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Episode 3 - What Did Martin's Diagnosis Look Like?
133 Plays2 years ago
Paul makes a beef bourguignon and his mind is blown by his medication swap out. Martin goes back 10 years to chat about his doctor's choices in consulting room décor.
Spotify Playlist Link
Martin's music mentioned in the show is here:
Apple Music Link
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Download free ADHD / Focus music here:
Bandcamp Link
Theme Music written by Freddie Philips and played by Martin West. All other music by Martin West.
Please remember:
This is an entertainment podcast about ADHD and does not substitute for individualized advice from qualified health professionals.
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Transcript
Humorous Cooking Struggles
00:00:00
Speaker
So yeah, I can see that going. Okay. So, so yeah, I, um, it's really funny yesterday. Uh, I've made, I've made a beef book in your, okay. Nice. Nice. And very friendship. Very friendship, mate.
00:00:17
Speaker
and very high in cholesterol, like off the charts. Anyway, it was like the last kind of kneeling before the figure of health. But anyway, so I started making it and it was just a really good test for me in terms of like
00:00:40
Speaker
how good I am or bad I am just following a goddamn recipe. So I bought all the ingredients. So that's all cool. And I followed Marco Pia White on YouTube.
00:01:00
Speaker
okay right and i just oh god i was all over the place as i always was and maybe always will be just can't do that thing in like a logical thing like an like an like an like an order step one step two step three
00:01:16
Speaker
Yeah, but not only that, as soon as Marco Pierre bloody wide had told me one thing, I thought, oh, okay, that's how you do it. Two minutes, no, not even two minutes, a minute later I'd forgotten it, I'd have to replay it. And I just can't hold information like that. I find doing recipes off of YouTube very frustrating.
00:01:44
Speaker
because I have to pause and scrub backwards. There you go. Whereas I find if it's in a book written down, I stand much more of a chance because it's just like looking down. I don't have to get a mouse and then hold my finger and move the playhead around. It is that thing, isn't it, of like step two, chop the onions. Right. Let me get an onion. Yeah. Okay. And then you think, what was I supposed to do with this onion?
00:02:15
Speaker
chop it roughly, chop it finely, I can't remember, you know, yeah.
Podcast Introduction and Focus
00:02:20
Speaker
Anyway, it was really nice. Well, that's good. All right, and with that tasty little intro, welcome to Old Geezer's Talk ADHD.
00:02:54
Speaker
yes we do yes we do every now and then quite regularly in fact every week every Tuesday
00:03:08
Speaker
Anyway, who are you, Paul? Hello, I'm Paul Thompson. Thanks for asking. That's Thompson with a P. And I was recently, apparently the P denotes Protestant, by the way, but that's another story. I was recently diagnosed after 56 years with a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by executive dysfunction, occasioning symptoms of
00:03:33
Speaker
inattention, hyperactivity, impulsivity and emotional dysregulation that are excessive and pervasive, impairing in multiple contexts and otherwise inappropriate. Or, as some people like to call it, ADHD. That's a lot of boxes you're ticking. And I'm Martin Weston. I was diagnosed about seven yonks ago.
00:04:04
Speaker
meaning years. You've edited this because they say 10 years. Yeah, I know. Well, we are recording this slightly out of order. So when you get to episode, I don't know, it will suddenly switch to 10 years. See, that's what happens when you do things out of order. It kind of
00:04:27
Speaker
It's been ambitious. You're thinking like three years time we'll still be recording episodes. And at some point, it's like the clock is always right twice a day. So we're just two old geezers. Who, by coincidence or not, after 39 years of friendship, discovered that we're co-ADHD-ers.
00:04:51
Speaker
Now, it's really important to say that this is an entertainment podcast about ADHD and does not substitute for individualized advice from qualified health professionals. So don't take any advice from us. No, no, no. We're just here as kind of all inclusive ADHD park bench with a polka dot onesie and a sherbet dipped up. Nice. That's a nice little visual.
00:05:20
Speaker
That's one for the Brits there. Yeah. Polkadot onesie. The actual thing that I like that it didn't ought to correct a onesie. It actually exists onesie. Yeah. Very, very, very big, very comfy.
00:05:37
Speaker
So anyway, if you're still here, I guess you are because you wouldn't be listening to these words as I'm saying right now, then grab your lunchbox and let us take you to ADHDville, my God, ADHDville, an imaginary town that we've created our minds where we like to explore different parts of ADHD. That's right. Put my teeth in now. And we are the co-mares of ADHDville and we start off in the mayor's office in the town hall.
00:06:07
Speaker
And we start off every week with our weekly meeting. Um, and the first thing that we discuss about is, uh, how was our ADHD week? Yeah. How's it, how has it been? Good bag ugly.
Medication Switch: Paul’s Experience
00:06:23
Speaker
It's been, uh, cause I was diagnosed five or six weeks ago. Yeah. Like the last episode, I said it was a mixed bag. It's still a mixed bag all over the place, all over the place. Just, um,
00:06:38
Speaker
Yeah, all over the place. But there's a good thing. There's a good thing. The new meds I've changed from Probegeal to two weeks ago changed to Ritalin. Great, brilliant. And one thing unexpected, because I've suffered all my life with headaches and migraines, I haven't had a migraine or headache for 10 days. Whoa.
00:07:02
Speaker
my mind officially blown. That's a big one. It's huge for me. Fantastic. It's a big one. How about you, Martin? Wow. Well, obviously, we're recording this out of step with everything.
Job Routine Challenges and Freelancing
00:07:17
Speaker
But what I will say is, so I've been doing work for an agency for the last couple of years. And then that comes to an end at the end of November.
