left and right. And, you know, he he was going to those campuses to be antagonistic. And if you ever watch those videos, they're heavily edited.
00:25:56
Speaker
He never uses the people who have good points that s stump him. it's And it's crazy just how like... I think someone stumped him. Yeah, they did.
00:26:08
Speaker
But it's crazy how it... What would you say? Evan evangelized? He's being treated... Oh, did you watch the funeral proceedings when his wife was like walking out?
00:26:20
Speaker
And there's all these fireworks and there's all these pyrotechnics on stage. And there's like, oh it's just like all these explosions and things around her. And then she's walking behind the bulletproof bra glass.
00:26:33
Speaker
And she's like, you know, like, oh, you know, wow, if Charlie could have been here to see this, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, God, dude, that's one thing that the the right really has on on us on the left, man. It's like, God damn, they they do not let anything go to waste.
00:26:50
Speaker
But fireworks, you know, they're shooting again, you know? I mean, they don't give a shit, right? there They're gun range fanatics, right? ah Fucking... But it's funny. Lone survivor boy gets murdered.
00:27:05
Speaker
but And they're like, well, it wasn't the gun's fault. We got to look at mental health, but were we can't fund mental health. But we got to look at it. It's really funny because, you know, there's a lot of conspiracy theories, of course.
00:27:19
Speaker
And it's MAGA who's doing, who's investigating this. And it's like, well, who knows guns? It's the right. And they're like, you know, this kind of gun... I saw ah video out from a YouTube leftist guy.
00:27:35
Speaker
And he he showed a clip of one of the videos for the conspiracy theories. And the guy was like, this caliber of bullet from this rifle would take his head off. And it's like, that didn't happen.
00:27:48
Speaker
So was he the shooter? So it's kind of interesting. um It's like, when it comes to guns, you can fool the left. You ain't get to fool the right on the caliber of a rifle and its effects. But you can, though, because the right is retarded.
00:28:05
Speaker
So they're very easy to fool. And I'm sorry I used the R word, all my leftist brothers out there. um But, I mean, how can you really word it any other way?
00:28:18
Speaker
The fact that there's conspiracy theory... i the fact The thing is, and I've always held so true to this, is the... ah The simplest answer is almost always the truth.
00:28:29
Speaker
Conspiracies are almost oh are so hard to kind of pull off. Sure, we've had conspiracy conspiracies in the past, but a rape Operation Northwoods is the one everyone always points to, where the government was planning on um downing planes and like actually like blowing planes up to incite war with Cuba during... What?...the...
00:28:50
Speaker
ah I've never heard of this. Just look up Operation Northwoods. No, come on. Give me a little snippet here. So essentially, it was like things the conspiracy of Operation Northwoods, which was signed off by like all the generals and everyone. in And JFK was like, no we're not doing this. Are you fucking serious? No.
00:29:09
Speaker
And it was like, hey, we're going to stage and plan fake attacks on airlines and ah but we're going to just blow up planes and we're gonna blow up stuff. Civilians?
00:29:20
Speaker
Yeah. And then we're going to do with all this in very like very like populated areas so that people know that we're under attack so that we can justify invading Cuba.
00:29:32
Speaker
What? Yeah. and nick And that came to light? And JFK was like, nah, we're not doing this. And this came to light? Yeah. Because of the um the freedom Freedom of Information Act.
00:29:45
Speaker
You have like 50 years or something, and then all your stuff is made public. and now saved Then you can request. Yeah, and that happened. And then people found out all about this. And Operation Northwoods alone has probably been the sole conspiracy that has led everyone to believe that everything else is a conspiracy.
00:30:04
Speaker
That's pretty bad. Well, I mean, look at Chinatown. We know it's not a conspiracy because it was proven to be true. Stop hitting your goddamn mic. Because we know it's proven to be true.
00:30:16
Speaker
But I mean, if everything was kept under wraps, the whole re-waterworks distribution for LA and taken away from Central Valley...
00:30:27
Speaker
That would have never been known. I mean, they were literally dumping water to cause a drought in LA and to get the rights. So, I mean, i think conspiracies happen a lot more than we probably realize.
00:30:41
Speaker
But also, it's hard to pull off a conspiracy because that's a lot of mouths you got to keep quiet. I say they do and they don't because... we have a a lot of people just die randomly that are like, oh, the whistleblowers, like Boeing, right? All those like weird random Boeing people.
00:30:59
Speaker
I'm sure people try to pull off conspiracies all the time because look at, we're not that smart as people. Well, look at Russia. but Everyone who dissents just falls out a window. They just disappear, right? Yeah. The last guy that went up against ah Putin, he he died he died, right?
00:31:19
Speaker
That guy. um I mean, that's a different country. If I knew his name, it would look like- Wasn't it Nalvany? We would sound so much more sophisticated. Wasn't it Nalvany? Yes. Yeah, in Albany. yeah and He was in prison.
00:31:30
Speaker
yeah He was imprisoned and murdered. Yeah, of course. But I mean, that's a different country, so I guess that's not fair to compare. But it's not that different. I don't think... I mean, a lot of people are like to shit on the Clintons, but there's a lot to shit on.
00:31:45
Speaker
Yeah. yeah ah I always love this thing. You know, everyone's always like, oh, the Epstein list, Epstein list, the Epstein list. It's like if Trump wasn't on the Epstein list, that shit would have been posted so fast.
00:31:59
Speaker
yeah He wouldn't have been able to like... There you go. The Epstein files. I mean, the fact that Cash, cash cash right?
00:32:08
Speaker
Yes. There's a conspiracy right there. that Cash Patel said, literally, right? We looked into the files and there's no link to anyone other than Epstein for human trafficking.
00:32:22
Speaker
yeah That's how you know it's bad because Bill Clinton's on that list. So for Trump to be like, nah, it's all cool. Everyone's innocent.
00:32:32
Speaker
You know Trump's on the list. You know a lot of the people up in government have... I mean, it was a honeypot, right? It was essentially like, hey, come hang out on this island and we own you.
00:32:44
Speaker
Because you were here and we have all these underage girls that you're probably fucking having the time of your life. boys, mean. Girls, boys. Whatever you want. Literally, whatever you want, we're going to provide you with and going to have a great time.
00:32:59
Speaker
Yeah. And you know what? If they told me that... I don't want no kids, man, but whatever else I want. Yeah. Consenting adults? Okay. yeah I'm all on board. Where's the baby oil? You mean consenting with money?
00:33:13
Speaker
Because you know transactional relationships I'm okay with. yeah that's I'm not okay with... ah Well, with that what Epstein, did I mean, it's pretty bad. It's very bad. I mean, like and were talking about it, but it's fucking...
00:33:28
Speaker
We joke about it, but the reality is it's absolutely disgusting. It's the... ah You know, we talk about making films and being filmmakers...
00:33:43
Speaker
But in reality, it's like right like the history of Hollywood, the history of filmmaking is so stained with this. Throughout. I mean, the whole Me Too movement was essentially like, yeah, every producer has been banging their stars for forever.
00:34:00
Speaker
The casting couch, right? That's so... It was made light of in Godfather, right? Like the whole horse head in the bed scene is because that...
00:34:14
Speaker
producer, that head of the studio, whatever he his role is, he's like, no, there's no way that Vito's godson could ever make it in my Hollywood because he banged the girl that I was fucking setting up and being ready for. Is that why they- That's why he can't get that role.
00:34:32
Speaker
But that's why they did that to him? Yeah. I can't remember his name in the movie. I want to say his name is like rico val Ricky Valentine or something. It's Uncle Rico. Yeah. And it's like, ah you know, he like he would have been so perfect for the role, but he banged the woman that I had set up for me.
