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Ch. 33 - Best Laid Plans | Corrupting Presence
28 Plays10 days ago
Even the best of recipes can get away from you sometimes.
Meet the cast:
Dungeon Master – Zach Meikle (IG: @zachabee)
Clay Campbell – Prima Zhao (IG: @primbdraws)
Faunalyn Vaydark – Shannon Meikle (IG: @sharsharbinks)
Glimki Treefellow – Jordan Johnsen (IG: @jordan_johnsen)
Edited by Zach Meikle
Follow the show:
Instagram: @bard_soup
TikTok: @bard_soup
Website: www.bardsoup.com
Music & Ambience
The following songs are created by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Beyond the Horizon (0:00)
Vetur Frosti (6:10)
Borgar (2023) (9:24)
Tam Lin (22:50)
Evig Fred (24:57)
Countdown (35:11)
Fall (38:06)
Elysium (42:21)
Horizon Flare (1:00:39)
Red Mystery (1:04:16)
Wanderer (1:06:41)
Passage of Time (1:59:20)
The Jack Russel Terrier (2:04:24)
Staccato Giganto (2:09:48)
Solitary Diversity (2:31:13)
Additional music and ambience created by Tim Roven (www.tabletopaudio.com)
Halfling Festival (17:04)
Protean Fields (28:29)
Solemn Vow (46:11)
Underground Lake (1:01:41)
Thieves' Guild (1:15:08)
Waiting Music (1:19:34)
Sound Effects
Additional sounds provided by Pixabay
Recommended
Transcript
Infiltration and Strategy
00:00:00
Speaker
Now, let's see, where were we? Ah yes, that's right. When we last left our heroes, they had fully committed to the life of rebellion, making various efforts to infiltrate and disrupt the Korak Mining Company before it could cause further harm to the island of Mengen.
00:00:18
Speaker
Glimke was successfully able to infiltrate Korok security and began a new life as Geronimo T. Gates, the newly appointed head of security. Meanwhile, Clay and Farnlin found a glass-blowing studio owned by a pair of dragonborn named Hammer and Tongs, who agreed to melt down the metals needed to duplicate the rings worn by Boontar Strigamore, the rings that our heroes believed would grant access into the safe in his office.
00:00:47
Speaker
While Clay was forging medals with their newly found friends, Fondland set off to find a quiet place to forge some documents. However, her plan was interrupted as she overheard the mugging of a Brighanock man, a mouse-sized creature by the name of Stump.
00:01:05
Speaker
She saved him using a previously undisclosed ability to mimic voices, and she was invited back to Stump's home village, Halftown. for a celebratory feast while this all was going on geronimo made some plans of his own he interrogated dwarf by the name of edin stick who was the one who had attempted to sell blast powder to callum's friends glimki hoped that edin could be brought over to their side but it seemed he was only out for himself
00:01:36
Speaker
Glimke decided to, much like a Ken Watanabe character in a Godzilla movie, Glimke thought that perhaps the best way to stop his multiple enemies was to let them fight, as he assembled a secret task force and gave them the instructions to blow up Fish Head Franny's boat.
00:01:55
Speaker
Clay was able to successfully forge the rings, and all that remained was to sneak back into Korak HQ before it got crowded once again with dwarves and open the safe.
00:02:06
Speaker
Farnelin reached Hearthtown, where she met an abundance of Bryganox, who marveled at her size and and fed her loaves of bread the size of crackers.
Bear Diplomacy and Gifts
00:02:16
Speaker
However, the noise and smell of this feast attracted a creature, a mutated bear,
00:02:22
Speaker
who wandered in and seemed hungry. Lastly, at the end of his busy day, Glimke returned to Korak HQ to update Boontar Strigamol on his progress as Geronimo T. Gates, and what he found was not what he was expecting.
00:02:38
Speaker
It seemed that the assassination of Fishhead Franny had failed, and she was angry. She took control of Boontar's body and told Glimke that the blast powder that he had sent to blow up her boat would be coming back to him very soon.
00:02:52
Speaker
You already settled it. Yes, but a lot happened and I think it's good to take stock of things because the story is long and winding and I just think a little reminder every so often, maybe once every couple of weeks, ought to keep things fresh in your mind.
00:03:07
Speaker
Anyway, on with the story.
Diplomacy and Deception
00:03:24
Speaker
Come gather round, travelers, and sit on the stoop. We'll tell you a story about Batsu. Three lovable scamps in our traveling troop.
00:03:38
Speaker
We'll tell you a story about Batsu.
00:03:55
Speaker
It's soup and time.
00:04:00
Speaker
Welcome back to Bart's Soup. This is attempt number eight. We're 16 minutes into our recording. We're yet to get an intro that feels right. We've talked about organized religion. We've talked about Christmas. We've talked about celebrities who died at 33. We've talked about Bear Cop, my OC. And now we're passing the mic over to Shannon to take over and run the intro.
00:04:21
Speaker
Something I swore I would never do. Take it away, Shannon. Doom, doom, doom, doom,
00:04:32
Speaker
cut to the roof of the building there was a figure in whole black scaling the wall prima your mission should you choose to accept it is to introduce yourself and your character Hi, I'm Prima and I play Clay Campbell.
00:04:49
Speaker
i accept this mission. Cool! Your sunglasses explode and the camera swipes down to the ground. There is a man in a van. He's got a ton of explosives. Jordan Johnson, your mission also, if you also choose to accept it, is to also introduce your character.
00:05:05
Speaker
I accept. I'm Jordan Johnson. I play Glim Kee Treefellow. And also if you were a spy, what would your um niche role in spy group be? He's the guy the band with the explosives. Yeah, like I'm the demo guy. You gave him the role.
00:05:21
Speaker
Demolition. Sorry, you gave him the goal. Okay, the van explodes and through the cloud of smoke the camera zoom pans it ascends with the explosion and pans onto what's this a different roof Zach Meikle your mission should you choose do so did is do to introduce yourself?
00:05:39
Speaker
Hi, I'm Zach Meikle and I'm secretly a terrorist
00:05:44
Speaker
Doom, doom, doo-doo, doom, doom, doo-doo. I'm Shannon Meikle, and I play Fauna Lynn Vedark. And I spike the lens, and I put on a slutty pair of 2000 sunglasses, and then the the screen fades to black.
00:05:56
Speaker
And welcome to Bard Soup. And it's Bard Soup. Yeah, well, then the text, there's a bunch of glitchy text, and then Bard Soup appears. Everyone will see it. You can edit edit that in, right, Zach? Nope, this is an audio-only video podcast.
00:06:08
Speaker
Can you make that happen? All right, we did it! Drawn by the smell of the Bryganok feast, a mutated bear has been drawn to the mushroom village of Hearth Town. I've been calling it a village, but then the name is Hearth Town.
00:06:26
Speaker
Maybe it's a little confusing. Maybe you're wondering how many Bryganoks live in this village. Is it a village? Is it a town? I'm not going to tell you. What I will tell you is that Faunelin Veydark sitting on a uncomfortable rickety wooden chair at the edge of a large blue mushroom upon which the Bryganox feast, watches as chaos envelops Hearth Town.
00:06:51
Speaker
You have no weapons, but you've been here before. This is Fonlin vs. the Bear, round two. Oh, sheesh. Somebody bring in a cage. I think it's very messed up of you to introduce this very serious, to start on this very serious plotline after...
00:07:09
Speaker
a series of introductions that resulted in me laughing harder than I think I've laughed in numerous years. I simply can't take this bear seriously.
00:07:20
Speaker
He's just so silly goofy. Yeah, cool. So Fonelin springs into action. She is going to stand up and kind of like gesture at everyone to like be quiet, to to quiet down. And she's going to, um she's going to try speaking to the bear because this is a magical world full of all manners of creatures. And she's going to loudly and clearly say, you may have some food.
00:07:46
Speaker
We mean you no harm. Do us no harm. And we may go our separate ways. But she's not really expecting anything to happen. She's like, you've got to try diplomacy because sometimes bears are sentient. But then then you get crazy. Does the bear respond to her words?
00:08:00
Speaker
Give me an animal handling check. Oh, yes, because Faunalyn spends so much time. oh actually, I have a plus two. Oh, that's a 21.
00:08:13
Speaker
The bear trods over, heavy footsteps, claws digging into the ash-covered ground with each step.
00:08:25
Speaker
The brigginogs tense up and freeze as it approaches, and then it runs this cyst-covered tongue across the tiny little wooden furniture placed upon this dining mushroom.
00:08:41
Speaker
it starts slurping up the little tiny sandwiches and dainties that are, let me remind you, normal size for the Brighanocks because they're little guys.
00:08:52
Speaker
And it just is like... One of the Brighanock children says, but mama, the feast. And she says, shh, shh, shh, dear. There'll be more feasts. Don't you worry. Oh,
00:09:06
Speaker
Farnelin is going to say quietly to the elder next to her, what is wrong with it? And can you fix it? You think I'm a veterinarian? What is wrong with it?
00:09:18
Speaker
don't know. It's ridden with pollution, probably. It's like a manifestation of the corruption spreading across the island. Can you cast healing magic? No.
00:09:29
Speaker
She's going to slightly raise her voice, but in like in that calm way, so as not to alert the bear. She's going to quietly say, If you are capable of casting healing magic, anyone here, raise your hand slowly.
00:09:42
Speaker
And she looks out across the crowd. She's like standing very still, but she's like looking at everyone. The small child begins to raise its hand and her mother just takes it and forces it back down.
00:09:52
Speaker
Nobody else? ah Not to be bother, but we're largely minors and, uh... got a little jaunty without miners. We're mostly miners and that's about it.
00:10:09
Speaker
We're simple folk. Clearly. Okay, she's going to try talking to the bear again and she's going to say, a are are you, can you communicate? Nod your head if you might communicate.
00:10:24
Speaker
Okay, shoo, shoo, it's time to go. Shoo, everyone behind It is going to raise up a big paw and swipe at the mushroom and just knock it over.
00:10:36
Speaker
Brighanox and tiny wooden furniture go flying and it starts just like ha umful eat at the center of the the mushroom stem, just like picking it apart. from him Okay.
00:10:49
Speaker
Frick, Zach, you're so stingy with magic items. Is that something you've reflected on? I've thought about it a lot. The only thing I have is a hot rock. That is my only magic item.
00:11:02
Speaker
Sure. What am I going to look me Look me dead in the eyes and tell me what I'm going to do with a hot rock right now. Make hot lemonade. Okay.
00:11:13
Speaker
okay Okay, she's going to say, she's going to look at Stubb and she's going to say, you know how you climbed on my shoulder? yes On the count of three, you are all going to use me as a foundation.
00:11:28
Speaker
I will be one leg. On the other side, you are going to form another leg. You are going to stand on each other's backs, shoulders, and heads, and we are going to form a mass. And then, once we have formed a mass, we are going to, in unison, scream.
00:11:44
Speaker
One, two, shut up. One, two, three. The... to three the
00:11:55
Speaker
The thickest and heaviest of the Brigadocs form a base. The rest climb up onto the top of each other's shoulders until the tiny Brigadoc child who doesn't know healing magic sits upon the top.
00:12:07
Speaker
We're big now, right? i I mean...
00:12:11
Speaker
No. If you're one leg and they're the other, did you want them all on top of you? Okay, I see the tiny leg and I'm going to say, okay, too small. Everybody stack. Stack on me. Stack on me. Go. Quickly. Quickly.
00:12:26
Speaker
the same thing and scurry up your shoulders. The bunch are like perched upon your, you're not wearing your wig, sadly, but they perch upon your head. Almost forming your wig.
00:12:36
Speaker
In fact, I'm going to be willing to say you've got a wig of mouse-sized creatures perched upon you, towering probably an extra four, five, six feet above your head. Can I get a like a dexterity check to see if you can balance this?
00:12:52
Speaker
Just pure dexterity or dexterity saving throw? Well, it's really a saving throw per se. I think this is more acrobatic. We'll call it acrobatics. That's a seventeen 17. Whoa.
00:13:05
Speaker
Whoa. Whoa. We're good. Okay. Bears have very poor eyesight. It's important that we confuse and overwhelm it. On the count of three, we are all going to make a lot of frightening noise.
00:13:20
Speaker
One, two, three.
00:13:24
Speaker
Can I get an intimidation check, please? Thank you. That's a natural 17. Plus five is 22.
00:13:32
Speaker
22. This bear is big. This bear is scary. This bear is riddled with boils and bone spurs and it's just a real monster of a bear.
00:13:45
Speaker
But you rise up with the briganox and at the end of the day, this bear is still a bear. And it goes
00:13:56
Speaker
and then turns and runs back into the woods.
00:14:04
Speaker
yeah least you remember this day yeah I was going to say something, Death Bear, but if you want to say something, go ahead. When you start saying something, you leave these long pauses, and it makes me think that you're leaving open for me to say something. Okay, well, what I was going to say is that when you memorialize this day, you should call it Faradeth Day. Faraday. Faraday!
00:14:25
Speaker
Faraday. Faradeth. Faradeth. Faradeth. Faunelin. Faradeth. Daydark. That's both my names. With Faraday Daydark. Double day. There's ah a Brigannock dressed in a chaplain's outfit. Now, it seems to me that that's supposed to mean something to our fine community. But frankly, those are all just words that I don't really understand. Okay. Okay.
00:14:47
Speaker
You know what? Well, I've got you all. What I wanted to ask was, do any of you know in the mines where one might find the heart, the lair of Edigan?
00:14:59
Speaker
There's quiet mumbling, and then they all sort of look towards the elder, snuffle. Ah, you did save us with your quick thinking, so suppose perhaps we could tell you.
00:15:14
Speaker
It's not a place you could reach, though, so you gotta be careful. Well, maybe you don't, because you can't reach it. no What do you mean I can't reach it? It's... it's not part of the dwarven excavation.
00:15:28
Speaker
It's... well, why am I talking? Booth was the one who found it. And they look over at a Brighanoc wearing a tie-dye shirt with just a tangled web of brown hair.
00:15:40
Speaker
Almost looks like Glimke, in a way. And yeah, he's kind of got like a little potbelly, and he he looks up at you and says, Shadde was in the mines, and there's a little tunnel, little crack, maybe the earthquakes.
00:15:55
Speaker
Pretty small. Dwarves can't reach it, but I a i i could. Because you're teeny-weeny. Yeah, that's right. And I went in there, thinking maybe I'd find something shiny, something extra rare.
00:16:08
Speaker
And I gotta tell ya, you can't go five feet without tripping over a precious gem in tree of mine. But this place... It was... It was basically empty. Hollowed Oak Cavern, except for... Well... It almost looked like a tree.
00:16:23
Speaker
In the center of it, made of stone. Bingo. Could you find it again? Yeah. Excellent. Boof, you're coming with me. You'll be returned to your friends at the end of it. But in the meantime, you're going to help me save the island and by association, everybody that you love. You're going to become a hero. And then this day will live on in in for me as Faraday Daydark and Boof Day. Now that's something I could get behind.
00:16:47
Speaker
Hell yes. Okay, thank you all very much for the hospitality. It was charming. I wish you the best of luck. Wait a second. Our feast was interrupted, and with our quick thinking, our guests helped save the day.
00:17:00
Speaker
Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Because I should go now. Feast round two! And a couple of Brighinox start to prop the mushroom back up and some more to like take little pieces of wood and little hammers and start repairing it. And others start coming out of going into their houses and coming out with little, you know, little wheels of cheese and loaves of bread that are cracker sized. And they start singing a song, which I dare not repeat here for lack of musical improbabilities.
00:17:29
Speaker
do do do do I thought it was going to be offensive. It is, just not in the way you're thinking. Yeah, Brigannock people are really charming and warm, but they're incredibly racist. oh Yeah,
00:17:47
Speaker
Faunilin reluctantly is charmed because who wouldn't be charmed by this? Question. She's looking at all the mushrooms. She's going to like look at the elder and be like, will any of these get me high?
00:17:58
Speaker
Well, it depends. If you were to partake of Boof's house, then yes. Which one's Boof's house? That one over there. And you see there's like a there's like a Bob Marley poster on the wall outside That thing is pure psilocybin.
00:18:18
Speaker
We don't know much about this world, but we do know psilocybin. well what what What does it do? I don't know psilocybin. Oh, wait well, it will make you, uh, I believe the word is trip balls.
00:18:30
Speaker
Cool. Not for me, thanks. But if you prefer, we also have the, the enchanted grove, and I suppose we could part with one of our mushrooms, and thank you for your service.
00:18:41
Speaker
Yes, I would like that. Very well. Oh, oh, no, shush, hush, hush. Listen, listen, have you got one? Grunch! Get her a mushroom! Grunch, Grunch, come here, come here. Grunch, Grunch, Grunch. Yes!
00:18:54
Speaker
Have you got a shroom that will make someone susceptible to ideas and recommendations? Looking for a roofie? He says, hey, put no juice out of here! Hey, get out of here! Get out of here with that shit!
00:19:11
Speaker
Like, no, no, no, it's not like that. It's just if I want, like, let's say there's a chore that I had to do. It's like if there's a chore that I had to do, and I knew I was going to have to do it for the next 50 years, ugh.
