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Back In The Habit - Part 2
21 Plays7 months ago
Welcome back to the habit! It's Part 2 of our Sister Act 2 rewatch, and this time, we're putting the youth of 1993 under the microscope. In this episode, Eli and Joa delve into the differences between the film's characters and today's young people, breaking down everything from the iconic 90s fashion to the playful, in-person banter that feels so different from online interactions today. The hosts also discuss the transformative power of a mentor like Sister Mary Clarence, and how her guidance created a space for genuine growth and self-discovery that modern youth still crave. Join us as we compare the effortless style and playful interactions of the 90s to the 2020s and celebrate the way a good mentor can bring out the best in everyone.
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Transcript
Introduction and Context
Sister Marie Clarence's Message on Overcoming Fear
00:00:17
Speaker
At the end, when they're deciding whether or not to go to the Allstate competition, Sister Marie Clarence, Whoopi's character, is like lecturing them on them being afraid.
00:00:30
Speaker
And she's like, you know, anytime something new comes along, you guys run. This is what's wrong with you. You guys see something that you don't like and you pretty much give up. um Every time something scary happens, you run. And if you do this, you'll be running for the rest of your life.
00:00:46
Speaker
And I felt like that was such an important message for those that don't have the teachers and representation in their lives. Like if there's a kid, for example, if my daughter would watched this today, I think in my time being her parent, I've had, i would hope that I've had these conversations and I've given her that type of reinforcement, but I felt like it was such an impactful statement for her to make.
Teenagers, Challenges, and Potential
00:01:08
Speaker
And, you know, just, just knowledge that as a teenager, know, you need to understand, right. That there's going to be a lot of new things that happen to you because you're a new person, right? Like as a teenager, you feel like you've been here forever, but you have no idea what to expect when it comes to this thing called life.
00:01:28
Speaker
And therefore her point being that anytime something new comes along or something scary comes along, if you run, you will continue to run for the rest of life. And you will, in a sense, never achieve your true potential or be able to self-actuate to whatever it is that you are meant to be in this lifetime.
00:01:46
Speaker
And I thought that was such an important and powerful and impactful message to at least leave the viewers with before a magical moment where they go on to perform,
Facing Uncomfortable Realities
00:01:56
Speaker
right? But it was like, no, let's check in. Let's make sure that we understand that Everything isn't peachy and everything isn't comfortable. And in order to se succeed in this life, you have to really have to become comfortable with the uncomfortable.
00:02:09
Speaker
And that is just ah ah part of life. That's going to be part of the cards that you are handed. Right. That whole scene, first of all, I felt like I was being yelled at. Right. I felt like you're coming for my entire being. like And I go back to, had I had someone come straight forward in that way to me and shook some common sense in my mind, I feel like it would have been impactful as much as it was me watching it on a TV screen.
00:02:40
Speaker
Because it's true. And that message, whether you're young, middle age or older, that message is still true across the board, no matter what age, no matter what background.
Personal Anecdotes of Overcoming Fear
00:02:52
Speaker
If you keep running in fear, you're always going to be running for ah from something. And I love that though it was very firm and straightforward to them, it was the motivation for them to so push forward.
00:03:08
Speaker
And they did a great job by inserting that scene in that moment at the right time. Absolutely. Because I feel like we we all need those people that give it to us straight and say, okay, knock it off, get in there and do what you got to do. Right. You're better than that.
00:03:25
Speaker
I'm sure I had it coming up, but I feel like the time that I remember getting a talk like this was at bootcamp. Where in my adulthood, I can remember somebody looking me dead in my face and telling me to suck it up and that I that i had what it took and that you know even after I've quit on myself, they weren't going to quit on me Being in a position to care that much more than I did about my success,
00:03:56
Speaker
Going into boot camp, I was afraid of heights. They literally had to push me off of the platform for a swim call because I refused to jump on my own. I refused to hang ten toes. and And I'm sure they saw the same fear in my eyes when we're on the rappel tower and I have to jump.
00:04:09
Speaker
And I remember my senior drill instructor pretty much giving the same pep talk. And it was just like, what are you afraid of? If you're afraid of this, then just face it. Get it over with. Right. And her... her presentation wasn't as light and fluffy Sister Marie Clarence, but she meant it. And she meant her...
00:04:29
Speaker
The fierceness that she had in being able to look at the recruits, these young women that had probably never left their hometowns before arriving to the recruit depot. And now you're being put on a rifle range for two weeks and I have to shoot hundreds of bullets and you've never held a gun before. You have to swim after jumping 25 feet from the air or you have to repel, right? A zip line, so to say, and everything else in between, right? Because there's a... million other things that were scary that I probably have suppressed.
00:04:58
Speaker
But the the thought that we had the privilege, right, in hindsight, because hindsight is always 20-20. But for me, I felt like the first time I saw a woman that looked like me and were able to give me what I needed in a moment of doubt and were able to see the bigger picture and all of the power that I held, even in this small, a brand new 18-year-old, scared little recruit,
00:05:26
Speaker
I've never forgotten, right? I've never forgotten the type of motivation and just had strong dedication that they had to trying to extract the greatness out of all of us, even in the ones they didn't necessarily personally like. They still gave their all to making sure that they got the best out of us. And so for me,
00:05:44
Speaker
i saw Staff Sergeant Dinkins, I saw Staff Sergeant Cobra or Sergeant Rivera, right? Like I saw these faces that just motivated me when I thought that I couldn't. So, you know, for me, Whoopi's dialogue in that moment, or excuse me, her monologue in that moment towards the students was very impactful and just took me back to a time when I needed to hear those things.