00:34:49
Speaker
Don't you get it? i had found, I picked her out as for me. That was the motivation? Yeah, that was promote that was the motivation. out And you watch The Godfather and you're like, oh yeah, dude, Hollywood's so fucked. It's been so fucked for forever. You watch Babylon. and I mean, probably since what, the 20s, the 30s? Forever, yeah. guess probably the 30s, right? When studios really came into...
00:35:12
Speaker
fruition I mean, it all boils down to one thing and one thing only. When men are in power, they use that power to fuck people.
00:35:25
Speaker
That's what we want to do, right? I mean, there's no ifs, ands, or buts. We you use it to fuck. I mean, men use power fuck. menus power to fuck I mean, what was it? Scarface. I said it best. First, you get the money.
00:35:40
Speaker
Then you get the power. And then you get the women. Yeah. I mean, it's, you know, ABC, one, two, three, Michael Jackson, all the kids. So we did first you get the women.
00:35:54
Speaker
Then you lose the power. Then you have no money. oh we did it backwards. I took 10 years to make that kid. That's why it took 10 years. Get some more of that Buchanan's, buddy. You want some more?
00:36:10
Speaker
No, I got that. Jim Bean, I'm going to finish this part up for you.
00:36:15
Speaker
So, what's this episode about? This episode's about a film festival. So, we're I didn't know how much we should... ah talk about what we're doing because I figure we got to keep some of this well we got to keep most of this I'm sure in secret and um anonymous because I mean we're judges in a film festival and well there you go we should just statement and just said leave it at that um Steven if you listen to our episode where Steven Arrapez was on I'm guessing it's a two-parter I'm pretty sure it's a two-parter yeah um go back and listen to that essentially we were hanging out and then we were like hey why can't we be judges for the Temecula Film Festival
00:37:01
Speaker
Okay, Tom's admitting to everything that we're a part of here. He's judging, um or he is one of the co-runners, co-conspirators, hosts.
00:37:13
Speaker
He's one of the organizers. He's one of the guys doing the thing with, let me give the name, Jeremy Allen Pappas. Yeah.
00:37:25
Speaker
Jeremy Allen Pappas and Stephen Arpiz are kind of like the co-hosts of the Temecula Valley Film Festival, which runs every year in October. And I don't want to say what we judged, what type of films. No, but we were given five short films. Okay, that's what i was going didn't want to say. We were given five short films to watch and judge.
00:37:45
Speaker
Because we were like, hey, we know films. All we do is watch movies. All we do is talk about movies. Give us some movies. We'll talk about them. We'll judge them. We'll figure it out. And so we were given the link to five short films directed by five filmmakers.
00:38:00
Speaker
I'm guessing in the IE area. I do not know if that's where they originated from or not. um But we were given five films and we watched them and we were had we were asked to review them. Yeah.
00:38:12
Speaker
And not necessarily review them, but rate them on a score from one to five. will not give you the name of those films because I want you to go to the Temecula Valley Film Festival, which will start on October 17th and it ends on October 19th. We should ask them if they go online because they should do that, right? Like an online.
00:38:34
Speaker
I have no idea. Yeah.
00:38:37
Speaker
But Steve and I were given a list of links, and we watched the films, and we rated them. And this episode is going to be about us talking about that. yeah I mean, we talked about a whole lot before that, but this is what the episode is about.
00:38:49
Speaker
Yeah, and we won't go into the films or the specifics of them, but more of just the process. so Well, for instance, one of the things I discussed was the necessity to keep the judging secret.
00:39:03
Speaker
And as I was thinking about this more... I think you do kind of have to keep the judging anonymous, like who's judging it to an extent, because i think you need to allow the judges to have the latitude to to judge it fairly and appropriately. like You don't want to feel… ah you're such a coward. Come on, dude. I don't give a fuck if they know.
00:39:33
Speaker
You know what? Hold on. Let me say one thing. And this is what I thought about. and this is why this came into my ratings. I thought… i'd seen so I've seen some really great short films.
00:39:45
Speaker
I've seen some absolutely magnificent short films. Some bangers. And I'm not going to judge these any less or better just because it's a local film festival, just because we know the guy that runs it or co-runs it or whatever the fuck Steven actually does for the film festival.
00:40:03
Speaker
I think he's one of the co-founders slash creators of the festival entirely. um don't care. I wanted to judge the films on the films themselves. I don't know the backstory of how any of the films were made.
00:40:18
Speaker
i don't know any of that. I just was sent a link and a password and I watched the films and it was either good or bad. Most of them were awful. Damn, that Jim B makes you fucking angry, bro. most of them Most of them, to be fair, were awful.
00:40:34
Speaker
And i will talk um we will talk about this. We won't list any of the film names. But we will talk about each of the films. So let me kind of run this a little bit.
00:40:45
Speaker
Because I covered this last week. And it left me with a lot of just thoughts. Because, you know, this is our first time being judges on a film festival. And so I think there are things to consider. Only time.
00:40:59
Speaker
And probably last time. But there are certain things to be considered, right? And for instance, when I was speaking about secrecy, I think part of it is also the backlash.
00:41:11
Speaker
You know, for instance, what credentials do we have? In a sense, right? And then that could come into question. Like, well, you're having just these two random losers, right?
00:41:22
Speaker
who made a film called Dickhead judging my film, you know, that that could be backlash for the organization. I don't know. I mean, we know and we know a lot. You know a lot. You're like a historian.
00:41:35
Speaker
so no so but you know I
00:41:41
Speaker
Well, yeah, you watch a lot of films. watch Dead Before Dawn, you know? Yeah, and you've also seen Come and See. You've also seen Balthazar. You've also seen… oh I've seen a lot of movies, buddy.
00:41:52
Speaker
You've seen like… That's why I rated these so harshly because… Or so… Not harshly, appropriately. Well, that's what I want to get into after this. but Please. But, you know, you've seen a lot of films. So, you do have a background, a very strong background.
00:42:07
Speaker
But I think there's a necessity to keep things a little more in secrecy just for the – because also you don't want the judge to be influenced by the filmmakers, right? You don't want like – let's say you know someone.
00:42:24
Speaker
Well, I will say this our episode will probably most likely be released before the film festival comes out. Let's literally say you know someone whos who made one of the films.
00:42:37
Speaker
That's a huge conflict of interest, in my opinion. Is that actually going to play out? I don't know. I don't know how any of this works. This is my first time. Maybe because I mentioned Sundance.
00:42:51
Speaker
Do some of those judges probably run rub shoulders with these filmmakers? I would imagine so. I don't imagine they're on the complete outside and outside of that bubble. So you kind of want to have a little bit of that secrecy.
00:43:06
Speaker
Also for the backlash, like if I was to get judged and I don't feel like the judges are qualified enough, I would have a lot of issue with that.
00:43:20
Speaker
And then within like sport... Can you describe a little bit what do you mean by qualified? and Yeah, like... Is this person, for instance, within filmmaking, is this person a filmmaker?
00:43:33
Speaker
Have they made films? Have they gone to school and studied this? Are they educated in the topic? Like if I'm just being judged by some random Joe Schmo, who's maybe like a city council member or maybe mayor of Temecula, do I really want the mayor of Temecula to judge my film?
00:43:52
Speaker
and But that's like a big figurehead who maybe could be asked to be a judge. And that's fair, right? like The Mayor Temecula's favorite film is probably inter Interstellar. That fucking loser. Exactly. That fucking loser.