00:19:22
Speaker
But, like, getting my head around that idea, is there a drug that would make that seem like, oh, yeah, that's not such a bad idea. i could go along with that. I mean, sometimes the Enchanted Grove has some unexpected side effects, but pretty unpredictable. Okay, give me the psilocybin one.
00:19:37
Speaker
You have been no help whatsoever. That's Boof's house.
00:19:42
Speaker
Okay. Thank you all so much for the feast. This has been lovely. And she gets up and she brushes herself off and she's she's like, okay, bye-bye, bye-bye. And she's shaking little hands and she grabs Boof by the scruff.
00:19:53
Speaker
And then with her and with her other hand, she scoops up his entire house. It's a big mushroom. It's like, you know, a couple feet tall. Great. She scoops up, she uses her body and she scoops up his entire house.
00:20:08
Speaker
Stump is going to run up your leg and say, oh, thank you, my lady. And tuck a little white sort of almost like translucent mushroom into your pockets. Oh, thank you, Stump. What's this do?
00:20:23
Speaker
I don't know. It's magic. No, for real though, what's it going to do? I don't know. If you eat it, something will happen. If you plant it, something different will happen.
00:20:34
Speaker
I don't know what though. She puts down the house. and She picks up a butter knife or like whatever these people carve their food with. And she is going to, she drops boof and she's going to delicately cut, like as if cutting a cake. She's going to delicately cut a slice out of the roof of this man's house. He's going to say, thank you so much for these gifts. You have been very generous.
00:20:55
Speaker
I wish you the best and I hope that we can work together. If you're interested in contributing more to the rebellion, you may find us at the artist's house and she gives the address as she knows it. Come discreetly.
00:21:06
Speaker
And if you want to speak to me, if you want to speak to me, but you're nervous to approach and she's going to, she knows thieves can't. So she's going to draw in the dirt with like, with the knife she's holding. She's going to draw in the dirt, a symbol, a thieves camp symbol for something along the lines of like news, urgent news discussion.
00:21:25
Speaker
And she says, leave that in a place where I will see it. I will know that you're trying to speak to me and I will meet you on the rooftop that we went down the chimney. Okay. All right.
00:21:37
Speaker
Great. Did you get all that? Really? Really? You got it. I got it all. my Mine's a steel trap. and Okay. I'll see you never. Okay. What the hell? I'm working with you. I don't know. As you start to walk away, he gathers everyone around. All right, everyone. So that was my friend.
00:21:55
Speaker
And she says, if we want help getting back home, we should talk to someone called Fishhead Franny.
00:22:03
Speaker
ah We did say that, actually. I warned him of the side effects also. I've been very heroic today. I'm not going to worry about that. Okay, goof. Let's go. my name's Booth. Okay, Booth.
00:22:14
Speaker
Let's go. Okay. Did you have to cut a hole in my house? It's going to get wet in there now. I'm going to get someone high later. So yes. Okay, sure. All right. Is it me? Do you want it to be? oh you know what actually? And she cuts off like a tiny, tiny piece for him and a slightly bigger piece for herself because it's a long way home and she wants to have fun.
00:22:38
Speaker
And she gets to walking. That's lot of walking for you today. Yeah. It was almost four hours of walking to get here. And now going to get almost four hours to get back. A bear just attacked. She's not spending the night here.
00:22:50
Speaker
fair You wander down. Actually, you don't have your guide. You've got boof.
00:23:01
Speaker
Yeah, and you just popped the psilocybin. Could I get a survival check, please? I'll disappear in the woods forever. Can I get advantage because I have Boof? I'm going to say disadvantage from the psilocybin, but and advantage from Boof.
00:23:21
Speaker
It's a natural 20. It's actually really nice. It's a really nice high. ah You feel great, actually. And, yeah you know, hey, you think for a minute, maybe I should go back to Boof's house and just take the rest.
00:23:34
Speaker
But you keep walking. And at one point you start wandering up a trail and Boof's like, no, dude, you go down there. That's going to take us straight to the mine. We don't want to go there, though. oh I'm off duty.
00:23:46
Speaker
And you course correct and you walk down the road. And after several hours, you see the lights of Ankhil in the distance. It is late at night, probably closing in on midnight at this point.
00:24:00
Speaker
And you arrive at the gate. And I'm going to say it's closed. Boof, are you seeing what I'm seeing? Oh, yeah, they close the gate like after dark.
00:24:11
Speaker
That shit looks close, bro. Yeah, that's a shipment coming in from the mines. They yeah they lock this like this down. That's literally crazy. yeah I don't know. I don't know how you talls do it.
00:24:24
Speaker
I am tall. Everyone always forgets that I'm tall when they talk about me. They're like, Clay, tower's over you. i'm like, no. No, I'm the same height as Clay. I'm taller with my wig on. You haven't seen my wig. Let's get you a wig.
00:24:39
Speaker
All right. Yeah, sure. Okay, cool. He hops off your shoulder and crawls inside a log. Guess we're sleeping here tonight. Okay. Fondalyn plunges her arm or whatever amount of her she could get into the log and then collapses on the ground and goes to sleep.
00:24:57
Speaker
Perfect. We're going to cut away to Glimke in the executive suite of the Green Sapphire. Boontar is coughing up water on the ground.
00:25:10
Speaker
He pulls himself up shakily to to like one knee and then stands up. He's rubbing the back of his head kind of closing his eyes aggressively and wincing.
00:25:24
Speaker
Geronimo, what? What happened? i was talking to you and then suddenly everything went dark. Uh, Boontar, I think you should take a seat. Take a little bit of a fall.
00:25:35
Speaker
all Alright, yeah. Jeez. Is there anyone else in the room? We'll say there's a couple guards, like, out on the balcony, having a smoke, but no one else.
00:25:46
Speaker
Okay, Glimmy's gonna come over to his side, help him sit down, kinda, like, get close. Buntar, I don't know how else to explain this, but this might come as a shock. In the cover of night, I assembled an elite strike team to execute a top-secret plan to eliminate...
00:26:04
Speaker
what I identified as top priority threats. And first on that list was a magical being. I think that you guys know as Fish Head Franny. I believe that the Rebellion may have been aligning themselves with this magical being.
00:26:19
Speaker
And I believe she just warged through you. She spoke to me directly to declare war on us. Could I get and persuasion roll? Mm-hmm.
00:26:31
Speaker
Mm-hmm.
00:26:34
Speaker
It's not very good. If I add any more context, can I go i get myself advantage if I add more context? I mean, right now it's a seven.
00:26:46
Speaker
I mean, going to say if you want to provide more context, I will i'll allow you to reroll, roll with advantage, but it will possibly raise the DC or have other unexpected consequences.
00:27:01
Speaker
Okay. Okay. Well, seven sucks. So I'm going to Speak a little bit. Give me some context. So I kind of like read this, give read this look of distrust, obviously, or or him trying to get some insight here. I believe she just warged through you to declare war on us.
00:27:20
Speaker
I believe that she was using this dark magic as some kind of attempt to intimidate us, but I think it just confirms what we had already feared.
00:27:31
Speaker
That the rebellion that is congregating at the gates of the Korak Mining Company is far more sophisticated than we anticipated. And I know, you're probably wondering,
00:27:44
Speaker
Why would i do something so bold on my first night as the head of security? But I believe that bold action must be taken to leave a lasting impression on these kinds of people.
00:27:59
Speaker
Give me another persuasion rule. Oh my god. That sucks ass. It's a 10. The steamed fish that Boontar was eating, you glance down at it and the eye is staring directly at you.
00:28:14
Speaker
And he pushes the plate away and moves his chair back. Come with me, Geronimo. Okay. And he walks towards the balcony where the two other guards are smoking.
00:28:29
Speaker
Okay. Okay. You follow? Like up to the threshold of the door, I think. Boontar is going to reach into his his pocket and he pulls out a a pipe and a little baggie of some pipeweed and he's going to pour a little in and he holds out a hand to one of the guards and they hand him ah a little matchbox and he takes out a match and strikes it and ignites the contents of the pipe and
00:29:00
Speaker
Starts to puff. Do you smoke, Geronimo? Uh, socially? Come. I guess you could describe. Come, enjoy. He, uh, holds the pipe out to you.
00:29:11
Speaker
Oh, god. Yeah, Glimki takes the pipe. Now, Geronimo. You do understand why your predecessor was let go, correct?
00:29:24
Speaker
I did explain this to you in ample detail. Because he showed signs of aligning with the rebellion, is how I understood it. That's an interesting interpretation, Geronimo, one you have been pushing since your arrival here.
00:29:38
Speaker
More so, rather, I would say it was taking unsanctioned large actions that ah run just an extreme amount of risk for Korak and its shareholders.
00:29:52
Speaker
He gave explosives to would-be terrorists, and you attempted to assassinate someone who has been very helpful to us over the past 20-some-odd years.
00:30:07
Speaker
has acted in good faith the entire time. And frankly, between you and me is the only reason we are in the position we are today. Fish and Freddy. Grab him.
00:30:18
Speaker
The two guards turn and go to grab you. Do you resist? Mmm. Can I just take a couple of seconds? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:30:31
Speaker
I will let you make a persuasion roll contested by their athletics. Oh gosh. As they attempt to grab you and you attempt to say, wait, wait, it's not like you dodging out of the way with athletics or acrobatics.
00:30:42
Speaker
It's the charismatic version of that. my god, that's actually insane how I've rolled. Fuck. so Oh no. I rolled a four plus four eight.
00:30:55
Speaker
I rolled a seven, a ten and an eight. This is a really hot start to this. Just got to get out of your system now. Shit. They also rolled an eight. oh Whoa.
00:31:06
Speaker
What does that mean? It means I'll say like one like puts like a hand on your sleeve. but like they don't like grab you forcefully. And I will say you've got one more chance to say something to Boontar to at least try to stop them. ah You can let it happen or you can like yeah you can try and talk them down. So I'd say you have a chance to talk them down. like They don't fully grab you yet.
00:31:31
Speaker
Can I try? Can I like, but they're holding on to me or I've backed up? We'll say like you backed up. like you like they grab One grabs your sleeve and then you say like, wait, wait, wait. then he lets you go. where He's like looking at you suspiciously.
00:31:44
Speaker
but Let me channel Geronimo Teagates for a second here. Yep. Okay. so this is ah this is like a... I'm trying to pull on everything that Glimke's learned since he's been here. So the relationship that we understand from the governor governor and Buntar. Buntar is not native to this island?
00:32:03
Speaker
Correct. Okay, that's good. So i'd I don't want to pull on that portion. Like, that's what I'm trying to like... What things does he know that he can use? Okay. Hey... I honestly think Glimki's gonna turn away from them and kind of beat himself up a little bit. Like, ah, stupid. i I'm sorry.
00:32:20
Speaker
I thought I was doing something big that was gonna make a splash. I've read this wrong, but can I try to do something while my back is turned? What's the something? I would like to use sleight of hand to stuff the pipe with black leaf.
00:32:42
Speaker
Everybody's getting high tonight. Go for it. Oh, God, please. This is three rolls. Statistically, we've got to get something
Failed Deception and Escape
00:32:50
Speaker
here. We're milking the shit out of this black leaf. Oh, my God. I hate my life.
00:32:59
Speaker
Oh, God. That's a 10. So it's an 11. Oh, shit. You're in such big trouble. They get another eight. Wait, are you serious?
00:33:12
Speaker
Oh, You're not the only one rolling bad tonight. Okay, okay, okay, okay. As you turn around, like slap your head a few times, reach into your pocket, pull out the black leaf, quickly pour it into the pipe. I will say that you have used the last of your black leaf in doing this.
00:33:28
Speaker
hu What do you do next? I think Klumki turns around with the pipe outstretched and his hands held together. and is like, to give it back to Buntar, and he's like, they can take me away.
00:33:40
Speaker
i i've I've expired. i tried. gonna ask for a deception roll. That's fucking insane. i actually wanna die.
00:33:51
Speaker
Not in game. In real life. I would never kill Goomkid. Jordan is canonically already dead.
00:34:02
Speaker
I rolled a five, so... Actually, I rolled a three. Plus two. Holy shit, that's so dumb. Man, bad luck. He will take the pipe from you.
00:34:18
Speaker
Looks down at it. Squints a little. No, I don't think so. think you're going to stay right here, Mr. Gates. I've got a few more questions for you. Mm-hmm.
00:34:30
Speaker
Where were you before you came to this island? I'll be honest with you, I was investigating a cult of round-earthers. On whose behalf? Oh, I work for a third-party subsidiary that Korok hired out to do audits.
00:34:45
Speaker
but Oh! And what is the name of this third-party subsidiary that Korok hired out to do audits? How does he look right now? Pretty, pretty okay at the moment.
00:34:58
Speaker
He's only barely, you know, touched the pipe. Actually, what it's worth, I will, he is a dwarf. He has advantage against being poisoned. I'm going to roll a constitution saving throw for him.
00:35:10
Speaker
That's not poison. Isn't it though? Isn't fantasy heroin poison? It's just a good time. It's having a good time. I will say the first puff, he does not look affected by it. Yeah, that's that's totally fair.
00:35:27
Speaker
The name Geronimo. ah Fuck. I can't. He's actually panicking right now. Lock in. You got this, Geronimo.
00:35:41
Speaker
Fake your period. it always works for me. yeah Oh, God. Geronimo, I will ask you one more time. What was the name of the subsidiary?
00:35:53
Speaker
Oh gosh. I literally am like, I'm so, I'm like at a loss. I'm like, I don't know. <unk> i honestly don't know.
00:36:06
Speaker
anything. Name a woman. Dispose of him. Oh no. The guards are going to grab you forcefully by the arms and they're going to start dragging you towards the edge of the balcony.
00:36:18
Speaker
Mm-hmm, okay. If you're gonna do something, you've got one opportunity to do it.
00:36:25
Speaker
Oh, god. They're gonna throw me off this thing. Oh, fuck. How high is this balcony? You're you're on, like, the fifth floor. Ah, that's not that hot. It's only 50 feet. fallen from worse.
00:36:41
Speaker
I don't know, my brain is, like, not working. You're not gonna resist. crazy. No, I'm just like my brain, real life brain is not working.
00:36:52
Speaker
That's fair. I put everything in five rolls and in five rolls I rolled one of them over a ten. Ten. Nine. a I'm trying to look at like what other things that I can even do. Six. This is making me anxious. Five.
00:37:10
Speaker
Four. I- Fuckin- Three. Two. Like I feel like I have to fight a little bit just to get myself some- like Combat. Yeah, like can I resist? Like what can I do here? You can resist.
00:37:23
Speaker
Give me a contested athletics check as you try and pull free.
00:37:28
Speaker
Oh, instead of being pushed off the balcony, you should jump off. That's very Always works for me. And your god will save you, because you're a good- Oh, nice. Yeah, great. Oh, you can't take damage! You can't take damage because you flowers! Oh, that's true. I rolled a four, so... That's crazy.
00:37:49
Speaker
Never mind. we're It's over. Goodbye, Mr. Gates. fuck Your employment has been terminated. and Wow, that sucks. What the fuck is in this? ah ah As you go flying off the balcony.
00:38:06
Speaker
Great. It is reminiscent of other times you have fallen, though the majority of those have been in the world of dreams and spirits. Air rushes past you. It yanks the prosthetic wig that you've been wearing on your chin away, goes flying through the air, and you hit the ground hard. Oh,
00:38:22
Speaker
You take 13 bludgeoning damage. I rolled pretty low. And as you lie there stunned on the ground, a few people scream. You pull yourself up on shaky arms, push yourself up to your knees, and you look on the ground in front of you is a single plumeria petal.
00:38:43
Speaker
Oh no. Fuck. Three remain. You look up at the balcony and Boontar... is we'll say pulling on his pipe once more. That'll be a natural 17 as this guy. Oh, he's hardcore.
00:39:00
Speaker
You see he locks eyes on you and points and the two guards on the balcony go running back into the apartment. And what do you do? Yeah, Gloomkey brushes himself off.
00:39:13
Speaker
What time is it now? It's late. We're going to say it's like the sun has exploded for the day. yeah it's like he was eating dinner, you know, so it's like a little after a sun-splosion.
00:39:25
Speaker
Oil lanterns are flickered on, lining the streets, casting it in a orange glow. Hmm. Oh my god. but All of this worked to be thrown off a balcony.
00:39:38
Speaker
Okay, Glimke shooketh concussed. Ears ringing. don't know, he's got like, god you know what? I don't know. Maybe this is ah the stupidest thing that he could do since not saying anything in the room. But he um he sees flashes of the fish in his mind and that eye staring at him.
00:40:00
Speaker
I think he's gonna run to the docks. Okay. You run. I will ask, yeah, are you trying to... and we'll say you take off. Quick enough, you feel Boontar's eyes on you as you run out of out of sight from his vantage point, but you hear shouting, and off in the distance, you hear his voice from far and above. He's going north!
00:40:23
Speaker
I will ask, are you trying to if you want to avoid detection from the guards who are after you, would you like to try and ah run them via like athletics, just like, you know, running faster, moving faster than they can?
00:40:37
Speaker
Or... hiding or are you just just going and hoping that they lose trachea can i lose some of this disguise yeah yeah i like that so you start just like ripping off the remaining bits of your disguise yeah no beard no wig Yeah, your hair streams out behind you. Lose the extra layers. Yeah, you had a hat on before. It's gone.