00:06:04
Speaker
And it's funny that you bring that up because one of the hidden reasons why I picked this movie is because of the sisterhood. is because it was women helping women in the sense of the nuns went and found Dolores and was like, hey, we need you again.
00:06:23
Speaker
She was locked in. She was like, all right, got y'all. She's like, all right, i I'm here. Whatever you need, I got it. But how long are we doing this for? How long are we doing this for? And growing up, I didn't have that, right? I didn't i wasn't around women and I've expressed this to you.
00:06:41
Speaker
And the same as your experience, I didn't have that until boot camp. I didn't have that when I had my fear of heights. And I'm like, I don't know what you want me to tell you, but I'm not doing it.
00:06:55
Speaker
Right. Low key, I knew I was going to have to do it because it's part of training. Gotcha. But it was such a fear that I was so locked in my body that I'm like, I don't know what it's going to require or what it's going to take, but I don't know how I'm going to do that.
00:07:13
Speaker
And to have these strong women silently come over and say, stop making excuses and just do it. But with such a fierceness,
00:07:27
Speaker
It was such fearful moment because one, I'm scared to do the thing. And two, I'm scared of the consequences I'm going have to pay for after. If you don't do the thing. I don't do the thing.
00:07:41
Speaker
and you're still going to have to do the thing. So it's just like, this is a lose-lose situation. um But having such a strong women so come in and motivate in that way was like, wow.
00:07:56
Speaker
how was I missing this all of my life? And now I finally got it and I'm still scared, like, yo, back up. But I loved seeing that in the movie.
00:08:08
Speaker
And maybe some people don't think that nuns in general, like are that type of image. However, you look at their sacrifice, you look at their dedication, their discipline,
00:08:24
Speaker
In their heart, they wanted these kids to have an opportunity. They wanted change for these kids. And what did they do? They went to Vegas, sat in a show, went to this headliner and was like, can you come back with us?
00:08:41
Speaker
That to me is ballsy. right But they knew who they had, right? They knew who was in their corner. They knew what card to pull. and put on the deck.
00:08:53
Speaker
So they went, they got her, whatever. And to see this camaraderie of women for the goal and the mission of making sure that these kids are cared for, that they're seen, and that they create change reminded me too of the women that I had around me in boot camp, not just the drill instructors, but also the other girls that we, you know, we were in the, in the yuck with.
00:09:20
Speaker
In thick of it. In the thick of it. Learning how to, to Marine Corps. Right. And learning how to get out of our own fear, our own anxieties and to push past our own selves.
00:09:34
Speaker
And you see the transformation in the movie where they were so doubtful. They're like, nobody's going to want to see us. We can't do it. All this stuff. In the same way as a young recruit, not knowing nothing about anything. i know how to drew. What? how you don do love It's the same thing. Like, I don't know how I'm going to get through it.
00:09:58
Speaker
And also feeling like nobody thinks that you're going to do it. Right. right And it's so crazy. And I had this like blip of a moment where the first choir group that went on stage was the San Diego choir, gospel choir.
00:10:16
Speaker
And I laughed because I was this young kid in Trenton, New Jersey, who would have thought that my life would have taken me to San Diego. yeah And I'm like,
00:10:28
Speaker
Wow. The full circle moment watching this. I actually got to live in California San Diego. So. here I think in general, like when you're from the East Coast as a kid, you think California is so far away. you're not And I remember having the same feeling with Saved by the Bell. When Saved by the Bell cast went to college, they went to UCLA.
00:10:48
Speaker
And I remember thinking to myself, oh my God, the dream is to be in UCLA because I felt like California was a world away. And my first duty station, just so happened be San Diego, California. And I...
00:10:59
Speaker
I remember thinking like, wow, the universe, right? Life, God, whoever you pray to has a funny way of doing life with you and for you. Sometimes I wonder if those were like little nuggets when we were little, like, hey, ah just want to drop this thing into your orbit that maybe one day, because I look back and there are certain little things that either i experienced, I witnessed, I was around that,
00:11:29
Speaker
years, decades later, i'm like, oh, wow, I can kind of go back in time and remember these different things like San Diego gospel choir. As weird as that is.
00:11:41
Speaker
It's a series of connecting the dots. Yes. You got to be able to, yeah the dots have to emerge in order for you to look backwards, to reconnect them and and string them together to find the connections throughout life. And I think that for me in watching Sister Act 2,
00:11:58
Speaker
while I wasn't fully aware of the world in 1993, I think I was able to find myself, whether it was in the kids, right? Again, I didn't grow up in the inner cities, but I i see myself in kids that come from disadvantaged start points.
00:12:19
Speaker
So I take... a little bit more time to understand that it took my mom a lot of effort and time to make sure that I got in a position to not necessarily end up like the kids in the movie.