00:07:30
Speaker
So that will mean for me that the routine of getting up at a certain time and then being on a 930 call and then, you know, just looking, you know, doing odd bits of work during the day is gone. So I actually work better when there is a framework around my day and then that's going to be, that's going to go.
00:07:57
Speaker
So now my wife's like, right, well, how are you going to make sure that you still do all that because you need some sort of structure, otherwise you end up doing nothing. So going into December and January, that's going to be my goals are going to be
00:08:25
Speaker
being productive, finding, hunting, job hunting, work hunting. I work freelance. But it's like hunting down some work and making sure I'm happy and I don't slip into a shame spiral because when you're putting out, when you're trying to hunt down work, there's a lot of doors that just get shut in your face.
00:08:54
Speaker
especially when you kind of get up into your, into your, you know, into your fifties and beyond. So it's, it's very easy to kind of to slip into a depression about it and just go, Oh, I can't do this anymore.
Age Bias and Job Market Reflections
00:09:10
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I worked out recently, like, Oh, people don't, well, people, you get judged like it or not. You will be, well, I've been judged like, Oh,
00:09:22
Speaker
Why would we take on a 56-year-old creative director? He's going to be a bit past it. He's not got his finger on the creative pulse on him on terms of style and blah, blah, blah. It's not true at all. But it definitely happens. Or I get the thing where someone actually came out and said at an interview, they're worried that I just wouldn't be able to take orders from a potentially younger
00:09:52
Speaker
or much younger creative director, like, okay, Paul, not orange, do it green and just, you know, do it. They just, I think I wouldn't be able to do it, which is, it's called this nonsense of course, but yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Yeah. I've had the age. I felt the age thing happened a bit. Yeah. Cool. Okay. Well, we're on the same boat, actually, Martin, cause I'm, I'm looking for a job at the moment. Things are very, very quiet.
00:10:20
Speaker
I've been pretty much structure-less, which is not good at all for me, but maybe going into teaching, so, you know. Oh, a little switch. Maybe, maybe. Yeah, because I've failed at this every time. Every time I've been in between like solid chunks of work, I just float around aimlessly.
00:10:46
Speaker
and it's always never been good. But what's at least hopeful here is that for the first time, even though I've had ADHD or I've known for a long time, my wife and I now have a language
00:11:07
Speaker
around it and, and, um, and then actually, I think we can, we can talk about it a lot better now, some, some kind of hopeful that the communication is going to, going to be better. And the thing that language is so is that it's so much about a language, you know, especially internal language. Yeah.
00:11:31
Speaker
The other thing about the job is, you know, I always found that my, I always kind of knew that my work was my almost only source of self-esteem. And if I didn't have work, I didn't have the self-esteem kind of stimulation. I was just like a, just a, and I think amoeba. Right. Yeah. It's like, if I'm not a creative director, then who am I?
00:12:00
Speaker
You bite. Yeah. Yeah. And then if I'm not creative... Which is a scary question. Well, yeah, because when you're not creative directing or when you're not doing your main job.
00:12:16
Speaker
then your entire self identity just wanders out. Who the fuck are you? Yeah. Who are you? Oh God. Oh God, that question really? Do I really have to answer that?
00:12:35
Speaker
I know. Well, you know, I think, you know, yeah, well, let's get on to, uh, me saying, uh, please subscribe to the pod. Someone, someone out there. If that's you, if you're listening to this and you don't actually know us, like you're not like a friend or a wife or a partner.
00:12:55
Speaker
right then then please hit that subscribe button and uh you know and uh radius five stars if you feel so inclined and uh tell us what you what you think
00:13:14
Speaker
Good, bad, ugly. It all helps. It's all
Podcast Multilingual Expansion
00:13:19
Speaker
good. And just on that Martin, I just noticed that quite soon Spotify, if you're listening on Spotify or you're thinking of
00:13:30
Speaker
You know, if you could quite easily move on to Spotify for podcast in literally in the coming days, you'll be able to listen and listen to our dulcet tones in Spanish, French, and German. Literally. Um, you don't even get that like tinny effect. It's pretty phenomenal technology, AI technology. You'll be able to hear our dulcet tones in Spanish, French, and German. It would sound like.
00:13:56
Speaker
Martin and Paul sound like Paul. And hopefully rolling out into Italy as well. So as I live in Italy. Oh, and American accent, if you want that too. You can actually have American English. Yeah, totes.
00:14:14
Speaker
I have a strange mid-Atlantic accent. So when I'm over here in the States, which is all the time, I have a very English accent. But when I go back to England, they look at me. In fact, someone said to me, thought that I was an American who'd spent some time in England. Like that's... Oh, wow.
00:14:39
Speaker
I would have held a curtain. Were you offended? Did you hit them? Did you get violent?
00:14:54
Speaker
You know, because obviously you're a Brit and you live in Italy, and you kind of find that you don't really belong 100% in either country. It's like you have a foot in each and you're kind of in this weird little in-betweeny world.
00:15:14
Speaker
Yeah, because I go back and people are sometimes friends look at me or family like, what did you just say? Because if in the UK, I would say, if I said okay, to me, that would sound okay. Actually, what I do is I go, okay,
00:15:36
Speaker
because I've been living in Italy for 20 years almost. Or other things, you know, just, yeah, I sound a bit weird. Yeah. I've always been a bit of a Zélic, you know, the Zélic, you know, the Woody Allen film. Oh, yeah. I pick up accents and identities quite easily. And I lived in... I think that is an ADHD thing. Is it?