00:44:07
Speaker
So if your favorite film is Interstellar, stop listening to this podcast right now. I fucking hate you. And I think I also see that a lot in combat sports. Like they'll talk about the judges and they'll give their names. But then they never really mention the judges' names after that.
00:44:21
Speaker
It's just the judges scored it this way. Daniel Poirier, right? Poirier. Poirier, he's one of the judges. Probably, but he knows Daniel Poirier. Who the fuck is that? David Poirier, Dave Poirier. Oh, Dave Poirier whatever, that right winger fucker.
00:44:39
Speaker
Oh, no, that's the guy that me reviews pizza. who's it i'm thinking I'm trying to think of the Joe Rogan guy. He's like a kid... He was a fighter, but he got his ass beat too many times, and then he became... Brandon Schaub?
00:44:53
Speaker
No.
00:44:55
Speaker
Eh, I don't know. But still, like, you you see a lot of these judges... I'm sorry. Dave Poitier is like pizza re reviewer. And they keep a certain amount of them... um kind They kind of keep it a little secret, even though I think they have to be open about it for probably legal reasons.
00:45:15
Speaker
But it is kind of kept secret so that... The judges aren't harassed. You know? Oh, Daniel Cormier. Oh, DC. Yeah, he's awesome. He never got his ass beat. He's like literally one of the greatest fighters ever.
00:45:28
Speaker
Well, he's a fucking reviewer now. He's a bitch. No, he's not. He works for the UFC. He's a commentator. Exactly. He's a bitch. He wrestles. ah While you say that to him, ain't. I fight him. Bring him on.
00:45:40
Speaker
but i fight him. I'll take that bet. For the views.
00:45:45
Speaker
but I lay on him.
00:45:48
Speaker
DC's a big boy, dude. He might be bigger than you. He's going to lay on you. but i got him, buddy. But he'll wrestle you. You have a good time. I listen to Lord of the Rings. I know how to fight.
00:45:59
Speaker
But, you know, I think there needs to be, i don't think a certain amount of of secrecy is bad with judging. You know, especially as you get into smaller events, like let's say for the state fair.
00:46:18
Speaker
Right? The state fair. No, but seriously, I mean, because I gave that as an example because i used I think I submitted photos once for the county fair and I don't know who I'm getting judged by.
00:46:31
Speaker
And that might not be very fair. Ansel Adams, that's for sure. Exactly. It ain't Ansel Adams. And that's who I want to judge my photos. I don't want no fucking stay-at-home mom who ain't ever seen a photograph outside of what she sees on Instagram judging my photos.
00:46:49
Speaker
So that's that's kind of what I meant by the secrecy of it all. That ain't us. No, I don't think that is us. But, you know... You want to, as, let me ask you this.
00:47:05
Speaker
With Dickhead, submitting into these festivals, we're going to be reviewed by just who knows who to see if we even get accepted. Do you want that person reviewing your film to know something about film?
00:47:19
Speaker
No. You don't want them to know anything about film? No. and Nothing. You didn't know. I want them to never have seen 8 1⁄2. I want them to know. and want them to say, Antonioni? Who's that?
00:47:32
Speaker
That's what I want. I want them to say, oh my favorite movie is Dawn of the Dead, directed by... But who the fuck directed the sequel? Uh, Jesus.
00:47:43
Speaker
Zack Snyder, right? Like, I want that to be the guy that watches Dickhead. I don't want the guy that watches Dickhead to be the guy that's like, you know what? I have studied for years watching, ah you know, uh, the begotten watching, um, you know, like, uh, like Herzog's earlier films, earlier works, uh,
00:48:06
Speaker
like ah I don't want that because that's not us, man. Holy shit, that's not us. um I doubt anyone has seen a Herzog film other than i fucking any Herzog films.
00:48:24
Speaker
um I imagine most of the judges, right? like they're I wasn't joking when I said their favorite films are Interstellar. Oppenheimer, like some fucking shitty Nolan movie, right? Like, oh, Inception, it's so deep. It's like, yeah, sure, sure, sure. It's deep.
00:48:45
Speaker
Have you seen Have Hazu Balthazar, whatever the fuck, We Hazard Balthazar, whatever the fuck, how you ever say that title? It's like, holy shit, have you seen La Aventura by Michael Antonioni? Yeah.
00:48:59
Speaker
That was with the motherfuckers I was scared of. I ain't afraid of the motherfucker whose favorite movie Rocky. Whose favorite movie is Inception.
00:49:10
Speaker
So Tom's a bit drunk. So let me ask you this. So I stated my opinion on secrecy ah for judging and keeping it a bit ambiguous to who's doing that. what do you How do you feel about that?
00:49:25
Speaker
I don't think it should be ambiguous. I think it's nice to know. um I kind of talked about it while you had stepped out where like it was like... I don't want the guy that has seen La Aventura to watch my movie.
00:49:41
Speaker
But where are those people? I want the guy that has seen ah Oppenheimer to be like, oh, yay. That's so good. No, I want Alex Duarte to be the guy. I want Alex Duarte who's seen the Hellraiser 95 times.
00:49:56
Speaker
I want the guy that's seen The Shining 600 times. I don't want the guy that has seen the original Nightmare Alley. i No. Don't watch my movie, you fuck.
00:50:09
Speaker
I don't want the guy that has seen those movies to be on my film. Are you kidding? i want the guy that these films were made for. The five films in this fucking category were made for. Not us, man. Not not necessarily us in a degree because...
00:50:29
Speaker
you think we are holding We hold ourselves accountable to the fucking greatest filmmakers that have ever fucking put film on solenoid, man. You think we're too judgmental?
00:50:40
Speaker
We're too judgmental. We're too experienced. We're too knowledgeable to be able to objectively identify anything as good. That is dog shit.
00:50:51
Speaker
um i mean I mean, don't get me wrong. You were worried about it. You even asked the question a thousand times. You asked it maybe not a thousand times, but you definitely asked the question of Stephen Arpiz. You were like, hey, how are we supposed to judge these films? What if none of them are a five?
00:51:08
Speaker
None of them are five. None of them are close. I gave one a four just because I felt bad because it was it it was a three until I watched the other films, and then I gave it a four because I was like, okay,
00:51:22
Speaker
Well, see, that leads me into this next part because- Take it away. You know, when you said you bumped it up, that means you're viewing it through a specific lens that then establishes parameters that then dictate how you're going to judge it.
00:51:35
Speaker
Because- The Red Balloon is a short film. Hold on. Because if you judge it fairly- It's a three. The Red Balloon is a short film. That's a masterpiece. That's a five, in my opinion.
00:51:47
Speaker
yeah Are any of these that? Not even close. Not even. Dude, they don't even breathe the same air. Not even remotely close. But, again, within the lens we're viewing this from.
00:52:01
Speaker
So, I guess, let me ask you this. Because i had a lot of trouble, and that's why I was messaging Steven a lot, like, how should I view this?
00:52:12
Speaker
Because if I'm viewing it from the lens of shoestring budget filmmakers who don't have any money and they're just trying to put cobble something together...
00:52:26
Speaker
I'm not going to be as harsh if there's like some bad cutting, if there's bad music, if there's bad set design. You know what I'm saying? like Jesus Christ, Tom's so drunk.
00:52:40
Speaker
Don't puke. No, I'm good. But you know what i'm saying? like if If I'm viewing it from our level… then I'm going to give us a lot more leeway.
00:52:51
Speaker
Whereas if I'm viewing it from the red balloon level, well then, I mean, so many of these are going to be zeros. I reviewed this as red balloon level.
