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Everything Action Commentary: Kraven the Hunter (2024)
26 Plays29 days ago
For the latest Everything Action Commentary, Zach and Chris hunt the final Sony's Spider-Man Universe film, Kraven the Hunter, with special guests Phil and Joe from Digital Pimp.
Aaron Taylor-Johnson stars as Sergei Kravinoff, who gains animalistic superpowers as a teenager via a serum that saves him from a lion mauling while on a hunt in Africa. Determined to fight against everything his gangster father, Nikolai (Russell Crowe), stands for, Sergei travels the globe putting criminals on his "list" and then killing them. He runs afoul of The Rhino (Alessandro Nivola) and The Foreigner (Christopher Abbott), who kidnap his half-brother Dmitri (Fred Hechinger). To track them down, Kraven enlists the help of Calypso (Ariana DeBose), who provided the serum that saved Sergei's life back in the day. While watching the movie, the guys comment on the seemingly endless origin story, The Foreigner's powers and lack of a comic-accurate costume, why Kraven suddenly needs a lawyer to help track criminals, disturbing CG faces, and more.
You can watch Kraven the Hunter on Netflix and sync it up to our commentary track to watch along.
You can follow Joe on X/Twitter @joedunn721 and Instagram @joerules
Follow Phil/Digital Pimp on X/Twitter @pimptour and Instagram @digitalpimponline. Check out the newly redesigned digitalpimponline.com for their comic series and their convention schedule for 2025.
We want to hear your comments and feedback. Send them all to contact@everythingaction.com. Also, let us know your suggestions for movies for us to discuss.
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Transcript
Introduction of Hosts and Guests
00:00:00
Speaker
and
00:00:25
Speaker
Hello and welcome to another Every Nation Commentaries, our commentary from March 2025. I'm your host, Zach. I'm your co-host, Chris.
Viewing 'Kraven the Hunter'
00:00:32
Speaker
And joining us, we have two special guests. We have Phil. Hello.
00:00:36
Speaker
And Joe. everyone. And we are this last time this group assembled, we watched Madam Web last year, and now we are watching another of the Sony Spider-Man universe. The last one, Kraven the Hunter, which came out in December last year.
00:00:54
Speaker
And yeah, end of the series. ah It was a boxless bomb. But ah it's it just hit Netflix. So that's why we're checking it out again. Well, most of us are checking it out again.
00:01:08
Speaker
of us checking it out again. of us have not seen it. We're heading into the expedition into the jungle of Netflix on The Hunt.
Initial Reactions to the Film
00:01:21
Speaker
But yeah, yeah we are we are paused at zero on Netflix, or or you can you get it some other way if you, for some reason, bought a Blu-ray or 4K of it for some reason, or if you rented it from somewhere else. But ah Netflix seems like the easiest way to do it now.
00:01:35
Speaker
But we are paused at zero right before the Sony logo. So i look at the countdown. We'll get started here. So five, four, three, two, one, play.
00:01:52
Speaker
So exciting. That's my favorite part. The Sony ding. Yeah.
00:02:02
Speaker
Then you enter the Sony-verse. Yep. Is that what that means? ah
00:02:17
Speaker
I think this this is the last one because December to have the 100 logo too.
00:02:24
Speaker
after that's 101 so they really try to rush this 101 no one cares
00:02:32
Speaker
so I don't know if you guys remember but um ah before this movie came out they released the first 8 minutes of this movie online on YouTube yep um and like I know Joe and I were like really excited to watch the first 8 minutes it's true they're like please please watch this and come see this movie
00:02:55
Speaker
i After we finished watching those first eight minutes, I was like, could we watch any other eight minutes? could like Is this what you really wanted to
Understanding Kraven's Character
00:03:03
Speaker
show us? like Sony was so confident in those eight minutes that they just released it.
00:03:09
Speaker
i was like I was excited about the movie, too. and i After finishing those eight minutes, I was like, is this really what's happening? I was not overwhelmed by it. I was bummed out.
00:03:22
Speaker
You know, they should have played it safe and just done an origin story in the beginning or something, but they really do the eight minutes of this where i understand who Kraven is, sort of. Like, it's too, like, you you can have to get, like, a first, like, a lot of people don't know Kraven the Hunter is unless you're, like, a big Spider-Man fan or, like, a gamer who's played Spider-Man games. so like, this is not the way to introduce him because you're just like, who is basically, like, the Baba Yaga over here?
00:03:48
Speaker
Yeah.
00:03:51
Speaker
well that's what I mean. That's why I was excited when saw it in theaters. I'm like, oh, they're kind like we're kind of excited because they're like, oh they're not doing like an origin. They're just like jumping in. He's already been craving to get around for a while. See what I mean? we'll get to it We'll get to it, but we'll get to It's like, no, we're going to do like 20 minutes of an origin later on. So get ready. Oh, God, it's out of order.
00:04:08
Speaker
yeah but You know I mean? Like, I'm seeing this and I'm like, oh, shit. This is like, if you think Craven the Hunter, it's like Bobby Yaga the Hunter, whatever. Like some European guy who like everyone fears somehow. You know, like, he's already coming up as a tough guy.
00:04:22
Speaker
just want to point out real quick um that there was no place to wash their hands. but o It's Russia. It's Siberia. It's real gross. Maybe one person goes out and grabs a handful of snow. Yeah, just slide the snow around.
00:04:43
Speaker
They call that a Serbian sunbath? I don't know. where what Is this Russia? I think it's supposed to be like Siberia or something.
00:05:00
Speaker
No, this is a Russian jail. Yeah.
Comparing Comic and Movie Origins
00:05:03
Speaker
So...
00:05:07
Speaker
Okay.
00:05:41
Speaker
so chris you you are a spider-man fan so you're you're a you're knowledgeable about craven is that correct yep so like i like my my conception of craven is that he's just a really good hunter is that the case in the comics He is, but then when they had to like spice him up later on, in his later like expansion, he made a deal with like this witch named Calypso to give him like this.
00:06:08
Speaker
To make it like a fair fight with Spider-Man. Because before, when he was introduced, he was just like the top hunter of the world. No powers. And then, it's like as they expand his character, they're like, a witch gave him powers! Like, alright, cool!
00:06:20
Speaker
Well, they're pretty big about it here, where it's like he just has like the power of like every animal.
00:06:29
Speaker
I mean, sort what ah like is Siegfried and Roy considered like Kravens? What's the power scale? No, they could just talk to animals. This guy can jump like animals.
00:06:41
Speaker
it's so It's such an interesting character to have someone who's just disciplined and like focused and just like trains his body to be the best hunter it can be.
00:06:53
Speaker
To introduce a witch is kind of ah bummer. yeah Like, oh yeah it takes all the interest out of that character, but I... i mean, what they do in this movie isn't isn't better. to be We'll see. go Oh, no!
00:07:10
Speaker
i I wish he was just a trained hunter and passionate about hunting. It makes sense, because it's like, he came from a lineage of hunters, so all they knew was, like, prey, and they'd prize it as, like, what they need to do to survive.
00:07:25
Speaker
But... It became crazier as the origins got retold over and over again. In this movie, he comes from a line of crazy witches, too. Oh, no! but A hunter fell in love with a witch and they made a Kraven.
00:07:41
Speaker
I mean, in the comic, it's like he gets powers later only because he has to take Spider-Man on as he gets like stronger. So like that's why the witch gets introduced to give him a power scaling.
00:07:55
Speaker
but even then, it's like not quite implied that it's like magic. He's just slightly stronger. You know what mean? like He's slightly stronger than what he was before. For someone who's not a mutant.
00:08:08
Speaker
I mean, no! This is his main power in the movie, is just like like jumping, climbing out of buildings. It's like his main power. yeah he's a monkey man?
00:08:19
Speaker
no but Whatever animal that is. Yeah, whatever What if he, like, running across the rooftop going, like a monkey throwing his poop? well What if he had to make the monkey sounds to do the monkey activities? And, like, later he has to make the crocodile sounds to do the crocodile sounds. Wait, Zach, wasn't there a TV show where, like, they the guy had to, like, summon the power of animals? Like, he was manimal or something? but He but yeah actually he turned into animals, though.
00:08:43
Speaker
He, like, physically turned into animals. But what's the difference between this and Manimal, then? Besides, like, if you visually see the difference. Because he's summoning the power of animals. Yeah. like i i wish i wish i wish hes I wish he said that, like, he had like, say what animal he was doing. Like, power of the gorilla!
00:09:01
Speaker
but yeah Strength of the lion! So, I never watched this movie, but, um... The movie with Rob Schneider called The Animal? this actually it?
00:09:13
Speaker
Kinda, yeah. Holy shit, you're right!
Family Dynamics and Character Development
00:09:15
Speaker
I watched The Animal! this is like This is like if The Animal was like a vigilante running around the world. Are we saying Kraven the Hunter is actually a sequel to The Animal?
00:09:25
Speaker
Like, it's a spiritual sequel set in the same animal universe? but His dad is Rob Schneider. Spoiler, sorry.
00:09:37
Speaker
Guys, now I have to re-watch The Animal. I hadn't thought about that in 20 years. You're welcome.
00:09:49
Speaker
Give a knowing nod to a wolf. So, like you like... I think this comes up a ah few times in this movie. um Like... Do the animals see them as...
00:10:04
Speaker
They're king? but he's He's got some way to like communicate with them, or like they sense that he like is like the alpha or something.
00:10:28
Speaker
Is he an escape plan guy, Zach? is Is he Salon from escape plan? Yeah. Just like slubs escape like prisons. I feel like he's more like um he's like Green Arrow from Arrow where he's just like he has a list of people he wants to murder and then he just like goes around killing them.
00:10:56
Speaker
So are we to believe this guy died with his dick out? Oh no. And dirty hands.
00:11:08
Speaker
he's dick down in the
00:11:14
Speaker
Craven.
00:11:21
Speaker
<unk>s It's such a bland title. It's not even like a new spot right there. all
00:11:30
Speaker
Buckle with Chris. but yess yeah So if you thought like, oh, it's interesting, they're goingnna like just like be like, they're just going jump in and going to be craving already. It's like, nope, here's like a full origin.
00:11:43
Speaker
I know it said 16 years later, but this origin sequence runs for 17 years. ah so Wait, was i got the clock was that the first eight minutes? Like, that was it?
00:11:55
Speaker
Yeah. was yeah and and Oh my god, no. Right? Like, if you saw that, you wouldn't be like... If you were Kraven the Hunter fan or someone that knew who Kraven Hunter was, like, you would... but Like, my reaction was, like, this does not represent the character. And it's not even that cool.
00:12:11
Speaker
Like, him jumping around, bending the bars, it's kind of cool, but it's not really, like... so cool. It's not unique enough where it's cool. Yeah. stand out yeah yeah I feel like they were really like leaning into like, Oh, this was our rated guys. Like, isn't that, isn't the Gordon gnarly? Like it's crazy.
00:12:32
Speaker
Speaking it crazy and gnarly. crazy I love Russell. He's pretty good in this movie. And I like, he's in a part of his career right now where he's choosing really goofy stuff. Like,
00:12:44
Speaker
I think anybody that'll let him do an accent, he's like, yeah, let's do it. man ah the but the pope's The Pope's Exorcist is a I love that movie. I am from Italy.
00:12:59
Speaker
ride a Vespa. but So I didn't know that the Pope's Exorcist and then that other movie that came out. I thought that was the sequel. And I didn't know that was like two different movies. It's like ah Deep Impact and Armageddon coming out at the same time. It's like Russell Crowe's in both of them. Like he made two movies about the same thing.
