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Life as a Working Momma 💼
129 Plays1 year ago
This week, we’re spilling all the tea—from solo parenting wins to how we celebrated Valentines. But then, let’s get real: did you know childcare costs more than rent or a mortgage in almost every state? Yikes. We dive into the crazy stats, the guilt of being a working mom, and how outsourcing has been a total lifesaver. Plus, we share our tricks for managing routines, keeping up the energy, and finding balance.
We’ll wrap it up with some park talk advice! Join us for some real, relatable, and totally girly mom chat!
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Transcript
Introduction to Park Bombs Podcast
00:00:00
Speaker
So I like I'm on the next step into the Park Bombs podcast where you host Haley and Becca. This is a place where we laugh and chat about the chaotic bliss of raising young kids. So whether you're about to take a hot mom walk or start a load of laundry, let's get to yapping. let's get to it.
00:00:13
Speaker
We got a new ring light for our video. do you feel like it's kind of blinding you? It's blinding me when I look at it, but we, I guess we can look at each other a little doing that intro, was like, this is the place. This is the place where we laugh and chat. I couldn't open my
Egg Prices and Scarcity
00:00:27
Speaker
eyes.
00:00:27
Speaker
Okay, I need to talk about something very top of mind for me right now. Please tell me. Do you know what's happening? The egg crisis? The egg crisis? Well, I've heard that eggs are expensive.
00:00:38
Speaker
Yes, they're so expensive, and they're sold out everywhere. They're not at Costco anymore. Do you know what else is happening? Cadbury eggs. They're flying off the shelves. You can't even find them places. I've said that happens every year.
00:00:49
Speaker
Yes, but the two eggs, it's not fun. It's really not making for a fun spring. That's so sweet that you shared your Cadbury eggs with me. that you Where did you find them? Sam like found them at Smith's, but he had to like go down like a weird aisle like it wasn't in the regular candy aisle. Like almost someone was going to get it, and then they put it back.
00:01:05
Speaker
He got the final three. Okay, I'll do some searching and post some links if you're looking for eggs. Or regular eggs for that matter. my gosh. It's like $17 to get organic eggs now. I want chickens so bad. My mom had chickens and so we used to get fresh eggs. And then my mother-in-law had chickens so we got fresh eggs from her.
00:01:20
Speaker
Since then, they have both gotten rid of their chickens. They've just moved. They haven't like unalived them. but they go I think they do die over time though. I mean, i I know that chickens don't live forever.
00:01:35
Speaker
and I know they're not defying the odds of just like gravity basic. Anyways, so um we got so used to having eggs and so we were going to do it. And then we realized that our dog yeah would unalive them. And we said, we can't we can't go through the trauma of that.
00:01:51
Speaker
Can you imagine the kids being so excited about the chickens and finding out that their sweet golden doodle unalives
Valentine's Day Treats and Promotions
00:01:57
Speaker
them? no Therapy that we have to put them in. So if you have any tips on where to get great eggs, let us know.
00:02:03
Speaker
So we're just coming off of Valentine's. How did you celebrate your Valentine's? I know we talked about what you're going to do. is that what you end up doing? Well, I have to say you were my Valentine. Oh. Because you didn't even know. Because on Valentine's Day.
00:02:15
Speaker
Was that Valentine's? was myself. And Becca brought me a drink and a treat on Valentine's night. Even though she should have just been like worrying about herself and her Valentine's Day. I was solo parenting and she trudged.
00:02:27
Speaker
Trudged? Is that a word? Through the snow to bring me. A drink. And she brought um cookie dough bites for my kids. but Did you like them? i ate most them. They're so good. So good.
00:02:37
Speaker
So I think if it's not obvious, we live in Utah and there's lots of drink places. It would be obvious. Yeah. I think it's even just like our accents, honestly. I officially have a Utah accent, actually. Yeah. Oh, well, I guess you didn't have one previously because you're from California.
00:02:54
Speaker
But um there's like also another crisis called Swig. They're literally doing like dollar drinks to put this other business, another drink business. Well, this is what happened. So there's a Swig near us.
00:03:07
Speaker
And Swig drinks are usually pretty overpriced. They've actually raised their prices since they were on the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives show. Because they got a lot of press. They're so popular. Yeah. And so then a competitor drink place was opening up really close to this specific location.
00:03:21
Speaker
So on the day that they opened, they started doing dollar drinks. Any drink. And they're usually like $5. Yeah. To like push the competition out. And I think it's working. But I've been like almost every day this week.
00:03:33
Speaker
Because i can get all my kids. And it's not just like. Oh, the dollar drinks. Yes. no this is what was going to say. When I went to get your Valentine's drink, the line, I'm not kidding, would probably have taken me at least 90 minutes. At Swick. At Swick.
00:03:44
Speaker
Yes. So you went to – So I went to Fizz, the alternative option, and it was great. Time is money. but like when i Time is money to me. When I'm not working, the days where i just have my kids, I'm looking for something to do, that line, my kids are strapped in.
00:03:56
Speaker
I'm getting them a drink for a dollar. like They're happy. They're just chilling. I get a drink. They get a drink. I'm going be sad when they go away. Is it, are they going to keep
Solo Parenting Challenges
00:04:05
Speaker
it a dollar drink forever? I don't know. Every time I ask the workers, like, we don't know.
00:04:09
Speaker
They're like, we're sick of this. This is so busy. They're working us to the bone. you know what? It's getting us through the winter right now. Soda us. I know it's like kind of bullying. Swig is kind of being the bully, but like, it's working.
00:04:20
Speaker
It's working, and I'm not the first swig, but I represent the small businesses, Fizz. um Okay, for Valentine's, we actually um had plans to like make an at-home steak dinner. Our grill stopped working, so we ended up getting just like Indian takeout food, and it was a very chill, low-key Valentine's, nothing crazy.
00:04:42
Speaker
We went skiing over the weekend, though. was like our date. It was very fun. Yeah, and you went skiing twice. Mm-hmm. So jealous. We're like, it's almost not worth for us worth it for us right now to pay a babysitter when the kids are asleep.
00:04:52
Speaker
I know. So it's like fun more fun to do a day date. Yeah. I think we're going to go on Saturday. I have been solo parenting. Well, okay. Keep going with your Valentine's Day. No, that's it. That's it? Mm-hmm. I am on day eight of solo parenting.
00:05:06
Speaker
Day eight, night nine, I've put the kids down by myself, done the whole night routine for nine nights now. And the life is just slowly draining out of me. Have you seen the trend that used to be on like TikTok where it was like day one? It was i'm oh yeah yeah like
First-Time Snowblowing Experience
00:05:21
Speaker
day one of watching Bridgerton, day two of watching Bridgerton. And it would like, I wanted to do that with solo parenting, like day one of solo parenting.
00:05:29
Speaker
And then like just slowly watch the life because that's how it felt. The first day I was like, I got this. I got this. This is fun. This is good. Like i'm gonna be able to do my own thing. Like I'm, and then by tonight I'm like, someone just take me away.
00:05:42
Speaker
You're almost done. This is the home stretch. It's literally till tomorrow. So you're what what's been like the hardest part so far? Um, all of it, honestly. No, I will say my husband has been on a trip during the hardest time of the year.
00:05:56
Speaker
It has been so snowy. i Can we roll the clip? but Can we roll the clip of saying that all the feminism leaves my body when I have to snowblow? Because do you know what i had to do for the first time?
00:06:07
Speaker
Snowblow. And luckily, Becca's husband, Sam, saved me the next two times because I was out there trying to snowblow. And I really wish that someone was videoing me. I did take a video of myself. But I'm like out there, I'm trying to get the to You need to post that.
00:06:19
Speaker
I know. we'll I'll post that clip. But um honestly, that's been the hardest is that we've had the biggest snowstorms of the year. been bad. I'm stuck at home with three little kids and I'm outside like trying to shovel while I have three kids crying inside. And we've just been really stir crazy and there's not a lot to do.
