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Stepps Ain't No Square Dance
38 Plays7 months ago
What happens when a movie about dance becomes a springboard for a deeply personal conversation? This week, we're joined by my childhood friend, Jill, to break down Save the Last Dance. We go beyond the hip-hop vs. ballet dynamic to explore finding your identity as a biracial woman, and how the movie's themes of navigating two worlds resonate with Jill's own experiences. From our nostalgic tales of teenage nightclub days to the challenges of raising kids today, this episode is a raw and honest look at how our past shapes our present.
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Transcript
Introduction to 'Spoiler Alert' Podcast
00:00:06
Speaker
This show is not suitable for all audiences. Listener discretion is advised.
00:00:17
Speaker
dias mi gente! Welcome to Spoiler Alert, it's different now, the podcast where we lovingly ruin our childhoods by rewatching movies that definitely should have come with a warning label. I'm your host, Joel Rojas, and each episode, a friend drops by to laugh, cringe, and spiral with me through the cinematic relics of our youth. Because nostalgia is fun.
00:00:36
Speaker
Until you really pay attention.
00:00:41
Speaker
Rated R for Reflections.
Introduction of Co-host Jill
00:00:44
Speaker
yeah Welcome back to another episode of Spoiler Alert. It's different now. i am here today with my dear friend, Jill, childhood best friend.
00:00:54
Speaker
I have made it down to North Carolina for this special podcast. This is going be a really good time because she has a real perspective in terms of the different challenges that were faced in my childhood, ah where we grew up, the people that we were around. So it's going to be really nice to compare notes in terms of what we thought about this special movie. but I will allow Jill the opportunity to introduce this movie and why she picked
Love for 'Save the Last Dance'
00:01:16
Speaker
it.
00:01:16
Speaker
I loved Save the Last Dance a lot. And it was really funny watching it back. I don't want to give any spoilers. Still literally had the soundtrack in my car, like the CD, it scratches and everything.
00:01:27
Speaker
And it was one I've watched a million times. I didn't, we had like permission on what we couldn't, couldn't watch. So there was a lot of them that you suggested that I was like, I never watched that as a kid. I wasn't allowed to watch that.
Childhood Movie Restrictions
00:01:38
Speaker
So yeah, this is about to get deep. Your parents were, were real deal taking of, account for PG-13 and rated R movie? Oh, fuck yeah. Especially my my mom. My dad probably did not care.
00:01:50
Speaker
Yeah. I'm excited to talk through it with you. All right, well, let's jump right in. So this movie came out in 2001, which puts us at about 13 or 14 years old.
00:02:00
Speaker
um Tell me a little bit about who Jill was in 2001. and Figuring out who I was in the world, where to fit in, and clearly how to dance. So this movie explains lot. That's where I got my sick moves.
00:02:15
Speaker
um But yeah, 13, 13, those were a good time. What were we, like, freshman, sophomore in high school? think we're eighth going eighth grade going into freshman year. Oh. Yeah. It was that summer. Then I definitely had zero riz. And this was probably the coolest thing I had ever seen in my life.
00:02:30
Speaker
And that's how I felt, too. I felt like for the time, it was probably the blueprint for what I could expect in high school. Like, I think I took a real deal serious. What do you remember about watching it? So I was legit traumatized by the fact that her mom died.
00:02:43
Speaker
Like, I remember being like, oh, my God, I can never be mad at my mom if she's going to be driving
Siblings' Shared Movie Interests
00:02:48
Speaker
somewhere. Like, my sister and I, we both love this movie, which is funny because we both... We just hate. Like, we don't hate.
00:02:56
Speaker
But if she likes something, I hate and vice versa is what I mean. And we loved this movie. um So I remember that. Like, that that whole mom dying thing was, like, intense. I had such a crush on Malachi.
00:03:09
Speaker
Oh my gosh. I still have a crush on Malachi the bad boy. Don't tell my man. um he wont He won't care. I think Fred Rillstar died, right? he Did he? Let's Google it. Google it. I don't know. I was calling him Franco something. i was like, is he Franco, babe?
00:03:26
Speaker
I think he passed.
Fredro Starr's Status Check
00:03:27
Speaker
One sec. Let me you how we confirm this. Well, that really changes things. Because he's probably like 35 in the movie. No, stop it. Probably. i am a different They're grown-ups in these movies. That's the part that makes me uncomfortable. I did like that there wasn't any sex scenes. I feel like shows today have too much like graphic sex with teenagers, and it creeps me out. Agreed. I don't want to so stop it.
00:03:50
Speaker
So I like that they kept it like not not graphic, like PG-13. thirteen Is he alive? I can't look it but I'm not Wi-Fi. I'll look it
00:04:08
Speaker
He's 54 years old. He's not dead. Are you sure? Bitch, it's on. I'm reading it from Google. bad, Fredro. My bad. 54. Well, wishing you all the best.
00:04:19
Speaker
And he's from Brooklyn. All right. More wealth, more health, more life. Cheers to you, Fredro. My bad. Killing. My bad. Was he in The Wire? No.
00:04:30
Speaker
Fredro starred The Wire fandom. Maybe. Maybe he was. All right. These are rivals.
00:04:43
Speaker
I think I really liked Nikki, the mean girl. She was bad. was a sexy little mama. She was. i was so happy to see her come on the screen. And i was like, I remember having a crush on you. um Me too. um I liked, what's her name? You know, it's funny. I noticed Chanel.
00:04:55
Speaker
They call her Chanel and Chanel interchangeably throughout the movie, which we could really get deep into that. and I wonder if it's on purpose, but I just thought it was interesting to watch that. I like i liked her too. She was like Kerry Washington.
00:05:08
Speaker
I forgot that she was in that movie until I saw it again. And I was like, oh my God, she's a baby in this movie. And it's really nice to see that she was able to kind of like spread her wings and and ascend to all these other great roles. But it was nice to see her like as a baby because she really has been in this game for a long time.
00:05:24
Speaker
You need to watch Life's Hot in Cracktown. Life is Hot in Cracktown? Yeah. Is that real? Yeah. She's a trans woman in that. ah Is this an indie movie? Yeah. All right, going to have look it up. it's ah Yeah, i own't I own it too. We just don't have a DVD player.
00:05:41
Speaker
Oh my God, I have a Blu-ray player. Oh, I don't think I have a Blu-ray. I never got into Blu-ray. I can't even turn the TV on. You saw this. Well, text it to me. I'll look it up.
Re-watching and New Perspectives
00:05:54
Speaker
This is where we connect our experience from the past in viewing this movie to re-watching the movie in the last day or two. In your case, twice.
00:06:05
Speaker
And what hit differently this time? i forgot her dad was so, like, such a bum in the beginning. I just, I was from the perspective of a mom now looking at it. I was like, this poor little child, you don't even have a room for her She has nothing. You left the funeral. You have no food. I was like, God.
00:06:25
Speaker
And what hit differently? like the Malachi smoking in the the cafeteria like midday? I'm like, that's not happening. To me, like the whole drug dealing concept, the way they did that was so like over the top, in my opinion, that I was like, you're doing a lot. they're like The car lit on fire, and I was just like, but where is How did you light on fire?
00:06:49
Speaker
You clearly didn't watch it twice. No, I... i As they're like driving away, someone shoots it and the car explodes. did you but What was in the trunk? I don't know. Okay, we'll see. what That's kind of the missing piece that I was curious about. Because if you watch A Bronx Tale, for example, this scene is similar to A Bronx Tale where...
00:07:07
Speaker
The friends go out to cause mischief. They're pretty much taking retaliation on another neighborhood and they have these, mo what is it? Molotov cocktails, right? Those are the ones that you put a bottle full of liquor with a rag, for example, you let the rag on fire.
00:07:22
Speaker
So they had a ah a crate full of those in their trunk or in their car whenever they got into an accident, which is what caused the fire. In this case, I couldn't put the pieces together to why they just crashed and then they get shot and when they get shot and then the car's on fire two seconds later. It was just weird.