00:53:04
Speaker
And that's why I gave so many ones. i How many ones did you give? Three. Because there were five films, right? Three. There were five films? No. Two ones. There were five films in total?
00:53:15
Speaker
Two ones. I gave, okay, there were five films total. I gave two ones. like two I gave two ones. One two, one three, and one four. I gave two ones, one three, one four, and one five.
00:53:28
Speaker
gave five? Yeah. But I was viewing it within the lens of... I absolutely don't think any single one of these was five. Well, if a five is a masterpiece, no.
00:53:39
Speaker
But to me, a five... I don't think a five is even a masterpiece. I think a five is just... Every element of the film was just on point. A five would be um Smack My Bitch Up, the music video.
00:53:58
Speaker
I like how you look at me like, you know what I mean, right? You know what I'm talking about. You've seen the music video. It's a first person POV music video. Smack My Bitch Up.
00:54:10
Speaker
Oh, yeah. That's a who's a band?
00:54:16
Speaker
Who is a band? Smack my bitch up. It's not Thievery Corporation. Not at all.
00:54:27
Speaker
Is it Apex Twins? Yes, maybe. Prodigy. Prodigy. What? That's who did it? Yeah.
00:54:38
Speaker
Okay, well... Yeah, that's a pretty fucking cool one.
00:54:43
Speaker
But... So I'm viewing it within the lens of the context of what's being submitted. And so there were fives within that scope for me.
00:54:55
Speaker
Not for me. None of them were that good. So...
00:55:02
Speaker
Well, for me... If I was a director, i would have cut... I wouldn't even have allowed them to be in my film festival. Well, every every short film is going to be rough... To an extent, you know, if it's not rough. disagree.
00:55:14
Speaker
But hold on, let me put it this way. If it's not rough, then what's it doing in a film festival?
00:55:22
Speaker
I think there are places for film festivals, are for shorts to be good.
00:55:28
Speaker
um I don't think they're just necessarily training grounds for feature filmmakers. They are. no i don't I don't think that's true. Red Balloon exists.
00:55:40
Speaker
Hold on. But as a first-time filmmaker, where are you where are you getting your audience from? You're trying to establish them in a film festival.
00:55:51
Speaker
Yes. Because if if you're not, you're in a fucking theater. You got actual funding. My problem is a lot of these films look like they were made with some budget. No, they were. but And I bet some of these movies were made for more than Dickhead. Entirely.
00:56:07
Speaker
almost said the name of a title of one of the films. But there is a film that is that was sent to us. It was listed among one of the films that is...
00:56:21
Speaker
Was to be judged. And it is a film that has a very famous B scream queen actress involved. um I guess I can say her name but because it won't necessarily. Just say it has an actor.
00:56:36
Speaker
Yeah. It has a known actor. It has a, not even a known actor, but a very known actor for people who watch movies that like me. Well, I didn't know who it was. She's in a film called Chopping Mall. She's in a film that I love. She's in a lot of films that I like. I didn't know who it was. That I appreciate. And I've seen Chopping Mall. That's with the robot, right?
00:56:54
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. That movie was cool. Yeah. Fuck Fuchsia. It's Friday. I love Chopping Mall. I fucking love that movie. Trust me. I understand my shit.
00:57:05
Speaker
Okay? I understand garbage cinema. I understand it so good. That when I see it... QT, I'm not judging your knowledge, okay?
00:57:15
Speaker
Trust me. When I say garbage is garbage between... x There is stuff that assumes itself among the garbage to become great.
00:57:28
Speaker
Your evil deads. Yeah. Your intruders. Oh, shut up, dude. Because if someone submitted the evil dead to this film festival, you would give it a two.
00:57:40
Speaker
No. Yes, you would, you little hater. Yes, you would. Yes, you would. To be fair, these are short films. Evil Dead is a feature. Even if Evil Dead was a short film, you would still give it a two. Because you know what?
00:57:55
Speaker
You know what? And this is true. We're pretentious motherfuckers who just hate on shit. That's not fair. No, no, no, no. We start off first. no listen I gave it a four. Listen. Ew.
00:58:06
Speaker
Listen. God damn it. We can't say the names.
00:58:11
Speaker
I'm just saying, I gave the first movie i watched a four. Listen, we start off, this is our vantage point. We start off in the negative. And people have to earn their way to the positive. Yes.
00:58:24
Speaker
no we never we are Not true. No, no, no, that's true. we No, no, no, no. Everyone gets, no, no, no, stop, stop, stop. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. we never thought We never start at neutral. No, no, no, wait.
00:58:35
Speaker
Everyone gets one point because they finished. That's my, that's my starting point. Yeah. a One point's an F, bro. You finished. One point's still an No, but that's, but that is, that eliminates many motherfuckers. Okay, let me ask you this.
00:58:50
Speaker
You didn't want to give any of them a zero. I gave none a zero. You didn't want to give any a zero. I wanted to. Okay, and I wanted to too. So I didn't count the three of them.
00:59:00
Speaker
I didn't count. wanted to give a zero. I didn't count the fact that they had finished.
00:59:06
Speaker
That was a slight at me, wasn't it? It was because i don't fucking see this after this. You do.
00:59:18
Speaker
You dickhead, dude. You're fucking Kevin. I wish he got laid. Well, so did you, buddy. I can prove it at least twice.
00:59:32
Speaker
You said you weren't going puke.
00:59:36
Speaker
Do not puke. I'm not going to puke. You're going to have to use our bathroom and Sylvia's asleep in there. No. I'm good.
00:59:47
Speaker
Look. Here's my thing. We'll get into it. I think we get into it.
00:59:55
Speaker
Can I say this first? so I wanted to give every film its best shot. Can you stop hitting the mic? Dude, that shit's banging everywhere, dude.
01:00:06
Speaker
Stop touching. Look, i I guarantee. I'm watching it. I guarantee. I'm going to have to fix that low end. Just let it happen. Look. That's easy for you to say. Don't.
01:00:19
Speaker
There ain't nobody listening. Don't do that, Steven. Don't. Don't do that. All right. My feet are away from the thing. Thank you. So let me just say this. We were presented with five films.
01:00:32
Speaker
I only thought two were worth it. One, i think you hated. And I knew you were going to hate it as soon as I watched it. I knew you were love it. Okay, we're going to cut here. Which one was that?
01:00:44
Speaker
Nah, let's not do that. Fair. um So I will say the majority of the films left a lot to the imagination. And that's a bad thing?
01:00:56
Speaker
Yes, because short films, I think, are where you capitalize on imagination. Short films are are the but medium... But can you afford the imagination? Yes.
01:01:08
Speaker
Oh, yeah, these films weren't cheap.
01:01:12
Speaker
I bet a lot of these short films, when you calculate budgets, probably equal either close to or what Dickhead might have been. No, there's definitely some that surpassed us.
01:01:24
Speaker
In the cost, yes.
01:01:28
Speaker
um I will say there were some films where I was like, so you were able to get like these kind of locations. You got these big, very expensive looking set pieces.
01:01:42
Speaker
but That was all you had. Shit. The...
01:01:47
Speaker
shit the yeah So there's one film in particular I really want to talk to you about. And it's the film about the guy that sells his company to get... That's too much info.
01:02:02
Speaker
No way. No way. There's one film you want to talk to me about and I know which one you're talking about. Yes. We'll leave it at that. Sure.
01:02:12
Speaker
It was the film that I think was kind of like the turning point for me. Because i think... That's so funny because I thought that was one of the stronger ones. And... I hate it. I have a follow-up question when you're done.
