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#13: Top 3 Worst Baby Girl Names
57 Plays1 year ago
Apologies for the gender-centric subject of this episode. We'll be sure to roast neutral baby names and baby boy names in the future.
Broached topics: genital shirts, lobbing it out of the park, Cambian parks, top 50 friends, LadyBirding, quoches, Name Your Daughters Vulva!, cat butthole, pretty diseases, Look it Up or Make it Up, Guess What Mara Means, b-r-o-c-c-o-l-i, George Foreman VI, and the purpose of non-Bible names?
Follow us at @MyTopEverything on Insta for updates! Email us at mytopeverythingpodcast@gmail.com with topic suggestions, comments, or questions.
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Transcript
Introduction and Humor
00:00:00
Speaker
Go ahead, ask me again. I bought this shirt because I thought it looked like a clit. A lot. Were you waiting to say that until the podcast started recording? Because it was right on. But I was on a different topic. I was like, I got to tell you guys. You know what's crazy about this shirt is it's already scary without thinking of it like it's a clit. Like adds another layer of horror to that terrible, ugly shirt.
00:00:29
Speaker
It's cute, and there's men out there wearing it. I wore this shirt to work today, and I got to work, and I was like, maybe this is too much. It might be a little inappropriate. I think you may be. You found the line. Welcome to My Top Everything. I'm your host, Marianne. I'm Kara. And I'm Mara.
00:00:57
Speaker
Kara's been replaced by a robot this week, apparently. A robot that's going to win. OK. OK. We believe in you. Not still typing about my names right now. That's not what you hear in the background. You're the little Kara that could today. Thank you. The little Kara that could win. Thank you. Appreciate that. We're three best friends. Could you hear that? Yeah. Oops.
00:01:28
Speaker
You know, when we are in the podcast world, we live in a world where there are no notifications, where nobody else talks to me. You know, you're the only people I know. So that was kind of breaking the barrier of that. You know, other people contacting me. I'm very popular. And you didn't just like set up a timer to go off. She texted Matt like at 619, please text me.
00:01:57
Speaker
It was my former boss. Shit. So you did just feel something? One last paycheck. I'm going to respond or keep her. No, just keep her on the, keep her on tender hooks until I, you know.
00:02:19
Speaker
So later that joke nailed it lobbed it out of the park. Yeah, we did. So we high five for those of you at home.
Misinterpretations and Word Origins
00:02:30
Speaker
Yeah, I hate that. I hate that. I know you do. That's the only reason.
00:02:35
Speaker
OK, yeah, they say lobbed it out of the park. I mean, but what do what do they mean? I don't even know the real saying anymore. Yes, it happens. Is it knocked it out of the park? I think it's knocked it out of the park, but it's been lobbed for like the past five years and then can't.
00:02:52
Speaker
on here right now. Yeah. I like to bring up Serena Williams anytime I can. It's a new thing I decided just now. Sorry. Sorry. Do you think that she lobs anything? Yeah. I mean, lobbying is a tennis move. Yeah, I don't care. You're about to look silly. But I'm more like, knock it out of the park is a baseball term. I assumed when we said lob it out of the park, that's a baseball term. Also, tennis players don't play
00:03:21
Speaker
in parks, they play in courts, so. That can be in parks? Well, you're not wrong. I don't... Did you say cambian? Cambian box? Can be in parks. Well, that's not right. My local tennis court is in the park. Yeah. Why'd you say cambian?
00:03:44
Speaker
Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can. Can.
00:04:03
Speaker
Did you look up lobbed? Maybe. Yeah, what'd you find? A lob in tennis involves hitting a ball high and deep into the opponent's court. It can be used offensively or defensively. Listen, when she said that, I like, you know, Serena is just such a powerful creature that I can't imagine her lobbing something like it feels like a like a
00:04:28
Speaker
sort of sound like, oh, I lobbed it, like I barely hit it, you know, like, like a sissy kind of move. Why would you say lobbed it out of the park? Because when I hear lob, I hear like lob, you know, like you're knocking it just to piss you off. You hated it. So we kept doing it. That is the 100 percent reason I say it. I pictured.
00:04:50
Speaker
I don't know what I pictured. I just pictured the rage in your eyes and every time I said it. But okay, now that I have to picture something, it's going to be a tennis ball with a baseball bat going over offense. I love it. Because there's one more word in there that is baseball related. Out. Which three words? Do you want to tell us which ones? I'd love to hear which of the three remaining.
00:05:19
Speaker
Which of the three remaining five words are baseball related but not tennis related? And also the other two that are unrelated to either. Okay, out, park. Now which article are you leading out and keeping in that is part of baseball? That goes to baseball, yeah.
00:05:44
Speaker
and lobbed in it are tennis related. Oh, OK. It being the tennis ball. Yes. Oh, yeah. Let's get back to where
Friendship Dynamics
00:05:55
Speaker
I was. I was saying that we were three friends who argue about anything. Friends. Oh, yeah. Sometimes you say friends and it is very. It's a little hurtful. I mean, I just you know, maybe I have so many best friends that you guys only qualify in the friendship tier.
00:06:12
Speaker
It is good to have other clarifying words to call people in your lives other than friends. You sir are an acquaintance and I'm not afraid to say that to your face. Now you guys, I love you guys. But there's a couple other people, we're not friends. This is awkward. I'm glad you cleared that up. She whispered, this is awkward.
00:06:40
Speaker
I hope anyone who's listening is now questioning if they know more in real life, whether or not they are acquaintance or friend level. Ask her because apparently she'll tell you to your face. My one co-worker makes me he would ask me like, oh, am I even in your top 50? And I'd be like, no, that's on you for asking. He might be. Who knows? I mean, yeah, if I made a top 50, there'd be a lot of people in there. I don't think I'd expect to be in there. Yeah, for sure.
00:07:07
Speaker
Yeah, three of us friends who like to argue and arguing has made people uncomfortable to the point where it's often been yelled at us. What's the point? Please stop and let me out of this car. Yes.
Worst Baby Names Discussion Begins
00:07:24
Speaker
Yeah. I think if people were brave enough, they would ladybird out of the car. Just roll out and break their arm. Yeah.
00:07:34
Speaker
OK, we're getting back on track. Today's topic is top three worst baby names for girls. We're being gendered about it. There will be other editions of this topic, but today is specifically girl baby names. How did you guys approach this topic? I have one real name. OK.
00:08:00
Speaker
I found names that I thought were funny on the Internet. And then I tried to get some information so that I had some backup so that I could win. OK, you're really thinking about winning. That's all you care about this round. I haven't won and it's not happening again. I have a top three fake names that I came up with that I think would be the worst baby girl names. And then I have like I have real names as well. I have a top three real names. OK, I like it.
