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surviving the first trimester, 4th times a charm
131 Plays6 months ago
The first trimester is a wild ride, and going through it for the fourth time comes with its own surprises. In this episode, Hailey is sharing the real, unfiltered truth about what it’s been like so far. From the symptoms that hit hard to the small things that are actually helping! Whether you’re brand new to pregnancy or deep in the journey, come hang out with me for some honest talk, a few laughs, and a reminder that you’re not alone.
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Transcript
Introduction to Park Moms Podcast
00:00:00
Speaker
Hi, welcome to the Park Moms podcast, we're your hosts Haley and Becca. This is the place where we laugh and chat about the chaotic bliss of raising young kids. So whether you're about to take a hot mom walk or start a little laundry, let's get to yapping. Let's get to it.
Haley's Pregnancy Journey
00:00:12
Speaker
Hello. I'm so glad the secret is finally out. Yeah, how does it feel? So good. So if you didn't see on our Instagram, I am 14 weeks pregnant today. oh my gosh, wow.
00:00:23
Speaker
I know. It feels like a lifetime, but also a short amount of time. But there were so many times on the podcast where like I would start to say something or you would ask me a question and I would seriously like have to like stop myself from... couldn't answer. I couldn't answer. like I think you asked me...
00:00:39
Speaker
something about coffee the other day and that's been one of my biggest food aversions this time around and I like was gonna be like I hate it right now but I couldn't say that so i am just first all so happy to be out of the first trimester yeah and also just happy to be able to talk about it When you post it, did anyone say like, I knew it.
00:00:59
Speaker
No, because I feel like I actually, I'm one of those people that if you see me and I'm pregnant, I will tell you. Yeah. Because I feel so terrible that I'm just like, I can't hold it in.
00:01:11
Speaker
I'm like, I'm sorry. I'm actually not trying to be rude. I'm just pregnant. Yeah. I'm pregnant. Yes. And so um i feel like most people knew. Yeah. But I also didn't. make it a point to, like, text or call people. I don't know. It's the fourth time around.
00:01:26
Speaker
Yeah, I feel like it's, like, kind of unexpected because we can get into this, but... I was done, and so I feel like that was the only reason i was unexpected is because I was done with three, and here I am, fourth times around or times' a charm, like you said. Fourth times a charm. That's what Becca texted me today.
00:01:43
Speaker
But I'm just so happy that I'm not in the first trimester. Yes. It was rough.
Solo Parenting Experiences
00:01:49
Speaker
And our whole episode, we're going to be talking about how how her first trimester went, dropping about the pregnancy news.
00:01:55
Speaker
You did give me an idea as you were just talking. We should like make sure to just say, I'm pregnant. Don't bother me. No, seriously. like i'm I'm not a bitch. I'm just pregnant. Especially when you're first trimester because it's the worst trimester and people don't even know. I know.
00:02:08
Speaker
Yeah. I'm like pretty open about telling people. Before we get into my whole pregnancy thing, though, I want to know how you're doing because you're on day what of solo parenting? We were both solo parenting this week. Yeah, we both solo parented this week. Sam came home last night, so it was only... This one was like a Monday through a midday Wednesday. So it actually wasn't terrible. But still. But okay, here's where I felt like crazy busy. Also like guilt is um I had babysitters both nights he was gone.
00:02:32
Speaker
Because I had to get my hair done. On Monday. It was nice, but also it was like kind of annoying because normally he'd be home and I wouldn't be like. You wouldn't have pay someone. Paying. My mom came the first night though, that was awesome. Okay.
00:02:44
Speaker
Because it's so nice not to have to pay. And hair just takes such a long time. Such a long time. Especially my hair. Like I feel like it always takes forever. So anyway, so my mom came. that was great on Monday. And then I had a good babysitter Tuesday night because we were saying bye to our friend.
00:02:57
Speaker
Yeah. mean Our friend Lindsay is moving. And we're so sad about it. But same thing, I had to pay babysitter and was like, dang, that was an expensive night. Yeah. Because my husband was
Friendship and Support
00:03:05
Speaker
also out of town. He gets home tonight in probably about an hour.
00:03:08
Speaker
But so you're doing okay though. Yeah. I feel like it wasn't terrible because it was so but it was just, it's just been busy and then we're going out of town. So busy prepping for that. Also, I want to talk about our cute friend that's moving. Like it's actually so sad when friends move.
00:03:21
Speaker
I know. I feel lucky because she's actually my cousin. Well, she's married to my cousin. So she's my family. So she stuck with me forever. But it's hard when you make these like lifelong friends yeah in this stage of motherhood and then someone moves.
00:03:36
Speaker
It was so cute too. One of our other friends had the idea like bring your favorite memory and like bring pictures. and like we have so many weve how How many years has the friend group like been close? like Six years? Yeah. like When we had our first...
00:03:48
Speaker
Okay, yeah. So probably- We were both pregnant with our first one. We all kind of like met and started hanging out. Okay, so maybe even six and half years. Yeah. and Anyways, and then, there was like so many memories of like, oh my gosh, it's crazy how much we've done together. Yeah, yeah. And like experienced and- And the years have gone by so fast because we've been having kids. Yes, and like all of our kids are friends and it's actually kind of crazy to think like none of us had kids before we met and now we all have like, between all of us, many. There's a lot of kids between. I can't even add them all up, but there's a lot.
00:04:14
Speaker
Yeah. It's fun though. We have this friend group and we all like- We all actually kind of met through our husbands, but then we, the girls, like, became super close. And then we all go to the gym together. we like, have, like, little girls' nights. And so it's really sad to have her move. I know. But she'll be back.
00:04:28
Speaker
Yeah. We love you, Lindsay. Yeah. um Okay. I just have to, like, probably, if I seem tired, it's because I'm absolutely exhausted. Yeah. Because I haven't solo a parented since I've been pregnant. And it' just, like, when you're pregnant,
00:04:40
Speaker
It's a whole nother, it's a nother beast. You're already exhausted. Probably a couple of hours ago. So
Therapeutic Cleaning and Reflections
00:04:46
Speaker
our water heater went out yesterday. So we haven't had, or like two days ago.
00:04:51
Speaker
So we haven't had hot water while my husband's been gone. So finally tonight I called him and I'm, or this afternoon i called him. I'm like, okay, I need, and need hot water. Like I need hot water. The kids need baths. I need to shower. Like and just actually out the shower. It was so nice.
00:05:04
Speaker
But I'm on the phone with him trying to figure out the water heater. He's like, press this button till turns blue. Do this. Like so crazy. And then my five-year-old comes downstairs and she's like, um, there's a problem. i'm like, hold on. I'm like on the phone with him trying to figure this out.
00:05:17
Speaker
I come upstairs. My two-year-old had taken off his diaper And smeared poop from the top stair to the bottom stair. My four-year-old, almost four-year-old, is screaming that she wants a bottle of milk.
