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Ch. 26 - Can’t Spell Flat Earth without Father (ft. Ink Blade Publishing) | New Horizons
34 Plays1 month ago
Soup can't solve your daddy issues, or maybe it can, what do we know?
Meet the cast:
Dungeon Master – Zach Meikle (IG: @zachabee)
Clay Campbell – Prima Zhao (IG: @primbdraws)
Faunalyn Vaydark – Shannon Meikle (IG: @sharsharbinks)
Glimki Treefellow – Jordan Johnsen (IG: @jordan_johnsen)
Peter Goodacre – Elliot (IG: @inkbladepublishing)
Check out Gothica: Plagueworlds here: https://www.inkbladepublishing.com/
And follow the Kickstarter Campaign here: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/inkbladepublishing/gothica-plagueworlds-5e-compatible-ttrpg
Edited by Zach Meikle
Follow the show:
Instagram: @bard_soup
TikTok: @bard_soup
Website: www.bardsoup.com
Music & Ambience
The following songs are created by Alexander Nakarada (www.creatorchords.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons BY Attribution 4.0 License
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Beyond the Horizon (0:00)
Dragonsong (8:13)
The Desert (28:18)
Dungeons and Dragons (1:13:15)
Emotional Piano Improvisation (1:37:51)
Celebration (1:49:06)
Solitary Diversity (1:52:42)
Glory (1:56:10)
Horizon Flare (1:58:10)
Enchanted Echoes (2:22:27)
Dreamful Tales of Fantasy Entropy (2:25:03)
The Parting Glass (2:29:07)
Additional music and ambience created by Tim Roven (www.tabletopaudio.com)
Dragon Rider (30:13)
Witch Mountain (40:04)
Rat Battle (49:46)
The Gaping Maw (59:40)
Sand Raiders (1:09:34)
Dungeon Collapse (1:27:19)
Desert Temple (1:36:13)
Desert Bazaar (1:51:20)
Additional sounds provided by Pixabay
Recommended
Transcript
Arrival at Kobaris and Exploration
00:00:00
Speaker
Now, let's see, where were we? Ah yes, that's right. After a six day journey aboard the Vigilant, our heroes arrived at the island of Kobaris, home of the Jar Arworth Learning Center and the mysterious Round Zavos.
00:00:16
Speaker
They explored the Learning Center and its various amenities and got to know some of the other attendees, including a reviled street magician named Hamish Veraslo and former detective Slade Kronick.
Classes and Glimke's Summoning
00:00:28
Speaker
They attended introductory classes on the merits of a round world and Clay spent some time painting a portrait of the island's enigmatic leader, Jar Arith. However, trouble was fast approaching as Glimke awoke to the sounds of an individual made of flower petals, asking for his help, and after seeking approval from his patron Mulare, Glimke ventured out into the surrounding desert, only to be discovered by an individual with a familiar southern accent.
00:00:56
Speaker
In the morning, Clay and Farnelin attended breakfast and were surprised to discover Glimke wasn't there.
Searching for Glimke and Discovery
00:01:02
Speaker
They began to look for him, and their search led them to the Learning Center's famed hot springs, where they met a young wizard by the name of Peter Goodacre, who they learned was the adopted son of Jarroth.
00:01:13
Speaker
They chatted for a few minutes, but given Peter didn't know who Glimke was, let alone where he was, they soon parted ways. Clay and Farlan decide to ask Jar-Arath directly and learn that Glimki had been taken to a place known as the Reformation Room, where he was having his ignorance lectured out of him.
00:01:34
Speaker
And given that this sounded like torture, Clay and Farlan endeavoured to find their friend as quickly as possible.
Underground Adventure and Mistaken Identity
00:01:39
Speaker
They convinced Peter to help them, and the young wizard broke into his adopted father's office. where he found a very clever and cool puzzle involving a piano, which he solved with great aplomb.
00:01:49
Speaker
This revealed a secret passage leading beneath the learning center. The three traveled into the tunnels below and rode a minecart to a locked ornate door with a massive silver lock. While examining this lock, Peter stopped to look at a nearby mud puddle where a man was hiding and watching
Cavern Search and Dragon Revelation
00:02:06
Speaker
them.
