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181. How Aleksei Archer Found Strength After Losing Her Father to Suicide
27 Plays12 hours ago
Have you ever lost someone and wondered how to find strength again?
In this episode of The Spiritual Fitness Podcast, Eric Bigger sits down with Aleksei Archer, co-host of Two Girls, One Grief, to talk about her powerful grief journey after losing her father to suicide. Aleksei opens up about transforming pain into purpose, embracing mental health awareness, and finding healing through therapy, support groups, and community.
This conversation is a reminder that no matter how deep the grief, healing and meaning are possible.
Key Takeaways
- Turning Pain Into Purpose: How Aleksei’s loss led her to advocate for suicide prevention and mental health awareness.
- The Power of Support: Why group therapy and open conversation are vital in processing grief.
- Healing in Community: How Aleksei’s work with Mourning Glory Club creates space for connection and shared healing.
- Finding Light After Loss: Aleksei’s honest reflections on embracing her emotions and rediscovering purpose through her podcast Two Girls, One Grief.
Connect with Aleksei:
2 Girls 1 Grief Podcast: https://www.2girls1grief.com/about
Personal Website: https://alekseiarcher.com/philanthropist
Website: https://www.mourningglory.com/facilitators
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alekseiarcher?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==
Shop IYLA: https://iylia.com/
Use promo code EB20 for IYLIA champagne, offering 20% off on orders up to $200
Check out Miracle Season’s collection: https://itsmiracleseason.co/collections/frontpage
Work with me: https://www.ericbigger.com/workwithme?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=work_with_m...
Connect with Simplified Impact: https://hubs.ly/Q02vvMJ90
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Transcript
Introduction to Spiritual Fitness Podcast
00:00:05
Speaker
Welcome to the Spiritual Fitness Podcast. I'm your host, Eric Bigger. And each week, we will explore powerful practices, inspiring stories, and expert insights to guide you on your path to holistic health.
00:00:18
Speaker
By blending spirituality and physical wellness, we support you in strengthening your body and soul. Whether you're a seasoned spiritual seeker or just beginning your journey, the Spiritual Fitness Podcast is here to help you unlock your inner potential and live your most vibrant, purposeful life.
00:00:35
Speaker
It's miracle season.
00:00:39
Speaker
Spiritual Fitness, Spiritual Fitness Podcast.
Meet Alessi Archer: Advocate and Host
00:00:42
Speaker
I'm your host, Eric Bigger, and I'm back again with another episode, and I got the phenomenal Alessi Archer. Hope I said her name right.
00:00:51
Speaker
She's a superstar, but more importantly, she's a podcast host of Two Girls, One Grief. She's an actress, and she's an advocate for suicide prevention, mental health, and all things to dealing with loss and grief.
00:01:05
Speaker
Alexia, welcome to Spiritual Fitness. How are you? Thanks, Eric. It's so good to be here. Good to see you. yeah So I was looking at your bio before getting on and I was pretty intrigued by like some of the stuff you coined. I think one of your quotes was I'm dedicated to becoming a face and voice of suicide loss, awareness and entertainment space.
00:01:25
Speaker
But before we get into grief and loss and suicide, what was your life like before April
Alessi's Manhattan Upbringing
00:01:32
Speaker
2017? two thousand seventeen Like who was you as a child? How did you grow up?
00:01:36
Speaker
What was my feeling? I was born and raised in Manhattan in New York City to two immigrant parents. My mother was born in Trinidad. My father was born in Northern Ireland, though he grew up partially in England.
00:01:50
Speaker
sad ah Then I moved to L.A. I always knew that I wanted to be an actress and... I'm more of a daytime person than a nighttime person. very blessed. I went to private school in New York City and that was a really fun and amazing experience.
00:02:09
Speaker
But yeah, we really grew up at a time when you could just go and take the, like I hear the kids these days don't take the subways by themselves, but we were definitely taking the subways alone.
00:02:20
Speaker
Y'all was living life out loud on y'all terms. So basically you're saying growing up, you know, your parents were immigrants that came to the States. They exceeded, excelled, and you had a pretty decent upbringing. And your mom and dad were married together most of their life or- My parents met and fell in love. My older brother was five at the time and um my mother had him from a ah previous relationship.