00:05:30
Speaker
She doesn't drink bottles of milk. She's screaming at me. My five-year-old is, like, freaking out. I'm trying to get the hot water on. There's poop everywhere. I'm so nauseous. Like, so nauseous. The nausea just, like, came back full force today. And I was seriously, like, I am past my breaking point. yeah Like, it was. What did you do? Did you just scream? Quiet.
00:05:50
Speaker
I just cried and I got out the green machine and I got out the spray and i green machined the stairs for probably an hour and a half. Oh gosh. And then I figured out the water heater and I did feel good about that because it was kind of complicated. Yeah. I'm proud of you for doing that. I will say like when it rains. Women in STEM. Women in STEM.
00:06:08
Speaker
Yeah. When it rains, it pours. No, really, though. I was seriously like, what else? It's like those situations, it has something else has happened and then just piles, piles, piles. And then you're just like crying and everyone's upset. And it's just like... And I swear, i don't know if I'm less tough Or they just like give it to the husbands less. But I think when I'm solo parenting, my kids act worse than they do for my husband.
00:06:32
Speaker
I swear, like I'm not being dramatic. I feel like that kind of stuff doesn't happen to him. Really? Yes. Yeah. Or maybe he just doesn't complain as much. It's hard to say, but this would be my assumption, is that I notice I keep the kids on pretty strict schedules. I feel like my husband just likes to have fun and enjoy the time with them, and so I do feel like they actually have more fun with him. Yeah. No, I'm keeping the house clean while he's gone. I'm keeping up on laundry. He's coming home to a clean house, fresh banana bread.
00:07:03
Speaker
but Laundry is all caught up. Every room is so clean. Everything's vacuumed. You're putting that on yourself. That's too much. I know. That's too much. And I think it's just like my way of feeling prepared for like him to come home. Yeah. Because he doesn't care.
00:07:16
Speaker
But he like cleans when you come home too, right? I feel like- He cleans right before I get home, but like while I'm gone. And it's just because I like having a clean house. Yeah. like I just feel calmer. Same. feel less sick.
00:07:27
Speaker
Like, no, he just like lets it go. And I'm like, I need to be more like that. Maybe with four kids. Yeah. i I say that with every kid that I'll be more chill and then I just get worse. I do feel like our husbands are good. Like they both like clean. Like we went on a when we lunch trip. They both had like the house clean when we came home. We're like amazing. Yeah, amazing. ah Do I know something funny? My life update? Yeah.
00:07:44
Speaker
Do I like cleaning now? That's what I wrote as my as my reminder. Yeah. I say I'm actually that's my husband
Pregnancy Advice and Challenges
00:07:50
Speaker
he took ah the kids to think he took them like oh yeah just camping overnight and um I had just with my little baby with me Jack and I like deep cleaned while he was gone and I was like wait why is this actually so fun it is so therapeutic right like cleaning sex but like why why I'm actually gonna love it no especially when you have the freedom to clean and just focus on cleaning and you can actually get into it like there is a science behind that it is therapeutic I swear
00:08:17
Speaker
It is. like And I was doing like the deep clean, wiping down the cabinets, wiping down the stove, put a candle on. I'm like, man, – know I'm in a bad place when I get my steam cleaner out. I do love my steam cleaner though.
00:08:30
Speaker
But it does take a little effort to take out. So yeah. Yeah. No, but like that's what I'm serious. Yeah, you're breaking point that point. Camden's like, crap. A clean house, like it's so satisfying. It's a reset. It's also I think like both of us are pretty motivated by being productive and I feel like it's a way for you to like get satisfied from Well, and I do think too when you're a mom, there's so many things that you're doing throughout the day that aren't measurable.
00:08:50
Speaker
Like you're just like grabbing people's snacks, changing diapers, yeah controlling tantrums. And it just feels like you're in this cycle like nothing's getting done, but you're doing a million things at once. For me, cleaning feels like i can look at a room and be like, that was dirty. Now it's clean. I feel accomplished. exactly Whereas like when you're a mom, it's kind of a thankless job.
00:09:07
Speaker
But the end of the day, like I just did this. Put my kids down, took a shower. My house is clean. Yep. It's a breath of fresh air. You can take a breath. Yes. Okay, this is so random. This is my other life advice.
00:09:19
Speaker
Do you ever get deja vu? All the time. Do you have, like, any scenarios that you, like, always... No, no, they're always so... They're not the same. But I get deja vu all the time. Like, I've been here before. Yeah. Yeah.
00:09:30
Speaker
Okay, i I feel like the other day I was getting deja vu, and it was so specific, and I'm like, this... Has this happened to me before? The kids were outside eating mangoes. And, like, mangoes is part of the deja vu. Okay. Literally fruit mango, which I don't eat that much. So I'm like, okay. Frozen mangoes, fresh mangoes? This fresh mangoes. Okay.
00:09:49
Speaker
And listening to Justin Bieber. And I'm like, it was, like, such a feeling of, like, I have been here, like, not only once, but many times have I sat on the backyard, ate mangoes, and listened to Justin Bieber. Interesting. And it was, like, a specific spot I was in and everything. And I'm like, it is such a trip.
00:10:04
Speaker
I love that your boys know – songs already of the new album. I was just teaching them I actually like, it's grown on me. At first I wasn't like a hundred on it and now I'm like, oh wait, I'm actually like those songs more than I realized.
00:10:17
Speaker
It takes a minute for sure. so like I love Daisies. What's the other one I love? The one that's in my head. Oh, wait. What's hard is listening to the album because he has a lot of weird snippets of, like, behind-the-scenes stuff. Yeah.
00:10:29
Speaker
And so I feel like I need to go, like, like all the songs that I like and really just, like, listen to those because it was kind of, like, throwing me off. So like i if I see some of them on TikTok, like, on Reels, then I'm like, ooh, yeah, this is catchy. Like, I'm liking this more and more. For sure.
00:10:41
Speaker
um Okay, I was actually going to talk about – i don Maybe I'll talk about this next but next time, but Jack is turning one on Monday, so I'll talk about his birth. Just talk about it. Okay. I'll talk about like his actual birthday. We're not doing anything too crazy because we'll be out of town, but I really feel like this year has been just like a year of wearing Jack. like That's how I like would describe it, like more so than any of my other babies, and I think it's just because it's my third. like yeah I have worn him so much. Yeah. Well, and you had the Art Pop. You didn't have the Art of Pop with your other two. No, but I had something similar.
00:11:15
Speaker
But it's just like he's always been on me. And like I have all – I'm in a document and do like a post about it because it's like I have so many photos of me just like holding and wearing him. Yeah. And it's just kind of sad. I was putting away all – I did a little reset of cleaning and put away all his clothes and like sent stuff to d put away the older boy's clothes. And and I even even went crazy and washed their shoes.
00:11:36
Speaker
Yeah. I was really feeling wild. Yeah, were getting deep. Do you let your kids, or do you wash your kids' shoes in your washer? Yeah, all the time. I'm like, is that like, no, are you not supposed to do that? No, I do They look so much better.
00:11:49
Speaker
like, they look fresh. That's like one of the reasons I love Crocs is you can literally just throw them in the washing machine. but But if you dry them, They will shrink until like I've had it come out before. Like one is like tiny and the other one is its normal size. So don't dry them. Do you dry any of your shoes?