00:07:40
Speaker
feel like that's ah like
Film Critique and Character Analysis
00:07:42
Speaker
movie logic. just If a car crashes, there's a chance it's going to catch in flames. But also in accidents, shit does happen like that. I guess. Like, ever I don't know. I guess I just, I was a little, like, lost. i was like, I don't know. i feel like they could have done this scene a little better for Malachi getting caught up.
00:07:56
Speaker
It was just a little too rushed. Yeah, it was. And I do think, like, it got rushed. It's slow. And then it gets rushed at the end. Like, I thought it was weird that Chanel... slash chenille never there was never like a hey sorry i lost my shit and basically told you you steal all the good black men but we're friends again right rats on juilliard it was just like a weird thing but if you really watch it twice like i did you realize that they didn't do a good job flushing out their friendship like you weren't really sure like are they close is she is she just close because she's dating derrick or are they like
00:08:29
Speaker
Yeah, yeah they there's never, like, it doesn't seem like there's a ton of depth to it. And I guess it stays true to her character that she's just kind of like, yeah, fuck you, I said what I said, man. Right. You like me or you don't.
00:08:40
Speaker
Yeah. um if You stood on that at the doctor's office? Yeah. Yeah. But she was just, like, aggressive. Yeah. It was a lot. Look at me calling Black women aggressive.
00:08:53
Speaker
To your point, I think that scene pointed out the anger that black women carry um from day to day. Right. And so in that, that scene, she's upset because her baby's sick and she's been waiting for over an hour to see a doctor that she had an appointment for.
00:09:06
Speaker
And I thought that it was a really good job at showing um the privilege that Sarah or Julia styles had where she's of tells her, she's like, don't, but don't just be here to be here. Right. Like take a look around and see what is happening.
00:09:21
Speaker
um And I thought that it was just interesting, especially with Sarah's friend on the phone and she's just like have you seen anybody get shot yet or have you seen any drive-bys she's like what you know so I think they did a good job at kind of highlighting and it just makes me wonder you know we were 13 14 it makes me wonder how taboo these
Racial Themes in the Film
00:09:38
Speaker
conversations were yeah for them to kind of make it so obvious within the movie but not really dive into what those challenges are For sure. Because I think even watching it now, and that was one of my notes, i was like, I didn't remember it being this like racially heavy. Right.
00:09:52
Speaker
Like I remember sick dance moves and drama. I remember the woman on the bus with like being so disgusted, but I didn't remember how blatantly, aggressively racist everyone was towards her as the white girl. And then that irritated me too, because it it kind of came off as like, oh, poor you.
00:10:15
Speaker
They did a good job because she also wasn't annoying about it. You could tell it was just like just ignorance. It's not like there's no malice behind it. um But I felt like they did the whole movie was about gummies kicking in. I'm like the whole movie was about her.
00:10:34
Speaker
Yeah, bitch. The whole movie is literally about her. It's literally the movie is about her. or What are we talking about? Yeah.
00:10:48
Speaker
I didn't realize that she was really the only white face. Yeah, but if you watch it again, she's not. And that's where I got annoyed. Because there's other... And she even says there's other white people. There was, like, one more white girl in the party. She's dancing with a guy at the club. And then there's, like, a... I think she's, like, are there any white guys? And she's, like, no.
00:11:06
Speaker
And that's partially why I watched it twice. And because I have no life. and they Because, like, in her class, that class where she was the only white people, there were two other white people. So... And I don't think it's necessarily realistic to be like, oh, this whole school is just everybody's black. There's not a single white person.
00:11:23
Speaker
It is. But that's what I mean. and that's what i was saying when I was talking about it. I was like, I don't from our like our school was fairly diverse. So I'm like, to me, I can't even fathom like a school existing where there's only one white person. hmm.
00:11:39
Speaker
But if you tell me it exists, I believe you. Yeah. So there was a high school in Orlando, Florida that I was a recruiter for way back 2010, 2013. And one of the high schools was 99 point something percent black.
00:11:52
Speaker
And there was only one white student. He was a male. He joined the Marine Corps. He was the only white student in his class. So they it does happen. And this is Chicago, right? This is like the hood in Chicago. So I could see that happening.
00:12:07
Speaker
But I think they did a that was one thing I had had never noticed before. i Watching that back now, what were some moments that caught you off guard this, well, not the second and third, but these last two times around?
00:12:19
Speaker
In like the first 10 minutes, he says straight up fag. And I was like, whoa, like, and it wasn't a like, no, that is implorable. It was like, oh, yeah, you're trying to be funny. We're going move on and ignore you. And I was like, gosh, that's just not a word that that you hear in movies unless it's like.
00:12:39
Speaker
um know. You gotta be watching something where you kind of know this is going to be off colored and pretty offensive. Right. It's not just like casually sprinkled into things anymore, which I respect and appreciate.
00:12:51
Speaker
yeah, Yeah, when they were... When they're, like, when she's first getting acclimated and they're just, like, dancing in the cafeteria, like, the hip-hop dance in the cafeteria just randomly, I was like, this doesn't happen in real life. That's what I said. child was like, what is this? I was like, who's... Like, the whole cafeteria scene in the beginning was just crazy.
00:13:11
Speaker
um Cause it was funny. But then even, even with that, like when she can't find a place to sit and she goes and she sits with like the nerdy black kids, I was like, this is also, this is offensive to black people too, right here.
00:13:25
Speaker
Cause it's like, don't let me catch you sitting with the, the nerdy black kids. They're all dressed like Steve Urkel. You're not really sure what they're talking about, but even in their nerdification,
00:13:36
Speaker
You're putting them into like traditionally white outfits and speaking in these, these ways that are traditionally white. And it's almost like she's outcasted herself or she's going outcast herself by finding like the white black people.
00:13:56
Speaker
Right. So I thought that was interesting because I never noticed that either. But it's like, oh, you you looked around. But even know, you if you watch these things, you got to fucking watch it because there were white people. She didn't go sit at the table with all the white people.
00:14:09
Speaker
There was a table of white people. So they were the only ones in the school. But that's still a enough to put at a table. And like, is this all like, i need more information. Is this all the whole school eating lunch together? Is it like ninth grade? There was parts of the lunch scenes where I was like, okay, I see that because i felt like East also contributed to a lot of what I saw where it was like, okay,
00:14:30
Speaker
The tables that are completely separated by cliques made sense. the ah fair The freedom to kind of interact with each other within that space. I feel like we had that advantage where, for example, my daughter, she can't leave her table. like Where she sits is where she's at for the whole lunch period. They don't really have freedom to roam.
00:14:50
Speaker
um So i see I've noticed that that has changed just in terms of the socialization that is allowed. but I felt that there was a lot of you know contrast where I was like, okay, I see the high school scene being realistic for what I experienced, just not to the extent, right? Like people weren't dancing in the middle of the cafeteria. Like people weren't smoking cigarettes in the middle, at least not our high school. It might've been happening out there.
00:15:13
Speaker
I don't know. I don't know any high school where they're just doing full on dance sessions in the cafeteria.
00:15:27
Speaker
this is gonna sound so superficial but a lot of the styles are coming back as far as what they were wearing it made me laugh yeah and like i would have been her her outfit that like matching camisole tank top like i would have been proud to own that i remember being like that it looks that looks nice you look good
00:15:50
Speaker
Look the fuck good. Yes. to the club. Yes. Oh my God. I think the racial divide obviously still stands there. I think this is the first time, at least in our generation, that you saw it kind of flipped onto a white person. Right.
00:16:07
Speaker
Versus like, oh this poor new black kid is going to a school and bla bla blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. So... That's cool, but it was definitely lost on me.
00:16:18
Speaker
And I think also, like, I don't have the same level of sympathy. And i' I'm sure most people don't know. Like, yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I had a hard time being sympathetic for her. And I think it's because, you know, you're aware of we're way more aware now of what white privilege is and, you know, what systematic racism is and how that affects it high school students. Right. Down to just education and the ability and access to get a good one.