00:02:48
Speaker
yeah And so my father, a white man, basically adopted my older brother and raised him as his own. And then a few years later, they had me.
00:02:58
Speaker
e and I have a younger brother also by the same parents. And so we lived in an apartment on the Upper West side ah which is still the family home. um It's been there forever. And yeah, like I feel like even at that time, being an interracial couple was very edgy and very different.
00:03:18
Speaker
um But they really, really, they really cared for each other. They had a very beautiful relationship. Yeah, that's beautiful. i always tell people, Your blueprint of your upbringing gives you insight into what you believe, think, or what really is your perspective on love, relating, relationships, and just life in general. Like, you know, you went to private school, you grew up in Manhattan, your mom and dad were in love, you had two siblings, two brothers, you know, and life was what it was and you lived your life.
00:03:47
Speaker
Now, growing up, who did you have a closer relationship with, your mom or
A Father's Influence on Artistic Pursuits
00:03:51
Speaker
your dad? I was always closer to my dad. i was like your archetypal daddy's girl. I was dad all day.
00:04:00
Speaker
And yeah, like he was my best friend. Yeah. and And I think, ah you know, as I evolve and continue to become into who I am, I didn't know how important, for one, a man's present is in a woman's life to not that a dad.
00:04:16
Speaker
And, you know, I know several women who didn't really have that in their life the way they could have or didn't didn't experience that. So they don't have that perspective.
00:04:28
Speaker
But far as your safety growing up as a young girl and a young lady going into high school, having your dad, how did you feel about life? What did that do for your confidence? How did you feel about your acting career and just being yourself? Like, did that amplify your experience? Did you have more just faith in everything you were doing because of the presence of your dad?
00:04:48
Speaker
Absolutely. and but Without a shadow of a doubt, my dad was always my biggest cheerleader. He really supported me in being an artist. I went to liberal arts school, so I was exposed to a lot of art. And so i was singing. I studied at the Manhattan School Music from when I was 12. So I was training to be an opera singer.
00:05:09
Speaker
And he came to all of my concerts. He was always sitting front row. And yeah, I couldn't even really imagine life without having had such a ride or die dad.
00:05:20
Speaker
I love that because i see that with my siblings, with my sisters, I have three sisters and just all the women in my life, my clients, just people I meet, how important it is to hold space for women, to feel place of safety.
00:05:33
Speaker
to be someone they look look forward to or look up to in place of need or whatever it could be. One of the things that, like, i just always think of when I think of him is he read me bedtime stories, like, every single day. wow Yeah. So we got to spend quality time together, and I also got an education.
00:05:52
Speaker
so And it's beautiful to to have that because that's why you're probably so good at speaking on camera, you know, acting, a podcast host, an advocate for whatever you choose. Now, in your journey, what was like your most challenging time in L.A.?
Career Challenges in L.A.
00:06:08
Speaker
Well, since the pandemic and the writer's strike, it's just really changed the energy of, like, the whole town. Like, things are just not as busy. People aren't, like, moving about. Like, there's not as many, like, productions. Usually you couldn't, like, you know, drive, you go on a single ride without seeing something that was, like, in production here. so You know, I think the general energy for block artists from behind the camera to in front of the camera, it's really shifted a lot here. And it's such a different place now. than i Maybe it's that way everywhere, but it's such a different place now than it was before. That being said...
00:06:47
Speaker
I am working still and have worked despite the pandemic. yeah ah And so to compare that time to like before I really sort of got my start would be hard to do because that was so long ago.
00:06:59
Speaker
But in terms of like being on the ride, like being on the train, being a working actress with a resume and things kind of being this like weird environment, I would definitely have to say like in the last five years.
00:07:13
Speaker
It's so important for us to know who we are in these moments because I do believe, to you agreeance, that since the pandemic, LA is different. And at the top of this year, we had the fires. So I feel like we're having to go with death and rebirth, and it's going through a spiritual awakening, and you can feel the heaviness or the gray cloud.