00:41:02
Speaker
You lose some layers. You lose your cloak. It's a warm summer's evening, so it's not too cold. And perhaps at one point you slow down, step into an alley, and you watch as the two guards run past you.
00:41:16
Speaker
and you just like kind of go down a block and then continue up and eventually you make it to the docks. It is your first time here since arriving on Mengen and you actually have to exit through a ah gate.
00:41:29
Speaker
shit So there's like a wall that surrounds the city and it extends to the north but it just doesn't encase the docks so you go if you land at the docks you then enter through the northernmost gate but it is currently open we're back in time a few hours Some guards look at you with interest as you run past, but don't attempt to stop you.
00:41:48
Speaker
And you see various tall ships, the majority of which bear the mark of the Korak Mining Company upon them. They've got very blunt utilitarian name, the geode, the spire, depths bounty, nothing too flowery. That one's a little flowery, maybe.
00:42:07
Speaker
jesus says And you are at the docks. he's like out of total loss i literally like even jordan is at a complete loss everything that yeah yeah thought um you know we will say as your head is ringing you reach the docks and we will cut away to clay give you a chance to think as you yeah Your disguise has been blown, not maybe in the way you anticipated, but in being a little too honest amongst all the deception.
00:42:37
Speaker
And we cut to Clay. You are alone. It is late at night. Glimki is off, you know, meeting with Boontar Stringamole. Faunelin went off with that little mouse creature several hours ago.
00:42:52
Speaker
You are back at Speakeasy Artworks and it is getting late. It's your understanding that security is going to be increased in the morning and time is rapidly running out.
00:43:07
Speaker
o We need to know some sort of combination. to get into the safe and neither Fawnlin or Glimki are back yet.
00:43:19
Speaker
Clay's probably just like pacing around like a worried mother whose children are away. like, oh, where these kids? Is um the artist lady back?
00:43:30
Speaker
Well, see, she was there for a bit, but she left few hours ago. She doesn't live at the studio. So she's gone. You are fully alone. Okay. Wow, everyone's off doing stuff.
00:43:44
Speaker
Dang, I don't know what to do either. Yeah, this is crumbling. Yeah, like our plans are like slipping through our fingers.
00:43:54
Speaker
Even if I go back to the office with the three rings, like, I can't figure out what the combination, i don't know. Maybe you can.
00:44:05
Speaker
Maybe you can't. Yeah, I don't know if Clay would go back by herself. How many days has it been? Like, how many days left on Fondolin's contract? More than you might think.
00:44:16
Speaker
It's been like two days. So she's got 12 days left? Because you made the deal in the morning. You then went to Ettingin's Grove. You were carried back to town by Sapfiend.
00:44:27
Speaker
You did your, ah then the following day rather was the big hullabaloo at Korak HQ. You then proceeded to again. This night After that, Glimki stayed up all night, the two you slept at Speakeasy Artworks.
00:44:42
Speaker
So it has been, i believe, a little over two days, like yeah two and a half days. Tomorrow morning, it'll be three days. And I will remind you, weeks are eight days on Zav.
00:44:53
Speaker
Oh, wait, was her wording two weeks? Two weeks. Two weeks? I got 14 days left. So it's actually like, yeah, I guess two weeks is 16 days. That's crazy.
00:45:06
Speaker
Wow. In this crazy mixed up fantasy world. Okay, well, Clay's got lots of time then. She's probably not too stressed. there's Still 14 days and both Faunelin and Glimki are off doing their stuff.
00:45:22
Speaker
Yeah, I think the bigger pressure is that you are aware that security will be heightened around HQ tomorrow, and furthermore, it'll be full of dwarves again.
00:45:32
Speaker
Right now, there's probably security, but it's not full of people working. Dude, we need to communicate because somebody could be killing Boontar right now. Because to Clay's knowledge, like, Glunki's on the inside. Like, he's going to take care of the dwarves and the security in the morning. and i mean, I think that's fair. Like, it's a valid answer is also you do nothing and you go to sleep and you wait for your friends to come back in the morning.
00:45:56
Speaker
You've got the option to do something if you want, but I think it is fair that with the available information that Clay just kind of has a ah quiet evening.
Dragonborn Allies and Plots
00:46:03
Speaker
Yeah, she might go back to visit those two dragonborn and, i don't know, hang out, do some McCrember rites and stuff.
00:46:13
Speaker
Sure. We'll say you wander back down to Artist Alley. You can't help but notice that there's a few more guards on this side of the bridge. They're not doing anything aggressive, but you ever like drive into ah a certain part of a city and you notice there's just a few more cop cars around. That vibe.
00:46:32
Speaker
As you move through, no one stops you, but you... You reach the glass dragon and yeah, we'll say that they are just about packing up as you, as you arrive and they, they, they greet you and say, do a reconsider our offer. You've decided to join us then.
00:46:49
Speaker
they not Not for for a long time, but I was hoping to come maybe give some explanations about what's going on.
00:47:00
Speaker
Since you've helped us so much, I thought you deserve to know, you know, what our goals are and what we're doing. Okay. Is this something that can be discussed out here on the street or should we?
00:47:12
Speaker
No, I think probably not. Is it okay if I come in? Of course. Come, come, come. come She'll go inside. Excellent. Yeah. Hammer. He walks over and on ah one of the work benches, he pulls off are this ah this stack of symbols that you provided.
00:47:30
Speaker
The Etta gang symbol. I suppose this is what you wish to discuss. Yes, kind of. like The truth is, we kind of just came to this island not knowing what was happening here.
00:47:42
Speaker
Yeah, actually, were actually trying to find a princess, and that's a whole other story, trying to fix some wrongdoings in my past. But since arriving here and finding out what's happening, it's really awful. And so me and my friends, we've decided that we need to do something different.
00:48:05
Speaker
about it. So that's what we're trying to do. We're trying to like, fix this place. I know, I don't know if it's really our place to do so. But it seems like if things have just been getting worse for years here, you probably know more you've been living here.
00:48:20
Speaker
I was just kind of wondering, like, what it's been like for you guys here. They look at each other, the shorter one looking up at the taller one. It's been difficult.
00:48:33
Speaker
With each passing year, things have gotten worse. More people have left. The air gets thicker. The ash gets deeper. For me, it's the the spirit of the people.
00:48:48
Speaker
it's It's paling, you can tell. it's It's not what it once was. The markets are often empty. People are hungry. That's why we're trying to keep the children out of trouble.
00:49:02
Speaker
Desperate times make for desperate actions, and mistakes can be made. Yeah. I wonder if I might ask, what is your end goal?
00:49:14
Speaker
You've given us these, the symbol to what end? Well, you guys have been doing a lot of good work trying to keep the children out of it. And I don't know, I think with the symbol and everything, we just want to bring some hope back to the people.
00:49:31
Speaker
Seems like everyone's spirits are so low and they're so resigned to what's happening because it's been like slowly polluting your island. But at the heart of it, it looks like it's the Korak Mining Company that's really destroyed this place.
00:49:47
Speaker
So I think we need to get rid of them I don't disagree, but how? They have the governor's support and she has absolute authority, so... How did that come to be? Like, what is the situation there with the governor?
00:50:06
Speaker
She was beloved. She... was fantastic artist. The work she could create were unbelievable, but more importantly, she was a good leader caring for anyone who came through her doors, listening to what they had to say, whatever problems they needed addressed.
00:50:32
Speaker
Aye, and that all changed when Korak set up shop on the island. She barely comes out now, has no time for the common folk,
00:50:43
Speaker
But we'd already given her a lifetime appointment. So unless we are to redraft our constitution, which thus far there's been little appetite for, we're more or less stuck with her and she's in bed with Korak. So Yeah, we saw that statue. The first thing we saw actually was that statue of her.
00:51:06
Speaker
a But I think that's, there's got to be more to it, like foul play. Actually, Lady Faunelin, she found out from from that crazy fish lady. do you know the crazy fish lady? I've heard rumors of the woman on the lake.
00:51:24
Speaker
Yeah, she's this really creepy fish lady who knows things. And somehow, Fonelin managed to make a deal with her and we found out that Buntar's trigomorile is keeping something important, a document that's important in a safe in his office.
00:51:42
Speaker
And actually, that's what the rings are for, to try and... if We think that he has these rings as a key to get into that safe. And there's a document in there that...
00:51:54
Speaker
could reveal something about the governor. That's why it's so important. Evidence of foul play, you say? Yeah. Like, I know that she was such a beloved figure, and for her to turn so suddenly and become what she is now, barely making an appearance, agreeing with the awful views of the Korak company, there's got to be something there. Like, they must have something on her.
00:52:22
Speaker
The tall dragonborn tongs puts a hand on your shoulder and says, she wouldn't be the first artist I've known who sold out. Perhaps there's something there.
00:52:33
Speaker
Perhaps there's blackmail or coercion or something that has caused her to turn on us. But I would desperately like to believe that she's Phydra is still the person I once respected.
00:52:52
Speaker
So perhaps if you can bring proof of that. Proof that they have done something to her have forced her to act in this way. Well, some smoke starts to billow out of the corners of Hammer's mouth.
00:53:06
Speaker
Aye, well, that would be something worth getting a little scrappy over, I reckon. Yeah, okay. I just needed to get this off my chest, I think. And as fellow worshippers of Macrog, I was hoping that you could help me kind of reconcile this burning feeling of like injustice at this whole situation. i don't know.
00:53:29
Speaker
It's just, it's really been weighing on me how I can help and make this right again. Because it really hurts seeing the situation that all these people are in. I think for some time, Hammer and I have chosen to focus on the divine inspiration McCrog brings to us.
00:53:51
Speaker
But sometimes you see you need to burn a motherfucker. That's what I'm saying. The three of us won't be enough. If you're to find this proof, that's one thing, but I think you need to give time for when they gesture over at the stack of Etta gang symbols.
00:54:11
Speaker
I think you need to give this time to grow for word to spread. You can't just well, I suppose we can, but most of the time you can't just will a fire into existence.
00:54:25
Speaker
You need enough tinder so that when that spark catches everything burns. Let word spread. And when the time is right, present your proof.
00:54:38
Speaker
And if it's compelling enough, the people will follow you to whatever that leads. Will do. That's what I was hoping for. You guys have been such a great help. And I'm sorry to burden you with all of this. But like you said, it's not enough for me to want to change things on my own.
00:54:56
Speaker
Our burdens are our own and they weigh a far before your arrival. If anything, you've given us a bit of hope. So thank you. Yeah, no, we're in this together. i'm a stranger to this island, but I feel a kinship with you guys.
00:55:11
Speaker
As do we. Oh, that's great. I do have one other question. These rings. Have you seen... Does Boontar make any like public appearances ever?
00:55:22
Speaker
Occasionally. he mostly sticks to his side of the island, though. He... has little interest in us and what we do unless it's buying up our property and expanding his reach.
00:55:34
Speaker
Whatever public performances or appearances he makes are typically on the other side of the river. Although I will say from my understanding, most of his time is consumed with his work.
00:55:48
Speaker
But occasionally someone will come from off island or the homeland and he'll be obligated to show them the sights at least for a few hours.
00:55:58
Speaker
As for his rings, I'm afraid I don't know much about them other than what you've told us. Yeah, we think they're the key to the safe, but it's not a safe that I've ever seen before. And I don't know if you would be any help with this.
00:56:13
Speaker
Clay's going to describe like the weird glass panel and like the indents for the rings and stuff and just see if they know anything about maybe the type of glass use since they're glass workers. If they know anything about where a weak point might be in the safe.
00:56:29
Speaker
This is a stretch, but they're like good with materials, I guess. It sounds like dragonglass. You won't be likely to break it with a pick or a sledge.
00:56:42
Speaker
It is forged in the hardest fire. it is magically enhanced. It is meant to be extremely secure. Perhaps it would be enough merely to insert the three rings into those three openings?
00:56:59
Speaker
Or do you think that there is more to it than that? I think there's some sort of combination component to it. The rings are probably not enough on their own.
00:57:10
Speaker
Interesting. Do you know how many digits? Would Glimki have told Clay anything? Because Glimki tried the ring, right? And then... Nothing happened when he tried it, though.
00:57:21
Speaker
Yeah, but he realized that needed a couple. We both learned those details separately, I think. Oh, I thought maybe you had already come back. No, I had known that the three rings, but I didn't know the... Oh, shit. Okay.
00:57:32
Speaker
The rings had a combination. but we But I already knew there was a combination. Yeah. Do I remember anything about the safe, about if there was any number of digits besides, like, three?
00:57:43
Speaker
Well, that's the interesting thing is like there was no, there's no, you, you, you made the rings, right? There's no engravings on them. You saw one of the original rings. There wasn't numbers engraved in it.
00:57:56
Speaker
So I think it is a situation where you don't really know exactly the mechanism by which the safe operates you've got a general sense but you don't really know the specifics and i think without those specifics it's hard for you to take a shot at i mean it's possible it's random it's a random sequence of numbers it's possible it's a meaningful sequence of numbers but without knowing even just like how many numbers you're looking for it's probably difficult Aha, but it's numbers. That's a clue.
00:58:34
Speaker
ah yes. Aha. Nine digits. Yeah, zero to nine. i don't know. I'm not above brute forcing this if I can't figure out the puzzle. That's what I've been trying to get at.
00:58:49
Speaker
So I guess Clay will just like sketch out the safe and just start like brainstorming like, oh, um I've never heard of dragonglass before. he said it's made in the hottest fire. Is there any way to break It it must be very difficult, but is there any way to work with it after it's been formed?
00:59:10
Speaker
It's hotter than stone. You'd have a better chance at digging through the wall than... breaking the safe open itself. who It's possible if the interior components are not made of the same material. It's expensive. It's hard to make.
00:59:27
Speaker
It's possible if you were to find an egress and gain access to the sides or the back, perhaps you'd have more luck burrowing through. But I imagine even then it's well built if you went to such extreme measures to keep it secure.
00:59:44
Speaker
Yeah, it's got vents for some sort of gas mechanism, I think. I don't know where the gas would be stored if there's a weakness there.
00:59:55
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know if there's anything else to be learned here but clay's probably just gonna like spend some time going over it and if there's not much else she'll just like say thank you and go back and go to bed i guess yeah say you spend a few hours you chat about the safe with them perhaps they show you some of their pieces tell you some stories of better days on the island oh that's nice And Clay goes to bed.
01:00:22
Speaker
We will cut, I think, I think we're going to cut back to Glimke because Fondland's currently sleeping in a log.
Governor Confrontation and River Escape
01:00:27
Speaker
Yeah. Glimke standing, maybe hyperventilating at the edge of the docks. Yeah.
01:00:33
Speaker
I don't want to sleep all night, but I'll sleep for a while. Yeah. Four hours, presumably. Sure. Yeah. Not sleep. Okay, what the fuck is up? Glimke is having a panic attack.
01:00:46
Speaker
He's standing at the edge of the water, staring into the the blackness that Fishhead Franny's domain, and he's trying to Get his heart rate to come down.
01:00:59
Speaker
What does he see around himself? Like on the way here, what is there? Like, is there any residential areas that still exist in this city? Like, is it all just mining folk? Are there yeah like original occupants of this island here?
01:01:15
Speaker
On this side of the river, it seems to be dwarves all the way down. I see. The only original architecture that you have seen was the governor's mansion.
01:01:28
Speaker
The guards at the gator dwarves, the, you know what I will say, give me a perception roll. Well, you're not going to believe this.
01:01:41
Speaker
eight. i I would believe it. Throw all those dice away. Yeah, you you look around. The guards you see are dwarves.
01:01:52
Speaker
Some of the employees working at the dock, though it is fairly late. You see a few are just working the last of the evening shift. Are dwarves. You hear a steam whistle go off in the background.
01:02:03
Speaker
Back further in the city and like you see several dwarves, like just like maybe ah a couple dozen dwarves exit from a building and disperse as their shift ends.
01:02:14
Speaker
Despite the fact that you've ripped off much of your disguise, you are still short enough that while you're a little short for a dwarf, no one's really giving you too much attention, at least for now.
01:02:28
Speaker
Okay, what things do I do i do have? stripped off the beard. Can I keep the pin? Sure. I'd say so. The security pin. didn't take the time to remove it from you. Pin.
01:02:40
Speaker
have my page of the Bible with the note on it. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Okay, he's racking his brain. He's racking his brain. Okay, the only thing is the governor. Oh, God.
01:02:52
Speaker
ah There's... Oh, my God. Okay. Well, fuck. Another bout of sprinting, I guess, to the governor's house. There's no one else I can talk to. like Not really?
01:03:04
Speaker
No. Are you trying to be sneaky with it? m I guess so. Okay. Give me a stealth roll. And if you're wearing your armor, I guess with disadvantage.
01:03:17
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No worries. Both were a five and a seven. Excellent. Wow. This is a prolific. This is shocking. This is actually insane. I think all the luck that you all used up in episode, what, 31? Dice Christ came to collect. Yeah. I need you to access whatever was in the air that night when you invented Geronimo T. Stilton. need you to lock into that. Oh, oh, oh, oh, copyright. Okay, my bad, my bad.
01:03:54
Speaker
Yeah, he's clanging up and down the alley right now. With that being said, can I use some of my Leon hands to give myself some health? Sure. I'm going to give myself 10 extra hit points because fuck this noise. um Yeah, just clanging up and down the the alleyways, trying to find his way back to the governor's place.