00:06:34
Speaker
So that's been hard. But he comes home tomorrow night and on Saturday morning, I'm going to sleep in. yeah I'm going to sleep in. Also, the sleep thing has been hard. It's just been hard to sleep.
Positives of Solo Parenting and Tough Moments
00:06:43
Speaker
Like that anxiety.
00:06:45
Speaker
I was telling Haley, my husband also did a similar trip. Similar trip. They did the same trip. The exact same weeks ago. Our husbands did the same trips, but not together. But did they went to the same places, I'm pretty sure. Yeah.
00:06:57
Speaker
Tokyo and whatever other places. They went to skiing and then they went to Tokyo. Yeah. Same trip. Same trip. And honestly, the hardest part for me is like just having no like adult to unload on at the end of the day. Like even not even like a friend because I honestly didn't feel like i had the energy to have like a friend over. But I feel like you're very grounded with like your partner and like just to be like, how was your day? What happened with this? Like it's and like you're like you said, like it's hard to even want to sleep because it's like you don't feel like at peace in a way. No. Okay. No. And you're like listening for everything. Yeah.
00:07:29
Speaker
It's been a lot. I'm so happy he's had fun, but I'm so ready for him to be home. Yes, and luckily you have a fun girls trip coming up soon. I know. It's true. Oh, wait. I do have to say this. So, obviously, when he was going, I was so upset.
00:07:43
Speaker
i was just thinking of all the things. Actually, when he was leaving, all the kids are crying. He's, like, saying bye to them, and my five-year-old goes, who's going to make us breakfast? And I was like... I know how to make breakfast. Like I can do it And she's like, you don't know how. You're like, you just've never see me. there's been a of hard things, but I tried to make, I tried to be positive. Yep. So I made a list of the things that are positive when your husband's out of town.
00:08:04
Speaker
First thing, less laundry. Yep. I feel like my laundry seriously was cut in half. I was doing a lot less laundry without him. Second thing, bed, so much easier to make. Like he rips the covers every way. You basically just put your bed back together. Yeah.
00:08:17
Speaker
hundred percent. Third thing, I could self tan without him complaining about the smell. Hmm. There you go. And fourth thing, I could watch whatever show I wanted. with
Motherhood Daily Grind
00:08:27
Speaker
him saying anything. yeah So those are my positives. Yep. But they're no longer working. Keep the silver linings of it. so Today, i was down bad crying at the Costa Vida with my kids because i was like, I'm not going to cook. I'm going to take them inside. We're going to eat.
00:08:41
Speaker
I was so tired. I ordered them quesadillas. They threw them on the ground. Everyone's yelling. They won't let me take a bite. And I like was really trying. so and So I get in the car and I want them to see like, you guys are upsetting me. And I was upset.
00:08:52
Speaker
But my Prozac makes it so I can't cry. Like, yeah I can be so sad and I want to cry so bad, but my Prozac stops me. I need know if anyone else feels that way. Like, sometimes I just want to go off it for a week and just, like, cry. See if you can really cry. Friends myself. Yes.
00:09:06
Speaker
You need shed the tears. Yeah. Anyways, that's that on that. your emotion? Yeah, it, like, completely desensitizes you. You've never heard that me it's... No, kids, did they sense your emotion from the dinner?
00:09:17
Speaker
No, they just kept yelling at me. Yeah. I know. I actually, it's funny. I put on like, uh, we like do life updates and they was preparing for this a couple of days ago. Cause originally we were going to record earlier, but where there was like snow storms and all this random stuff in life.
00:09:32
Speaker
Um, and I wrote down as like my thought of like how much I love my kids. And like, every time I look at them, I'm just like, you are my everything. Like it's truly the purpose of life. And I was just like, Hey, I'm like, I am not feeling that way today. And I'm like, that's just the epitome of motherhood. Like totally.
00:09:47
Speaker
Of course, I always feel that way if I'm being honest with myself. But today, i was just, like, pushed to the limit of just, no, my my kids just were not listening at all to what I was saying. And I'm like, don't throw your food at each other. And i just had spent tons of time making dinner. And they're throwing the spaghetti at each other. They're standing up. They're not eating anything that I made. And I'm just like, I'm over this. At one point, I had to leave my kids and go upstairs just, like, shut the door and just, like,
00:10:12
Speaker
Do that. Yeah. You kind of have to. Yeah. And then like you – the funny thing is you like go to bed, you reset, and then in the morning you're just like, oh, my sweet little angels. I love them so much. You what's hard about Camden being gone is I feel like I'm not resetting because I'm just like not sleeping. I'm up late doing laundry and trying to clean up the house from that whole day because I'm not able to like ever have a break. Yeah. So – All the single parents, I truly don't know how they do it Like, no shout out to any single parent or any parent who has a job where the other spouse has maybe gone a lot. Yeah.
00:10:45
Speaker
Damn.
Balancing Career and Motherhood
00:10:46
Speaker
It's hard. It's hard. You don't realize how much they do. owe Okay. um So the episode this week, we're going to talk a little bit about what it's like being a working mom. I don't know if we've talked – I think we've alluded to the fact that we both work, but i don't know if we've really talked much about like what we do. I feel like getting started, we should just both kind of talk about our careers and like how we got into it. Yeah. do you want to go first? But first, I do have to say um the term working mom is repetitive.
00:11:09
Speaker
Oh. Because working and mom, like no matter what you're doing, whether you're working inside the home, outside the home, you're a working mom. So like the actual term working mom, like all moms are working. Yes. And I will say like we've both experienced like you've had time off work.
00:11:24
Speaker
I've had time off work. I've tried not working at all. I've tried working multiple jobs part-time. I've truly done it all. I don't think anything is easier. i agree. Harder. I think they're just different. And we're all working hard, even if you are only working in the home or you're working in the home and outside of the home. So what's the correct term?
00:11:43
Speaker
Instead of working mom. Working mom is definitely correct. I just wanted to shout out that it was repetitive because any mom is working just in their own way. I completely agree. And I know we'll talk about this more, but I feel like any mom I've talked to, regardless of like if they're stay at home or they're working or they're doing a mixture of that, it doesn't like make your troubles really any different. Like it just like it it's hard and it's easy and it's just like all the things. And I think everyone feels overwhelmed by it a lot of times or feel a lot of joy for me. I think it's just like, it's hard no matter what your position is for that. Okay, so... Tell us how you are a boss babe. Tell us about your job and what you do.
00:12:21
Speaker
Yeah. um So, I'm actually going to... Boss babe! I'm actually going to start back and where I actually first got into my career because I was not... I never like thought in my mind, I'm going to be like this huge career woman, but I always was like a very motivated child.
00:12:36
Speaker
I was motivated in college. I like got scholarships. Like... Just like got very like driven by accomplishing things. And my first job was actually in event planning and that's what I majored in.
00:12:47
Speaker
So like I don't even know if you know that. But yeah, I planned Oh, did the color run. I worked at the color run. And then I like randomly got into sales and it was – At the time, it was like back in like 2014 or 15, not popular and not popular for women like at all.
00:13:05
Speaker
And so like the fact that I got into it for one, tech sales, it was like the beginning of tech sales was just very random, like event planning to sales. And then also just like very different to have like be a female in that role.
00:13:17
Speaker
And like for my first several years, I was probably one of the only females on my team. Yeah, you were. Yeah, I was. And I actually started a group, Utah Women in Sales with a friend of mine.
00:13:28
Speaker
And we did like meetups and like there was actually a lot of women in sales and then getting into sales. So that was like a fun community growth. And like I feel like that's where I really started getting passionate about like women in the workplace. Yeah.
00:13:40
Speaker
Just because like I realized one, how impactful they were and also just like how big of a community there were of people that were working in sales specifically. So did sales for quite a few years and then um randomly got into recruiting.
00:13:55
Speaker
don't have to tell that whole story, but now I'm in recruiting. And I Recruiting for sales teams. I recruit for sales teams. So I've worked at a company local to here and I actually started a new job at a Bay Area company. So it is...