00:12:34
Speaker
And I think because my cousins were those kids, I'm not too far removed. So I still see myself in those kids because it could have easily been me. But I also see myself, and like I said earlier, in Sister Marie Clarence, which is I want to be able to reflect and represent a positive beacon of hope and inspiration and just reflection of your greater self as whether that's an educator or a mentor or if by chance I'm called in as a guest teacher or lecturer, right, for a group of students that just need
00:13:10
Speaker
a gem dropped because that's the way I look at it, right? Like you can't, yeah for me, i look at it as I'm just going plant seeds. yeah I'm not interested in seeing how the seeds necessarily blossom at this phase of my life because I know that those fruits will come.
00:13:25
Speaker
I'm very intentional of having conversations with young adults that propel them into the, yes, uncertain, but also the unexpected for their own understanding of their capacity.
00:13:39
Speaker
Like, i want them I want them to be mind blown by what it is that they can actually do. And I felt like that's what Sister Marie Clarence was doing throughout that movie. It was, you guys possess strong voices or you are capable of... She guided them into believing in themselves. Right.
00:13:57
Speaker
But also building them as a team. Like, she was very intentional of team building. And so when I looked at certain scenes, like, there was a time where she had them sitting in class doing the la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la, right? How it goes?
00:14:09
Speaker
No, no, no. And then eventually they get better, right? like but They sound like trash at the beginning, but they get better. And that was to me like, oh, they're first-phase recruits, right? Like we're learning how to march.
00:14:21
Speaker
are There's this special uniqueness when we go through something like the military, the Marine Corps specifically, where you're exposed to people that are 100% invested in your success because they understand how that affects their success.
00:14:39
Speaker
yeah And that environment is not a natural occurrence in society. And so we become these unicorns that get to come back into community and society and see and extract the greatness in others in hopes of being able to build the community that we long for because we saw and being a possibility during the time that we served.
00:14:58
Speaker
And I think that's a loop that we find ourselves in where it's like, we're so aware of the greatness in others and we know how to put in the time and dedication to building it. And because there's so few of us,
00:15:11
Speaker
a lot of us get burned out and we end up tapping out and, you know, or maybe we're not as efficient and impactful as we would like to be. But i just drew those parallels, you know, as we're, as we we're comparing notes in terms of just the impact and the relation to characters within the movie. and I just felt like as a kid, I had certain models, but my peers didn't. And so I want to speak for them and I want to be able to look at the kids in the Bronx and be able to relate in a way where I'm not a savior, but I am, what's the word I'm looking for? ah phone the hand
00:15:47
Speaker
An extension, right? An extension of the community that they are already immersed in. We have to do a better job of seeing each each other's strengths and extracting that.
00:15:59
Speaker
And I think that necessarily requires a church setting. yeah It just requires more awareness that it exists to begin with. One of my favorite scenes of the movie was when Rita was in the sanctuary or the chapel and she was singing with her friend.
00:16:18
Speaker
And she kind of has this moment where it's like, oh I'm not good enough or I can't I can't do what you do. And her friend comes back and says, no, but you're great. And like she's encouraging her and she's like, come on, I'll do it with you.
00:16:33
Speaker
That was such a beautiful moment. One of sisterhood. Two, the power of friendship. And three, how we really need to lean in with those that are so doubtful of themselves and lean in and say, hey, no, I got you.
00:16:51
Speaker
Hey, I'm here for you. Hey, I see better for you. That's what we like, you know, and that's what we try to be in our day to day as female Marines, because we see the potential in people.
00:17:05
Speaker
We see that people can be so much more capable if they were to get out of their heads. And that's what her friend did in that moment. Like, stop, stop being up here. Come on, let's just do it.
00:17:19
Speaker
There was a call to action. Stop thinking about it and just do it. Right. And that's literally been our lives, ae you know, as recruits, as Marines, and now women in this crazy world, having that type of experience of having women push us beyond our limit and beyond what we think that we're capable of.
00:17:41
Speaker
And man, it gets me every time seeing it because she starts singing, it's like, sis, how are doubting yourself with a powerhouse of a voice and next to another powerhouse of a voice? It's crazy.
00:18:01
Speaker
I still haven't figured out exactly what I want to be when I grow up. But the one thing I keep landing on is i want to be the person that a young person at a point of resistance in their life that is layered with circumstances that are beyond their controls, I want to be able to meet them at those points of resistance and guide them, recognizing that kids, especially kids that look like us,
00:18:27
Speaker
need somebody, right? That's just going to see and verbalize what it is that they need to keep going, but that it can't just be that I'm showing up in your classroom or walking into the bodega and saying, Hey, you're going to be great. Like I need to actually do the work and figure out where I can immerse myself in the structures that that provide the resources and the opportunities for these kids to be able to thrive and succeed.
00:18:53
Speaker
It's not enough to say, i want to see the good in others, right? You actually have to do the work to figure out where you fit in. And I think that you and I have found while different paths, right? Because mine is a little bit more secular, yeah um that it still comes down to community, love, compassion, understanding, understanding.