00:02:06
Speaker
The man attacked Peter and in an effort to help her newfound companion, Farland quickly stabbed the man to death. It was only after wiping the mud from his face did Peter realize that this was, in fact, someone he knew.
00:02:18
Speaker
former attendee of the Learning Center who had gone missing several years ago. A man named Jordan Johnson. With minimal time to spare, Clay and Peter used their combined magics to force the door open, and they continued on to find themselves in a network of caverns with sunlight streaming in from openings far above.
00:02:37
Speaker
The three split up, and Peta discovered that the monsters of the desert he was warned about were mere illusions, another lie from Jar-Arith. Farnelon dove into a large hot spring, and at the bottom she found a brass dragon skin.
00:02:52
Speaker
Lastly, Clay found the Reformation, and saw Glimki doing his best to block out the incessant lecturing of a magically enchanted Jar-Arith statue.
Canada Day Chaos and Quiz
00:03:01
Speaker
Clay broke down the door, and as Farnalyn and Peter followed her in, they were reunited with their missing friend.
00:03:07
Speaker
But before they could celebrate, Jararth's voice arose again, this time from the man himself. However, man isn't quite the right word. As Jararth fell upon all fours, and they watched in horror as he transformed into a dragon.
00:03:24
Speaker
You already said all that. No, I didn't. You're wrong, you're wrong, you're wrong, you're wrong, you're wrong, you're wrong, you're wrong. Ahem. Sorry. On with the story. on with the story
00:03:49
Speaker
Come gather round, travelers, and sit on the stoop. We'll tell you a story about Batsu. Three lovable scamps in our traveling troop.
00:04:03
Speaker
We'll tell you a story about Batsu.
00:04:20
Speaker
It's Supertime.
00:04:25
Speaker
but but bob bob bob bob bu but bu but but but but but but but but but That's right. We're running it back. Last time we didn't know what the French anthem was. And guess what? We still don't. What was that song?
00:04:36
Speaker
I don't know. I don't care because guess what? It's Canada Day. At the time of recording, it's Canada Day. Don't look so surprised. Don't look so surprised. Don't look so surprised. Wipe that expression off your face.
00:04:47
Speaker
Guess what, kids? We're back. It's Canada Day. And in in a spirit of celebration and liberation, We've brought in our former owner, Elliot, who is going to introduce everybody on this fine day.
00:05:03
Speaker
Elliot, please take it away. What a fun twist that you didn't inform me of. Yeah. Okay, we'll start with you then, Zach. Head of the show, give me your favorite fact about Canada.
00:05:18
Speaker
Canada is the widest country that I've ever been or made aware of. Okay, and who do you play? I play God and all his creation. Fantastic. I'm going to jump right over to you the sibling, keep it in the family. Shannon, give me your favorite fact about Canada.
00:05:38
Speaker
my name's Shannon. I play Fauna Linveidark and my favorite fact about Canada is that a Canadian invented the garbage bag. You are all so welcome. Wow, must have been smelly before that.
00:05:51
Speaker
Okay. Yeah, the whole world was. We cleaned it up. I will jump over to Prima. Favorite Canada fact, please. And who do you play? Hi, I'm Prima. I play Clay Campbell.
00:06:01
Speaker
My favorite fact about Canada is that I live here. That's it. but I'd like to change my fact. My favorite fact is also that Prima lives here. It's late.
00:06:13
Speaker
Okay, I've just been introduced to, but one of my favorite of the four... to I said one of my favorite. yeah Spod 404. Yeah, yeah.
00:06:26
Speaker
Jordan, favorite Canada fact, please. And who do you play? I play Glimki Trefella. And our favorite fact is it's a country in North America. Rare distinction. oh Pretty rare distinction.
00:06:41
Speaker
And there's like 200 countries or something. That's so true, actually. And, hey, I'm just going to creep back in I know I gave up my duties, but Elliot, who are you? Who do you play? And maybe tell us a little bit, maybe a little something something you've been whipping up in the old TTRPG factory. Okay. Sipping your potions and stirring your vials. And I made it sound like I was going to let you speak, but I decided, what if I don't?