01:02:24
Speaker
Please. Do you want ask it now? Yeah. So, when viewing these five films, obviously, we're there to be critical. I don't know how many film festivals are short film screenings you've done.
01:02:38
Speaker
I've done a few. I've done maybe like five or six where it's like, hey, sit down, watch these short films. And most of them are really bad. Really bad.
01:02:49
Speaker
um But you know, with like this lineup, even if I wasn't vibing with the film as an art piece, I was really liking the lineup.
01:03:01
Speaker
I thought it was a pretty cool lineup. It kind of made me think of VHS, for lack of a better word. It was like, let me just sit down and watch these kind of cool little short films. And I was really digging the lineup. Like I thought, like I was, because Steven picked these films to then go into the category to be judged, right?
01:03:21
Speaker
and i don't I don't know if they include other stuff or whatever, but I was like, dude, I really dig this lineup that he picked. Like, even if I'm not vibing with it and it's not getting me, I still appreciate the selection.
01:03:39
Speaker
You know what i'm saying? Yeah. And so, how did you feel? Did...
01:03:45
Speaker
Regardless of how good they were, did you feel like it was a good ah curation? No. Curating of short films? No. so So the Temecula Valley Film Festival missed it?
01:03:57
Speaker
Is that what you're saying? Because also, you know, I think this is another issue that Stephen discussed was the fact you're limited by your submissions. Right. Like, if you got to pick the five best films and you get 10 that are absolutely dog shit, well, you still got to pick the five best of those, right?
01:04:19
Speaker
For me, only two of the five were worth anything. Really? Damn, dude. you That's so funny because you know you're always like, ah, Steven's a pretentious asshole. and we've completely we've completely shifted, man. We shifted. i mean, and I'm fine with that because I'll take it and I will defend it till the fucking day I die.
01:04:42
Speaker
Because three of these films sucked so much dick. No. I would rather have done anything else. I would rather have fucking cleaned my toilet seat. I would rather have done anything other than fucking watch these movies.
01:04:55
Speaker
I fucking hated them that much. No. I won't lie. I fucking did not like them. There's only one that I know you absolutely didn't like. and There's two. We are in agreeance with the one. Yeah.
01:05:07
Speaker
And it starts with an M and ends with
01:05:12
Speaker
I fucking hated a piece of shit. I hated it. I fucking hated it. Because look, I think about um what films could have been in this place.
01:05:23
Speaker
Jog and Night. But they're not. No, no, Stop. I think about
01:05:32
Speaker
other films in general. um When I think, oh, you're going to have an audience of human beings. Sitting in a theater.
01:05:43
Speaker
Watching this movie. Play out on the screen. Yeah. Whatever you got to bring me buddy. Whatever. I'm drinking. but And my problem is. is like Okay.
01:05:59
Speaker
One. Was short. Perfect to the point.
01:06:07
Speaker
It didn't fuck around. It wasn't this superfluous garbage bullshit.
01:06:16
Speaker
And that was one of the films. The other film, you could tell it had value. it was kind of like working towards something. the bigger picture, sure.
01:06:30
Speaker
Maybe there's something more there to
01:06:36
Speaker
Work with. Money was spent to make this. A better picture. but Three of the. film Films I felt.
01:06:51
Speaker
It didn't necessarily matter. How much money was spent.
01:06:57
Speaker
They were just so bad. That it was like. ah A real shame. And it was a real shame that they were so bad because it's not like they had no value.
01:07:09
Speaker
um That's so stupid to think that a film has no value. I watched all of these films from from fucking point A to point B and B is the end. a is the start.
01:07:23
Speaker
I watched them all. Um...
01:07:30
Speaker
You know, I feel like there were films that were okay. And it feels disingenuous to completely shit on them. But in in the like grand scope of what it means to be a film, what it means to be a filmmaker, these films fucking were garbage.
01:07:50
Speaker
They were complete garbage. I wanted so much more out of these goddamn films. But i got nothing. There's a film... And Steven talks about it.
01:08:03
Speaker
Wow. has a higher regard than I do. um let me look at what what the film was. I think the lens is much different than you.
01:08:18
Speaker
I want to talk about... Oh, yeah. So there's a film that will be showed. i think everyone, if you listen to this podcast, you have no excuse to go to the Temecula Film Festival.
01:08:34
Speaker
um The 18th, 19th, and the 20th, I think most of the films that we saw will be showed on the 19th.
01:08:45
Speaker
And you'll see a film called Golden Ears.
01:08:50
Speaker
Now don't get me your wrong, ****. stop hitting the godd damnn mic
01:08:57
Speaker
Golden Years is a film about a man who accidentally murders another man. Well, it's not quite clear if he knows, right? No, he knows.
01:09:10
Speaker
I feel like it's so clear. He knows he killed. he knows he hit something. He knows he hit the guy. And it's so badly done. Oh, my God. It's so bad.
01:09:24
Speaker
It's so badly done. God, just give me like five minutes with that guy. Give me five minutes with it. I'll fix him. Maybe it's my hubris.
01:09:35
Speaker
My hubris. Speaking here. Maybe it's my... ah
01:09:42
Speaker
That was my favorite film. Nah, it's so bad. It's so bad. was... That's funny because that was my favorite. It was so dog shit because of the writing.
01:09:57
Speaker
Because of the writing. There were weak points like with the whole situation that occurred, yeah. Sometimes I feel like I think about these films and I think um the problem is is I can't ah can't separate myself from these movies.
01:10:17
Speaker
But don't you think... Okay, let me ask you this. Hold on, hold on, hold on. As a judge... Give me one second.
01:10:25
Speaker
so i'm watching I'm watching these movies. There's five films. I'm watching them in order. The first one was the best. it was like WH.
01:10:37
Speaker
Don't say names. No, you're fine.
Film Judging: Bias and Methodologies
01:10:39
Speaker
Let's just leave it in. ah No, we're going to delete all this. No, no. i got I got to bleep it out. I'm going to bleep it. Okay, the first the first movie I watched, it was five minutes and 40 something seconds.
01:10:53
Speaker
And it was fucking goddamn. It was so tight. It was great. Great. But it had no story. It did. ah it didn't. It was so it was the bit the story was so obvious. The story was so simple.
01:11:07
Speaker
It was simple and perfect. It was executed and in a way I knew what was happening. I knew where it was going and I was so happy where it went.
01:11:19
Speaker
And then everything else just fall so far from that. And there was a film about a guy who accidentally murders a guy on a boat.
01:11:32
Speaker
Is that okay?
01:11:35
Speaker
Look, bro. You judge films like a man who has a long commute. just Just let give me this. Let me ask you this. No, no, no. no no Ask. Okay.
01:11:47
Speaker
Let me ask you this. So as a judge, How much of your bias do you think you should remove? None. Zero. I think I was pretty fucking fair.
01:11:59
Speaker
Why are you looking at me dead in the eye and saying that? Because they're fucking shit. Do you understand? of these movies sucked ass. They were so fucking bad. see your levels clipping, right?
01:12:11
Speaker
They're not clipping. One of them did. You understand what I'm saying? Yeah. Look. I see these films.
01:12:23
Speaker
It was an interesting introspective because I watched them all and I fucking tried so hard.
01:12:33
Speaker
I tried so fucking hard. didn't. Yes, I did. you didn't. You damn liar. From the fucking dumb. Oh, I sold my company, but I'm not the biggest guy. Oh, I'm going to murder my fucking family because I'm so sad. oh oh I'm so sad because they murdered my mom. oh Can I ask you that as an aside?