00:08:29
Speaker
I'm not sure how much, you know, how much we're going to get out of this topic. So, yeah, I want to come with a plethora of things. Who wants to start us out? Cara, do you want to start off strong? Yeah, I think I do. Okay. That's just spirit. That's just spirit. Okay, so my first
00:08:49
Speaker
I hate, I hate, no, I'm not even going to introduce it. My number one, my number three is a name that me, it's Greek for gazelle. It's a biblical name in English. We say Tabitha, but it was a popular name in the 1920s and 30s in the US. And the name is Dorcas, D-O-R-C-A-S. And I just feel like,
00:09:13
Speaker
There's no world in which two thousand twenty three Dorcas gets out of it alive. Like she is going to be ridiculed. Yeah. From day one. And what's her nickname, Dork? I mean, Dorky. Oh, God. Dorka. Doe. Cuss. I like that one. Dory.
00:09:36
Speaker
Yeah. Got there. I contributed. Nailed it. So are there people named Dorcas? Did you look it up? I did. I think there's two in the US that are still alive. I think it was like a name from the 20s and 30s, then they're just hanging on for... What were their last names? I do not know the answer to that.
00:09:56
Speaker
It's interesting. That makes me wonder where the word dork came from then. Like, did it come from that? Like, was there just some really stupid woman named Dorcas that cemented her name in infamy to mean idiot or nerd? Also, because I feel like I've heard Dorcas like on Disney shows. Like, I'm pretty sure like that was like an insult in early 2000s Disney shows.
00:10:23
Speaker
Uh, it's only been around since the early 1960s that were dork has been originally. It was slang for the term penis. Most likely dork was just an alternative form of dick. Uh, so, sorry, the way you said penis, you just pair now.
00:10:49
Speaker
It's like you didn't want the world to hear, but you knew it was going to, they have to hear it because it was about to be said, but you were like, maybe I can. We're not going to bleep this one, but I'm going to censor myself somehow. I'll say it slightly off. It's very nice. Interesting. So dork was just like dick. That came from dictionary.com. So like your, your dork head.
00:11:18
Speaker
Yeah. Suck my dork. Penisette. Suck my dork. I like that one. Yeah. I'm going to start saying that to people, see how it goes over. And when they look at me funny, I say, read a book. Yeah, I love that. Listen to my podcast. ReadDictionary.com. Ever heard of it? That's probably one of my favorite Archer quotes is where he goes, read a book. Sorry, quotes?
00:11:47
Speaker
I didn't even notice I did it. I'm glad that we did. I'm trying to think of what two words you're trying to mend together there. Speech and quote. Okay. Okay. I think I got it. Yeah. Okay. So what coach was this? Read a book. Good. We just yelled at people. Oh yes. Yeah. When he's like actually giving a good reference. Yes. Kara.
00:12:12
Speaker
Um, so I just looked up dork as well. And in Oxford, it says that it's got this little, um, family tree where dork is at the bottom and it says 1960s, like Mara said. And then the two branches that are leading to it is English, Dick, and then English, Dirk. Damn it. Nevermind. It wasn't funny in my head.
00:12:34
Speaker
I read it wrong. In my head, it was like American and English, the word for dicks, and then they got melded into dork and I thought it would be good, but it was not good. Well, it's good to know that Dirk is just like a like hillbilly way of saying dick. Isn't it weird that we've named men after penises? Yeah. Like, imagine if there was a girl going around and we just called her Vijayjay.
00:13:01
Speaker
I feel like Volva would be a nice name. Like that's not on my list for a worse name. You feel it was on my special mentions. Volva is good because it sounds like a girl's name. It does sound like a name. It sounds like a legitimate name. And I would challenge. I feel like there'd be tons of men who would be like, hi, I'm Volva. And they wouldn't even bat an eye. Like men wouldn't even know. Yeah.
00:13:30
Speaker
I had an Instagram post today about, and it just was a bunch of different pictures, cartoon images of different vulvas, the aging vulva, the young vulva. What sort of Instagram are you on? I feel like in order for true equality to happen, we do need to start naming our daughters vulva, because if we're going to have dicks and dorks out there, you know, we need to start
00:14:00
Speaker
you know, evening the playing field and getting some volvies. I'm really I'm interested in some more graffiti with some vaginas out there. You know, we got this is everywhere. Yeah. And, you know, I feel like the vagina is very easy to draw.
00:14:16
Speaker
See Mara's t-shirt. Accidental vagina
Name Confusions and Critiques
00:14:21
Speaker
stuff everywhere. Ta. OK, Mara, what's your number three? My number three, I would just like to start with an apology to two people in my life, my cousin Kirsten and my friend Kirsten. But it is any form of that name because I mix them up. Kirsten, Kirsten, Kristen, Kirsty.
00:14:45
Speaker
All of them. Kirsty, Krista, Kirsty. There's a lot. And I have to think, I have to actively think if I'm going to say your name in a sentence because I don't want to mess it up because I'm sure you spent a bunch of your time getting your name messed up. Mary is currently dealing with some cat butthole. I have never looked at so much f***ing butthole in my life.
00:15:14
Speaker
My cat my kitten he is socially very my kitten is a very socially awkward and he decided to put his front paws on my leg But keep his butthole right at the camera and he he wouldn't move and then I tried to grab him and he didn't like it Can boy
00:15:33
Speaker
He showed us his Dirk. Our Dirk? Cut that one. No, don't cut that. You share a Dirk now with your cat. All right. Yeah, that's a good one. It's a very confusing name. Down with it. Thank you. Also, I'm going to say plus one for being bold enough to call out people who probably listen to this and they're going to hear it.
00:15:59
Speaker
They're going to hear you say that they have one of the top three worst names a girl could have, man. But there's some nice nicknames, Kirsty Cakes. Love that nickname. Well, that's not a nickname. That's just something you guys came up with. Nobody else calls their Kirsten friend. Here's your friend. I believe that you came up with that nickname so that you could remember her name.
00:16:22
Speaker
It was Linda during a fire drill in college. Linda ran out and left all of us to die. What, she didn't leave all of us behind. Yeah, she made sure that she grabbed Kirsten and she was like, Kirsty Cakes, come with me and left the rest of us in our room and ran out with just her. And then we all got outside and she was like, I couldn't leave Kirsty Cakes to die in the fire. And I was like, it was a drill. Well, that was Linda. She has a favorite.
00:16:51
Speaker
She has a best friend, and then that's when you realize you're just her friend. Correct. All right. My number three worst name. Now, this is a group of names, but you just really can't separate one from the other. It's any fruit names for girls. Clementine, apple, olive, plum, peach.