00:07:08
Speaker
Take it away. Monologue. Monologue. Okay, thanks,
Battle with Jar-Arith's Statue
00:07:12
Speaker
Zach. I didn't i get to ask a favorite can of fact. What's your favorite can of fact? I like your maple syrup. It's not really a fact, but it's more of a a nice opinion.
00:07:23
Speaker
I have had it once, I lied, I said I haven't, but i bought it in a nice glass bottle. It was so much more expensive than British maple syrup, but it was the good stuff. So yeah. And yeah, I am Elliot, I play Peter Goodacre for a little guest spot, and I am also part Inkblade Publishing.
00:07:38
Speaker
I say part of, I'm the only part of Inkblade Publishing, one of one. ah We make, I make, i'm I'm trying to collaborate people, they don't exist. It's me, everyone. Yeah, we make, I make, oh my god, I'm part of the team.
00:07:53
Speaker
Gothic or Plague Worlds 5e, TZWG compatible. It's on Kickstarter November. It's dark fantasy, gothic, scary, plagues, diseases. Victoria inspired. Go check it out. Oh, you bet we will.
00:08:04
Speaker
Some of us maybe already have. and We have, and it is very cool. not jealous at all. I can send you a different word. but
00:08:17
Speaker
We join our heroes, briefly reunited in a moment of triumph in the Reformation Room, hidden deep within the deserts of Kobaris.
00:08:30
Speaker
Glimke, the last 12 hours, 18 hours, the last day, time has gotten stretched and twisted like a bowl of fucked up spaghetti, and you...
00:08:44
Speaker
You've been holding on to everything you have just to just to try and stay yourself because there's a lot of ideas being thrown at you and you know they're wrong, but maybe if you just let them the lecturing stop.
00:08:58
Speaker
And then the lecturing did stop and you looked up to see your friends, Clay and Faunalyn and some other bloke that you've never seen before. Did they replace you already? That's fucked up.
00:09:12
Speaker
What's that? But before you have a time to question these feelings, your captor, whose statue has been lecturing at you for the last X hours, the the man himself appeared within the room, and before you really had a chance to react, molded and changed and transformed into this massive brass dragon.
00:09:39
Speaker
You see him now standing before you, sunlight streaming in from far up above. He has this large, smooth, brassy plate that kind of adorns his skull. These two chin horns that protrude and slightly curl out.
00:09:55
Speaker
As he's talking, his tongue flicks out, you see it's forked, he's got this long stretched body, and as he transforms you can smell an odor of hot metal kind of wafting off of him.
00:10:06
Speaker
His scales are this warm burnished brass color, but they're slightly green where they connect with his wings and frills, and more red at the edges.
00:10:17
Speaker
It's hard to say because he's curled up and wrapped up near the door to this chamber. but you'd estimate he's somewhere around 50 feet long and maybe eight feet wide his wings stretch out and they're not as big as you might have thought but they still probably from tip to tip span 40 feet oh my god you have previously met a dragon the dragon krigamon who was quite young by comparison you'd estimate jar arith is probably three times the size of krigamon
00:10:48
Speaker
How old is he? And do I have anything? So you're wearing some clothes. Your armor has been taken from you along with your sword.
00:11:00
Speaker
like you see that Clay is holding these items. Oh, thank God. Because they were in a chest just outside the the door. Okay, so I assume I don't have time to don armor, but at least I have my shield.
00:11:15
Speaker
Yeah, you've got your sword and shield. And I'd say as like maybe you grab these things from Clay, Jar with his voice just booming out says, well, what do you think of the real me, son?
00:11:28
Speaker
Not quite what you were expecting, huh? You see Peter's like face kind of drop, not really understanding what's really happening. His whole world has just been sort of twisted. Oh, I suppose this is another one of your little illusions, dad.
00:11:43
Speaker
And I pick up a rock and throw it at him. I'm expecting it to go through. Yeah, it ah bounces right off his his head plate and he just looks at you with... Give me an inside roll if you want.