00:12:06
Speaker
I just air dry them. No, i just air dry them. But like if one got caught accidentally in something and then it ends up in the dryer, it will literally shrink. Oh my gosh. It's like one of those shrink-a-dink things. All plastic fanatics are freaking out at you right now. I know. I'm actually ready. Our friend Maddie said this, but i am ready for the Crocs season to be over.
00:12:21
Speaker
They get so nasty by the end of summer. Like, I love Crocs for summer for kids. They're gross. They're gross. They're nice, but they're gross. Yeah. um But yes, wash all the shoes, reorganize the closet. It was just, like, so nostalgic. One, bringing out my older kids' clothes for him and be like, oh, now he's going to wear all these, like, one-year-old outfits.
00:12:40
Speaker
And then I think just, like – I know I've talked about this. stopped breastfeeding. i'm like I feel like he doesn't want to be held as much now. And it's just like, end of the day. The baby phase is like kind of over. It is. And it's sad. and It is sad.
00:12:52
Speaker
I'll update you guys on his birthday next time, too. Oh, baby Jack. He'll always be baby Jack, though. Any other life updates for you before we get into the pregnancy? Honestly, no. My life update is that I'm pregnant.
00:13:04
Speaker
Okay. but it right i have a lot of deep questions we're gonna yeah we're gonna go deep today i also have some thoughts of just like things i would tell firsttime pregnant moms to be prepared for okay like yeah should we start there okay yeah obviously my fourth time being yeah actually my fifth time being pregnant because i had an nextctopic pregnancy which i don't know if i've ever mentioned on the podcast Which I wouldn't count that as a pregnancy, but it's so interesting when you go the doctor, they actually count that as a pregnancy. Oh, so it says you're – says I've been pregnant five times, which is like a crazy number. Yes.
00:13:35
Speaker
A crazy number. but We'll have to talk about that ah in another episode, but that was a wild, it was a very emotional, heavy time. Yeah, it really was. Because, I mean, not to get too deep, but I'm sure we've had a lot of listeners that have either had miscarriages or infertility. The hormone spikes and dips that happen when you go through a miscarriage are crazy.
00:13:53
Speaker
crazy like yeah I can't remember the specifics but I truly felt it so strong I've never felt so like mentally unstable than when I went through that because your hormones just like dip so suddenly when you have miscarriage anyways okay these are a few things that i would tell first time pregnant mom and this isn't for everyone but I feel like this is stuff that I just wish I would have known stopping you right there. I also think like when you're in the thick of it, you forget how bad you need this advice. Oh, 100%. And literally asking every friend like, what do you do first trimester?
00:14:24
Speaker
This is my fourth time and I'm like, I forgot how bad this was. Yep, you forget. And I don't want to say, if I'm talking negatively about my pregnancy at all, I want to say like, I'm so grateful that I can get pregnant. yeah We have so many dear friends that like struggle with infertility and that have to do fertility treatments and I wish so badly that I could just like take that from them. Because Just like it's really hard to see your friend struggle with that when you love them so much and you know how much, how badly they want it.
00:14:50
Speaker
So if I'm talking negatively about the pregnancy, I just want to say like, I am so grateful to be pregnant and that I can get pregnant. But that doesn't mean that like pregnancy and being sick. It's hard. And the hormones and the depression and all that stuff like is, it's still hard. Yep. It's still hard.
00:15:06
Speaker
But I am very grateful that I'm pregnant. I'm really excited for this baby. But these are a few things that I wish I knew that I found out the first time and that they've kind of been consistent every time. First thing. If you are pregnant for the first time, you need to break up with everything that you love.
00:15:21
Speaker
Yeah. Your favorite foods, your favorite scents. If you have a favorite, like, shampoo and conditioner that you swear by you need to break up with it for nine months. Because all of those things, especially if you are sick and nauseous during your pregnancies like I am. Like, I am sick from – pretty much sick the whole nine months, but it's really bad in the first trimester.
00:15:39
Speaker
You will never want – to do to use those things again. Like the smell is triggering. The smell is triggering when you smell it. There are shows that I watch during my first pregnancy that I can't watch yeahp because they make me feel nauseous. yeah So like if you have a favorite perfume that's like your signature, just like put it in a drawer and say, I'll see you in nine months because you just like, there's even clothes that like I wore when I was pregnant the first time that were like clothes I loved.
00:16:06
Speaker
Had to throw him away afterwards. Like I have to get a full new wardrobe and we can get into maternity clothing because I feel like that's a whole nother. I feel like those things literally make you feel like you're going throw Oh, 100%. 100%. Okay. That's the first thing.
00:16:17
Speaker
The second thing, wait, I had it in my head. Second thing is that you forget everything you're going to say. The second thing is more for people. I would say this is for like spouses or people that are around someone who's sick and pregnant It is not just nausea like when you have the flu like you're hit with nausea and then you throw up and you feel better. Yeah. There are so many times that I wish I could throw up to get some relief.
00:16:41
Speaker
Most of the time you're just so nauseous. I would explain it as being like car sick, sick, and hungover all at the same time. But you can't throw up and get relief. Like there's so many times where I'm literally like gagging, yeah dry heaving to like try to throw up. Yes. And I can't.
00:16:55
Speaker
Yeah. I can't. So like – If a pregnant woman seems like she's being dramatic from the nausea, I will tell you it truly is so terrible. It really It is like having the flu for nine months, but I would say even worse.
00:17:09
Speaker
feel like it's the taste in your mouth. Yes. the heartburn. It's the nausea. It's just like everything is compiling. And you're exhausted. Okay, since we're already here, what would you say um from...
00:17:21
Speaker
Like being nauseous. Like how would you – like what are some things that have helped you feel better? Oh, my gosh. I swear I've tried everything with my pregnancies. And I do feel like this time i found some things that took the edge off. Okay.
00:17:32
Speaker
And they're so random. Like full discretion, they are so random. And I kind of hated when people would tell me to try things before because it felt like I tried everything. But yeah I really have tried everything. I've tried like the wrist pressure bands. I've tried all the different kinds of medication. like – like Literally,
Pregnancy Cravings and Preparations
00:17:50
Speaker
if you've seen it or heard of it, I've probably tried it, but these are the things that helped you at this time.
00:17:54
Speaker
This is something I didn't do with the last three pregnancies. it was getting protein in in the morning because the thought of any sort of protein, eggs, meat, chicken, chicken even like protein powder...
00:18:07
Speaker
Made me feel so nauseous. Like I couldn't even think about them. But it's true that when you get protein in, in the morning, it does help settle your stomach. So Chobani makes these like drinkable yogurt proteins. Yogurt is like such good pregnancy food. Yeah, it's like these protein yogurts.