00:17:14
Speaker
You know, like I can forgive the aspens or the rivers and the willows of the world. You know, all those nature names that are objects. But with fruits, like food names are for pets. They're for pets like cannoli, spaghetti. Well, no one's going to name a girl spaghetti, but there's a cat named spaghetti. I think you're being a ravioli. Yeah, I am.
00:17:42
Speaker
I swear to read that mind. But yeah, I just fruit names in particular, I'm like, I stop calling your girl a fruit. Also, not to get on my feminist soapbox again, but it's kind of weird to name girls after like fruit. There's something very patriarchal about it that I do not like.
00:18:07
Speaker
Yes, yes. Can I do my honorable mention now because it's directly related? Minus two. Proceed. Kara then Mara. Thank you. Patience, queen, princess, uvula. These are all names, legitimate names that I found on the internet. One is not related to the others, but I couldn't help but say uvula over there. I just can't stand when they're like,
00:18:35
Speaker
Oh, we're going to have a baby patience. Don't fucking get up in here with your motherfucking misogynist ass and say that this woman is bound to be patient because of her fucking name. Queen Princess. Queen and Princess is especially hard. Princess. It's gross. I actually knew a princess in elementary school. Yeah. I will say with the whole
00:18:59
Speaker
Patience part of things. I had a whole another list that I'll just do now. It won't be in my top three, but it's the virtue names. Any virtue name gets me. So faith, hope, harmony, justice, haven, mercy, angel, journey. F*** off. F*** off with all of it. I'm not your little like righteous doll. Don't put that on me. Like don't put that on a girl. Faith.
00:19:27
Speaker
No, you don't know that does to a child to be everyone's faith. Everyone's miracle. Do you know how many girls get named miracle? Yeah, they're all going to get little questions and then there's like this whole pressure on ways to behave. Could you imagine being harmony and having that weighing over you every day? Like you can't say no to somebody because
00:19:56
Speaker
Your name's Harmony. You're just trying to keep it all in check. There are two, there are two exceptions for me to this. The first is Grace. I think that name has kind of like, you know, it's gone past its meaning. Like it's so ingrained. I feel like when I hear the word grace, I don't think about like saving grace or amazing grace or have give someone grace and also Verity because Verity is a very cool name. Oh, I like that name. Yeah.
00:20:25
Speaker
Do you think that it's because you knew a grace as a child? So therefore you're like automatically you're not going to be judgmental of that name. I did consider it. But I do think grace is the most popular of them. But it's also like it talks about somebody's way of moving about the world. Like they are a graceful person and they like it all. It's kind of in the same vein. No, it is. It's definitely a virtue name. Yeah.
00:20:51
Speaker
I just think it's popular enough that it's transcended, it's original meaning. Like we don't even say, I don't feel like, yeah, we say the word grace outside of a name very frequently. Like you wouldn't describe somebody as like graceful very frequently. I don't mind Faith, but I think that's also because I know somebody named Faith, but also I met her as an adult, not as a child, so. Is it Faith Hill?
00:21:19
Speaker
Yes. Or should I say Hays Phil? Hays Phil.
00:21:26
Speaker
Like Polly, Dart, and Kara. I see your confused look. Girl. Well, the internet didn't. But they need to know. The people need to know. Yeah. My honorable mentions are along the same line as both of yours. Mine are names that are months, seasons, countries. And I feel like they also kind of lead to what kind of personality you want your child to have. But this doesn't include Iris.
00:21:52
Speaker
For me, I like the name Iris. What is that with months, seasons, and countries? It's a flower. It's a flower. Oh. To me, sorry, seasons also includes trees like Aspen. I didn't do that, but it's on my mental list.
00:22:13
Speaker
I agree that flowers are also suspect. It is kind of like the girl version of vulva, you know, when you name. Iris is a vagina. But I will say any time you name a girl after a month like June, April, September, August or a season like autumn, I think that's winter. But anyway, I don't think anyone. Oh, summer. Yeah. Wow. You can really do all of them except for spring.
00:22:41
Speaker
I'm sure somebody's done it. You hazard the fact that you're going to ruin those things for other people, especially flower names. Maybe it's because of a certain flower name.
00:23:00
Speaker
Rose, but I like it truly for someone with OCD, having a negative rose in your life is like, oh my God, there's so many roses all the time. I used to enjoy this thing. And now I have to, I think about this person when I hear the name or like Daisy.
00:23:22
Speaker
There's got, you know, there's gotta be some s***y daisies out there. Oh, absolutely. No doubt. So I do think like... What if you date a girl named June and then there's a horrible breakup?
00:23:38
Speaker
Throughout, that's 30 days each year that you're reminded day in, day out. And maybe some on either side as people refer to something coming in the future or something that just happened. Plans. Yeah. And you're just hearing your ex's name over and over again. It's inconsiderate. That's all I say. People who name children that inconsiderate. Have you thought about the future trauma?
00:24:02
Speaker
that your child will put on other people. I don't care if your child was conceived in April. Don't do it. You're going to go by the conception date, not by the date of birth. My God. That was awful. Can you imagine? Can you imagine knowing? Every time someone said your name, you'd be like, yep, my parents did it in April. We all know. When your parents- General conception. Your parents probably did it every month. Like, why does it?
00:24:33
Speaker
I hope they did. You said I hope they did? Can you imagine being in a long-term relationship and that would just be sad? I don't know. If you're not doing it once a month at least. What are you doing with your life? I took it too far. I have regrets. You guys are not my friend. You're my podcast host right now.
00:25:00
Speaker
Let's do number. Okay. Well, if I think of you as just friends and not my best friends, maybe my tongue won't be as loose. Yeah. Right. You have no control over that tongue. There is no title. I don't, I really don't. Thank you.
00:25:27
Speaker
There's gotta be a t-shirt made someday. I'm ready. Just Mara's face. A whisper? Mara whispering, slide into my D.S. Please. 100 nightmares. Ooh, that's the closest you got to AMSAR. M-A-S-R. A-M-A-S-R. A-M-A-S-R. What does it stand for? Audio management.
00:25:56
Speaker
All sound recordings. ASAMR. Did you look it up or make it up? That's a fun game. We should start playing that game. Did you look it up or make it up? There's like a little jingle there.