00:13:18
Speaker
Because I remember sitting there like, what happens with his Italian accent? ah Where's his Vespa? Well, The Pope's Exorcist implied there's like going to be 200 sequels because there's 200 demons loose. Did that movie do well? i know like I know it did well on Netflix when it came out, but it didn't do well in theaters. I think you're talking about at least like doing like a little bit.
00:13:37
Speaker
like I think you're talking a sequel. It's one more sequel, The Pope's Exorcist. that's fun. really liked that movie, actually. It was lot of fun.
00:13:53
Speaker
Speaking of Calypso. Yep. That's the witch. Just coming in hot. And why is she like a young girl?
00:14:06
Speaker
So, like, I've only ever read one story, one Spider-Man story with Calypso in it. And it's, I think, the story that everyone read because it sold a million copies. It's Spider-Man number one through whatever, six, maybe?
00:14:19
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah.
00:14:22
Speaker
That's the only story you've read with her in it? I guess I think so. It might be the only one I've done, too.
00:14:43
Speaker
What's the date on this day?
00:15:03
Speaker
See, this eight minutes would have been better. Would have been better? No, no, no. Can you imagine an eight-minute tarot card scene with not Kraven?
00:15:17
Speaker
ah this is important, though. the
00:15:25
Speaker
Give it to the first white man you see. but
00:15:43
Speaker
Thanks, Grandma Exposition.
00:15:48
Speaker
Also, why does she say that in, like, perfect English and not, like, indigenous, like... I was thinking that, too. We got to hear the prisoners speak in their native tongue. Yeah. Is that because the viewers wouldn't understand, like, another language?
00:16:05
Speaker
That isn't Russian? Yeah, if someone's like, three languages in the same movie? I'm out of here. Yeah.
00:16:32
Speaker
So do you think... It's the circle of life. Do you think that... And it pleases us all. my god, they oh my why did that happen? I'm just guessing that. my god.
00:16:44
Speaker
Also, take a trick every time Russell Crowe says we are hunters or predators. Or anyone says that. do you guys think that like when they started... like making this movie like they were like this movie is going to be superman the movie of the crazy movies
00:17:08
Speaker
i mean technically it is i mean i guess all the things in that it's the first one But that's the only that's the only way. like here's Here's the thing, though. like You got Russell Crowe as the dad who plays Jor-El in Man of Steel.
00:17:26
Speaker
There's ah like a 20-minute flashback of an origin story which also happens in Superman the movie. i don't I don't know. It's probably like an hour. i don't know. Maybe it just feels like an hour. But like this extended like flashback of like how like he becomes who he is.
00:17:43
Speaker
and that he remembered Calypso from her perspective?
00:17:50
Speaker
Alright, what else, Phil? you got We needed a third thing for your theory to make sense. I mean, well we'll we'll get to it a little bit later. it's It's not baby Phil Frontal, is it? Wait, wait, wait.
00:18:04
Speaker
I was thinking, like, is there an IHOP tie-in? like No, was it Denny's or IHOP and Man of Steel? think it was IHOP. I'm surprised Craven didn't have like a food product tie-in of like a protein bar or something stupid.
00:18:17
Speaker
like yeah Yeah, like I have had like, it's the Kravenburger, it's all the meats. but It's all the meat we found and put together.
00:18:35
Speaker
You know, in the 90s, if they made this, this would have been like a stupid jungle-themed Burger King meal or like a McDonald's thing. Oh god, you're right.
00:18:44
Speaker
I would have gotten that for him. Yeah. I mean, yeah. The toy. I've done a lot of dumb Batman Forever mugs. Yeah.
00:19:03
Speaker
Who's this guy again? Like, his a accountant? I forget who he is. It's...
00:19:13
Speaker
Yeah, he's like, he's like, well, right right now he's another, like, Russian, like, criminal gangster guy. weird because, it like, Russell Crowe looks like a very imposing gangster guy with, like, grizzled look.
00:19:31
Speaker
The other guy looks like he's cosplaying like a nerd. Like, there's something about it that throws me off on it. Like, he looks like Ben Schwartz.
00:19:41
Speaker
This would have been the late 90s. That's a good look back then. Yeah, no, this is the Ben Schwartz, like, Dimitri Martin, like, early prototype haircut. Sure, yeah.
00:20:16
Speaker
Have they come here before?
00:20:20
Speaker
i i think this is their like routine like routes. They always do hunts in this safari. like it's not the wild I don't know this is like the complete wild or this is just their theyre like enclosed African hunting ground.
00:20:35
Speaker
They've been there before though. This wouldn't have been the first time they've seen a cartoon lion. and look The look on their faces. It's Mufasa. Yeah. Oh my god.
00:20:48
Speaker
This came out like before or after Bufasa last year, right? Only like a couple weeks before, yeah. Yeah. What if he just started singing?
00:20:58
Speaker
I mean, they already did the circle all life with the blood instead of the fruit.
00:21:05
Speaker
What if you were a terrible father and you your like your kids are like, I want to see Bufasa and you took him to see this and stuff? yeah
00:21:15
Speaker
ah that That happened to me. might My, uh, like, one of my cousins, my older cousin, was to take me to see, like, Beethoven, and then he took me to see, like, Lethal Weapon 2.
00:21:26
Speaker
I mean, that's a good cousin.
00:21:32
Speaker
Yeah, man, you don't let older cousins decide the movie. Or sometimes you do, you grow up way too quick.
00:21:42
Speaker
If he had had his Vespa, he would have been able to follow ah Probably, yeah. Wait, are they doing a wheat thing from Gladiator? They are. It's the Gladiator thing. It's like, get it? Because Russell Crowe's in this movie.
00:21:54
Speaker
Oh my god.
00:21:59
Speaker
What? Is this the same safari park? Like, one end is this, and the other end is just like a happy family? Yep.
00:22:09
Speaker
Ryan...
00:22:15
Speaker
I forgot like she's in this part too. There's so much that happened that I was more interested in. and It's like, go back to Calypso.
00:22:25
Speaker
so how how did How does she vanish like that quickly? and like It's an open field. Yeah. think
00:22:50
Speaker
Here, you want him?
00:22:54
Speaker
Oh, he's bleeding into him. He's getting the strength of the lion. this is The lion gave him a blood transfusion? what Yeah. It's basically the origin of the She-Hulk. Oh my god, you're right.
00:23:09
Speaker
She got bit by that car, right? What is it... um what How does she get injured and need the blood transfusion? do you Like, in the comics?
00:23:20
Speaker
In the comics? um So, she has... she's like like She has a case where... it's I think it's like a mob but um case.
00:23:30
Speaker
And there's like a hit on her. And like you know Bruce happens to be there and give like gives her the transfusion. okay. Oh, it's an actual... Oh, it's a hit. See how interesting this movie is? We're talking about She-Ball. during critical origin moment.
00:23:51
Speaker
I'm confused. Did she just give him, like, homemade remedy drugs, like, in the wound? It's the magical potion that they don't explain really what it does. The grandmother's just like, it has unforeseen consequences.
00:24:03
Speaker
You'll know what used to do. it in first person? What? Yeah. it goes Don't say it for your family member or anything. Just like, this random dude, this little kid, this kid, like...
00:24:14
Speaker
Well, she also didn't tell her parents that her grandma grandma just gave her, like, LSD in a vial. Yeah. What?
00:24:28
Speaker
Okay, so I've got, like, a better version of this, where Calypso's actually the nurse, and then it's like, she sort of sees potential in healing him, and it's like, okay, well, convenient science is not working, like, conventional science, so I'll do, like, voodoo, because it's what we do here.
00:24:41
Speaker
And then it's like, oh, it worked, and now she's, like, this, like, you know, spirit practitioner, because she her belief, like, is real. That makes more sense than, like, a little girl with a vial of, like, homemade drugs.
00:24:53
Speaker
Mm-hmm.
00:24:55
Speaker
Yeah, but then she'd be so much older and it'd be weird when they bone.
00:25:00
Speaker
and That happens in the comic, too. I bet they would argue that the card is the thing. and she When she saw the lion, she saw it as a sign that this was the person she was supposed to give it to.
00:25:13
Speaker
She trusted on cards? Okay. Well, the it's you know it's like a sign. like good Okay, okay. But I don't think that's a good reason. but i be That's what they would argue.
00:25:26
Speaker
I feel like they imply that like he has the power of lions now, but then he kind of has like all animal powers, because like he only sees like a lion. like He sees like his eyes turn into lion eyes. What if it was like a three-minute sequence of a bunch of animals bleeding into it?
00:25:40
Speaker
to So I was like, wait, no, wait, oh yeah I get the blood of the lion. And then like an ostrich comes by with like an open face wound, like it bleeds in. What? Yeah. know they all They all fly in and like peck at him.
00:25:51
Speaker
Like a little swipe, like as it passed by. like cat woman. Oh, yeah. Oh, the cat woman. Yeah. yeah Yeah. Is that a Wes Anderson house? what That was not real.
00:26:04
Speaker
not wow
00:26:07
Speaker
so Is that your dog? It is. I'm sorry.
00:26:11
Speaker
he's convinced that someone is outside trying to kill us all. No, he understands Kraven. He understands the alpha of the movie and your dog is afraid about that. They read Russian like this or something like that like and they they won't do the Guyanese?
00:26:34
Speaker
That's weird. like they They made this Russian but like like it could have easily made it English.
00:26:47
Speaker
ah thats that's that's how That's how chameleon is chameleon, because he can imitate people's voices. You can do that one thing. like i Again, I know the chameleon lore. It gets kind of wonky sometimes, but like...
00:27:01
Speaker
yeah
00:27:06
Speaker
Well, okay, so that's another thing in the comic. They do stress that later on, because they wanted to give Kraven a more interesting arc, besides... ah ah like a trophy hunter, the like touch a madness thing where like it runs in his family and like it it sort of makes sense. And then it like it's really dark. Like it goes beyond like a regular like Spider-Man comic because it's just like you give him sympathy of like what he's battling internally.
00:27:37
Speaker
But they, know, they're not using it right here. You know i mean? Like, there's actual, like, drama about the madness thing, and they're like, whatever, you've got the blood of a lion. Like, go hunt.
00:27:47
Speaker
You got cured by a magic potion.
00:28:00
Speaker
Time to get shirtless for a while. ah
00:28:07
Speaker
Okay, so I i know like he's shirtless for a lot, but when does he get the like comic look? Oh well ah no. Oh Chris. 17 years from now. How much longer is left this movie?
00:28:26
Speaker
Oh no. our sort Yeah, I was like, okay cool, we've established a lot about his background, now go into the whole hunting thing. God damn it already.
00:28:48
Speaker
i I don't want to be what I'm born to be. it's like Okay, that's cliche. I get it. It's cool if you haven't seen a lot of them, but there's such a better version of that.
00:29:00
Speaker
What's that, Mr. Hawk? You want to bleed in my wound? I'm going to...
00:29:07
Speaker
yeah He should be like Mark Wahlberg talks to animals.
00:29:13
Speaker
Hey, you're a hawk!
00:29:24
Speaker
Alright, so it's 1990-something. ah Well, no, it's like either 1998 17 years from... like I'm assuming it like the present day is present day. It's like 2025. Yeah. So this is like 2005 he's just sorta like trying to escape from. So he's just leaving this time during like Nu Metal. Like he'll go to America during this time when like Limp Bizkit is like starting all revolution.