00:07:33
Speaker
Now, talking about two girls, one grief, talking about April 2017, because I did say that prior. I want to get a little bit into that
Coping with Father's Suicide
00:07:43
Speaker
story. Let me know if you can or you can't, because, you know, I'm.
00:07:48
Speaker
I want to know the month prior to April 2017, can you kind of take this down? What your life was like? What were you actually doing? What show were you on? Were you dating? Were you in love? Like, what's the serpendipity? Like what, what was happening in your life of all? Like what was your relationship like with your parents?
00:08:05
Speaker
What was happening? Yeah. at the beginning of 2017, was doing this show called CBS Diversity Showcase, which is like their premier sketch comedy showcase in the country.
00:08:17
Speaker
They get the best of the best sketch comedians around the country and they have us live in a basement in seat at CBS. And we put up 1500 sketches that were all written um by this ah team of writers and the sketch comedians.
00:08:33
Speaker
And out of that 1,500 performances, we get whittled down to 20 shows. And so was really exciting. I had tested the previous year for MADtv, and then there was complications with the MADtv show, so I was referred to CBS.
00:08:50
Speaker
And when I went to CBS, I was a little like, this kind feels like a step backwards. But it actually ended up being a really great opportunity. I made some of the closest friends that I still have to this day.
00:09:01
Speaker
And being in the showcase really put me on the map because all of the other networks come to the show, um management teams, agents, all of that stuff. And so that was that show went up in January.
00:09:16
Speaker
in March, I got the biggest sitcom that I had ever gotten on a show called ah The Great Endorse starring John McHale. Wow. And I played it.
00:09:27
Speaker
Chris Mintz-Plasse's nerdy girlfriend. He's McLovin from Superbad. And so we had like the most amazing chemistry. We were this really nerdy couple that was, you know, he was my on-camera boyfriend. So yes, I was in love with that. And we ah we were told that they wanted me to stay on for season two and for it to not just be the B story, but for it to be the A story.
00:09:52
Speaker
And so here we are in March. At the beginning of April, my dad had an accident and he was brought to the hospital and he was being kind of like silly about of it My dad was a very like English humor, kind of stiff upper lip, tough guy, but like silly.
00:10:12
Speaker
yeah And he was like kind of like, yeah, i had this accident. I'm always getting into accidents and didn't really want to get into like the details of like what the accident was. And I was just like, all right, like fine.
00:10:24
Speaker
You don't want to like talk about it. You know, it wasn't like atypical of him to not do something like that. You know what I mean? So he says that yeah it ends up coming out that he was attacked.
00:10:35
Speaker
My cousin, who's about to have her second child, is like fully pregnant. And she wants me to be her comedic doula. When she had her first baby, I was there too.
00:10:46
Speaker
And so I'd go when she's like in labor and I'd tell her jokes because, I mean, that's what you want when you're giving birth to a baby, right? Yeah. me telling you jokes so I call my dad and I'm like hey I know oh you've had this accident I really want to see you I miss you um I want to come to New York in five weeks so I can see you and I can be there with Nico when she's like gonna have the baby and he's like perfect and he's like on the computer and he's like typing super fast and like within like five seconds he had like booked the ticket and I was like cool right and he was like all right and he kind of like rushed me off the phone which also wasn't that odd yeah
00:11:22
Speaker
Um, so two weeks later, i talked to him. e he, I had been having a disagreement with a girlfriend. My dad was like my mentor and like literally gave me advice about literally everything, even a little debacle that I was having with a girlfriend. He was like, she was helping me with managing my books. And he's like, you know, it's really hard to find those kind of people. So you should just keep her on.
00:11:47
Speaker
And he told me that he loved me. and then, um, The next morning I woke up to 15 missed calls from my mom. And ah yeah, he had taken in his life.
00:12:00
Speaker
So in that moment where you, of course she was shocked, but what was coming? What was the feeling in your body that is this real? Is this, what was happening within yourself?
00:12:14
Speaker
You know, it was weird. And i think that, and I've heard this a lot from other suicide law survivors of feeling like there was a little part of you that maybe thought that maybe that was a thing.