00:26:09
Speaker
I did not. Grayson, make a jingle. On this one, did you look it up or make it up? Do you want to guess? You made it up. Oh, well, you just looked it up. You just looked up to find out if I made it up or looked it up. That's not fair. I don't have patience for that. Yeah, I didn't realize we were going to play the game right now. Good thing that's not your name. All right, let's move on. Let's go to number twos. It's Autonomous Sensory
00:26:38
Speaker
We can move on to number two. We shall not be moving on to number two. What is it? Autonomous. Are you saying autonomous? Potentially. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, this is a new game. It's called Guess What Mara Means. Hey, I know. Do you know, Kara? You get three seconds. Autonomous. Yes, yeah, autonomous.
00:27:05
Speaker
Thank you for the assist. Autonomous sensory meridian response. Meridian. Mera. No, meridian. Okay. Like, I only know meridian in terms of like geography. I think it's like the middle, right? That's how I interpret it. Hmm.
00:27:29
Speaker
I think that is talking about the person who's listening to ASMR. Maybe that's what ASMR stands for. Oh, what is it again? Autonomous? Sensory meridian response. Oh, yeah, it might be. That would make sense. It's used to describe the tingling, static-like, or goosebumps sensation in response to a specific triggering audio or visual stimuli. Interesting. So ASMR doesn't describe the audio. It describes what you're supposed to feel.
00:27:59
Speaker
I did not know that. You learned something new every podcast. Let's do that. God damn it. Oh, we're not doing ASAMR podcast. No, I'm saying let's do number twos. Oh, thanks. Let's go, Kara. Yeah. OK, my number two is Candida.
Unfortunate Name Meanings and Suggestions
00:28:23
Speaker
It has been used frequently throughout history. You mean like cannabis?
00:28:29
Speaker
No. Candid? No, no, no. Candida, isn't that a type of... Candida? Cannabis?
00:28:36
Speaker
I don't know, but it was in a play like Candida or Candide. It's been used frequently throughout history. It means white or pure, but it is also the yeast that causes vaginal and oral infections. And it is a relatively frequent name, quite popular in Spain and Brazil in the middle 1900s. And in the US, it has a little blip and then very quickly went away.
00:29:05
Speaker
in like the 1960s when we started learning about this yeast. I also found a similar name. It's Melina, M-E-L-E-N-A, and it means dark or bloody stool. So just everything in that family. Well, here's, okay. So one of my list of fake names that I came up with was all disease names that I thought would make good girl names, but because of the context we're not. So that's a good game.
00:29:34
Speaker
Rubella, Ruby, Ella, Salmonella, Sammy, malaria.
00:29:45
Speaker
Yeah. Malaria's gorgeous. That one is so close to being real, honestly. That's so close to being a real name. Yeah, Valeria. Not to actually know a Valeria, so I would hate to connect Valeria and Malaria together, but that's what we've done. That's fine. Fluenza.
00:30:07
Speaker
Because then you would call her like flu as a nickname, like Flo, Florence, Fluenzo, flu. I don't know. That one's not on my high. I like the first couple. Well, f*** you. What about the sun? Psoriasis.
00:30:22
Speaker
I can't get the image of it out of my head. So I don't know. I can't even I've had malaria. Like I can get over that one. I can't get over psoriasis. OK, this one. This one is like for sure for me, like would be a girl's name, would be a good girl's name if not for the association. And that's what?
00:30:43
Speaker
I was going to say, can you imagine being a kid trying to learn your name if your name was psoriasis and trying to tell them that the P is silent? Like you try to teach them how to write. And it's always your name that you write first and you don't have to be like, no, no, no, honey, there's a P. And they'd be like, but ps-s-s psoriasis. I learned that it has a silent P when I Googled it just now.
00:31:03
Speaker
So when something new every podcast looks nasty, the number one disease that I think would be a good girl's name if not for the connotation is chlamydia. Correct. That was the answer. Such a beautiful name wasted on a terrible, disgusting disease. Maybe you think it was a name.
00:31:28
Speaker
I mean, maybe, like Candida, that was a name at some point, it got morphed into this yeast. That always makes me wonder, I mean, the poor girl, like, do you think the scientist who named Chlamydia was like, that looks like my girlfriend, like, I'll just name it Chlamydia. Or she just had it so frequently and they were like, we have to name it after her. She has that. Chlamydia is a bacteria, not a virus.
00:31:57
Speaker
Is it a disease? These are disease names. Yeah, it's a disease, but it's caused by bacteria. It's not a viral infection. But it's a disease. These are disease names that could be girl names. Yeah. And you were like, is it a virus? I don't know if it's a virus or bacteria. And I'm answering that question. I don't remember saying. I don't remember saying it's a virus or bacteria. I do.
00:32:24
Speaker
I'm glad now we know that it's a bacterial infection. It's cute, though. Also, for short, you could call her clammy. So it's like the worst. That's so much worse almost. Yeah, it's the worst in a lot of ways because her nickname would be clammy.
00:32:42
Speaker
Kind of like Tammy, but not. Clammy Tammy. Oh my God. Thecatdish.com, by the way, has the, the Sky's girlfriend is a pediatrician and comes up with a lot of weird names like throughout her career. And she has seen somebody named Chlamydia come to her. So that's the thing someone's done. That's a rough thing to do to your kid.
00:33:10
Speaker
You know, you can always tell how much a person hates their kid by what they name them.
00:33:16
Speaker
That's true, speaking of two people whose origin names mean bitter. Yeah, I was about to say like me, it's got to be at least 30%, right? Yeah. That my parents hated me. Any name that starts with M-A-R means bitter. I don't make the rules. See, this is my other question. My mom looked up my name before finalizing the name. So I wonder, like, did your parents look up your names? Were they like, this makes sense. I can feel her in my belly.
00:33:47
Speaker
I hope they didn't say that. But like, if you knew that it meant better, why were you okay with naming it? I don't know if she knew it meant better. I think my mom's friend Cheryl found it for her, like as a suggestion that she referenced. And then I think they found it from like a soap opera. And I don't know if my mom, I mean, Mara is only in the Bible, like in one place.
00:34:14
Speaker
This woman, Naomi, loses her eight children. They all die. And she's like, I am bitter. Call me Mara because of the death of her children. Wow. Big name change there. Yeah.
00:34:29
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, I come from a long line of bitter women. Everyone in my family has Mary or Marie somewhere in their name. So that's why my mom was like, let's keep this bitter train rolling. You know, we have a brand my family does.
00:34:46
Speaker
a woman. So it is very, I will say, I respect your mom for doing that because men's names get passed down all the time. Not in your specific feeling, family, Marian, but to have like a female tradition, it's kind of nice. I like that. Yeah. Yeah. Mary. Yeah. That's why we should fight for vulva. Dibs on this is good. Okay. I think we need to make somebody lose a butt.