00:29:49
Speaker
I wish that was on the soundtrack.
00:29:53
Speaker
Like maybe the first Fast and the Furious movie is about around now.
00:30:00
Speaker
I'm surprised he's not like stupidly inspired by that era of like cool. You know, it's just like like a cat.
00:30:10
Speaker
But he's like an impressionable 17-year-old that I can see him be like, I want to go to America to drive the cars like they do in Fast and Furious. Oh, yeah.
00:30:21
Speaker
But he's going to use his animal powers instead. the the like Nature's super soldier so super soldier serum.
00:30:47
Speaker
Does he ever speak Russian? Because he does not Russian sounding whatsoever. He hates his dad so much that he refuses to speak. But like, I feel like there was an accent Aaron Taylor Johnson, right?
00:31:01
Speaker
He does do something, yeah. yeah
00:31:06
Speaker
So I get Chameleon not having an accent, he's an actor, but like... He sounds like a Texan accent. And they're living in Russia right now.
00:31:19
Speaker
Is he from Texas? Like, he grew up here? This is a better origin story for Chameleon than it is for Kraven right now. Because, I mean, him being abandoned and stuck there is it's for real no good.
00:31:34
Speaker
Right. That's comic book accurate. Yeah. And Kraven should be trying to get him out of there. He's not. He's doing his whole Batman Begins journey over here. Yeah.
00:31:47
Speaker
Taking that 16 year ride. Or Superman. The Superman Goldfish's Pictures of Solitude. Which was like North Dakota? What?
00:31:59
Speaker
far he so He went from Russia to Far Eastern Russia. Further Russia? Yeah. ah
00:32:09
Speaker
yeah I thought he was going to America based on like the land, the place, and it makes sense that he kind of has like other beliefs about non-corrupt Russian mobs, but he just went back to more corrupt Russia?
00:32:22
Speaker
Oh, it's another Lion King reference. oh my god I am shocked how I guessed the Lion King by accident. I could not believe were going with that cliche...................
00:32:40
Speaker
Excuse us, Alpha. Excuse us, Alpha.
00:32:47
Speaker
You're king.
00:32:53
Speaker
Man, that is a lot of but water buffalo.
00:33:06
Speaker
that's a challenge or like I saved you.
00:33:13
Speaker
He's teaching him how to be a good alpha. Just like Vin Diesel teaches Paul Walker how to be a good alpha in the Fast
00:33:34
Speaker
Is Dima his mom? No, it's his brother. yes it's Okay. Oh, it's Dimitri. Okay, it's Sean.
00:33:42
Speaker
I forgot what his mom's name is. It's super not important in the long run, but... I don't think has like a name. I think she's like, it's your mom. Craven's mom is his name.
00:33:53
Speaker
I do appreciate Marvel so far to have the restraint to like not do like a like a Friday the 13th thing with Craven's mom and like reintroduce her or do something kind of weird.
00:34:06
Speaker
What's her deal in the comics? ah No, yeah so they they had Son of Craven. Oh. The son of Kraven is like the new Kraven sometimes. oh Is he cool?
00:34:16
Speaker
Oh, he became a movie star. Like he did the opposite of this. he He sold out, like uses his abilities to do like movie stunts and he's like an action star. Wait, he got, he got lion blood too? Yeah.
00:34:29
Speaker
Yeah. thought they They like rewrote his, his son is such a comical version of Kraven, but like he's cooler. Like, and he still does the like, Hey, like my grandfather did bad. Like my father did some bad. My uncle does bad. Like I'm trying to not do that.
00:34:42
Speaker
Oh, that's cool.
00:34:46
Speaker
but there's it he That Craven, he sold out. He didn't do the whole, I'm going to rebel. like He's just like, I'm cool at this. I'm going to get so many fucking gigs like doing stunts.
00:34:59
Speaker
He missed. Yeah.
00:35:04
Speaker
yeah I could not believe how long this origin was. like watching it for the first time. like We're still in the origin. We should have marked the time to see exactly how long it was because it really is ridiculous.
00:35:15
Speaker
Oh my god, I forgot there's still like other parts of the movie. but like You could just do this and it's fine, but they didn't. Wouldn't been better to start with the origin? like Yeah! At least I've invested.
00:35:26
Speaker
But there's there was nothing up front action-wise. like it would have been This would have been the first action sequence. That's true. But this feels like a 90s take on a Marvel movie just like out of order because this is what would be the but like starting catalyst for his like anti-hero her ways.
00:35:46
Speaker
He's got eagle vision. Eyes the Hulk.
00:35:54
Speaker
So he becomes the Lorax where he speaks for the woods? Oh man. He's like he's like the ultimate like conservationist. He definitely got a splinter going down that tree. Ha ha ha.
00:36:08
Speaker
See, that'd be cool if he was summoning the power of the animal and his hands hardened like a monkey or something. and like What if he could raise the dead animals? Just animals, though.
00:36:19
Speaker
He just becomes fungi. He controls like the parasite fungus.
00:36:39
Speaker
I think someone just left their knife there. think that was the carving knife. Yeah, it's just lying on the ground, like...
00:36:56
Speaker
Why is this shot, like, some parts look like a camcorder?
00:37:01
Speaker
Like, the quality dips. ah Spoiler alert, Chris, this is not the worst quality in the movie.
00:37:11
Speaker
I can't tell if my internet connection just dipped or something, but like it looks like a... like It's such a different camera work. What's going here? It is not your internet connection.
00:37:27
Speaker
was your TV. It got bored and slipped through the SD. Pixels took a break. What's going on? Are you still watching this? Why?
00:37:47
Speaker
Was that it? Was that the full origin? we get Oh, finally. Yay! I'm me again.
00:37:58
Speaker
We can escape 2005 and move on. Oh yeah, and I tell Josh this is goofy.
00:38:05
Speaker
And with the same cards. Somehow. It's not weathered at all. It's still crisp. He keeps it in a sleeve. It's his lucky haunted card....
00:38:27
Speaker
Oh, thought going shirtless, though. Like, just... Unbelievably more. He likes the the wind on his nipples. and
00:38:50
Speaker
How does this crew have his nump phone number? Because if you're like, I want i don't have nothing to do with you, father. It's like... you hate it like
00:39:01
Speaker
I think it's like old. I think his his old phone from... well i think i think i think ah Spoilers, we'll get to it, but like he still like has contact with his brother and then Russell Crowe shows up too. So it's like, I don't want anything to do with you except when we meet up up with each other every couple years.
00:39:16
Speaker
um they still like our family even though they just live apart?
00:39:21
Speaker
Like, they can check in on each other? Yeah. i still have Sunday dinner.
00:39:27
Speaker
but having fish today. but like You know what I mean? like It just it just it seemed like it was just a phase of the independence thing. Now it's just like, okay, well you live there now because you want to be close to the woods. And then his dad's like completely understanding. Yeah.
00:39:41
Speaker
I mean, understanding enough for like a Russian mobster.
00:39:47
Speaker
How many times does Kraven have to like kill these poachers? It's like every couple every couple months there's like a new poacher show up. Like, every season. that's I think this is, like, his preserve.
00:39:59
Speaker
Yeah. And then they come in and they keep, like, killing.
00:40:07
Speaker
Okay, so he sort of has his look, but it's more of the, like, video game versions of Kraven.
00:40:15
Speaker
Because he's not exactly showing up in a leotard. And, like, he had, um, okay, does please God, hope this doesn't happen. He used to have hypnose beams that come out of his nipples oh from his lion eyes. That happened, man. was like a hypno beam.
00:40:31
Speaker
No. okay Thankfully, no. Because he wore like a lion head leotard and like the eyes were like right at his chest level and it's like he would like touch his belt and then shoot at a beam.
00:40:45
Speaker
It was the 70s. Stanley and Steve Biko were high out of their mind.
00:40:53
Speaker
I've only ever read one Kraven comic. That's the one where he kills himself. Oh my god. See? like It's too much at that point if you start there.
00:41:05
Speaker
Does he kill himself with nipple beans?
00:41:13
Speaker
I mean, that's pretty cool.
00:41:16
Speaker
So he bit like... Okay, so he was an animal fighter. Bit the crap out of that guy.
00:41:29
Speaker
I guess you could do this in Russia, because you don't need explain what happened on your animal reserve.
00:41:37
Speaker
Meanwhile, what's in?
00:41:55
Speaker
They called them the Gain Warning. yeah Craven the Game Warden.
00:42:19
Speaker
How does bro not notice the pool of blood? yeah
00:42:25
Speaker
I mean, I guess it finally leaked over, but... Like, I guess is Mr. Tagley in the corner? I don't. Where is he? He's behind the door.
00:42:38
Speaker
umm I'm looking right now, like we're on the room. If I walked in where the body would be to not be so inconspicuous as you walk in the first few seconds.
00:42:47
Speaker
Usually a thing with that, like ceiling, like you're standing on him and he's like, he's a carpet, you know, he's the
00:42:59
Speaker
Oh.
00:43:03
Speaker
You have failed the city. Yeah, he failed the city. You failed the city or whatever.
00:43:08
Speaker
I don't Um, no. Today is time. Today is long
00:43:24
Speaker
So she kept that tarot deck all these years, 16 years in fact, with one card missing. Yep. That useless tarot deck.
00:43:36
Speaker
Every prediction is one card off. Yeah, yeah. yeah She's like 90% accurate.
00:43:50
Speaker
I forgot this was Ariana DeBose. Yeah. Her post-Oscar run has not been great. It's really weird, right? like Argyle this. What is she doing?
00:44:04
Speaker
Oh, I forgot she was in Argyle. ye
00:44:15
Speaker
Yep. Did they also do the thing where the actors thought they were MCU and they tricked them?
00:44:23
Speaker
It's like you're in a Marvel movie! what Which one? ah Which
00:44:50
Speaker
So they've been like pen pals?
00:44:55
Speaker
No. this is like the first time he's kind of contacted her in like 17 years or whatever it was.
00:45:03
Speaker
Oh, my perfect deck is reunited.
00:45:08
Speaker
You're that random boy.
00:45:21
Speaker
this is all weird coincidences. Yep.
00:45:37
Speaker
Wait. No, that still doesn't explain it. No.
00:45:43
Speaker
I smelled it. I used my animal scents. Did he have to, like, figure out who rented what hut in Guyana during that time? ah And then he's been killing people to get, like, a hotel listing or something?
00:45:56
Speaker
No, he just has this conversation with every single person he meets. yeah And he figured, eventually... ah Eventually, keep flashing this tarot card, it's gonna work.
00:46:10
Speaker
How did you even know, like, the girl's name? did Did she say her name when he was injured or something?
00:46:17
Speaker
And her legal name is Calypso.
00:46:33
Speaker
Why did he find her?
00:46:39
Speaker
I think she just wanted to know what the potion was, maybe? Why do you wait like 18 years for 17 years?
00:46:52
Speaker
He's not such a good hunter after all.
00:47:10
Speaker
So it was because the like person put a hit on her friend that sort of crossed his path, I guess. Yeah, I think the Russian gangster he killed the beginning was when it killed like the lawyer friend.
00:47:28
Speaker
So he did it to like get vengeance? That's a weird like how it ties together all this in the circle. This seems like a more of a coincidence than like and like he's been planning
00:47:40
Speaker
But it comes off as like he particularly has been like climbing this ladder to get to her.
00:47:53
Speaker
Oh.
00:47:58
Speaker
Oh. With a K, like Mortal Kombat. This is terrible exposition. They need the grandma to come out to yeah zip it up. Yeah.
