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Holiday Special: Is It a Midlife Crisis? Marriage Lies & Fake Friends
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Midlife crisis, positive aging, personal growth, Reddit relationship drama, friendship betrayal—this holiday special dives into it all! Join Bruce Anthony and J. Aundrea as they bust the myth of the midlife crisis, chart the roadmap to “midlife awakening,” and swap candid stories about marriage money lies and fake friends. Then buckle up for a juicy Reddit scandal about a “lying wife,” plus raw friendship truth bombs and even a wig chat you won’t see coming. Whether you’re tracking anxiety vs. ambition in your 40s or figuring out who really has your back, this episode is your unapologetically uncensored guide to thriving in your fourth decade. #MidlifeAwakening #PositiveAging #RelationshipDrama #friendshiptruths #midlifecrisis #redditdramaa #adultingstruggles #unsolicitedperspectives
🔔 Hit that subscribe and notification button for weekly content that bridges the past to the future with passion and perspective. Thumbs up if we’re hitting the right notes! Let’s get the conversation rolling—drop a comment and let’s chat about today’s topics.
For the real deal, uncensored and all, swing by our Patreon at patreon.com/unsolicitedperspectives for exclusive episodes and more.
Thank you for tuning into Unsolicited Perspectives with Bruce Anthony. Let's continue the conversation in the comments and remember, stay engaged, stay informed, and always keep an open mind. See you in the next episode!
#podcast #mentalhealth #relationships #currentevents #popculture #fyp #trending #SocialCommentary
Chapters:
00:00 Special Episode: YouTube Exclusives & Patreon After Hours 🎥🌙🔓
02:58 Crisis or Evolution? Why Your 40s Don’t Have to Suck 🌪️🧬
05:28 Anxiety vs. Ambition: Are You Drowning or Leveling Up? 🌊💡
06:46 Tinder at 45? Risky Moves vs. Purposeful Hustles 💘⚠️💼
12:52 Friendship in Your 40s: Lonely or Lit? 🌵🎉👯
16:30 Aging Like Beyoncé: Why 40+ is the New Upgrade 👑🍷🚀
16:46 The Reddit Post That Sparked a Firestorm 🔥📱
17:16 From Dream Job to Financial Nightmare: Her Story 💼💔💰
19:29 Is He the Villain?" – We Reacts 🎭👀💬
22:36 Behind the Scenes: Real Stories, Real Struggles 🎥💡❤️
26:49 The Final Verdict: Who’s Right, Who’s Wrong? ⚖️🤔✨
32:21 A Friend in Need or Just in Need? The Shocking Backstory Revealed 👀🤔
35:23 When the Tables Turn: The Moment Everything Changed 💡🔄
37:57 Face-Off: Calling Out Fake Friendship Energy 😤🚨
43:25 Hard Truths: What This Taught Me About Choosing Friends 🧠💔
46:54 Spotting Real Ones: How to Tell Who’s Actually Got Your Back 🕵️♂️🤝
48:41 Friendship or Free Ride? The Truth About Keeping It 50/50 ⚖️🤷♂️
50:51 Are We Friends or Just Friendly? Drawing the Line in the Sand 🏖️🚧
55:56 Wig Chats & Self-Care Realness: Let’s Get Personal! 💇🏾♀️✨
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Transcript
Midlife Crisis vs. Positive Evolution
00:00:00
Speaker
How do you know if you're having a midlife crisis or you're just leveling up in your 40s? Why are so many people making wild decisions? And what does positive aging really mean? We're going to get into Let's get.
00:00:22
Speaker
Welcome.
Introduction to 'Unsolicited Perspectives'
00:00:23
Speaker
First of all, welcome. This is Unsolicited Perspectives. I'm your host, Bruce Anthony, here to lead the conversation in important events and topics that are shaping today's society. same Join the conversation and follow us wherever you get your audio podcast.
00:00:37
Speaker
Subscribe to our YouTube channel for our video podcast and YouTube exclusive content. Rate, review, like, comment, share. Share with your friends, share with your family, hell, even share with your enemies.
00:00:49
Speaker
On today's episode, we're breaking down the myths of the midlife crisis. Are you spiraling or leveling up in your 40s? Plus,
Episode Overview: Midlife Myths and More
00:00:58
Speaker
I'm going to give you guys a wild sneak peek into our After Hours Uncensored show, and then we're diving into a juicy Reddit relationship drama.
00:01:06
Speaker
But that's enough of the intro. Let's get to the show.
00:01:17
Speaker
So guys, this is a holiday weekend and my sister is busy and I'm going to take a little vacation. But that does not mean that I'm not going to give you guys content.
00:01:29
Speaker
This show is a compilation of two of our YouTube exclusive shows and a sneak peek into one or one of our After Hours Uncensored shows. I want to let
Holiday Content Plans
00:01:40
Speaker
all the parents know parental discretion is advised.
00:01:43
Speaker
We will also not be releasing a show this Tuesday, but we will be back next Friday. We'll be back in just one week. But if you want some more original content from us, we will be releasing a YouTube exclusive on our YouTube page on Tuesday that would replace the normal audio podcast or video podcast show.
00:02:05
Speaker
But without further ado, here's the very first YouTube exclusive, not the very first YouTube exclusive that ever did, but the very first YouTube exclusive is that we're gonna be featuring on this show, and it's talking about midlife crisis and positive aging.
00:02:20
Speaker
Let's get into it. Jay,
Analyzing Midlife Crisis vs. Positive Aging
00:02:21
Speaker
this YouTube exclusive and this topic, and the reason why I'm making a YouTube exclusive topic and not on the podcast is because I'm not going to throw people under the bus, but I kind of am.
00:02:32
Speaker
I don't know why people talk to me. it It's going to become content. It's going to become content. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to be 45 in a few months. You are going to be 41 this summer.
00:02:44
Speaker
Yep. we Our friend group, our peers are typically our age, right? And this is when they say that you get that midlife crisis going. I definitely did. That's why I'm in school. Well, okay, so no, you didn't.
00:02:58
Speaker
What you are doing is evolving. And there's a difference between a crisis and evolving. As we get older, we naturally evolve. Our positions and things that we view that we were younger is going to change and evolve.
00:03:10
Speaker
So some things change and evolve. and Some things are a legitimate crisis. And I have a few friends that are coming to me. This is the first time I've actually seen a female crisis. With the male crisis, you typically see it.
00:03:24
Speaker
They start acting younger. They start getting earrings, dangling earrings. Thank you. yeah Okay, it feels very pointed. No. right I actually am not going through crisis because there is never any point in my life where I felt like I missed out on something.
00:03:41
Speaker
Yeah. So, and like, I'm not out here trying to date young women. Like, I specifically tell the young women, you're too young for me. yeah I'm not messing with you. i You don't got nothing for me. yeah You know, I'm not buying cars or anything like that, you know. So, no, I'm not going through a crisis.
00:03:57
Speaker
yeah i I actually am doing things... that I know that I want to do, have always wanted to do, because I know this is morbid, that my time here is more time behind me than there is ahead of me. We winding down. We wind, we head into the upper room.