00:18:22
Speaker
Not that bad for a lot. No, but these ones are even better. They're more mild. Oh, nice. And so I would drink these first thing in the morning when I took my anti-nausea medicine and it would help just like take the edge off in the morning. Another thing that helped that you told me about were those peppermint beads. Oh, yeah. i swear. We'll post links to all of this. They're the the doTERRA brand on... You can just buy them on Amazon. I'm sure you can buy them from doTERRA, too.
00:18:45
Speaker
And I think they really help with, like, the taste in the mouth. They also settle your stomach. But, like, I just hated the taste of it. I can think of it. You have right now. No, it's so bad. Yeah, that's why keep drinking water.
00:18:56
Speaker
like but But those helped a ton. Grooms. Oh, yeah. Which I didn't know your sister worked for Grooms. Yeah. That's so fun. Hi, Sarah. When I posted about it, she DMed me. Is this her first shout out in the podcast? She always listens. Oh, she's the best.
00:19:09
Speaker
But um yeah, so Grooms. So I'm taking Zofran. And if you know, you know about Zofran. It is so constipating, which can make you feel more sick. But for me, it's the only medication that works during the first trimester.
00:19:20
Speaker
And Grooms just, like, helps you keep your metabolism going strong. Those helped a ton. Amazing. And then the Parallel... Do they taste they taste good, too?
00:19:30
Speaker
They taste just like gummies. Yeah. Like, green gummies. Yeah. um The Parallel, it's a new, like, prenatal. They actually have, like... A postnatal, a prenatal, like they have all different phases. But what's really cool about them is they were founded by OBGYN, like a women OBGYN.
00:19:47
Speaker
And they have different formulations for each trimester. Oh. So the first trimester ones are anti-nausea blend, which I've never been able to stomach a prenatal. And I feel like it's really taken a toll on – my mom told me this once that like – Because I could never take a prenatal the other three. She was like, it really doesn't affect the baby as much. It more affects like your health and like the toll it's taking on your body.
00:20:09
Speaker
so I really wanted to take a prenatal this time and it's the only one I can stomach. That's amazing. so Yeah, I remember always taking my prenatal and then just puking it up. Yeah. Because it's the only one. So parallel, seriously, swear by it.
00:20:21
Speaker
Love that prenatal. If you can't keep another one down, that is the one that you should try because it never made me sick. Amazing. um What else? Was there something else I told you? I feel like just thinking back to my pregnancies, one thing is like drinking a lot of water. It's the worst because you don't feel like drinking water. But like if you – you know, I swear by relight, but like any electrolyte you can add to your water. I did a lot of relight.
00:20:42
Speaker
To like – I think like drinking like two – Hydro jugs a day is like super, super helpful. Well, the problem is that i I loved the Relay. and then now that I'm feeling a little bit better, drinking it does make me nauseous. because i But I knew it was important to like stay hydrated when I was so sick.
00:20:57
Speaker
Yeah, you could take a break from it like switch up the flavor something maybe. Yeah, that's a But yeah, water was huge for me. Actually, this is so random, but ice roll that I loved an ice roller because I would get like so tired and like really bad headaches. And so that was like something I really liked.
00:21:12
Speaker
um i liked bonjesta that's another like prescribed medication yeah um it's a little bit expensive but i use newer the coupon like uh good rx or whatever and it ended being like 60 bucks a month which i was like not bad when you feel so sick there's so many tics tiktoks and things that i've seen where it's like if men had to deal with like hg which is i'm not even gonna attempt to say it hg is like when you're super sick while pregnant like you're losing weight um But if men had to deal with like pregnancy nausea, I'm not going to call it morning sickness because it is not morning sickness. If it was just the morning, july it really is like rude that they call it morning sickness. i know. It's like for me, I was actually sickest at night. No, I'm sickest at night like right now.
00:21:50
Speaker
So like whenever recording the podcast is what I'm the sickest. So if I seem low energy, that is why. Yeah. But, um, where was I going with that? You were saying TikToks, not like men HD. Oh, if men had to deal with this, it would have been solved a long time ago.
00:22:03
Speaker
I feel like this is like something I think it would be fun is if you've got to choose. Like, okay, it's my turn for pregnancy. You get the next turn. I get the next turn. Like men had to be pregnant? Yeah, you switch off. Oh, I just like think I would make him do it every time.
00:22:15
Speaker
Yeah. But no. Okay. Should we get – so those are just some things like if you're pregnant for the first time and hopefully that doesn't happen to you. Hopefully you're not sick. Some people thrive. Some people feel better they ever have.
00:22:28
Speaker
And those people I can't talk to while I'm pregnant because i am pretty down bad. And I feel like I've done an okay job like hiding it on the podcast or even just like hiding it in real life. You also have so much more energy now. So like – I do feel like the first trimester is very hard.
00:22:46
Speaker
was pure survival for a while there. And sometimes for me, like, it's, like, even, like, 16, 18 weeks. I'm kind not feeling, like, I'm feeling a lot better. Yeah. And it's still not great, but it's significantly better. Yes. So just know there is some light at the end of the tunnel. I know.
00:23:00
Speaker
I know. Today was rough, but, like, I had a couple days ago that i was like, I actually don't feel nauseous right now a good It's the when you have a good day. You're like, what is this? I'm getting my pink back now. It'll be still a while for that.
00:23:12
Speaker
Any more tips for that? No. um If I think of any, ah I'll mention them. But those are just like, yeah, break up with your things. And if you are, yeah, it's not normal nausea.
00:23:24
Speaker
It's like a whole other level. Yeah. So give yourself grace with that. Yeah. Give yourself grace. i Okay. What was your first initial feeling when you found out you were pregnant?
00:23:37
Speaker
um Shock. Shock. Again, so grateful to be pregnant. but I was not planning on getting pregnant. This was such a happy surprise, but I, the the line I posted the video on like TikTok and Instagram was so faint.
00:23:51
Speaker
Yeah. But a faint line is a line. Like I loved the comments that were like, my faint line is 11 now, or like faint, I just picked up my faint line from soccer. Like it's so true. And then Camden in the video, my husband is like, no, like that's not a real line. And everyone's like, not him mansplaining to you about the pregnancy test when it's so obviously positive. The hate that Camden gets online is hilarious. No, not.
00:24:12
Speaker
Because he's like such a golden retriever, but the videos I post just like people attack him. But we were in California on a like family trip. Yeah. And it was Mother's Day. Yeah. And I was like, how funny would it be if I took a pregnancy test on Mother's Day? for What made you take the pregnancy test?
00:24:28
Speaker
I, it was, well, you get into it, but the one time we had unprotected sex in two years, the one time. In over two years. my gosh. So it was just once. we're like kind of jokingly. I was like, okay. But I was tracking using the app Flow.
00:24:44
Speaker
think that's what it's called. And it said like low chance of getting pregnant, all this stuff. So I was like, no, there's no way. So like this baby was truly meant to be here. Yeah. And I know when the baby's born, which I don't know what it is. I'm not finding out.
00:24:55
Speaker
Amazing. I can't believe you're doing that. I could never. It's so not like me. But I'm like, you know, fourth time ago, switch it up. But yeah. So I – I don't know. just had a feeling. Yeah. I just had a feeling. So I went and bought a test.