01:04:15
Speaker
Yeah, I will say as you draw close to the mansion, perhaps you're a block away You're trying to stick to back alleys. You're trying to stay off the main streets.
01:04:29
Speaker
Perhaps you're hiding behind a couple of barrels and you hear a pair of voices from the block ahead where the mansion is. And one says, Hey, someone just darted down that alley.
01:04:43
Speaker
I suppose we ought to go check it out. And footsteps begin to approach. They leave the gate? Mm-hmm. Fools. this isn't Is there another way around? Yeah, it's an alley. You can run down it. Okay, I would like to run down it and try to double back.
01:05:02
Speaker
You do so, and you round the corner, and you see the mansion, and there is still a half dozen guards at their post. Fucking shit, okay. Screw it. This is happening. Glimki's going up to the gate.
01:05:13
Speaker
and Okay. You no longer look dwarven. Yep. You look like a gnome, and as you approach, guards kind of rouse themselves to attention, and one steps forward and says...
01:05:26
Speaker
And who might you be? Uh, stiff arm badge at the end of it. I'm trying to walk through this guy with the badge outstretched. Halberds are lowered in front of you. I asked you a question. Nope, I'm gonna use Minor Illusion to, ah make my voice boom loud.
01:05:44
Speaker
And I'm gonna call out to the governor. Governor Fremata, I wish to parley. The dwarf punches you in the stomach. Mm-hmm. I'm gonna throw the badge at one of their faces. I'm just gonna, like a baseball, whip it at somebody.
01:06:00
Speaker
There's a scuffle. Fists are flying. Same thing. Booming. I'm using my illusion still. I'm booming. Governor Phaedra. Someone like slams the haft of their halberd down on your foot. It hurts. I'm going to through the scuffle, you take like two points of damage. And like in that you like, I think almost subconsciously and reach up to like the back of your head to touch the pedals.
01:06:21
Speaker
And all three still seem to be there. Mm-hmm. They couple them like wrestle you to the ground. one like kicks you in the ribs for another point of damage. And then you hear a voice from the mansion say, what is the meaning of this?
01:06:34
Speaker
ah One of the dwarves stands up and says, sorry for the intruder, ma'am. This individual is causing a ruckus and we're just ah taking care of him. Nope, I'm going to interrupt again. More booming voice, even under the boot.
01:06:48
Speaker
um I'm going to use the the booming voice to say, My name is Glimki Treefellow. I am a gnome from the province of Dwells. I am the patron of the nature spirit, Valare, and the keeper of Etigan.
01:07:01
Speaker
And what do you want? To talk. Very well. The gate is opened and you are dragged through it. They do not let their hands off of you.
01:07:15
Speaker
And you are brought to stand in front of the governor who looks the same as you saw them the day before. What does it look like in here? ah You're not inside. oh okay. Yeah, you're you're you're like on the front step.
01:07:29
Speaker
It's just like I said, this multi-story wooden mansion. It is much more reminiscent of the architecture on the other side of the river, though it is it's big. It's nice, though it's slightly in disrepair. You pass through this gate, which has barbed wire at atop it.
01:07:44
Speaker
It's almost more of like a military compound. The curtains are drawn everywhere. The door is open and you can see the governor standing before you, standing in the, just like past the entryway. You can kind of see past her into the space beyond. It is fairly dark though, because it is likely because it's late at night. So most of the lights are out.
01:08:04
Speaker
seems to be a fairly nice entry hall with a large set of stairs leading up to the second floor. But she stands in front of you with her arms crossed. Go on.
01:08:15
Speaker
Do they help me stand up here? They're holding me. Yeah, they're like holding you up by the arms. Okay. Your feet. I'll say your feet like like your toes. You're not quite dangling. Like your toes are kind of scraping along the ground. I don't know if it was ignorance or some sort of blinders you put on yourself to convince yourself that what you've done to this island is okay and that maybe Etigan would scurry off to some other island and find a place to call home, but he's here, but barely, and I fear that by morning that light is going to be extinguished.
01:08:55
Speaker
And i just came here to say that that's on you. Whatever deal you've struck with the people, the Korak Mining Company, I sure hope it was worth it However, that light, that spark, it doesn't just live in the forest.
01:09:16
Speaker
It exists in every single person that lives on this island. And I think you know, as well as I know, that a spark is enough to start a fire.
01:09:28
Speaker
And it could turn a quiet ember into a raging flame. And Glimki, I think, is like choking back tears at this point. Et again might not make it to morning.
01:09:39
Speaker
And hell, I might not see another day. But if you let Buntar strike me down, I will become a martyr.
01:09:53
Speaker
Let me ask you a question. Does Glimki believe that? Yes. Give me a persuasion
01:10:05
Speaker
roll. Ten.
01:10:10
Speaker
Dude, get different dice. Yeah. Can he get advantage? Because that was a nice, a good ass speech. that was a great speech. And he believes. walks she walks up and grabs you by the chin and bends down slightly to look you in the eye.
01:10:29
Speaker
We met before, didn't we? You bet your ass. She leans in close, puts her lips up against your ear. Let it burn.
01:10:42
Speaker
I get paid either way. She stands up and steps back, looks at the guards. Get them out of here. Toss him in the river, it's where he belongs.
01:10:54
Speaker
And they drag you out into the night through the streets. They do not let you slip free. And after some time, for it's a fairly large city, they bring you the edge of the river that divides the city.
01:11:13
Speaker
And without a second thought, throw you through the air for the second time tonight and you land in the river with a gigantic splash. The water is... dark a little bit of it gets in your mouth and it tastes acidic your eyes clear and you look into the dark and you see a dozen fish staring at you with human eyes you pull yourself to the shore up onto the opposite side i'd imagine and find he yourself in the artist district soaking wet the piece of paper in your pocket
01:11:52
Speaker
Ruined. Your badge gone in the scuffle. Back to speakeasy artworks. Yep. It's the only place I know.
01:12:02
Speaker
You squelch through the night. Clay, as you are lying down on one of the couches, getting ready to sleep, you hear a boom, boom, boom, boom at the door. I open the visor. Is it glimki?
01:12:16
Speaker
You don't see anyone. And then you look down and you just barely see glimki. ah Glimke, how are you doing? i think he just collapses.
01:12:29
Speaker
That's not the password, but that's okay. I opened the door and I pulled Glimke inside.
01:12:37
Speaker
We're going to cut away to Fanoan.
Fauniline's Deceptive Journey
01:12:42
Speaker
Fondalyn's not sleeping there the whole night, if I may. Can I just Fondalyn lies down on the ground. She shoves her arm into a log. She's like, I'll just sleep here. i'm just going to sleep here.
01:12:54
Speaker
then she remembers that she doesn't sleep. And then she remembers that she has a timeline and that not only is she on the Boontar Strigamol timeline, she remembers that she's on an additional timeline, which is that that building that they need to get into is going into lockdown tomorrow.
01:13:12
Speaker
And I think she i don't know how long she lies there because she's zooted, but she sits up and she she takes her collapsible fan out of her pocket. It's one of the only niceties that she that she brought with her. And she immediately shoves it down her throat and makes herself throw up.
01:13:32
Speaker
yeah She's going to try to unhigh herself. Like she's going to shove this thing down her throat. She's going to drink water from her canteen. She's going to slap herself in the face. And then she's going to look at this wall and she's going to say magic ropes. So they're forth.
01:13:45
Speaker
Excellent. From inside the log, you hear shush, I'm sleeping, dude. Sorry, and she picks up the entire log. um Can I ask you something else?
01:13:56
Speaker
Please. Can i Really? You don't mind? don't mind. Thanks. Sheesh, such a nice DM. What I would like to know is, Fondalyn is sleeping outside of a wall. Glimke has been brought to many corners of this city tonight. Did Fondalyn at any point, while she's hunkered down over a puddle, splashing herself in the face with water, at any point did she hear the noises of Glimke?
01:14:18
Speaker
No. It is a big city. is quite some way away from you. I would say no. Valid. she's still ah She's still climbing that wall.
01:14:29
Speaker
Sure. No roll necessary. The rope slithers forth and climbs its way like a creeping vine up the wall surrounding Ankyil and we'll say wrapped itself around a parapet and you and Boof are lifted into the air.
01:14:47
Speaker
Over we go. You reach the top. Boof pokes his head out from the log and says, Whoa, oh dude. Maybe that's his voice. I've been trying to find it. And I think that might be it.
01:14:59
Speaker
We're pretty high off the ground. Is there anyone below that would see me if I came down? Give me a perception roll. Any effect? Because I took, solo I took a small amount of psilocybin. Yeah. Yeah. I'm saying you're sober.
01:15:10
Speaker
You took wow throw up worked you took a small mousee honestly probably wasn't necessary you took a small amount of psilocybin. and then walked for four hours Okay, cool. i see You didn't ask if you needed to throw up. You didn't even ask if were feeling any ill effects. Maybe it wasn't related to the drugs. I got an 11 on perception.
01:15:30
Speaker
You look around and you don't see anyone immediately below you. She is going to look while she's up at a high vantage point and figure out where Artist's Alley is and where the hideout is. And then she is going to hop down and go there expeditiously.
01:15:45
Speaker
Yeah, so you are on the dwarven side of the river. Okay. Then I think, I really think she would go to the hotel and see if she can signal Glimke because she thinks Glimke is there.
01:15:58
Speaker
Okay. I'll say that's, that's, that's great. You walk through the streets. You more or less know the way by now. You are a person of interest, but you are also in a decent disguise.
01:16:09
Speaker
And so you manage to get to the hotel without being stopped. And you see that there are numerous guards stationed outside. She's going to put down the log because carrying a log into this hotel would look conspicuous. She's going to like put it beside a house. And then she is going to, she's just going to look at the hotel.
01:16:30
Speaker
Are any lights on inside? Yeah, some. It's pretty late at night, right? It's pretty late, so I'd say like a couple of the rooms, like the lobby, you can see light coming out of that.
01:16:41
Speaker
And then some from like the second and third floor. I would say you look up and you see that there are several shadowy figures on the fifth floor balcony. And give me a perception roll.
01:16:52
Speaker
I love to give perception rolls. That's an 18. Take notes, Jordan. That's how you do it. Yeah, take notes, Jordan. Try rolling about two. Yeah, that's crazy. You she look and you see several dark shapes standing on the fifth floor balcony. We'll say you see a little spark of light as someone lights a cigarette.
01:17:13
Speaker
And then you look further up and you see another couple figures standing on the roof. Standing on the roof? Like security guard style? Mission Impossible style? Like they've got heavy crossbows and appear to be added security.
01:17:28
Speaker
Okay, cool. So Fauniline's not sneaking in.
01:17:34
Speaker
Okay, there's ash everywhere. Yeah? Always. Frick, Fauniline's going to do the unthinkable. Fauniline is going to cover herself in ash. She's going to pick up dirt and rub it on her elbows and try to get it under her nails and rub it along her neck and into her hair. And she's just trying to make herself look like Oh, like she does manual labor for a living.
01:17:55
Speaker
And when she's satisfactorily grubbed up, she is going to hurry into the inside of the building. And without even waiting to get to the front desk, she as soon as she comes in, she's going to say.
01:18:08
Speaker
I'm going to say you don't get inside. Ooh. The security steps in front of you as you make your way to the entrance and say, I don't think so. Sorry, don't Why don't you head back over the bridge where your kind belongs?
01:18:21
Speaker
I don't know what's going on, sir, but, um, there's a real problem in the mines. And I was sent, I was told I've got to get security and I've got to alert them. You see, there's been a big problem. It seems like somebody stole some blast powder and, um, they've used it. They've used it in the mines. There's been a bit of an explosion. And, um, i dismiss it's my first day on the job. They're making an equity, diversity, and inclusivity ah push. So they said that they could hire someone who wasn't a dwarf. And I said, well, that's great. Cause I've been wanting a job. Me man says I need a job, but, uh, I'll first stay on the job, I'm in the mines, and there's a big fucking explosion, man, and and oh lord, there's blood and guts flying everywhere, and I'm gonna say this to my mom, I'm gonna say, Mom, you shoulda let me become a cobbler like granddad.
01:19:06
Speaker
Give me a deception roll with disadvantage. Disadvantage! Yeah. Famously, well the mines hired dwarves and brigginogs.
01:19:17
Speaker
Well, I rolled a 14 plus a seven is a 21. That's the disadvantage? I forgot about the disadvantage part. The thing you were literally just complaining about? Oh, oh, oh! Well, the second world was in nineteen so twenty one was a 19.
01:19:31
Speaker
So 21 stands. 21 stands. How is that possible? that I took all the good rolls for me. ten He steals all the dice luck. He rolls 19 insight.
01:19:44
Speaker
I think that's cheating. 21's bigger than 19. It's fine. It's all fine. Kind of sus, though. his He rolls in a 19 inside and looks at you and says, yeah god That's terrible.
01:19:57
Speaker
I know. I'm going to say this to my mom. I'm going to say this. It's terrible, mom. I'm traumatized now. Enough about your mom. Why are you here? Because there's been a big, I was told, I was, so I was said, you've got to go tell him, you've got to go get security. I was told to get security. I don't know who it is, it's my first day, but I was told to get the security guy.
01:20:19
Speaker
What are you standing there for? There's blood and guts everywhere, man. Go get him. He turns to one of his compatriots and says, go on then. Go get the new head of security. and one of the dwarves runs inside and a chair is brought. We'll say you're brought into the lobby and you're you're put into a chair and one of the hotel staff looks at you with just like utter disdain and you hear footsteps coming down the stairs.
01:20:44
Speaker
They are heavy. And a second later, rounding the corner, you see a large individual not quite a dwarf something a little taller and you recognize this individual he was in boontar strigal's office perhaps you heard his name it is wembley and he is wearing a crisp suit and he's got a dark ring on one of his fingers he cracks his knuckles and he looks down at you and says now what's this about an explosion at the mine well sir you see that well hang on
01:21:19
Speaker
You're, you're the head of security, Arr? That I am, as if he looks over at a, uh, a clock on the wall. About three hours ago, I reckon.
01:21:30
Speaker
Look, I've only been here one day, but I can tell you, I would die for this company. I just, I don't know what we're going to do because there's been a big problem in the mines. I was sent by my boss. I think he's my boss. I don't, nobody introduced me to anybody. Nobody will talk to me because I'm not a dwarf. They said, go go work in the corner. I don't even know who I report to. Am I getting paid? I think so.
01:21:50
Speaker
Anyway, I don't even know. I don't know anything except I know that there was a big explosion and somebody said, oh, they've got the blast powder. Guess we know what happened to that. And they said they looked at me and they said, oh, wait, tall one, you've got long legs. That's, that's how you get over the river because you're on the wrong side of it normally. And they told me to run here and they told me, but now I'm looking at it and I'm thinking, what what am I going to do? Because if you come, then Mr. Strigamall is going to be alone. No, I will not be coming. We will send individuals to look into the matter.
01:22:18
Speaker
Would you mind telling me what ah other information you have? Is it... Fatality count? More importantly, will there be a disruption to our production schedule? Oh, that's what everyone was saying. They were saying, oh, don't mind the bodies. Oh, step over the bodies. Oh, 45, 50 men, don't worry about it.
01:22:35
Speaker
Oh, look at the, look at the little, uh, the rat things. Can't remember what they're called. My mom says, my mom says, a rat's a rat. You know, my mom said, back in the shoe shop, there was always rats. And, rats are rat. Don't, don't go getting attached to them. But my, my, myself, I had a pet rat. Do you hear a whisper from your pocket?
01:22:52
Speaker
We're bringing hugs. I left him outside. he left the log outside. ah this son of a gun. And you, the Wembley looks down and says, sorry, did you say we're brigginogs?
01:23:05
Speaker
Oh, Brighanogs, that's what one of them said to me. Sorry, I was just recalling one of them said, we're Brighanogs, all spooky like. And I try to ah impersonate Boof's voice because I've heard it for more than a minute. We're Brighanogs. And um anyway, they said, you've got to go and tell security because not only has there been a mass fatality incident, but also the um the mining operation is going to be massively disrupted.
01:23:30
Speaker
Oh, and also, they were looking around and they said, this is probably only one or two barrels of blast powder, and what went missing was a lot more. So, probably there's gonna be, like, I don't even want to say it, because my mom says, my mom says, don't say the bad thing.
01:23:46
Speaker
Don't even think about the bad thing. Only think about the good things. Who told you that more than two barrels of blast powder had been taken? when Nobody told me anything. I'm just listening and they're saying, oh, there was so much blast powder taken. This can't be all of it. Look at the size of this. Think about how much more they can do. It was really gleaned from context. You see, I'm a bit sharp. You know, nobody thinks I'm sharp because I'm an elf. But actually, you know, these these ears of mine hear a lot and I don't just hear it. I pay attention. My mom always says, you are always listening that one. And then she hits me around the ears. But I think listening is not such a bad thing. I mean, look at me. I mean, very helpful right now.
01:24:24
Speaker
Give me deception roll, please. That's going to be 15. holds up a hand as you keep chattering at him.
01:24:34
Speaker
You see that just like this thick hand, this ring straining at the finger. Enough. serious Sir, yes, sir. You've obviously suffered a shock. Thank you for informing us.