00:16:01
Speaker
I, I, I, I kind of think it, it, it could be, it could be, if it is, uh, if anyone knows, uh, right, right in the, in the comments or let us know. Um, this might be the ultimate masking, you know, you actually adapt yourself to like suit other people.
00:16:23
Speaker
Yes, you know, I think because right, because you do look for social cues is to kind of fit in, right? Because you kind of feel like I'm a weirdo. I'm not like everyone else in unit. So you're very alert. I mean, you know how you were saying, or you will be saying in the next episode or two, that you're quite observant that you observe things, right? Yeah.
00:16:51
Speaker
So observing other people and how they speak and their accents and kind of picking that up and wanting to feel like you're included feels like a coping part of coping with ADHD. So I had to play my Sicilian accent until April.
00:17:12
Speaker
And then I went to see my son last week and he said, oh, Paul, dad, Paul, dad, you've picked up, uh, uh, act is, uh, a brush, a brush in like, which is near the Italian lakes. You've picked up a whole new accent already in five months. Okay. Yeah. I mean, obviously I think of accents. I mean, I just think of one Italian accent, right? So, um,
00:17:39
Speaker
Yeah, people mostly think of the Napolitan accent when they think of Italian. The spicy meatballs. It's a bit of feeling like that. It is. No one actually talks like that. Unless you're like, you're some kind of freak, you were taught like that, but no one really talks like that. Yeah. But it also has a different cadence. And a lot of people, Palermo accent is more from the nose.
00:18:06
Speaker
It's more from the nose. Whereas the brushing accent is more from the from the mouth to the outside of the mouth or all kinds of stuff going on. I mean, when I moved to the States, I could only really tell apart like a Southern, a real Southern
00:18:28
Speaker
draw accent from a Northern American accent. But the more time I spend here, I can probably pick out about five or six fairly easily. But Americans, they're really honed in on
00:18:51
Speaker
on regional variants. And they will take... I can distinguish between about five or six in Italy as well. Nice. That's the same number. It's nice, mate. I can only think of two Italian accents. One is the American, like Brooklyn, Italian accent, which is like a Joey from Friends.
00:19:22
Speaker
Uh-huh. Um, or Michael Cowan. Or the, uh, or the space image, the bowels, the kind of ridiculous stereotype. Right, okay. Anyway, cracking on. Last, last, well, well, not cracking on quite. Hang on. Okay.
Release Schedule and Platforms
00:19:40
Speaker
Last thing, I've, if you notice how much the language, the English language has changed in, since we left 20 years ago.
00:19:47
Speaker
the English accent. No, I haven't. Oh, right. Okay. Yeah. I've noticed it a lot. I was on the train once in the UK, and there was especially the younger generation, there's stuff I couldn't understand at all what they're saying. Oh, it changed a lot. The British accent.
00:20:10
Speaker
Especially in the south. I will keep my ears open. All right. So this is me saying this podcast drops every Tuesday on Apple Podcasts, Google, Spotify. And if you want to see our beautiful, beautiful faces, you can watch us on YouTube.
00:20:34
Speaker
Yeah. All right. Point number three in our, in our, in our meeting, which, uh, as mayors, this is always a very big concern of ours, the budget. Yeah. Cause we run a tight ship. No, we don't. No, we don't. Right. Because ADHD build, you know, has to, has to run on, on, on the wheels of commerce. Chaos. Okay.
00:21:02
Speaker
Well, yes, it also does run on the wheels of chaos. Talking of wheels of chaos, Martin, on budgeting, I've had a note from someone in our finance department that showed me an invoice to refurbish your old London black cab
00:21:28
Speaker
Oh, my London black cab. Yeah. Why? Why? Why? Why am I going to refer my old London black cab? That's my point and put it through expenses. What the hell? Well, well, see, I was thinking, see, I was thinking that if I had a black cab, then then this would help being a mayor.
00:21:59
Speaker
Uh, I could put advertising on the side of it so it could generate its own income. So I could have some advertising all over it. Right. This is, this is, uh, this is, this is what I was thinking. Yeah. All right. I see what you're going to see again with that. Although being the cab is black, it could mind maybe Marmite is more appropriate to say or Guinness. Right.
00:22:29
Speaker
Yeah, I remember that your cab breaking down. We went on a trip down to Brighton and your cab broke down. We did. Halfway on the A23 here.
00:22:41
Speaker
Yeah, so I used to have a London cab. I didn't drive as a cab, I just bought it. There was this legislation where you had to make your cab's wheelchair accessible. So a lot of the old cabs just suddenly flooded onto the market and I was after a cheap car.
00:23:11
Speaker
And my wife said, why not get a London cab? And I was like, what? And I thought, yeah, that is a brilliant idea. So I bought a cab. I put a big sound system in the back. And it was a huge amount of fun. Although there are downsides. I know that Stephen Fry
00:23:36
Speaker
You still have to drive around in the cab. I don't know whether he still does. But you have this weird thing where, it's not really weird, people will think that you are a cab, so you'll just be stopped at the lights and then you'll get people trying to get into your car. And then you go, where you want to go, Gav? Where you want to go?
00:24:02
Speaker
take on this, like, heavy, you know, what's it called? The London Geezer accent. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where do you want to go, Gav? I'm not going south of the river, mate. Yeah.
00:24:13
Speaker
Not this time of night. Right, south of the river, you must be having a laugh. Having a bubble. Right, I'd be pulled up at the lights and then the car next to me would wind its window down and go, Oi mate, how do you get to Bedford Road? No way.
00:24:35
Speaker
And you sent them in the wrong direction, obviously. I had various answers to that. I would either say it's not my area, mate, which is really weird because London is like your entire area.