00:11:54
Speaker
ah I didn't even have dice ready. I forgot this is what doing. You know, you're in good company. i think it's about one in never that everyone has their dice out at the start of the recording. I rolled a nine digitally. It didn't save me.
00:12:09
Speaker
And a plus one. Ten. Ten. With a ten, it is hard to read. You have grown up with this individual, but only ever in an elven form. You can't quite read if it is contempt or pity But as this this rock or ball of clay bounces off of him, kind of just slides off of his scales, you see that bits of it kind of harden as it as it scrapes down him.
00:12:35
Speaker
And he looks at you and says, I'm afraid I'm very real, Peter. The other things you may have seen were security measures. But no, this is me in the flesh.
00:12:47
Speaker
Clay, did you ask out loud how old he is? Or was that just a prima question? Just a prima question. I don't think Clay's first instinct is how old are you? Sure.
00:13:00
Speaker
Ballad. Just slack, John. How old are you? Krikamon was four, so as at least more than four. At least more than four. That checks out. Now, let me be clear.
00:13:12
Speaker
I could kick your asses, I could melt you in fire, i could leave you in here for all eternity, and frankly, I don't think there's much you could do about it.
00:13:22
Speaker
So instead, rather than test your physicality, test your mettle, I'm going to test your minds. And if you have actually learned enough here to challenge my authority, son, and corrupting figures that have taken him from me, then perhaps I will let you go.
00:13:40
Speaker
If you fail my little pop quiz, then no in a matter of speaking, I will kick your ass. How's that sound? Very fair. So fair. Uh-huh.
00:13:51
Speaker
Perfect. And he opens his mouth and you watch as this shimmering sort of mist exhales out of it and wafts over to this large, larger than life statue of Jararth in his elven form.
00:14:07
Speaker
And you watch as the statue on... creaky stone joints sort of slowly rolls to life and the voice that was emanating from it before which was going from stiff stone lips that didn't move now you watch the the face animates and the mouth begins to move and in the same voice says congratulations you've spent enough time in the reformation room to be given a chance at dismissal what a fortunate opportunity for you Answer my questions and there's like a pause.
00:14:40
Speaker
Four. And you shall be permitted to leave. If you fail to answer all four correctly, i will kick your ass and we will try again 10 days time.
00:14:53
Speaker
10 days. Okay. I see that there are... four of you. And as such, I will ask you four questions.
00:15:05
Speaker
Each of you may only answer one question. So I ask you now, who shall
Peter's Dragon Identity Crisis
00:15:11
Speaker
answer the first question? Peter will.
00:15:16
Speaker
I vote Peter. He's been here before. Maybe he knows the answers already. Peter's a good pick. The thing is, If I know my dad, he's going to want to put the toughest one at the end.
00:15:28
Speaker
And if I'm the most knowledgeable here, well, then you might want to save me to that fourth and final spot. Okay, I'll go first. Glunkey wants to kind of step up. i He's clocked the son-father thing.
00:15:44
Speaker
But he's going to be like, I've been in here for the last 18 hours. It's fresh. I think I can take the toughest one. Well, oh go for it, Mr. Glimpki.
00:15:56
Speaker
ill I'll take the third spot then, perhaps. Okay. All right. So Fallon, you go first. Fallon wants to go first. I definitely want to. Yes, want is the correct word for the situation. Okay, statue, ask me your little question.
00:16:12
Speaker
The head scrapes and turns as it goes to look at you. We'll add that in post. It'll sound great. Or we won't if I can't find a free sound effect for stone scraping on stone. Very possible. Happens all the time. I put in these little notes and then cut them out because it's too much work. Just make your own sound of stone against stone. double a brick from the Wow, I think I almost passed out from that. That was crazy. Anyway, ah the statue turns to look at you, Fondaloon, and says...
00:16:38
Speaker
The Bird People of Stalak, the City of Endless Night, claim to view constellations entirely different from the ones with which we are familiar. Do you a believe the Bird People of Stalak, the City of Endless Night, are lying about viewing constellations entirely different from the ones with which we are familiar?