00:04:13
Speaker
Yeah. And, but that's part of it, right? yeah Getting this, yeah people hit this midlife crisis because in the forties, because they're like you're either at the halfway point or you pass the halfway point. Yeah. Right. And so what is the difference between midlife crisis and what's naturally evolving.
00:04:30
Speaker
And I'm going to get into the different aspects of
Personal Experiences of Aging and Change
00:04:33
Speaker
what is midlife crisis and what's positive aging. That's a term, positive aging. Have you experienced anything around your peer group, people that are your age that that you think is a crisis but might not be a crisis?
00:04:49
Speaker
I literally I've been calling my decision to make this career pivot and go back to school. I've been telling people this is my midlife crisis that I was dissatisfied with my life.
00:05:04
Speaker
And I'm at the midpoint and I'm like, something's got to change. but And you know, Black women, we go and get a degree or LLC. right And so I went and I got it um getting a degree. So that's, I have been calling this my midlife crisis, but I would like to think of this as positive aging. It's absolutely positive aging. So so what are some of the differences that are midlife crisis and positive positive aging? So let's
Societal Perceptions of Midlife vs. Growth
00:05:29
Speaker
go with the emotional state because that's typically where it goes through. Mm-hmm.
00:05:32
Speaker
That's typically where it starts, right? Yeah. Aspects of a midlife crisis in an emotional state is high anxiety, regret, dissatisfaction, and sleeplessness. If you have any of those things, you might be going through a midlife crisis. But ah an example of positive aging is optimism, gratitude, and acceptance.
00:05:51
Speaker
Yeah. So the reason why I say you going off and doing a career pivot, you're more optimistic about your future. Yeah. Yes. Yes. and you're accepting that this is my future. it yeah You might have had anxiety, but it wasn't anxiety of getting older. It was anxiety of, am I doing what I'm supposed to be doing?
00:06:12
Speaker
So you switched, but the switch isn't being impulsive and doing something detrimental to your wellbeing. okay it's do It's doing something that's positive.
00:06:24
Speaker
Right. So I was feeling that anxiety, that dissatisfaction. and so I did something to turn it into gratitude. And I've become accepting and optimistic about getting older.
00:06:39
Speaker
Which
Evolving Social Connections
00:06:40
Speaker
leads us into the behavioral patterns of somebody who's going through a midlife crisis or somebody who's doing positive aging. A behavioral pattern of somebody that's going through midlife crisis is impulsivity, risky spending or substance abuse.
00:06:54
Speaker
Yeah. Now, you don't like weed, but you really... I don't abuse it. Right, you don't abuse it. I don't abuse it. A behavior pattern of somebody who's doing positive aging is purposeful activities.
00:07:06
Speaker
Writing books, achieving goals, like going back to school. Well, hey, all right. see so So when you put this into the context, so a lot of my friends are starting to do impulsive things. Do you know?
00:07:20
Speaker
I have more 40-year-old friends now.
00:07:26
Speaker
I'm sorry, but I gotta say it. I've got forty more 40-year-old friends, mid-40s, that have gotten herpes from their sexual partners than I ever experienced of people in their 20s. Now,
Bruce's Midlife Reflections
00:07:41
Speaker
herpes is a thing, is more prevalent than people realize. Yes.
00:07:47
Speaker
But the reason why they got them, one, their partners were cheating on them, but their partners were people that they should not have been with at their big age. you It was people that you could see on paper wasn't the right situation for them. is a risky choice. But because of their age and their impulsivity, they were making risky choices that put them in that situation. Just like men being like, I'm going to get young girl. Nah, bro, you 45.
00:08:15
Speaker
Don't try to mess with no 20-year-old popping Viagra and trying to maintain... Putting shoes with the rubber soles so you can go dancing. You're going mess around and give yourself a heart attack messing with these young ass women. And guess what?
00:08:29
Speaker
You ain't going to able to. Well, some men are really immature, so I guess they can have conversations with 26 year old women. But I can't. Yeah. Like I can't. So that's not risky behavior that I'm going to do.
00:08:40
Speaker
So, yes, there is a difference between behavior patterns between midlife crisis and positive aging. So you are positively aging. Nice. Nice. Another one is focusing or dwelling on past mistakes or comparing oneself unfavorably to others.
00:08:58
Speaker
Verse positive aging, which is embracing new challenges and personal growth. I am positively aging, y'all. That is really nice. I
Reddit Relationship Drama Analysis
00:09:08
Speaker
mean, seriously, because this entire time i have literally been calling this my midlife crisis.
00:09:14
Speaker
No, there's a difference. I. You know, crisis, some people are actually going through a crisis. yeah But there should be another term called midlife awakening. Yeah.
00:09:25
Speaker
Right? yeah that would That would be equal to or that would transition into positive aging. Yeah. Because all this is, I've, I talked about, I probably, I think I came over with this term previously. Didn't I come with this term previously?
00:09:39
Speaker
Midlife awakening? No. Yeah, something like that. Midlife evolution. I came with something like this on a previous podcast. I said something like this because I said, I've been going through it throughout my 40s.
00:09:51
Speaker
People are like, you're going through a crisis. it's like, why am I going through a crisis? Because your mentality is changing. i was like, I feel like my mentality is changing for the better. I feel like I've grown up. Yes.
00:10:01
Speaker
I feel like I've grown up. I don't want to do kid stuff no more. And well, that's not true. I still want to play. I still absolutely want to do kid things ah because millennials, we we lost our childhood a little bit um because the world is so crazy. But like, i I feel like I've grown up in that I'm taking more accountability for my own life in that I realized like, hey, I'm on the other side of a hill.
00:10:32
Speaker
I only got so much time left in front of me What am I going to do with it to make sure that on my final days, I feel content with the life that I've led?
00:10:47
Speaker
So that's, I think that's where the awakening kind of comes up. Like, it's like, okay, you start thinking about your mortality and you're just like, would I be content with the life that I've led so far? And if the answer is no, then you're like, okay, let's make some changes.
00:11:02
Speaker
Right. If you if you about to go to that upper room and your life flashes before your eyes and you like, oh, that's all I did. Let's make some changes. Yeah. So another example of midlife crisis versus positive aging is physical engagement declined due to stress or neglect.
00:11:20
Speaker
hmm. So you just, you know, you're not doing anything. You laying up and you chilling and you ain't doing nothing. Versus positive aging, which is an active lifestyle, i.e. exercising or pursuing hobbies.
00:11:34
Speaker
yeah So some people will get into their 40s and they'll just be like, all right, I'm good. Like i yeah I got a few people that are just like, Well, whatever. And yeah me mentally, I can't wait to get there to where I have to work out anymore. But it's not going to be until like 7, 60, around late 60s, early 70s.
00:11:54
Speaker
I'm not going to care no more after that. I'm to eat all the Popeye's chicken I want. You need a chicken sandwich every day. You think so. But once you get to that age, you'll be like, no, I'm trying to stay here for a little bit longer. Well, OK, maybe. right I don't see ah see a world in which you specifically are not active.
00:12:11
Speaker
not Well, not not active, right? I'm always going to do something because my anxiety dictates that I have to do something or else I'm going to go crazy. yes but But to work out this hard, to work out six days a week and watch my dad like that, eventually I'm going to get to an age where like I'm good. yeah like I don't have to do this anymore. But now is not that time.