00:14:09
Speaker
busy. And if you've worked the last like five years, you know, it's felt very different over the last five years. Like 2020 was like kind of chill and like so different because of COVID and everything happening.
00:14:20
Speaker
And then like the last couple of years have just been so intense and like everything's about efficiency and like driving success. You know, there was lots of layoffs happened over the last few years. And so it's busy, like it's intense. And I think expectations are really high. We use a ton of AI in our, um,
00:14:36
Speaker
In my job, I'm using AI all day long. And so it's just like, I don't know. It's just crazy how much things have changed like the last 10 years of my career. It's a lot more fast-paced, would you say, in the past couple years than when you first started? Yes. And it's just like everything. It's like efficiency over anything. Yeah. It's like how everything the thing I do, like how can I make it more efficient? Do you feel like having a job that is really geared towards efficiency has helped you with like efficiency in motherhood?
00:14:58
Speaker
Oh, ah a thousand percent. And we can definitely get inside of like all of our systems. yeah But I just think like –
00:15:05
Speaker
I think because you're on such a structured schedule as a working parent, you do have to, like, have a lot of efficiencies and systems. Yeah, for sure. There's not a lot of free time. No, there's not a lot free time. And I do think stay-at-home moms feel the same way.
00:15:18
Speaker
Yeah. Don't you feel For sure. It's a little different. So... Yeah, Becca is honestly amazing and so inspiring. And if you are younger listening to this and trying to figure out what to do, you should hit her up.
00:15:29
Speaker
Because I feel like she's really good at also identifying what kind of jobs other people should have. And you're like I've come to you ton with just career choices that I'm making. You've always given me really good advice. Oh, that's nice. Thank you.
00:15:41
Speaker
um I was the opposite of not thinking I would be a career woman. My favorite game to play with my siblings was CEO. Oh, okay. Instead of playing house, we played CEO and I would have my little desk. I can see this.
00:15:53
Speaker
would have my little desk and we had a printer and they would have to like, i was like being the devil wears Prada. They would like have to bring me papers and I'd be like, approved. So I always wanted to be a career woman. I majored in advertising, as did my husband, and I was going to go to traditional advertising. And then instead of doing that, I fell in love with small business because I interned for a small business here and ah specifically e-commerce. Yeah. So I got really obsessed with just, and this is when e-commerce was like really starting to get big.
00:16:23
Speaker
Yeah. And Utah, if you know, is like such a hub for For e-commerce brands. Yep. So I worked for a few companies and then I started my own company. That's a whole nother story. was successful. And then I started doing branding and content creation and website creation and um consulting for other e-commerce brands.
00:16:42
Speaker
And then i was a creative director for a baby brand. And then I started another brand. I've started lots of different companies. And then for the past three years, I've been the creative director of a company here called Woven Nook, which is home decor.
00:16:54
Speaker
If you know me, it's like marrying my two loves of e-commerce and home decor. My first business that I owned was actually a home decor and accessories brand. And so kind it's fun to like go full circle. So I've been doing that three years, but I only work part-time.
00:17:10
Speaker
I have like one-off projects here and there with like photography and brand photography. But this year I'm trying to focus just on not doing that. Yeah. Just focusing on my part-time job and then my kids.
00:17:22
Speaker
Yeah. I just going to say, Haley's like a true entrepreneur at heart. Like she's always doing something like that's going to be driving money towards you. Like you also do photography. You also do brand photography. You do branding. Like basically anything you can think of, she does. I always tell her, I'm like, you're so like marketable because like, even if you never, like if you completely stop working for a company, like you have a million things you could do to like go get a side hustle. I mostly just have career FOMO.
00:17:47
Speaker
Like I see someone with a job and I'm like, that looks fun. Yeah. i want to try that. And I'm just delusional and I'm like, I could do that. Yeah. Like I could figure that out. You're the type of person that can though. And I do stick with things. I wouldn't say I don't stick with things because I've been in the same like general field yeah my whole career.
00:18:04
Speaker
But I just get excited about new ideas. Yeah. it's been really fun. Yeah. You're amazing at it. It is hard to juggle. Yes. with And i I feel like we also have to like kind of give some context of like, for me at least, like I, my partner and spouse also works.
00:18:19
Speaker
and Luckily, we both get a work remote. I think that makes a huge difference. He is in like, um he's kind of like more technical person, but like kind of a mixture of like engineering and sales.
00:18:30
Speaker
However, i do you think it's very difficult to have two careers And not have you both have like a pretty strong partnership of like helping with the kids. Because I think like in a lot of households, there's only one working person. And so that looks much, that looks like a very different relationship when you have two working people. Like I think the reason why i feel like I can do it is because I do have a lot of support. Yeah.
00:18:52
Speaker
I don't think I'd feel the same. You
Job Loss as a Blessing
00:18:54
Speaker
know what I mean? Like, and I want to caveat that, that like the reason I can work full time is because I have a lot of support. Like we're like 50, 50 on like the kids and we also have full time nanny, but yeah, for sure. Well, and I want to say too,
00:19:07
Speaker
I've gone through like different areas of where I'm working a lot. I'm working part-time. And we were trying the more traditional thing. After I had my second, my husband was working a sales job, but crazy hours, super stressful.
00:19:20
Speaker
And I was like, do you know what? He's making enough money. I don't need to work anymore. And I pulled back. And to be honest, I was miserable. yeah he was always working, which he didn't love. He felt like he was never seeing the kids. And I wasn't working, and I felt like I was losing that part of myself that – I really honestly loved, like I'm a creative and I love being creative and I love business. It's just so much harder than the mixture that I'm doing now. Yeah.
00:19:42
Speaker
It's just constantly being like, okay, what are we going to do today? Trying to plan things, trying to stay excited. Like the stamina that you have to have to be fully a stay at home mom all the time is so draining. And yeah,
00:19:54
Speaker
So he was doing that. I was working. I wasn't working, and he was working a ton, and he actually lost his job. And it was the biggest blessing because he ended up getting a job where he makes less money,
00:20:06
Speaker
But he is so fulfilled. He is works from home. He's so happy. And we just feel like we have this really good balance now of we're both able to be home with the kids, both working. He works less.
00:20:18
Speaker
I work part-time. And it just feels like – it feels good for right now. Yeah. don't know if that will change. And we're constantly having the conversation of like, okay, do we go out and make more money? Do we chase higher-paying jobs? Yeah.
00:20:28
Speaker
Or do we really put an emphasis right now on like that our kids are little and we want to be with them and we want to be together? And I will say like our marriage has gotten better and I'm so – we're so blessed that we're able to like do that right now. There's like different things that we did and saved so that we could do this.
00:20:42
Speaker
But if your situation isn't working for you, like if you are a full stay-at-home mom like I was and you're not happy, don't be scared to switch it up. Yeah. Like I think we get so stuck sometimes in like our roles.
00:20:54
Speaker
But if – like even my husband, he probably would have never quit. But even the night before he got fired, I was looking at him and he just looked so miserable. Like he was so stressed out all the time. And I looked at him and i was like, are you happy? he's like, honestly, no.
00:21:09
Speaker
You do have to like work to live. And don't get us wrong. We do not have it all figured out. Like Haley and I are texting each other like most of the days being like, should we quit? oh Should we just be stay at home moms? And then like I was just on maternity leave and it was really, really nice just to have the time with the kids. And I do think I valued it a little bit more because I knew I was going back.
00:21:27
Speaker
um And so I was like, oh, I can like really appreciate this. And I love just like the freedom of, like, that. And I honestly don't know. Like, I think there is a day when I don't keep working. yeah But it's just, like, it kind of goes back to – I talked to about this a little bit, Haley. It's, like, everyone kind of has a different belief system of, like, what's going to work for them. And, like, we grew up a certain way. We had certain stigmas of things we should or shouldn't do. And I think just whatever your situation is, like, you know what's best for you.