01:12:56
Speaker
Sure. Silver ****. The company killed his mom, right? Absolutely. Okay. Okay. It was, yeah, without a doubt. Without a doubt. Without a zero doubt.
01:13:10
Speaker
dick That dick than I've seen in my entire life. I've been to a gay bar. Than all the gay bars you've been to. That movie we sucked so much. I don't know why it was fucking featured.
01:13:22
Speaker
I get it. Look, I get it. You're way too harsh. No, no, no. No. If you had if there was a Thomas Casper Film Festival, there would be like no films. The festival is canceled again this year.
01:13:35
Speaker
Nothing was good enough. That's not fair. That's very fair. That's very fair. Dude, that movie sucks. you would not allow a single film in your film festival. That's not true.
01:13:46
Speaker
But there's something to exclusivity. Like the short film we're talking about. There's something to the exclusivity. you i would want hear you talk i want to hear you talk about it. Your experience.
01:13:58
Speaker
Steven, hold on. Pause. Break. Are you ready, everybody in the audience listening to this? I've been talking about the film. So we we're given five films.
01:14:14
Speaker
oh my Two of them are okay. Three of them sucked ass. So fucking much ass. It's not even... It's like, Stephen, you allowed these to be... You made me watch these, you fuck.
01:14:30
Speaker
And he's not talking about this Stephen. No, you Stephen. Yeah. Stephen Tejas. You watched all five of these films.
01:14:41
Speaker
You don't like two of the films that I liked. So get me... like Tell me about... What was your experience? Well, I would say like isn't... Like didn't play a part of it.
01:14:54
Speaker
um Part of what I did was I grouped up categories and then I doubled them up because I didn't know how much... I didn't know the scope of what I was going to watch. So I doubled up on some categories to ah encourage more points, a larger point system to these films.
01:15:16
Speaker
Hold on. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Just to let everyone know. we were given a a Google Sheet, which was one out of five yeah plus comments.
01:15:28
Speaker
Yeah. So I wanted to remove myself as much as possible from this. Let me ask you this because this was one of my questions. Now, when I talk about that podcast. Please, please, please, please. When I talk about the podcast, I think I know how you judge.
01:15:44
Speaker
Like I developed a whole. Quality. what ah What is that? Was that quality? No. Good films? I developed a whole Kubrick. my ear is in the microphone. Kubrick? What that?
01:15:58
Speaker
What? I developed a- Speak up, please. God damn you. You're just- Nothing good? Oh, yeah. Why do you hate me? We're working together. I'm kidding. I developed this whole system in which to ah grade these films.
01:16:16
Speaker
And I surmised, I guessed, that you did not develop a... God, what's the word? i It's on the tip of my tongue. But I surmised you did not develop a system and what you grade these, that you simply watched these movies and you gave them a number. Am I correct?
01:16:36
Speaker
Very correct. Yes, I knew it. Let me tell you what happened.
01:16:42
Speaker
I popped some popcorn. My microwave. What kind of popcorn? Kettle corn or normal? Kerclan. Because I buy my popcorn from Costco because I'm poor. That was such a good answer.
01:16:56
Speaker
I'm poor, but i'm I'm not so poor that I can't afford Costco. was going to say, you can afford a Costco, so you ain't that poor. Two minutes, 37 seconds on my popcorn bag. And I watched this on the projector. My screen is so big. How excited were you to... yeah Very excited.
01:17:13
Speaker
I even brought Jake I said, Jake, you got to watch the movies. i'm gonna so I was invited to judge, to make judgment upon these films. So so ah great.
01:17:28
Speaker
So good. God damn. Wonderful. Many people. Maybe even 20 would watch these films. And I closed my eyes and I drank the whiskey and I drank the booze and I drank the whiskey and I ate a couple of mushrooms, maybe.
01:17:49
Speaker
You ate mushrooms? No. No. Get your hands off the table, dude. at The mic. Come on. You're fine. I didn't ate no mushrooms, but I drank some...
01:18:01
Speaker
I drank a lot. And then I ate some edibles. Okay. And then it was like, okay, we're going to start with boy was her whatever the fuck it is. but It's like got like a weird H. Go ahead.
01:18:16
Speaker
So...
01:18:20
Speaker
ah so I developed this system and watched the greatom. I figured you would not, and you would just go based off of the instinct of it, which I think is quite fair because you are very knowledgeable in films and you have a really great sense of where a film is lacking.
01:18:47
Speaker
And I think that At times you can be the most forgiving and at times you can be the most unforgiving. But in the appropriate ways.
01:18:59
Speaker
Whereas I am very forgiving and unforgiving and maybe the most inappropriate ways. Like I give a lot of films slack that don't deserve it. And you give a lot of films slack who do who do deserve it.
01:19:14
Speaker
I'll admit to that. So that's why I wanted to develop my own system in which to grade these. And and i did that. And, you know, they said, do it one to five. So I was like, okay, well, I can't do a zero.
01:19:31
Speaker
So I have to give a one. And then I faced the other challenge of like, well, are you going to average this out amongst all the judges? You know, how they score it?
01:19:43
Speaker
Because, or should I like have a clear winner within the categories? And as I went through the films, I felt like I had some clear winners. I felt very impressed with two of the later films.
Short Films: Length and Impact
01:20:00
Speaker
The film you liked the most, I was just like, hill no, this is so bad. like You're getting this person to do that for this? i want to talk about that, actually.
01:20:12
Speaker
It was just like… No, seriously. No, no, no. Yeah, I am. It was like, you went there with this. No. you But you have but but you you have to appreciate no no no the fact that it was the only film. Stop. no stop stop up Listen to me now.
01:20:30
Speaker
i wait No, no, no. Listen to me now. Because you always talk about having to earn it. Yes. You got to earn it. And they didn't earn it. They just did it. Oh, but they did. They just did it.
01:20:40
Speaker
They just did it in five fucking minutes and you went with it. You went with it because it was so fucking short and your fucking attention span could contemplate anything longer than You could have contemplated anything like Bullshit. fuck i got challenge it more than I challenge anything. You were just distracted by what was on the screen. I knew exactly what was happening the second time.
01:21:05
Speaker
the fucking title was given to me. I knew what the fucking film was. then I knew what it was. that even good? that Yes, yes, yes. Because, look, I tapped on my screen. you see those waveforms? Look, I did.
01:21:19
Speaker
But look, Steven, look, listen. Listen, and please. I'm not even talk we talking. We're talking about who...
01:21:28
Speaker
However you fucking say that fucking film. But listen to me. It was five minutes. It was so goddamn tight. It was perfect.
01:21:39
Speaker
You knew it. You knew what was happening. Don't tell me you didn't. Don't tell me you didn't know what the fuck was going on. Every little bit of that film. No, no, no. Look, listen.
01:21:51
Speaker
it was It was gross. was It was nasty. They probably would never make it anywhere in a film festival.
01:22:02
Speaker
Anywhere else. But the Temecula Valley Film Festival, it probably would have been in the dr green but yeah as does a brain yeah ah Green Jack Bear Valley Film Festival. No, Big Bear.
01:22:18
Speaker
Big Bear Film Festival. Which we didn't get to go to, and I'm very upset about that. Yeah, because friend of ours, she's got cross-eyed felly face. She's cross-eyed.
01:22:29
Speaker
Blindsided was there at the Green Jack Film Festival. We didn't make it. But you know what? September, like I said in my solo podcast, is for December lovers.
01:22:41
Speaker
Tough month. No kidding. But I'm dead fucking serious when I talk about this goddamn film. About this goddamn witch that ends up in the wrong house.
