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157. From Pain to Peace: Confronting Childhood Trauma and Healing
2 Playsin 1 day
Are you ready to heal from childhood trauma and embrace personal growth? In this powerful episode of the Spiritual Fitness Podcast, Eric Bigger takes us on a transformative journey during his visit to his hometown of Baltimore. He reflects on his experiences with family dynamics, mental and spiritual health, and how confronting his past led to healing. Join Eric as he shares insights on emotional wellness, vulnerability, and the path to spiritual rebirth through family connections and personal transformation.
In this episode:
- Healing often starts by facing past trauma and family dynamics.
- Moments like baptisms can spark personal transformation.
- Family interactions often reveal old patterns and emotional triggers.
- Growth comes from accepting vulnerability and healing emotionally.
- Reflecting on the past helps you let go of expectations and be your true self.
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Transcript
Introduction to Spiritual Fitness Podcast
00:00:05
Speaker
Welcome to the Spiritual Fitness Podcast. I'm your host, Eric Bigger. And each week, we will explore powerful practices, inspiring stories, and expert insights to guide you on your path to holistic health.
00:00:18
Speaker
By blending spirituality and physical wellness, we support you in strengthening your body and soul.
Unlocking Potential and Purpose
00:00:24
Speaker
Whether you're a seasoned spiritual seeker or just beginning your journey, the Spiritual Fitness Podcast is here to help you unlock your inner potential and live your most vibrant, purposeful life.
00:00:35
Speaker
It's miracle season.
00:00:40
Speaker
Spiritual fitness, spiritual fitness podcast. I'm your host, Eric Bigger. And today have a story to tell.
Eric's Healing Journey
00:00:48
Speaker
And today's episode is going to be dedicated to my healing journey and how a trip back to Baltimore around Easter weekend literally healed and changed my life and changed my life forever.
00:01:02
Speaker
My mom used always say, make sure you don't tell your story too soon, son. And I said, mom, when are you going to tell your story? ah Sometimes we go our whole life and we don't tell the stories.
00:01:13
Speaker
There's a book by Peter Gerber called Tell Your Story to Win. And I do believe stories move people, they heal people, and they help people get to the other side of themselves.
Gratitude and Invitations
00:01:24
Speaker
So today, before we get into the story, I want to say shout out to Simplify Impact, my podcast team, all my podcast episodes, my social media, my YouTube.
00:01:35
Speaker
So you can hear and feel the spiritual fitness vibration progress through your ears, through your television or wherever you watch this podcast.
00:01:46
Speaker
And thank you for all the people who have subscribed and downloaded. and share my episode. I would love your feedback. Reach out to me on YouTube, reach out to me on Instagram and let's connect. Also, if anyone out there looking for mentoring, one-on-one coaching, consulting, sign up for one-on-one intentions call and see if we're in alignment and I can help you be your best and most authentic self.
Miracle Season Merchandise
00:02:10
Speaker
Also, Miracle Season, go to itsmiracleseason.co and get you 50% off of your merch of anything you order using a Get your merch, get your discount and become a miracle in your life because every day it is your miracle season.
00:02:32
Speaker
So it is. All right. So let's get to the story.
Mental and Spiritual Health Talk
00:02:36
Speaker
I believe I got a call April 15th, which was a Tuesday. Shouts out to my alma mater, Hampton University, President Williams, Christian Walker, and everybody at the staff. And shots out to Ethan, Mr. Hampton, and everyone, Fred Scott, who hosted the event, everyone at the Hampton Man Initiative, everyone.
00:02:57
Speaker
So last Tuesday, got notified that there was Hampton Men's Initiative dinner for over 200, 300 men who will be dressed up in suits. And we'll be talking about topics of mental health, spiritual health, all the topics and challenges and changes that men deal with throughout the campus, throughout life.
00:03:17
Speaker
And Ken Williams wanted to fly me in for me to talk to the young men about mental health, spiritual health and just overall well-being. So, i you know, I answered the call and I say, hey, I'm willing to come in. i fly out Wednesday night on the red eye.
00:03:33
Speaker
I'll get in town early Thursday. The event starts at five and I'll be there. So Hampton, you know, Ken Williams flew me in and we had a great event during that time.
00:03:44
Speaker
Just a flight credit, you know, and I was like, you know what? Let me go home. Let me go home to Baltimore.
Family Reconnection and Personal Growth
00:03:49
Speaker
Let me see family. Let me visit family. Let me connect. I haven't been home since last June, which is June 2024. Here's 2025, almost a year.
00:03:58
Speaker
And I just been feeling the urge, like I need to go home. I want to go home. And I've healed so much in these last few months, a lot up from like my ancestry, lineage, you know, mother wound, all these things, right?
00:04:10
Speaker
But I really miss being home, being around my family, seeing my sisters, you know, my mom, uncle, my grandmother, my dad. It's everybody. i just want to go home. Sometimes I get a little homesick. So what I didn't know is that Sunday was Easter Sunday, April 20th.
00:04:26
Speaker
So how ironic. OK, cool. So I did the event at Hampton. We probably had over 250 men dressed up in suits. Fred Scott was, he was a Hamptonian graduated class of 83. He was the moderator. I had a few guys, but the main thing was for us to guide the young men that was at the dinner.