00:24:49
Speaker
Yeah, or I would just lie. As you said, I'll just go, yeah, just on the left first on the right. Well, I would point to somewhere where I wasn't going and I just drive off. But once someone actually at a petrol station, someone asked me where Whitehall Road was or whatever, and I had just passed it. And I went, oh, yeah, mate, it's back there.
00:25:18
Speaker
on the left. And I was like, yes, I know where it is. I've pointed in the right direction. I'm a proper cabbie for about five seconds. It's called the knowledge, isn't it? Oh, yeah, I was capitalized the knowledge. That's like three years training for the third knowledge.
00:25:38
Speaker
Yeah, so if you don't know, if anyone doesn't know, London cab drivers have to memorize every road, all the landmarks along the road and how you would get from A to B just in your head with no Google maps or any of that
00:26:02
Speaker
Yeah, it's quite it's quite amazing. Yeah, yeah. Anyhoo. Cool. All right. So that's a budget on to homework from previous homework. Let's just call it homework.
Music and ADHD
00:26:19
Speaker
I believe you you wanted to talk about ADHD inspired playlists. Yeah, just came to mind a few days, a few evenings ago.
00:26:32
Speaker
Yeah. It's always been, yeah, totally, totally. One of the really obvious ones that came to mind, it's not actually on this didn't make the list. Although the artists made the list as a song by Thomas Derby called hyperactive. Oh yeah. I remember. Yeah. Which is on the, which we'll talk about in the next episode, actually. Funny enough. But in, but I put, I actually chose, I plumped for, I've got five here. Okay.
00:27:02
Speaker
I've got five to like home it in. I have, I have, I have actually got Thomas Dolby there, but I, I've got the, I scare myself, scare myself. Yeah. Yeah. Just because it's like, it just reminded me of, you know, the, it's kind of a bit scary, you know, being different and, you know, being new neurologically, um, um, you know,
00:27:27
Speaker
different and so yeah sometimes it's scary so I thought it was quite cool it's also a great song that's there's a point these are just great songs as well and then uh i've got underworld born slippy love that oh yeah underworld 90s yeah yeah we're just born slippy like that born slippy is a great track turn it out turn it on turn it up loud go nuts
00:27:58
Speaker
best concert I've ever been to in my life. And I just happened to be there with Mr. Martin West. Oh, I was there. Yeah. I've got a photograph up there of me. A photograph you took me of me listening to Fake Plastic Trees by Underworld. No. Fake Plastic Trees is bad radiohead. It is.
00:28:27
Speaker
Which is also a fantastic track. Yeah, but no, it was board Slippy at Glastonbury. And there's a photograph you took of me watching that. There of God, John Grant, love John Grant.
00:28:46
Speaker
uh featuring shinoda corner is like backing vocals it's not called glacier it's just so cool like uh nothing to do with like the name of the track in this sense but actually listen to the lyrics of it just it's very very cool you have to listen to it it makes me really emotional like hits the spot yeah it's cool i i i don't know that track
00:29:11
Speaker
They've got the Smiths. What difference does it make? Makes actually quite a big fucking difference as it turns out. Great sock. Kate Bush, the man with the child in his eyes. Oh, this is, this is like, oh, this resonates for me. I've always thought, you know, this tribal thing, you know, they were like, you know, 50, 50 odd year old men.
00:29:35
Speaker
guys. And we build up a tribe. I always thought I actually was drawn connected to people that have have the like, you can see the child in them. It's like an element of the child in them in the character. Yeah, that they're still playful and you know, blah, blah, blah. And so that's why I thought caper is the man with the child in his eyes.
00:29:58
Speaker
Yeah. The opposite thing of that, it's like I don't connect with people that just, it's like you look at them and think, I can't imagine you as a child. It's like that old child part of your persona is vanished somehow. Yeah. Yeah. I think, yeah, exactly. I think there's, you know, like when people are
00:30:22
Speaker
look vulnerable. I think being childish is also allowing yourself to be vulnerable and just kind of do whatever it is that you feel like you should do.
00:30:37
Speaker
Whereas I know also a lot of people will have a lot of hang ups about looking stupid, right? So everything kind of has to be quite controlled and that's
00:30:55
Speaker
Yeah, that's not a great place to be as far as I'm concerned. No, no, no. It's just all musk in the end. It's just people just musk in different stuff, so. Yeah. It was musk in something. How about your playlist, Mr. West? Right.
00:31:13
Speaker
Well, yeah, because you brought up this kind of like ADHD inspired playlist thought and I'm going to be quite self-serving in that I also write music of my own and I
00:31:36
Speaker
I write music for my ADHD. So I'll write tracks and music that kind of entertain my own ADHD and then allows me to focus on the work that I have to do.
00:31:56
Speaker
So it's kind of like focus and music. So on my playlist is my own goddamn music that I do, that kind of helps, that is my ADHD, is almost an expression of that. So I shall get that linked.
00:32:26
Speaker
Yeah, you know cuz do you write the songs that the whole world sings? Yeah, I make I write the songs that make the young girls cry So that is the only other line that I can think of that it is I write the songs I write the songs Yeah So hopefully if we have our shit together There will be a link in the show notes
00:32:55
Speaker
that will be a playlist on Spotify we're going to do. So we'll put a link to a playlist, which is longer, more artists and songs as it were. Yeah. And then I'll be in there as well. I don't know much about your personal music, which I'll, yeah. Now that you've put it into context, I'll make a point of having a dive.