00:21:52
Speaker
And, yeah, it's going to look different for everybody. Yeah. And just try to – like, don't be – Don't be scared to change your situation, but also try to be happy with the situation that you're
Challenges of Working Moms
00:22:02
Speaker
in. Yeah, the grass is definitely not always green. Like, it's not easier to be a working mom, and it's not easier to be stay-at-home mom. I think it's just, like, different hard, and it's different and hard for different people, too. There's weeks where, i actually, no, every single week, I have to text Becca, and she has to talk to me off the ledge of quitting my job, and I have the greatest job.
00:22:18
Speaker
I love the people I work with. It's really awesome. But I have to be like, um okay, tell me why I'm working again. Like, can you remind me? It's probably so annoying for you because you have to do it at least once a week. No, I feel the same way though. It's just hard too because i think you feel a lot of guilt. Like yeah at the end of the day, like yeah i I think stay-at-moms also have mom guilt. So not saying that they don't, but as a working mom,
00:22:40
Speaker
You feel like, is there more I could be doing? Could I be giving them more of my energy and my time and like be there for the moments like that I definitely miss out on? And so I think it's hard. like i I definitely have that mom guilt and that doesn't go away.
00:22:52
Speaker
Yeah, for sure. um Okay. I do want to share a couple of stats that I thought were really interesting. Yeah. Because I would say just talking to people, there are more moms working today 2025 that thought they would working.
00:23:04
Speaker
they would be but what it Wouldn't? Yeah, I thought that they wouldn't be working. And so I thought thought that some of these stats were interesting. um So 70, this year, or in 2024, 70% of moms of babies and toddlers work outside of the home, which I thought was really interesting because... Yeah, that's a lot.
00:23:21
Speaker
seventy 70% is pretty high. And I wish I had stats of like, i I do know that's the highest that it's ever been. Yeah. Yeah. So, and I think it's honestly cool. I mean, I don't know if this is full-time or part-time. Yeah.
00:23:33
Speaker
But my mom will even tell me sometimes, like, there's so many more opportunities for you to be working part-time, working remote. Yeah. There's, like, because the the way the internet is and because e-commerce brands or tech companies, like, there's so much more we can do from the comfort of our homes. And then we have a lot more opportunities.
00:23:50
Speaker
Yeah, I agree. And even, like, influencing, like, a lot of women now, like, they'll do a side hustle. like Yeah. whether it's like influencing or affiliate marketing or all of that. It's also like popular. Influencing is mom run, woman run industry. And it's honestly really cool. It's so incredible.
00:24:06
Speaker
I'm always so impressed. Actually. I love that. There's so many people out there doing that because it's lot of work. It's hard. It's hard. Yeah. It's hard. It's lot of work. Um, okay. And then, oh this is, don't even know if I want to open this can of worms, but we're going to do it. Okay.
00:24:23
Speaker
Um, This week, so I don't know when this, I'm pretty sure this was from Forbes. Okay. But um it was reported that for the first time, child care for two kids costs more than rent in all 50 states and more than the average mortgage in 45 states.
00:24:39
Speaker
Oh my gosh. It's expensive. It is expensive. And this is the biggest tip that someone told me that completely... i feel like I was just... i think it was... you Yeah. Did you tell me this? I'm pretty sure because I was just going to say any two incomes. Yes. Okay. I'm going to let you share because I used to spiral when I would say i would put my um my salary and then I would put it next to how much we're spending on childcare and then I would do taxes and I would be like, great. So I paid to work. Like that's super awesome. Yeah.
00:25:08
Speaker
But then Becca told me this and it completely changed me. someone told me it early in my career and I thought it was really helpful. It's like you need to think of your household as like both incomes and childcare as an expense of both of you guys um versus just like one because it it isn't it isn't just one person's salary that's going to getting a nanny. Like you both are working and so that's why you need like – a nanny or daycare or something. And so I feel like it's a lot better to look at that way because then it doesn't feel like it's a waste of your time. it's like, no, this is valuable. Yeah.
00:25:36
Speaker
And I think as moms too, we often put the cost of childcare on our jobs. I think just like – I don't know, if something that society or just like something internally that we do. And I was doing that and it was making me really unhappy.
00:25:49
Speaker
And now when I think, okay, we're both working, we're both making money and we're both paying for childcare. And it seems just a lot easier to justify that cost because it is
Systems and Outsourcing for Work-Family Balance
00:25:58
Speaker
expensive. And we have amazing nannies that we love. Yeah. They were actually sisters. Mine just got a new job, which like she's furthering her career. I'm so happy for her.
00:26:06
Speaker
But it was really fun because our nannies were sisters and they would get our kids yeah together all the time. And they're amazing and they're worth every penny. Worth every penny. I completely agree. And I think like you have to have like people you trust and a good like system that your kids have. Whether it's like daycare a nanny just because like that doesn't mean we're spending a majority of their time. Yeah.
00:26:26
Speaker
Okay. I do want to share this stat. Women are three times more likely than men to say that they are the default responder to unexpected childcare issues in their family. So I feel like there can be a lot of reasons for this. Like in my situation, I work part-time. So if something happens with childcare, can make up my work at another time, whereas my husband works full-time.
00:26:44
Speaker
But if you're both working full-time, I really feel like the responsibility of childcare needs to be on both partners. Yeah, and I think um I actually had a friend who talked to me about this, a co-worker. She was just like, well, it's hard because like my child has a doctor's appointment. I'm going to be there. like i I think with that mom guilt, you don't want to miss out on a picture conference or a soccer game or ah doctor's appointment. And so I think that's a lot of the reason is like you put that...
00:27:11
Speaker
pressure on yourself to always make sure you're at those big things. and I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing, but I do agree that like, it does seem to fall on the mom more. And it's almost like to me, I'm like employers should be more like empathetic towards it because Honestly, most of the women I've worked with and a lot of working moms are one best employees there are. They're extremely efficient. They know how to, like, be scheduled. They're the CEO of their household and also, like, a CEO of their job.
00:27:36
Speaker
And so I think employees just need to like, understand that because if only one person's working, of course, they're not going to have to the doctor's appointment because stay-at-home parent can do that. You know what I mean? And so I think it's just, like, understanding, like, a mom doesn't want to miss those things. Yeah, yeah. And then if you're the spouse, if you're the husband, and – your wife, like just be a support them.
00:27:57
Speaker
You know, I, I, someone asked me the other day, cause we're now going to find a new nanny. i was like, oh I'm just a little stressed about going through the whole process of like finding another nanny. And they're like why don't you make your husband do it? Like, yeah, I guess I could do that. But then I also was like, that might be kind of weird. Cause we typically hire girls yeah to have the dad be like DMing all these girls on Instagram or Facebook being like, do you want to be a nanny? I'm like, okay. Yeah, no, I'll handle that part. But, um yeah. I see what you're saying, though. We have a group text with us and our nanny. Because we're a team. yeah Three of us are a team. That sounds weird. But we are all trying to take care of the kids, make sure that we can work as fish as efficiently as possible, that the kids' needs are all taken care of. And so that's a really way good way to get the husband involved if you are a working mom and you feel like you need him to pull his weight a little bit more and just, like, the communication aspect.
00:28:46
Speaker
But the kids have a great little group text. Yeah, that's good advice. I like that. That's great. And it's always less awkward for the nanny too. I don't know why it feels weird it's like just text the dad. oh Do you remember like when you would grow up babysitting? Yes. and the dad would take you home. It literally was my worst nightmare. And they talked to you. I'm like, ugh.
00:29:04
Speaker
I'm like, please, I'd rather walk home in the freezing cold than have you drive me home alone. It is uncomfortable. Would you sit in the front seat or the back seat? Oh, I can't remember. I, like, don't recall. feel like the backseat would be weird, like you're, like, in an Uber.