00:35:14
Speaker
That's all I'm saying. And it can't be me. And it had to be your child, Volva? Or incorporate it in the name, somehow. Volvina? How are you doing? That's cute. I don't know. Would you name your kid Volvina? No.
00:35:32
Speaker
You already said dibs, so I feel like it's already been out there. There's a recording. We actually have video and audio evidence of you dibs-ing it. But it was dibs on trying to get somebody to make a bet. I just didn't finish my sentence out loud. That's not what dibs means. Prove it. Done. It's not. Where are we here? Number two. Number two. Number two.
00:35:57
Speaker
What? So we didn't do them? I didn't know. Oh, I haven't done mine. Yes. OK. Yes.
00:36:05
Speaker
My number two are names that I find hard to spell, just personally on a personal level. And this includes any Irish name, Theresa, Anastasia, Savannah, names where people did their own thing with the spelling and it no longer follows any rules of the English language. And for whatever reason, even though it's a palindrome, Hannah,
00:36:30
Speaker
I almost, dude, I almost had Hannah as my number one. That was like terrible name. Like I struggle to spell it every time. It's so embarrassing. It's like six letters. It's also so plain, so boring. So such a boring common name. Sorry, Hannah's out there, but like, oh my God, like you couldn't think of anything else to name your child.
00:36:58
Speaker
Hannah, Hani. What's a good nickname for Hannah? There isn't one. That's another problem with it. There's no nicknames. It's just Hannah. Like Hannah says nothing about you. Nothing at all. What's it even mean? What's it mean? It's got a religious meaning, I'm pretty sure. That is another one of my honorable mentions are names that don't have an obvious nickname. I mean, both you and I are in that camp. Correct. And me. And I hate it. I would love to have a nickname.
00:37:28
Speaker
I agree, but we have to go out of our way to make up some weird name. Yeah, I have to add some like weird mammal at the end of mine. My mama was called the Care Bear, but that's... That's a cute mom name. Thanks mom. On the vein of like bespoke names that like are spelled just special for that one person to be different and you know, be a burden to every other person or Starbucks barista that ever gets a name.
00:37:56
Speaker
Grayson shared a little post in preparation for this podcast that had names. My favorite was Broccoli. According to the parents, this is a neutral gender name. There's no gender to it. Broccoli is spelled B-R-O-C-K-L-E-I-G-H.
00:38:19
Speaker
Oh my god. Oh they leave. Maybe broccoli if you wanted but um. Broccoli. I actually think the spelling would be a lot easier for me than the actual spelling of broccoli. If I. How do you spell broccoli? I don't think I need to answer that question at the moment. Let's all spell it. Okay.
00:38:44
Speaker
Well, if I say it first, then we're going to know. Let's just all start at the same time. And I know this can be, wait, this can be our tiebreaker at the end. I can see a tiebreaker coming. No, I like that doesn't get to use her phone anymore. Or let's just go around and each say one letter. Okay. Like that. Yes. Well, I think we have to say them all at the same time.
00:39:11
Speaker
Oh, you can say the letters together? Because if she says one, it has to be all together. Okay, here we go. Here we go. Letter number one. B. E. You're late. Okay. Letter number two. R. Letter number three. Oh. Mara's looking at us. She's so stressed. Letter number four.
00:39:37
Speaker
C. C. It has to be at the same time. Letter number five. Stop, stop, stop. I have to, I have to, I can't, okay.
00:39:47
Speaker
Also, we have to have a countdown. It's stressing me out. OK. Letter number five in three, two, one. Oh, C. C. C, double C. You didn't do it, Marion. I just said it with you. We waited for her to say, oh, and then we both said C at the same time. You were so good at that. I didn't even hear you. This is spelling slowly because it's not on my strong suit. B-R-O, Brocko. OK, now, next letter, three, two, one.
00:40:12
Speaker
O. Okay. Next letter. Three, two, one. L. L. Next letter. Three, two, one. L. I. I. I. Double C. No double L in an I at the end.
00:40:36
Speaker
It's a... It's really hard to... It is a hard one. It's a hard one to look at. Yeah, it's not easy. I was like 50% chance to do that wrong. I just was excited about it. Though I feel like broccoli, the way these people have spelled it, still an atrocity, still difficult, not helpful, and not a name. Again, food name, maybe a good pet name. I don't hate the way it sounds, though, to be honest. Broccoli? But then your nickname is Brock, and Brock is not a great name.
00:41:02
Speaker
That is also a guy in the boat. The other day we were going to see Hicken and somebody didn't check in. And so they were looking for this guy and they said Brock something like Brock Smith. And this like 60 year old dude turned around and was like, yeah, I was like, that is not the name of a 60 year old man. Damn, that's like I have a nephew that's Brock and he's like a year old. That makes sense. I don't feel like Brock's go old, you know, grow old. No, they're solidly in there like teens to thirties. Yeah.
00:41:32
Speaker
My number two name, the fake one I came up with is moldy. I feel like that could be a name kind of like Mandy, but like or Colby, but like moldy. And you know, girl, that very close to Candida in some ways. I also think along the same lines of your like disease one, I feel like different scientific names for molds would be cute. Don't ask me to name any.
00:41:59
Speaker
My number two... You can't do that. Just a minus half point. I'll allow it because of time. I'll allow it. Okay. I'm also giving a minus half point though. My cork. I was really excited to hear one that would be good. My number two, my real number two is the name Gemma.
00:42:26
Speaker
Why? Why would they spell it the way they do? You know who I'm talking about? This is real name. This is the real name that people have. It's spelled G-E-M-M-A. Like Emma with a G in front. And you don't pronounce it Gemma. You pronounce it Gemma. That's not a name. That's like a sound. I don't see anything wrong with that. It's like Gene. You think Gemma? Gene with like the letters. Like it's spelled both G and J.
00:42:55
Speaker
But one is a male spelling. Yeah. One is a female spelling. And it's also G-E-N-E, right? Yeah. Yeah. Or G-E-A-N. Yeah. Whereas a woman. I feel like Gemma, I don't even. Oh, I see the point. OK. All right. I don't feel like I've ever even known that the word Gemma was a name, and I do not enjoy it. Sounds like one of the gamma. It sounds like it reminds me of sound waves. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think it sounds coming off the tongue. If you want to name someone
00:43:24
Speaker
Emma, just name her Emma. If you want to say that your little girl is a gem, just name her Gem, don't do Gemma. What is that? Gem would be... Gemstone. Gemma is nothing. It's like a kid who can't pronounce Jenna. They're like Gemma. Like it's just not...