00:19:15
Speaker
just desire to see the good in man, period. And making sure that those are left that are left behind are given a fair shot towards realizing what it is that they are actually placed on this earth to do, whatever that may mean for others.
00:19:30
Speaker
And that makes me ah think about a scene with Mother Superior and Father Maurice. where she reminds him that they too were once viewed as radicals. Right, right.
00:19:46
Speaker
And here's the crazy part. She didn't have to do it herself. She knew who to bring alongside her, Sister Mary Clarence, to be the vessel, be the...
00:20:03
Speaker
the person to run with what she knew that community of people needed.
00:20:11
Speaker
Sometimes we may not be the ones to directly impact the younger folks, the the people who are struggling, the community around us.
00:20:24
Speaker
We may be the ones who are the connecting piece for others as a resource for those that we do want to impact. And I felt like that was such a beautiful moment because it spoke to her humanity, but also her reality that, hey, even as this head nun, she was checking this male religious leader and saying, hey, don't forget.
00:20:58
Speaker
we were like that too. And I feel like that was such a beautiful moment because for me, and I'll say this very like openly, you know I joke about it, like being a rebel or being rebellious as a kid and as an adult, but even also in the church.
00:21:15
Speaker
where i yeah absolutely he where where i had and i love my church y'all but there was a church that i belonged to that i had a male religious figure that caused me a radical feminists what does that mean it didn't matter what They thought it meant what I walked away with was I was proud of myself because I was so true to who I was.
00:21:49
Speaker
And I said, you're right. I am a radical. I am rebellious and I am a feminist. And I hold that very proudly. So when they thought that they were going to try to tear me down as if that was some sort of dagger to destroy my character,
00:22:06
Speaker
It only affirmed that they knew who I was. right And I wasn't going to stand for nonsense, for things that I didn't agree with that was happening around me. And I took a stand and I was glad that they recognized that I wasn't just a yes man, that I was just going to follow the crowd.
00:22:30
Speaker
I will stand for what isn't right, for what I don't like, for what makes me uncomfortable. Right. And this scene right here was, i kind of felt like I was her.
00:22:43
Speaker
Like I never want to forget who I am, where I came from and how I've been. And though she was a woman of grace, of eloquence, of, you know, calmness, because she was very stern and very direct and very structured, I feel like.
00:23:04
Speaker
She also knew what led her to that point.
00:23:10
Speaker
It took my life being this way to be blind and I kind of identified with her, which was so weird for me to identify with the mother superior whatever.
00:23:22
Speaker
But I kind of felt myself a little bit like her. Like, yeah, I never want to forget. was rebellious. Still am a little bit, but yeah.
00:23:35
Speaker
I always say that wisdom comes from life experience. For sure. And so to be wise, you have to be able to reflect back on who you were, why you were, how you grew, right? and And why your circumstances have brought you to this place now. And then the knowledge, obviously, to to continue going forward. So I think the the parallel that you drew with ah Mother Superior, is that what they her? I thought she was Mother Reverend.
00:24:07
Speaker
I don't know. We'd have to note check. But for me, I saw a true leader. yeah Like she, she displayed true leadership in terms of just being able to one, take a step back,
00:24:20
Speaker
look at the bigger picture, be able to self-reflect and be able to remind the father, right? Like we also had to do things to be able to move the needle, right? Like there, there was certain things that were frowned upon way back when, which at this point they're clearly elderly people. So we're talking about decades prior to the nineties where in the movie they had made rebellious acts,
00:24:43
Speaker
which makes sense. It aligns to history in the US s in terms of civil rights. If we're looking at timelines, then yes, the time would have called for them to be rebellious at some point prior to to that. And the fact that she was able to, like you said, be able to not only reflect on how far they have come, but also what it is that is needed in the moment to not only keep the school open, but also make sure that these students were taken care of and given some type of an opportunity, right? Because money was low, staff interest was also low, the community at large was affected by other socioeconomic conditions. And I feel like her ability to rein in the resources, as you have mentioned, is a key indicator of what women leaders today
00:25:32
Speaker
are very good at. We are very good at scanning the environment. We are very good at bringing in whatever communal resources we have. And we're good at reaching out and asking for help.
00:25:44
Speaker
And I think if we were able to ask for help more as women, men, children, but as a society, just be able to ask for help for the big and small things, we would be better off in the long run. Obviously that that that makes sense. But I feel like people really need to hear that.
00:26:04
Speaker
Yeah. And step out of the box. Right. Do something that may not be in the norm. Because if there is a desperation, which she explained that she was desperate, if there's a desperation, think outside of the box.
00:26:19
Speaker
Don't, don't keep doing what you've been doing. Right. That's insanity. Insanity. Yeah.
00:26:40
Speaker
we talk about how it's 2025, watching a 90s movie, but the style is coming back? Oh, yeah. Everybody's wearing baggy jeans, the vest, the polo shirt, the hats.
00:26:55
Speaker
The baggy suit. Yeah. I like it. Personally, i prefer it. I prefer it, yes. I remember when I was in high school, it was, you know, early 2000s. I graduated 06. I made sure to wear my baggy dress.