00:12:29
Speaker
Now's not the time, but there are some people who absolutely are. And then I see other people who are absolutely becoming obsessed. Yeah. Which isn't necessarily a good thing in and of itself, being obsessed about it, but have become super active. Because once again, when you get to this age, it's like, I'm on the other side.
00:12:49
Speaker
want to be ah i want to be here a little bit longer. Mm-hmm. ah Social connections. All right. Withdrawing from relationships versus building meaningful relations relationships.
00:13:00
Speaker
The midlife crisis hits. It also stems from an existential concerns or society pressures leading to impulsive behavior and dissatisfaction. Positive aging focuses on embracing life changes with purpose.
00:13:14
Speaker
Adaptability, optimism, both paths reflect different ways of navigating the challenges of middle age and beyond. ah No, goodness. And beyond.
00:13:25
Speaker
yeah I messed that up. But yeah okay. So this might be a situation where I'm going through a crisis. Because I have withdrawn from relationships. The number of people that I see that yeah in their 40s and up that ain't got no friends,
00:13:46
Speaker
Boy oh boy, you gon' wish you had them friends when you're retired and you don't have nothing to do with your day. You gon' wish you had people to talk to.
00:13:56
Speaker
You gon' wish you had built meaningful relationships. and of And the crazy thing is, and I love that this, I'm... so Every time you do a versus, I'm on the positive aging side.
00:14:08
Speaker
I've become, at this age, more invested in strengthening my relationships with people and and creating meaningful interactions with people. Like, I've become more invested in doing that um because I know how important, especially as we get older, building community is.
00:14:31
Speaker
Yeah. And having good people around you Because, I mean, look, we one by one, going start as we get older to have those conversations. You hear about so-and-so, she passed on.
00:14:44
Speaker
You hear about so-and-so, he's gone now. Like, you're going to need people. i hate when I see in high school, I volunteer at a school.
00:14:59
Speaker
I don't like old folks home. What's it? A retirement community. um And just the ah amount of people just with nobody to visit them. Not friend. Well, maybe they was nasty. Maybe they was nasty.
00:15:12
Speaker
Yeah. But I mean, again, that's it. That's also something, right? It's like you didn't step outside of yourself. Take your ego out of whatever you got going on.
00:15:24
Speaker
and build meaningful relationships and community with people. You couldn't get out of your own way to do that. And now you're at the the winter of your life and you're alone.
00:15:37
Speaker
And that's sad. It's really sad. Well, I think that when I first read this about relationships, I was like, whoa, I'm in a midlife crisis because I've been killing a lot of relationships.
00:15:51
Speaker
But also... I don't think that's true. ah Well, no. I have i've been cutting relationships with people down like, i don't this doesn't benefit me. Exactly. right It's different. But if it's something meaningful, then I gravitate towards that. So for all those people out there that are in their 40s, you need to look at this list and determine, are you going through crisis or positive aging?
00:16:13
Speaker
Because you could be like my sister and think you're going through a crisis and be positive aging. And you could also think that you're positively aging and you could be going through a crisis. You need to examine which one. And then... If you're going through a crisis, get some help.
00:16:26
Speaker
There's some people out there that can help you through your tough times. yeah Getting older doesn't mean that we have to get worse. yeah I actually think it's getting better. Like why? Aging like fine, why?
00:16:38
Speaker
That's how we going to do it.
00:16:47
Speaker
For our next YouTube exclusive, we're going talking about a crazy Reddit story about marriage that has gone awry. Let's get to it.
00:16:58
Speaker
OK, Jay, went on my favorite social media, Reddit, and found another Am I Overreacting? The title of it is Wife Lies Makes No Money. So let me read it to the ladies gentlemen. and um Let me read it to you guys, and then going to get your response from it. So this is what they this is what the person wrote in their post for Reddit.
00:17:18
Speaker
I'm lost at the moment, folks. Some background. My wife and I have been together for seven years. She is currently unemployed. When we first started dating, she got a new job, quotation mode quotation marks, and all of her previous have been six figures.
00:17:32
Speaker
At the time, I was younger by a few years and just getting into my career. Since that job, she hasn't held a new job more than two years. She's currently unemployed and has been for 15 months.
00:17:43
Speaker
She deals with anxiety and depression, et cetera. And I'm trying to be supportive of her mental shortcomings. We are now married several years. Yeah, we are now married several years. She held a job for a good time while we got married.
00:17:58
Speaker
It was after marriage, everything seemed to fall apart. She's on her second firing backslash layoff since 2022. And we are broke. I've liquidated 25K of my retirement savings already just to make ends meet.
00:18:11
Speaker
We own a home. We can't afford it. and debt we can't pay off. Then this evening, she got drunk tonight and in her N.A. in her drunken state.
00:18:22
Speaker
This is his words, ladies and gentlemen. i'm trying to read it. Mentioned that, I'm sorry I lied to you and I made you think I was successful. I've never been able to keep a job. I dug in to get more clarity here.
00:18:33
Speaker
And more or less, she gets a six-figure job for a year and then gets fired or quits. Just before us meeting, she took a year sabbatical, which I'm realizing now just means she got fired and didn't want to work.
00:18:46
Speaker
I married her under the certain impression of financial stability. We have a lifestyle built around such. I've drained my retirement, making ends meet. Her only contributing in the last six months is draining hers.
00:18:58
Speaker
Tonight, she states that applying for jobs like what I had before is a 7 to 10 and stress. Mind you, this is applying, not interviewing, not taking a job, applying with three exclamation points.
00:19:11
Speaker
Mm hmm. Am I overreacting? We both want kids. I've never entertained that. We can't afford it. We are barely making ends meet now. Also, I feel like I was lied to majorly in all caps about where our finances are. Making six figures is awesome, but the fact that she can't afford a job, can't hold a job for year is totally different.
00:19:30
Speaker
Okay. Jay, what do you think about all that? He is absolutely not overreacting. She lied. She did lie. She lied. um And listen, again, marriage is a business agreement.
00:19:45
Speaker
It's a partnership deal. You have to sign a contract to get into it. You got to go to a judge to get out of it. It is a it is a it is a business deal. And in that, inherent in that, is the financial discussion.
00:20:00
Speaker
And There is nothing wrong with thinking that you guys are in a certain place and going to have a certain kind of lifestyle and relying on that. Right.
00:20:12
Speaker
um and And she lied. First of all, I don't know what industry she's in, but she needs to get out of it. club Clearly, ah it causes her way too much stress to work in that industry. Even though she makes good money, she needs to find something else to do.
00:20:28
Speaker
Like, that that's that's the answer. but I was having stress in the industry I was in So now I'm in school to do something that I really want to do. Now, consequently, what I really want to do is go make me some money. so that's great.
00:20:41
Speaker
but it But i'm doing i'm doing I've decided to do something that I really want to do. So she's obviously in the wrong industry. No, you're not overreacting. She lied.
00:20:51
Speaker
But now that you know that, if you want to stay together, y'all are going to have to probably sell that house. Y'all probably going to have to give up some assets to get out of debt.
00:21:03
Speaker
And she's going to have to figure out what it is that she can do that she can do for an extended amount of time and bring some money. you can't just not work just because you don't you don't.