00:43:40
Speaker
A younger sibling has got to, yeah. Well, what if, what if, yeah, what if we had a toddler that named their sibling, then would it be okay? Their parent, what the fuck? No. No. There's so many other problems with that. That's like 100% we hate you, child. Let's have the three-year-old name you because we don't care. Yeah, we don't care enough to put any thought in your name. I'm just saying Gemma sounds and looks like a mistake. There's nothing good about it. There's no redeeming qualities.
00:44:09
Speaker
end of JAMA. It also reminds me of somebody trying to say things without their dentures in. JAMA. Yeah. Yes. I agree. Let's go to our sponsors. I was like, right. That was bad. That was so bad. That's a great decision.
00:44:35
Speaker
Number three sponsor this week, it's Grayson. Thanks for being our sound producer and our regular producer and a great stand up guy all in on a more excited note for that. Somebody specifically messaged me and said that our sound quality sounds really nice. So yeah, Grayson. Did they slide into your dams? They did. Thank you. OK, our number two.
00:45:05
Speaker
is that chapter in Freakonomics, where they talk about how there were two twins and one was named winner and one wasn't one was named loser and how that affected their lives. So parents, it does matter what you name your child. So think it over. Don't be stupid. Don't name them Gemma or Hannah. Yeah, there's a Candida. Candida, some therapy.
00:45:36
Speaker
And put aside $10,000 for that person's therapy. Pay for it. Our number one sponsor this week are white women influencers. Thank you for giving us an endless well of material with your crazy who names. I appreciate it. All right. And we're back.
00:46:01
Speaker
This is a good solid. That was good. 1, 2, 3. Amen. B. Amen. Amen. B. Amen. Wow. I can't even say it's been a long day because it hasn't. Yeah, the sun's still up. Kara, what's your number one worst baby girl name?
Personal Anecdotes and Preferences
00:46:21
Speaker
My number one comes with a fun little story. So there was this guy.
00:46:30
Speaker
Oh, no, where'd it go? Oh, there was this guy named Bill Lear, who was the first guy to manufacture compact business jets. And he had had a marriage at some point. He named his first three kids Mary Louise, William and Patty.
00:46:48
Speaker
Very normal. Yeah, very normal. He found another wife. He started having kids with that person. The first kid's name was John. And then he named his next daughter Shanda, Chandelier. And then his next two children, David and Tina.
00:47:12
Speaker
It felt like he got on a train to like, you know, funny name town. He just, Shanda, just Shandalier. Is her name Shandalier? Her name is Shanda, her first name. And because his last name is Lear, her name is Shandalier. Oh, that's hilarious. I'm no longer in
00:47:34
Speaker
Camp, I hate this name. Well, also the thing is, I guess because Shonda Rhimes is so big, Shonda or Shonda. That's also part of it. It's not even Shonda, it's Shonda. But how do you know it's not pronounced Shonda? Shonda. Because in the article that I read, she talks about how her dad was a charismatic man who had a great sense of humor and thought it was quite funny naming her Chandelier. Oh. Does she have a middle name?
00:48:03
Speaker
I don't know. He was like, you know, just this one's for the boys. This one, you know, I've got John, Mary Louise, blah, blah, blah. This one's for me. Chandelier.
00:48:16
Speaker
He got put in charge of naming one child. Wife number two was like, not again. We've got to get back to Tina and David. She regretted that. That kind of reminds me of this probably too deep a cut reference for you guys, but there's there's a Weird Al song, Albuquerque. And in it, he's like, oh, we had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly. And that's what this reminds me of is like, you name some kids normal and then you just
00:48:44
Speaker
So one special one gets you have a particularly tough pregnancy and you want to punish the child. Yeah. Or you just think it's funny and then name all five boys the same first name or four boys. Is that that's the grill guy, right? No, that's the George Foreman. He and he named his daughter it, too, I think there's a group of people we went to high school with. Wait, what who?
00:49:13
Speaker
Well, they all went. They didn't. None of them went by Robert, but you can bleep this last name out. But the family Stephen. Oh, oh, they're all their first names were. Yeah. All their and like Matt was it was Robert Owen, Matthew. And then it was like Robert Stephen, something. And then like the first one went by Robert. Why? Because they just couldn't stop. I talked to his dad at one point and they just wouldn't stop.
00:49:42
Speaker
I mean, once you did, but like at some point, baby number two was on the way. You already had baby Robert.
00:49:49
Speaker
which is a weird, yeah, my grandpa's name is Robert, it's aged, you know? And then you decide it, I mean, I guess once you got to number three, you kind of have to, right? You can't, like, why is number one and number two so special? But why? Yeah. And then you're gonna just stop the bit after two? Yeah. You've committed and they did, commit they did. But George Foreman did the same, the same? The the sound? The the sound, yes. What the fuck? To the sound, to the sound, to the sound. Yeah, I'm trying to find,
00:50:18
Speaker
It's not even on purpose. I know. Okay, here it is. He has 12 children, okay, but... Jesus. His five sons are George Jr., George III, George IV, George V, George VI. On his website, Foreman Explains, I named all my sons George Edward Foreman, so they would always have something in common. Oh.
00:50:45
Speaker
Do they not have other things in common? Like a mother? Yeah. You know, I wish my parents had named me and my brothers all the same thing. I think it really would have brought us together. I can't imagine being like John number six. No.
00:51:08
Speaker
Like zero thought, do I even matter here? The second, sure. The third, maybe. Once we get to four, five, six, it's just gone too far. I'm George Foreman the sixth. Also, it's not, isn't that also that like nomenclature or whatever, isn't that father's just son? So if you're the third, your dad and your grandpa were named the same. Yeah, it's generational. So we're not even following norms. Supposed to be generational, yeah.
00:51:35
Speaker
What can be degenerational? My number one name is Margaret. This does not include Maggie's or Peggy's. Just specifically people that go by Margaret. What are you doing? For no personal past reasons at all. No, I don't know. I don't feel like I have enjoyed many Margaret's that I've met. I don't think you're going Margaret's. They're a little too.
00:52:06
Speaker
You introduce yourself to me as Margaret, I'm like instantly on edge and like waiting for you to be mean to me. We're off to a bad start. Also because like what, you're too high and mighty for a Maggie? For a Marge? Marge. Marge. Marge. Marge. Marge. Marge. Marge. Marge. Marge. Marge. Marge. Marge. Marge. Marge. Marge. Marge. Marge. Marge. Marge. Marge. Marge.
00:52:26
Speaker
Going by your birth name? Okay. Yo, what's wrong with you? Like, do you drown with your nose up that high? Oh my god. I love that, Sade. Did you make that up? Is that a real saying? Yeah, do you drown? It's supposed to be, do you drown in the rain with your nose up that high? But I couldn't get out because I don't really, you know, I don't really have the same feeling towards Margaret's as you, but I'm trying to embody it.