00:27:11
Speaker
Very in line. Thank you for that. You did not go unnoticed. um But yeah, like I wore baggy jeans and I wore... the, all the hats. I wore the led strolling light belts. I had rhinestone, everything, right. explains and neckla Yes. We were very, I feel like we were way more fashionable in high school than the fashion that, that came after. Like I remember it was a weird shift. I remember going on deployment in 2008. So I left on deployment in May.
00:27:41
Speaker
I returned in November When I left, we were wearing baggy jeans. When I returned, we were in skinny jeans. Little riders. And doing the stanky leg. And everything was fitting. and Clothes had completely changed in terms of style.
00:27:57
Speaker
was comfortable. It was very uncomfortable. It was very weird. And we kind of just adapted to that, right? It like, all right, well, fine. We'll wear fitted clothes now. And it is what it is. But I feel like the... the style of the 90s coming back with the flares and the Kangol hats and, you know, the LED this and the rhinestones and the low rise jeans and the cargo, the 19 cargo pants or 19 cargo pocket pants is more creative to me. It's more expressive to me.
00:28:28
Speaker
And I think that's one thing about the 90s that the 2000s has yet to beat it out on is how fashion, especially when it came to hip hop culture, yeah took over.
00:28:42
Speaker
You know what I love though? I love that we're getting away from the beige and the basic bland. I love Earth Tones, but can we, can we spruce it up a little bit?
00:28:56
Speaker
Like how? Okay. Can we bring back color? And this is coming from somebody who thrives in black. Okay.
00:29:07
Speaker
I love all things black. But do we want like the tri-color, like swishy sweatsuits? are we talking about like the pink, blue, purple? Listen, if you go rock it, rock it.
00:29:18
Speaker
But what I mean is like bland chicken, unseasoned chicken type of style. Like do something. Everybody blending together, wearing the same stuff.
00:29:30
Speaker
There's no individual style, look, vibe. And it's just, it's whack. It's been whack. I'm just grateful that the cheeks are being covered up a little bit more.
00:29:46
Speaker
Not all the way.
00:29:49
Speaker
It's still evolving, but I hope I don't sound like an old lady. Maybe because I'm a little... I know, whatever. Whatever. Then go listen to something else.
00:30:01
Speaker
But maybe because I'm in more of a modest era of my life where, you know, as a married woman, you know, church-going woman, whatever you want to say...
00:30:12
Speaker
I find beauty in being covered up. Like you don't need to be showing all the things everywhere. Like literally everywhere.
00:30:24
Speaker
So yes, keep bringing back the baggy jeans, the oversized tees and the cardigans. I'm here for it. yeah
00:30:37
Speaker
A blast from the past in watching this. The mama jokes. Yes. Yes. ah was rule say I I loved it. Yes. Love it. Miss it.
00:30:49
Speaker
But these could kids could never nowadays. They would have to chat QPT. Yes. Or they're too sensitive and they're offended and want to fight. And it's like back in the day, you could clown anybody all day, every day. And it didn't have to turn into something violent. Yes.
00:31:08
Speaker
It was a game. It was comical. It was comical. yeah i grew up with my uncle and my brother, and we would just do your mama jokes all afternoon, all morning. We would get them on the popsicle sticks from the ice cream truck, right? like So it was...
00:31:23
Speaker
It was so infused into the culture. Like, your mama's so fat, you know, when she steps on a scale, is it's a phone number. Or your mama's hair's so short, she uses rice as rollers. Or like, it was just, you know, endless in terms of the yo mama joke. So I love seeing that seed as well.
00:31:42
Speaker
Another thing that just like brought me back was musical jam outs or music. ah breakout dance sessions. Come on now. These kids, I'm going to need for y'all to get outside do some of this.
00:31:58
Speaker
I wouldn't say that I was around ah a big crowd of musical people. But were people outside rapping? Yes. Were people trying to do their little dance thing outside? Yes.
00:32:12
Speaker
Were people singing? Yes. Going to the bathroom, people singing? Yes. like And I miss that. It makes things so much more uplifting having that type of vibe in school. Yeah.
00:32:26
Speaker
I feel like kids nowadays are so afraid to showcase their talent. Because they don't want to filmed or recorded.
00:32:38
Speaker
They don't want somebody posting something that is them still developing or have that lasting impression and all that. And again, like it comes back to social media sucks sometimes.
00:32:53
Speaker
but then For these younger generations to grow up in because we didn't have that. We didn't have the fear of having something recorded ah used against us. Right.
00:33:06
Speaker
Like if you busted your butt outside playing double dutch, nobody had a video of that. You just had a story to tell. Right. You were either there you weren't. Yeah. And you had the memory to remember, like, you know, I had a good time. I busted my butt. We had a good laugh. It is what it is.
00:33:23
Speaker
And I feel like we had bigger skin back then. Yeah.
00:33:48
Speaker
So going back to the that sanctuary part where Rita's with her friend, she sings, they get caught, her friend leaves, and then she's there. and When the nun confronts her and she's like, oh, you know, you sing beautifully, like, why aren't you on the fire, blah, bla blah, blah.
00:34:04
Speaker
And Rita says, yeah, there's a lot of things I want to do, but I ain't going to do, so so what? And then she tells her, have you walked around this neighborhood lately? Not really living in the land of opportunity.