00:16:45
Speaker
Yeah. Even when you were talking about like recruiting at the all black school, I'm like, oh, that's probably on purpose. Well, I mean, I recruited at all the public schools, right? If there's public school, it has federal funding. Therefore, recruiters can walk in the building. But there is a difference in the way that we were received.
00:17:00
Speaker
All right.
School Demographics and Resources
00:17:01
Speaker
So my very affluent because I had both sides of the spectrum. I had the very poor, you know, D-rated high school with 99 percent black attendees. And I also had the flip side, which was, you know, 80 something percent white. And all of those kids drove Beamer, Benz and Bentleys and they were parked outside.
00:17:17
Speaker
And I bet they didn't want to join the military, did they? No, they didn't. They did after. They did when mommy and daddy pulled the plug. like Yes. And now they're in their second year of college and now they want to go make something of themselves. So we would see them later, but they wouldn't be joining right out high school. So there was that dynamic.
00:17:33
Speaker
And the other thing that I saw that paralleled that... was later I became a high school counselor and it was never lost on me the schools that had the security and metal detectors. One of the first high schools that I walked into in Brooklyn had 12 police officers, and NYPD officers, greeting me at the door with a line of four to five metal detectors and scanners.
00:17:55
Speaker
And I was like, what is happening? that it yeah I understood that these schools existed, but the way that I was greeted at this school compared to another school across town, that was maybe a little bit more affluent in terms of the demographics was, yeah was very jarring.
00:18:10
Speaker
Yeah. It made it really real life for me at that point. And what's crazy is you think of kids in school now, and not only do they have that aspect, they have now been through COVID, different gun laws. Like, I don't know how a kid goes to school today and is not fucking stressed. Like, even...
00:18:30
Speaker
um My stepdaughter's school, like, there's armed cops just out. And we're in, fuck, we're down here in, like, this uppity area. It's crazy. Yeah. And that's normal.
00:18:42
Speaker
It's normalized. And, like, having, like, oh, we have to do an active shooter drill. Like, doing that in elementary school. Right. My daughter says they have soft lockdowns. Yeah. Mm-hmm. So it's like, you have all of this on top of everything we say, like, in this movie.
00:18:58
Speaker
um I'm like, yeah, you're fucking soft, Sarah. until 2025 man but i really ah honestly with her all i ah remember as a kid all i was thinking is like this poor girl doesn't have her mom and like i just felt so bad for her for that i think that was a ah powerful anchor for the movie i think without tying that from the beginning to the end the the storyline gets a little lost because for me it was okay derrick is teaching her how to dance hip-hop but who is derrick
00:19:30
Speaker
of her fripping I understand. But like, what credibility does Derek have? Is he the dance coach? Is he the dance lead? Has been dancing his whole life? Does he have a group? Is he in music videos? I just didn't understand why he was like, okay, I got to teach you these moves and we're going to do this and...
00:19:45
Speaker
don't do it it was so weird i was like but who are but why him but i think it's because there were few people who were invested in her or wanting to be kind to her or even give her like try to help her like both derek and chanel like were like trying to to take her in to the best of their ability um and then derek wanted To smack those cheeks.
00:20:12
Speaker
so any good did And he did. He did.
00:20:26
Speaker
he did. He did. Steps. Yeah. The nightclub that they frequented was called Steps. And this was... ah nightclub that they needed ID for but if they needed ID they could pay Snooki $20 and he would get you this fake ID same day and the lady on the picture might be fat and ugly but it's gonna get you into steps and I it took me back to our time going to platforms in Providence ah from early years in high school and I was like this is this is realistic because we lived it
00:20:58
Speaker
Yeah, there there's a picture on my phone. I have to find it. And, like, I'm drinking Hennessy straight up out of a bottle. And i' am in, like, i'm clear we're clearly going to the club. But you can still see I have, like, a SpongeBob SquarePants sticker on the mirror in my room. Like, we're in my my bedroom at my parents' house.
00:21:20
Speaker
There's no way we're 21. Like, how... How do we even know what are we doing? I had like a belt. And I remember that night. I was like, I am hot shit.
Youthful Nightlife Experiences
00:21:30
Speaker
We were really delusional.
00:21:31
Speaker
Yeah. Because I think back at some of the fits that I rocked out there to these clubs. And wow. I also went to Pulse with you. Oh, yeah. I only went there a couple times. They had the stripper poles. Yes.
00:21:42
Speaker
Yeah. I frequented those stripper poles both times. That's when I knew i missed my calling. Now I'm just old. But I should have been a stripper. Like, I got compliments. You just gotta stretch. You still got it. I don't.
00:21:54
Speaker
But, um yeah, it's funny because platforms was... I was it's trying to explain it to my family. Like, that was a whole vibe. And if you didn't go there and you didn't get to be a part of it, you can't imagine because the ignorance was bliss, too. Like, we were literally in the hood in this gay club. Accepting drinks from any stranger. Just...
00:22:16
Speaker
Just going home with whoever to whatever after party or to get food. Yeah, we were free. I don't know how we were alive, but do we go to Misueno together too?
00:22:27
Speaker
Yes. Yeah. well is one you my gosh. immediately brought back just memories and smells and sounds of being out every Saturday. And I, I, I've talked to my wife about this several times. I'm like, babe, you don't understand.
00:22:40
Speaker
Like we would get dressed and we would step out at 16, 17 years old in a group of four or five of us minimum and, And there was always a like rival a vi a ri like oh my god i can't say the word rival gang of some sort. Like a little and another crew that wore the opposite color of us that night. And we would meet in the parking lines, tear each other down. and ah' See, i was drama I didn't go those nights. Yeah, no, there was always underlying drama between the different cliques. And the gay men were they were way messier than we were.
00:23:14
Speaker
They were fighting outside the club often. I always had a blast. Yes. I always had a blast too until like I got jumped out there. You did. And I tried. i tried to get your chain back. We were very reckless in that too. We stupid as shit. We followed them to Fall River. Mm-hmm.
00:23:27
Speaker
with a pregnant woman. Who the fuck do you think we are? I knew. didn't want to go. i was just like, I can't be the one. Didn't bring a lamp outside? didn't bring a fucking lamp. That was Lonnie. Lonnie got a lamp because she was pregnant.
00:23:40
Speaker
I'm like, what are you larry doing? and My cousin pulled up like, let's go. a Three cars. Yes. And I'm like, the whole time I'm like, I don't want this to be how I die. i just wanted my chain back.
00:23:51
Speaker
Well, I tried asking nicely. And you were so mad because, like, ah your girlfriend at the time, she went with me, but she didn't say anything. She didn't get out of the car. She also let me get jumped that night. And so, I mean, I didn't even want to go. That's what I was telling my wife. I was like, yo, babe, I was chilling with my friends.
00:24:08
Speaker
i did The whole night I was complaining about how i didn't want to go to this club. We get there. I didn't have cash. I ended up walking in by myself because she walked in without me so I could go get cash. And within 10 minutes, I got jumped and was getting stomped out on the floor by Strangers. Yeah, you were so mad when you came back because I did not go ah that night. I should have trusted my instincts.
00:24:27
Speaker
Yeah. None of you guys went. Hell no. And we literally, maybe I'm just lucky, but I don't have a negative memory there other than sometimes the music was too loud. like And then going to try to get your chain back for you. That wasn't fun. I didn't want to do any of that.
00:24:41
Speaker
That's the only negative memory that I have in that place. Other than that, it was always you danced from the moment you walked in there. Everybody was in good spirits for the most part that we surrounded ourselves with. We were drinking drinking.
00:24:52
Speaker
ah yeah I don't know how, because it's not like we had these jobs, you know, that we're paying our our nights out. Our parents probably gave $20 on the way out the door. No. Hey, I worked.