00:29:16
Speaker
There was no Uber back then. That's true. Honestly, i would always just take – I lived in a small town, so I would just take my four-wheeler places and drive it home at, like, late at night. cool, girl. and know. it was really cool. But I, like – I just, like, I would never let Sam take home the babysitters. I'm, like, unless I'm coming with him or I take him because I'm, like, that is just so awkward. do think there's situations where can be so comfortable with them, though.
00:29:39
Speaker
Like, okay, my nine my cousin is our neighbor right now. cousin, yeah. And it's like, Camden's her cousin. Well, she's my cousin, but Camden is family. It feels like family. But I'm always, my husband, I mean, my husband's like the least intimidating. I don't think he's very intimidating, but I'm always like, don't be scary.
00:29:55
Speaker
Don't be weird. And he's like, can I say hi? I'm like, yeah, that's it. Yeah. I'm like. Don't cry. He how are you doing? He's very friendly. Yeah. And I'm like, don't overdo it. Yeah. Be nice. Take a minute.
00:30:06
Speaker
He was very nice, but yeah, I remember that as a girl, so I'm always like cognizant that. It's just like weird, but like, don't know why. You don't want to be friends with the dads. Yeah. Okay, we put an outsource. I want to know, because obviously you work a lot more than me, so I don't really outsource right now. I have like a few tips that make my week go easier, but what's your favorite thing that you outsource currently?
00:30:26
Speaker
Well, we talked about a nanny. Our nanny is amazing. We've had her for almost five years. So she's like basically family. Ever since that I've been working with kids, I've had my her. So um one thing that she does that's so amazing is she just like cleans up before she leaves and like puts away the kids toys. and'm like, I know that doesn't seem like a big deal, but it is something that like actually gives me so much peace of mind. Yeah. And also she'll like help me do like some errands sometimes like drop something off at UPS or whatever and like that helps a ton so I think like having her like involved in some of the household duties and I think it's fun for them too to like get out and go get like a drink or something um but obviously we've also like had a cleaner come we don't do it all the time just because it's very expensive but like maybe once a month we'll do that um you know that I do newly I feel like that's something that's like
00:31:16
Speaker
helps me like feel more put together and not have like go shopping. I'll do like grocery delivery instead of like going in person. What else do I do? you I love grocery delivery. nice. You really do have to have these systems. I feel like when you're stay at home mom and you're not working, your work is the systems. It's cleaning the house. It's ordering the groceries. It's meal planning. It's meal prepping.
00:31:36
Speaker
And when you work, you do have a little bit more freedom to be like, okay, I'm working, so I'm going to pay someone to do that. yeahp I remember your friend Olivia, Olivia Beth, oh yeah was on a podcast once, and this really resonated with me. as She was like, I had to start outsourcing.
00:31:50
Speaker
And she just gave some really good tips of like why did you do yeah like, what is my time worth? And she's like, I'm not saying my time is worth more than someone else's, but is
Prioritizing Family Time
00:31:59
Speaker
it really worth it? Like, should I pay the extra $10 to have the delivery? 100%. Yep.
00:32:03
Speaker
yep And so that's hard for me because I'm so cheap sometimes. But having that – I just started paying for Walmart delivery. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. It has changed my life. I also feel like you can save doing delivery too. Yes.
00:32:15
Speaker
It's $12 a month. I feel like I have a personal assistant. Probably – I can't remember if I shared this on the podcast. I probably did. But a few weeks ago, I had – What's it called? ChatGBT. Oh, home amazing.
00:32:27
Speaker
And then I just ordered it from Walmart, showed up at my door that night, and I was like, I'm living in the future. It's amazing. love living in the future. Using AI, we're going to give some suggestions to use AI to make your life as mom more efficient. I know I will also say, like as much as I am a systems person, have my to-do list and you know working on things collaboratively with my husband, I definitely still drop the ball. Oh, 100%.
00:32:50
Speaker
and especially When there's like really tough times, like we've been, I've been very busy at work. I've been traveling for work. Plus we've been sick multiple times back to back. And I just feel like I'm not on it as much as I normally am. And some stuff does go by the wayside. Yeah, 100%.
00:33:06
Speaker
And I think like this could go for stay at home moms or working home moms. Like there's days my kids are hair's not done when they go to school. Like I don't read through all their assignments. Like the other day I missed, I didn't realize we were supposed to be paying for the books they brought home.
00:33:19
Speaker
And I had been missing that. Just like things like that. Yeah. Don't be so hard on yourself. do miss. And like i'm not saying stay at home moms don't miss that either, but it's definitely not all perfect. I feel like we have our system so down right now that if just like one little thing yeah goes off, the whole thing spirals. It all just spirals and breaks. Like my husband being out of town, I've just been like, yeah I just want to get back to like our organization and systems.
00:33:41
Speaker
I, big thing that we do is just like Sunday, we are planning the week out. That's smart. planning the meals. Yep. I have to give a shout out to another podcast that's local is Kindred Conversations launched a weekly planner. It's so cute. love it in your mouth. And it in my cart for so long, but I'm obsessed with it because I sit down at the beginning of the week. I plan what workout classes we're going to.
00:34:02
Speaker
i plan what days I'm working, what babysitters we have, what events we have. Like my husband and I just talk throughout the entire week and we also have so many shared notes. Yep. We have a shared note of grocery lists and it says like Target, Trader Joe's, Costco, and has whenever one of us thinks of something, we add it straight to the list. So smart. Yeah.
00:34:21
Speaker
We order all of our groceries Sunday night. We meal plan. Like, we sit down for probably 45 minutes every Sunday night and be like, okay, you have going on this week? Yeah. Even though we do it Sunday night, we also do it the night before and be like, okay, what do you have going on tomorrow?
00:34:32
Speaker
Do you guys go through your budget too? Because I kind of want to do that, like all the transactions from the week. I don't want to start off the week to depressed. Yeah, it is hard, but it's also kind of motivating of like, okay, let's go hard this week. I know. I texted my husband when he was gone.
00:34:45
Speaker
i said my husband. I texted Camille while he was gone, and was like, can we please go over budget? Because every dollar I spend, I'm like, am I supposed to be doing this? I'm just like going off vibes, and it's not good. Yeah, so the vibes is always spending. yeah i I do think a lot about like prioritization as a working mom.
00:35:02
Speaker
i think for me, something I like – try to do is just make sure I really do like the little things. um An example of this is when I'm not working, I really try to have like quality time with my kids. Like,
00:35:15
Speaker
And it's not always easy, but I think like just taking them to do something or sitting down and playing with them, getting on their level, like I have to make that a big priority for me. And like if sometimes work goes by the wayside in order for me to like go to a parent-teacher conference or, you know, it's my son's birthday tomorrow, I'm taking off work. Like that is important to me. I'm never going to drop that. Like for me, family is always number one, work comes second. And that's how I'll always be. And like, I'm still going to be a really great worker, but it's not ever going to come number one for me. And so,
00:35:43
Speaker
Do you ever have days where you feel like you do have to put work first though? Oh, for sure. Like, it's all a balancing act and, like, it's never perfect.
Maintaining Social Connections
00:35:50
Speaker
But, like, overall, I want to feel like I'm, like, not missing on things. Like, ah otherwise, it's not worth it to me. I'm, like, yeah it's not worth it for me to work if I'm going to miss out on, like, my kids' lives. 100%. then the other example is, um like, try to still, like, do meetups and stuff with friends. Like, this summer, I was on maternity leave and so I was able to do a lot of like, preschool meetups with and meet my um kids' parents – kids' friends' parents.
00:36:15
Speaker
And like, since I've been working, I haven't been able to go to those things that frequently. And so that's something I want to like reintegrate is like take an hour off at lunch and like go to those meetups because otherwise I'm not going to meet like my kids, friends, parents. And like, that's very important to me that I know who he's hanging out with. I know who the parents are.
00:36:30
Speaker
And so it is, you kind of have to give up on some of those things in some ways, but where I try to find that we have like a friend group where our kids all go to the same school. So true. Our kids go the same school. Our friend Maddie, her son to the same school.