00:21:15
Speaker
It gives you stress. Also, mental health issues are not shortcomings. My God. i I could like literally my skin crawl when I read that. But um now he's not overreacting.
00:21:29
Speaker
Not at all. she She lied. And she admitted, I'm sorry I lied to you about being successful. um It shouldn't have taken taken him that long. I said took him. It shouldn't have taken him that long. Honestly, the real life. I mean, homegirl ain't been working for two years. Yeah.
00:21:47
Speaker
Y'all probably off and on off and on. she yeah Right. But she hadn't been working for the last 15 months. Yeah. So yes they like a couple months into that, you should have been like, hey, we need to start making some decisions because we're draining our retirement to try to keep up a lifestyle that we are not a part of, like that we cannot afford.
00:22:06
Speaker
Children are out of the question until y'all get out of debt and get on your feet. Like that's absolutely out of the question. um But yeah, I mean, they both kind of need to get real and and about their situation and you're married now. And if you
Financial Instability and Relationship Changes
00:22:23
Speaker
want to stay married, you're going to work together to figure it out, but she can't just use her mental health issues as a crutch to not do anything.
00:22:36
Speaker
Okay. I think i might surprise you with my answer. Okay. I think the situation is way more nuanced. And I think he is not overreacting and overreacting at the same time.
00:22:51
Speaker
Explain. Okay. So... Yes, she was not truthful. But most of time in most relationships, people hold ah something close to the cards that come out during the marriage. And you're just like, wait a minute, wasn't expecting this before. And it was like, oh, surprise.
00:23:10
Speaker
Yeah. So that in that regard, he absolutely is right for his reaction. He should feel perceived. Yes. Also... It's not only a contract, but there are things that you save on your wedding day.
00:23:26
Speaker
And one of the things is be there for you, who's thick and thin, health, richer or for poor, better for worse, rich or poor. I wish I remembered words because I said them almost 15 years ago, but don't remember. It was 15 years ago. Yeah, but it was something like that, right? Yeah.
00:23:42
Speaker
The for better or for worse part is people who remember that. Yeah. For richer for poor. Yeah. Right? That's one of the things. In sickness and in health, yes. Sickness and in health. So if you're not real about that commitment,
00:23:55
Speaker
then you came into the marriage under false pretenses as well. Yeah. So most people are not serious when they, in my opinion, because i'm biased because I don't understand marriage, but it feels to me like, yeah, I'm saying for richer for poorer, but I'm marrying a baller. So I'm straight. Like nobody's really thinking about it. And then a lot of problems come in with something does happen.
00:24:22
Speaker
Hello. I was serious about mine. took those words very, very seriously, but like So if that's the case, then he walked into it deceiving, being deceitful as well.
00:24:34
Speaker
So you had two people walking into a marriage being deceitful. And mental health is not shortcomings, like you said. he needs to acknowledge that. And yes, it was great that she was making six figures.
00:24:46
Speaker
Might need to make a career change. Might need to go back to school. Definitely need to downsize your life. Probably should have downsized your life after the first six months. I had a friend who got married. And six months into the marriage, his wife quit her job.
00:24:59
Speaker
the beginning, he was supportive. He was like, Arvett's stressing you out. Quit your job. Cool. Find another job. Two, three months into it, she's still not working. I'm going to him every day. Every day, like, she still ain't got no job?
00:25:11
Speaker
No. And then I said, and this is patriarchy. I know it. Then I said, well, at least, you know, you come home home-cooked meal and the house is clean. He says, no, I leave for work and she's on the couch.
00:25:23
Speaker
I come back from work and she's on the couch. I was like, well, obviously she's going through something. Yes. So probably should get her some help. But also you kind of need to have a conversation to her with her like, hey.
00:25:35
Speaker
Yeah. god we We got to do something here because something got to be contributed to this household. Yes. So my Mary, look, you thought life was going to be a certain way. We all plan for certain things.
00:25:47
Speaker
We all plan for our lives to be a certain way. Yes. Sometimes you got switch up. Sometimes you just have to switch up. If I decided right now that I wanted to downsize my life to give myself more time for this podcast.
00:26:02
Speaker
I would have to downsize my life. That would mean that I would have to stop working as hard as I do to make the money that I make. I would have to downsize where I live. I'd probably have to get a little bit cheaper.
00:26:13
Speaker
you know i would have to shop at Aldi for all my groceries. Probably wouldn't be able to drink Casamigos anymore. Probably got to drink the Kirkland brand tequila, which is just fine on a regular basis, right?
00:26:24
Speaker
yeah i would dare I would downgrade my life to do the things that I want to do that would bring me happiness. Right. Bruh, you thought it was going to be one way. It's not.
00:26:35
Speaker
So that's the reason I said it was a lot more nuanced. Like he's overreacting, but also not overreacting. Yeah. Because she was deceitful, but at the same time, life happens and you got to switch up.
00:26:49
Speaker
Yeah. I disagree. I think... No, I hear you, but I did i i hear your perspective, but i disagree. I think when you say those vows, you're saying them in good faith of like,
00:27:03
Speaker
I'm not saying for richer or for poorer. I'm saying that if life happens, I'm going to be there. That is not a license to give people carte blanche to do whatever they want.
00:27:16
Speaker
She's doing whatever she wants. And that's working. But also self-help doing mental health issues. And is she getting help for that? what That's what I said. i was like, yo, first of all, these aren't things that she's going... What did he call them again?
00:27:29
Speaker
Shortcomings, mental shortcomings. Yeah. it's certain Like, like, okay. Not mental shortcomings. Right. Like you can't, I, I, if anybody understands how bad your situation can get when you're not taking care of your mental health, I understand, but you have a partner now.
00:27:52
Speaker
You can't just use that as a crush to not do anything when you have a responsibility to somebody else too. You're not just responsible for yourself.
00:28:04
Speaker
And so she's not honoring the vows that she made. Yeah, okay, you're You're right. You're right about that. She's out there. if he said those vows in good faith and now we're here two years in and yeah, i said for richer for poorer, but we're supposed to be working together towards something. We're supposed to have some duty, obligation, responsibility to each other.
00:28:26
Speaker
But there's also sickness and health, right? Sickness and health means, I mean, mental health is a part of that. So he should also be supportive in her sickness and in health. Yeah, oh, I definitely agree he has some learning to do because the to call it shortcomings lets me know that you don't understand the headspace that she's in.
00:28:47
Speaker
But I'm also saying that she has a responsibility to him also. yeah Yeah, that's the reason why said it's nuanced. Yes. I said he's not overreacting and overreacting at the same time. i I disagree. I think he is... i think he...
00:29:06
Speaker
I think he was deceived. I think she, it doesn't sound, mean, we're getting his side. We don't know what's going on with her. We don't. But from his perspective, which I will admit is probably skewed because just of the way he called things shortcomings, um,
00:29:23
Speaker
It doesn't seem like it's like your friend and his wife just sitting on it. She's on the couch when he leaves. She's on the couch when he comes back. That's not upholding your part of the vows. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:29:36
Speaker
Because there is things within your control. if you If you can't work because your depression or anxiety is so bad that you can't work, then you need to do something right. You need to get some help.