00:12:28
Speaker
And then kind of like... when you see that many missed calls and you instantly know something bad has happened. But I was right here in this exact room and I ran back and forth like 15 times saying no, no, no, no. no And, yeah you know, the feeling was kind of this like mixed feeling of like,
00:12:46
Speaker
oh, I should have gone home sooner. What could I have done? where do I go? What am I doing right this second? and And but then in my case, it was like constant movement.
00:12:58
Speaker
I booked a flight. I got to New York that day. Like I was just like on the move. Probably like the next couple of months, to be honest with you, it didn't really sort of stop. Like it was just one thing after another thing after another thing. And I got home to New York that night.
00:13:15
Speaker
My mom, I mean, she was just beside herself um and still is at times. And I laid with her my um, and their bed and like laid in my dad's spot in the bed and I could smell him on the pillow. And I was just like, what is now?
00:13:38
Speaker
now Yeah. And it's been ah constant discovery since then. um Things will never be the same as they were.
00:13:48
Speaker
And, um you know, I've I know we'll get into more of this, but I've I have fought rigorously to try to find the gift in this.
00:14:01
Speaker
Yeah. Share that with other people. Your dad is your dad and we can't return him. But I do know as we speak, he's present. Right. And I was when you were talking about him earlier before we got into the details of this, you've smiled and I feel I felt his energy as if he's in this interview.
00:14:19
Speaker
Why'd you say he came to all your dance recitals? He's here. I do know that. And so you can still have that connection, even though you don't have that physical relation of him being present.
00:14:32
Speaker
But I want to talk about how you took your pain and you turned it into power and how you create you created a morning glory and you two girls, one grief.
Healing Through Therapy and Community
00:14:43
Speaker
Before we get into that, what was your process you deal with the loss in those days or in those months or in those weeks and i'm probably you probably still in your process but what did you do to get yourself back to your center was it just therapy was it prayer was it working out like what was how did you keep your spirit fit in those dark or different days what was your actions or what did you do Well, you know, in the very beginning, it was very like I was just trying to figure out, you know, like paperwork and and like trying to keep it all together because i felt like I needed to like hold space for my mom. And I needed to like, you know, I was really kind of like very like buttoned up and just trying to like take things off of a list.
00:15:37
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. And I didn't have any process. I wasn't in any process for quite some time. um I fell into what I like to refer to as unhealthy healing modalities, which I feel like are in some ways as relevant as the healthy ones sometimes because people just don't have an awareness that they are doing things like I was like partying and clubbing, like just like get out of the house. I was like clubbing my dog because I didn't have anybody to really take care of her. And I was like in the city and I was really, you know, i felt this need to want to get like held and cuddled.
00:16:16
Speaker
but like I didn't know that that's what it was. And I feel like having self-awareness is so important, especially when we're going through these like deeply, deeply,
00:16:27
Speaker
um internal grieving moments. um So I kind of just stumbled along for quite some time. And then i felt like I was kind of running out of safe spaces. And I also realized that some of the safe spaces, some of the people that I thought that I could have gone to to um get support for the this, like either they started to get exhausted or they weren't necessarily the right places for me to go.
00:16:55
Speaker
and Understanding and knowing who is right for what is important. And sometimes discovering and creating new spaces it is totally valid. So interestingly enough that we met at a D.D. Hirsch event two and a half years after my dad's suicide, I'm driving down Olympic Boulevard and I see their location over on Olympic that says Suicide Prevention Center and it's letters.
00:17:23
Speaker
And I had never seen that building before. um And I was like, hmm, I'm going to call them. yeah So I did. And they connected me with the bereavement sector.
00:17:36
Speaker
didn't even know that I was bereaved. and by Yeah, what does that mean? Bereaved means you're grieving. Like you are me ok ok you are a bereaved person. and And this is silly, but they were so helpful I couldn't bereave it.
00:17:53
Speaker
So I i was um put in contact with Rick, who Rick Mogul, who runs it there, and They did a diagnostic on me and they said, well, you can join our um our group that meets on a weekly basis.
00:18:05
Speaker
And they gave me a list of therapists. And so I started seeing this therapist who was doing um EMDR and talk therapy with me and really starting to uncover some of the things that I was like holding on to, like that, you know, I could have done more. And if I had just gone there and like looked in his eyes, then maybe I would have known and been able to prevent it and It's pretty archetypal to want to play God in those types of situations, but it was also something that I absolutely needed to let go of.