00:36:44
Speaker
We have a ton of friends. Carly, like we have a lot of friends that go the same school. So it's kind of nice that we already have that built in. Yeah. But won't you say burn? We go to this. Oh, yeah. Yeah. hold Burn Boot Camp, which if you're in Utah, you've also heard of it.
00:36:56
Speaker
And I feel like that hits so many boxes for me because I get my social. Like on the days that I'm working, I'll see you at a workout. I'll see other friends at workout. like Multitasking.
00:37:07
Speaker
My kids get to see their friends. Yep. And I'm sometimes working out. Sometimes we're just yapping and we're getting in trouble, but find something like that. Yeah. It's, it has been so good for me because it really is hard. Gotta to hit like um all of those.
00:37:20
Speaker
and Yeah. take care I literally put like, I wouldn't, we put multitask. I was thinking burn is my multitask. Like I'm getting my workout. I'm getting my endorphins. My kids today, when we were pulling in, my three-year-old goes,
00:37:32
Speaker
The gym is my school. And was like, yeah. Basically. yep I haven't done preschool yet and neither have you. o So it is their school. They do such a good job though. It's so cute. It is cute. So doing stuff like that. Cause it really, as a working mom, the hardest thing we can get into this is feeling like you're missing out on the friend hangouts. Yes. I like really miss the park hangouts. They haven't happened that frequently cause it's been winter. And so it's not that frequent.
00:37:53
Speaker
But I do have a goal, like – because I do feel like a lot of times um people don't meet up to like, four anyways. And I'm, like, I'm usually done-ish around then. And in the summertime, the days feel a lot longer. after work, we're going to have time to go to the pool. Yes. We're going to have time to go hang out with friends. I just feel like you have more time. Winter is about just, like, wintering, being at home more. I can promise, like, you probably feel like you're missing out on things. There's nothing going on right now.
Balancing Podcast and Family
00:38:18
Speaker
Overwinter. Yeah. yeah And I think the last thing is just, like – When it comes to prioritizing, like, what can I let go of? Like, an example of this is, like, we were supposed to record this week on the podcast. We didn't. We're going to be releasing late. And, like, at the end of the day, like, as fun as this is and, like, we something we really care about and want to keep doing, like, it's not, like, number one priority compared to, like, our family and work. And hopefully one day it'll be our number one priority and this is full time for us. and But, like, that's not where it's at today. And I think you just have to, like, be okay with, like, saying no to certain things. Saying no to things and prioritizing. Yeah, for sure.
00:38:52
Speaker
and even just like... your own mental health like the reason why we didn't do it I think is both of us just like retired just like not in the right mindset yeah do it either and there was one night where I wasn't in the right mindset there night where you weren't and that's okay yeah and I think just being realistic that it's not can't you can't do it it all I really was like no I can do it all and I you can't you really honestly can't I completely agree okay I did put a question on here and maybe we already talked about it but what's the hardest part of being a working mom for you There's a lot of hard parts, like the logistical parts of childcare, you know, like people get sick, kids get sick. um
00:39:32
Speaker
I will say the actual most continuous hardest part is knowing if what I'm doing, working part-time is the best decision. yeah I think just like being like, okay, well, my kids are only young once.
00:39:43
Speaker
Is working good for them? is it good for me? it Does it make me a better mom? Am I missing out on things? I think I have a lot of guilt sometimes. I always tell you my hardest thing is when friends are getting together. i feel like it used to not affect my kids, but now it does because they're old enough where they're like, wait, all my friends did this today, but we couldn't go because you were working.
00:40:02
Speaker
And then I feel guilty because I'm like, am I selfish for working and making them miss out? But I think it's also really good, like on the flip side of that, for them to see something I'm good at and passionate about. And my mom didn't, she always did like, she didn't work a ton growing up. She was primarily a stay-at-home mom.
00:40:20
Speaker
And she went back to nursing school when I was a senior in high school, I think. It's so funny because when she did it, I was like, I didn't know my mom was smart. Yeah. That sounds so terrible. But I remember being a bratty senior in high school, seeing her do like some math that I could have never done. And I was like, oh, my mom is smart. Like I had the realization.
00:40:39
Speaker
And so I think it's good for them to see that I'm good at something. But I do just constantly, I'm like, am I am i making the right decision? Yeah. And it is a battle. am i Is it selfish that I'm working because I do love what I do? Like, should I be doing this? Am I going to look back in 10 years and regret working?
00:40:54
Speaker
And so I'd say that's the hardest part. Yeah. What about you? Yeah. Do you feel like that's the flip side the best part too? Yes. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Just that you like do get the opportunity to like – be good at things and like yeah show your skills and like make an impact, like like it's financial success. Yeah. It's the hardest part, but I also do think it's a good example.
00:41:13
Speaker
And I'm not saying that you're not a good example if you're not working, but I do think that my kids will take something from it. And I'm the kind of personality where I think I'm happier when I'm working. I think if I, if work didn't make me happier, it would be a different conversation.
00:41:28
Speaker
Yeah. But just those constant check-ins of being like, okay, is this still worth it? Yeah. And I do think um regardless if you work or not, like I think it is good for your kids to see that you have things you're passionate about, like whether it's work or it's something else.
00:41:40
Speaker
um I think for me too, like I get anxiety no matter what. And so sometimes it's nice that like my anxiety is work-related versus like when I'm not working, I realize it's really focused on my kids and like kind of crazy anxiety. Like are they going to run into the road and get hit by a car today type of conversations I have in my head. And so it's sometimes nice to like have – have my stress is kind of be more around that. And be able to leave it more at work.
00:42:04
Speaker
Leave it more at work. That's a really point. you didn't say what the hardest part is. I feel similarly that it's just like, is this where I'm spending, I'm spending so much time and energy on this for what? Sometimes I feel that way.
00:42:15
Speaker
However, like I feel the same too. Like it's a great use of my brain. Like I've been able to see a lot of success. I've made big accomplishments. I've helped a lot of people as well. um Like people that I've hired, but also I've helped a lot of people in their careers like find success. And like that's been really rewarding for me.
00:42:32
Speaker
um And I do so think it's a good example yeah for my kids and just for people around me. Like I think it feels easy as a woman to just like I can't accomplish. it's like, you know, I've gotten a lot of our friends into like sales or like – And for sure I do not think it's like you have to continue to work forever, but it feels good to be like oh, I can be successful at this. It's not a man's world. Like I'm also valuable and I can contribute a lot. No, for sure. And I think you are a really good example of that. That's why i was saying like if someone younger for some reason is listening to the podcast, who's not a mom yet.
00:43:03
Speaker
I saw a TikTok the other day of this girl who's like, I have a question for the working moms. Like genuinely, how are you guys doing it? How are you getting it all done? And we're not I like commented, I was like, we have a podcast episode coming out on this Oh yeah.
00:43:16
Speaker
The, this TikTok blew up because I think people are genuinely like, how do you do it all? And you don't do it all, but like you do figure it out and you can do more than you think. And moms are, moms are superheroes at the end of the day. And like, I, I will say like, I do lean on my husband a lot too. And he was actually saying the other day, he's like,
00:43:32
Speaker
It is one thing that's great about us both working is I actually feel like I'm in a lot more involved dad as well um because he's like, I'd probably be working a lot longer in later hours like without us both working. And so that dynamic works amazing for some people. Exactly. that's the dynamic that they love. I really think like.
00:43:49
Speaker
we were kind of raised in a society where it was very much like the dad works yeah and the mom doesn't yeah and we're doing it differently and I think I would have been and I was so unhappy when we followed those dynamics but I have friends who have those dynamics and they're absolutely thriving yes so it really just is a personality thing and I think you and your partner just really have to figure out like hey what does this look like yeah if you're not happy again be willing to maybe pivot Yeah, and like that could be into ah actually working or it could also just be like finding where you're passionate. And i we I love to see a little side hustle happening. Like it's so impressive. Like we all can do – doesn't even have to be to make money. But like I think just doing things that make us happy and like – actually, I was just talking to my mom about this other day. Like she does not need to work.