00:29:49
Speaker
You need to be working towards fixing issues. You can't let them sit like that. There are there is help out there.
00:30:01
Speaker
Like, so, so to me, I don't think he's overreacting. I just don't. I don't, I think if the situation was reversed and you had a woman that was relying on her man, you know, you come into it expecting a certain lifestyle that you two would build together and he lied about it. Everybody would be calling him a dog.
00:30:21
Speaker
Yeah. Even without even asking what he's going through. Right. So we have to apply those same. can keep that same energy.
00:30:34
Speaker
We don't know what she's gone through, but we also know she's not doing anything about it, according to from his perspective.
00:30:42
Speaker
OK, well, that's the reason why I have you on the show to agree and disagree with me at the same time. yeah
Realization of One-sided Friendships
00:30:56
Speaker
As I said at the top, gonna give you guys a sneak peek of one of our episodes of the After Hours Uncensored. Now, I did say at the beginning, parental discretion is advised. Parental discretion is so severely advised during this episode. We start out cussing.
00:31:12
Speaker
I mean, that we cussing throughout the whole 30 minutes of this segment, but it is a sneak peek of one of the episodes of After Hours Uncensored. Once again, you can check out our Patreon page at patreon.com backslash unsolicited perspectives.
00:31:26
Speaker
But once again, I'm giving all of my parents warning. We be cussing in this next segment. All right, that's enough of this intro. Go ahead and enjoy it.
00:31:38
Speaker
I had a very interesting situation that happened to me this week. Are we in the after hours? Yeah, we in after hours now. Damn, we ain't getting no break. would You need a break? Nah, I mean, I guess I just sip my little soda. Tell what happened.
00:31:52
Speaker
God damn. but but yeah That's not how we normally go. We normally unless you. No, you literally, you'll be like, hey, let me go refresh my drink. It's a little break.
00:32:04
Speaker
You just said five, four, three.
00:32:09
Speaker
like again We got another YouTube exclusive. What are we doing? No, no. Damn. We finish it up? Okay. No, I'm trying. Hey, look. I'm trying to get to my Sunday fun day, okay? I just slobbered on myself.
00:32:21
Speaker
Yeah, that happens. Yeah, that just happens. All right. just so This is what happened. Okay. I got to give you backstory. The story is kind of long, but not really long. I'm going try to make it short. Okay. There is a young lady that always thought was my friend.
00:32:34
Speaker
and okay Okay. So another one of them situations, right, yeah that I often find myself in. And this one was a little different because she was the stepdaughter of a client. Okay. So I knew the couple, the couple, the the stepmother, interracial couple. love that couple, right? Interracial couple.
00:32:51
Speaker
Yeah. The woman was around my age. the The father was older. The father was a retired army guy. Got drunk with him one time. Told me he was like, yeah, I'm the guy that they sent to go assassinate people.
00:33:06
Speaker
And I was like, bro, don't really think you. don't think you're supposed to telling Yeah, I think you're supposed to still be under an and NDA for that. but Yeah. And I was like, I don't really want to know this. If somebody come and try to torture me to get information, I'm going to give you up.
00:33:17
Speaker
like I don't really know you like that. And I'm not going to through torture. Yeah, like at all. Like as soon as the the guy comes in and unfurls the little bit of thing and it's got all these tools in it. I'm like, listen, you ain't got to do all that.
00:33:34
Speaker
it Go give me an extra value meal with a Sprite and a table quarter. I'll tell you whatever you want to know. you and You don't have to do that. yeah I was like, look.
00:33:45
Speaker
you All you had to do was walk in and ask me something first. You ain't even asking her. Hold on, hold on, man. You just assumed that I was going hold this information. I don't even know I'm here. Ask me a question first.
00:33:56
Speaker
And I was like, those look, those look, those tools look real torturous. Like, what were you planning? Look, I'm going tell you right now. Coming with a car battery? For what? Look, look. And it would have to be no expensive extra value meal. Just give me a Big Mac and fries.
00:34:10
Speaker
I don't even really need no, you can give me water. don't even need no no Sprite. I'm going to tell you everything you need to know. Yeah. But anyway, so I was real cool with them and they were like, I didn't, I wasn't her direct trainer. She took a class, the stepmother.
00:34:23
Speaker
And they were like, hey, our, our, my stepdaughter is staying with us for the summer. She's vol heights a college volleyball player. Can train her? And I was like, yeah, I can train her. So I gave her, you know, it was like and we did a couple of sessions just to like keep her in shape during the summer. It wasn't that many. Like I was not her trainer.
00:34:40
Speaker
Yeah. There's one time we were at the bar. I was at the bar. Remember, she's college. so She's underage and she's drinking and she's at the table with these guys. It's like three or four guys. And i was like, oh, hey, the I was at the bar. i was like, hey, how you doing?
00:34:54
Speaker
It's like, do you know those guys? No, not really. they're buying me drinks. i was like, I'll walk you home. Yeah. She's like, you no, don't need to be walking home. I'll be fine. i was like, okay, I'll walk you home. Yeah. And as I was leaving, i was like, because she was like, no, don't worry about it. As I was leaving, I was like, hey, I'm leaving.
00:35:10
Speaker
Do you want to leave with me? She's like, yeah, i think I'll leave with you. And sure enough, as we were walking, we left out. They were following us. And I pointed it out to her and I was like, see, I could tell that those guys, like, look at what they're doing. They're following us. This wasn't going be a good situation.
00:35:24
Speaker
So because of that, she knew that I would always look after her. We became friends. We legit, in my mind, legitimately became friends. Anytime she came in town, she was like, hey, do you want to hang out? And there's a... Real age disparity, right? yeah It's got to be like 10 years.
00:35:38
Speaker
Yeah. um But we always had that one older friend that you just, that was just a good, solid person. yeah Right. And when her parents moved, when the stepmother and the father moved to Florida, she was going to a college right down the street from me.
00:35:54
Speaker
And she would, this is after i split with my, with my ex and she, ah she She would be like, hey, what are you doing? Can I stop by and hang out? Like, yeah. And I knew it was to get out of the house that she was living in with her roommates. she just She needed something that was older and more mature every now and then to get out of that stuff, right? Yeah, yeah for sure.
00:36:16
Speaker
I helped her move out of that townhouse to put her stuff in storage when all of her roommates like didn't lift a finger. Right? Yeah. Yeah. So she leaves. She graduates. She leaves. And like I didn hadn't heard from her for months.
00:36:28
Speaker
And I reached out to her. And i was like, hey, you know, how you doing? How you been? haven't heard from you in a while. And then she said something. I'm paraphrasing. how i read This is how I read it. It's like, we're not really friends like that anyway. And I was like, oh, OK. All right.
00:36:42
Speaker
Cool. Yeah. what in so i like just stopped reaching out yeah the years she would now and then reach out like hey how you doing you catch up i thought we weren't friends but i'm not that type of petty so i'm like all right i know you are she would be left on red right but i'm not that type of petty somebody reaches out i never ignore people i'm gonna say i'm good blah blah blah and then she would always reach out when she was having issues she got married and i'd said I said, was like, don't know. This seems kind of quick.