00:48:11
Speaker
He can't just be a guy who the thrill of the hunt is like his passion to prove that he's the best of like humanity within a certain power scale. you know This is also before Mutants were, I think, really brought in. because The thing about Kraven, he never went after anyone else because Spider-Man became an obsession.
00:48:27
Speaker
But when he if he ever fights in some fantasy situations against other power heroes, he's not much of a... like He's a match, but he's not like... On the same level as a mutant that can really mess him up.
00:48:39
Speaker
He doesn't fight Wolverine. you know like
00:48:44
Speaker
He's like, Waterfinds his own level. Yeah, he's he he knows, at least in like modern comics and retellings, if Kraven's there, it's sort of like, okay, like I can only kill that like is slightly better than me. like He's reasonable about it.
00:48:59
Speaker
Also, half the time now, it's like revenge against Spider-Man. It's just constantly revenge against Spider-Man.
00:49:13
Speaker
but of the rogues gallery, why this villain? Like, this could have been a, um, like a th Thrasher movie or like a Nighthawk movie or something. like
00:49:25
Speaker
Which Nighthawk got like a reboot in the Marvel comics and it's actually, it was decent from what I heard.
00:49:32
Speaker
Nighthawk, for those who i don't know, is like the Green Lantern of like Earth.
00:49:39
Speaker
But like way, way worse. Like based on a motorcycle outfit.
00:49:49
Speaker
This scene's too long.
00:49:53
Speaker
We're able to talk about other Marvel things in this one Marvel movie. yeah with like it is one scene. Abundant amount of time that we're not like missing crucial dialogue that we don't understand like who this new character is. this is ah This is my least favorite part of the movie. He just asked her to help him find somebody.
00:50:13
Speaker
Kraven the hunter just asked her. It's like, why now? He's been doing it for however however many years. He's found a bunch of people and killed them. But it's like, he was able now I need your help to find more people? yeah He was able to find the woman. He he saved him from like almost a death. like like He wasn't all there. Young, he was able to hunt down that woman. Like, knew.
00:50:40
Speaker
Yeah, and now it's like, help me find these more criminals who pretty much are probably noisier than like a lawyer doing her job.
00:50:49
Speaker
It's the one thing he does right is hunt people, and he's asking for help for it. Well, he's craving the askerer. Alright, so this is the the other business oligarch.
00:51:06
Speaker
ah How is his new look? Do we enjoy this better?
00:51:13
Speaker
Why the fanny pack? Why but by the backpack? You'll find out.
00:51:20
Speaker
Keeps all the snacks in there. Oh my god. This is the weirdest way to introduce caught like weird, catchy stuff.
00:51:46
Speaker
This definitely was like a goddamn like unused script from Arrow.
00:52:41
Speaker
So still, if they'd not done that first action sequence, there would have been no action up until this point. So, I mean, they couldn't have done that.
00:52:51
Speaker
Like, they need to do something, right? So, I'm always questioning how some scripts get written. Do you think they wrote that without, like, an action sequence and then someone was like, hey, nothing goes on for, like, an hour?
00:53:02
Speaker
Yeah. and the first the first inclination was not like, hey, let's shorten down the flashback? Yeah. Let's get to this.
00:53:14
Speaker
What? Is eczema?
00:53:18
Speaker
Well, it's it's it's the rhino, everybody. um spoilers. They said it. this is like They call him the rhino. Ah. He doesn't look like a rhino.
00:53:31
Speaker
Oh.
00:53:33
Speaker
did Did a rhino bleed into him? Yes. yeah What's going on in that park that they all visited like back then? like Was there like a mutagen going on?
00:53:59
Speaker
Oh my god, if you saw this in real life, it'd be the scariest thing in the world.
00:54:07
Speaker
But at least the backpack would make sense.
00:54:11
Speaker
least, okay, I get it, but not a great way to introduce everything. is this Is this better or worse than Paul Giamatti? I get Paul Giamatti, though.
00:54:28
Speaker
Now he's got rhino analogies? Oh, no.
00:54:33
Speaker
So just to recap, his the plan for this meet was to like meet with these guys, um let them shoot him, yeah before the sniper, who he is employing, kills... All but one.
00:54:51
Speaker
like So it was like a job applicant? What the hell? Well, it's it kind kind of was set up like it's like the the Joker in Dark Knight, where it's like, you guys had to fight each other.
00:55:02
Speaker
Yeah.
00:55:07
Speaker
I'm sorry this movie couldn't hire actual Harry Styles to be here. Yep. Because they probably asked him, he's like, hell no. you want to be the chameleon? He's like, no, I'm going to be... but What was he set up to be? Star Fox? Star Fox, yeah. Marvel. Wait,
00:55:28
Speaker
wait but this is a Marvel movie, too. Right? Right?
00:55:37
Speaker
That's like double the money. You'll be loved.
00:55:53
Speaker
I don't know. Have you guys gone to like a lot of like ventriloquist shows or like a lot of Jeff Dunnan things? It's like, would you go to a Jeff Dunnan musical at a fancy Russian bar?
00:56:05
Speaker
Mm-hmm.
00:56:11
Speaker
I mean, no one's paying attention to him.
00:56:19
Speaker
He seems fine for having been forced to like live with his father alone for, you know... 16 years? 16 years.
00:56:36
Speaker
I can keep you safe from demons.
00:56:48
Speaker
So wouldn't Dimitri make a whole lot more money like as like a ah person who could sound like literally any performer? like i like voice that roger yeah like He should be on SNL to do an impression. yes I think, I mean, seriously though, I think, here's an action scene, guys.
00:57:11
Speaker
I think like he's a prisoner. like He can't get away from his life. like hes Yeah. Yeah. yeah It makes sense where he sort of just has to be part of this group because he has no choice.
00:57:24
Speaker
Right. It's like the nerd scientist in any drug lord who actually isn't like part of the operation but forced to be there. do To do do like the scientist things. But his thing is to be like... yeah Yeah, he plays the piano. Yeah.
00:57:38
Speaker
Yeah, his his nightclub is the the hangout.
00:57:45
Speaker
I mean, this is actually not a bad sequence for a Marvel thing. You know, it's like very... Like, John Wick-ish, but they wanted to just do this instead. Like, you know, like... is Does he have an animal power, too? Is that going to be a big reveal?
00:57:59
Speaker
yeah He just poured some vodka into his body, into his blood hole. i potato i thought this the The amount of things about open wounds and putting things in them.
00:58:13
Speaker
There is so much...
00:58:20
Speaker
I think Russell Crowe actually drank an entire bottle of vodka on
00:58:41
Speaker
See, the dog completely understands about like weird scenes about this movie. Look! Look what's happened! he The dog get knew the sense of why he's like the rhino's hissing.
00:59:08
Speaker
What movie player thing was that? Oh, wait. Oh, it was his laptop. Kraven, aka The Hunter. So someone sent them, like, ah camera footage that also had, like, a bio scanner profile?
00:59:31
Speaker
Also, wait. and So in this universe, there's no superhero things, right? Like, this is the first time everyone's seeing, like, superpowers? Well, it's the same universe as like Venom, right?
00:59:42
Speaker
Venom and Madame Web? And Morbius. And Morbius, yeah.
00:59:49
Speaker
But no one's mentioning that that they exist at all in these movies?
00:59:55
Speaker
I know Morbius did Vulture for some reason, but like no one talks about what happened in previous Sony movies.
01:00:05
Speaker
That was weird because i it's like we're trying to make our own universe but they don't connect them in an immediate float
01:00:25
Speaker
way. Yeah, there they're really scraping the bottom of the barrel of like what Sony had rights to. of like What characters do we have? ah the foreigner? foreigner? I will say that it made him really cool in this movie.
01:00:36
Speaker
I loved the Foreigner in this movie. I thought it was really cool. i don't think he has any powers in the comics, though. I think he's just like a good assassin. So I cannot remember a comic that I've read with the Foreigner in it. I do not remember the Foreigner at all.
01:00:56
Speaker
Where's he from? Oh, yeah. Everywhere and nowhere.
01:01:10
Speaker
He was in Spectacular Spider-Man number 209, apparently. And that's it. but but One and done. but Oh, I do own this comic. I didn't think that was him.
01:01:22
Speaker
I thought that was like, we as a kid, I thought that was just like another Punisher outfit. Yeah, he looks, it's it's just like, its just to put if the Punisher had like yellow boots instead of white boots.
01:01:35
Speaker
Oh no, I left a yellow sock in the laundry room. guess I'm the foreigner now.
01:01:55
Speaker
Man, the foreigners art back then was awesome. Back in like 1904, where every superhero looked like they all were're bodybuilders.
01:02:06
Speaker
What a creep.
01:02:18
Speaker
on his robe when he was still in the shower. Yeah, I was to say, like, how did you know but he was going to put a robe on before it came out?
01:02:50
Speaker
So, his brother's Liberace, right?
01:03:14
Speaker
Animal powers! Ruining relationships.
01:03:26
Speaker
Is he eating a giant salad? I
01:03:34
Speaker
i think it's just a fancy bowl. Somehow his dinner comes in a shell. That is a weird shell. He's like, I'll have that's like a top already you order the a salad at a Russian men club.
01:03:49
Speaker
He ordered off-menu? yeah My brother owns the place. Just do it.
01:04:18
Speaker
so Do you think it's been 17 years or 16 years since he's seen his father? like They never cross paths. I feel like Kraven says at one point like he comes back every year for his brother's birthday. so it's like at least At least once a year they all get back see your character again.
01:04:36
Speaker
I mean, this is what like distant relatives are kind of like. That's true. So they got that right. But, like, it's weird. I thought, like, this would be the first time in, like, 17 years they meet, but it's not. It's just they still have tension.
01:04:48
Speaker
Because he doesn't want to, like, forgive him. He's also, like, trying to destroy, like, his father's, like like, everything his father stands for. Secretly? Yeah. It's like, so, Sergei, you still trying destroy my organization?
01:05:04
Speaker
So he knows?
01:05:08
Speaker
Right, like, Kraven knows that, like, you know, like, Whoever Papa Craven is, or whoever Jossel Crowe's character's name is. Yeah, he knows his father's a gangster.
01:05:19
Speaker
Yeah.
01:05:23
Speaker
So did Dimitri not just get, like, just not get enough to eat as he was growing up? Because he is a tiny man. Well, I think he's adopted. No, his stepson.
01:05:34
Speaker
ah Like, half-brother. Half-brother stepson? I don't know. All his muscles are in his vocal cords. its yes That's his mutation. yeah What is... ah In the comics, it's he's not a mutant, is he?
01:05:49
Speaker
The chameleon? No, he does mask. going At the time, when he's first introduced, he can only do, like, men. And then, later on, it was... He had, like, a hologram tech.
01:06:00
Speaker
And then, after that, he becomes sort of, like, Clayface? I don't know if it's the same, but... like So, he went through the same thing as Kraven. Like, he was just a trained expert.
01:06:13
Speaker
And then a witch turned him into a monster. I yeah i don't i don't know because if he's basically morph these days.
01:06:22
Speaker
But yeah, the chameleon's an interesting guy. At least so he was when it was just like he was an actor. like He was like secretly the world's best actor.
01:06:37
Speaker
Not the origin again?
01:06:42
Speaker
He dreams that exact, like, origin sequence every night. Well, at least he gets a long night's sleep. where He's in London, right? So he just went to, like, the park?