00:04:46
Speaker
about how to deal with depression, challenges and changes, being a man, becoming a man and tapping into their masculinity.
Supporting Young Men's Mental Health
00:04:53
Speaker
And I feel like this year with all my experience, all my challenges and changes I've grown through as a man, i can help more men, even young men, tapping more into their heart space for their emotional, mental and spiritual health.
00:05:07
Speaker
So it was a great conversation. We touched on a lot of subjects. I spoke about my healing journey from pain to progress, from pain to purpose and my journey of, you know, having public success, growing up and all these things that I've endured in my lifetime.
00:05:23
Speaker
So that was great. i was on such a high. i was so happy. The event, we probably closed out at like 9 p.m. that night, which was Thursday. And I had a flight out 11 a.m. that next morning, which was Friday. I got to Baltimore at 12.
00:05:37
Speaker
So my mom, you know, we had lunch. You know, we had a good time. had some sushi right there on the waterfront. And then the next day, I was able to see my aunt, my grandmother, Cora Bigger, who's 95.
00:05:51
Speaker
My other grandmother, Sheila Evans, who's 75. And I just saw everybody. spent time my dad. Like, it was really, really a great time.
Family Dynamics and Emotional Growth
00:06:00
Speaker
Sunday hits. And, you know, my sister had texted me. I think it was Saturday morning or Friday morning that she's getting baptized on Sunday.
00:06:09
Speaker
So I didn't know what my schedule was going to be like. I'm like, it's Easter. I really wasn't prepared for Easter. But i was like, I can show up to the baptism. Her and my nieces are getting baptized. So I went and it was everybody was there.
00:06:23
Speaker
And it was a bit emotional, I would say, for my own. It was bit emotional seeing my sister. You know, she's been through so much in life and so many challenges and so many changes and Our relationship hasn't been as close for a lot of reasons. I won't discuss, but, you know, I've been praying for her. I love her.
00:06:41
Speaker
You know, she's building out her family unit and she's just grown as a woman. And so I respect people's space and boundaries. And then, you my niece, which is her daughter, was also getting baptized. So to see them to go in that water to, you know, dump their bodies heads in that water and become reborn and resurrection.
00:07:02
Speaker
It was emotional, you know, I really felt a lot and I felt happy that they were stepping closer to the God they know and the God within and that they're in this new texture of life or wanting to become better. She wants to be a better mom or better woman and she wants better for her kid who was her oldest, which is Zoe.
00:07:18
Speaker
She's 13.
Realizations in Personal Growth and Relationships
00:07:19
Speaker
So the family came out, you know, I saw everyone there that I needed to see, had some great conversations, but also I realized that You know, going back to Baltimore, I'm just not the same person.
00:07:30
Speaker
I'm not the same Eric that they know. My f frequency is different. My vibration is different. I'm different because I've changed so much. have newfound love in my life. hass almost been a year. i built my girlfriend.
00:07:42
Speaker
I healed from a lot of trauma and pain from my childhood. And I'm just different. Right. And it's great. And I realized some of the conversations we were having. were very not only triggering but really didn't serve a higher purpose for anyone some of it was I feel like a distraction but also revealing and you know now that I'm more aware more open I can see the trauma in my family like energetically I can see the trauma within my family unit within within my family in general you know it hurts and I was really sad I
00:08:17
Speaker
I talked to my uncle and he's like, man, you seem like you got a lot on your mind and you get something off your chest. And I was like, yeah, I said, I'm just tired. It's been a long month. April's been busy. It's been good, but I'm just tired. And I was. It was jet lag, you know, Baltimore three hours ahead of LA.
00:08:33
Speaker
I was speaking, you know, I'm just traveling and moving through life, but also walking into the energy of family. It wasn't that it was heavy. I just think old wounds came up that I didn't know was still there.
00:08:45
Speaker
so And this is why I try to tell people healing is so important, right? So important to know your lineage, where you come from, your mom, your dad, even before them, how they think and how they operate.
00:09:00
Speaker
What came up for me, what I realized, what I wanted to say was that the body keeps the score. So sometimes when we're in a certain environment, whatever that environment is for our body,
00:09:11
Speaker
If it's an old environment because I'm a new person, those old emotions will come up like my inner child, the younger Eric. So when I thought about it, I was like, wow, the younger me is coming up. And I felt my time there because I went to see everybody. I was East Baltimore, West Baltimore, Baltimore County, driving around trying to see everybody and make my rounds because, you know, I miss relatives and, you know, my aunt, you know, also my Sandra and my grandma. I just saw everybody.
00:09:39
Speaker
And it was a lot. It took a toll on me. But I think unconsciously I dropped back into that little boy who was sad as a kid. And all he wanted was love from his family. And I felt myself in that pattern and of exchange of giving, giving, you know, showing up, seeing people, giving money.
00:09:57
Speaker
and I'm like, am I buying love? And, you know, because I felt the need if I feel like I can give money, I will give it. But I was like, am I giving it from a real place or am giving it from a place because I want love?