00:52:56
Speaker
No, that's OK. I like that saying, though, because it brought chickens to mind. Oh, chickens. Yeah. Yeah. It's a very uppity name. We all licked up at the same time. We're all just here just staring into our noses. I got a nice nostril. Just one? There is something about Margaret. Yeah.
00:53:19
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know, but like it's just a name that's on my like, I will never name my child Margaret. Like that's a name. I know I don't really have any thoughts about future children names, but that is, I know that's on my list. You have future be happy names. That's a big no, no. For when you're on like your fourth date with somebody, whip it out and be like, these are non-negotiables. I don't care what else. This is no, this is no go. Will not be Margaret. His mother's name is Margaret. Go.
00:53:47
Speaker
This is like a good this is a good thing to ask. Yeah. Maybe on the second day, like, hey, how many Margaret's do you know? Are any of them super important? Because I'm not going to go buy anything else before they meet me. Because if you have a cherished grandma named Margaret that you're going to want to, you know, after she bites the dust, you're going to want to name our kid after her. You know, like, I don't want to go down the road with this and then not even a middle name.
00:54:14
Speaker
Oh wow, you are. I don't need that energy in my life. Do you have one particular really awful story from a Margaret? Who hurt you? Margaret! Which one? I'm trying to think, I don't know of any Margaret stories from your life. This is what's baffling is this is out of nowhere if you had said
00:54:38
Speaker
If you had said, you know, like, yeah, names that we were going to be careful is I worked with my very first job in Des Moines after college. I worked with a Margaret and she was just so unenjoyable. I like that as a dis to somebody just going on to the meeting like, you know what, you're unenjoyable.
00:55:01
Speaker
I think she was okay on a personal level, but she's just not a great person to work with. My number one worst baby girl name. Well, first let me say of the fake names, I thought if we have virtue names, let's get sin names in here. Where's our envy? Where's our larceny? Where's our lust? At the strobe club.
00:55:30
Speaker
Oh, I'm with candy. Can we add a candy to just any list? I don't care what one. That's a gluttony one. Gluttony adjacent. Oh, yeah. Good job. Avarice. Ooh, what is that? I like that. That's kind of cute. That's like the Bible word for greed. So I feel like avarice could be a name. And people want to know what it meant. Yeah. You just explained it to two of us. Pretty good audience, too, you know?
00:55:58
Speaker
You know, they'd be like, why did your parents name you Avaris? And you'd be like, well, like when I was a parasite in my mom's womb, I almost sucked her dry. They're like this little greedy bitch. Correct. I have osteoporosis. My mom has osteoporosis because she gave birth to me. And psoriasis. That's also my sister's name. Anyway, my first real number one is, you guessed it.
00:56:26
Speaker
Allison. I think it's an incredibly boring, forgettable name. I can't tell you how many Allison's I've met and then been like, what's that person's name? It's like the generic brand girl name. Sorry. Why is everyone looking like I've punched someone in the face right now? Because I have an Allison. You said Kirsty and Kirsten earlier. I started mine off with an apology. I did.
00:56:55
Speaker
Yeah. Can you go retroactively apologize for what you're about to say? I'm sorry. I have an opinion about the name Allison. That's fair. I mean, we're all we're all out here name dropping. There's no way somebody doesn't get it slightly offended. I'm not I'm not sure why we look like hurt puppies here over the name Allison. Listen, it's not from the Bible. That's already got to be like a strike against it. Right. Like most names have some type of Hebrew Bible origin. Where did Allison come from? What's it doing?
00:57:23
Speaker
Why is it here? That's fair. An Ally song. Yeah. Also, it's got the word son in it. Like, what are we doing here? Having this girl name with this male undertone. Get out of here. It's the patriarchy. Coming to ruin everything again. Also, like the nickname for it, Ally. OK.
00:57:44
Speaker
Finally. I think Ali's cute. I like Ali. It's not any better than Alison. I'll put it out there. It's not any more exciting. I think it's really good. I think it's better than Alison. Ali is cute. I definitely think Alice and Ali are definitely far superior to Alison.
00:57:59
Speaker
OK, well, Alice is not related to Alison, so you got to take that off. You could definitely go by Alice if your name was Alison. Who does that? Name a person who has given this God written name of Alison and has gone by Alice. Wind it back. I said could. Also, I feel like Alison's don't ever go by Ali. If a girl is named Ali, it's because her name is like Alexandra or like Alejandra. It's not Alison.
00:58:28
Speaker
Wow, I can see I really connected with people on this neutral about this name. It's not on my like absolutely never in my life will I be using this name. Yeah, it's like my version of Margaret. Yeah, I don't actually have a personal vendetta against any Allison's. I just think it's kind of like Hannah.
00:58:46
Speaker
It's just like a very common, forgettable, popular name. Like there's a lot of those though. Like there's always a flash of like Kayla's, right? Like Kayla's kind of in that same, you know, like, why are we calling that Allison, you know? Why are we calling that Hannah? There's a lot of those. Well, Allison, because it's not part of the Bible, I don't know what Kayla is. That's a really good one.
00:59:08
Speaker
Why are you calling on the Bible? Just the Bible ruins. Not ruins. Well, yeah, sure. But rules a lot of our daily lives and it's bullshit.
00:59:19
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. So why is she like, it's got to be in the Bible. If you're going to be boring and popular, or at least be related to Sarah. At least have some Christian origin. I couldn't put Sarah in there because it's got like all this Hebrew history to it. I thought about it, but I was like, no. I know. Allison's fair game because like, where did it come from? Why is it here? Get out.
00:59:41
Speaker
How did you come to be? Yeah, there's no at least. I mean, I don't know. Maybe Allison right in. Tell us about your history and why it's an important name. I can't wait to hear you. Tell us why you shouldn't be on the stop list for your name. And I will I will put in a redaction to my comments here. But until then, also the sun part of it. Yeah. I mean, like Kayla, Hera, Sarah. I mean, I'm not saying that the sun comes from anything, but
01:00:10
Speaker
In a facetious way, I am. Yeah. It started out as a surname and it's of Scottish origin. See, like what's that about? So it's not even really like a good given name. Like it's just like the lazy man's girl name. Yeah, it is. Well, maybe imagine a world where some woman had to take her stupid husband's name because we have a patriarchal society, but she wanted to give her daughter her name.
01:00:40
Speaker
and gave her Alison because it was her last name. But it's not her name. It's a given name. It's the last name.