01:06:58
Speaker
And just slept the middle of the city? he would be Hassa by, like, hooligans and, like, but you know, yeah like,
01:07:08
Speaker
like yeah There would be a person like, all right what's right here? Just like poking him.
01:07:25
Speaker
I don't remember this movie having humor, but it does. it's ah Does it? Well, it's lighthearted at times. The whole crossbow scene, like his whole attitude was really light and breezy, which is kind of fun.
01:07:42
Speaker
um I remember being really heavy, but he's doing things that make it a real movie.
01:07:51
Speaker
Because i would i would say a movie like this needs humor. I would also say, you know, that this upcoming sequence is the eight minutes I would shown. This fun run is legit. i so the i could I could see the power. I could see action. see he's not graceful. This is actually not a bad point. theyre like If you start here, if you know context, you just show the man his determination.
01:08:15
Speaker
yeah like The facial acting. yeah The barefoot running. The Tom Cruise sprint he's got going on.
01:08:26
Speaker
Speed the cheetah.
01:08:34
Speaker
He's doing 20 stairs at a time.
01:08:39
Speaker
He's faster four legs.
01:08:42
Speaker
See, this is fun. This is cool. And there's not a lot of this, is there? I think it's a pretty decently long sequence because it ends in a there's It's not just running.
01:08:53
Speaker
There's a fight coming up. But this is running. This is Yes.
01:08:57
Speaker
but this is fun running i'm in this is fun
01:09:06
Speaker
Oh, man.
01:09:11
Speaker
Mm. Falling like a penguin.
01:09:18
Speaker
So you guys seen the Jackie Chan Avengers, right? The cartoon? Yeah. So there's like in the second season in the arc, there was like a big bad villain that anytime he had to do like a move, he would name the the animal and the move to like enhance his like power thing.
01:09:37
Speaker
So he'd be like, you know, two-fisted monkey kick, and like, yeah wouldn't make any goddamn sense, but like, that at least explained why he could do this dumb-looking move. Right. Kraven should have, like, I think we said earlier, she should have been announcing animal things, where was just like, bird! like...
01:09:53
Speaker
sparrow and like oh okay that's the type of bird like that would certainly add the humor i was looking for yeah that would definitely be the animal like Rob Schneider thing when he announced because i know in the animal he said like the animal sound effect would like accompany his move but because like they wanted to be grim dark it's none of that
01:10:16
Speaker
oh my god Do you think that the driver got in trouble for bringing the car with the handlebars on it? That he could hold on to? Hey man, you need the roof rack!
01:10:28
Speaker
yeah I told you I gotta get my bike after this. This
01:10:40
Speaker
is why we should have drove the the Tesla truck. You can't grip that. It's awesome. You'll fall right off. ah
01:10:54
Speaker
So they're stealing this from Captain America, huh? um yep Are we ready to believe that he is stronger than this helicopter is? Yeah, what what animal could hold a helicopter down? and
01:11:11
Speaker
Strength of a sperm whale.
01:11:17
Speaker
Oh no! had to kill his heel! Bullets! Yep.
01:11:24
Speaker
Okay, I give it credit for that one.
01:11:43
Speaker
Power of the dolphin!
01:11:47
Speaker
That kinda happened in the animal. He did, to like, do a dolphin thing, so... a lot of It's getting eerie similar to the animal. yeah
01:12:03
Speaker
yeah buoys
01:12:07
Speaker
oh
01:12:12
Speaker
See, if that had been the eight minutes they showed, amazing. Right? Like, I would have been excited. Yeah, but then you would have been let down by the the entire rest of the movie. you That's true.
01:12:26
Speaker
No, that was pretty good. It got, like, everything. you show how vulnerable he is, and, like, There's crazy situation he can't really handle, but he did okay for a while.
01:12:42
Speaker
I wonder if they didn't like that he doesn't win at the end of that. Like it ends with him failing, or guess they don't need to show that. i think it ended with him throwing that javelin through the Yeah. yeah Well, it's a cliff that you're really intrigued. I'm like, oh, is he going to whoever that was back?
01:12:58
Speaker
Yeah. You want to see? Pay us money. not sure about you, but that timed that perfectly. The dog barking in my coffee.
01:13:20
Speaker
And they were just like like shaking his head disappointingly. Yeah, yeah, it did. I was like, oh, is that like a sad animal sound he made?
01:13:45
Speaker
She's all bored about the murder? Yeah.
01:13:51
Speaker
I thought she was against it, but now she's all about it. But it's also like, Kraven's been able to find all these people, but now he can't.
01:14:02
Speaker
Well, because they gave it acalypso to Calypso to the rest of the hunting. Yeah, they need to hear here the movie we do something. Also, also feel like if this is where Kraven has to turn to his father and then like reunite with him after all these years, be like, listen, we don't talk, but Dimitri's taken. Help me find him. like We'll team up or something.
01:14:21
Speaker
that in the first meeting I didn't know they had dinner beforehand.
01:14:52
Speaker
about how much you like that song, actually.
01:14:57
Speaker
It's definitely about $20 million dollars worth.
01:15:31
Speaker
So we will abandon him now. um just beat him mercilessly for 16 years.
01:15:38
Speaker
Maybe he should have trained him instead of giving him piano lessons.
01:15:46
Speaker
I feel like in any kind of mobster thing, you you send your son to the best assassins. You usually have like a a harem of like killers on hand. You could just be like, go learn from them. But he loved the piano.
01:15:58
Speaker
It's singing like Tony Bennett.
01:16:03
Speaker
I mean, aside from the like mo Russian mobster thing he's got going on, he really supported his his son's arts, you know? like He gave him a nightclub to sing in He like gave him a fashion sense. He gave him a penthouse in London.
01:16:40
Speaker
Fuck you and your antibiotics.
01:17:00
Speaker
So do appreciate that Dimitri is now standing up for him, I guess. Like he's saying he's being defiant. Mm-hmm.
01:17:11
Speaker
So he's not just like coming off as weak already?
01:17:35
Speaker
Oh, yeah, the forwarder. Oh, I forgot. And he's got a different look, so... took me a minute. Because he can be anyone.
01:17:46
Speaker
He's like a chameleon.
01:17:51
Speaker
Oh, wait, no.
01:18:10
Speaker
So, couldn't you just shot him without doing the trick?
01:18:16
Speaker
Probably, but he's how he uses powers. But what's the point of the powers? it just to like give him a like ah five second advantage to shoot them?
01:18:28
Speaker
He's very lazy. He doesn't want to work that hard. Okay. Did he ever explain what his powers are? youre just like I guess he hypnotizes them or something.
01:18:48
Speaker
Did you forget that he could climb?
01:18:52
Speaker
Because if you did, here comes some more climbing.
01:19:13
Speaker
This is probably one of the dumbest parts of the movie for me.
01:19:26
Speaker
Like, Kraven's stealth abilities, which we'll get to. This wasn't it? I thought that was the whole stealth section of the movie. There's more? oh yeah. There's a flashback to where he learned how to stealth. Yep.
01:19:43
Speaker
Do you remember Aquaman 2 where there was an octopus stealth section that just happens and you're okay with it? So they were like, let's copy that with an animal man.
01:19:59
Speaker
It would be fun if this was a beat for beat remake of Aquaman 2, except... In the Kraven world. Well, because like he's breaking in a prison to save his brother, which happened in Aquaman, too. it's like like look look look he's just like He's not like crouching or anything. like How are they not sensing he's behind them? Right. like what what What animal power is giving him the ability to be quiet and undetectable?
01:20:26
Speaker
I mean, this is just Metal Gear Solid. yeah He figured out their cone of vision.
01:20:33
Speaker
He's basically just playing like, I'm not touching you. the like he's like, I'm not touching you. and that's she nice He's touching this guy.
01:20:42
Speaker
And now you're dead. Boom.
01:20:56
Speaker
Ah, that's cool.
01:20:59
Speaker
I'm sorry. this This hallway business is pretty cool.
01:21:07
Speaker
Look, even Bazooka Joe thinks it's cool.
01:21:15
Speaker
Wait, who was the Bazooka guy? Yeah, right? Did Kraven have backup? I don't understand. what Who were those guys?
01:21:32
Speaker
The Hunter? Hawkfishin! Hawkfishin! ah
01:21:39
Speaker
Oh.
01:21:54
Speaker
I mean, if they really wanted to earn that R rating, that guy would have exploded.
01:22:08
Speaker
Wait, what are Kraven's powers again? SHOVE THE TURTLE! SHOVE THE TURTLE! That would have been amazing.
01:22:34
Speaker
Why does he look like he's out of the Matrix? What's going on here?
01:22:50
Speaker
Yeah, i the Foreigner stuff really works on me. The counting, the hypnotizing, the cool killing. ah I mean, he's just sister us who he's such a cool character in this movie. yeah It really works, even though he's sort of an... He feels like an afterthought.
01:23:09
Speaker
Yeah, it just feels like they could have spent more time on that, and then the like other aspects. like He could have been just the fine... like The only villain. Yeah, I would have loved it,
01:23:20
Speaker
Well, it it definitely feels like they like, it's like, well, we have, we've ran out of characters. Like, who do we have license left that Marvel has have the license for? but you they already did the rhino. Like, you know, unfortunately, the Paul Giamatti, but like, at least it's already like in the pop culture, like, zeitgeist at that point that there was a mech rhino.
01:23:38
Speaker
And now it's like, now we've got like the the thing version of a rhino.
01:23:44
Speaker
But here's the thing, though. Like, Spider-Man doesn't have any other animal-based villains that could be a replacement of the Rhino. Any.
01:24:19
Speaker
I mean, they messed up on grabbing witch brother, then if that's the point.
01:24:24
Speaker
This thin-frilled man must be the hunter.
01:24:34
Speaker
Bring me the hunter. He's like 110 pounds. He's got blue turtleneck on. He performs one hell of a Tony Bennett. Yep. yep
01:24:49
Speaker
What does he like insult his brother in the camera?
01:25:13
Speaker
Oh, so like, honestly, that he doesn't talk about like anything with his brother and his father about what he does for fun. He must not. They think he just lives on like that like game reserve.
01:25:26
Speaker
So all this time they think like he's just been like a game warden? like i take care of the water buffaloes.
01:25:36
Speaker
I mean, obviously Kraven messed up on protecting those because they got pulched. And then he's also not good as a hunter because then he got like rocked.
01:25:49
Speaker
Oh my god. holy Holy shit, he pulled like the um the same kind of thing that um Quicksilver did in Days a Future Past. He did like a, hey, like, I'm behind you. Look how quick I am.
01:26:08
Speaker
ah if he had said you didn't see that coming, the cheers in my audience. ah In in my my theater, the three of us were cheered. Three strangers cheering about a nod to an old movie.
01:26:26
Speaker
To an example of what to do and what not to do.
01:26:31
Speaker
It's funny. like You're right. Eric Taylor-Johnson could have been like, hey, like I was in a Marvel movie once. You guys want to hear my feedback of how I felt? and like No, no, no. Get in there. Crawl on your arms and legs.
01:26:45
Speaker
You know, sometimes when, like, the Marvel actor oversells the character that they obviously just really just, like, well, yeah, they gave me a script and I just did the part. Like, yeah I know they can't say that because it's really bad if you do. Sure. But, like, at least Dakota Johnson did, and that's what's funny about her, because she was just like, yeah, whatever.
01:27:02
Speaker
I think Aaron Taylor Johnson, like, sold how this movie was going to be, like, great and stuff, and, like, he was excited. Yeah, I felt it in the promotion for it, yeah.