00:33:23
Speaker
Yeah, because it's interesting because, you know, when you are hyperactive, I feel like this is my own flavor of it, is that, you know, is that your brain works really quickly, right? It's kind of, it's always a lot further ahead than where the rest of you is. And if I have something
00:33:50
Speaker
then it kind of keeps it occupied. It's almost like having a little kid, right? It's almost like taking a kid around a department store and you want to go shopping, but there's kids just running around like mad. And you can't really concentrate on the shopping because your kids like touch everything. So you go and book it into the ball pit.
00:34:13
Speaker
part, you know, and then you kind of keep it amused for a while while you can concentrate on getting your tidy whites. Right. Right. Yeah. Nice analogy, mate. I like that. Yeah, I know. Yeah. Even if I'm tempted to go to the pitbull and play in the, yeah. Yeah, exactly. I wouldn't get out of that. But they have that scale, don't they? They have like the height
00:34:43
Speaker
You have to be able to get under a certain height, don't you? Without being on your knees, I presume. Right. Just shuffling on your knees. This kid's got a beard. Nice. He's a great beard as well.
00:35:04
Speaker
No, it's not great. Salt and pepper. I know. You know what? It's like, it's like, I've never really bothered. I have a beer is kind of on and off, but then as soon as the salt and pepper thing started to happen, I was like, you only get this once. Right. There is a salt and pepper window in your life where you, where the salt and pepper effect comes in. And at some point it'll just be all, all white. So I'm like, enjoy the salt and pepper phase. Embrace it.
00:35:34
Speaker
Embrace it, embrace it. Mine's like, it's almost all under the chin, weirdly, it's exclusively white. Under that, under that level, it's all white. Hair, no grays at all. Hey, bastard, you've got hair. Yeah, no tinting going on. It's like, what? It's going to happen in one go, I think. Maybe.
00:36:03
Speaker
Yeah. All right. All right. This is the last on the agenda. Where are we going today, Paul? Where are we going today? Actually, I think you're going to take us, Martin, because I did my diagnosis thing. I think it was episode one. One. I always thought, it's totally right, really. And Mr. Martin West. Say hello, Martin.
00:36:32
Speaker
Hi, hi. This is hello. Uh, Marty's going to do his diagnosis as well, given that, uh, yeah, he was, uh, your, Martin, your diagnosis was a way back and, uh, in a different country and another system, different culture. So I don't know anything about Martin's diagnosis. So I'm, I'm putting up a pew myself as well.
00:37:00
Speaker
Let's jump in the mayor's car and head over to the coffee shop. Oh yeah. Coffee place. That's not your cab. Oh yeah, that was exactly how my cab sounded.
00:37:26
Speaker
I think I will have my traditional, actually I've noticed that the Christmas drinks have started to come in, the holiday drinks have started to appear at Starbucks as we are recording this on November the 15th.
00:37:48
Speaker
Well, you in the States, you have the eggnog kind of deal, don't you? And that kind of stuff. We have all the nogs, mate. We have all the nogs. All the nogs. All the shapes and all the sizes. Yeah. So let's talk about my diagnosis.
Martin’s Diagnosis Journey
00:38:10
Speaker
So this actually goes back 10 years.
00:38:14
Speaker
to, I'd been married, so I was in the first year of a marriage and funny enough, well not funny enough, I still hadn't done some taxes for a couple of years. This is a familiar story. Right. Jesus. And my wife was very upset with this because she does her taxes regularly.
00:38:40
Speaker
like a good person and she was extremely upset by this and she was trying to work out why, why I was being so irresponsible. So she went away and was looking around at all kinds of things and this thing about ADHD seemed to fit
00:39:10
Speaker
the behaviours that she was seeing. And so she was like, I think you have ADHD. And I was like, and I don't think I really wanted to hear it at the time.
00:39:27
Speaker
And she was like, no mate, listen, if you don't get this sorted out, then we're kind of done. And I was like, oh crap, this is serious. I'd only been married a year.
00:39:48
Speaker
Um, and she was threatening the divorce and I was like, okay, I've got to take this seriously. Wow. So, so, so I went, okay, right. Well, let's look in into it. And, uh, I think she even bought me a book or something. I can't actually remember how it, um, how I did. Did you put it on your radar ADHD at any point before then or?
00:40:16
Speaker
other than, you know, hyperactive boys at school. Right. So, no. As you know, like Paul, we were raised in the 60s and spent a lot of our childhood in the 70s.
00:40:37
Speaker
And, you know, and into the eighties and the whole mental health thing didn't exist. Wasn't a thing. You know, if you had a mental problem, you are some weirdo. You suck up. You should be right.
00:40:56
Speaker
You know, I mean, I even worked in a mental hospital for a while and like, you know, if you had a mental problem, that's that's that's where they can't come to you off to for the freaks. Yeah. Yeah. Right. So there's so even though I kind of knew that. I was different, I was always, you know, like in that.
00:41:25
Speaker
I always felt like I was different from everyone else, like I was a bit weird and I would say weird things and I couldn't, I had to kind of like try and fit in with everyone else.
00:41:44
Speaker
I mean, school was okay. I was just like a C plus student all the way through pretty much. And I would have my little specialist things that I really was interested in, which was art, mostly science I kind of enjoyed.
00:42:05
Speaker
But other than that, yeah, it was just I think it was very similar to some of the stuff that you were saying back when you kind of feel like you're not the same as everyone else. And so you try and be like everyone else. Did you have someone, a friend or or anything on on on the spectrum that you at that point, or was there like no one? No.
00:42:33
Speaker
No, I mean, because, you know, like I looked around at everyone else and they were in the same boat that I was. We're all trying to, you know, yes, no, there were people with ADHD and on the spectrum around me, but we were all kind of going, yeah, no, we should be normal. We should be normal. We should be doing.