00:25:08
Speaker
The faint line is crazy. That happened to me with two of my kids. Yes. And then I like took a test three days later and it was like no longer a faint line. But I think it took me a while to be excited because I really was done with three.
00:25:21
Speaker
Yeah. Like three, I was like good. i felt like myself for the first time since having kids. Like I do struggle mentally when I'm pregnant. And I think if you're someone who already struggles with any sort of depression or anxiety,
00:25:35
Speaker
Pregnancy and postpartum can kind of just heighten it. Yeah. And for me, that was like that's definitely the case. like When I'm pregnant, my anxiety and depression gets worse. Yeah. And that was a big reason that I wasn't going to do it again because I have three little kids and I was like, I don't feel like I can adequately take care of them.
00:25:52
Speaker
And be pregnant again. Yeah. But here we are. We're doing it. So honestly, my first initial reaction was like, crap. Yeah. Like, how do I be a good mom to the kids that I have and be struggling?
00:26:04
Speaker
Yeah. And luckily, Camden was so... positive about it but like it took me a second to get excited and like come to the reality to realize that like I was doing this again yeah like when I was giving birth to Graham my two-year-old I remember thinking like this is the last time i have to do this and I'm going to have pregnant again I feel like I'm kind of downplaying like how bad my depression can get during pregnancy but like it's gotten to a point where it has been like kind of scary Of just like, I can't do this anymore. I'm not going to do it again.
00:26:33
Speaker
So honestly, my initial reaction was just like, how am i going to do that? I was worried. yeah I was worried. And luckily i had like such good friends, such a good husband, such a good support system. But it definitely took me a minute to like even feel like there was a baby and not just like a pregnancy and a sickness.
00:26:49
Speaker
Yeah, and I think it's important to acknowledge how difficult it is to be pregnant at all and then also to be pregnant with other kids because your kids still need you, but you can't really show up as a mom that you normally are. No, your patience is thinner. Your patience is
Body Changes and Support During Pregnancy
00:27:03
Speaker
thinner. You don't feel good. You're tired. And, like, at the end of the day, like, you really do have to give yourself grace. and like Yeah.
00:27:09
Speaker
Someone told me this once, and always, like, thought about it when i was pregnant. It's like, you're doing something very, like, selfless for them, too. Like, you're helping them get a sibling. Totally. It is going to be like a hard time. It's such a challenging time. And so like, it's fine if like, you know, your kids are watching more shows or like things, something has to give your house. Isn't always clean, whatever. And that can happen at any time. But I feel like, especially when you're pregnant, you have to like, just know that I really did like have to relinquish a lot of control.
00:27:33
Speaker
Yep. And just like, what were gonna say? Just know that like, it's a phase. but Well, and I just want to say that like, you can't do it all. And like, it's, even though it's a phase, it's very, very long. So it's just gonna be like, it's a sacrifice. That's what I would say. It's a sacrifice for you. It's a sacrifice for your spouse. It's a sacrifice for your kids. Yes.
00:27:51
Speaker
It's just, ah it is a sacrifice. Yeah. No, like Camden's been getting, he's been letting me sleep in and he's been getting up with the kids every morning. Yeah. Like by himself, getting them fed, getting them dressed, getting them ready for the day and letting me sleep in to like the very last moment because he was, he knows that if I like get more sleep, I feel a little bit better.
00:28:09
Speaker
But yeah, it was the trenches for a minute there. The best is my reaction when you tell me because you like, I feel like you're like 100% sure. You're like, I don't think I'm gonna have any more kids. Yeah. When you told me, I'm like, you're lying. Like, I'm like, I know this has to be like an April Fool's joke. Like, and I feel like that's possible. That was like my best friend. Most of my best friend's reaction was because I told them I was done and I never had the strong feeling like you're done.
00:28:33
Speaker
But I was just like, no, like I feel good. Yeah. And so your family felt full. Yeah. My family felt full and I was just like, and I felt good for the first i got my hormones checked. Yes. I was like working out again. I was just like feeling like myself, which I actually think it was a good place to start from.
00:28:50
Speaker
Yep. Like I feel like I've been able to work out this pregnancy and I have never worked out ever during my pregnancies. Yeah. So it was like a good place to start from, but it was definitely just like, Oh my gosh. Like, okay wow. Okay, wait, this is a random question I thought of, but since you're not like finding out the gender, do you guys have like names that you like from previous babies? or We have, no, not from previous babies because we didn't have any more names because we were done.
00:29:14
Speaker
Like I truly, in my mind, closed that chapter. Yeah. But um we have a couple of names that like could be... either gender, and then also it's so funny because the girls this time around, I mean, they're five and four. Girls are obsessed with coming up with names for the baby. Yeah. And they will say the most random names and they'll get really offended if I say I don't like it. so I'm always like, yeah, that sounds great.
00:29:37
Speaker
But her name can be Shirley. that's my That's my grandma's name. Do you like that name? I mean, no. RIP, but like no. It's not a bad name.
00:29:48
Speaker
It's a bad name, but no, it's like Shirley. most random like, I don't even, I'll try to think of something, the most random names. I'm like, yeah, sweetie, that sounds great. Do your names match your current names?
00:29:58
Speaker
I feel like they have to. Yeah. your I feel like your, how I would describe your names is like traditional. Yeah. Like... I like traditional, like, grandma and grandpa names.
00:30:09
Speaker
Yeah. but I thought were saying gram, but then you said grandma. Yeah. So her kids' names are Elsie, Blair, and Gram. So I feel like those are very, like, traditional, classic Yeah, like traditional, classic, but, like, unique, but not too weird. Yeah. No, those are perfect.
00:30:22
Speaker
But and I don't, like, have a set name. it's i
Children's Toys and Episode Wrap-up
00:30:25
Speaker
It's really weird because I feel like all the other pregnancies, i had everything planned out. Like their nurseries were completely done. That's okay though. And now I'm just kind of like going with the flow. Like it a little faster too when you aren't like as planned. Yeah.
00:30:39
Speaker
Yeah. I also just like they'll be here. I have a lot going on. Like having three little kids and being pregnant. you the weeks go by faster but the days are slower yeah so okay next question what's been your pregnancy craving this time around chick-fil-a breakfast 100 percent that makes any sense any chick-fil-a breakfast funny i have another friend who's pregnant right now and she like literally is obsessed with chick-fil-a breakfast so it like is so good though because it's protein and it's like this i went this morning went this morning okay um is there anything that grossed you out this pregnancy that didn't with the others
00:31:13
Speaker
or has anything been grossing you out? Literally everything has been grossing me out. Diet Coke. Really? I usually love Diet eat Coke. The thought of it is so nasty to me. Any sort of caffeine right now has been really hard, which is hard because I'm so tired I need caffeine.
00:31:27
Speaker
That's actually the worst part is like you already you don't feel like yourself and then you can't have like your things that are like your crutches. No. caffeine and treats. Yes. No, I haven't. Oh, treats. Like any sort of treats I can't. I couldn't do sugar and I couldn't do caffeine. And I'm like yeah those are my favorite things. So you'd think that I'd be like losing weight.