00:18:35
Speaker
and And so that's when that process sort of started. And then i will never forget my first group meeting. i yeah brought a blankie and took my shoes off.
00:18:49
Speaker
And I got really cozy because those rooms can be a little bit cold. Yeah. and sat around hearing a suicide loss survivors tell their authentic stories. And I know that for like my first bunch of groups, I just like totally just sat there and cried because hearing other people say they've been going through this experience and seeing what an epidemic it was, was just like a total shell shock, you know?
00:19:15
Speaker
But in that very first group meeting, i met Audra Malosh, who lost her mother to suicide the same year I lost my dad. And she spoke so eloquently about her mother, Debbie's passing. And I was just like, oh, my God. Number one, who is this girl? Number two, how did she get to be so good at talking about this? Yeah. Like, I always, you know, thought of myself as being someone who could speak eloquently about anything. But like, i literally knew nothing.
00:19:41
Speaker
um So um I went up to her after the group and I asked her if she wanted to be my friend. And she told me about another group that she was a part of called Solace that was here in Venice. And then I joined the eight week program at DD Her. So I was going to three groups and therapy. Oh, so you was doing the work.
00:19:58
Speaker
All of it. All of it. We got to give you shout out to the dad because he made sure you stayed in class to be the best entertainer and actress in everything you are today.
00:20:09
Speaker
But I just want to stop there because I think I can't say it's easy to do the work in those spaces, but you've done the work. And I want to acknowledge that and give your flowers around that because it helped you help others work.
00:20:22
Speaker
And to speak in this point, and I wanted to ask because I want you to continue this story. But recently, I shared two stories, and it's is' devastating. um I had someone that I used to work with 10 years ago when I first moved to L.A.
00:20:37
Speaker
He got into a situation where he was dating someone i was 10 years old. I believe he fell in love and heart was broken or whatever. The girl got a restraining order on him, whatever. And so he was something was going on emotionally.
00:20:50
Speaker
Make a long story short, this past weekend, I found out that he fouled her, um did what he did, and did the same thing to himself. And he's not been with us, right?
00:21:03
Speaker
So I want to Right? So that's the type of energy that comes through my life. And then on top of that, I know somebody recently who just... you know, they're on medication. um And the thoughts that come through their mind and the things they feel. also dated someone years ago who was medic was medicated as well, right? and And they told me that it made it worse in their mind about them wanting to be here on earth.
00:21:30
Speaker
And I think enough people don't talk about it because of the stigma, because of the fear. And I don't want to be, I don't want to hush up about something that's so real in our life and we just keep it under the rug. Because people out here suffering in silence where we have information that can turn into awareness, that can become wisdom, that can help someone else.
00:21:47
Speaker
But I feel that quote you said, I'm dedicated to becoming a face and voice of suicide loss awareness in the industry. I feel like you have the power to seek. The confidence, the competence in the bandwidth, in the experience to speak not only on it, but speak to those who might not be feeling safe in their mind, who not i'd be feeling safe in their body.
00:22:09
Speaker
And a lot of times it might not just be them. It could be the medication. It could be the things that's going on in the world. It can be Ancestry. it could be so many things. So I don't want to put that heaviness on others. But to your knowledge, what would you say if anybody right now is listening and they might even have the thoughts or they've been thinking about it or they know someone, what could, what advice or what could you say?
00:22:31
Speaker
Because you did the work, you did the eight week program and now you're here speaking about your experiences, but I feel like your voice is powerful and I do think your soul could give some type of energy to that space for people who will not, might not be feeling there the greatest.
00:22:47
Speaker
To anybody who is struggling, just remember that you are loved. You are so, so, so, so loved. And, you know, the shame around having suicidal ideation, i really, i wholeheartedly disagree with it because, listen, suicidal ideation is normal.
00:23:08
Speaker
ah Say that. suicidal ideation is normal. In fact, a lot less people that have never had it before than most people. that So i I say that to say not because like I'm encouraging it, it's just what it is.