01:22:55
Speaker
Wrong situation. That was so cheesy, man. It was. But dude, yeah what? That was so cheesy. But it was so fast. It was so tight. Let me ask you this. Have you ever seen... You say you've seen a lot of short films.
01:23:07
Speaker
Have you ever gone to YouTube and seen Screamfest? No. yeah You haven't seen the Screamfest short films? No. Oh, you should. Never. They have a lot of good short films. But they're all horror-centric for Screamfest.
01:23:23
Speaker
And there's so many that are just like... Okay, we're watching this and then we're going to get to the twist. You know, it was always waiting for that twist. But it was so tight. It was so tight. You knew. You knew. No, it wasn't tight. You knew. Yes, you did. no, no. Listen to me. It wasn't tight. It was just short.
01:23:42
Speaker
No, it was tight. No, it was just short. And you would resonate with that if you were more sober. It was tight. No, it wasn't. No.
01:23:54
Speaker
I'll tell you. i will say i really loved the film selections that the Temecula Valley selected. I thought it was a very nice selection.
01:24:07
Speaker
And if I were to go to it, I would appreciate their selection because I think they have good taste. I do. Good taste. No, no, no. I'm not so in there.
01:24:20
Speaker
Jesus Christ. No. In there. You watched it. oh on God, it is so bad. Hold on, hold on, hold on. I'm not critiquing this as a judge. I'm critiquing this as an audience member.
01:24:32
Speaker
Please. And I would appreciate the selection. Our podcast is only for people. no one's If a single person that listens this episode actually goes to the Temecula, Phil Valley, Phil Festival, that's not Stephen Arpiz, you got to let us know. Because, look, listen.
01:24:51
Speaker
I don't think it's not worth it. I don't think it's not worth it. It's so worth it. Oh my God. You should go. At least to the Saturday show. Go to the Saturday show. The Saturday show is when all the best films will be shown.
01:25:06
Speaker
But, oh my God, there are some rough shows shit there's some rough shit to see. And you can get through it. I promise. We got through it, Stephen and I. We watched all these movies. We watched them all. We watched them all so much. Can you get off the mic?
01:25:24
Speaker
Can I ask you something? If I go with you on October 9th to see PTA, you down? Yes.
01:25:35
Speaker
I bought my ticket. What day is that? Wait, you only got one? It's Thursday. i thought you got two tickets. I'll buy you ticket right now. ah buy you ticket. Oh, you don't got to buy me a ticket. It's on Thursday? Yes.
01:25:47
Speaker
I might light a Karen and go.
01:25:51
Speaker
It's at 6.03, 6.30. but time What time would it end? Like 9? Yeah. yeah What time i will we be home?
01:26:00
Speaker
Midnight? I can't be home at midnight dude. I gotta be home at 10. I went to work.
01:26:08
Speaker
Because I'm very tempted to go oh shit he's got the bottle. can't I can't. I wish I could lie for you buddy. I mean you can lie if you want. Nah we shouldn't lie.
01:26:21
Speaker
Speaking of not lying. It's one battle after another. So we clearly we clearly did not agree on the films and their quality. So Hold on. hold on We did not agree on the films and their quality, and that's fine.
01:26:36
Speaker
That's why we're judges, right? Yes. We averaged it out, and that's what they're going to do, because I assume they have more judges for the short films than just us two. So bad, I'm guessing. They got to have at least Steven and his buddy.
01:26:52
Speaker
The organizers. And that's good, right? Because we shouldn't dictate... brought it up. We shouldn't dictate what's good and what's not. We should. Eh, we shouldn't.
01:27:04
Speaker
It's... Everyone... Different strokes for different folks. Jeremy, I know that you want the best for the film, but you know what? Guess what? Jeremy Allen... Jesus Christ...
01:27:20
Speaker
please
01:27:25
Speaker
You have a 760... You have a 760 film. Area code. Guess what? The movies weren't good, man. They weren't.
01:27:37
Speaker
Two out of the five. Were maybe okay.
01:27:43
Speaker
And you can't deny... The fucking star power... Oh, you can't deny it. You can't.
01:27:55
Speaker
I get it. can't say no to that. Even though, i was it was the closest thing, fucking good as good could be, but you weren't close.
01:28:12
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Out of all the other films, ah, Five minutes and 46 seconds. Oh, I appreciate it. Oh, I love it. Oh, I respect the absolute fuck of it let like let me Let me say this.
01:28:31
Speaker
As the filmmaker with my films... I don't care how long my film is. It's going to be... Hold on, hold on, hold on. Shut the fuck up. Oh my God.
01:28:42
Speaker
This motherfucker made a jogging night. Shut up. Yeah, tell me. Tell me about it. lean Okay, hold on. No, you tell me. No, no, no. Stop, stop. You're going to tell me.
01:28:53
Speaker
So, Steven made a film called A Jogging Night. We worked very diligently, very difficult, very hard shoot. um And we worked on the shoot day and night.
01:29:08
Speaker
Many, many, many weekends we devoted to making this film. It was like a good month. Yet, it has yet to see the live day, which is fine.
01:29:22
Speaker
Dickhead took all the money, dude. Dickhead took all the money, sure.
01:29:27
Speaker
But this Little Red Riding Hood style story.
01:29:37
Speaker
I think about it because he's like, fucking sucks. No, no, no, no. Don't let, don't Steven.
01:29:49
Speaker
This appraise. What it is in reality. I watched all these films. I sat up and I thought, oh it's going to be such a cool little thing.
01:30:05
Speaker
It's be so fun. It's going to be so cool to watch these five short films made by people, human beings. I don't know that made these films. They fucking suck.
01:30:18
Speaker
They suck so much. They suck so bad. was so bad. so so can I stop, stop, stop, stop. Hold on. Hold on. Okay. Cause all you're just saying is they were all so bad.
01:30:30
Speaker
of them. Okay. There was only one that I or i feel like, it was like a, um, okay. So, so it was like on a guilt trip to give it a three. Well, regardless, you had a clear winner.
01:30:42
Speaker
Right? even Even if the scores don't reflect how you really feel, you had a clear winner. Yes. So let me ask you this, because as a filmmaker that's going to submit, I mean, the whole point of A Jog at Night was to kind of get that out ah ahead of Dickhead and then kind of test the waters and see what we need to do for Dickhead.
01:31:03
Speaker
You know, like Jog at Night was supposed to be the canary in the coal mine. And with that film, it's about 15 minutes long when it's going to be said and done.
01:31:15
Speaker
So as a judge, because we saw some film, but the majority of the films were around 15 minutes. And then there was one that was like 20 minutes, 25 minutes.
01:31:28
Speaker
Okay. I'll tell you right now. Hold on. Hold Hold But that's not my point. My point is, we saw these films that were longer and you were like, oh my god, they were too long. Fucking should have cut it down. And as a result, the film you liked the most was the shortest film.
01:31:43
Speaker
Yeah. So, as a judge, would you rather see a longer film or a shorter film? like Because it feels like the length of the films played a role in your judgments. Yeah.
01:31:58
Speaker
You're right. And the length of the film did play a huge judgment. The length of the film played a huge impact. ah shorter The shortest film, to me, scored the highest.
01:32:14
Speaker
You know we're going to play Shinobi. I don't care. The shortest film played the highest. um There's a film that is only 5 minutes and 46 seconds long.
01:32:28
Speaker
Yeah, and I think the longest film played the lowest for you.
01:32:34
Speaker
i mean, maybe the one we both disliked played the lowest, but I think the longest film was the same rating as the one both agree with. The Spoke was the absolutely longest movie. Yeah, it was. 21 minutes long. Yeah, and that was… hated it. That was the lowest for you, right?