00:25:03
Speaker
I started working at 14, so I always had money. i always wanted to make sure I had money. And we would go to the bootleggers beforehand and buy it out of the trunk on Broad Street. That's crazy. Yeah, I know. We are nuts.
00:25:15
Speaker
No, we're nuts. They were the adults. They're selling you. Okay, man. We're just checking out. We're all full. We're all full. and then get some burnt mixed cds i still mixed cds that i bought on broad street i wish i did and But yeah, it took me back. And I felt like, again, but even the scenes where everybody's dancing and the soundtrack is ah hit. Amazing. Full of bangers. Every song that came on in the club, i was like, yes.
00:25:43
Speaker
And there was a like, yeah, they're watching. But like the dance battles, like that happened. I had battles with drag queens. And it's like, no one even cares if you are not good at dancing. That's what I loved at Platforms. It was just like a vibe. It was amazing. No Judgment Zone. Safe space.
00:25:58
Speaker
And we had good music back then. like two thousand So we were at platforms 2004, 2005, 2006. four thousand four two thousand five two thousand and six Easily. I probably didn't start going until later because I'll say junior year. 2005, 2006. Yeah, we were not 21. You're right. How did they even get it? i They didn't care back home. I used my mother's expired ID.
00:26:23
Speaker
I wouldn't have an ID. I have no one who looks like me. So how'd you do it? It's probably just charming. I believe it. I'm not even kidding. I'm like, I don't know. I don't know.
00:26:35
Speaker
But I never had a fake ID that I know about. But I do block things out. So maybe I did. Who knows? I also feel like we knew the bouncer. yeah So we had our, like, depending on who you walked in with or who walked you in, i think is pretty much how we got in. Probably just got in by going with you, honestly, because I didn't, you went there way more than I did.
00:26:54
Speaker
Yeah, but I didn't get myself in either. Like, somebody was walking me in there because... I didn't use my mother's ID all the time. I used that at like Pulse and maybe platforms a few times. But I feel like, again, we were escorted in, which is crazy because when you think about everything that was happening in there, we weren't the only underage people.
00:27:11
Speaker
But at the same time, I feel like there's so much magic in that because that's really where I got to be comfortable in my queerness. And that's where I got to meet other lesbians and other gay guys and just be in community and see everybody living their best life and being their best selves. So I think it was definitely a gift. for however we got in there every Saturday night, but we we were there faithfully. And I think, you know, at the end of the day, that's something that, like you said, if you were there, you were there. And if you weren't, you will only hear stories about it and you'll never understand.
00:27:40
Speaker
But you know what's funny? when they The scene where she's she's at the club and they're dancing... And like, she you could tell she's like, I don't know how to dance to this. And she's like trying to figure out how to dance. That's how I feel whenever I go to a wedding where they just play like rock music, old traditional white music. I'm like, don't what to do to this.
00:28:03
Speaker
I literally like, I don't know what to do. Do I, Bob? what Like what the, where's the beat? I can't find it. you yes My white side does not know what to do with some of these songs, but it's funny cause I relate it to like watching and I'm like,
00:28:17
Speaker
Everybody's just like jumping over down. All right, I'm just going to jump. can't do a live dance. I cannot follow directions.
00:28:37
Speaker
yeah but So Chanel, you didn't mention her character and and her, I guess, involvement in Sarah's storyline, but she had her own storyline, which was, you know, she was this young mother who was still outside having fun. i think her grandmother or some elder was pretty much taking care of her son. And the father is...
00:29:01
Speaker
is Again, someone who appears to be a little older ah and for the time seems appropriate. Right. I feel like our high school years, we saw a lot of these older men pulling up and picking us up.
00:29:14
Speaker
um And I don't know if that flies as easily these days where one teen pregnancy isn't as high used to as it used to be. but I don't know, maybe, it again, it's probably our privilege too in terms of circumstance and ah an environment.
Evolving Portrayals of Teen Pregnancy
00:29:31
Speaker
Because I just felt like, I hope that our generation has done a good job at eliminating the attractiveness of older men and falling prey to being their baby mama at a very young age.
00:29:43
Speaker
I think, honestly, teen mom gets credited with a lot. The teen pregnancy rates have dropped since that show's been out, which I think is crazy. Because I thought it was going to glamorize it. That's great PSA for our generation.
00:29:55
Speaker
Yeah, it really was. Yeah. That and Truth. We Killed Sigur Rats, too. Truth. God, I love that. and um Oh, yeah. True Life. I'm a blah, blah, blah. That was another one. yeah They don't make shit like they used to. They don't. Cinematic geniuses.
00:30:10
Speaker
We don't get to see these personal narratives and experiences. There was like, you know, the intervention shows and True Life. I'm a stripper. True Life. I'm a single dad. like And to Catch a Predator.
00:30:21
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. That's because we know too many faces nowadays. Everybody's a freaking predator. Literally. Like, it's so sad. But anytime i take the kids anywhere and I make it home, my first thought is, whew, thank God, is gratitude that, like, we got home unscathed. And and ah that's living here.
00:30:39
Speaker
Like, that's fucking nuts. Yeah. I didn't like how they made Kenny's character... ah stereotypical bum not bum but like irresponsible angry explosive dad I just was like other than Derek there was no male in that film that was like Especially the black guys, even the dad, like him trying, oh great, you made my room up, like whoop-de-fucking-do.
00:31:11
Speaker
um they They just ah still still shit on black men throughout the whole film. Like the one at the club, you can't take him seriously. Malachi, blah, blah, blah. We know what he's like. Derek is going to be a doctor, but he still has a past.
00:31:29
Speaker
And then the baby daddy's a bum. And like, oh, they don't know her mom because she was on drugs. And I get it. Like you are you're, again, it goes back to like the nerdy people. It's like, you're still shitting on black people aggressively throughout this whole movie.
00:31:48
Speaker
um And it was just kind of hard to ignore. And even, and even, you
Racial Stereotype Critique
00:31:53
Speaker
can even take it deeper. Like even with the the women, all of the women in, In the the show, they all, like, throw jabs at Sarah in one way or another, um except Mama Dean.
00:32:05
Speaker
And there's nothing particularly positive depicted about anybody other than Derek and Sarah. Right. And Chanel has, like, talent. She's a fashion designer.
00:32:20
Speaker
But they just throw, like, they throw that dress in there and then they never, it's all gone. Like, oh all right, we don't care. Yeah. What do you think that says about the times, right? Back in 2001. i don't think it's the times. I think it's still just a very accurate, vivid depiction of what society perceives black people as and the box that they put them in. And the this is this is basically as good as you're going to get.
00:32:42
Speaker
You get one out of 500 who is going to try to be a doctor and the rest of you can't even get along with each other. Like, I think i think the narrative is still the same. It's probably even worse than,
00:32:54
Speaker
now when it comes to the overall view and treatment of black people as a society I think where we shed more light on it but nothing in my opinion nothing's got nothing's gotten better at all we just also don't really care if white people feel like hurt anymore that's the only thing that's changed like no one would give a fuck about like oh poor little poor little Sarah I'm so sorry you're like having a hard time acclimating the school like fuck you like no one would feel that I would hope that, i mean, i think it is reflective of the times in the sense that that was the narrative that was still being pushed.
00:33:35
Speaker
What was the narrative pushed? Like, that Black men are not productive to women or children or society.
00:33:47
Speaker
And while it might still be something that is, you know, hidden agenda in some things, I don't think it's as prevalent as it was then 2001. in two thousand and one where I'm looking at like the turn of the millennium.
00:33:58
Speaker
I'm looking at the 1994 crime bill and how that was meant to remove Black men out of homes and relocate them into prisons for minor offenses, right? Nonviolent offenses.
00:34:13
Speaker
i i've And I don't even, I don't have the energy to get... deep into it, but I feel like we're were right back there again. Oh, yeah. Now, yes. like And I think that's where it's like, it's hard for me to do this podcast sometimes because i would like to say that we've turned a leaf, right? It's like, oh, man, I was just going to say, i would I would hope that we now find more Derricks in the graduating class and that there's not as many Malachi's?