01:27:29
Speaker
So i when I was watching this in theaters, I thought they were going drop a Morbius reference. So like, Michael Morbius helped me cure my rhinos. I can't decide if it's a good or bad thing that in the Sony-verse, they were afraid to pull those kind of stunts. like I mean, Madame Red had the most fun in terms of like, you know, May Parker having a baby in that movie.
01:27:53
Speaker
Or not May Parker, but but but Peter being born, basically. but Morbius doesn't reference Venom except in the commercial. yeah And like none of the Venom movies reference, you know, like anything else that's going on.
01:28:09
Speaker
I, I can't decide if it's good or bad that they don't have the fun with that because it it seems like they were building towards wanting to create their sinister six yeah but before that happened at Marvel. But, um,
01:28:24
Speaker
I don't know. I can't decide if i if I respect them for staying in their own lane and trying to build something before they have their multiverse. But don't know. They are, because but even the name drop here, Professor like Miles Warden, that's the Jackal, I think.
01:28:41
Speaker
He gets the Jackal. So like there are hints for like bigger fans, like you know Spider fans and like Marvel things to get. like There's potential here. This is actually a good good scene. This is how you do a bigger universe.
01:28:54
Speaker
I still don't understand how they're going to have... like Because they they had like Null in Venom Last Dance be like, like he's the Thanos of this universe. Oh, yeah. But then but it's like, who's going to fight him? Madame Web? Oh, I would pay to see that movie. Kraven. Kraven, Madame Web, Morbius, and the Vulture fighting like this intergalactic god.
01:29:14
Speaker
my God. he has to do is send them to space and they're all dead. Yep. That universe's Avengers sucks.
01:29:24
Speaker
No, I want to see i want to see ah Dakota Johnson being snarky as fuck to know. Yeah. That would be fun. i guess you have, like, the Spider-Girls also, like, have give them their powers, actually.
01:29:39
Speaker
i mean, you know what they do? You want to save this universe in some bizarre way? You do, like, a Suicide Squad, where all these characters you didn't like just get eliminated in the first, like, ten minutes. Yeah. Yeah.
01:29:56
Speaker
Here comes the best character anyway. Yeah,
01:30:20
Speaker
yeah it's like he's he's sort of like a speedster, but he's not a speedster. He's like like hypnotizing them. It's it's really weird. But it's just mostly like he he doesn't kill them. He does all these like goofs to like always be behind them and sort of like untime, unfreeze.
01:30:36
Speaker
So yeah, it's like a speedster. Essentially, this character could have been speedster. yeah It's better that he didn't kill them, though, because now he's in their head. They know at any time he can kill them.
01:30:57
Speaker
Why is the lawyer joining her? Like, joining this?
01:31:05
Speaker
Because her friend got murdered by gangsters, and then, like, Kraven is, like, killing criminals? Yeah, but, like, she could still help him from afar. She doesn't need to go to Russia. Far Russia. Yeah, far eastern Russia.
01:31:19
Speaker
To watch her friend get attacked by a leopard. Yeah.
01:31:28
Speaker
yeah They just do this every Tuesday. yeah He's doing like judo against this like jaguar.
01:31:39
Speaker
If he armbarred it and it tapped out. That would be amazing.
01:31:49
Speaker
And then they kiss. Anyway.
01:31:55
Speaker
Anyway.
01:31:59
Speaker
bleeding.
01:32:01
Speaker
i mean, have you guys ever had like a cat that loved to scratch? It's the same thing, I guess.
01:32:37
Speaker
I like how they get like a foreigner backstory too. Just insert it here. At the... Oh god, like the third act. think I think. Time makes no sense in this movie anymore.
01:32:51
Speaker
But when are we going to find about out about those yellow boots? Where are they? Put them on, foreigner. don't know.
01:33:08
Speaker
I don't know. I kind of... Do you want, like, a muscle-bound guy? Because that's how, like, it was in the original comic, where he just was a merc that had, like, a gimmick about giving you, like, a headache while he tried to kill you.
01:33:19
Speaker
And then this, he looks like a very posh, like, barista that, like, would sass me if I didn't order correctly in the right, like, Italian word for, like, large.
01:33:33
Speaker
I think you... You're going to have the muscle-bound showdown between Rhino and Kraven. I see. So that's why they had to have... Yeah, it can't be a bunch of... Big dude versus big dude. Bunch of bros bro-ing out.
01:33:49
Speaker
Why does Kraven have modern like archery? I feel like cheating for him.
01:34:14
Speaker
Am I the only one that keeps thinking they're saying rosary beads? Yeah. had to put subtitles on to understand what you mean.
01:34:45
Speaker
feel grandma was more of a Calypso than she's a Calypso. For sure, yeah.
01:35:13
Speaker
So that was the worst special effect in this movie. don't know if you guys saw it. No. What did I miss? um So you know how like in this like in this scene, like she's like moving around, her head's like bobbing around, her mouth is moving, her eyes are moving. ah Like ah couple cuts ago, literally the only thing they were moving was her mouth and her eyes.
01:35:42
Speaker
Holy crap. I did miss it. I missed that. i Yeah, like, ah obviously we're not going to go back now, but like, yeah. Go back and watch that. Like, it is it is jarring.
01:35:56
Speaker
They didn't want to do a retake, so they did like a CGI of where she was standing to that. Is that a post? Just cut the craven while she's talking.
01:36:08
Speaker
You have to have B footage of him just doing things in that kitchen. And just do that, a voiceover. Or cut to like a close-up of the flower. Or something. Anything.
01:36:19
Speaker
yeah Anything. It could have been an outside shot. Also, I think we talked over like the worst line of this movie, where Clipso's like, my grandmother died and I never saw her again.
01:36:31
Speaker
Well, when did this happen? That day. That day I saved you. like Everything happened that day
01:36:40
Speaker
such a It feels like like AI translated from another language where it's like, yeah, she died. My grandmother died. I never saw her again. It's like, yeah, that's what death is. like Yeah, I know what death is.
01:37:08
Speaker
So, the Rhino has no vendetta, right? He's just he's just another mob guy. he He thinks he's on Kraven's list, and so he's killing Kraven because you can't get off Kraven's list. That's his only motivation.
01:37:22
Speaker
I see. So he's paranoid. Yeah. It'd be hilarious if Kraven was like, I don't even know who the hell you are.
01:37:37
Speaker
Oh, this is awkward. but but New phone, who did? but
01:38:02
Speaker
They were only like 10 minutes away, right?
01:38:08
Speaker
i mean, apparently.
01:38:12
Speaker
Because he called from like that plane. He could have done this like outside the house.
01:38:25
Speaker
Because now he gave Kraven prep time to do like a messed up home alone.
01:38:32
Speaker
was little bit of his knives. Yeah. Yeah, what if one of those little things that dropped out had micromachines on it? And he's like, alright, just put these by the window.
01:38:44
Speaker
Oh my god.
01:38:50
Speaker
That's just the neighbor.
01:38:54
Speaker
I mean, I guess the the benefit of being so slight is that you easily slide under that car.
01:39:05
Speaker
Like, was that part of Craven's plan or that just happened by itself?
01:39:12
Speaker
Like, did Craven sick the jaguar? He told her, like, go kill them.
01:39:20
Speaker
I wish they hadn't spoiled this in the trailers, this bear trap thing. it's Oh yeah, I saw that.
01:39:29
Speaker
And it's so quick. Yeah, but it's cool. I thought it'd be like a saw thing.
01:39:36
Speaker
Oh my god, that guy is so dead. So it becomes like Predator? Yeah.
01:39:51
Speaker
I mean, this is basically Home Alone, right? Yeah, yeah. like I called it as soon as I kind of figured this point, but I can't tell that's good writing or bad writing.
01:40:06
Speaker
If you had a preserve, you wouldn't booby trap?
01:40:10
Speaker
You wouldn't have just ewok traps set up all over? Yup, yup, here comes danger.
01:40:18
Speaker
But like, does he always do this because like the poachers come to his house a lot first?
01:40:27
Speaker
don't know. He was definitely ready. And it was in that very specific part of of the preserve. The one wooded area. Yeah.
01:40:43
Speaker
Uh-oh.
01:40:57
Speaker
Oh, no, Spack, there's my moral hunter enemy. This is such a shoehorned Yeah, congratulably obligated spider appearance. Get it? Spiders?
01:41:12
Speaker
Is he afraid of spiders in the comics? I don't remember. i don't i don't know if it was because of spiders, but I thought it was because it was the ultimate prey. But oh this is... there I don't remember this.
01:41:24
Speaker
I feel like this is shoehorn so shoehorned in for natural thing, you know? yeah I mean, there are other spider villains in the like Marvel Universe that aren't Venom and you know other things. So you could have the Arachnia man or something, or the Tarantula.
01:41:41
Speaker
Oh, Tarantula. well that yeah So like they could have done that. But I like that it's like it shows you like your worst fear and that it's spiders that we've never referenced or hadn't mentioned anything about before.
01:41:55
Speaker
If they did like an Indiana Jones thing where he fell into a pit of spiders as a kid and that gave him the phobia and fear. If they'd given us like a 20 minute flashback of him like yeah studying spiders. but then An additional 20 minutes of flashback. Yeah.
01:42:13
Speaker
Wouldn't his fear be like Russell Crowe? Like his father is his ultimate fear something? take like him Becoming him? Could you imagine hundreds of little Russell Crows sliding down a way? Or like Aaron Taylor Johnson's head on Russell Crowe's body.
01:42:30
Speaker
yes like you you you became You became me. You became Potato Man because of that vodka.
01:42:45
Speaker
See, this is very Mysterio, from Far From Home especially, but it works. I love this fight. like I like that he just was punching a log.
01:42:58
Speaker
It's fine. it's at I'm surprised it's a fair matchup.
01:43:27
Speaker
Is that a Snoop Dogg reference?
01:43:31
Speaker
Oh. I feel like Calypso's never heard him has any idea of what his gimmick is that she just like drops that one-liner. Yeah. I don't know why counting it, but this like this sounds cool.
01:43:45
Speaker
Also, Calypso's dressed in like tactical like night attire. She's a lawyer. What's going on here? It's for when you want to go to the club. ah so but like You think there might be some violence. A knife fight?
01:44:03
Speaker
Yeah, those bracelets. She's wearing Black Widow bracelets. what's Like a dart gun?
01:44:13
Speaker
god he's even He's getting more animal. I got some voodoo chants and stuff. and
01:44:24
Speaker
Wait, did she have to hit him in the heart like the last first time? like
01:44:29
Speaker
Well, they were like doing CPR out it, guess. Okay. But nothing bleeded it into him. Not yet.
01:44:41
Speaker
Is that guy going to turn into an arrow now?
01:44:49
Speaker
She seemed really calm for taking a life.
01:44:54
Speaker
Yeah, for a lawyer who has never taken a life before? That's true. yeah She's all in.
01:45:18
Speaker
I mean, you'd think he would want a body, right? Mm-hmm. I'll take your word for it. Yeah. Do they even go back and pick up, like, foreigner? it's so Also the foreigner disappeared.
01:45:31
Speaker
Yeah, he wanted to walk back. It's fine. got his good steps in. and Yeah, they're miles away from, like, any car service or anything.
01:45:53
Speaker
And why is Dimitri smiling? Does he know about Kraven's powers?
01:45:59
Speaker
To control animals? Is that is that his power? How does Dimitri know this? Let alone... ah Like... Has Dimitri been here before?
01:46:10
Speaker
don't think so.