00:44:34
Speaker
um But like she doesn't have like something that's her own. And she's just taking care of everyone else. And so she's like trying to find little hobbies that like are her own. And I think it's good to have things that you're passionate about. It doesn't have to be for an income, but just like something that and maybe it's like painting or that's creative. Just something that like feels like you can accomplish things and it's for you.
00:44:54
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. So we wanted to do an episode on this because it actually is a big part of our lives. It's just we do work and like it does take a lot of our time. And I think the moral of the story is like it does not matter if you work or you – don't work. Like it's just, you know, finding things that are going to help you feel fulfilled. And then like, hopefully we can give some tips that like can help you be successful if you are working because it is hard yeah and you kind of need those systems to be successful. Yeah. And it's also okay to have like breakdowns.
00:45:23
Speaker
Yep. Every once in a while. Every day. This is my like classic breakdown line is like it's just too much. Yeah. Like my husband I'll be like it's just too much like this this this this this this and like that's okay.
00:45:34
Speaker
Just go to sleep and like see how tomorrow goes. Yes. And it's hard like to prioritize your needs too and I don't think that stay-at-home moms feel differently about that though. Like I think that we're all in the same boat. Like I said, I will joke all the time when people are oh my gosh, you work and your mom. Like that's crazy. i'm like, no, I work so I can go down to my office. Yeah.
00:45:55
Speaker
Put my headphones
Listener Questions and Parenting Tips
00:45:56
Speaker
a break in some ways. And like, yeah, I used to tell myself like, oh, I work because it's a break. And I'm like, I need to stop saying that because it really is still work. It's a change of pace. That's what you should say. change of pace. It's something that just like breaks up your day. Yep. And yeah.
00:46:08
Speaker
Anyways, we're going to go into part... the but little atlips Now that that's wrapped up, we're going to go into park talk and we have three quick submissions. So I'm going to read them. Are you ready? Yep. We'll go through these fairly quickly. Okay.
00:46:20
Speaker
Um, how to navigate in-laws that only want you to come visit them at their house and otherwise make zero effort to interact with your kids or family, your kids or come and visit your family at your house.
00:46:34
Speaker
have something to say about this. Okay. go first. I used to kind of be like, oh, like I, my family, we mostly go to my parents' house. They used to be oh, it's such a, it's probably an hour drive. Yeah. Like it's so long. And then my in-laws live 30 minutes away. And I'm like, it's so long. Can't they just come here? Do you know what's great?
00:46:51
Speaker
Hmm. They make a mess at their house? Yes. They can go make a mess somewhere else. Do you know my favorite thing to do before we go to the in-laws' house or my parents' house is we clean the house and then we leave and then we come home to a clean house. Like if we go over there for dinner.
00:47:05
Speaker
So I know it's not really solving your problem, but maybe look at the bright side. Yeah, I almost feel like, too, this comment may be stemming from, like, you want them to make an effort. And I get that. Like, I think, like... it's true.
00:47:16
Speaker
I think it's not even about whose house it's at. It's, like, you want to feel like you're the grandparents, like, are making an effort to come and see and love your child. And I think the end the day, there's people that are going to do that. Like, whether it's your siblings or neighbors or friends, like, and let those people who, like, naturally love their your child, like, make that effort. And, like, if they're not willing to come to your house, like, it's, like...
00:47:38
Speaker
kind of their loss in a way, you know what I mean? And I think for me, it's very important for my kids to be close to my grandparents. So for me, I'd be willing to make the drive and like, you know, let them be at their house, but not all the time. You know i mean? You'd have to do what works best for you. And like, there's other people that they can like build that relationship with that are like,
00:47:54
Speaker
willing to put in the effort yeah also i don't know if you've already done this but plan things at your house like yeah maybe they're the ones always inviting you over not saying that you're in the wrong at all i'm just saying maybe they're the ones like hey come do family dinner at our house yep but maybe just like hey we're doing taco tuesday at our house you know Try to kind of like flip it a little bit and just like drop hints that you would love for them to come to your house. Because I also get it if you have like kids that are napping, it's easier for them to come to your house in a way. But maybe you just tell them that. like Yeah. Or have your husband tell them if you don't feel comfortable doing was that. it specifically in-laws?
00:48:30
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. I was going say, like, I also think you could just ask, like, a lot of times maybe they don't know if, like, feel comfortable with being like, hey, can we come to your house? And so maybe just saying, like, hey, like, we're going, we want to go on this date, on this specific date, like, get it far enough out where they can make a plan around it. Would you be willing to come, like, watch the kids or come to our house? And I think, like, that's.
00:48:51
Speaker
probably the best way is like asking directly and even like it's kind of nerve-wracking if you're the in-law but who cares that's how you make your husband do it yeah or you can do it like I honestly like to be like if someone was reaching out to me and I was the mother-in-law I'd be like that's sweet like I can tell she wants me to be around with the kids you know and Yeah, if it's a situation where they're watching them, like say you're going on a trip and you want them to watch them at your house, again, messes, but I was talking to my mom about this the other day. I was like, would you ever come stay at our house? And she was like, that was for like a couple of days. And she's like, but I feel more comfortable at my house. And I'm not calling your in-laws old and I'm not calling my mom old, but older people like their space. Like they like being in their own space.
00:49:28
Speaker
So maybe just give them the benefit of the doubt a little bit. It's also hard with this because we don't have ton of context of like yeah how far their in-laws live. But I don't know. Try those little things and let us know if it works. Yeah. Okay. The next one says, how the hell are you getting out of the house solo with three kids and not having anxiety attacks?
00:49:44
Speaker
Systems. Systems. I do. have anxiety attacks. I do have anxiety, but I do think... How I am getting out of the house at Truly Systems. Like, having everything in a diaper caddy. Snacks, drinks, water bottles, diapers, wipes, extra change of clothes.
00:50:01
Speaker
So, I'm not packing that every day. Because that's one of the hardest parts of getting out. The more you do it, the easier it gets. The more you do it, the easier it gets. And, like, also, you kind of, like, don't care so much about certain things. Like, maybe their hair is not done.
00:50:14
Speaker
Maybe they just peed and you're not going to change their wet diaper and you'll change when to get home. You know what mean? i think just, like... You get yeah used to it and then it's a little easier. Yeah. I feel like doing it when they're young too. like I remember after I had my third, I was like, I just need to get them all out of the house to prove to myself that I can do it.
00:50:30
Speaker
And I just took them – I got them all in the car and I took them down to a park down the street that like we had to drive to. And I felt so accomplished. I was like, I did it. took all three kids out of the house and we all survived.
00:50:43
Speaker
And just having that little confidence boost that I did it – helps me keep doing it. Yeah. makes sense It's really hard though. There's days that I was like, oh my gosh, why did I get them out of the house? That was really bad. Or yeah there's days where I'm at Target and they're all screaming and I'm like, why didn't we just stay home? And then there's days where we're out and I'm like, this is great. This is great. awesome so It's not, we're going to be like it like perfect days all the time, but I do think it so Don't let let one bad day taint you because sometimes they can be a lot easier a different day.
00:51:10
Speaker
And like the hardest part is actually getting out the door. And it is very hard. like Another practical tip is I'll go buckle everybody and then like go in and grab all the extra stuff. Because then I know they're safe, they're buckled, they're, you know...
00:51:25
Speaker
Waiting. It's obviously if it's like freezing cold, I'll like turn the car on or whatever. can't make sure they're safe and everything. like but like So i buckle them and then I go inside and I do my full skincare routine. That I don't have.
00:51:36
Speaker
you know You don't have a skincare routine. Can we talk about how you're so lucky? put sunscreen on. Oh my gosh. I can't. I have face wash in my shower.