00:34:38
Speaker
Yes, that there's not as many Malachi's and that there's more Derrick's, there's more, you know, black students being accepted to Georgetown, that there are less teen mothers, that there are more productive fathers, black or white, right, in general.
00:34:50
Speaker
I would hope that that is the case. But I think, like you just said, today, with how the world is spinning for America, specifically... we are going back. And even if there are, they're not being highlighted. They're not being showcased. And I think I only, as a, like, I got a black child. I've got a black partner and I'm in the South. And I feel like I myself have become way more like,
00:35:15
Speaker
fuck everybody. Like I'm more, I'm more defensive and more aware of race. Like even when we were at the pool today, I'm like, when we were walking, you probably didn't hear me. I was like, fuck. Cause there was a family there and they'd been there. And like, like, I don't know if you noticed, they just stare the whole time. They were just staring. Like, what the fuck, what are you looking at? And like the interaction, the interaction is always weird. It never feels good. Their kids feel weird. And I just don't like when they're there. And like, Loki, I don't trust anybody who lets their kid have a mullet.
00:35:44
Speaker
One's got full blown mullet. The other one's got a like skinhead cut. Like, what are we doing? I'm just saying, but I hate when they're, when they're there. And I think, um, I don't know.
00:35:56
Speaker
We could, we could go down way too many rabbit holes around here, but I just think that No, I don't think that the, our perception of black men has,
Impact of Obama's Presidency on Perceptions
00:36:07
Speaker
has improved. I think we've seen more in areas of sports and this and that, and like, but like we had Obama.
00:36:15
Speaker
And so it's like more recognizable that black people can like not suck in society, but it's still like, it's still what's the opposite of the norm.
00:36:27
Speaker
like it's not not even taboo it's like oh wow there's a good one look look yeah exactly like they don't like unicorn yeah exactly like these men are unicorns and then even you take like will smith and like his whole slap like ruined them right um temporarily because how dare he hey how dare he align to what we've been trying to paint you guys you're supposed to be one of the good ones Exactly. Exactly. And I think it could just be me. and i've I've been referred to as one of the good ones.
00:36:55
Speaker
Like, I work... Yes! Like, Rhode Island's fucking racist as shit. I worked and this guy... And the crazy thing is I got the job through ah family friend. I was young.
00:37:06
Speaker
I was, like, 16, 17. And this guy was nuts. Like, he was doing coke and banging strippers in the basement. Like, it was nuts. In basement of work? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was nuts.
00:37:17
Speaker
And... and they He hired a guy fresh out of prison. Like... Yeah, I was, you gotta teach me how to start my old podcast because this shit was crazy. oh Because like the guy, I forget his name, but like he was legit fresh out of prison. And I forget something upsetting happened and i was crying at work and he gave me a hug and he had like a full blown boner. And I was like, whoa. he was like, I'm so sorry. I haven't been around a woman in a long time. And I was like, ah, but I'm like 17.
00:37:47
Speaker
Like, how am I working here? Hopefully. No, I wasn't even 18 because I shouldn't have been serving. beer. But anyway, and he had a limp. I think he had gotten shot. He had a limp and like ah ah like a prosthetic leg from it.
00:38:01
Speaker
Anyway, they got into a fistfight about something. And my boss at the time is sitting outside and he's on the phone with his wife. And he's like, well, I knew it. You could take a nigger out of the ghetto, but you can't take the ghetto out of a nigger.
00:38:14
Speaker
And he didn't have a southern accent, though. He had a thick Italian accent, but I'm not going to redo it again. And he sees me standing there and he goes, not you, Jelly. You're one of the good ones. No fucking one. I swear to God. And I was just like, oh, my God. I don't know what to do with this.
00:38:27
Speaker
I was like, I'm to be done for the day. Like, I... mean I don't like this. so I literally just left because I was like, I don't have a response to that. I know it's wrong, but like, and we didn't get taught about race.
00:38:43
Speaker
Like my mom did her best, but my dad is black. My mom is white. And my dad, didn't, there was nothing, there was no, there was no explanation. It was always like, well, you're just both.
00:38:54
Speaker
You're just you. You're this, you're that. So like, you really don't know like what that means. So I, I genuinely was like, I don't really know how to explain. i don't know how to answer that, but thank you for telling me I'm a good one, I guess. Like what the fuck?
00:39:08
Speaker
But yeah, I think, um, I think that's it probably why I like this movie so much. Because it was like, oh, like she doesn't she doesn't know where to fit in I don't know where to fit in.
00:39:19
Speaker
All I hear over here is like, you're too white. You're too white. You're too white. You're whitewashed. You're this. You're that. They call me Big Bird. Oh, my God. Yeah. And then like the black girls, they never really...
00:39:30
Speaker
like I was not black enough for the black girls at all even down here when I moved down here I still got it like what did one of them say we were talking about racism she's like well at least like at least you can blend in imagine what it's like for the rest of us and I was just like I think that might be mean literally but I'm like I was like I think that might be kind of mean ah I don't know. I don't know.
00:39:56
Speaker
Like, I'm slow. ah I'm just slow to disrespect. But I think but i should I should ask my sister what she thinks because i would be curious to know her perspective because we both loved this movie. And I think it was like between like this and maybe The Preacher's Wife, I think we're the only movies with black people in it that we really saw.
00:40:16
Speaker
so The Preacher's Wife, you should put that on the list. If you want, I'll come back. I'll come back because it's Whitney. do it No, you don't. you dont It's a good movie, but good old Whitney.
00:40:28
Speaker
Bye-bye. You needed to see it as a kid, right? um but No, it just has to be like a movie from our childhood. Because at the end of the day, it's it's really you talking about it so Oh. Yeah. like it doesn Somebody has me watching Pocahontas. Yes, I watched it as a child.
00:40:44
Speaker
I have no idea how to conceptualize this as an adult. No, but Pocahontas is so fucking racist. Like, have you ever studied Disney and the racism behind Walt Disney? it ah literally was a course I took a course on it in college because it's that extensive. It's fascinating.
00:40:58
Speaker
Like, Disney's nuts. the The shit we used to watch, yeah, you should do it you should do a whole thing on Disney movies. Yeah. Aladdin. Think about Aladdin. Mowgli, the Jungle Book, the racism, even down to like symbolism within the Lion King.
00:41:11
Speaker
All that shit is racist. We don't watch Disney shit. Oh, really? Yeah. We don't listen to R. Kelly at home. know. That was a hard one. I can't get rid of Disney, though. No. Because once you see it, you're not going to be able to see it.
00:41:21
Speaker
No one else knows that that's why we don't watch Disney. And we probably do. But like the old stuff that we watched, like it's pretty crazy.
00:41:35
Speaker
Getting us back on track. Sorry. What has your experience been as a biracial woman in
Navigating Biracial Identity
00:41:42
Speaker
America? Like you you said that you related to this movie because this is another young girl who is trying to find herself amongst a group of peers that don't exactly reflect what she looks like. Yeah.
00:41:55
Speaker
Uh, it's been, it's been wild because it wasn't until i moved down to the South that I was like, oh, I'm actually just Black. ah the yeah The mixed shit doesn't really matter because at the end of the day, I'm either in the house when we go back to slavery or I'm outside when we go back to slavery. But either way, I'm still a fucking slave.
00:42:15
Speaker
And I think the South really highlighted that just in... Like I remember early on at work and my boss was black and this dude was, we were talking about a restaurant like out in the country.
00:42:28
Speaker
And I was like, yeah, I'm not going out there. And he's like, there's lots of colored people out there. You'd be fine. I was like, bro. And I looked at my boss who was like from New York, my boss at the time. He's like, from New York, and like, um yeah anybody could get and he didn't say shit. And I looked at him and I was like, you're going to let me take this?
00:42:45
Speaker
Like, you're not even, no, Mr. Tough Guy, you're going to just let this white guy? And I was like, yeah, you don't say colored anymore. That's no way. No longer thing. He turned beet red.