01:24:47
Speaker
He looks over at the desk staff. Please see that this individual is given a room for the night so that they may rest and recover from their ordeal. Thank you for informing us.
01:24:59
Speaker
We shall send a team to provide assistance. That's great news. And can I just check with you? i just, I hope it's not an impertinence and I know I've taken up so much your time. My mum always says, she always says, you're too yappy. You know, you listen and that's fine, but you talk too much too. And you can't be talking and listening at the same time. And they says, actually, mum, you can because your ears and your mouth both work independently of each other. It's like your eyes and your asshole. But um I was saying to my mum, what was I saying? Oh, I was saying, ah that Mr. Strigamall gave me a new chance at life.
01:25:29
Speaker
I thought I'd be a cobbler, but honestly, this is better. Makes better use of me long legs and me long arms. And um I like how my head scrapes the top of the cave. And the point of it is, I would just hate it if you left Mr. Strigamall without sufficient guards. So I just wanted to check, like, is he gonna be, you know, guarded tonight?
01:25:47
Speaker
I'm gonna have him just make an inside roll independently of that. but He seems a little distracted. He like kind of glances upstairs and... Mr. Strickmore will be amply protected, I assure you. Thank you.
01:26:00
Speaker
We have more than enough security personnel as well as mining crew to cover both locations. That's great news. I'm really happy to hear it. Yeah, that's just fantastic, it is.
01:26:11
Speaker
Sir, can I just ask you a question, sir? No, you can't. I'm afraid I've got work to do. He looks at one of the guards to the door. Please alert the mining crew 43 that there has been an incident at the mine. They are required to report there immediately to search for survivors and to ensure production is not interrupted.
01:26:30
Speaker
While you're at it, you may as well bring crews 35 through 39. And the guard salutes and runs off into the night. While he's talking, yep he just turned his back to me. No. I want to see a room key. No, he like, oh he did you passed you. he So you said he turned to, okay, okay. Sorry. Well, that's great. I just want to, yeah I want to look at him and I want to, ah I want to see if there's a room key on him that I can see.
01:26:50
Speaker
Give me a perception roll. Oh, I'm rolling so well tonight. I believe my perception is a plus four. 23. Okay. It's not like he's got a key ring around his his belt loop or anything, but you can see a slight, for lack of a better word, bulge in his pocket.
01:27:08
Speaker
There's clearly a set of keys in there. Fondalyn's going to start hyperventilating. She's going, it was just so, you know, i'm starting to think about it. I'm starting to think about all the bodies and somebody's, somebody's arm exploded and the hand, it flew across the room and it slapped me in the face. It backhanded me across the face. Oh, the humanity. And she's going to like stumble forward and collapse onto him and kind of like grab him around, like the, like grab him kind of by the shirt, but like not too far from his waist and like shake him and go like,
01:27:37
Speaker
You have no idea what I've seen! It's not enough crews! You've got to send them all! And while she is shaking him and assuming he's gonna push her off of him, she is going to try to sleight of hand.
01:27:48
Speaker
First, I'm gonna need a performance roll. Okay, well. The Pied Piper comes calling for us all. That is going to be a 10. I am an actor. Oh, oh, I'm an actor!
01:27:59
Speaker
Sure. I'm an actor! It gets me something. Something. Yeah, so you can make the roll with advantage. Oh my god. Well, that helped a lot. That says 16.
01:28:11
Speaker
The DC was 15. If you roll below that, you would make your sleight of hand with disadvantage. You may make your sleight of hand. This is one my only sleight of hand rolls that I've ever made in this campaign as a rogue. I was thinking about that. Hasn't been a relevant skill.
01:28:24
Speaker
That's a 19. That is 25. that is a twenty five 25. He doesn't like shove you off. He just like snaps this big meaty hand at the security staff. And while he's like looking over his shoulder at them exasperatedly, a couple of them come up to try and guide you up to the room that you've been provided with.
01:28:42
Speaker
And you reach in, grab the key and are dragged away. Awesome. We'll say it's a small small ring. There's a couple of keys on it. We'll say two keys that look similar in design, but are not identical.
01:28:56
Speaker
That's great. Not even worried. Are we cool to keep this Gambit train running or you want to cut to someone else? Because I got stacks on stacks. The cut is to two people sleeping in a depressed funk.
01:29:06
Speaker
Cool. Wait, wait, I don't think, Glimki's not going to make it to morning. That's not for sure. But keep this going.
01:29:18
Speaker
Welcome to the Arcane Amphitheatre, a Dungeons & Dragons actual play centered around a cast of morally ambiguous redeviants. Join us as our cast attempts to atone for the sins of their past in this roleplay-heavy, character-driven story. He's a really good friend. ah You're all really good friends. Our troop is sure to bring you laughter.
01:29:41
Speaker
I am in the possession of magic-enhancing drugs. Tears. The pain that I've endured, it can't be for nothing, right? Hope. I did the unthinkable, and you better believe I will do the impossible.
01:29:57
Speaker
But most importantly... Characters worth rooting for. I summon a visage of a person that I wish I could have become but never could. Don't miss out when the curtain rises at Arcane Amphitheater. Available anywhere you get your podcasts. With new episodes dropping every Wednesday. We hope to see you there.
01:30:16
Speaker
Gang ho.
01:30:21
Speaker
Fondalyn is going to order a ton of room service. And she's going to she's going to order with things with a lot of mushrooms. As we've established, this is a pretty meat-heavy restaurant, hotel restaurant. But I'll say they've got steak, and steak is often served with mushrooms, so you could order steak with just a ton of extra mushroom.
01:30:40
Speaker
Sure. Fondelin orders steak with mushrooms and like a pitcher of something. Like a pitcher of something sweet. Like a wine? Yeah, she's going to order wine and a bottle of spirits.
01:30:53
Speaker
Okay. I have money. How much is this going to cost me? Nothing. Wow. On the house. As soon as it arrives, Fondalyn is going to set about mixing her big chunk of psilocybin into the mushrooms with the steak. And she is going to spike the wine with the spirits so that the wine is like 40% stronger than it should be. And she's going to, you know let's say she calls up for some sugar. She's going to sweeten the wine so it tastes really good.
01:31:18
Speaker
Puts the cork back on, shakes it, tastes a little, tastes good. The goal is to place the food out in the hallway, write a little card with very flowing calligraphy script that says like security's hard works, bon appetit. And she's going to sign it the name of the waiter, which we learned, not the waiter, the the guy who was working in the hotel that we met that was snobby and bad at his job. She's going to sign it with his name and a big flourish. And she is going to...
01:31:44
Speaker
place it down and she is going to give a very polite the the knock of a servant on a door which she has heard many many times and then she is going to full tilt sprint back into her room now i might need to ask are you trying to change your appearance before you step out because you are currently wearing trash clothes covered in ash She wants to do this when the hallway is empty.
01:32:08
Speaker
She doesn't want to be seen. So changing clothes, she's like, she doesn't have anything to change into. She's like, she could wipe the ash off of herself, but she like rolled herself in grime. Like this is more than a, like she might try to straighten herself up a bit on the chance that someone sees her. But the goal here is to avoid being seen.
01:32:25
Speaker
And if she's seen, then she'll figure out what to do then because she doesn't think she's going to pass as a servant right now. Okay. Would you like to make a stealth roll? I would love to, more than anything in my life.
01:32:36
Speaker
Oh, bless these dice. Jordan, do you want to borrow these dice next time you have to do something important? not That's a dirty 20. No, we'll just keep rolling under 10. yeah Just keep getting getting thrown in rivers. No big deal. yeah It's a cosmic balance in in rivers and off balconies. and Yeah, you're just getting thrown around tonight.
01:32:54
Speaker
You step out into the hallway. You carefully step up. It's a nice hotel. The stairs don't creak. And I'll say you sneak up the third floor, the fourth floor.
01:33:07
Speaker
And as you reach the stairwell leading up to the fifth and final floor, there's only one room up there. You peer around the corner and you see a pair of guards standing watch outside of the door.
01:33:22
Speaker
Tell me this, is there anywhere in this hallway that a bitch could hide? Is there like curtains on the windows that a person could hide behind? Is there furniture that someone could duck behind? She's not looking to do that with the tray of food that she has in her hands, but maybe that could come in handy shortly.
01:33:38
Speaker
I would say that there's some curtains, ah maybe even like a little plush bench in shades of pink and cherry wood. I would argue that the curtains are something one could hide behind.
01:33:50
Speaker
would the guards not be there? So if the guards weren't there, you could presumably hide behind the curtains, not get noticed, but it's just kind of an open hallway. you know, it's like a very short hallway, basically just leading into this fifth and final floor, right?
01:34:04
Speaker
Yeah, problem. She is she is going to go find a servant. who isn't one of the ones that brought the food to her. Okay. And as soon as she finds them, she's going to say, right, so sorry to be a hassle. Never been in a hotel this nice. I just feel like mucking the whole place up. Honestly, you must feel like a prince working here every day. I felt like a princess in the mines and it was only because there were so many gems around, you know. I assume that princesses have lots of finery. Don't know, never been one. Thing think about them a lot though. I love the stories. Anyway, all I wanted to say was them this was brought to my room by a mistake and I'm thinking based on the note, you know, Mr. Strigamall enjoys securities, thirsty work, etc. I'm thinking it was meant to go up to Mr. Strigamall's room and it's gotten cold. So I'm just thinking, I'm just thinking, and would you mind?
01:34:52
Speaker
taking it up there. i don't i I thought about bringing it up myself, but then I thought, so you know, the people who work here know what they're doing, and they know all the niceties. And every time I'm talking, well, I put my food in my mouth. And you know, it's not surprising because my granddad was a cobbler, so I guess feet kind of come naturally to us. But, um, yep.
01:35:10
Speaker
ah I gotta say, first off, ah kudos to you. Because, uh, i was I was like, where's the lie? Where's the lie that gets her out of this one?
01:35:21
Speaker
That's a good lie. Thanks. The staff member says, of course. Sure. Sorry. Thanks for alerting us to this. We're usually much better than this. No, you're amazing. I think you're the best in the world. I mean, look at this place. It's gold. It's marble. It's shiny. It's immaculate. Your posture's incredible. Mom always says I slouch, but you know what? I'm tired of being taller than everyone else. I want to be a dwarf too.
01:35:45
Speaker
He takes the plate from you and walks away with us as you're like as you're still talking behind him. Okay, you take care then. You have a good night. And um she's going to go back to her room and she's going to wait the amount of time that it took for her to get high after she tried the mushrooms. Okay.
01:36:03
Speaker
I'm going to say the combination of Blackleaf, he Boof's house... Extra alcohol heavy wine.
01:36:16
Speaker
my god. I'm going to say this is a DC 18 for Boontar to resist any ill effects. Wow. Wow. yeah But he does have advantage.
01:36:30
Speaker
I would like to point out that I'm actually not trying to get Boontar high right now. Faunelin has no idea what's going on up there. Faunelin wants his security team to get high. Like she tried to address the note. She tried to order so much food that it was like food for everybody.
01:36:45
Speaker
And she tried to like imply in the note that it's like your security team's doing a great job here. Boys have some food. She wants ok everyone. She doesn't care if Boontar eats. She needs everyone else too. Okay.
01:36:55
Speaker
But they're all dwarves. So they're all dwarves. Yep. Yep. So I'm going to roll two constitution saves both with advantage, both DC 18. Okay.
01:37:11
Speaker
You wait for 45 minutes. Yeah. You sneak back up the stairs and hear a loud belch as the guards rolled an 18 and a 19 respectively. Oh, gosh dang it. Good meal.
01:37:30
Speaker
We don't often get perks like this, but it looks like the boss is starting to treat us right after all the fricassee. Is that the word? I think you mean frittata.
01:37:42
Speaker
Both Meikle siblings blessed by the dice god. Troublesome. All right.
01:37:49
Speaker
They didn't get high. There's security all up in the room. Even if I get in there. You also don't have a weapon, I will remind you. Save for a magic rope, which I know you're jonesing to use. I literally was just thinking about it. Okay, Boof is with her.
01:38:03
Speaker
We'll say he's like falling asleep in the room. He's like curled up on a pillow with your This useless, this useless shit. If you specifically wanted to bring him, then I'll say you could yeah wake him up and drag him Boof is my only ally. This is a team sport. Yeah, he's your little Pokemon. She's going to wait around the corner and she's going to say, okay, let's just pause. Let's just pause for a second. AO pause.
01:38:25
Speaker
Here's the thing. Here's the thing. Faunelin suspects Glimke is not here, but she thinks something bad happened to him because the guy this guy Wembley came downstairs and said, like,
01:38:40
Speaker
I'm the head of security, right? So she's pretty sure something bad happened to Glimki. She doesn't know that Glimki's not still in the room. So ideally she wanted to get in there and try and get Glimki out. And if she was able to assassinate Boontar Strigamall, she would have done it. Obviously that's not in the cards.
01:38:57
Speaker
But I just feel like the smart thing to do is to leave because I can't think of anything else to try. But if I just leave, then everything I've spent the last half hour doing accomplishes nothing.
01:39:09
Speaker
I mean, sometimes the dice tell a story, you know what i mean? Like it's frustrating because like I'm like, I would like if Glimki had rolled higher and, you know, these dwarves had rolled a little bit lower. There's other plans and other schemes and other opportunities to, you know, enact the plan you want. You did send a bunch of security teams to the mines.
01:39:27
Speaker
You have to Glimke pull a punch back into the screen. Okay, let's fucking go. Last gambit. All on the line. Here's what's going through Faunelin's head. Faunelin thinks that something, like Glimke has been caught out, and she thinks that something bad has happened to him.
01:39:40
Speaker
And she thinks there's a decent chance that he was taken to jail or something, but she also thinks that there's a decent chance that he's in there right now being interrogated or being hurt or having already been hurt. And she also doesn't know, she doesn't know what's going on in there, and she kind of thinks they need a shot at Strigamol. She has no idea where Glinky is.
01:39:59
Speaker
I don't think Fauniline jumps to the idea that he was just basically let go. do you know what I mean? Like, I think Fauniline jumps to something bad has happened to Glinky, and she needs to get into that room. So Fauniline is going to try one last
Urgency and Strategy
01:40:11
Speaker
thing.
01:40:11
Speaker
Fauniline is going to you back down the staircase, and then she is going to ascend it, wheezing out of breath and holding Wembley's keys. And she is going to say, there's been... There's been...
01:40:25
Speaker
voting in the mines in Wembley. I took him there and and she coughs and she's going to try to like cough out some ash, like cough the ash that's on her hand, cough it into the air and he's going to say, he sent me back here. He said, he said, you've got to tell Mr. Strigamore what's happened.
01:40:45
Speaker
He doesn't know if he's going to live. Give me a deception roll, please. Uh, can I, I was gonna ask for advantage, but I'm gonna save that. I'm gonna save that social capital. Uh, that's a 22. We'll say, sure. We'll say he like gives you like a, a friendly smile. This is, damn, that's terrible.
01:41:04
Speaker
Don't think Mr. Stygamall wants to be awoken, but I guess for something such as this, come in, come in. And they open the door. I'm so scared guys. My whole butt is clenched.
01:41:16
Speaker
You are brought into this darkened darkened hotel room. There are a couple guards standing out on the balcony. you see another one sitting in a chair in the corner.
01:41:29
Speaker
And you are brought to... this large table in the middle of the room and sat in it and there is a knock he knocks on the sliding door that separates the sleeping area from the rest of the suite mr strigamore there's a messenger here apparently there's been a explosion at the mine oh bloody hells and because i'm curious we're going to cut away glimki
01:42:02
Speaker
Glinky on the couch. This going to much shorter cutaway if you let me do something. a couple questions. Otherwise, you can cut this whole thing out. 100%. So I'm not sleeping all the way through the night.
01:42:14
Speaker
Is there from the, I don't know, even catching up with Clay, if they fill me in with the conversation they had with the dragon, dragonborn, there's obviously some sort of, there's some, I don't know.
01:42:28
Speaker
Has the word spread over the last two days? I don't know. Like, do we have a sense for like, It's pretty early stages. I mean, like the la the the documents, the pamphlets, whatever, you know, the the symbol was really only starting to be distributed this past day.
01:42:42
Speaker
and Okay, gotcha. no It's been like less than 12 hours of distribution, I'd reckon. Okay, gotcha. I gotcha. Okay. I just like feel like the pressure is mounting in a way that feels like we have to act now. But is that the reality? I don't know. mean, i don't want to you know tell you guys what what to do or when to strike.
01:43:03
Speaker
I think there's a window, as you know, like at the HQ to get into the safe. But from my perspective, at least, I think that's the only like, other than the Fondlin has 14 days to live.
01:43:14
Speaker
ah She just watched the ring tape aspect of it all. Beyond that, I don't think there's like, I don't think tonight has to be the night everything pops off. Okay. Well, okay. That's interesting. Terry gets executed tomorrow morning.
01:43:25
Speaker
Terry does get executed tomorrow morning a lot inside Ed and stick. But no one knows that except Blinky. I'm just trying to think, like, is there even a, is there do we even have a chance to rouse some people in the middle of the night? That's the thing, is like.