00:34:16
Speaker
Welcome to the real world, sister.
00:34:20
Speaker
That alone is just like, come here, sis, let me give you a hug. Because it's like, damn, to be at that age and to feel like you have no opportunity.
00:34:33
Speaker
I wonder how many kids in our own separate different communities and different schools feel that way. Even with so much what we perceive as so much opportunity at their fingertips.
00:34:50
Speaker
Their worlds are so small. I realized how small the worlds are for them when I was working with that nonprofit and I was working in the Bronx.
00:35:03
Speaker
Faten Island is very spread out. So you're not going, everything is drivable for the most part. It's not a walkable part of New York City. You're going to drive, maybe take a bus.
00:35:16
Speaker
In the Bronx, everything is by neighborhood. and sometimes just a block, right? So there's kids that have never left a like three mile radius because their schools, they bolday guys their their childcare facility, their parks, their, their, right? Their deals, they all live within a two to three mile radius, maybe even smaller.
00:35:47
Speaker
And so they never see, even in living in the Bronx, never see Manhattan. They never get on a train and go more than two or three stops before getting off back in their neighborhood or wherever they're headed.
00:36:04
Speaker
And for being, you know, the 2020s for me was very humbling. because it's not their fault, right? Like they have this world at their fingertips.
00:36:15
Speaker
They literally can see everything and anything around them, but their reality is very much condensed and experienced and lived in this very small radius of life. And,
00:36:30
Speaker
The city of New York is huge. And when I realized that you have kids that have never left but one hundred and sixty s where the or the 210s outside of getting on a train to go to school and they have no idea what surrounds them, it's very concerning, number one, right? Because we survived completely differently than what they're surviving on in terms of just independence and sense of direction and survivability rates, right? Like yeah it's different. And I think We are also to blame for that.
00:37:03
Speaker
We grew up so latchkey and free that when we had kids and we became more aware of the dangers in the world, we sheltered them and we had them more closely guarded and didn't let them venture as far.
00:37:19
Speaker
And now we we almost cursed them for the same circumstance that we created, which is you guys are naive and unaware and you feel stuck.
00:37:32
Speaker
But we created those conditions because we saw too much. We became too aware. It's just interesting. You said her mom, Rita's mom, led through fear and grief.
00:37:47
Speaker
And so it's not surprising that Rita would think that there's nothing out there for her if all she sees is a few blocks away. in her community. And that paints like the the image in my mind of her resting her head on her arms outside of the window and just looking.
00:38:09
Speaker
And how many kids feel that way. Like, this is all I got. so I'm never going to leave this neighborhood. i'm never going to leave what I'm told I'm expected to be.
00:38:26
Speaker
And that is a tragedy in itself. In a world with endless possibilities, so many kids feel trapped. So like watching this, you know, it breaks your heart, but it also makes you feel like, you know, there's hope and there's so good people that will find a way to encourage those that are not in good circumstances and you know hopefully become those that create change and create um an impact and be influential to others.
Humorous Recollections and Consequences
00:39:08
Speaker
about forging your parents' signature? my God, I got suspended.
00:39:15
Speaker
I got suspended in high school. Well, first off, I learned how to forge my mother's signature in middle school because they had it parents sign our planner every week. My mother wasn't about to sign that shit every week. She was a correctional officer. She was rarely home at the times that I needed her to sign things. So I learned how to forge her signature at a young age.
00:39:35
Speaker
That's not what I got in trouble for. What I got in trouble for was I was in ninth grade and, you know, you're fresh in high school. So you start getting influenced and your attention starts wandering. And so i used to be late to English class often.
00:39:51
Speaker
Yeah. And this English teacher should didn't play. Miss Wolf was not ah about any games when it came to you being on time and in your seat when that bell rang. And so me knowing that I knew I couldn't just show up and her be like, oh, it's all right. You're like two minutes late. Like if you show up late, she's going to send you to the office. So I started writing my own passes and forging the vice principal signature.
00:40:15
Speaker
Stop. And I got away with it for a while. And I remember there was one day I walked in like maybe five, six minutes late. I give her the pass.
00:40:26
Speaker
She looks at the pass because it's written by me, but it's signed yeah by her, which is likely, right? Not not uncommon. But I think she realized that it was too many times.
00:40:38
Speaker
where it's not written by the principal. So all that to say, we flash forward and in between periods, I guess she had took that pass down to the principal. So the next class, I get a phone call, come so um come down to the principal's office. I walk in there and the vice principal sits up in her chair and she's like, Miss Joa,
00:41:00
Speaker
you have some nerve forging my signature a hall pass for you to be late to English class. And she ripped me a new one. i got suspended for three days for that forge of a signature. And of course, when you're 14 in the ninth grade, you don't understand how severe an offense forging is. So i was definitely taught a lesson then.
00:41:24
Speaker
um pretty sure my mom took me to tour the training schools, juvenile hall. right after that to let me know where I could end up if I wanted to be in white collar crime and forging signatures on things.
00:41:36
Speaker
But I remember specifically that that's what jumped out. When I saw her forging her mom's signature on the permission slip, I was like, yeah play me I don't think that I started forging my mom's signature to get away with something.