00:42:56
Speaker
he was just, he was embarrassed. He was like, my bad. Like, I didn't know. Like, sorry. That's what I meant. and And it was fine. But it was just funny because when I went to move down here, everyone was like, oh, you're going to see the racism so bad and bo blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:43:10
Speaker
And I was like, I'll be fine. But it's true because it's just not as blatant as it is back home. Back home, it was very clear like,
00:43:21
Speaker
like
00:43:24
Speaker
It was very clear if you were in a place or in a situation where you were not welcome. Here, you really don't know. You really don't know. a smile. Exactly. But thank you, Donald J. Trump, because it's gotten much more clear. Right. It's gotten very fucking clear.
00:43:38
Speaker
um And I even found it when I went and worked for a different company that was either further in, like, out of the city. Like, they did not. They did not, like... They didn't like me at all.
00:43:49
Speaker
They didn't want to hear a thing I had to say. They didn't want to... respect me, deal with me. and you think it's because you're a black woman? Oh, for sure. Oh, but why were you brought on?
00:43:59
Speaker
Because they had been bought by private equity and they wanted somebody to know who knew what they were doing to kind of start to weed people out and, and take over. Um,
00:44:11
Speaker
It's tough position to be in. Yeah, no, they made it extra tough. I was pregnant at the time too. So it was a whole, was, it was a blast. I got laid off on maternity leave. Like there's been a lot of fuckery that's happened that when I look back now, I'm like, i bet some of this is race related.
00:44:29
Speaker
But then I'm also like, I, I still feel like, like to that woman's point, like at least I can blend in. Right. Like I probably get it way less than, than other people.
00:44:40
Speaker
um and that monthss up you could unpack that too but yeah it's it's pretty wild actually because it's still the same thing it's like no one really knows like i can't tell you how many times i've been asked what are you so what so no what what are you no like no but like are you from america none of this is uncommon one girl in high school i won't say her name but she was like you're the first colored person to sit on my couch This was someone close in my little clique.
00:45:08
Speaker
Literally, like, you're the first colored person to sit on my couch. And we didn't have conversations at home. And that's something we're doing with our kids now is, like, nah. Like, no. You you are you're Hispanic and you're you're black. And, like, you can stand up. No, no one gets a pass. They do this, like, oh, you get a pass to say the N word. I'm like, nah, no one gets a pass.
00:45:28
Speaker
It's up to us to break those cycles. It is, but we weren't necessarily given any of the tools to have these conversations. So I think... a show, a movie like this was like, oh, okay, maybe, maybe like learn some sick text moves and you'll be fine. And I did. I mean, thank God for the Hispanic population. Cause if you think about it that is where like I was taken in ah because like I said, like I had a few black friends over here. i had white friends over here, but
00:46:01
Speaker
you motherfuckers, you'd take anybody in. I was going say, what do you think it it was about the Hispanic population that allowed you to to blend and to to find your identity or to at least find yourself amongst um ah a welcoming crowd?
00:46:14
Speaker
Well, Latin men are crazy. They loved me. So that helped. um i think I think there's a cultural vibe with Latin Americans in general where it's just kind like, we just want to get along and have have a good time.
00:46:28
Speaker
Um... I don't know if it's cultural. i don't I don't know what it is, but... I think eventually you just, you find your place and I just learned how to get along with everybody.
00:46:39
Speaker
But when you look at it as an adult, that's not like, oh, I'm just really friendly. That's survival. That's like, all right, I got to figure out how to be safe among all these different type of groups. Cause I don't have my own.
00:46:50
Speaker
We don't have a little clique of all the biracial kids who just hang out together. But like in our high school, the Asians, the blacks, like everybody was together and it's like, all right, well, I'm going to have to, be likable enough to fit in wherever I need to fit in to succeed.
00:47:06
Speaker
And I think that still rings true, except now I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck if you like me or if I fit in or if I make you uncomfortable. I don't care. And I don't want my kids to care. And I don't like take take up fucking space. Be mixed. Be this. Be whatever the fuck you want to be.
00:47:22
Speaker
It even goes into like a deeper conversation of trans and this and that. i don't understand why people are so like, leave everybody alone. Just go be. Don't hurt each other. Just go fucking be.
00:47:34
Speaker
What are the conversations like with your kids as you know, you have experience dealing with identity and now there's so many more identities and more labels and more boxes to put people in. What are those conversations look like now for your daughter, your stepdaughter and and your son?
00:47:49
Speaker
It's hard because with my stepdaughter, I try to tread lightly. I don't want to step on mom and dad's toes. I follow dad's lead, but I encourage her to explore what she what she feels, what she thinks, what she says, and speak up, say things, ask questions, and don't be embarrassed of what the responses might be.
00:48:11
Speaker
And also that she she doesn't have to pick one thing. She doesn't have to be Hispanic or Black. Like, yes, you are both. Honor or both. Learn about both. um But you're also like you, a totally unique being that there is none other on a cellular level on this whole planet. So like, number that yeah, go just be you. Cause she'll be like, I'm not cool. And I'm like, yeah, I mean, you're not cool. You're literally like are you the only you in the whole fucking world, but also you're going to get treated away because of what you look like. So how do we prepare you for that? Like, it's such a balancing act.
00:48:46
Speaker
And then with sexuality and all of that, sheesh, nah, bro. It gets hard. It gets real difficult. Yeah. And they're just so confident. and i think that's the difference now where, you know, Sarah was having a hard time trying to fit in and you had so many clicks.
Generational Openness to Diversity
00:49:02
Speaker
it was It was very divided in the movie from what you could tell. there it Like, everybody was with who they were with throughout the whole movie. um But the... my god what was the point I was getting at um oh the the ability their their openness right like how open kids are to just being themselves and just being on full display i think would give a different save the last dance right if it was to come out now I wonder what that storyline looks like right I hope mom isn't dying in a car accident accident on the highway and getting scraped off the side of the road as is described by Sarah in a very very but visual and graphic manner
00:49:41
Speaker
But you know, she was dealing, she needed therapy. A lot of things can be dealt with with therapy. But I also felt like, you know, i wonder what that, if we would if we do this again, what does this movie look like? Euphoria. Without the drugs.
00:49:53
Speaker
yeah Literally, like that that's kind of, because if you think about it, this was just a movie. If you consolidated euphoria down into like and two hours and took out the, like the drug abuse.
00:50:09
Speaker
And the dancing. Yeah, we'll add in the dance. We'll add the dancing. Yeah, and take out the drugs, add in the dancing. um But like, you know that, this is a tangent, but like, if you think about how weird of a fucking show Euphoria is, like, whoa.
00:50:36
Speaker
I love that show. Me too. Season three is coming soon. We're essentially like, these are teenagers. Yeah, but that was life. We lived that. We did a bit. I did. I lived a lot of euphoria.
00:50:48
Speaker
Where was I? I don't know, but we lived a lot of euphoria. There was a, I'm not going to name names because Rhode Island is real small and y'all already going to start putting pieces together. But there was a student that we went to high school, or excuse me, in middle school.
00:51:01
Speaker
We were in the seventh grade and homegirl overdosed in her pool during a house party. Yes. Yeah, see, no, I was still playing with dolls at home. Thanks, mom. No, this was happening at 12, 13 years old. By the time we got to high school, forget about it. like And I remember in the seventh grade, you had girls getting caught in the bathroom drinking nips and smoking cigarettes. So it's not far-fetched to think that they they're just openly smoking cigarettes at like a Providence high school, right? Like they probably were doing that back in the nineties.
00:51:28
Speaker
So I don't know, but I feel like... the Euphoria. Euphoria, yeah, there was definitely... I had some euphoric days. but like I had some euphoric days for sure.
00:51:40
Speaker
I wasn't doing like crack or anything like hard, but I know other people that were. Really? Yeah. there I've watched students from West come to house parties and they're crushing up Adderall and Vicodin and all of the pills way back before it got super popular. They're like snorting this shit like on the kitchen counter. Yeah.