Embracing Inner Child and Transformation
00:10:07
Speaker
So what I discovered was the old energy popped back up in my consciousness and my body.
00:10:13
Speaker
I dropped back into like my younger self and I was doing all these things, which were great. I had great experiences with everybody. But when I was burnt out, I was like, I'm burnt out because I'm given from a place of I want love.
00:10:25
Speaker
So let me take care everybody. But then nobody was taking care of me and they wasn't aware it. There's nothing they didn't do. There's nothing they did do. This is all my program, all my healing taking place. So, you know, processed that.
00:10:38
Speaker
And then ah Monday morning I woke up and I realized, oh, I did all that because I wanted love from my family.
00:10:49
Speaker
And that was the younger me, the younger Eric child, the kid who wanted love his whole life. And my spirit told me like, it's over with. It's time.
00:11:00
Speaker
This is the death and the rebirth of your younger self. And you going into your newer, most authentic, higher self, older self. And that love, you don't have to look for that anymore.
00:11:11
Speaker
You don't have to expect that. You don't have to anticipate that. You can release it and bless it. And I also feel like it was a bit of grief, right? Because it was it felt bad. Like I got to leave this version of myself here. Resurrection, right? Easter Sunday.
00:11:25
Speaker
And it was transformational because, you know, I had a real deep conversation, the heart to heart with my cousin. he was just like, just tearing up. He's like, man, you just seem so sad, man. I see the little boy in you.
00:11:36
Speaker
And I was like, yeah, man, I mean, I think I deserve to be sad. I mean, this is how I feel. i don't want to run from my sadness or act as if I am that I'm not. And because in the past I would. I'm like, no, I'm fine. I'm cool. I'm right.
00:11:48
Speaker
But I needed to feel that grief of the younger boy in me is like I can no longer be loved from him no more. And that that's past due. And a lot of it has to do with the frequency I'm in and the evolution of my soul and the things I've moved through and awakened in my being.
00:12:07
Speaker
And like, you know, sometimes you go above and beyond what anybody thinks in a family and they can't love you because they don't even know this version of you the way they do. They just know that you're Eric and we love you and we see you, but maybe not the way you want us to see you. And that's OK.
00:12:24
Speaker
So I say all to say, people, is that sometimes we got to let go of old pasts. Old ways of thinking, old expectations and old paradigms. So that paradigm of younger Eric, the little Eric had to die.
00:12:38
Speaker
The new me had to form and transform into this higher version. And not that I'm not going to love them the same. I'm not going to be there for them. But I feel like I was holding energy for my family to get something in return.
00:12:51
Speaker
I feel like I kept it tucked like deep in my soul and was just ready to receive it when I can get it. And so I was like, it's OK, it's all right. And you can move on and you
Letting Go and Embracing Evolution
00:13:03
Speaker
can progress ahead. So it was such a beautiful weekend.
00:13:06
Speaker
A lot of transpired I'm a new version speaking here today. And I'm so thankful for that journey. I'm so thankful for that sadness. I'm so thankful for that grief. I'm so thankful for the trauma I had to grow through and heal through to be here today to speak on you. So if you're growing through something or going through something, it's never there for no reason.
00:13:24
Speaker
It's there to make you better, to improve. And sometimes you just outgrow family members, outgrow people, outgrow situations, outgrow in a certain ways of thinking and being and it's okay.
00:13:37
Speaker
So my message to anyone out there that has family matters that might be tough or uncomfortable, kind of sit with it, reflect, be intimate with it.
00:13:49
Speaker
Don't push it away. Don't suppress it. It's something that's forming in you that wants to come out. And sometimes it's heavy and sometimes it's sad and sometimes it's overwhelming. And sometimes it might not be what you want, but it's everything you need.
00:14:02
Speaker
And I didn't anticipate to have that feeling when I went home or that moment, but it felt good to move through that and be on the other side of that, speaking to you today in this episode.
00:14:14
Speaker
So that's all. That's it. i just wanted to share my truth. want to be a little bit vulnerable here on a podcast and share this personal story. Because I don't want people to ever think that I don't grow through anything or go through anything. I'm constantly healing, constantly evolving so I can be the best version, not only for myself, but for the world I serve and for you and for the people who tap into my energy.
Call for Engagement and Connection
00:14:36
Speaker
And I just want to be great, better than I was before. I want to evolve and I want to continue to heal I want to focus. So no more distractions for me with family or things that I thought I needed.
00:14:48
Speaker
in that realm and it's all love. It's miracle season guys. Thank you for listening to this episode. Share, subscribe, like spiritual fitness podcast. Tell a friend to tell a friend and build with me.
00:15:01
Speaker
Comment on this episode, DM me on social media and I'm sending you all love and gratitude. So it is. I'm out. Peace.
00:15:12
Speaker
Thank you for joining us on the Spiritual Fitness Podcast. We hope today's episode has inspired you and provided valuable insights for your holistic health journey. By blended spirituality and physical wellness, you can strengthen your body, mind, and soul.
00:15:27
Speaker
If you enjoyed today's episode, please subscribe, rate, and leave a review. Until next time, stay strong, stay inspired, and remember, it's miracle season.