00:41:49
Speaker
I truly loved her signature. I thought she had the cutest signature. So I would practice my cursive like to try to get the E because she has an E just like me for my first initial.
00:42:02
Speaker
So I wanted to practice the same way. But of course, when you're practicing something and you actually get pretty good at it it comes in handy and you can't help it. but your ours good Hello, of course, rebellious side, until you get caught and then you're confronted and you have to say, i didn't do it And your mom knows that.
00:42:28
Speaker
okay, something's a little fishy. And I'm like, no, you just forgot. You forgot. So it becomes a bad habit. But yeah, nowadays, um so I was telling you, I went to my high school reunion and the high school that I went to was torn down about seven years ago, completely all the way down.
00:42:48
Speaker
And they created this beautiful facility. To say the least, these kids are privileged with this building. hi High-tech equipment,
00:43:01
Speaker
the different types of rooms, classrooms. I was very impressed by it, but also what I really liked was that their security measures put into place.
00:43:15
Speaker
So if a student wants to go to the bathroom, they have to key out and they have to key to the bathroom. It's like a electronic key card and they have to like pass it, whatever.
00:43:29
Speaker
If they're in that bathroom for too long, it alerts the security guard. Security guard has to then go over and make sure that there's no issues, that they're not smoking, whatever.
00:43:42
Speaker
wow I was very impressed by that. And I was like, so if y'all got that just for the bathroom, I can only imagine what other security measures you guys have in place for things like a parent consenting to a field trip oh yeah or consenting to an activity in school to be a part of the choir. Like I can only imagine what students have to submit to in order for those things to be approved. Right.
00:44:13
Speaker
and agreed upon. So when I say these kids could never. They really can't. They can't get away with nothing. Thank God. Yes, but that's so not fun for them.
00:44:25
Speaker
Like I got away with a lot, but we didn't have surveillance everywhere we went. We didn't have GPS pinging us everywhere we went. I feel like for people, you know, my my daughter, perfect example. You know, she started middle school, sixth grade, and she has something similar where when she uses the bathroom, she has to log out.
00:44:45
Speaker
She requests like a smart pass or something like that. The teacher will approve it. She goes to the bathroom and then it times how long they were out on that pass before they come back. My daughter got in trouble with that. She she was out of class a long time.
00:45:01
Speaker
Like the first half of the year, they sent us a report and they let us know. And I showed it to her. And I was like, yo, first I asked her about it. She lied about it. Then I had to kindly remind her that technology is not her friend and that the times in which she lives will set her up for failure if she believes that she can be as sneaky as the generations that she is watching on her favorite movies or TV shows, because that is not real life anymore.
00:45:26
Speaker
And unfortunately, all of the technology that she is leveraging is a snitch and it tells, not only does it tell, but it is very specific in the way that it tells. And so, yes, they could never but ever get away with the things that we did and they could never experience school and getting an education and dealing with the but balance of relationships and roles between school and home.
00:45:55
Speaker
And it's again, like, yay, we've advanced. And also at the same time, I feel like there's so much... healthy relationship conflict management that happens in that gray space that we had, that we are better equipped to deal with others as a result of that freedom that we had to make mistakes and get checked on mistakes by adults that cared to check us on them.
00:46:20
Speaker
And now these kids, they just get a report that goes straight to mom and mom gets that report at home. And I'm right. Like, yeah, there's no middleman. Now it's just a report that comes out. The teachers don't even have to snitch.
00:46:32
Speaker
They don't got to say nothing. So back then it was, you know, a blessing to be rebellious because you learn so many different lessons that in your adulthood, for many of us, prevented us from doing things that were not good unsafe or on c where illegal.
00:46:51
Speaker
So like forging, right? If we would have continued that type of behavior you know into adulthood, it could have landed us in places that we would have never wanted to be in.
00:47:03
Speaker
I learned how to forge best in the United States Marine Corps. So, um, yeah, we'll leave it at that. and We'll leave it at that.
00:47:14
Speaker
But I just think like, again, it's, it's not necessarily like we didn't recognize that we're forging, right? Like we don't understand we're but we're committing white collar crimes. where yeah We're trying to make do we're trying to survive.
00:47:25
Speaker
And for the most part, These are victims victimless crimes. Nobody was hurt in the forging of the signature. Period.
Lessons on Camaraderie and Leadership
00:47:40
Speaker
So one of your questions is like, would we want to show this movie to a younger generation?
00:47:51
Speaker
and my response is yes. Yes. For the simple fact of the camaraderie, the fun that they had together al outside of all the technology, the lessons that you know were taught and highlighted, the importance of leadership and guidance, mentorship, leadership.
00:48:14
Speaker
investing in the future of our communities, of the world, of our children, is to give back to them in ways of building them up and spending time with them and, you know, helping them in areas that they're doubtful in or they're struggling in and just giving that time and attention.
00:48:34
Speaker
And so as a younger person watching this, I would only hope and imagine that it would give them that joy to see that if they don't have that, that it's possible in finding it.
00:48:50
Speaker
I think that's what I would want for my daughter. She didn't get to watch this the second movie. She watched the first one. She was a great fan.