00:51:59
Speaker
That was normal. That's true. You know, I remember going into house parties. Oh my God. I can't even think of his name. Rob something. Rob something used to have parties all the freaking time. And you walk in and it looks just like I'd seen out of euphoria. There's red party cups everywhere. There's kids everywhere. There's people making out in the bedrooms. Like I pulled out a few friends out of bedrooms during around these house parties.
00:52:19
Speaker
I lived euphoria. Remember when I had to go and break up a house party at your house? Yes. That was hysterical. It was. It was crazy. You're welcome. Yeah. That was hysterical. I failed the sobriety test when the cop came, but I was so, I was stone cold sober. I'm just dumb.
00:52:35
Speaker
I swear to God. And I was so sober. Well, why did it give you a, I don't know. Cause I ended hanging out with the cop. Oh my God. Just a little bit. We were just chatting. Cause it was kind of like, like he was cool about it.
00:52:47
Speaker
Oh my gosh. Yeah, I know. I remember the time I walked you home, like inside your house. Yeah, no. So we had euphoric days. You guys, because I can't drink Bacardi Lamont.
00:52:57
Speaker
I can't do it either. I can't do Lamont, Raz, Blue, all none of them. None of the Bacardi regular. Bacardi Superior with Diet Coke, please. Or Mojito. That's the only way I have Bacardi these days.
Reflecting on Youth and Responsibility
00:53:08
Speaker
know so they Yeah, ah I don't do the flavors because I ate town stomped off of Sophia's deck once upon a time, so I can't.
00:53:17
Speaker
Yeah, that thing. I got caught by my mom that night. You guys brought me home. i know. But we didn't leave you because other friends in Euphoria would have like ran out. we Jazz ran out. She left me.
00:53:29
Speaker
Jazz would leave. Jazz did, yeah. She was the one who brought me a fucking bitch. But I walked you to the patio with Jazz. She took you up and left you hanging. yeah obviously that She did. That was funny. But your mom, not for nothing, nobody wants to explain to your mom, right? like Exactly. What are you guys supposed to do Get out of there. We're we're leaving.
00:53:47
Speaker
But also it was like, but she's Jill's mom. like she's She's the white mom. She's cool. she No, she's pretty bad. Yes. You got naked at my house before we had to dress you to get you to your house. I'm so glad outgrew that. I am too. Because I was really worried as you entered adulthood what this was going to look like for you.
00:54:06
Speaker
get naked at parties. so Yeah. Yes. yeah But yeah, she was real mad. She was like, how do you even get back? You're not 21. And I was like, I'm really pretty, mom. I just left the bootleggers on bras for you.
00:54:19
Speaker
I'm like, listen, this is the least thing you need to worry about. Nah, I think for what it was, you know, euphoria was a good parallel, but I think it gave us a good one.
00:54:31
Speaker
It gave me a good flashback as to like what I expected high school to be. um And then also some childhood, like some just core childhood memories where you're just out living your best life, dancing the night away. Just that's all that mattered was being there with your friends dancing. And I think that was a great way to remind us that sometimes you just have to dance the blues away because that's what we did in all of our chaos. Yeah.
00:54:59
Speaker
Mm-hmm. Somatically, yeah. um What message do you have for young Jill trying to find her way as a biracial child in 2001? Oh, that's funny. I don't know.
00:55:10
Speaker
I would... think i would have told her just just keep being yourself because at the end of the day that's i think that's the only way i gave like got through it because i've always just been who the fuck i am either you like it or you don't even even like trying to figure out what that looked like because it's the same thing i tell my stepdaughter like none of this shit matters at the end of the day people don't matter if you're lucky enough to have friends that you had from middle school high school like that's a blessing but at the end of the day This shit's all temporary. It doesn't matter. You just gotta to suck it up and get through it and then go ah live your life.
00:55:44
Speaker
Just be kind. I would much rather have people have memories of like, oh yeah, she was fucking crazy, but she was cool than like, oh, she picked on me or oh, I was a little little so worried about like, she seemed like she was gonna go up to school.
00:55:58
Speaker
You know, the usual stuff.
00:56:12
Speaker
All right. We're going move on to the segment sparks of the podcast. Oh, God. If TikTok were around... I do believe that the grand finale where Sarah performs for Juilliard's audition, I do believe that if TikTok were around 2001, that final performance, that audition for Juilliard would definitely be on TikTok.
00:56:37
Speaker
And somebody would have taken like a sneak recording of her first dancing in the club. Like somebody would have gotten that. That would have that would have been a meme for sure. Absolutely. Absolutely.
00:56:49
Speaker
Recast Roulette. Who plays the roles today? I don't really know any cast young cast members, to be honest. Me neither. Then I just had to like do it with people I knew, like Neo. Right? Neo and Rihanna could be Kerry Washington.
00:57:03
Speaker
trying to think of a white girl. Who do I put in there? I know. Lady Gaga. She's too old. She's too old. um I don't know.
00:57:16
Speaker
I don't know any young. I don't know any. Like, that's why even these, like, there's probably a ton of, like, young actual actors. Oh, maybe that Billy Ray, the the Stranger Things lady. ah boby Bobby?
00:57:28
Speaker
Billy Bobby Brown? Millie Bobby Brown? Yeah, her. Or Hailey Bieber. Or Miley Cyrus. I think Miley Cyrus would be cool, but yeah her accent is just a little too nuts. I don't know. I don't think there's... What happened to Julia Stiles, by the way?
00:57:45
Speaker
going to find out what happened to her. She could do it. I will watch anything with Natalie Portman, but she was also the Black Swan, so I don't think she would come back to do... Well, here, we're just saying, like, if we had control. Yeah.
00:57:56
Speaker
Not like... Well, Tukov's dead. Tukov's dead. lock sound See, at least I know who's dead who's not. Tupac's 100%. I'm not in tune with it. If I asked my daughter, she would be able to say, like, these are the actors that you want. Because I don't feel like I'm in tune with this generation of young ingenues.
00:58:15
Speaker
All right. We'll skip that one.
00:58:23
Speaker
Style throwback. Who had the best fits? Her club outfit the first night looks like something I would have worn. I love her matching sweater set. but Before the scarf. Well, I wrote that too. love how she, you literally went in the car, put your earrings on and wrapped the scarf around your head. And now she looks like it's better though. She did. And she was, she was ready to leave. She was, she was sorry.
00:58:44
Speaker
Um, probably Chanel or maybe Nikki. I think I just have a crush on Nicki. Yeah, Nicki was bad. But you know what? I think what got to me is as the years went on and she continued showing up in movies, she was always the mean girl. She was always like this asshole. And I didn't like that after a while. i was like, yeah, that's nice once or twice. But she was always this character. And just don't like actors that always fall into a certain sta an archetype of a character.
00:59:11
Speaker
do think that happens. Mm-hmm.
00:59:20
Speaker
Soundtrack snapshot. Which song did it for you? Murder, She Wrote. Probably my first introduction to Murder, She Wrote. such a banger it still is it's on all my my playlists i'm going crazy crazy crazy that reminded me of like middle school dances um in the auditorium with six inches in between us yes yeah yeah literally used to like have full-grown dance sessions to this movie in my room like here's the chance and and i just picture me like on gallop yeah i did a lot of flying through the air and pink
00:59:55
Speaker
Pink's the shit. oh Pink is the shit. She's amazing. She is amazing, yep. You who make me sick. I want you in a payment. Hip-hop Pink was really dope. I like Pink now, but Hip-hop Pink, they ruled her out really well.
01:00:09
Speaker
I didn't know she was white. I was like, ah. Because she looks like, what's her name? Who is just, she's very fair. Robin something. Who is a singer. she has light eyes.