00:51:48
Speaker
I can't. I have like a 10 step routine and I'm still breaking out. You don't have a single breakout and you don't need to wear actually don't have a day right here. No, ah I don't believe you. Okay. This last one's funny. it says, how do y'all organize all these little baby pants? I had them in a bucket on the changing table, but now it's overflowing. And what the heck with all these toys people give that I didn't ask for? i thankful, but dang, I ain't got no room.
00:52:09
Speaker
I'll do the toys one because actually have good advice. Okay. I honestly just tell people not to get me those toys. I'm like, the people that I feel comfortable with, I'll just tell them like, I am trying to do a more Montessori style toys or something like that. So, like, please do, like, books or, like, especially, like, grandparents and stuff because I feel like they're easier to... that still works, with your kids getting older?
00:52:30
Speaker
Because I feel like that worked when my kids were a little. But now that my kids have needs and wants and they tell their grandparents, like, I want this... I don't know if my kids are quite there yet. Like, I think they have, like, ideas of things they want. But if it's, like, little Trinkety toys, I'll let them play with it for a little bit and then it's gone.
00:52:45
Speaker
feel like can't my situation. I go through a toys, like, birthdays, Christmases, and, like, they have to take, like, a good percentage of them and we donate them. just sit to We get too many. Like, and we get a car every time I go to Smith's or whatever, and it just ends up being way too much. Yeah.
00:53:02
Speaker
For your own sanity, another, like, easiest system as well is, like, put some bins and put them away. like, just don't have all the toys out at once and rotate your toys out because then they get new toys to play with and then you're not picking up. My kids love to dump the toys for whatever reason.
00:53:18
Speaker
And so i like, don't like having a million toys and they just all get dumped. So we just redid our playroom and we got rid of probably 95% of our toys. And i have bins that are labeled and they're Barbies, cars.
00:53:33
Speaker
little action figures and then there's one other thing dress-ups yeah if they don't fit into those bins they're probably not gonna last i will say my five-year-old has very specific she loves cats what she loves fairies i have not heard of any of this what no she loves cats and fairies so random i hate cats i literally hate cats you love fairies I don't, I'm indifferent about fairies, but my mother-in-law for, I love you, i love you so much if you listen to this, but she got Elsie like a cat that meows and sings and purrs and vibrates for her birthday last week.
00:54:08
Speaker
Oh, that actually is really nice. It's so nice. And that's the thing is I feel like I used to be able to tell people like, hey, like I don't really like this kind toys. But now that my daughter Elsie is older, i feel like she's asking for the cat for that kind of stuff and she's obsessed.
00:54:23
Speaker
So like, yes, tell them not to get it. But I also feel like it's so fun for a grandma to like get something the mom would never get. What I ever, you couldn't, no, I would never buy something like that. Yeah, that's a good point.
00:54:34
Speaker
I feel like sometimes you kind of have to let go a little bit. Agreed. Yeah. So she keeps a couple of you like the cat now? No. Do I like it? She was at our Maddie's house today. Sounds entertaining. No, she was at our friend Maddie's house today and she's like, this cat is hilarious. and I'm like, the amount of times I've almost thrown that out the window. Oh, did she bring it for show and tell?
00:54:51
Speaker
Oh, she brought it for show and tell. She brings it everywhere. Like all a sudden we're in the car and I hear this like meow, meow, meow, meow. I'm like, I can't. But do you know what? It's better than a real cat. Yeah, it's better than a tablet. um Baby pants.
00:55:03
Speaker
I also do the bucket system with baby pants. I get little organizers and I don't fold them. Mm-hmm. Just throw them in. I just throw them in. I fold their clothes when they get older, which honestly probably shouldn't do because they just mess it up anyway. And I tried the system.
00:55:16
Speaker
You know, like, my OCD is – and when I say OCD, I let – you guys, have, like, clinical OCD. I'm not just like, oh, it's OCD. i have to have it a certain way. I, like, have been treated for it most of my life.
00:55:27
Speaker
um But what was I going with that? Oh, I tried the system where we don't fold kids' clothes. I, like, saw on TikTok, like, this girl was like, I save so much time as a mom not folding clothes. Did work? I tried it for one day and I had a full mental breakdown. Because I just like took the clean clothes, put them in their drawers and i was like, I can't, I can't do it. And my husband was like, that was amazing. We didn't have to fold laundry. And i was like, I can't do it I feel like it would only work for me if I had enough drawer space because I would want everything like separate.
00:55:53
Speaker
Yeah. Like I wouldn't want like anything in the same drawer and I just don't feel like i have enough space for that. But the baby pants, look up folding TikTok videos. Those, oh, if I can't fall asleep, I look up folding or organizing videos. Look up how to fold baby pants on TikTok.
00:56:06
Speaker
Boring. I actually do love cleaning videos. But I don't like baby pants, by the way. This is what I was going to say. I don't keep baby pants because I don't ever use them. I never use the onesies. I never use the baby pants. I do the zip-ups. They're just so much more convenient. And like when they're little, they don't like their bellies are going to show up They have baby pants on them if you don't do a little thing. So I'm just like, I don't do it. I wait until they're old enough to wear like jeans.
00:56:32
Speaker
Or like, I'll do leggings once they're old enough, but not when they're babies. Like, probably like at least 12 months plus. That would make sense. Yeah. So just no baby pants. Get rid of them. Becca's solution to this is no baby pants and no toys.
00:56:44
Speaker
Oh, I seem like the mom.
00:56:50
Speaker
No, the I throw everything away. My kids know this about me. And so anytime they can't find anything, they're like, mom probably threw I can't deal with the little Lego pieces everywhere. I'm like, I just, if I find them, I'm like, they're gone.
00:57:02
Speaker
They are gone. You got the Barbie dream house for Christmas and it came with a million, like a million little things, like a toothbrush. Why do they come with those? Literally this big. I'm like, first of all, choking hazard. Second of all. Yeah. Choking hazard.
00:57:14
Speaker
Yeah.
Decluttering and Minimalism
00:57:15
Speaker
I'm like, I threw it away because it was choking hazard. Exactly. Then my kids are at that age and you, oh no, kids still choke.
00:57:23
Speaker
You're getting delirious. Time to cut. No, I agree. And, like, Jack is old enough where he can, like, get little things and get toys in his mouth. But I also ah just – I don't like extra stuff, so I do throw it away, which is not great me. Did you see that girl that's going viral on TikTok for, like, basically telling people that they're gross and they need to organize and declutter?
00:57:41
Speaker
Oh, because people hate her? No. People love her. Oh. I thought they would hate her because she's not being sustainable. No, she's saying, like, live with less clutter and, like, don't buy so many things.
00:57:53
Speaker
oh But i was like,
Importance of Making Beds
00:57:55
Speaker
so she'll start off her videos. We'll post one. But she's like, it's not that hard to be clean. Like, all I need to do is do this. And she's like, get off your butt. Do this.
00:58:04
Speaker
but Make your bed every day. And she's just is like trying to motivate people, but kind of in like a aggressive way. aggressive way okay And I was watching one of the TikToks and Camden goes, Haley, keep scrolling. That's not for you. Yeah.
00:58:15
Speaker
He's like, you're already doing this. He's like, um actually, have a... you make your bed every day? Yes. Same. But i didn't realize that most people don't. I make all my kids' beds multiple times a day. I make my kids' beds in the morning even though they take naps later.
00:58:29
Speaker
See, I don't make the kids' beds. No way. We have to.
Casual Farewell and Sponsorship
00:58:33
Speaker
Also, my kids don't sleep in a blanket folded up on them like this. like They're not like sleeping like a normal adult does. They like lay you all over the bed. you know.
00:58:42
Speaker
I tuck in my kids' to vase every single day. I'm crazy and she's a whole nother level of crazy. Better help if you want to sponsor us.
00:58:52
Speaker
Yeah. We're working on it. Okay. Okay. Well, see you guys. Have a great night. Peace and love. Peace and love. Peace, love and blessings. Yep. Can't believe if it's already 10.