01:46:16
Speaker
he doesn't know that Kraven can do this? How did those idiots not see the things coming?
01:46:24
Speaker
And their boss literally just said, you guys see this?
01:46:39
Speaker
Oof.
01:46:42
Speaker
CJI budget is just like, dwindling, isn't it? See, I think this is passable. It looks good enough.
01:46:51
Speaker
And it's just a fun setup. Them fighting like this. Yeah. But he specifically it hurts when he lets his like skin like harden. yeah But now he's but now was fine.
01:47:07
Speaker
but Once it's complete, then. Yeah. It's like when Wolverine pops his claws out. Once they're out, doesn't hurt.
01:47:16
Speaker
He's so angry, it doesn't hurt anymore. His guys are in that truck, also. All of them dead. Dead, yeah.
01:47:28
Speaker
Oh my god.
Critiquing Film Techniques and Strategies
01:47:31
Speaker
See, whoa this is wild. The car is flipping all over the place. It's fun. I get certain aspects. I'm in on it now. And instead of a circle of fire, it's a circle of will.
01:47:41
Speaker
well
01:47:51
Speaker
Man, they did not like scale him right. He's all top-heavy like this.
01:47:57
Speaker
like When you see the Rhino, he he's like a tank of a person. This one, he's just like all all like traps. This guy skips leg day every day. like Rhinos are heavy top and bottom. you know like
01:48:17
Speaker
like The legs are his weakness? Is that what they're going to point out? Because he's just top-heavy?
01:48:31
Speaker
Ah, jeez. Mike Raven, get the power of the rhino for yourself, or the power of the hippo. Yeah, let him let him bleed into you a little. Yeah.
01:48:47
Speaker
Oh.
01:48:57
Speaker
Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. okay
01:49:05
Speaker
Oh no, my one exposed weak point. His porthole.
01:49:16
Speaker
I mean, he could have stabbed him in the eyes, right? Probably. Because the eyes aren't armored.
01:49:28
Speaker
Oh, what if he got some crazy cataracts? Just like stone eyes all over the roof. Oh, yeah. Uh oh, you've done for now.
01:49:45
Speaker
Spider-Man wouldn't have done that.
01:49:51
Speaker
You just kept with Fawcett. but
01:49:57
Speaker
Remember who you are. It was me.
01:50:19
Speaker
How does Spider-Man normally beat the Rhino in the comics?
01:50:24
Speaker
Uh, like, usually smashing him into, like, a wall. Yeah. Or, like, he falls into, like, pits. and That he can't get out of. Yeah. I can't climb out of here. I'm big all over.
01:50:43
Speaker
It's never like a contest of strength. It's always like Spider-Man confuses him and then he gets angry and does something stupid like falls into like like trash compactor. So are you're telling me never once does he stab him in his little side pee hole?
01:51:01
Speaker
His power
01:51:07
Speaker
I mean, he's this guy's essentially Bane. Oh, sure. Yeah. and like Bane was smart. Yeah, Bane was a tactical genius. this this His plan was to like become a rhino and have a fistfight.
01:51:23
Speaker
Those were two solid action sequences back-to-back, though, where he defeats both of those guys. Yeah, yeah. and oh that That was actually not bad. And in theaters, I was on board at this point. like you know it but in In terms of the action, anyway. Yeah.
01:51:37
Speaker
There's so much not going right that when those that 20 minutes happened, I was like, this is fun.
01:52:22
Speaker
Who was the other tent for?
01:52:27
Speaker
All of Rusko's friends.
01:52:31
Speaker
One's his even day tent. One's his odd day tent. Let's just switch it up. That's where he takes the dump.
01:52:40
Speaker
One is bathroom. One is kitchen. One is living room. This is my tent mansion.
Kraven's Unexpected Path
01:53:27
Speaker
Well, Kraven accidentally became the mobster and enforcer, so...
01:53:33
Speaker
Cool. Something he didn't want to do, but ended up doing.
01:53:41
Speaker
Son, don't you know how cool a nickname you, Kraven the Hunter? You're our family hitman.
01:54:06
Speaker
How cool would be if he turned into a lion in this scene and just started mauling him? Because of the extra, like, Calypso juice he got? He becomes, like, the Dr. Jekyll scene in, like, ah The Mummy. Yeah.
01:54:22
Speaker
I have a secret toot, Sergei.
01:54:53
Speaker
Oh no.
01:55:03
Speaker
Wait, what is Sir gonna tell that bear? Just wait until I have a moment, like, you'll understand my dialogue, and then when I'm done talking, like, then come kill my dad. Like, you know, he had to do that Bear. Yeah. Yeah.
01:55:30
Speaker
but It's like, ah, he's right there. Would you go there if like someone had been like there had been a shootout like a week ago? It was a year later.
01:55:42
Speaker
Under new management? but I mean, technically, yeah.
01:55:50
Speaker
I mean, there are dumb places in Chicago still that like say that back in the thirty s there was like shootouts at this bar. People still go to it.
01:56:13
Speaker
These two are good together. I like them both as these parts. And if it had gone, if this universe had gone on, I would have been happy with them. Yeah, they've got like a nice buddy, like contrast that like, you know, normally this would be like any kind of best friend dynamic slash like brother or like coworker.
01:56:33
Speaker
Yeah.
01:56:35
Speaker
And like the family drama in this movie is pretty well set up too in this movie. So like there was a sequel that like them clashing would have been great.
01:56:48
Speaker
Mm-hmm.
01:57:13
Speaker
I have bears.
01:57:22
Speaker
It was a bear. It was a bear.
01:57:27
Speaker
Don't lie to me. No, no, it was bear. It was a bear. yeah No lies detected.
01:57:40
Speaker
What did he tell them? It was a hunting accident. But clearly their father was bawled by a bear. You can't hide that. Unless the bear was terrible at hiding evidence and was just like planning shit.
01:57:55
Speaker
Alright, this is a fun shot. That I want to see again. i wanted to pause this. What? What? Oh a little... It's not over yet. It's not over yet.
01:58:10
Speaker
Oh, look at that. That's a legit surprise.
01:58:20
Speaker
That is very CGI, but it is very fun to see that.
01:58:27
Speaker
A what?
01:58:30
Speaker
Oh, I must be a couple seconds ahead. Sorry.
01:58:39
Speaker
So, like, in the comic, that was, like, a mask that let him, like, put adhesives and stuff in the the original, like, appearance. um So then they legit turned him into, like, a chameleon, like, superpower man?
01:58:53
Speaker
Yep. he would He was the same doctor as Rido. Yeah. Well, maybe he's wearing a mask, and this is also, like, a projection on the mask of himself.
01:59:14
Speaker
Was it more weird family notes to leave you?
01:59:20
Speaker
Oh, here you go, Chris. Buckle He left him... stop What? He left you that thing Chris was asking about. oh
01:59:32
Speaker
Like, as a joke? Yeah. Like, he made a... Wait, did Russell Crowe sew this what? Like...
01:59:41
Speaker
That was what was in the tent. Oh my god, guys. The other tent had this in it. I was kidding about the note. It actually fucking came true. What?
01:59:57
Speaker
Why did he have, like... But see, Russell Crowe gave him better notes. he gave parenting skills, like, on the note than he did in person.
02:00:10
Speaker
Oh, boy. If someone gave you that, would you put it on? like I guess you gotta try it all once. Yeah, I mean, you gotta see how you look in it, right? Yeah, it really shows off my arms. Instead of your cool throne, like... Now manspread.
02:00:27
Speaker
Come on. you know Get sexy with it. Yeah, lean back. Come on, abs. yeah You're an Amric Amri and Finch, like, African warlord now.
02:00:39
Speaker
That's how the Sony Spider-Man universe ended. Is there no post-credits scene? Nope. Oh, bummer. Alright, well, I'm just gonna mute that then.
02:00:52
Speaker
Alright. This was a movie.
02:01:01
Speaker
There were a lot of decisive choices that won, I guess.
Ranking and Cultural Impact
02:01:11
Speaker
So, where do you rank in the where do you rank this movie in the other Sony, Spider-Man, universe-adjacent movies? It's not the worst one I've seen.
02:01:23
Speaker
Like, surprisingly, Venom, and then, like, Venom is higher than this. Like, Venom 1, at least, is. And then, this is just, like, in the middle. Like, there are a lot of cool ideas, cool, like, interpretations, like,
02:01:39
Speaker
But, like, you could see they were just, like, grasping at straws to kind of, like, do a plot device. And just you had so much better material out there that worked.
02:01:51
Speaker
Yeah, I think it's, like, it's too complicated a plot, basically. Like, if they focused on the family drama, I think I would have liked a lot better.
02:02:01
Speaker
My big thing with this one is that it's just it's a little too drawn out. I think there's ah a good movie in here. I think the family drama is set up really nicely. I think the back half action sequences are great.
02:02:12
Speaker
um And I love the cast. The cast are all good. But it's there's an like you could edit this down and there's a good movie in there somewhere, I think. But for me, it's the dead last Sonyverse.
02:02:25
Speaker
like It was just such a disappointment. I guess I was expecting more.
02:02:32
Speaker
Yeah, it's compared like the other ones where they all have like some weird craziness to them, like this one's kind of like bla like more bland yeah and like generic. it's It's more like a generic R-rated revenge movie. Yeah.
02:02:45
Speaker
It doesn't it doesn have, like, Tom Hardy climbing to a lobster tank or, you know, people getting killed by giant Pepsi signs or... but like To me, I don't mind that being terrible, but, like, I'm going in, I'm like, they they said whatever. Like, they gave... Like, I think Madame Web is the worst movie of that, but I get where, like, they tried with this and it's bad.
02:03:04
Speaker
That one, like, they gave up and it's bad. So it's like... this I guess I can see where like everyone has... like It makes sense. like It's just a spectrum of like what you've seen so far and then what you enjoy about that particular movie.
02:03:18
Speaker
But in terms of... like Let's say you don't come in as a comic book fan. You don't come in as like anyone with a prior knowledge of these movies. This is your first Marvel movie somehow. Yeah. I've heard lot good things about those Marvel movies. I think we're going to watch Kramer the Harker.
02:03:34
Speaker
Yep.
02:03:37
Speaker
So that's that's where I feel like, oh, it's insultingly weird, but it's not terrible as like your first entry and then you like you back out and then someone goes, no, no, no. Like you started wrong.
02:03:48
Speaker
Start from this one.
02:03:51
Speaker
because that's going happen. There's going a whole generation from now that's going to unearth these movies again somehow. For sure. Celebration of like, were these bad? And then they watch it and they're like, it was. like it's It's hard to... It's not like where um years from now there might be like a resurgence, like a hipster movement of watching bad Sony movies where like...
02:04:11
Speaker
someone starts to appreciate them better and like they attempt like something else they go back kind of what they do with Daredevil where like it was kind of buried and then they reemerged and it became like such a better concept later on. There's potential for that here.
02:04:23
Speaker
I love it when stuff like that does happen and I think this is an important movie in for Craven in that, like the next time Craven shows up, people in, in pop culture will be, Oh, we know who he is. He's in that terrible movie from years ago.
02:04:38
Speaker
And the same way that like you, I mean, you could bring Aaron, Aaron Taylor, Aaron Taylor Johnson back in secret wars as Craven and people would love it the same way that they loved it. When the spoilers for daredevil Maureen, but when ah Electra and blade show up, like Electra wasn't a good movie, but people were happy to see her because it's just a thing, you know,
02:05:00
Speaker
And I think that there's value in this movie just in that another 100,000 people know who Kraven the Hunter is. Do you know what I mean? Do it's 100,000 people? Time!