01:43:40
Speaker
Like right now? Yeah. Yeah. ah Clay would have told Gloomkey that the whole conversation she had with the Dragonborn. And that makes me feel like, you know, there's an element of... They're not ready. That's basically what... Yeah. you They were like, oh, it needs time. I'm like, to have 15 days, 14 days.
01:43:59
Speaker
fifteen days fourteen days yeah fair no never mind i don't know i i want to do something too i mean hey listen kids i think it's been a challenge just because the three of you have been separated for like two episodes straight so it's been hard to like do a proper coordination of plans and events and also there's been some bad dice rolls i've kind of fucked everything up oh that's okay the the bad i i'm trying to just see like what what a like that didn't work is there another way to go about this yeah no totally So i i would I would wager, yeah, if yeah you if if you guys if you if you guys feel a pressure, like tonight's the night, like we need to strike now, like go for it.
01:44:37
Speaker
Let loose the dogs of war. yeah i was ready for combat this session. Well, okay. The reason I ask is like, Glimke, he's ready to do another monologue. Yeah.
01:44:51
Speaker
Hell yeah. So follow up question in the artist district. Is there a church? Something with a bell. um Something that might rouse some people in the middle of the night. You know what I'm saying? what you're saying. And in this district, we're not there's not like guards running around all over the place on this side, is there?
01:45:13
Speaker
Or is there? There's more. There's like an increased guard presence. It's not like as heavily patrolled. But since the last couple of days events, there has been an increase. OK, I gotcha. I gotcha.
01:45:25
Speaker
Yeah, I would say, hey it's been a while.
01:45:30
Speaker
da the But there's obviously more guards on that side of the bridge, right? Oh, yeah. For sure. Well, I'll say, dela da when you first arrived in Mangan, on Mangan, in Onkiel, when you landed in that large courtyard, Padera Square, I would say at one end of it, there was a cathedral. Yeah.
01:45:54
Speaker
To who? It seemed to be more of a generalized place of worship. It didn't appear to be like dedicated to a single deity. you I don't say you, maybe, maybe not you, Clay, given your upbringing in some larger cities, this is. like media as it's In some medium-sized cities, rather, this isn't totally uncommon, where in a large city, you'll have massive cathedrals to all eight of the gods. In small villages, you might have only one, or you might just have shrines. In a place like this, you might have one large cathedral with separate little little wings or temple like smaller temples within dedicated to each of the eight gods.
01:46:34
Speaker
But it's not like dedicated towards Etigan? No. I just feel like if we do a big speech now and you get hit one or two times and Etigan dies, that's also not good. We are going to get the proof soon.
01:46:50
Speaker
We're supposed to get the proof soon with the safe. That's what we're struggling with because we need the safe before lock happens. happened Well, that's what I'm like. The thing is, is like, do we need the proof? We can just get them. If we can rouse them up anyways.
01:47:03
Speaker
If you give a good enough speech. I don't know. Yeah, what kind of roles do you have in tonight, Jordan? yeah You want to gather everybody to roll a four in front of them? Maybe. i What if we just kill Wumtar? don't know.
01:47:15
Speaker
We just kill Wumtar and get rid of the dwarves. Okay, that's kind of what I'm trying to trying to get at is Fomelin's over there, completely isolated in this thing. We don't know this, but there's now speaks of explosions in the mines.
01:47:29
Speaker
She may be isolating herself with the leader. Is there a way that if something goes completely awry on her end, that we also do the same? I thought it was funny if now that you're no longer the head of security, that this new Faunolin persona becomes a new head of security. Wembley, you're out. I'm going to tell you right now, DC50 for that to happen.
01:47:56
Speaker
You're not going to believe this? I rolled a 50. With Fauna Lin's dice rolls, it's possible. yeah yeah If anyone can roll a 50, it's Fauna Lin. He has like a trend. He tends to replace his head of security every so often. I real yeah don't know what kind of leader this guy is, to be honest.
01:48:15
Speaker
Not the best decision maker. yeah Why don't you guys wait to see how things shake up with me? Because I might die in there. i don't think so. Well, that's what I'm trying to say is that like maybe shit starts to go south and then they look out the window and there's pitchforks.
01:48:30
Speaker
That'd actually be so sick. I think, but we can, we okay, here's the thing. We have a couple traps that are so close to being able to spring. I'm pretty sure we can get into the safe just by putting the rings into it. And then we could just do regular light, like sleight of hand lock picking to get in. So I think we can get the proof. pretty You guys could go get the proof because it's gonna, like the sun is coming up and the place is gonna be swarming shortly.
01:48:51
Speaker
I did want to just blast it out of the wall if I couldn't get it open normally. like i could go do that. I mean, hey, all right. No more speeches. No more speeches. What if you get the proof and then you do the speech right after? I don't think we do Between me and a speech, I feel like there's a handful of roles.
01:49:13
Speaker
Me and the safe, I think there's going to be some way harder roles to make. Okay, then you should do it. have to get through security. No, but like, i think that makes more sense technically. But i now I got to get back through town, over the bridge, through security, if back inside the headquarters. We got to... ah We're getting a little too meta now.
01:49:34
Speaker
There's so many elements at play. that I know, I know. We've really sowed the seeds of our future here. Yeah. Like, we don't even have the blast powder that Callum stole. I know!
01:49:48
Speaker
If we had that, we'd just blast this base with smithereens. Fuck! like I think even if they increase security, if we just do a full-out terrorist attack...
01:50:02
Speaker
on headquarters. We can still get in there after tonight. ah But then it's just what? Rumpus round two? Like it's the same gambit again. But this time, this is where the lobby used to be before the great fire of yesterday. we just have to do the same roles again. Yeah.
01:50:26
Speaker
It was our best episode ever, so let's just relive it. Yeah, I know, God. Oh, no! It's a Groundhog Day situation. We get to take over and over and over and over and over. I'll set as many fires as it takes That's what I'm saying. Let's set even more fires.
01:50:41
Speaker
oh That was the problem last night. Not enough balutons. No, not have enough fires. Yeah, not enough fires. Not enough coordinated fires. Too bad that building's made of stone. I thought it was going to go down. thought it was going to burn down. Yeah, yeah. No, it's a shame this dwarves love stone.
01:50:57
Speaker
Yeah. Shame that Zach found that esoteric dwarven knowledge and wielded it against you Shit. I think Clay and Glimke have like a pretty restless sleep. Like I think there is like this pressure. You're like the window going to close, but maybe we can go back and you know, we can, we can, we can, we got in once we can get in again, even if security is higher, we've got other tools in our toolbox. We've got blast powder. We've got ah an ent. We've got things at disposal. We've got the rings.
01:51:24
Speaker
Yeah, we haven't gone into the mines yet. That's also something we need. Yeah, haven't gone to the mines yet. And we're going to cut over to Faunolin. You are brought over to this dining table and sat down.
01:51:35
Speaker
And a few minutes later, Boontar Strigamol wearing a bathrobe and some slippers walks out and sits down across from you.
01:51:48
Speaker
Tell me what has happened. How many people have died? And where is Wembley? Before she speaks, she's going to look around. Is Glimki here? She tries to look into the room that Buntar just came out of and see. He does not appear to be so.
01:52:04
Speaker
Awesome. Fonelin, like the back, her back is drenched with sweat. She thought she trained herself to stop sweating when she was like 14. Her back is just drenched in sweat. Like her she feels her hands shaking with adrenaline, knowing that she is in a room of people who without a weapon, people who could easily and would easily kill her.
01:52:25
Speaker
And she she does the only idea that's occurred to her because that's the only thing that occurred to me. She hides her shaking fists on her lap and she she goes, oh, it's just terrible. Wambly sent me. There was a terrible... ah And in the middle of her sentence, she slumps.
01:52:41
Speaker
And then she looks up and she tries to make her face vacant like one of Franny's fishes. And in the best imitation of Franny, who she has heard speak for many, many minutes, she is going to try to say, Boonta, there's been a change to our deal.
01:52:59
Speaker
Might we have a word alone? And she cocks her head the way Franny cocks her head, and she stands up with her arms at odd angles, and she looks at him with her best approximation of a frightening, haggish look.
01:53:14
Speaker
She's going to look so schizophrenic if she fails this persuasion roll man. I would call this a performance roll? Deception? does that Deception, yeah. I don't know. I don't really i don't really get when the functional difference is. But yes, deception. Yeah, that's cool. I rolled 15 and an 18, so that's going to be 25. Franny, I will not be sending my men out.
01:53:37
Speaker
If you wish to speak with me, I insist on having my security. I understand that there was an attempt made on you, and I wish to assure you That it did not come from me. i' have always honored and respected our relationship, and I would not jeopardize that. That was a lone wolf, and he is being hunted down as we speak.
01:53:57
Speaker
Fonelin hops up onto the table, and she crouches there, the way Franny would crouch on something. And then she stands up on the table. She picks up a piece of food, the grisliest bit she can find. She rolls it around her fingers, flicks it off. Ugh.
01:54:12
Speaker
flicks it away into, into, flicks it away like it's disturbed her. She she she looks at the meat she says, I prefer fish. And she's going to stand up and walk across the table half emulating Franny and half emulating lifeless puppet, a marionette that's ungainly and awkward. she hops down and providing no one stops her, she is going to go into Boontar's room and back up into the darkness and stand- No, someone's going to stop you for for sure. They're not just going to let you run amok in this place.
01:54:44
Speaker
i just want to walk I just want to walk into his room. i just want to walk into his room. To walk into his room, you have to walk past him. And I'm going to say he backs up. He pushes the chair back and stands up, and he's going to step back, and his guards are going to move in and try and get in front of him and block your way.
01:55:00
Speaker
And I'm going to say they're going to have spears out, and he's going to put a hand on one of their shoulders and says, Easy, easy. I'm hoping we can still discuss. Lower your weapons.
01:55:11
Speaker
I am much more than this. and she inspects Faunilin's dirty hands and she says, Filthy flesh. If you skewer me like meat, I will seize the spear through the hand that holds it.
01:55:27
Speaker
Let us be civil. He squeezes the shoulder of one of the guards and the guards lower, ah raise like, you know, raise their spears back up. So they're they're pointing up at the ceiling. What is it you want?
01:55:39
Speaker
I believe that it is time for us to renegotiate as there has been a substantial change. I happen to know And she looks a random guy, random ass guy dead in the eyes and stares at him.
01:55:57
Speaker
That there is an informant passing information. and And she keeps staring at this random ass guy that she's picked. That sharing information with your enemies.
01:56:09
Speaker
She cocks her head and looks back at Boontar and says, I know much more that would be prudent, but you don't wish to speak right now, so perhaps I'll see myself out.
01:56:23
Speaker
And she's going to sit back on the table the way Franny sits, and is there any reaction to that? Any indication that she might get a chance to speak with Boontar alone? Because how they're reacting informs our next move.
01:56:37
Speaker
Simply put, there is no world in which he dismisses his guards after the last two days that he's had, while the angry witch woman is being like hey, send your guards out, I just want to talk.
01:56:49
Speaker
There's just zero chance that that is something he is going to do. So he, i will say before you snap out of it, he will say, i am willing to talk, Franny, but i will not do so unguarded.
01:57:05
Speaker
If you wish to talk, let's talk. Otherwise, I can send negotiators to see you and they can discuss our arrangement. If you wish to renegotiate, I imagine that is fair. I just only, I would like to make things right with you.
01:57:17
Speaker
Name and time, and we know of the place. Guys, there's nothing left for me, right? I just gotta get out of here. You could ask, you could ask for someone to walk the 50 years right now, though.
01:57:30
Speaker
I just got chills. Okay, okay. Finally, here's Clay's smarter, better, cooler voice in the back of her head, and she's going to look at Boontar, and she's going to say, It's sweet how much you love your little friends.
01:57:47
Speaker
You and I are friends, aren't we? I'd like to continue being so. As would I. I offer you forgiveness of all past wrongs. I offer you the name of the informant.
01:57:59
Speaker
I offer you the location of the rebels, but in xs exchange, something more. A soul for 50 years.
01:58:11
Speaker
Mine to use as I wish. Any of her men will do. And she looks at them all. Give me a persuasion roll. I can't believe I'm getting something out of tonight. Maybe. That is a, that's an 18.
01:58:28
Speaker
Very well. I will send two of my men within the week. One will stay with you for 50 years, and the other will return with the promised information.
01:58:42
Speaker
She nods, and then she stands up on the table again and looks at the balcony and says, I'll be seeing myself out. And she's going to walk away from him. She's going to turn her back on them, and she's going to walk towards the open window.
01:58:56
Speaker
Could have gone through the door, but I just think Franny would throw herself out the window and she's- Lana Lynn's an actor, okay? Don't make that face, Jordan! She's an actor, and don't make that face because you haven't rolled between a four above a four all night. but You can't judge!
01:59:10
Speaker
But he also rolled really low for the damage. Yeah, what was it? 12 damage? 13 damage. It's okay, I have a rope! Okay, alright. That's true, the rope. She's got this fucking overpowered magic rope. Are throwing yourself off the balcony?
01:59:26
Speaker
If I'm not impeded, what I'm going to do is I'm going to stop. I'm going to stop at the balcony while her back is turned. Faunilun is going to whisper magic rips with her forth so that just the very end coils itself in front of the rail, into onto the rail that she's just standing in front of. And then she is going to make a show of stepping up onto the rails as if she's not holding a rope. And she pitches herself forward and she hopes that nobody sees the rope. And then, all no, and then i think I think I'll let the DM dig it from there.
01:59:55
Speaker
You step off. Boondar says, no! And two guards, that the guards are going to to run after you as you step off into space.
02:00:07
Speaker
I'm going to need a strength check as you attempt to hold onto this rope. Yeah. Like athletics or strength acrobatics or- think just raw strength. Just like grip strength. Just raw strength. Yeah, just raw grip strength. That's 14. You needed a 10.
02:00:22
Speaker
Holy- As you plummet through the air, you manage to hold on. Your arm is jolted heavily, like you think it may have dislocated, but you hold on and you are dangling about... How long is this rope?
02:00:36
Speaker
60 feet, I think. Oh, then you just hit the fucking ground. We can make it coil, though. Yeah, you don't need to use all of the length. Yeah, I would have eyeballed it when I tied it.
02:00:49
Speaker
You take 13 bludgeoning damage as you... Easy. Oh, damn. All right. As you just are like, I've got a plan. And you try to marry Poppins your way down. And gravity has other ideas. As you go plummeting through the air. And you're like, the rope will stop me any second. And you just crumple into the ground.
02:01:06
Speaker
ah You feel your knees pop. It is extremely painful. And you're just like bleeding from your head. And I think you just like managed to whisper out, Slither forth magic rope as it untangles itself from the from the railing and just topples after you. I sprint off into the night. as I hobble away as fast as I can. i like i go to the artist side out.
02:01:28
Speaker
If I could high five you right now. Most unhinged D&D playing ever. That was so good. That was gambit after gambit. I feel hungover. You're telling me. That cobbler persona is so good. Yeah. Holy shit. I hate it so So funny. It is a steamroll of a character. Yeah. That's true.
02:01:53
Speaker
That was the point. its live It's effective. You get back to the bridge. Some guards stop you, but you explain that you're returning back to the artist district. They let you through despite the blood and the ash and you get back speakeasy artworks.
02:02:09
Speaker
Did you have Booth in your pocket? You did. Yes. boof We specified Booth is with me. Yeah. Yeah. Crush him. Yeah. m No, no, no. I can try to fall in. If he's in my pocket, I'm not going to fall on him. I'm going to try to fall in such a way that I don't land on him. Okay. Give me an acrobatics roll.
02:02:27
Speaker
Holy God. These dice actually need to be retired. That's a 22. Yeah, you at the last second remember that Boof is in your pocket and you twist and you land on your hip heavily, but he's in the other pocket and he says, hey, watch the merchandise.
02:02:42
Speaker
And you manage to make it back to speakeasy artworks. It is dark. It is locked. greg Yeah, I wail on the door. like, demonia, desdemonia, demonica, harmonica, biggo mondo. cra Just let me in for the love of God. Just let me in.
02:02:59
Speaker
Okay. I love her. Hi, guys. ah So Glimki's missing. No, no, no. He's gone. He's back. He made it back. What? Yeah.
02:03:10
Speaker
What? It was like, what, three hours ago?
02:03:16
Speaker
how was your How was your dinner? yeah What's up? What's up? Okay, what's up? We have to go to the pyramid right now because the sun is coming up and we've all forgotten that we're on a deadline. That place is going to be swarming with dwarves. I happen to know that like all of the brigades are in the mines right now looking for an explosion that didn't happen, which means we need to go right now. You're okay, Glimke? I thought you were dead or something or in jail.
02:03:39
Speaker
yeah to be honest, I don't know how I'm not dead, to be frank. They caught you out? You were exposed? Oh, yeah. Yeah.
02:03:50
Speaker
I think I ah talked too much. ah Something similar to Icarus, you know. Who's Icarus? too close to the phoenix, you know.
02:04:01
Speaker
that i'm very interested in what happened, but we need to go right now because the sun is going to come up. Okay, well, we have three rings, but we have no code, so unless you think you can figure it out.
02:04:13
Speaker
Any one of us can brute force it. It's fine. We have the keys. If it's a combination, we can listen for the clicks, okay? I've never hacked a safe, but I've read about it in a lot of books. It's going to be fine.