00:23:23
Speaker
And that like you don't have to feel shame about having those thoughts. What I do want for somebody who is, you know, thinking dark thoughts that and this I'm taking this from Kevin Hines. He said this on my podcast um that's coming out on ah Thursday.
00:23:41
Speaker
He says, say these four words. I need help now to the closest person that will listen to you. There it is. Because shame creates fear.
00:23:54
Speaker
Fear can create silence and silence can be deadly. yeah So don't be silent. Don't be silent. I need help now.
00:24:05
Speaker
See, that's a tagline. That's so true. Because there's so many things that's happening in our world and and people are carrying things that we don't even know. Even the people that's on stage, like me and you, like how we're visible doesn't mean you don't carry the shame or the guilt. I want to tell people who are feeling shameful,
00:24:23
Speaker
me tell you guys. And I forgot this part of the story. The weekend, the two weekends, this is a this is a reason why I didn't go home right away. Because two weekends before my dad took his life, I was at Coachella.
00:24:35
Speaker
Mm hmm. And the weekend after that, I was in Las Vegas having a great time partying with my friends. And like, if anybody could feel a ton of shame and embarrassment about not showing up for her parent that was in a mysterious accident, it could have been me.
00:24:55
Speaker
No, no, no, no, no. We're not. We're not. living Yeah. No, because you only know what you know in that moment. I didn't know enough.
00:25:06
Speaker
And of course, I could look back on that time and be like, oh what was I doing? I could have saved. I could have a million things. So I see that to say, and I've done lots of other shameful things, too. But like, forgive, forgive, forgive yourself.
00:25:21
Speaker
Forgive yourself, please. The love of God, forgive yourself. Give yourself and if forgiveness is so true and powerful. So you was telling prior to this process that we were going down that you met the host of your podcast, two girls, one grief.
00:25:39
Speaker
um And you guys connected and she spoke so well about her loss and you guys became friends. You started to do the work and to empower yourself to get back to where you need to be.
Creating a Podcast on Suicide Loss
00:25:50
Speaker
What was the initiation of the podcast to like, this is what we should do. And it's time. Like, how did y'all get into that space? So that was six years ago.
00:26:00
Speaker
Yes. So it's been like in the making for, you know, forever. So after was in a bunch of different groups, I had and I had this sort of like hit like, oh, my God.
00:26:12
Speaker
ah we need a face and voice of suicide loss because what I was finding in those group meetings was that there was so much shame and stigma and stigma. We really like to call more like prejudice against like mental disease.
00:26:24
Speaker
And also like for suicide loss survivors, like, oh, if you tell somebody that like your parent killed themselves, like what are they going to think about you? Or if, you know, if your kid does or if your pain partner, like there's, you know, a lot of like kind of weird blame and weird things that people say that I don't even know if they mean that, but yeah they're just not educated.
00:26:42
Speaker
And so you have to have like this incredible armor to be a suicide loss survivor and to be able to like speak publicly about it. And I thought I was the person for the job. I need to educate myself about this conversation so that like I can speak about it eloquently like like my friend Audra.
00:26:57
Speaker
And i also felt like, oh, my God, we need to make a documentary about the benefits of group therapy for suicide loss survivors because they're going to find how amazing it is. Yeah.
00:27:08
Speaker
Um, so I got all my favorite survivors together, everybody who was willing to go on camera. And I hosted a birthday party for my dad at 2020 of January.
00:27:19
Speaker
And i put together all of these like community games and I just saw everybody like really come together in a new way. And I was like, all right, like this is it. Like this is the show. So I put together a made for TV group. I got um a mental health professional, Andrew Landy, who's still my right hand. We still um and we were co-facilitating these group meetings together and filming them.
00:27:42
Speaker
And then COVID lockdown happened. and And I was like, well, we have this like made for TV group. And then I realized, oh, my God, like they're real people in a real group.
00:27:55
Speaker
And now what? So we transferred over to Zoom. and it's been going ever since. so Congratulations. Thanks. I know. It's like it's wild.
00:28:07
Speaker
And it's like amazing. um Now Dr. Marlon Rollins. Marlon. Yeah. Yeah, the three of us facilitate a group together. It is has to be the best group for suicide law survivors in the world.