02:05:14
Speaker
so So there's a fun story. I bought like a Kraven the Hunter like t-shirt back in 2004.
02:05:22
Speaker
14, 15, like at a like a nerd comic book shop. like A nerd flea market thing, right? Like a com like one day comic book store thing. Or sale. And like I bought it and I wore it out and you could tell no one knew who the fuck I was like like rocking. you know like It's such a it's the like the original Craven look.
02:05:40
Speaker
And I don't wear it out because it's like kind of embarrassing because you're like, well, someone's like, whoa, this is Marvel, but like who's that? And you're like, ah I can't explain that. You know, it's such a deep cut character back then. You're like, yeah, he's a guy. He hunts things.
02:05:51
Speaker
He looks like this. it gets better. Sort of. So, yeah, like, it's good that he did make his first popular, like, pop culture appearance. And it's like, they attempt it. So there's always a chance there's a second attempt later on.
02:06:07
Speaker
Right. That's the redemption. I will say the the worst thing about this movie is the fact that because this movie exists, they could not use Kraven in ah No Way Home.
02:06:20
Speaker
He was supposed to be in that? they were not able to use him in in that movie. yeah And it would have been a different movie. um like i would I would have loved to see Kraven Hunter hunting Spider-Man or hunting Peter Parker even. See, I want a whole movie of that instead of it being just one-sixth of villains. you know Well, I mean, it could have been that, but we don't know. But because this movie exists, Kraven would not be able to use it.
02:06:50
Speaker
So like in the comics, they did that. Like whenever he was in town for his revenge, he would stalk Spider-Man. He would actually like try to um there's this one great part near where like, you know, the the last saga where like his last great hunt where he he he starts ah in order for him to hunt Spider-Man. He tries to like stop crime to get in the mindset of Spider-Man.
02:07:10
Speaker
wow like He dresses up like Spider-Man in his black outfit and everything. like It's a very... like You could see he's trying to like a different approach this time. And it's like it puts him in more of the kill. Like, okay, now I know my prey.
02:07:21
Speaker
See, that's fascinating. I'd love the movie be like that. That'd be great. Yeah. Just give me that. He observes Spider-Man. He's like, alright, in order to understand Spider-Man, I need to become him. and then like That's what hunters... At least the ones in... like you know legends and stuff. They always say, like, be the prey.
02:07:38
Speaker
yeah See the world to them. and don't know. Sometimes they do it weird. But this one, they were like, he did none of that. he He didn't know where to go. He had to ask Calypso, like, directions.
02:07:49
Speaker
He had to, like... He basically had to get sort of kidnapped to kind of find answers. Like, it's a different, like, take. I am the greatest hunter in the world.
02:08:00
Speaker
um Could you find this one guy for me, please? Yeah, this is one guy. Yeah. i I did not realize what you meant by that too. Like how big of an impact of like, so you mean to tell me the only thing stopping him and into like everything else was just like, he didn't know his name.
02:08:15
Speaker
Like he didn't know where to go. and he needed the lawyer to say, yeah, that's him.
02:08:23
Speaker
But he's been fine before that. He's been hunting like, ah like several guys before that. Oh my God. Across the entire world. Like he breaks, He broke into like a Siberian prison and got that guy. Yeah, it would have been one thing if like he had to protect her because you know she's like a witness or she's on like another hit list.
Thematic Critiques and Improvements
02:08:42
Speaker
like She's on their hit list.
02:08:44
Speaker
So in order to like draw them out, he has to use her as prey. Something! Something hunting related! but
02:08:53
Speaker
No, it's just that random like, I had to bring this tarot card back to you. and Also, by the way, can you help me find this guy?
02:09:00
Speaker
He asked so many girls about the tarot card. You can't get that right the first time. Were you were you would like on safari in Africa in 2005 or whatever year that was?
02:09:12
Speaker
Weirdest pickup line ever. but that Did you pour a weird serum into like a die ah ah boy that got mauled by a lion?
02:09:25
Speaker
I did not see any of that coming. When you guys warned me about the voodoo magic and all that, I was like, okay, why how are they going to introduce this into him? And then it's like, a kid performs magic the first time ever?
02:09:40
Speaker
just like that she like gets it and like we like like not even probably like half an hour later like uses it. Graham's like, graham was like youll you know when to use it 20 minutes from now. Was she a force ghost?
02:09:53
Speaker
I think she was alive and she died she she died afterwards and Clefson never saw her again. Yeah, she must, like, like you guys were mentioning, she probably died, like, right after that meeting, because, like, they were on safari, like, they probably went back to her, like, after the incident.
02:10:10
Speaker
So she was probably dead then.
02:10:16
Speaker
It wasn't like she she transferred her witch powers onto the granddaughter in some ceremony or like even more messed up like a body possession thing. just skipped that. The grandma was not needed at all.
02:10:28
Speaker
Right. What if she embodies the lion and then brings Kraven to the girl? Guys, should we write the Kraven movie? um I mean, we can, I don't, like, honestly, I don't know that we could do work.
02:10:46
Speaker
It does give me confidence that, like, anyone can write a movie, you know? It's just, like, how how much refinement you get until, like, it's sellable on, like, Sony or, like, ah Netflix streaming. You just really gotta lower the expectations.
02:10:59
Speaker
Just have a dartboard of, like, a bunch of Marvel characters and throw darts at it, and then whenever ones land on it, you make the movie based on them.
02:11:06
Speaker
but some pop here's the thing At some point, they got lucky in a coherent family drama, like action sequence, and then creative use of like a bear. you know't like it it got very like It got very escalating. because the bear is not hinted at in the beginning of the movie. the Russell Crowe doesn't even have like a bear statue. like you know like It's something where like it it comes out of like karmatic ending of like now the animals kill you, and it's like, the bear? The bear is the most random thing here, okay.
02:11:37
Speaker
probably should been like a lion or something. That would have been too on a lion. You you kill it leisurely lion, now the lion kills you. Yeah, see, that that would have been the karmatic thing, because then but the lion that like essentially like that um that is now Kraven's vest is now cool owl's outerwear.
02:11:57
Speaker
um That could have been like sort of on par, so now he basically is the alpha lion, like you know or or the like he's on that same level. I don't know. There's there's definitely like better artistic ways to kind of tie it all in. but yeah What if it was Dimitri dressed as a lion?
02:12:16
Speaker
He's the voice of a lion, so you're like, is that real? I can't tell.
02:12:22
Speaker
But it's just a hologram, so it's just sort of like he's sort of biting Russell Crowe's neck. Yeah.
02:12:29
Speaker
It's still the skinny version of Dimitri, but now he's like, you know, a bear head. And he's still the same height, like that five foot something. He's got that turtleneck on. got That mini AeroTar Johnson is so fucking hilarious.
02:12:44
Speaker
Oh, it's so jarring. And it's big is it because I'm not watching it 4K streaming? Like, it looks so goddamn bad. No, it's just, yeah, it's just like, i they put like a green mask on some like the actor's head and just like,
02:12:58
Speaker
paste Aaron Tyler Johnson's head on his body. They could have just done what they do in, like, Darkman. Just cut to another face. you don't need to show the scale. Like, like the scale ruins it. Yeah, they could have put Aaron Tyler Johnson in, like, a bigger so like a bigger suit. So, just, like, and then just had him stand little lower. Yep.
02:13:14
Speaker
Yeah. Could have just done that. I feel like that is kind of there's, like, a big weak weakness, like, chameleon's powers that he can't, like, it's gonna be fairly obvious, like, that he's not the person because he's so short. So, weren't you taller? Yeah, that is something crazy about the chameleon. I think, like, he only can impersonate people, like, samely ti the same size, at least back then.
02:13:34
Speaker
and like And everything else now, he can morph, like, physics. So, it's different.
02:13:42
Speaker
Well, he tries to become, like, Russell Crowe. He has to put on a fat suit and all that. Give me ten minutes, I will put on this fat suit and become my father.
02:13:55
Speaker
He's got Mrs. Doubtfire, like, but warehouse full of like, wigs and suits and... also will love the weird twist that half the movie you think that's Russell Crowe, but it's actually, like, Dimitri, like, secretly.
02:14:07
Speaker
Like, the Loki and, like, kind of Odin thing. Like, just, that would have been a fun twist. But, again, we're just giving out, like, better Kraven movies right here. You just have to listen through the whole Kraven movie to get to this goal. Yeah.
02:14:22
Speaker
yeah Good luck, future writers. This is really when they reboot the Sony Spider-Man universe. Like, Sony Spider-Man universe part 2, 2.0, they're gonna... They're gonna use these terrible ideas.
02:14:37
Speaker
Yep. Just the future people. No more bear kills in the woods. Just something different, please.
02:14:45
Speaker
And have Kraven actually transform into the animals he's, like, got the powers of, or, like, save the power he's using. At least casually mention the animal, yeah. Yeah.
02:14:57
Speaker
Yeah. ah Any final thoughts? up um For me, are thank you right you so much. RIP, studies. Yeah, RIP. and Thank you so much for having us come back with this because um this was better on a rewatch, I'd say.
02:15:11
Speaker
So I would recommend people watch this twice because the second time through is not bad.
02:15:19
Speaker
like That's why i was saving this. I saw this movie and I was like, there's no way. And because we did like Madam Web, I was like, oh, at least everyone here has a ah base understanding of like Marvel comics and the shenanigans that happen.
02:15:30
Speaker
Because I tried explain it this to like my wife and she was like, I want no part of this. And i was like, yeah okay.
02:15:39
Speaker
i feel like we I feel like we have to like get to back together again and watch like Venom Last Dance. Because that movie is fucking nonsense. Oh boy. I'm down for that. I like I like that movie. so I think it's my favorite of the Venoms. so
02:15:56
Speaker
and I love the sentimental montage. ah It's like, remember remember all great times you had with this trilogy that everyone kind of hated? it's Except for the first one.
02:16:08
Speaker
Let's look back at all the times of this meh trilogy.
02:16:14
Speaker
That was fun. yeah all the All the good times Tom Hardy.
Closing Remarks and Social Engagement
02:16:22
Speaker
But yeah, uh, is anything to plug before we, uh, sign off here? um so, I mean, we are, convention season is starting up. Um, uh, in April, we will be in Washington DC for Austin con and, um, Chicago for C2E2.
02:16:39
Speaker
if you go to digital pimp online.com, uh, you will notice it looks a lot different. Cause I just, uh, did a site refresh and hopefully everything is still working. Um,
02:16:52
Speaker
But yeah, you can find all the um the details of where we're going to be on our new site. And come see us at the shows and tell us what you thought of Kraven the Hunter. Well, you got to watch it twice. You have to watch it twice. If you didn't watch it twice, i don't want to hear anything you have to say.
02:17:10
Speaker
And and your ideas your ideas for the future of a new Sony Spider-Man universe. need one solid pitch.
02:17:21
Speaker
And you can head everythingaction.com and check out all of what we're doing. We've reviews, trailers, news, all kinds of stuff up there. over and check all that stuff out. And, yeah, so I'm Chris, Phil, Joe. I'm Zach. And we will see you next time.
02:17:33
Speaker
for more For Everything Action, head to www.everythingaction.com. You can also find us on Facebook at facebook.com slash everything.action and follow X at Evie Action.
02:17:47
Speaker
We're also on Instagram and threads at everything.action. find more episode of the podcast on apple a podcast spotify or your at podcast app of choice and be sure rate and subscribe