01:00:22
Speaker
oh I don't know. But yeah, definitely the whole soundtrack. o Say what, say what, say what, girl. I think anytime Love Like This comes on in the club, anytime it came on in platform, you knew that you had like an hour left. This is last call. Go get your last couple of drinks because they're turning up for one last time.
01:00:44
Speaker
And then after this they're going to play Neo's So Sick and Mary J. Blige's Be Without You. And the lights are turning on and see you next week. it' like It was on repeat and so every Saturday. Fat Man's scoop. I was so upset when he died and everyone was just like, no one cares. Wait, did he die?
01:01:00
Speaker
He did die. Yeah, he is. I knew it. I thought it was someone else I love died. i just can't think of his name. Maybe the Cupid Shuffle guy. um
01:01:09
Speaker
Or the Cha-Cha Slide. Cupid Shuffle. You're going to have to look it up. Yeah. Yeah. But no, that whole song, when it comes on, I try to get my kid to dance to it and he he just has no idea how great that is.
01:01:23
Speaker
It's a timeless song. To me, those those type of songs you can play in a club today. You can play that whole album today. every Every generation in there, old, young and new, stepping in will definitely have a good time dancing to any of these tracks.
01:01:37
Speaker
yeah but All right, we're going to move on to our rating and
Rating 'Save the Last Dance' as Adults
01:01:41
Speaker
rewrite. So our rating scale is something fun. It changes every single episode. And so usually it's a nostalgic relic that stands out in the movie.
01:01:52
Speaker
This movie didn't have too many of those. mean, like on scale of one to five matching sweater sets. like but i mean like on a scale of one to five matching sweater sets See, that's kind of weird. Yeah, i can't rate it in a in a sweater.
01:02:07
Speaker
Not in a sweater They didn't have, like, phones. No, no phones, no pagers. ah There were a lot of overalls in that movie. lot of overalls.
01:02:19
Speaker
Um, I had in my head a one to 10, I gave it a six as an adult when I would have given it like an 11 as a child, but. Okay. So rating scale one to 10, you'll give it a six. I gave it like six and a half. was your justification?
01:02:35
Speaker
That's just me looking at it like cinematically and poking holes in the plot and being like, yeah, you never, you didn't come back around with that. You brush this. It was slow. oh oh No, maybe like an eight. Maybe an eight.
01:02:48
Speaker
I don't know. it like That's a huge jump. Six and a half to an eight is crazy. Math's not for me. But i I was just thinking about the scene where they're like first dancing, like they're having their first practice and like how fun those scenes were. Like they did such a good job with that whole little montage.
01:03:07
Speaker
Yeah. So that bumped it up because I remembered that. And then i remember Nikki looking like a cat. Mm-hmm. And I'm fine as. Still remembered like quotes like, you think I climbed on top of myself and got pregnant? Mm-hmm. Like i as some of the things, like I've seen it so many times, they came up.
01:03:25
Speaker
Nah, I'll give it an eight. I'll give it an eight. I was probably just cranky when I gave it a six. I'll give it an eight. So we'll give, and it's not a sweater set. We'll do a ballerina.
01:03:36
Speaker
Yeah. Because she was a ballerina, no? Yeah, no, let's give her i'm give her eight of the these. The little, like, nose. The nose. And the way he's, like, doing it, like.
01:03:47
Speaker
The nose flicks. Seriously, like, no, watch this. Like, yeah, that's what it is, the nose flicks. Eight nose flicks. sure. We got it. Awesome. If you could change one thing, only one, what would it be?
01:04:01
Speaker
but I would have had Chenille have some sort of apology or acknowledgement for like how left the conversation went. Because she said it to Derek, yes but the character seemed like the type that...
01:04:12
Speaker
would have brought it to her yeah right because exactly and it wouldn't have been a big deal but they could have done it better um because i think that as an adult you know i'm like oh and it allows for a little perspective or at least understanding for the audience to see what she meant by what she said because she would have to kind of explain that to sarah in a scene so i feel that i see that okay All right. Final takeaways.
01:04:40
Speaker
What does rewatching it say about who you were then and who you are now? Final thoughts. Not much has changed. Oh my God. No, it's kind of true. Cause it's like, I just loved it. thought it was, I thought it was interesting. thought it was like deep.
01:04:58
Speaker
Um, and I still felt that way. i think I'm much more,
01:05:11
Speaker
I'm less sympathetic as I've gotten older to white people in general. Sorry, guys. Sorry half of me. um drink warning Yeah, seriously. you go have to You have to edit some of this shit out. good No, it's offensive as fuck. It is not offensive.
01:05:28
Speaker
It's your truth. it It's your experience. Not everybody wants to hear my truth. I mean, if you hit play, then there you're here for the truth. That's true. You're here for somebody's truth. Yeah. Definitely less sympathy and...
High School Memories and Personal Narratives
01:05:39
Speaker
more like life experience to know that like yeah those really were the best easiest times of your life high school and all that yeah those uh those days in the cafeteria go fast those midnight rides with the homies go fast skipping school for black and mild because you have three study halls senior year yep those go fast too i skipped like history Yeah, I was actually in study hall. You were core classes.
01:06:13
Speaker
but you had i skipped a lot of you I had the black and mild. You had the car. So we were going to go ahead and get on out of there quick. All right, good. Well, I mean, I appreciate your time. i love that you love this movie. It always makes a pleasurable conversation when the people actually love what we're talking about. So this is great. And I appreciate your attention to detail and bringing your past and your personal narrative to the context for the listeners.
Understanding Perspectives and Raising Awareness
01:06:40
Speaker
It's not easy trying to navigate a world that's as complex as ours. um It's definitely not easy when you're trying to figure out two different perspectives and two different life experiences based on two conflicting and misunderstood positions.
01:06:55
Speaker
So I appreciate you just bringing your your raw truth to this podcast. And I hope that somebody out there can resonate with what it is that you've said. And and that as we raise our children, that we're also a little bit more aware of these things.
01:07:06
Speaker
I too am raising a a young black man. And so that's not lost on me when i think of the language that I use and the explanations that i give even my daughter in terms of what their experiences are in the neighborhoods that we have worked so hard to place them in, not understanding that now they have their own set of challenges and obstacles to navigate in doing so. So, you know, we we can only do our best. And I think we're in a
Closing Thanks and Future Episode Plans
01:07:29
Speaker
and the best position that we can be in to to give them context and real hard truths um before they have to find it the hard way like we did. So at least we're we're doing the good work. Yeah, for sure.
01:07:42
Speaker
All right. Well, thank you so much, Jill. I appreciate you coming through. this was fun. I think you should have me all the time. i Well, I mean, there's always room for rewatches and spinning the blocks.
01:07:54
Speaker
um I think at this point, every guest wants to come back. So we're going to facilitate in some way for ah ah not a redo, but ah a part two, because I think it's hard to just pick one movie.
01:08:06
Speaker
Yeah. That's true. And especially when you do one and you kind of talk one through, you're like, oh my God, like there's there's this other movie that comes to mind that I like to pick apart in the same way. So we'll find another one. We'll find another fun, playful or dramatic, whichever vibe you're looking for to to dissect and to reflect on and see how we've grown from it.
01:08:24
Speaker
Nah, I just want to give my opinion about shit. Somebody out there is listening. I think the podcast world is very, very lucrative because everybody wants to listen to somebody else say some shit. I just want people to write in with questions and I answer them.
01:08:42
Speaker
Okay. But like they could be anything. well we're going to put it Instagram. So when we release the episode, um you will be tagged. And then people will be able to ask questions don and engage with you. Don't tag me, my I'm tagging. Who's my friend on Instagram? It's all right. She should know that you've done a podcast.
01:08:57
Speaker
She's going like, didn't raise her. She did an amazing job. Outstanding job. She has an outstanding daughter and an amazing friend.
01:09:09
Speaker
you so much. Please join us next time for new guests, old movies, and the uncomfortable truths we uncover along the way. With that being said, stay focused, stay motivated, love one another, have a great fucking day.
01:09:24
Speaker
And we're out.