01:00:47
Speaker
Right, but say a woman, a Scottish woman had to marry off and become a McClellan or something, but she misses her name, Alison. Oh, so you're saying her maiden name? Yeah, her maiden name was Alison. I mean, this is a fun made up scenario that you've come up with that I guess we could put on any of these names. It originated because it would be like a medieval lords naming their children. So like Allers, son.
01:01:15
Speaker
Ugh, it is a sun. Damn it. Well, I think sun was gender neutral. Because they just didn't care to... They used sun as people.
01:01:26
Speaker
Sure. I think it was sexist, but I could be wrong. I could be making this up, and we'll never know. Disclaimer, disclaimer, disclaimer. Look it up yourself. If you're over here saying wag at your little finger at us, you know what? You do the work. Yeah. You do it. That was a great assault.
Naming Conventions and Games
01:01:40
Speaker
Right into my top everything podcast at gmail.com, and you can tell us all your important thoughts that we will talk about on here about what you think about how sexism plays a role into the names and if Allison is actually boring or not.
01:01:55
Speaker
And also, I feel like my Allison got a worse reaction than Margaret. And that was hurtful because I feel like they were on the same level. There's no difference between these two top number one names. I feel here's my here's my reaction explanation. I don't know. Margaret, for me, I had a great aunt Margaret who was right, like born in the I don't know, the 10s, the 20s or something.
01:02:16
Speaker
And so there's not, I don't know any migrants personally. There's Allison's in our lives, so it feels like a specific call out, kind of like Hannah did or Kayla. Like it's a very, like we're gonna get, there are people that are gonna listen to this that have that name. You know what I mean? Yeah, I can name two of them. You have two Allison listening to this? No, I have an Allison and a Hannah listening to this. You know what? Maybe they'll be honored to have been mentioned.
01:02:45
Speaker
I'll let you know. I thought about putting like Cara as my number one. I thought about doing the same thing. I thought about putting any Mar name. Too bad. Mar beat you to it basically. I didn't put it on my list.
01:03:01
Speaker
OK, well, should we give out points real quick? There's a lot we can cut from this episode. Yeah, I I know the points part has got to be my least favorite part. It's just me judging. I have a point to give. I want to give a point to Marianne because she came up with a fun list that was outside of the assignment. Extra credit. Good job. Thanks. I'll give two points to you, one for your third example and your second example. I feel like I wasn't impressed by number one.
01:03:29
Speaker
chandelier, but I liked the other two. I thought the research was good. Yeah, thanks. I'll give a point. This is like painful to watch. I also enjoyed the list of diseases that could be
01:03:58
Speaker
Thank you. Also, I really enjoyed how all of us were on the same wavelength about names that are truly annoyance of like something that like predestines how that person is supposed to behave. Yeah. Point to all of us for that. I mean, we're all feminists, so. Yeah. Shocker. So you two are tied.
01:04:18
Speaker
So tiebreaker. Yes. Yeah. Oh, and Kara took point to five away from me or point five for some bullshittery. I don't remember. I give it back, I think. Oh, thanks. Yeah. OK, so I have one point. This is good. Yeah, you got a point. OK, tiebreaker. OK, let's do like the can somebody mark you look up like. Top whatever top names of like the early 2000s, and then we will try to guess.
01:04:47
Speaker
Yes, I love this. And if we get a number one name and like what you're, let's see, in 2000, let's say 2001. Why do you know? No, 2001. And if one of us gets in the top five and the other one doesn't, then it'll be whoever gets the highest ranking one. Got it. Do you have a choice in 2001? Yeah. If you look up like top 100 girl names in 2001, Mara, do you have a list?
01:05:18
Speaker
I typed in top curl names of the 2001. Jesus Christ. You typed of the 2001? Yeah. Top curl names of 2001. You have a list? Yeah, I have a list. This is hard because it's like these kids would have been in our camps. Like that's the generation we're working with here.
01:05:47
Speaker
I'm going to go for it. OK, I'm ready. Three, two, one. Oh, oh, my God. Shut up. Who wrote Emma? I did. Number one. Dammit. It doesn't really feel fair because I picked the year.
01:06:05
Speaker
Yeah, that's true. This was rigged. Okay, let's do 2002. No, no, no. Let's do like Mara. Wait, I won't say it, but pick a year from the 90s. Okay. Wow. Emma was number one. I guessed that because I'd started thinking of friends. Emma, Emily, Ashley. Mackenzie was number 13. Wow. Where was Sarah on the list for 2000? I wasn't.
01:06:30
Speaker
So hence this lack of excitement. What year? What year in the 90s? 1996. OK. I didn't want to pick the year we were born. Wow, I can't believe I picked number one. That's crazy. I know. All right. I have my from sources of the web.
01:06:56
Speaker
Sorry, I need a second. I wonder even if I want to win so bad. Oh, you know what, though? Emma, the friend's baby wasn't even born, quote unquote. And the episode didn't come out until 2002. Oh, nice. Yeah. OK. Well, that makes sense, though, because they would have chosen anyway. Yeah. Yeah. I guess they chose the top name of the past year. Pandering. OK. Are we ready? Three, two, one.
01:07:26
Speaker
Megan and Michelle, okay. I feel like Michelle's a really good ghost. Megan.
01:07:31
Speaker
Megan is on the list, and Michelle is not. Where's Megan? I don't know. It's not on the list. It's on the first top 12. Where's Megan? Oh, Megan is one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. That's ninth on this list. Number one, number one is still Emma. Damn it. She could have stayed with Emma, damn. Yeah. What was two?
01:07:57
Speaker
Number two, Emily. Emma, Emily, and then Olivia, Jessica, Alexandra, Madeline, Amanda, Leah, Megan, Jasmine, Kayla. Kayla, all right, congrats, you earned it.
01:08:14
Speaker
Congratulations, Kara. You won. Thank you. What a bright, beautiful, sunny day. My name is Kara. I'm the winner. I'm Marion. And I'm Mara, the loser of today. But am I really? I'm not. I didn't like that I said that. And I'm Mara.
01:08:32
Speaker
And this has been our top everything. My top everything. It's our top everything. We share it all. Yeah, I am a Democrat, so we're... No, I didn't mean to say that. Well, you live in a Democratic... You're kind of s***ing the bed to be hosting that bed. I panicked. It's okay, I already won. It's okay. Well, if you can't close it, have you won? We live... I am choosing to live in a Democratic society where we share things.
01:09:03
Speaker
So welcome to our victory on our top everything podcast. Oh, we won, Mara! We all won. Kara, don't taint your victory like this. What is wrong with you? I have to dig myself out of the hole, man. No, you just got to dig further. You got to commit to it. You got to dig a little bit further. And it usually gets worse.