00:31:42
Speaker
But no, I'm still doing i'm still doing great. That's good. Okay. um Did your other kids notice before you said anything? um So I accidentally let it slip. I've never had, like, my oldest is five. And yeah so i feel like when I was pregnant two years ago, she was...
00:31:59
Speaker
three. Yeah. She wasn't old enough to know. She wasn't old enough to really understand. And so it's so interesting because this time I think she started to, for the last year, she's been asking me for another baby.
00:32:10
Speaker
And I think that's normal. Like yeah kids will do like, Oh, I want another brother. I want another sister. and I was like, no sweetie, like we're done having kids. And then um I think she heard me kind of slip up a few times and like say something. Oh, she heard me on the phone with my doctor.
00:32:25
Speaker
Yeah, because when she was in the car with us, was just picking her up. She goes, yeah, my mom's going to the baby doctor. Yeah, and she was like, are you having a baby? I'm like, no, I'm just going to like the baby doctor to see if we're going to have another baby.
00:32:37
Speaker
So when we like, we gave them a little gift of like a onesie. And so like right when she opened it, she's like, I'll have to post it. It's so cute. She's like, you're having a baby. Aw. But it's been honestly hard for them. Like my oldest is like, mom like it's hard for them to see me so sick.
00:32:51
Speaker
Yeah. They realize it more. Yes. And like, I don't remember my mom being sick and she was so sick, but like my oldest is like, I don't. but She said, I wish you weren't so sick when you were pregnant. And I was like, me too, girl. Oh, that's sad. I've been noticing that.
00:33:06
Speaker
But yeah. So now that you're like kind of getting prepared for the baby, which you actually say you haven't really prepared anything. But I'm curious, are you excited about like baby clothes and gear? Or you kind of like, let me just use my hand-me-downs? Like, what's your thing is, I gave all the hand-me-downs to my sister what no because I was like, I'm done.
00:33:22
Speaker
But I feel like with every kid I've learned, you don't need as much as you think you do. That is so true. But they're also, with every kid, I feel like things change. Like, it's going to be my fourth, so I just got the maybe carrier. Yeah. Really excited about that.
00:33:35
Speaker
I'm hoping to get the duna. Love the duna. Because I feel like by your fourth, you need that. But funny, after we talked about that, I saw a bunch of people say they hate the Duna. So i I second to what I said last time. Go on TikTok and do your research and hear both sides and then make your decision. Yeah.
00:33:48
Speaker
I know there's some other options, too, but I don't have a stroller. Like, I don't have an infant stroller. So I'm need those. really use a stroller this time. i pretty much used the Duna. the Duna. Yeah. And then I had pull my upper baby out like I was going like, a long, like, two-mile walk. Yeah.
00:34:01
Speaker
But yeah you could even do the do-no with that if you really needed to. Yeah, 100%. But um no, I got a few things, but i mean, I'm not even halfway pregnancy. Okay, what is this team your biggest fear about having four?
00:34:14
Speaker
My biggest fear is that I feel like there's already so many days, like today, yeah where I feel so stretched thin with three. yeah And so my fear is that like I'm not going to be able to give the attention that I want to each kid with four.
00:34:29
Speaker
Four kids feels like a lot of kids. It's funny when you first told me, I started game planning with her. I'm like, no, it's okay. You got this because her oldest will be full time in school. And yeah, yeah. By the time you have the baby and then your second oldest will be half day. And then like pretty much right after, like it's not that much longer after the baby's born, she'll be in full day too.
00:34:48
Speaker
Yeah. So I, the first year is going to be hard. Yeah. And like postpartum can be really hard. I think pregnancy is harder, but postpartum can be hard. But I think I know that, but my biggest fear is just like making sure that I can be a good mom to four kids.
00:35:04
Speaker
Because there's some days where I feel like I'm not even a good mom to three. yeah I understand that. But I also know that like having siblings, like this baby will be such a blessing and like such a fun, like there does having a baby. I think you told me this, like it definitely brings a sense of peace and calm into the home too.
00:35:21
Speaker
feel like too, just like their personality and their spirit when it comes to the home, like there's nothing like it. yeah It is such a special feeling. Okay. That actually it's made to my next question. What are you secretly excited about? Ooh.
00:35:33
Speaker
Like, what's something you're kind like, oh my gosh, you can't wait? That's question. Or have you not let yourself get excited yet? um I'm excited to give birth. Really? yeah I do love giving birth. actually love giving birth, and it is a break from the other kids when you were in the hospital.
00:35:49
Speaker
I know it sounds crazy. Very stressful. I will say, though, I like i love like the experience of actually like having the baby. Yeah. But i hate the anxiety leaving up to it of just like, is everything to be okay? I know.
00:36:01
Speaker
Even just like, am when am i going to have the baby today? Like, I swear, since I just had a baby not that long ago, which now feels like ages ago, I literally remember thinking like every night, am I getting going to go labor tonight? Am I going to go into labor tonight? No, the last few weeks are, well, I mean, we'll be recording the podcast, so I'll update. But like, it is crazy, the anxiety of just like, no, no, like it could be any time.
00:36:22
Speaker
Or, and my second, my second third came very fast. to say, you have your babies early, which is so lucky. Yeah. Don't you have them like. Yeah. Grandma's three and a half weeks early. Yeah. I feel like all your babies have been pretty early. They've all been two or three weeks early. Yeah.
00:36:36
Speaker
I've like gotten induced with all of mine. Like none of mine came early at all. And so it's like you pass your, you're like getting to due date or passing your due date. No, but what's weird about my body is I'll be at like, if you know about like the numbers of like dilation and whatever, I'll be at like a three or or four for three and a half weeks before my,
00:36:52
Speaker
Really? Babies come. Like I'll like stay at that for a long time. And so like pretty much just like in labor living my life. So the past or the last few like weeks are really hard, but it'll be December for me.
00:37:04
Speaker
Which is going to be crazy. That is going to be so wild. It's going to be so crazy. You did an epidural though with every kid so far, right? Yeah. Okay. Someone wrote it and said, do you have any tips for giving natural labor? No, I have so many friends that you could reach out to that have done natural labor. My sister-in-law, my mother-in-law.
00:37:21
Speaker
What I've heard i invite is mentally prepare in advance. Like you can't like just think like the day before, oh yeah, we're going to give natural, like take the hypnobirthing classes, like whatever style you're going do, like take the glasses and stop mentally preparing. And have your spouse prepare. And then that was the second thing I was say is have like your partner. yeah Like there's like positions they can do. And then like the other thing I've heard too is like, if you for sure want to do it, like don't let yourself have the out of like, maybe I'm not going to do it.
00:37:48
Speaker
Yeah. Just like, no, you're going to know you're going to do it and like make your partner like help you to it. Cause it's like, this is what I've heard. It's like when you're getting almost and but to the end, um, like you kind of want to quit. Yeah.