00:37:12
Speaker
You get married. You barely know the person. Sure enough, things didn't work out. She cheated. They eventually get a divorce. During that whole process of her getting a divorce, who is she calling? Me. You're the only person I could talk to. I can't really talk to my family or anything about this. I know I could be open and honest with you. You're going get me real.
00:37:28
Speaker
Right. i was like, oh, yeah, I got your back. This is during the pandemic. Yeah. Yeah. I sent her a couple of text messages about the podcast. One, she responded to. Two, she didn't. But I sent a lot of text messages, like mass text messages. So sometimes people didn't respond. I didn't really pay attention to that.
00:37:45
Speaker
yeah Somebody, a friend of mine, was talking about this woman on the internet on Instagram. And I was like, wow, that looks like my friend. yeah So it made me think about it. And I was like yo, I haven't talked to her in a while.
00:37:57
Speaker
I should just reach out see how she's doing. So I reached out this week. I reached out on something like Monday and it was like, hey, how you doing? Haven't talked to you while. Friend brought up somebody that kind of resembled you and thought I'd reach out see how you're doing.
00:38:09
Speaker
She's like, hey, wow. Yeah, everything is good. I'm married. I have a two-year-old and I'm stationed at Fort Belvoir because she was in the armed forces. And I said, wait a minute, what?
00:38:23
Speaker
That's a lot to have happened in two years because last time talked to her was two years ago. yeah She was in the process of getting a divorce. So you're married with a two-year-old and I don't know anything about this.
00:38:33
Speaker
And guess where Fort Belvoir is? I don't know. D.C. So she was in Alabama. She was in Alabama, Arkansas or something like that when she was going through the divorce. Now she's in D.C.
00:38:45
Speaker
And I was like, well, hold on. So you got married. Mm-hmm. You had a two-year-old. And you're right down the fucking road. Mm-hmm. And you didn't reach out not one time, but yet you were constantly reaching out when you were going through it, knowing that I was only one you could talk to.
00:39:03
Speaker
Mm-hmm. I was like, I texted you a couple times about the podcast. You didn't respond back. Really? i didn't I was like, do you have the same number? Same number. ah was like, okay.
00:39:14
Speaker
She was like, I don't have it in my thread. i was like, it's because you probably deleted it. She was like, oh, you keep receipts. i was like, well, I just don't delete text messages because you just never know when got to call somebody out.
00:39:26
Speaker
yeah I was like, oh, okay. And then try to have a continuously have the conversation. I got real short of my answers because I was like, oh, so you only knew fucking reach out. When you're in need.
00:39:37
Speaker
But I'm not truly a friend of yours. So since
Identifying Genuine Friendships
00:39:40
Speaker
I'm not truly a friend, you didn't tell me about you getting married. You didn't tell me about you having a kid. You didn't tell me that you moved back into the area. Take care of yourself.
00:39:50
Speaker
This why you get on my fucking nerves, Bruce. Wait a minute. What did I do? Because she already told you y'all weren't friends. And that's when you should have left her on read.
00:40:01
Speaker
Hold on when i told when she said that, I was like, oh, we're we're not. And then as she was thinking about it, she was like, you're the only one that was there for me. You're only ones that supported me. And don't get me wrong, she's got some issues with abandonment and things of that nature.
00:40:16
Speaker
But that's the reason why I chalked it up to the game, because I do that. There are times where I think that I'm not friends with people, and I actually am. But OK, you're right. I'd be fucking up. Yeah. You cannot keep continuing to make the mistake that you of you thinking you're friends with somebody.
00:40:33
Speaker
Yeah, I don't do that. it's just And I actually said that to somebody once. It was a I was involved in and her. ah ah It's like a life coach business, right? I would do her photography and videography.
00:40:50
Speaker
I understood that this is a business relationship. You call when you need photography and videography services. I was never under the impression that we were friends. So I'm posting a lot about her business, different events she got coming up. Then I have my own event and it's crickets on her page.
00:41:11
Speaker
So the next time she hit me up to photograph something, I send her a bill. And she was like, oh I thought we were friends. i don't understand where this is coming. It's coming out left field. And I said, I never made the mistake of thinking you were my friend.
00:41:25
Speaker
This was always business. Wait a minute. Did you know that she wasn't your friend or did you realize she wasn't your friend when she didn't post anything on her page after you had been an advocate for her?
00:41:38
Speaker
No, that's when I realized our business relationship was unequal. Ah, okay. and That's when I realized our business relationship was unequal. But I never make the mistake of thinking that somebody is my friend when the relationship is clearly fucking one-sided.
00:41:56
Speaker
Homegirl didn't do a fucking thing for you, Bruce. Never. But you so intent on rescuing motherfuckers. And giving people the benefit of the doubt that you keep putting yourself in this situation, you should have never gotten involved with her personal business if this motherfucker is not your friend.
00:42:17
Speaker
Well, I didn't know that she wasn't my friend. She told you, we're not friends with that. And then she was like, no, you're absolutely right. right We are friends. But I should have been at that moment.
00:42:29
Speaker
And it's not like i It's not like it's not like i tell her shit about me. Right? It's not like i But it's also not like she ever asked.
00:42:40
Speaker
Or maybe actually people, I don't know. You know, people do ask and I just don't be sharing shit. So sometimes. Okay, that's one thing. But that's not what this situation was. No, this situation was not. This is somebody using you. Yeah.
00:42:53
Speaker
For when they are in need and feel like you would understand their situation. But it was 100% one-sided. Yeah, it was. It was one-sided. Yeah. This person was not ever your friend.
00:43:04
Speaker
oh Yeah, don't She told you that, realized she said the quiet part out loud and tried to backtrack because she still needed you for stuff. Oh, You're probably right.
00:43:15
Speaker
Yeah. Please stop doing that. Honestly, I need you to write down a list of all the people you consider a friend and let me let me interrogate this list. um ah Because of this situation.
00:43:28
Speaker
Because of this situation this week, I revisited an issue that I have. it's You know what? It's all my female friends. And that's my fucking problem. i need I need to cut off all these fucking females that are supposedly platonic that are using me to um for whatever reason. Because I have another friend that I'm just like, yo,
00:43:51
Speaker
You DM me, I respond back with memes and stuff. You don't ever really fucking respond back. But then you' randomly you'll randomly hit me up. I haven't seen you in a while. Let's hang out.
00:44:04
Speaker
But like you... Yeah, but where were you on that list of people she asked to hang out with? What number were you? Right. Because she'd be out doing things and I would never get no invite. And you still call on these people. I don't call her my friend anymore. It was this week I was like, oh, okay, well, I'm not going...
00:44:21
Speaker
good luck to And so she sent me something and I just, for once, I ignored it. And I have been, look, as I've gotten older, I've been revisiting these issues. I haven't really had these issues. This just showed me who she was completely.
00:44:36
Speaker
yeah I thought that we were at a different point, but when I was like, oh, you're here and you have reached out to me. Okay, cool. That's all I need to know. I'm not, I'm disappointed. I'm But it's not like I'm angry or upset or anything. And it's not like me not talking to her changes my life in any way. It doesn't.
00:44:52
Speaker
I don't. Yeah. Because she was not your friend. Yeah. But if if I lose a friend, ah person that I call a friend, if I were to lose one of my friends, I would feel that.