00:42:53
Speaker
normal people things. So, you know, that's how it was. And 10 years ago was a long time ago.
00:43:09
Speaker
in ADHD kind of measure, you know, it's like a lot has happened in the last 10 years. Right. And what I would say is like, you know, because this is about, you know, adults with ADHD, right. And what happens is, is that if you've had any amount of success in your life, you
00:43:35
Speaker
And someone says, well, you've got problems, you've got issues, you've got mental health problems. Well, you know, I'm a creative director.
00:43:44
Speaker
I have won a shelf of awards. I've worked in a bunch of countries around the world. I've opened up ad agencies. I've had all this success and I make all this money. So if I broke, don't fix it. But yes, I was
00:44:08
Speaker
There was a big part of me that wasn't right. Sure, I could hyper focus and make a part of my life very successful. And that masked all of the failures in my life.
00:44:26
Speaker
You know what I mean? Because I would just kind of go, well, I'm a big deal over here. I'm very successful over here. And I would try and focus on that. Look at this shiny thing here. Yeah, look, I did that. I'm amazing. So don't come at me with your ADHD bollocks. But then once you kind of get over that and you kind of go, yeah, well, yeah, the rest of my life is a flipping mess.
00:44:56
Speaker
Um, yeah, you know, perhaps I should sort it out. Um, and then, uh, the headlights moment. Yeah. Well, yeah, because, yeah, because as you said, there's, there's, there's a lot of shame. There was a lot of shame associated with having a, you know, being on the spectrum. Um, you know, and, and also a lot of.
00:45:26
Speaker
shame that I would feel because you know I'd
00:45:30
Speaker
I'd had failed marriages and all kinds of issues for years. For me it's not just the age thing. It's also like, Paul, there's a pattern going on that you've been ignoring. It's like, wake up, smell the coffee. There's a pattern. What do you want to do, Paul? Another 20 years of that? Really? Really? Right. Yeah.
00:45:59
Speaker
there is a point where you kind of go, well, I could carry on and just concentrate on the things I'm good at, or I could actually try and fix this, this other stuff, because it impacts people's lives, right? Because you leave a wake of hurt and pain behind you and you think, yeah, at some point. But also, you know, that's important as well, of course is, but it's also, it's, you had to be pretty fucking miserable too.
00:46:30
Speaker
in the end, you know. Right. You think, well, what is happiness? Have I ever been happy?
00:46:41
Speaker
in myself and you know so um all of that comes into play um and I look into ADHD and I kind of I start recognizing myself as going yeah no I have it yeah you bought a book do you remember what book it was or I don't I don't I was I was talking to uh my my wife about it the other night and we couldn't remember all right um
00:47:11
Speaker
But the important thing is, really, is that it took quite a while to kind of go from Martin, you might have ADHD, to kind of going, I have ADHD, you know, doing a bit of a self diagnosis thing and just recognizing all of these character traits of ADHD and like, I'm taking all of them, mostly.
00:47:40
Speaker
And then so I booked an appointment with the doctor with my like general GP if you're in the UK. I mean he was quite a character because I was working in Manhattan at the time.
00:48:05
Speaker
and he had his office there. And I don't know if you've ever seen, it's like a docu-film called Super Size Me. I have seen it, I have seen it, yeah. Yeah, where he eats McDonald's. McDonald's for a, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it was him. Yeah, for a, it was a period of period of time. Anyway, his doctor was my doctor.
00:48:32
Speaker
So I remember the same with the two of them. Yeah, I got it. And it was a really interesting doctor's surgery, you know, the actual national rooms, because he's been there like working in the Soho area of of Manhattan for years. And it would be that artists
00:49:00
Speaker
and stuff would go and see him and they couldn't pay him, so they would give him art instead. So the walls are full of art. There are some crazy, fantastic illustrations and paintings.
00:49:21
Speaker
Yeah, no, I mean, it is like it's a doctor surgery inside an art museum. And that's what it kind of feels like. Anyway, he wasn't really that supportive of my ADHD. Like, I think I had to be I had to be quite
00:49:45
Speaker
persistent about it. And then but he referred me on to a psychologist whom I then went the next week. I mean, I think it was pretty shortly after that I saw the doctor that I went that I got a referral. And it was like a couple of blocks away.
00:50:14
Speaker
in Soho and went up into her office. It was just like a nice little kind of, it was like a really cool little Manhattan full of paintings, building. No, it was just kind of like a bit of a loft style, like shabby chic. Okay. I was just wondering if the doctor and the psychologists were like art collectors, sending each other clothes. I know, right?
00:50:43
Speaker
It was literally just her. She didn't even have an assistant or anything. It was just her in her little room.
00:50:56
Speaker
And that's pretty much like I think it was probably similar to your experience in that she would just ask me a bunch of questions about, you know, about, you know, about did I have trouble finishing tasks or was I easily distracted? Quite mechanically. I mean, there's a whole bunch. Right. Oh, yeah, it was just basically just running down a list of questions that I was talking to.
00:51:23
Speaker
said, yep, yep, yep, you, you are, you are riddled, riddled with the ADA 18. It just, it just oozing with it. It's just, it's just coming out of every poor mate. Um, so I'm going to put you on, I'm going to put you on by events.
00:51:42
Speaker
Anti-losing cream. Fairly, I think it's a fairly recent ADHD med and I kind of took, I had 10 milligrams of that and I was on that for a while. So it's not quite easy really in the end to get on the med.