00:28:20
Speaker
I mean, we've got amazing professionals. We've got advanced grievers and a really amazingly kind of loose environment where people really feel like they can be their authentic shit selves. So fast forward to, I think...
00:28:35
Speaker
It was probably like last summer or something like that. Audra and I, we we both live in Venice. um We both like to party. We were going out to like bars and stuff. And people would always ask us, oh my God, how did you guys meet?
00:28:47
Speaker
And then Audra always give me an awkward look like, oh God, what's Alexa going to say? I find this really like interesting and kind of fun ways to like share the information and like create an environment where we tell them that our parents killed themselves.
00:29:02
Speaker
I mean, one of the things that we had silly things we ended up coming up with was that our parents introduced us And then that would lead us into these other conversations. And then people would always end up telling us about a loss that they've had. And then it would always be like a deep, amazing conversation, like way above your average like bar conversation. And we were like, we might have like a little bit of a show here. Like we should do a podcast.
00:29:26
Speaker
So fast forward to this summer, had a dinner with somebody who had a membership with a podcast student. He was like, I have all of these free hours and I'm not using, I'm not a podcaster.
00:29:39
Speaker
Would you like to use? And I was like, yep. Yep. Let's do it. I feel like you were chosen. You know, unfortunately, you know, there was loss involved, but there's going to be a purpose served and more people heal and people can reveal what they're really feeling. I think sometimes when we get so caught up in the shadow version of pain, right, which is, would like always say the ego is, you know, how because in some countries when people pass away, to get into this, they don't mourn,
00:30:09
Speaker
Right. They glorify someone leaving Earth, right? Because they know they're in a better space. Now, the context to it is different. But I think what you're doing is you're celebrating and shining light on darkness that people try to keep dark.
00:30:26
Speaker
So people don't ever talk about it. And as and i I love that you're doing that. I love what you guys are doing on the podcast. Yeah. And I'm just happy to know that there's someone out here that's willing to be the voice in the face.
00:30:38
Speaker
And you you've taken action. You've been doing it for six years and you've been doing the work. So you're are a leader in a space that other women can come up to or people in general to talk about their story, not be judged because of the space you hold.
00:30:51
Speaker
So congratulations on that. But last but not least, can you give more, ah talk about your morning glory?
Morning Glory Club Initiative
00:30:58
Speaker
What is that all about? I like that name. I was like, oh, that's that's interesting.
00:31:02
Speaker
Thanks. Yeah. So it's Morning Glory Club spelled M-O-U-R-N. It was my inspiration was the Morning Glory flower, which grows all over my town of a speech. Yeah. And a lot of the species of Morning Glory flowers cheerfully blossom in the morning and die in one day, representing the unrequited love of the person we've lost too soon.
00:31:22
Speaker
Whereas the foliage and the vines take over entire buildings, oh representing the community left behind to rebuild and grow together. So I loved, you know, I kind of put the pieces together. I was like, oh, this is the perfect symbolism for um for my charity.
00:31:40
Speaker
And so we um we do group therapy. Like I said, Dr. Marlon and Andrew Landy, who are both mental health professionals, um are alongside me. We're also doing one on one coaching coaching.
00:31:53
Speaker
Really taking all of the information. that Dr. Marlon is also a suicide loss survivor as well. And our special connection is his sister, Amber Rose, who died by suicide. She and I look very similar and act very similar to each other. So it's like he has little sister again. And so we've been working together also. And, um you know, I have found that being able to be with suicide loss survivors who have done the work because it's so specific, this type of grief. Yeah.
00:32:28
Speaker
You can stumble along for many, many years and a lot of therapists will probably try to lead you down that pathway. But there's something to be said about lived experience. um I just am having somebody who's graduating from their six month program. And he told me over the weekend at another walk that we went to the AFSP one.
00:32:46
Speaker
He's like, in the five years that I did therapy, I learned more from you in six months. And I was like, See I'm saying? I need help now. Come to your page. Come to your podcast. ah and i said That's what suicide prevention needs. We need to make it so that people want to talk about it. People want to watch about it. And that's what's happening. And it's so exciting to see the world changing, but ah us changing the conversation, the world responding to it positively. It's beautiful. You're bringing light to darkness. I think on your website you have sadgirlshappyendings.com.