02:04:24
Speaker
I feel unstoppable tonight, okay? do you know what I've done tonight? Come on. And I'm going to be like pulling them by the hand and like the sleeves and like pulling them towards the door. She's kind of a frantic look in her eyes. Tonight, I have frightened a bear by assembling a golem with a bunch of this rat creatures i have tried mushrooms for the first time, got in the mushrooms, a metabolized the mushrooms. By the way, you do discover empathy when you're high. It's really interesting. Wasn't for me. Then I made it all the way to the hotel. i snuck in. i lied to Wambly. I got his
02:04:55
Speaker
He's off of him! Got him out of the building! I made it upstairs! I spiked a bunch of food! i got into Boontar's room! Binky wasn't there! i was really banking on being able to speak to Boontar alone so I could get him, but that didn't happen. He's very cautious right now.
02:05:09
Speaker
Bit paranoid. Not very becoming. So I pretended to be Franny. Lo and behold, someone's going there in a week's time to assume a 50-year walking debt in exchange for a bit of information. So, okay. Also, I think I'm gonna... And she coughs and like there's like blood. She like wipes the blood that like squeezes out of her nose a little when she says that. So I think I'm dead already or dying. I don't know If my hit points were numbered, like if I was a a creature with numbered hit points, I'd probably have like 2 out of 21 or something.
02:05:41
Speaker
That's crazy. Also, small detail about the Franny situation. That's exciting. You figured out the 50-year thing. There's been a new development.
02:05:54
Speaker
I have a reason to believe that Fishhead Franny is coming after me. And not in a I need to serve 50 years on a wheel or some sort of, ah you know, servitude um in perpetuity. More like a she has casks of blast powder that she needs to return to me in the form of an explosion.
02:06:20
Speaker
Her words, not mine. So, yeah. Conor Lynn starts laughing when Glimke says that and she like she comes she becomes like hysterical. like There's like tears rolling down her face. She's like...
02:06:33
Speaker
We don't even live here. We're all going to die here. We're going to be skewered by guards or exploded by a fish hang. And we don't even go here.
02:06:45
Speaker
oh my it's really quite funny. It's really quite hilarious. oh um Also, I discovered how to get to the Edigan, the heart of Edigan. Here. And she pulls out Boof by the scrub of his neck. The scrub of his neck. says This is Boof.
02:06:58
Speaker
Don't ask what that name means. He told me on the way here. And he can take us to the hospital. I'm really good into tight spaces. Pleasure to meet you. Quite like him.
02:07:10
Speaker
There's a rat man in Airdenine that you would get along with so well. Yeah, you remind me of one of our old friends. Rat man just bring out something crazy in Zach. That's actually becoming a stereotype.
02:07:22
Speaker
Oh, God. I know we've been splitting the party up so too much, but, like... but we all this Maybe we just need to all go to the safe. Let's all just go to the safe, okay? What better place to be when all blow up than inside the headquarters, right?
02:07:37
Speaker
Yeah. And then the mine. Or you give me boof and I'll find a way into the mine and find of try to figure out how Ennegan can be reconnected with his heart. Or... we just... Or we just... do We call up Jarrow and get the fuck out of here.
02:07:57
Speaker
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You have a way to call up. I'm And Fondalyn brings a shaking hand to her bald head, her shorn head of hair that she never shows anybody and takes it away and shows you the head wound that she's sustained. She says, you want to leave now?
02:08:16
Speaker
Glimki, Glimki, look at me dead in the eyes, Glimki. Glimki, I don't give a fuck about trees. I like the- you know what trees I give a fuck about? The big trees in the big forest that I come from. I don't care about these little trees. You know who cares about these little trees? You, motherfucker! You! We're leaving!
02:08:36
Speaker
We're not leaving! leaving okay Okay. Okay. Okay. Until we fix this island and turn it into a goddamned utopia.
02:08:50
Speaker
Okay, i was I was just testing you. Let's go to the safe. Okay, you guys... And you passed. Calm down, calm down. You guys both had a rough night, it seems like, while I had a nice chat with two hot dragonborn
02:09:07
Speaker
about how receptive the people are to our plans. So let's all go to the safe. Nice. Okay. Everyone calm. Everyone on the same page?
02:09:18
Speaker
Mm-hmm. Yes. Okay,
Final Push and Safe Cracking
02:09:21
Speaker
let's go. It's really good to see you, by the way, Glimke. I'm really, really glad that you didn't die. you too. Because I think if you die, they won't let me speak at your funeral because you have all those freaking siblings. You have so many siblings. I'm way too far down the line. But you and I have been through some shit together and it would be so offensive to me to not get to make a speech.
02:09:39
Speaker
Yeah, but no one for funerals lasts like a ah month. So just hang out long enough. Someone will let you speak. That will be a comfort to me when you pass. You step out into the streets.
02:09:53
Speaker
There is a river, a wall, numerous guards, several flights of stairs, and a safe between you and your goal.
02:10:05
Speaker
We're going to start with the river. Glimkeep will say you change into some clothes. I need to know gear. Are y'all kidding Oh, I'm suiting up. Oh, I'm kidding up. Weapons, armor, everything, every magical item.
02:10:19
Speaker
Amazing. Yeah, which we don't really have that much. Yeah. Yeah. go to rock I have an orb that points north. Okay. Hey, excuse me. Listen, listen, there's some things that I i will admit fall for. Maybe I can offer up some more magic items. I will also say you guys, you guys killed Thayun Zahir, this famed bounty hunter assassin.
02:10:45
Speaker
and did not once be like, should we check and see if he had any loot? You're like, got his ass and No, I burned all of He had a massive metal war pick. He had a helmet. Well, he broke the helmet, but you know, there's been opportunities well that you have passed by.
02:11:05
Speaker
No, we don't want that shit. Quick question. Do you think owlbears are migratory? Do you think... Oh, there's bears in the local...
02:11:15
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah, there's bears in the woods, dude. Glinky will take the whistle off the chain and around his neck and is like, i don't know, Fondland, do you want to try this? The bears here are gross. I don't want to see them again.
02:11:30
Speaker
it really made me sad. Yeah, but if they, you know, had a little bit of direction, maybe, I don't know. You want to bring a bear to crack a safe. No, no, no, no, no. I'm saying if we don't, if we don't get in the safe, we start popping this thing off.
02:11:50
Speaker
We'll call some goddamn bears. Yeah, let's do it. I like that idea. I don't know if the the speech needs to happen here. or We need to go back to the other town and like, you know, start getting some people aligned.
02:12:03
Speaker
I think once we have the proof from the save. I agree. And then we should maybe send word over there or something. Weren't they in danger or something? Did we already send word tonight to them? God, it's been a blur. With what? With whom? No, we've had, like, this is all one night. This is crazy.
02:12:18
Speaker
This is the longest night of Honolulu's This has been a long night. Yeah. What's Helen's email? 24 style. Yeah. Yeah. I will say the door to speakeasy artwork swings open and the three of you step out, silhouetted by the lantern light within.
02:12:34
Speaker
The armor and weapons and umbrellas that you possess are on full display. Boof stands up on Faunlin's shoulder and lights a joint and the three of you take off.
02:12:48
Speaker
How are you planning on crossing over to the other side of the river each bridge has around a dozen guards I swam last time how are you guys swimming skills I got a magic rope that can do anything for me bro let's swim it that's our rope sorry swim yeah our rope our rope that nobody else has ever once used yes for sure and Okay. Finally, can say slither rope magic fourth magic slither. Oh, stroke. I heard, dude. I've done like four voices tonight. It says slither for the magic rope. she It takes her if he tries to get it right, like it took me. And it like she could tie it to a tree across the water and then they could pull themselves through the river by holding onto this rope. You know what?
02:13:39
Speaker
I'm going to say we're actually going to do this as a skills challenge. my um nice So first obstacle is the river and Faunolin sounds like you've got a strategy. So tell me a skill.
02:13:49
Speaker
Yep. That is, can I cast guidance? For a skills challenge, I'm a saying no. What is guidance for? Light of hands. Light of hands. Light of hands. Fine. This guy hates us. All right, fine. Got this. Sure. You know what? Fine. It's fine. You know what's crazy? Just sidebar. You know when you said, does Glimpki believe this? And I said yes. I swear I thought you were going to give me inspiration, but I don't think that exists in this game.
02:14:17
Speaker
I've never inspiration. I know. I know. Maybe I was asked one time forcefully, and I said, all right, fine. If inspiration... exist in this campaign and Prima didn't get it for the Molotov cocktail pneumatic tube moment, then God is dead. Okay?
02:14:33
Speaker
like More of an advantage in the moment kind of guy. I'm going to make an acrobatics to like tightrope across the water or like ooch along the rope. Okay. And I'm going to say, as long as narratively, there's not like an immediate like pressure, like, you know, like you've got, you've got a chance you can say a quick prayer to Macrog, cast a guidance. So I'm gonna say that's fine. If it's ever a situation where like shit's going down, you know, then like there might not be time, but for this guidance applies. What do I add for guidance again?
02:14:59
Speaker
One d four Oh, a D4. Okay. So that's, that's great. Cause, um, my luck has run out is what I'll say. Oh, cool. So on the d20, I got a two and on the d4, I got a one. So that's going to be a seven. And this is what, sorry?
02:15:13
Speaker
Not that it really matters. Acrobatics. So you get to the river bank and you tell the magic rope to slither forth and it winds its way down the bank, through the water, up the other side, and affixes itself to, we'll say just like a street lamp.
02:15:32
Speaker
And the three of you attempt to slackline your way across and it goes poorly immediately. Maybe it would have been better if you'd waited, gone one at a time, but the three of you, like Calvin and Hobbes crossing a log,
02:15:46
Speaker
walk across this rope and immediately fall into the river, drawing the attention of the guards on the other side. We'll see you scurry up the bank. You release the rope, guards are paying attention to you and not in a good way.
02:16:01
Speaker
Can I cast Thaumaturgy and make splashing sounds like further up the river and then push everyone to the ground and cover them with my cloak and make it look like camouflage for the ashy ground?
02:16:18
Speaker
Oh man. This is dangerously close to being a cloak of invisibility when it's very clearly not intended as that. It's the dead of night. It's dark. Everything's covered in ash.
02:16:30
Speaker
I will say you cast Thaumaturgy and the three of you run and try and break line of sight and you pull up the cloak and kind of try and like hunker down next to like a barrel or something and blend in with the surroundings.
02:16:44
Speaker
I will say make a you know what you you give this seems like an arcana check honestly like you're casting spells you know is very like a magic a use of magic items.
02:16:55
Speaker
Can I roll survival instead? I'm going to say NAR. Why'd you pick Arkham? Okay, you know i will say survival, but it'll be a slightly higher DC.
02:17:06
Speaker
Oof, oof. I don't know what's better. Honestly, both suck. But this is my first roll of the night, so... That's crazy. Yeah. You know, can I tell you, I thought it was going to be a quiet night. I thought Glimki going to be like, damn, sorry, Boontar, and then go home. And then I thought Faunelin would spend the night at the mouse place and then come back in the morning. And that's not how this went at all.
02:17:27
Speaker
Yeah, i I don't know if I just misread the whole the whole island's relationship with this freaky woman. They've had a very fruitful business relationship over many years.
02:17:39
Speaker
Yeah, whoops. He won't be in alone in a room with her. but Would you? They were some symbio that symbiotic evil forces. Also, on remember, Faunelin doesn't know this, but as far as Boontar is concerned, she thinks he tried to kill her hours ago.
02:17:57
Speaker
There's a lot Faunelin doesn't know. All right, Clay, what did you get? I rolled a nine, which is a 13 survival and a eight arcana. So I still will stick with survival.
02:18:09
Speaker
That is exactly what you needed. As yeah the guards go running past, some of them pull off to go look in the river and the search continues. And we are going to go to now Glimki. I will say the three of you progress through the streets before coming upon the wall surrounding Korak HQ.
02:18:28
Speaker
m Would you like to use the rope? I don't think you've used it before. i mean, if we can use the rope again, let's try it. yeah It is technically our rope. Slither forth, magic rope.
02:18:43
Speaker
ok It doesn't sound right when you say it. You need to be more you know you need to be you need to have more chutzpah when you say it. Slither forth, magic rope. You have to say it like believe it. Slither forth, magic rope.
02:18:57
Speaker
m I just feel like it likes me more. Like, just the way it's moving, you can tell. While you're having this conversation, the rope winds its way up the wall before securing itself around one of the spikes surrounding the headquarters. Oh, it worked.
02:19:12
Speaker
What skill are you using? Athletics. Alright, we'll do an athletics as you attempt to hurry up the wall. Eleven. Can I use guidance? Yes. You can use guidance, and I'm going to tell you, you need it this is no Yeah, add d4. 13. 13 was again the hell yeah As Glimke, you're climbing this wall and you're tired. You didn't sleep the night before.
02:19:39
Speaker
There was also a sleep a couple nights before that was you banging up against a tree all night. Your sleep has been severely disrupted the last week and you're tired and you start climbing up this rope. And even with the magical help it provides, you just feel like your grip isn't what it was and you start to slip. But then Clay puts a hand on you and prays and you feel just a bolt of fire burst through your veins and you pull yourself up the rest of the way. The other two follow close behind, and the three of you land in the courtyard.
02:20:08
Speaker
It is a cloudy, ashy night. It's not too bright, but there are, you can tell, some guards positioned around the courtyard. And we go to Fonelin. i'm gonna stealth us around.
02:20:21
Speaker
Fauniline spent her entire youth skulking about her family's treehouse manor, eavesdropping, sneaking around where she wasn't supposed to be. She's pretty good at...
02:20:35
Speaker
picking the right moment to slip past somebody. And so she's going to make a stealth check with her friends. She's going to, I'm going flavor it with a bit of the battle master thing where she kind of gives everyone the hand signal and she waits until she sees a moment and she scouts out ahead of where she thinks are the best places to hide. And when the time is right, she says, go.
02:20:55
Speaker
And that is, okay. That is a nine plus six is 15. I know that because I play crib. It's going to sound like some poppycock. It's going to sound like I'm just trying to gas you all up. The DC was 15. Poppycock! No, it's not poppycock!
02:21:14
Speaker
You're gassing us up! No! And you sneak across the courtyard. The door is unlocked. You're able to slip in. And it seems like the majority of the security is centered around the outside.
02:21:29
Speaker
You walk through... quiet crypt-like a quiet crypt-like lobby up the stairs keeping an alert eye out for anyone lurking in the shadows any security measures that may be in place but you get to the top of the stairs and you go down the hall and the door to boontar strigamol's office is currently unlocked.
02:21:55
Speaker
a You step inside, you close the door behind you, and you are once again in the office of Boontar Strigamall.
02:22:05
Speaker
I keep waiting for a twist. Like, i'm I'm waiting for you to finish the sentence like, and standing in front of you is. Oh my gosh, I did the same thing when we were leaving the house. I just, I was expecting there to be like a platoon of guards. Okay, uh, go, go, go. Here's, here's, i'll I'll tell you, you guys came tonight.
02:22:21
Speaker
You had a much higher chance of succeeding. And so you completed the skills challenge. You mean you've just done this the whole time?
02:22:30
Speaker
What the fuck? No, we're prepared now. We're prepared now. Yeah, somebody needed a nap on the couch. Yeah. And Fonelin moves the painting out of the way. I put the keys in.
02:22:42
Speaker
What order do you put the rings in? What order are they? in his fingers On the painting. Oh yes, in the painting. It's silver, copper, then gold on the right hand.
02:22:56
Speaker
Silver on the index finger, gold on the ring finger, copper in the middle. Silver ring, index finger, copper ring, middle finger, gold ring, ring finger.
02:23:07
Speaker
Would it be fist bump style into the lock? Only one way to find out? Yeah, I give it try. I double check that by the vents are still closed and everything for the trap, the gas trap.
02:23:22
Speaker
There. And then I do it. Okay. Silver, copper, gold? Yes. Mm-hmm. You place the first ring in, the second ring, the third ring.
02:23:33
Speaker
They each fit in about halfway, like I said, so that you have a... There's room for you to touch them, for you to still hold each ring. And as you insert the gold ring in, this glass panel illuminates.
02:23:48
Speaker
Ooh. And above each of the rings, four zeros up appear. Ooh.
02:23:56
Speaker
Above each ring, four zeros. Oh my god. Four zeros above each? Mm-hmm. So 12 digits.
02:24:07
Speaker
I will say it's like, they seem to be in three discrete, it's not like a 12, it's not like a big 12 block. It's like, there's here's a group of four, here's a group of four, here's a group of four. Mm-hmm. It's sort of like microwave digit style.
02:24:21
Speaker
So there's like times? Oh god. Is it? Okay. I don't even know. Is this something that we would even know? This is just Jordan asking like, is it? Oh no, that's stupid. Is it stupid? I was thinking like... The melting points? Or is it atomic weights of the materials? I was thinking melting points because we talked about that last time where you were trying to melt the like so He's so mentioned something about glass having a different melting point.
02:24:45
Speaker
than the gold or something. And then the three metals would have different melting points. I don't know. but I wouldn't know what the numbers Clay would know because she, well, i don't know if she knows the exact numbers of the temperatures either, but she helped make the rings so she would have melted the materials. But I don't know. It's not like we've got a thermometer in there. Yeah.