00:45:03
Speaker
Yes. That's how you know a person is not your friend. Yeah. Yeah. No. Yeah. and that So that salt even listening to you tell the story, like we supposed to be friends. you didn't even tell me you was a tech.
00:45:16
Speaker
She already told you y'all weren't friends. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're right. You're right. You got to listen to people. Yeah, I do. I do. Okay. You probably got a laundry list of people that are using you for your emotional labor.
00:45:30
Speaker
Not anymore. Not anymore. Because when I turned 43, started cutting people off. Because if they call you and it's always some shit. But I'm also messy, so I like hearing bullshit. I like hearing shit.
00:45:45
Speaker
But don't mistake these people for your friends. Stop calling them your friends. right yeah Just know that this is a person that calls me. They use me for my emotional labor. I'm messy, so I like to hear their stories. But just know that this is there's no equity in this relationship because they don't give a shit about my bullshit.
00:46:01
Speaker
Yeah, no. i See, I i feel like ah feel like you're not understanding me when I explain. I'm not... I hadn't reached out to her in two years. So she wasn't that I didn't have this idea that we were these great, great friends.
00:46:18
Speaker
I assumed that if she was back in town, that she would reach out and be like, hey, I'm back in town. How have you been? Because you assumed she was a friend. assumed that at the very least she was friendly with me. How about that?
00:46:32
Speaker
Even what you thought she should have said. hey, I'm back in town. How have you been? When has she ever said, how have you been?
00:46:43
Speaker
After I asked her how she been? Exactly. Yeah. Yeah, well, you know, but you know what? It's crazy because then sometimes I think, well, I'm friendly with somebody, but they're not really my friend.
00:46:56
Speaker
And then... The podcast is showing me who's like, I've got people out there who are legitimately my friends that I didn't realize that they were my friends. had a friend called me this weekend and they were like, hey, do you can we do you want to go to happy hour?
00:47:13
Speaker
I was like, yeah, that's cool. And we've been trying to connect for a little while. and i was like, yeah, that's cool. Let's go to happy hour. And I was like, she's about to tell me some bullshit. it's We're going to happy hour because she got some bullshit going on. I know what it is.
00:47:24
Speaker
And we go to happy hour and I'm like, so's so what's up? She's like, no, I just wanted to hang out. What? Like, it took me aback. I was like, ain't got no bullshit going on that you need to talk about? No, i just I just wanted to hang out.
00:47:35
Speaker
Yeah. Like, we haven't had, we hung out a few weeks ago in a group setting, but she was like, we haven't had no one-on-one time in a while. And i just
Dynamics of Friendships and Emotional Labor
00:47:42
Speaker
wanted to catch up. yeah I was like, oh. And then as we're talking, she was like, yeah, I remember you said that on your podcast. i was like, oh, you listen?
00:47:49
Speaker
She's like, not to every episode, but I try and listen as much as I can. I was like, you're really my fucking friend. Like, you're really my friend. And it's, you need to start and interrogating why you misidentify friendship So often.
00:48:07
Speaker
I misidentify relationships so often. Because I'm... As we were giving advice to people's perception of reality, yeah, my perception is, yeah, just what this is. And that's not... where But did that you equate the relationship
00:48:25
Speaker
to being used in some way. What? like it's Like... Like that you call friends people who... There's no equity in that relationship.
00:48:38
Speaker
It's just you being counted on. Yeah, it's called trauma. but And when there are people where there's actual equity in your relationship, they want to spend time with you because they enjoy your company.
00:48:52
Speaker
I think it's alter alternative motive. Then you're like, oh, this brother's my friend. shuter Shut up. Shut up.
00:49:01
Speaker
i Is this what friendship means? Yeah, I guess what I've always had a bad judgment when it comes to, well, I've had bad judgment when it comes to relationships all my life.
00:49:15
Speaker
yeah no matter what they are. Friends, family, ah romantic, yeah really piss poor. And there're there's probably some... There's there's the there's a reason behind I haven't pinpointed yet.
00:49:27
Speaker
haven't pinpointed it. There's a reason behind it. yeah I don't know why. Yeah, I mean, even I came to the realization much earlier than you did.
00:49:38
Speaker
um But when I met my best friend... um Well, I'd known her since I was 12, but we became best friends when we were about 16, 17 years old.
00:49:49
Speaker
And I saw the difference between my friendship with her where there was equity and my friendship with other people where there wasn't. Where she, because she loved and cared about me, would tell me when I was being stupid.
00:50:04
Speaker
Whereas people who didn't give a damn about me would just co-sign whatever bullshit I would say. Like that, like that. teaches you that there's like, oh, this is an actual friend.
00:50:20
Speaker
And these people are not that. you But it'd be weird sometimes because I've got friends in my life who co-sign everything that I do. And I'm just like, no, I need you to correct me. And I know that they love or care about man I'm like, no, I need you call me out on my bullshit. And then I have other friends who love- Well, that's an enabler.
00:50:36
Speaker
Yeah. And I have other friends who love to call me out on on my bullshit. I'm like, damn, I need you not to call me out so much. Right. But then I can't trust them around in certain situations.
00:50:47
Speaker
I've got a lot of- You need to start pruning that tree. I'm sorry. You did start pruning that tree. To me, I only, I say friends, but to me, always equate it to if I stop talking to this person, because you know me, I can cut a person off. If I stop talking to this person, would it bother me?
00:51:08
Speaker
yeah like i Like, you know, we have a mutual friend that One time said, like, we had a disagreement. It was like, i don't know if we can be friends anymore. And that shit hurt because it was like a big brother.
00:51:20
Speaker
Yeah. And then I was like, yo, I really love this dude. That shit hurt. Then I've had other people be like, we can't be friends anymore. And I'm like, okay. do Yeah. like reason it Reason and season. You know, I say that every all the time. People are like, for reason and season.
00:51:34
Speaker
So I know who really matters to me by if I sit and think about it, if I never spoke to them again, would it bother me? Yeah. And there's it' all like like three or four people that are not blood. that's why how that's really how it is.
00:51:48
Speaker
yeah that's Yeah. So when I say friends, I don't, I mean, I really mean friendly. Yeah, you you know me that I'm very, very picky about using the word friend.
00:52:01
Speaker
I know. Like for me, you're not my friend, you're my coworker. You know, do you have my personal number? Do I ever call you to hang out? Do I ever do?
00:52:14
Speaker
I don't do any of those things. We only interact at work. You're not my friend. You're my coworker. And I'm not delusional enough to assume otherwise, you know, or like, you know, ah it's just you got to be more selective because not because of them, but for yourself.
00:52:37
Speaker
Like you deserve equity in your relationships. Whether or not you see that, you deserve to have people hold not just contact you because they need something from you.
00:52:49
Speaker
Hold on now. I feel like in the last two years, I've done a real job of weeding these people out. But we still have this conversation every after hours. No, no, we don't. No, we don't. And this was just an interesting story this week because I was like, at the very least, if you didn't consider me friend, we were friendly.
00:53:11
Speaker
Yeah. and and And I know I have a lot of people because of what I do that I'm friendly with that have moved away. And when they come in town, they'll be like, hey, I'm in town. Would you like to get together?