01:32:51
Speaker
Hated it. Hated It was like one out of five. That's what I rated it. That's what I submitted it as. That's fine. I fucking hated that piece of shit movie.
01:33:03
Speaker
The guy that made it should fucking kill himself. Because I don't care. Because he's a piece shit filmmaker. The fact that he made, he got money to make this movie. And it was essentially three days at the Condor, but bad.
01:33:19
Speaker
I thought the game. Kill yourself. I thought the game. Right? The game.
01:33:26
Speaker
You fucking suck. You don't know how to write. don't know how to film. Did he write it? i don't know. Is he a he? I don't even know.
01:33:39
Speaker
But my spoke sucked.
01:33:43
Speaker
It sucked. No, so let me ask you though. and Tell me. let Let me ask you. As a judge, how much... How much did the time play on you? like Huge. like like Was that really a big issue?
01:33:59
Speaker
which it was. Okay, so what would your average time have been for these short films? Seven minutes. So then it's more of advantageous for filmmakers to make the shorter film?
01:34:12
Speaker
100% of the time. Because... because I will say, so every film that was more than seven minutes, which was four out of the five. Yeah.
01:34:28
Speaker
You kept shit in. That should have been cut.
01:34:34
Speaker
You want a short film. Right? You want a film that plays from A to B to C. I know you talked to us, but
01:34:50
Speaker
They even talked about **** maybe two or three times. just probably It is, without a doubt, the longest film we watched.
01:35:04
Speaker
And for me, it felt like the shortest film we watched. It's 17 minutes and 47 seconds. It's longer than that. No, Bespoke is... It's longer than that, but the Vimeo... Hold on, wait, wait, Hold on, the Vimeo included the credits. 21 minutes.
01:35:21
Speaker
I think it was... 21 minutes? I thought it was 25. It's 20 minutes... 21 minutes, 15 seconds long. Yeah. It's about a guy.
01:35:32
Speaker
Don't describe it. It's a film. LAUGHTER
01:35:39
Speaker
It's a film about a person that is unsure of his actions and the consequence consequences of his actions. Let me ask you this.
01:35:51
Speaker
So now after judging a film, yep but second specifically short films... Let's say you do another short film. ah Mr. Rico's On the Horizon to be a short film.
01:36:03
Speaker
Sure. Bobolowski's On the Horizon to be a short film. In my opinion, Bobolowski's like the last film I'll make if none of this pans out. And we're going to enter these films into film festivals, right? Because that's how we got to get noticed.
01:36:23
Speaker
Are you going to... And I think we need Stephen, the other Stephen, to kind of chime in on this because he's the event organizer to dictate like, yeah, a 15-minute short film fits in good within the time slots because that's a huge thing, right? like You got to have these films fit into a time slot to create an entire day.
01:36:45
Speaker
Yes. That's something for him to chime in on as a film festival organizer. But for you as a filmmaker, do you think with your films coming up that you're going to work on, are you going to aim for a shorter time? Are you going to just aim for like, hey, my film needs to be this length of time. And if you don't like you don't like it.
01:37:06
Speaker
But then as a judge, you see the consequences of that.
Editing Challenges in Filmmaking
01:37:10
Speaker
Oh, fuck. It has to be as short as humanly possible.
01:37:16
Speaker
What's the sweet spot you're shooting for? 15 minutes. But you only liked the five minute one. And you hated the ones that were 15. That's true.
01:37:28
Speaker
But boy, they were bad. so then So then how does that affect you as a filmmaker? That you have to do more with the time you're given? That you have to understand. Well, when you say time you're given. like no, no. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Let me say this. When you say that as the time you're given.
01:37:46
Speaker
As a filmmaker, you have no limitation on the time you're given. Like we kept complimenting the red balloon. The red balloon is 45 minutes or something like that. it's very close to fire the It's very close to being a feature length.
01:38:01
Speaker
Technically. And I don't think within the red balloon they cared about how long the film was. I think if you are and filmmaker making a movie in 2025 or whatever a year we're in. 2025 is the year I think it is. Yeah, that's the year we're in.
01:38:25
Speaker
If you make a movie more than 15 minutes, you're a piece of shit. Why? Because jog at 15 minutes. Listen. A jog at night's 15 minutes. ah jog at nights fifteen minutes There you go. I'm a piece of shit. 15 minutes. Perfect. But I'm a piece of shit for that?
01:38:41
Speaker
i didn't I said if you're making more than 15 minutes, you're a piece of shit. Why? Because, listen. If I'm 60 minutes, I'm a piece of shit? Yeah, you are. Why?
01:38:51
Speaker
Probably. Because, Jesus fucking Christ, dude. Have you seen the goddamn filmmakers that are making these goddamn films? They're putting money that we are making. The money that we are using to make a feature film, they're using to make short.
01:39:12
Speaker
But they can't cut it down. They can't use the story to make it tight. And that is where short filmmakers and feature filmmakers are different.
01:39:27
Speaker
Feature filmmakers know that you can't fucking waste the time. Every little second counts. Your hour and 29 minute film.
01:39:40
Speaker
That two minutes matters. You got to make that 90 minute film, right? Yes, you do. And when you look at a film like Metal or The Blue Diamond or Bespoke.
01:39:53
Speaker
Bespoke, come on. That movie is so dog shit. It wasn't. It really is. It really wasn't. I'm drunk. I'm sorry. That's fine, buddy. let might need to lay down for little bit.
01:40:07
Speaker
You're not going to puke, though, right? I don't think so. Are you done? I'm done. All right. Well... That movie sucked. That covers it for the feature films we did, or the short films we did.
01:40:24
Speaker
And, you know, there is a consideration for the Film length as the filmmaker because you want to get everything across that you're trying to accomplish as a filmmaker.
01:40:39
Speaker
And sometimes that is longer. But then when you're the judge and you're the audience watching the films, you don't necessarily want it to be that.
01:40:52
Speaker
So you like Tom said earlier, you got to get it as tight as possible.
01:40:58
Speaker
Because... The worst thing you can do as a filmmaker, and when I was judging these films, one of the worst things i wanted to do was just stop the film where it was and skip to the next one.
01:41:17
Speaker
Don't ever make the audience feel the time. If you make the audience realize how long the film is, you're probably doing something wrong.
01:41:31
Speaker
And when you're doing short films, you probably got to be a lot more tight on that. So
01:41:42
Speaker
with the short film, you got to be a lot more critical and you got to cut out all the shaft.
01:41:49
Speaker
And if you don't, you're going to be judged by us. And apparently, if you're judged by Tom, you're going to get a one. If you're judged by me, yeah, you might end up with the three.
01:42:03
Speaker
So, everybody, i hope you enjoyed listening to this. It was very insightful hearing from Tom. As always, um when you listen to the podcast when we're by ourselves, they kind of lack because we really need the dynamic of talking to each other.
01:42:24
Speaker
But, and this is just me talking now, but
01:42:31
Speaker
make it tight. Make every single second count. And every second that doesn't count, cut it out.
01:42:43
Speaker
Especially in short films, you can jump around and the audience can follow, i think, a lot more better. And there's a lot more leeway in a short film.
01:42:55
Speaker
And also, a short film can end a lot more abruptly. So utilize the time advantage that you have within the respect of the medium that you are ah creating for.
01:43:13
Speaker
So with that said, um don't let Tom and me judge you because Tom will be very brutal and I will be very brutal as well, depending on what you're doing.
01:43:30
Speaker
And that's when we just call a simple cut.