00:37:59
Speaker
And like if you just power through just a little bit, you get there. But also i would have zero judgment if people are quitting cause I'm quitting at the beginning. no We're not quitting. We're not quitting. My biggest advice is before you even make that decision, ask yourself why.
00:38:14
Speaker
Like, do you feel pressured to make that decision? Because like a friend or family member told you it's the way to do it. Like, I feel like if you're going to go with an unmedicated birth. Yeah. It has to be truly what you want. yeah And not pressure from someone else. Yeah.
00:38:29
Speaker
Because I think that's like the, the people I've talked to that have had the best experience with unmedicated birth. It's because they wanted to do it for themselves. Yeah. And you, at the end of the day, you have to have that desire. It's to be hard. Yes.
00:38:40
Speaker
Hard as hell. And I feel like if you're doing it for someone else or to like prove something, that is when it's really easy to be like, screw this. Have you ever considered doing a natural birth? Nope. I actually weirdly have, which probably doesn't surprise you. cute I've considered it. I've never done it, obviously, but I've thought, ooh, it'd be kind of great experience. my epidural didn't kick in until they were sewing me up.
00:39:02
Speaker
Oh my gosh. So I didn't do like a natural birth, but I felt the contractions at the end. How was it? I felt the burning. I felt... terrible, terrible, but i wasn't prepared for it. You're scaring our listener. No, but I wasn't prepared. Yeah.
00:39:16
Speaker
And so I was panicked. Were you moving too? Because I think that makes a big difference. Like it seems like you don't, if you're going natural, like don't lay on the because they were trying to give me an epidural. Walk around and like do the bouncy ball. They were trying to give me the epidural, but my contractions were so bad.
00:39:28
Speaker
I was also throwing up a ton, so I couldn't hold still. And i I wasn't prepared. yeah I just like was not prepared. So I didn't know any of like, and I was panicking. I was like hyperventilating, which makes it worse. And so was like,
00:39:39
Speaker
like Like you said, just be prepared. But we really don't have any advice on that. Yeah. You'll have to ask. TikTok will be a good example for that too. People love it. People love it. And like I can see why. like the people like ah my sister, she does it. So she's told me all about her experiences and they're pretty amazing.
00:39:57
Speaker
I think there is like a feeling of that like probably is unexplainable. like The feeling that you get a have when you deliver. I think like when you deliver. But I feel that way. Either way. ah I don't know. Cause I saw a girl on TikTok recently who I love who did natural. Yeah. And she was like, screw that. I really did not have a good experience. So I just think everyone's different.
00:40:18
Speaker
Everyone's different and you gotta do what's best for you, best with your family. Yeah. And like, it's okay to change your mind too. Totally. like Um, what advice would you give yourself if you're like looking back at your first pregnancy, like,
00:40:30
Speaker
Now that you've done it a few times, like what advice would you go back and like give yourself? I think every time because pregnancy is so long and mentally it is really hard for me. and I didn't know that prenatal depression was a thing yeah until I was with my first and my doctor was like, yeah, I think you have prenatal depression. And I was like, I've never even heard that term before. before And so this has happened with every single pregnancy, even this one, it gets to a point where I'm kind of just in a dark place for so long. I think I'm going to be stuck there forever. Like I'm like, oh, maybe I'll have the baby and still be depressed.
00:41:00
Speaker
And every time i have the baby right away, I'm like, I'm back. I feel better. Like my hormones regulate. Like, I don't know what it is about my specific body yeah and like my brain, but I would tell myself like,
00:41:14
Speaker
Don't be worried. Like you're not going to be stuck feeling this way forever. And sometimes the only way through pregnancy is through it. Something that you helped me do when I was pregnant. So my first pregnancy was like actually fine.
00:41:26
Speaker
Like it wasn't good by any means, but it wasn't bad. Yeah. Then I was really shocked with my second pregnancy, like puking every day. Like it was just so much harder. And then it's gotten. Cause you've had boys every single time. Yeah. i thought it mattered i thought I was having Yeah.
00:41:39
Speaker
um yeah Now I have all boys. i'm just kidding. I actually love having all boys. But I i was like yeah i was hoping so bad as a girl because I'm like, i need this to be explained to me. like yeah How am I feeling this bad? yeah I also had a toddler, so maybe I just like didn't have the mental strength. feel like people try to explain, like, oh, you're feeling more sick for this. It just...
00:41:58
Speaker
Kind of random. It's kind of random. And then my third got worse. All that to say is you like, I could text you and like complain and you would just say Oh my gosh, that sucks. And like, that was so validating. Cause I feel like sometimes when you complain to people, they just want to be like, Oh, we'll do this, do this, do this. And like it was nice to have some like, Oh, I know that sucks. Yeah. Like I'm so sorry. And like, and just telling yourself that it's hard. Like this sucks and it's hard. And like, yes, it's not forever, but it does feel like forever sometimes. And like, yeah.
00:42:26
Speaker
It's okay that it's hard. I felt like I couldn't talk about it with a lot of people because I didn't want people to think I was ungrateful to be pregnant or that I was going to be a bad mom. Yeah. And if you are feeling this way during pregnancy, like that does not correlate to your abilities as a mom. Like you're not going to be a bad mom. And I think that's another thing I would have told myself and during the first one.
00:42:44
Speaker
yeah Because I was so depressed, I was like, oh, I'm not going to be a good mom. Like, I was not built for this. Yeah. Something else you gave me advice, and I feel like you are really good at this too, is like you were like, it's totally fine to like –
00:43:00
Speaker
um I can't be, hybridate. Like, don't text people back. Don't do everything that you normally do. and like if And you told me this, you're like, your friends will be there when you're ready. like yeah Don't feel like you need to text them back right now. like If you have all these obligations, like take it easy. like I remember during work, I would nap every day from 2 to 3.30. I'm like, I probably shouldn't be doing this, but my body just did not have the energy. No, you need it You need it. And it's hard for people like us, too, that I thrive off of like,
00:43:27
Speaker
getting stuff done and yeah consistency and schedules. And it's hard to be like, I can't do any of that. Yeah. And yeah, you have to give yourself grace and your friends will understand. And like, if someone is like, Oh, she's so annoying because she's not coming because she's pregnant.
00:43:42
Speaker
That's on them. Honestly, it's true. Okay. This last one's kind of a funny one. Is there anything and that you kind of love about your body when you're pregnant? Oh, I love a bump out in the summer. It's so cute. I think it's so cute. Like, we have a few friends that are pregnant and, like, a few girls at our gym that are, like, more pregnant right now.
00:44:02
Speaker
Pregnant in a bikini, there's nothing cuter. Or a sports bra and, like, workout pad. Yes, like, so cute. I'm actually little bit bummed that I'm going to be super pregnant in, like, December. Yeah. Because love a bump out.
00:44:14
Speaker
Well, I will say it stays, like, pretty warm here through, like October, though. so you can, like, definitely have the vibes. Bellies out, mamas. out, mamas. right now, I'm just, like, in the awkward, like... You literally can't tell. You can't tell until I'm like, well, we had a big dinner and then you could tell the other night.