00:53:23
Speaker
And I'm like, I didn't know that we was on that level, but okay, I guess we can get together. But that's not a symbol of friendship. i've I've gone home and not hit not seen my best friend.
00:53:36
Speaker
And that's my best friend. isn't that That's not what defines a friendship. I said friendly. I said friend. See, yeah I say friends, and what I really mean is I'm friendly with the person. Then you got find another word.
00:53:52
Speaker
ah Yes. Acquaintance, associate. But when you tell people that that they're an acquaintance associate, they get offended. Well, no, I'm your friend. I'm like, I'm friendly with you. don't like hurting people's feelings. it right there. I'm done with this therapy session. i People will live. They will live. They will be just fine if you tell them, hey, hey, no.
00:54:20
Speaker
I don't know. I'm pretty cool. People like being my friend. People will be all right. don't know. Some people. People like the amount of labor you're willing to put up for very little in return. That's what they like.
00:54:30
Speaker
Yeah, that's the story of my life. Yes.
Insights on Personal Growth and Self-awareness
00:54:34
Speaker
ah Yeah, you know you need to cut that shit out. You're the middle child. You're able to do shit like that. You're able to go off on your own. I'm the oldest.
00:54:42
Speaker
but yeah No, I don't know. i don't I'm just trying to put some blame on it. Not taking responsibility.
00:54:49
Speaker
Yeah, no, I, like I said, I'm disappointed because at the very least I thought we was friendly. Yeah. And the fact that that that is the way it is now.
00:54:59
Speaker
Okay. So she could say right now, hey, d you know, I got a friend. Let me tell you how fucked up I am. I got a friend who lives right down the road. This is a friend. Okay. She's a friend. and Okay.
00:55:10
Speaker
And I know that she's a friend because anytime she's doing something, she always invites me out. Anytime I invite her out, she always pops up. Even if it's inconvenient for her, she pops up. She lives right down the road.
00:55:21
Speaker
Yeah. And she was like, when you're going to come and visit, her and her husband bought a house two, three years ago. to come and visit me, you live right down the road. Yeah. i'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. going come do it. Two, three years, I still haven't done it. She has every right to be like, don't fuck with Bruce no more.
00:55:36
Speaker
Yeah. and And matter of fact, when we get off of this, going to reach out to her and be like, hey, what is your schedule for the next couple of weeks? I need to come down there and visit you. Because I do need to come down and visit her because she is legitimately my friend.
00:55:49
Speaker
um i Yes, I needed to do more examinations. What's up, Rony? About friendship. But I'm tired of talking about this shit. Let's talk about the fact that I thought that your wig wasn't all right.
00:56:01
Speaker
Yes. This is a headband. This is not My wig is not sliding off my head. It's a headband. It is a headband wig.
00:56:13
Speaker
I just got my locks tightened. They there they look fantastic. I'm very excited about like how far they've come like transitioning to locks. like I'm very happy.
00:56:25
Speaker
But they're still not in a place where I can just wear my hair out. So I do have a bunch of headband wigs because they're very easy to wear. You just shake them bad boys and go.
00:56:37
Speaker
And that's what I like. I'm not going to do no whole doing down the baby. I'm not going to all that. and Okay. I'm not going to have no 40 inch bust down. It's a nice little bob.
00:56:53
Speaker
Keep it natural. But no, my wig is not sliding off my head. It's a headband. And even though you got the new light and you all shining bright, skin is flawless and you don't look no 41.
00:57:05
Speaker
God damn. Yeah. Somebody lied to me the other day. So they were trying to sell me a timeshare. So this I know is a lie. help i was at a I was at a hotel picking my friend up. We were going to go get some dinner.
00:57:19
Speaker
And they were like, ah the person that worked there was like, you travel. They were at
Closing Message and Gratitude
00:57:23
Speaker
a little, little podium and stuff. You travel. I say, yeah, travel already in my mind. I'm like, this is about to be some timeshare.
00:57:32
Speaker
This is about to be some timeshare mess. And I know it. Uh, well, listen, Hey, you come for our, uh, for our talk, our presentation, it's two hours.
00:57:43
Speaker
I can hook you up with a free vacation and a cruise. So I'm gonna go back and do it, but I'm gonna let them know. ain't buying no timeshare, but she said, you just gotta to be over 28. Are you over 28?
00:57:56
Speaker
I said, God bless you for saying that. Uh, yes, I'm very much over 28. was like, what? And I was like, yeah, I am. I'm absolutely over 28.
00:58:07
Speaker
And, and then she was like, I, that I asked because I didn't think that you were. And then everybody, all the hotel workers is all chiming in. And I'm like, y'all full of it. I'm 40 years old.
00:58:18
Speaker
And I absolutely look 40 years old. Because 40 years old is not 90. It's one, it's one year over 39. It's not that old. All right. So,
00:58:31
Speaker
before Before this goddamn Thanksgiving, and I blame Cracker Barrel. You should. um I was down in my weight, skin with floor. That night that we went out to the bar, like I was like, oh I'm holding it the fuck down. And I'm not holding the fuck down anymore. I look in the mirror, like, goddamn, what the fuck's going on? So I need to get back to my shit.
00:58:55
Speaker
yeah But... but I have this weird thing in my dating life, whereas the women my age tend to look old.
00:59:08
Speaker
Like old.
00:59:14
Speaker
What race are they? yes um
00:59:22
Speaker
Because as you know, black does not crack. Black doesn't crack. Well aware. Black doesn't crack if you take care of yourself. True. Like hard living on anybody is just going to show up on you.
00:59:35
Speaker
Right. All right. I want to thank everybody for watching and listening to the show. I want to wish everybody a happy holiday weekend. Once again, there won't be an episode releasing this upcoming Tuesday, but we will be back for the sibling happy hour next Friday.
00:59:50
Speaker
And once again, if you miss us, we will still have original content on our YouTube page. We are going to have... three different YouTube exclusives that's going to be airing over the next seven days.
01:00:03
Speaker
So check those out. Also, clips from our other shows. If you haven't watched or listened to the full shows, clips from our other shows. And then once again, you can always join our Patreon. And within a couple of months, you won't have to join the Patreon because I know some people don't know how to really work Patreon, which is just a website that you sign up to.
01:00:22
Speaker
But what we're going to start doing is offering memberships for our After Hours Uncensored and special exclusive stuff on our YouTube page. Memberships would be just like the Patreon, and we will announce them when we release them.
01:00:36
Speaker
But on that note, enjoy your weekend. Take some time to yourself. Reflect. to Love yourself. Thank you for listening. Thank you for watching. And until next time, as always,
01:00:49
Speaker
I'll holla. That was a hell of a show. Thank you for rocking with us here on Unsolicited Perspectives with Bruce Anthony. Now before you go, don't forget to follow, subscribe, like, comment, and share our podcast wherever you're listening or watching it to it. Pass it along to your friends. If you enjoy it, that means the people that you rock will will enjoy it also.
01:01:12
Speaker
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01:01:27
Speaker
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01:01:40
Speaker
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01:01:55
Speaker
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01:02:07
Speaker
Most importantly, want to say thank you. Thank you. Thank you for listening and watching and supporting us. And I'll catch you next time. Audi 5000. Peace.