00:33:20
Speaker
And what's really exciting, too, because they say technically, like, more women go towards, like, grieving and groups and stuff like that um than men do. But I actually have more men in the Maureen Glory group than I do women. Yeah. I think...
00:33:35
Speaker
part of that might be because like there's a part of me that would have wanted to want my father to want to live and so being able to like give that back to my community is maybe some sort of like also healing for me um but for our um followers and our fans and our viewers um and we are 50 on two girls one grief we are 50 50 male to female so like that's amazing yeah yeah It's really exciting to see the boys jumping on too. and the like We need it. As I told you about that incident, like I feel like in a collective, a lot of men are struggling emotionally. They don't know what to do with their emotions.
00:34:10
Speaker
And so they're pouring it out in the world in unhealthy ways that's causing chaos and devastation in some places, unfortunately. So that's why I want to continue to be who I am, to allow men to feel safe, to be however they are, so they can get some healing, some help, and we can come together and change the world in a positive way. And so when you have a purpose, I feel like you're chosen. And when you're chosen, you have no choice. And I feel like it's always been our choice to be on stage for the greater good of the world, not just ourselves.
00:34:37
Speaker
So thank you for your time today. By way, where can we find you? How can people get into your world, and into your vortex? They can follow me at Alexi Archer. It's A-L-E-K-S-E-I Archer. I'm actually super easy to find. um I'm most active on um Instagram, but I'm also on TikTok and probably other places too that I'm not linked in. Wow.
00:34:59
Speaker
um morning glory club spelled m-o-u-r-n it's morningglory.com we do um dr marlin and i have a monthly that we're starting next month a monthly webinar where we'll we'll be giving amazing information around grief and suicide loss so please tune in for that and you can um rsvp to our website at morningglory.com and there's um and there's um Two Girls, One Grief, it's spelled with the two and the one, the numbers.
00:35:27
Speaker
And so um there's twogirlsonegrief.com, twogirlsonegrief on Instagram, and of course on YouTube where our full episodes are. I got two questions. So the first one is, what is spiritual fitness to you? And what is one thing you want to leave with everybody today as we move forward?
00:35:44
Speaker
What spiritual fitness, think, ultimately is figuring out what your divine tools are, putting tools in your toolbox and being able to call on them. And I think putting those tools in your toolbox, it's important to do that when you're feeling good.
00:36:02
Speaker
You know, like the journaling and the meditating and the reading of books or watching enlightening videos and the people that you know to call on when you're, you know, that are going to give you positive energy and really cultivating that, especially when you're feeling good so that when you're feeling down, you know which tools to pull out of your toolbox.
00:36:20
Speaker
And what I say is if you don't do your grieving, grieving will do you. Wow. Well, thank you once again, Alexia. You're amazing. oh Thank you for taking the time, the energy, and a commitment to you know speak your truth, be vulnerable, be open, be honest, be authentic. And I think everyone listening will take something from this.
00:36:41
Speaker
And I took a lot from this. Thank you. Honestly, being the first person that I've had on my podcast to talk about loss in this way. So you allow me to feel safe and comfortable asking you questions about it.
00:36:51
Speaker
And, you know, spiritual fitness podcast, people follow her, I'll put everything in the show notes and it's miracle season. You are a miracle in every season because of everything you've been through and everything you're growing through. And I just pray that you continue to do the work.
00:37:06
Speaker
You continue to save lives, help lives and you and your host, two girls, one grief is powerful. So it is. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Subscribe to the Spiritual Fitness Podcast. Go to YouTube.
00:37:17
Speaker
Share. Subscribe. Like. Go Instagram at Eric Bigger. And we're out. Peace and love.
00:37:25
Speaker
Thank you for joining us on the Spiritual Fitness Podcast. We hope today's episode has inspired you and provided valuable insights for your holistic health journey. By blended spirituality and physical wellness, you can strengthen your body, mind, and soul.
00:37:40
Speaker
If you enjoyed today's episode, please subscribe, rate, and leave a review. Until next time, stay strong, stay inspired, and remember, it's miracle season.