02:25:04
Speaker
Yeah, i would I would say probably that's not information that like hammer and tongs had like you know locked and loaded it was like a general observation that they know yeah the higher melting point it just has to be hotter yeah if you want to make a we'll just call it like a just a raw intelligence check i'd say each of you could make that to try and recall that information perhaps is that even right more in your past it crossed your path I truly think Faunelin would not know that because I don't think even if she heard that, that's information she would care about. That's like blacksmith information. Like she doesn't care. She just wants to wear the jewelry. exactly So I think in lieu of doing that, can I rifle through his desk again?
02:25:48
Speaker
I'm looking for a written down code or something. I'm not going to bother with checking the temperature thing. Give me an investigation check. Okay. That's a five. Okay. Yeah, you try pawing through, you open like some of the drawers, looking for a sticky note or something once again.
02:26:03
Speaker
Doesn't appear that he's written it down. head hurts. If you know the password and you're the only person who has access to that safe, why would you put it in writing? It's 420, 420, 420. Maybe he's forgetful. i but like that's why but Clay, I'm not saying this to like say you're going down the right path.
02:26:24
Speaker
I'm saying this purely in a neutral sense. When you were in Boontar's bedroom, there was a rather large book collection. I did set his entire bedroom on fire. I mean, it didn't burn down. You lit a fire, but it was like, you know, it was a kitchen fire. Maybe it is the fucking temperatures.
02:26:47
Speaker
Like he wouldn't let it down, but it'd be like in an index or something or whatever the fuck they're called. An encyclopedia. Yeah, would do he care about temperature melting temperatures? what do i mean, they work in a mine.
02:26:58
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, like, I don't know, like, you in ah in a mine, like, this is just Jordan talking, if I get a bunch of raw material, it's not good. It's filled with impurities.
02:27:09
Speaker
So then, like, that's how they make, like, a gold ingot. It's like, you... burn away all the other bullshit and then you are left with the good stuff that then is poured into an ingot and then that's your gold bar that would get shipped off and then the same thing would happen for silver and whatever other materials we can go search his bedroom I don't know like I don't know I don't know I don't think we should spend too much time here. So I would gently propose that we go ransack his bedroom. Let's look at his books. And if we don't find anything, I fall in in funnel and pulls out some thieves tools and says, I'll try to ah finesse it. Yeah.
02:27:48
Speaker
Okay. Yeah. Let's yeah. Let's look through the books and then let's see. Yeah, and I can always try blasting it out of the wall. I would be super happy to try that. Give me an investigation check as you cross the hallway turn to Lintar's office. Yeah, I would say you can either each individually make a check or whoever wants to take the lead can roll with advantage.
02:28:08
Speaker
I think can. I will give someone advantage. because yeah Yeah, somebody take advantage. Clay, you can roll with advantage. Mine is a minus one, guys. I don't want to be the one to roll this. I haven't rolled over a 10. I haven't rolled over a 10, so.
02:28:23
Speaker
Now's your chance. Guess what, guys? I rolled over a 10. Hey, this is what happens. It swapped from me to you. 11. Yeah, I knew it. I've known you long enough. I knew that was an 11.
02:28:35
Speaker
That's with advantage, Jordan? Oh, with advantage. And guidance. Hell yeah, let's do it. And a guidance. Wow. And a guidance. That's a 14 on the die. 14 on the die.
02:28:45
Speaker
Plus two, 16. That's pretty good. Oh, Lord. plus That's with your bonus and the guidance. I have a plus zero. That's better than mine. We are not good at investigating as a group. yeah Glimki, you start just like rifling through the bookshelf.
02:29:02
Speaker
Clay, you look around and there's just like just soot all over. The place is a mess. Oops. so It's been a day. It's been a day. I will say you look around and a lot of the damage has been cleaned up. They brought in some fresh furniture. There's maybe some stuff that's been damaged and hasn't been replaced yet.
02:29:18
Speaker
And Glimki, you are looking through Just shelf row after row. lot of the books are in dwarven and you just kind of skip over those looking for something in common. And after a couple minutes of just frantic searching, you see something called the miner's almanac. Yeah, we're going to read that. And you see it just is like an A to Z encyclopedia of minerals and elements. I flip to gold. Okay.
02:29:47
Speaker
You flip to gold and it has, it has just, yeah, like conductivity information. It has practical uses. It has most common locations. Four digit numbers. It has the melting point. That's what I'm looking for. Yeah, buddy.
02:30:02
Speaker
Okay, what is it? Is a four digit number? It is 1064 degrees. Let's go! It's a four digit number! 1000? my gosh. 1000? Holy shit. You guys really guessed it?
02:30:12
Speaker
You guys might be geniuses. Old copper. Flip to copper. Okay, put in that number and now, yeah, copper. You go to copper and you, same thing. It's, uh, you flip through. They've got the same information. It'll say, like, Clay, you're back in the office and, like, Glimke shouts out the number and you, you know, you 1064 and then for copper, Glimke, you find it and the melting point is 1084 degrees Celsius.
02:30:37
Speaker
Okay, let's go. Okay, wow. Holy shit. Slightly higher. Okay, and now silver. You flip to silver. It talks about its malleability, its widespread uses.
02:30:52
Speaker
It has a melting point of 961 degrees Celsius. 0961. Okay. So gold, silver, copper in that order? It's silver, copper, gold.
02:31:03
Speaker
Silver, copper, gold. We did it backwards. Yeah. As clay goes 959, 960, 961, you hear a click. nine hundred fifty nine nine hundred sixty nine hundred sixty one you hear a click as the three rings slide flush with the front of the safe and it swings open.
02:31:25
Speaker
Oh my God, do we could have just come back in. did I say that shit to this stupid idiot Boontar? yes What's in the safe? What's in the safe? You start pulling things out. You look inside. There are sacks and s sacks of money.
02:31:40
Speaker
I take them. Yeah, we're gonna take some of that! You pull it out and start dumping it on the table. There's a conference table in there. You just start, like, pulling them out. Nope, into my pockets. Clay, your pockets are just full of coin.
02:31:55
Speaker
Hell yeah. If you're taking it all, there are 1,100 silver pieces, gold pieces, guys? and twenty platinum
02:32:10
Speaker
Holy shit. You also find a smaller sack and you pop it open and there are seven assorted gems of different colors. like Each worth 10 gold pieces.
02:32:23
Speaker
There is a pen, like a fountain pen with sort of like this peacock feather. It appears to be made of emerald and you don't really know what it's worth.
02:32:36
Speaker
But you have an emerald pen and there is a wooden box. Give me that box. Yeah. You open it up. No, hold on. hold on oh i want to well i wanted to check it first but but sure sure no no if you want to that's that's fair give it a check just so let me don't let me sneak you into something sneaky i'll say the three of you are like gathered around the uh the conference table there's just like yeah the clay's piled up these sacks of money in their pocket and glimki give me yeah i got 16. look who started rolling back he's go back Can I do an arcana check? I don't want to roll a crown up, but in case there's some sort of like magical alarm. and Nice, nice, nice. set off when i There's an alarm spell on this shit. So I would say with an arcana check, that wouldn't really you if it was like a magically if there was like runes or something like visible rooms, then you could maybe like trying to do like, oh, what are these runes? Or if, you know, something like that. yeah If there was like a visible magical effect in play, I would say with Glimke's investigation, you do not see any runes. You look on the outside, you look for anything like that, but you do see that there is a small wire.
02:33:45
Speaker
As you start to open the lid, there's a small wire that starts to get pulled taut on the inside. Hmm. Fuck. There's a wire. What do I do? Do I cut this thing? Do we know how to disarm it? Can I disarm this?
02:33:57
Speaker
What can I do? I want to disarm it somehow. I don't know how. Alright, Fondalyn wipes her nose, which has begun bleeding again, and walks up with her trap disarmed kit and says, alright, let's do this. there Again, that's not a thing. Again, we're just gonna have to keep... How many I have to teach you this lesson, old man?
02:34:14
Speaker
not a thing. Fondalyn holds her feet tool kit at the camera, which has trap disarmed kit written on it. says, that's its name. and that like and Give me a dexterity roll and you can add your proficiency from your proficiency receive with thieves tools.
02:34:35
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. Like a sleight of hand? Yeah, for sure. yeah like ah Just dex, dex. Okay, okay, okay. Plus proficiency. Yeah, just like a dex. Yeah, that's really cool. I did roll a natural one. It's a seven.
02:34:48
Speaker
Uh oh. Uh oh. Why'd you make me roll, man? Annalyn was like staring at the bar wistfully. She was like looking at that money. she was just enjoying the ride. Can anyone help in some way? I have a set of thieves tools.
02:35:01
Speaker
Oh my god. Can give the help out? Two thieves tools are better than one. I love when it's set up front. I will allow it to be said in retrospect. Is there a... yeah if If you want to take the help action to give advantage, if you want to cast guidance, of course you can cast guidance. Can I do both? damn ba damn Sure. was Fonlin roll again and add a d4. Okay, I rolled a 5.
02:35:29
Speaker
that's i roll the five um better better better better That's better. up to... 13 because I rolled a 2 on my guidance die. Wow. Man, thank god I rolled so well when I was like, my life was on the line. don't even care what happens in here anymore. You needed this shit. You wanted this stuff in the box. What? I'm saying we didn't need this anymore. This was everything you got out of Fish Head Franny for 15 years. Goddammit. Your whole ah deal with Fish Head Franny was whatever is in this box.
02:36:03
Speaker
I know, and I'm like, we got it, guys. Like, let's just grab it and go. Yeah, it's just, it's going incinerate itself. Holy dissociated. Your hands are a little shaky. Perhaps it's your own near-death fall from the top of the green sapphire.
02:36:17
Speaker
But you start to reach in, and your hand wobbles, and Clay puts a hand on you to help steady you, and you snip the wire, and you wait for something bad to happen.
02:36:29
Speaker
but nothing does.
Secret Contracts and Explosions
02:36:31
Speaker
And you open the case up and inside you see a single scroll case. It is a dark wood. There are engravings within it.
02:36:42
Speaker
It's almost like an ebony, just like this dark, dark, dark wood. And there's just like this winding line pattern encasing it. Are they decorative or like runic?
02:36:54
Speaker
Give me an investigation check with advantage because of your artist background. Woo hoo. Ooh, no, not that's not good. Oh, that's a 19. With my investigation, 18.
02:37:06
Speaker
eighteen Perfect. This case is old and the engravings appear to be purely decorative. Do we open it? Open that shit. Let's go.
02:37:17
Speaker
Yeah. Okay. Pop it open. Take out the scroll. Inside, there is a single scroll, tightly bound. It is a long piece. of old paper.
02:37:32
Speaker
It feels brittle and you carefully unwind it. It spans maybe half the length of this large conference table. The three of you gather around reading through it as quickly as possible.
02:37:47
Speaker
The short version of it is that this is a contract between the Korak Mining Company and Van K Haven. for the assassination and replacement of the governor, Fyedra Femada.
02:38:05
Speaker
It ensures that the word appearances is underlined, that appearances will be maintained for a period of 25 years.
02:38:18
Speaker
And this was signed approximately 20 years ago, bearing Buntar Strigomol's signature. Klimki, how do you feel about making a speech? Well, I'm just struggling with the fact that I went and tried to convince the replicant version of the governor that maybe they should shake the blindfold from their eyes without realizing that they are at the very core of this whole whatever the hell is happening.
02:38:48
Speaker
Yeah, you want revenge against them? Let's incite a riot. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like I've been putting my energy into the wrong people.
02:39:00
Speaker
Us? No, no, no. The fuck no? These assholes. you right right right I believe he means me. Oh no.
02:39:12
Speaker
Not you. You turn. Boof. It says Boof? It's not Boof. You're like Boof. And then you look past Boof to the doorway.
02:39:26
Speaker
And you see a familiar dwarf with a large blonde mustache. Captain Berkosi. The security guy! The security guy! ready But you died!
02:39:40
Speaker
Berkosi limps towards you. Well, that's the funny thing about dying. Sometimes it doesn't take. And he ah runs his hand through his hair and you see as he pulls it away, there's thick mucus clings to his fingers.
02:39:58
Speaker
Oh. Trailing off and then snapping free. His hand snaps free. As he gets closer, you see his eyes are glassy and wide. He's wearing this large, almost like trench coat that he was wearing the other day when you first met him.
02:40:13
Speaker
Franny said I'd find you here. The camera pulls back. Oh, okay. Out to the courtyard, looking up at the Korak Mining Company HQ.
02:40:26
Speaker
as an explosion rips through the entire upper floor, sending shards of glass flying out into the night. And that's where we'll stop tonight's episode of Bard Soup. God damn it.
02:40:39
Speaker
Did you just TPJS? We'll find out next time. I was going to say Glimki was going to attack this guy like straight up. I was going to do something cool. i was going to channel Divinity, turn on dead.
02:40:50
Speaker
And we will give you a chance to do that next time. Okay. Oh, that means we're not dead. Remember that. Yeah. because i say Because I can also do that. You guys are so cute. The mental image of Fondolin being like, well, guess I'll die. And then both of you being like, zombie be gone, instinct is really cute.
02:41:11
Speaker
little Little god squad over here. You're just saving lives, turning away zombies and stuff.
02:41:29
Speaker
Thank you so much for listening to chapter 33 of Bard Soup.
Podcast Wrap-up and Teasers
02:41:34
Speaker
Ooh, boy. It was bad for a minute, and then it was good for a minute, and then it was real bad for a minute.
02:41:40
Speaker
And then the episode ended, remember? Wow. I have been your recapping Dungeon Master, Zach Meikle, joined as always by Prima Jow as Clay Campbell, Jordan Johnson as Glimke Treefellow, and Shannon as Fawn and Lynn Vedark.
02:41:54
Speaker
If you're enjoying the show, we would really appreciate if you would leave us a five-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. And while you're at it, follow us on Instagram or TikTok at bard underscore soup. We've been putting a lot more effort into the social media side of this show.
02:42:08
Speaker
So give us a follow and let us know what you think. Also, check out our website. I say it every week, but we recently did a photo shoot, and there's some really great shots from that there that you can check out. It's super fun.
02:42:19
Speaker
Check it out. We will be back in one week for a special and somewhat cursed Christmas one-shot. Anyway, stay warm out there, get some sleep, and we'll see you soon.
02:42:33
Speaker
Bye-bye. All right, and welcome back to Barn Soup. Chapter 33, can you believe it? Now, normally my introductions are very well prepared, but this time I don't have nothing. So rather than putting the burden upon someone like Shannon, who probably doesn't want to do it in the first place, I'm just going to look around my room and find things that I can talk about.
02:42:54
Speaker
And maybe then that'll lead into a clever intro. Looking over to my right, I see a Jurassic Park 3D 25th anniversary poster. Prima, what do you think about that?
02:43:06
Speaker
Oh, that's so cool. I'm Prima and I play Clay Campbell. Thank you. And dinosaurs are cool. think that's the truth. Now, if I'm looking around, there's stakes of books all over my room. It's pretty messy. And I'm looking over this one. There's John Grisham's The Appeal and Paula Hawkins, The Girl on the Train. And what's that over there?
02:43:26
Speaker
On top of Calvin and Hobbes? Why, it's a Bible. Tell me more about the Bible, Jordan.
02:43:33
Speaker
uh yeah the bible pretty cool book what's your favorite corinthians seventy twelve i don't first know first second first obvs a good choice i would like to read corinthians 1712 right now don't know that even makes any sense It instructs a Christian man not to divorce his unbelieving wife. there music coming from somewhere? Where music coming from? Where is music coming from? Where is this music coming from? Is it from- It's Jesus!
02:44:05
Speaker
Jesus is playing music! Where is it coming from? Oh my god. Are we getting doxxed right now? This is a DDoS attack. Bart's soup's going down. that's really funny. okay What is it? there's a first Why there music? I don't know. was still playing. keep talking till we get rid of that.
02:44:26
Speaker
assumed you would know. What did I leave? Why would I know? It's not coming from me. Where is it coming from?
02:44:37
Speaker
Turn it off! This has to be Shannon, right? What's happening? Where is it coming from? Where is this? I don't know. Do we have any video to play? What is going on? It's being hacked.
02:44:51
Speaker
It's being hacked.
02:44:55
Speaker
I have five tabs open, it's not- Is it you- it you and your Ark Raiders? Did your Ark Raiders launch? No, no, no, I, like, I paused that, cause that- my internet was slow, so that's not- like, steam is closed. is the worst technical difficulty we've ever had. The only things open right now are Zencaster, my notes, and D&D Beyond.
02:45:20
Speaker
What's happening? Yo, what the fuck? Yo, why is everyone hearing it? It was me! Wow. There's a button at the top so you can play intro
02:45:33
Speaker
music with Zedcaster. Huh. That was terrifying. I'm like crying now. Oh my god.
02:45:45
Speaker
music white boy
02:45:48
Speaker
during sessions and you have it apparently like yeah monkey music white boy
02:45:59
Speaker
Oh, that's so funny. God, I hope the recording picks up the music. I'm covered in tears. i
02:46:12
Speaker
shoot. I'm dying.
02:46:27
Speaker
We should do the intro again.