00:52:08
Speaker
yeah oh yeah a lot of people have like a lot of people it's a nightmare a total nightmare to actually get to point of you know prescriptions right for uh yeah yeah yeah so i was put on vivance which uh was a bit of a
00:52:30
Speaker
It was interesting in that when I first went on it, I had massive headaches for about two days and then it all kind of calmed down. And it's an extended release thing, so I would take it about.
Vyvanse and Daily Management
00:52:49
Speaker
when I got into work I think, so it was like 9.30 I would take it and it would basically just work until about 3.30, 4.00. And actually it was, I found it really helpful in that I could, it does the same thing for me that the music does, it kind of
00:53:11
Speaker
It takes the ADHD kid that runs the muck and takes it off to the ball pen, keeps it amused. It's almost like everything was a little bit easier to... Everything was just smoother. I was less distracted.
00:53:35
Speaker
So that was good. Did you have like a Eureka moment? Did some people like take it 20 minutes? Did some people like talking about crying? Cause like, oh fuck, this is how I was supposed to feel. Did you have like that thing or? What? I don't.
00:53:50
Speaker
I think so. I don't think it was quite that exaggerated. Part of the problems of ADHD is you have a dopamine deficiency around boring things that you don't want to do. And you only do things that have high dopamine. So I did find that for those low dopes situations, it was helping to replace that.
00:54:18
Speaker
So it was helping me to stay on task. I mean, it was a help, but it wasn't like a golden bullet that solved everything. It just meant that there was more chance of success for a good outcome. That was it.
00:54:45
Speaker
I still had to do all of the other things that would help me, um, in my day. So you get, get proper sleep and all the other little, little, um, tricks and hacks that we do to kind of get over our, to compensate for ADHD. It just, it just meant that the, that I was more generally more successful.
00:55:08
Speaker
I'm getting that, you know, haven't been diagnosed six weeks ago now. I realize it's not a silver bullet, you know.
00:55:16
Speaker
Yeah, it's like the cogs have been greased a bit better. That's all. Right. Which, you know, I think, you know, when you kind of knock around with ADHD for a while, you kind of realize that you don't get cured from ADHD. There is no, you're not trying to be normal because you won't ever be normal.
00:55:43
Speaker
It's just, you know, you have ADHD, and then things help you or hurt you. And you try and kind of like cultivate the things that help you. And that's, you know, so that so that you can kind of not only just kind of get on
00:56:02
Speaker
with your day and not have too many, too many disasters. But ideally you can really squirrel in on the things that ADHD give you, all those really good superpowers and those benefits that ADHD give you.
00:56:25
Speaker
Did you get because it's what I'm finding, I'm finding that, you know, as I slowly but surely get like, occasionally, you know, at a dinner party with friends or something, I mentioned that I've been, I've been diagnosed with ADHD, you get that, like that, people looking like, whoa,
00:56:43
Speaker
Not necessarily. What are you doing in my house? Yeah, exactly. Eating my food. Oh, I'm supposed to be next door. Sorry. Right. Yeah, yeah. Well, okay. Can you just wash up before you go? Yeah.
00:57:01
Speaker
Yeah, who the fuck are you? But yeah, they kind of look, they're like, because it's, it's, it's so easy to like, kind of like, there are doubters, because it's, I mean, the doubters are mainly, you know, based on, mainly based on ignorance, and, and for some also fear, but it's still a reality, you know, and a lot of it's just really kind of innocent, kind of like,
00:57:23
Speaker
not trying to judge you, but also looking at you like, oh, what kind of impact does that have? Like, you know, well, yeah, because actually, there is a thing that we haven't talked about, maybe we should put it on the list is like, when you
00:57:38
Speaker
when you tell other people you've got ADHD, because like, for years, you've been trying to go, I'm normal, I'm normal. I just have problems in these areas or whatever. And I'll try and fix it. But otherwise, I'm normal to kind of saying, you know what, I have ADHD. And that's why I have trouble doing A, B and C or whatever. And the reaction that you get from other people
00:58:04
Speaker
Well, what you think their reaction is going to be, you kind of say, yeah, yeah, I'm slightly on spectrum. I have ADHD and that's that's why.
00:58:13
Speaker
That's why I was late or whatever. Okay. Interesting. Yes. I knew nothing of that. So this is kind of, this is actually one of the reasons we started the podcast. You know, it's like, oh, this is like, yeah, nice. I found, I found in the last couple of days that my, as I've got used to Ritalin, I have like this thing at like three o'clock is like, ooh,
00:58:43
Speaker
yeah and then you get like and then and then you get i get the kind of um oh so this what it was like before
00:58:52
Speaker
It comes back like chaos. Yeah. So knowing that, like I have the same thing around three 30 ish. Right. Um, yeah. It also, the, the wheels start coming off, which means that I, that, um, that I just plan around that actually. And then I have a cup of tea, so I'll have a cup of tea around three.
00:59:16
Speaker
And then the caffeine in that, because it isn't as strong as coffee, because I find coffee just makes me weird. The tea just kind of like just just boys me up a bit. And then just keeps me running for another few hours.
00:59:34
Speaker
yeah well apart from that coffee what else did you yeah i i've stopped coffee and i feel so much better i my headaches have virtually stopped i think it's partly because of the ritalin but also because i've stopped coffee yeah that i gradually stopped taking it and now i drink jin singh um but also i find alcohol two glasses of alcohol all over the shop
01:00:02
Speaker
Yeah, you're anyone's. Yeah, everyone's. Well, not yours, Martin. No offence. Well, no, I'm taken. What about you? Did you like, I don't know, what am I asking? Did you like start to like, do you notice things about alcohol and
01:00:33
Speaker
um sugary stuff for coffee i cut out like you i pretty much cut out um yeah so if i did want a coffee i would go d decaf yeah if i if i kind of felt like i really want a coffee but i don't want to do it or or i would go half calf so i would just half you know because uh i would just like ask for a half calf
01:00:59
Speaker
And that was okay. Tea, I found, is good because it doesn't have as much caffeine as coffee. And it's just enough to kind of, as I said, just to keep my brain amused for longer. Just enough to give your kids a treat. Alcohol. It's full of Cadbury goodness and very small to eat.