00:49:01
Speaker
I think setting her down to watch the second one would definitely drive the points across that you just made, right? It's just being able to understand that regardless of circumstance, regardless of conditions set for you, that sometimes all it really takes is representation to mirror to you back something that you haven't seen in yourself or at minimum be able to remind you that
00:49:31
Speaker
in order to grow, takes hard work It takes being put in uncomfortable positions, dealing with uncertainty and being able to rein in those things that are in your control.
00:49:49
Speaker
And I think that's what these kids did. Right. Regardless of all of the things that the world had, you know, provided for them in terms of good luck and or bad luck.
00:50:00
Speaker
that if they were able to put their head down and focus on something and take advantage of the resources and opportunities that were provided to them, regardless of the fear and doubts that they carried, that good things can happen.
00:50:14
Speaker
And in a world where everything is so instant, it's hard for young people to understand why they feel the way that they feel or how to get after something when it doesn't work out for them the first time.
00:50:31
Speaker
And so I think to your point, for a young person watching this movie, it's a reminder that a lot of were the world's challenges have always been a challenge for their generation, but also for ours.
00:50:43
Speaker
And that no matter whether you grew up in the ninety s or the forty s or the twenty s that grit, perseverance, endurance, and hard work overall will get you far. And I think that's the lesson that I would want my daughter to walk away from watching this movie.
00:51:16
Speaker
Can I tell you something? Yeah. I did not know that it was like a Disney movie. production. I know it's on Disney because I watched it Disney Plus but I had no clue that it was Disney production so that's a surprise.
00:51:30
Speaker
yeah I think they did a great job yeah in terms of storyline, in terms of what I don't like is sequels that hang on too much to the first movie. Oh yeah. And I thought they did a great job just creating a new path for this storyline while connecting the ah authenticity of who the character was and how she came to be.
00:51:52
Speaker
i think they they paid great respect to that in terms of the first movie and and making sure that the The gap was bridged. Even the character development from Dolores, from her life in part one versus part two and the development and growth in her, not just as a headliner, but also maturity as a person to be such a pivotal person in this school.
00:52:22
Speaker
She definitely will see it again. So it's definitely a five for me because one, the music. Two, the character. And three, the messaging.
00:52:32
Speaker
Absolutely. I give it a five. Just because because I really don't have anything negative to say about it. I felt like it was consistent. They got the message across. It was fun.
00:52:43
Speaker
It was pleasant to see. I felt like any generation could relate to somebody within this movie. So yeah, I give it a solid five. Even if you're a non-religious person,
00:53:00
Speaker
I still feel like you can still watch this. Even if you are non-faith type of person, this still is funny, uplifting, and full of encouragement that it's not focused solely around the church.
Community, Mentorship, and Connection
00:53:23
Speaker
I think that brings us to a close. We've talked about... community. We've talked about representation and mentorship. We've talked about sisterhood. We've talked about our personal experiences growing up and the advantages and or deficiencies that we experience and how we hope to change the world for the generation that comes behind us and the importance that we have realized in connection and the lack thereof in a world that we are trying to thrive in now. And while we are
00:53:58
Speaker
Older. We are still very young in this cycle called life. And I think that we are in a unique position to bridge the gap between the old and the new and keeping track of the relics that make us a people, a society and a community.
00:54:15
Speaker
And so I'm very, very grateful to have had this conversation with you today because of all the people in my life. You are probably the oldest sister that I carry through this journey. And so I appreciate every single time we sit down, whether it's for a Coffee date, as we have learned to call it, or ah passion project that I'm working on or and ideas that you're throwing around for things that you'd love to do in your life. I'm glad that we can come together every single time and just chat it up, chew over some thoughts and compare notes and figure out how we can best expose our strengths and extract ideas.
00:54:50
Speaker
but the the powers that we both hold. Because I think that, like you said, it's a lost art to be able to just pick up the phone and reach out to somebody or sit down, you know, across from ah a table or on a park bench and just be able to connect on not only the goods of life, but also the bad.
00:55:10
Speaker
Social media has made it where but good, bad and ugly isn't necessarily part of the presentation anymore. We only get the good. We only get the strengths. And so it's important to be able to check in with each other, not only to reinforce and motivate, but also to check each other when we're not showing up as our best selves. And I think that in the last 19 years, we have pushed each other consistently and constantly and firmly to be the best versions of ourselves and to show up even when it's not as easy to do and today's world. So I appreciate you. Thank you. And I feel like this movie was definitely...
00:55:48
Speaker
speaks a lot about the importance of community and having these types of moments to talk into dissect hi present and hope for future because that's who we are and that's what we desire around us. And I hope that people are sparked by this conversation and are intrigued into how they can be those influential people around them.
00:56:19
Speaker
And if there's anything that they take away from this conversation is that main song. If you want to be somebody and want to go somewhere, just pay attention.
00:56:32
Speaker
Thank you so much. I hope to see you again. Please join us next time for new guests, old movies, and the uncomfortable truths we uncover along the way. With that being said, stay focused, stay motivated, love one another, have a great day.
00:56:47
Speaker
And we're out.