00:44:28
Speaker
But I'm in like that awkward stage of pregnancy. But I actually, every single pregnancy, have loved my body more. Yeah. And like felt cute. Like it is really cute. It is cute. And I think like it's nice that your hair hair and nails like really do. My hair has grown ton.
00:44:42
Speaker
was going say, and it also looks very blonde. Did you dye it? I didn't. Oh. And then you also have the glow too. So all the things. But yeah, what about, I want to know about you. I was going to say, like, my hair and nails, I feel like, is a lot healthier when I'm pregnant.
00:44:55
Speaker
But I will say it's such a jump scare when I see my face. Oh. Because it happens over time, you don't realize how round your face is. No. I feel like my face swelled like swelled up the moment after I conceived with this time.
00:45:07
Speaker
Oh, my gosh. Even just watching podcast clips. oh yeah. Your bump comes faster, too, with everybody, huh? Oh, my gosh. It is actually crazy. like Yeah. I know we're saying that I don't have a bump, but if I was like fully out right now, this is what my bump looked like at like 25 weeks with my first. Yeah, my first, I thought I had a bump. I went and looked back at pictures.
00:45:25
Speaker
I'm like, I was 20 weeks pregnant and barely looked bloated. No, it's crazy. so but yeah. have that to look forward to. I am. it Okay, i just want to add like one more thing before we end. If you are struggling while you're pregnant,
00:45:38
Speaker
Let people know. Yeah. Like let people know, don't be embarrassed. um I hate feel like the only way I've gotten through these pregnancies is well, one, knowing like the beautiful gift I get that at the end. And I hated when people told me like, yeah, it's hard, but it's so worth it.
00:45:54
Speaker
But it's so true. But it's hard to feel that in the moment. Yep. But like, don't be scared to reach out to people or even tell your doctor like, hey, I'm like kind of struggling mentally. Yeah. Because like, that's what they're there for. And it doesn't make you a bad mom. It doesn't mean that you're not a tough mom. Like these things need to be talked about.
00:46:12
Speaker
completely agree. And like, okay, if you're giving so another mom advice, if a friend reaches out and says, what can I do for you? How should you respond? If you're pregnant? Yeah.
00:46:24
Speaker
Because I would suggest actually giving things people they can do because people want to help. So like yeah like what would be some things that someone could do to help you right now? I feel like anything with food yeah is nice. like I've had so many friends, including you, that also I've taken one of my kids for a little bit, which like doesn't seem like it would be that big of a deal because I have three.
00:46:44
Speaker
But just having one like less kid. yeah I feel like when you're pregnant, people will be like, what what can I do for you? And it's hard for you to even think like – What's going to help me right now? So things have been that have been the most helpful are people just being like, let me take one of your kids or like, here's a DoorDash gift card or like, here's something like this because you can't cook. off sourdough. You did that for me. like Just like little things like that because I think it's hard to ask for help when you're just like struggling.
00:47:09
Speaker
I think too, like just being there for people to vent because like you do just of like sometimes, like this sucks. This is sucks. Yeah. And not judging the person for it. Yeah. um Anything else that someone could do for a pregnant friend to help them feel...
00:47:22
Speaker
a little bit of, i think like, when they, if they feel like it get them out because like it is, yeah it is hard to like get yourself to want to do something, but maybe they don't want to go somewhere, but maybe like a walk around the neighborhood or just, and sometimes sometimess you do feel better when you get out.
00:47:37
Speaker
Yeah. Like sometimes I'll go to the gym and I'll be like, oh my gosh, I actually felt so good for that 45 minutes. And sometimes I'll go and I'll be throwing up in the bathroom, but you don't know until you try. You can always go home.
00:47:48
Speaker
yeah You can always throw up on the side of the road. Yeah. But like, yeah, just like, yeah, get out and be like, what sounds good to you? Mm-hmm. And also being okay with if they cancel plans. I felt so bad this pregnancy because I'd make plans with people.
00:48:01
Speaker
I felt bad even making plans because then the time would come around and I'd be like, actually, I'm so sick. I'm like, I'm so sorry. I have to cancel. Yep. And so just like giving them grace, which I feel like I'm so lucky all my friends do.
00:48:12
Speaker
Yeah. Okay. There's one last piece of advice someone asked us tonight. What are, this is off the pregnancy tangent. More motherhood. Yeah. What are some of your most played with toys for your kids?
00:48:26
Speaker
I feel like all kids love magnet tiles. And know what's crazy is like we got those a few years ago and they like like them. They love them more as they get older because they're really into like building. Yeah. And i feel like once they start going to school, they get to play with magnet tiles. And so then they're like, yeah get up on my tower. No, I feel like every time they find the magnet tiles, it's like a resurgence of love for them. It is.
00:48:45
Speaker
My kids love their bikes. Yeah. Yeah. Which makes sense. um Scooters. We just got new scooters. And that's a great one. So it's like last forever too. I just said toys you don't need as much as you think you do.
00:48:59
Speaker
My kids love their dress ups. Like they're so into it. Like I just let literally let them keep out like they have a few capes my dad gave them and masks. And then like I let them just keep their Halloween costumes in like dress up thing. Any sort of toys that foster imaginative play.
00:49:13
Speaker
Yeah. I feel like are so good. Yeah. I'm trying to think like what are some like, okay, I think the couch. Yeah, I love it. Nugget couches are good. Nugget couch. I think a Tony or a Yodo. Yes. Like if they're obsessed with those, what else do they love?
00:49:28
Speaker
will have to post some links because there's some things that like my kids constantly go back to and there's some things that I thought they love and they never have used. I think another way to like help them think their toys are special is to keep some of them put away. Yes.
00:49:42
Speaker
And like even like our craft stuff we keep put away and then when I bring it out and like painting rocks or something it's like something simple. Yeah. But they're so excited because they don't always get to do that. Yeah. I'd say toys like you don't need to spend a lot of money. You don't have to overcomplicate things.
00:49:56
Speaker
Just like have a few basics but also you know I love the dollar store. Yep. For just like a quick, like, let's go find some crafts and things to keep you entertained. Yeah. And I think like find toys that grow with them. Like, I feel like some of our like wooden tool sets they when they're babies, they still love. Yeah. Like things that they can like have that matchup play with. hundred percent. And that gets them to play with each other.
00:50:16
Speaker
Yes. Like they love the magnet tiles. I feel like because they'll play with each other. twork So anyways. Okay. That was our episode. Kind of a shorter one. Kind of a more just like serious one.
00:50:27
Speaker
But you know what? we do it here We do it all here at the Park Moms podcast. Well, and I was telling him like we need do this episode because if you're in it, it is so refreshing to hear other people be in it. Like and so when you're not in it, you kind of forget. And you're like, oh yeah, whatever.
00:50:40
Speaker
But like I remember like postpartum coming off and like how was not having our time. like oh I wish I could like even talk to more people about it. It's like, yeah, it's just so relatable. And like the people that are in it. um It's really helpful too. So I'm glad you shared.
00:50:50
Speaker
Thanks for listening guys. Bye.