01:01:25
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, it's a finger of fudge. Finger of fudge. That's just enough. To give your kids a treat. That's an old ad in the UK. Yeah. I'll call that.
01:01:44
Speaker
I don't like Hershey Pass. I don't like American chocolate generally. It's weird. What is that? What's going on with American chocolate? It's weird. There is a chemical in it which is very similar to the taste of sick.
01:02:05
Speaker
and you can look this up on the internet. And that's why, but if you're an American, you're just, that's what chocolate tastes like and you don't think any differently. But when you're from outside and you eat American chocolate, there's something in it, you kind of go, yeah, this is, there's something wrong with it. It's something weird and that's what it is.
01:02:33
Speaker
Um, mind blown officially. I know. I mean, uh, alcohol, I didn't, I wasn't really drinking much anyway at that point, to be honest. Yeah. So I never really, cool.
01:02:52
Speaker
So then it was like, so that's your seven, seven years ago, you're diagnosed. So what I'm kind of curious, I don't like the whole story of the last 10, seven years. But if you like, if you like changed, changed your meds in that time, or? Yep. Yes, I was on fire bands for quite a while. And then the when the pandemic hit, I was out of a job.
01:03:21
Speaker
We're all in lockdown. I couldn't afford five ants anymore.
01:03:31
Speaker
It would have been like, I can't remember, 600 bucks for a month or something stupid, right? So I went back to my doctor. He set me up with a Zoom call with a psychologist.
01:03:55
Speaker
And we went through the same thing again of me answering a bunch of questions. I think this cost me like $400 or something. It's like a 15 minute call. And then he went, yeah, you have ADHD and I'm going to put you on Adderall. Yeah.
01:04:23
Speaker
generic Adderall isn't even the proper brand Adderall because I could afford that without having a job because it wasn't as expensive. So I went down to Adderall which was a real harsh bump down because Vyvanse was actually I found was really good. It felt smooth. It was like driving around in a
01:04:52
Speaker
in a Rolls Royce and then suddenly I was in like an old Datsun. I mean it got the job done. My granddad had a Datsun, it was lovely. I like my granddad's Datsun. Right. A white Datsun. Right. Lovely. Coupé. No disrespect to Datsuns. I get the point though Martin. Yeah. I know you wanted to see my granddad.
01:05:19
Speaker
No, surely I wouldn't. So yeah, so it was a bit of a crash though, slimy. Yeah, so I find Adderall harsher and I found that if I didn't take Adderall for a day or two, my mood was worse.
01:05:46
Speaker
So I would become irritable. My wife would be like, what the F? And I was just in a bad mood if I hadn't taken it. So on that second day, I would just be a moody bastard. But on the good side, you're still married. That wasn't so bad. Yeah, still hanging in there. I'm still doing it.
01:06:17
Speaker
So yeah, so now I'm on Adderall and there was a whole Adderall shortage that there was a whole, you know, ADHD meds like last year were very hard to get hold of.
01:06:30
Speaker
Really? And a lot of places didn't, didn't have them at all. Same in the UK right now. So in the UK is 150,000 people, including youngsters that haven't had meds for like several weeks now.
ADHD Medication Shortage
01:06:49
Speaker
Right. 150,000. Yeah. No. It's a nightmare.
01:06:56
Speaker
Yep. Yep. So, uh, the, the first. Adderall that came back was just the regular Adderall. It wasn't like the extended release. Um, so now I've got my little blue, blue pills. I have to extend release myself. So I have to break them in half one in the morning and I have one like early after afternoon. And then to help you remind
01:07:31
Speaker
I'm holding this up to the camera but on my little pill bottle I've got AM written on the cap and then on the bottom I've got PM written. So when I have the one in the morning I have to remember to turn it round
01:07:51
Speaker
and then put it down so it has PM at the top. So it reminds me, oh, I've got to take my afternoon one. And then I have to turn it back around again. Right. Wowzers. Wowzers. Yeah, right. OK. Well, that's enough about me. It's a really different experience. Very different experience. Apart from, you know, we're both quite lucky. It's quite a smooth process.
01:08:21
Speaker
which for a lot of people, it's really not at all. Yeah. All right. Well, I think we've rambled on way over our time on this
Listener Interaction Encouragement
01:08:31
Speaker
one. So let's... Oh, plug it, haven't we? Crikey. Yeah. We have rambled. So we're going to jump in our mayor's car. Yes, yes. Yes. We're going to head over to the post office. Okay.
01:08:50
Speaker
All right, here we are at the post office in ADHDville. So we just want to say at this segment, your feedback is vital to us, it says here. And we'll be reading almost all of your comments. And we'll include a regular featurette on our future podcasts of our pick and mix of our favorites.
01:09:12
Speaker
We should say that our discretion is almost as important as Martin's biscuit in. And we'll always be careful to ask before sharing your comments. So please, please do subscribe and interact. That'd be lovely. It would be lovely. All right. Well, I think that just remains for us to dance our way out. Thanks for being here.
01:09:38
Speaker
Check out our show notes for any links. Visit us on the YouTubes, Facebook and even on TikTok. But in the meantime, be fucking kind to yourself. Bye. Ciao. There, says the mayor. That's that.