00:16:53
Speaker
B. The Bird People of Stalak, the City of Endless Night, are just hanging onto to the bottom of this so-called flat world with their little bird feet or some such. Or C. The world is actually round unless the bird people still act the City of Endless Night, or standing like normal people as they view constellations entirely different from the ones with which we are familiar.
00:17:10
Speaker
Also, why? Also, why? The answer is, the answer, of course, is C. The bird people of Stalak view, think that they view different constellations because the world is round, which means that they're actually upside down in a manner of speaking. So the constellations that they see are also upside down.
00:17:30
Speaker
I didn't really understand the science because I didn't have the pleasure of spending time in the Reformation Room. But the gist of it is that I think the world is round and the bird people... are misguided in their belief that the world is flat and also the world is round.
00:17:45
Speaker
Thank you. theres There's a long pause. And then the statue says, That was mostly correct. However, you did say that you didn't spend time in the Reformation Room, which we currently are in. And then Jararth the dragon speaks up and says, No, no, we'll allow that one. She she got the broad strokes correct. That's ah that's good enough.
00:18:04
Speaker
And the statue says... All right, then. Never mind. You are correct. Congratulations. And you watch as it's almost like a snake shedding its skin. You watch a layer of stone start to flake and fall off of this statue, landing on the ground in piles and just kind of scattered within this chamber.
00:18:23
Speaker
And it looks like by answering this question correctly, the statue has diminished in some capacity. Who will answer my next question? I'll go.
00:18:38
Speaker
The way we only get like the faintest hiss of like the quietest little creaking noise. Like you're really making yourself pass out to us to hear a quiet H sound. google good The visual difference between the sound is like, yeah.
00:18:52
Speaker
That's a lot of effort. The statue turned its head to look at you play and said, what did that sound like again?
00:19:04
Speaker
Come on, that maybe? We'll workshop it. Sounds good. Can we do some pickups at the end? I'll just do like 20 or 30 of those and we'll choose the best gens. like Objects have mass and mass creates gravity.
00:19:16
Speaker
If the world were flat, shouldn't we all be sucked to the middle of it and we'd all be swimming in the big old ball of flesh and limbs in the middle of the ocean? Hmm?
00:19:28
Speaker
ask the question? It's not multiple choice? That's the phrasing?
00:19:37
Speaker
Well,
00:19:42
Speaker
the world has gravity like a plate has gravity, you know? Like you hold it up and stuff doesn't fall off. Don't you think so? Oh.
00:19:53
Speaker
Can Foneline reach over and slap Clay across the face and say, the world is round. you do so. And the statue she says, now I'm sorry.
00:20:05
Speaker
the answer we were looking for is the world is round or something to that effect. Unfortunately, we will be kicking you ass in some capacity today.
00:20:16
Speaker
The degree of which remains to be yet to be seen. Now, Jararth, the dragon, he kind flaps his wings and he's going to... there's As you're in this room, you see that there's like a... We'll say like he like flaps his wings and there's a little rumble as ah some sand starts to trickle in from above and forms like this you know this pile of sand in like along one of the walls.
00:20:35
Speaker
And he's going to scramble up on top of that, looking down at you. And he looks at you, Clay, and says... Now you see, the first step to understanding that the world is round is to stop using vocabulary such as plates or flats or discs or anything of that such.
00:20:48
Speaker
If you had said, oh, ah the world is round, it's shaped like a ball. No, we wouldn't get sucked into a ball of flesh or something because we could never because we aren't.
00:21:01
Speaker
Then maybe.
00:21:04
Speaker
because ah Question three, says the statue. Who am I supposed to look at?
00:21:12
Speaker
I'll take the question, statue man. Jararth the dragon looks at you, Peter, and says, now, son, your initial inclination was correct. The last question will be the hardest. And that's okay, because Mr. Treefellow here spent 18 hours in the Reformation room, and he knows a but bunch of stuff, much more than my son who spent, i don't know, how old are you, son? 20 years old? 20 years here on the island learning at my teat.
00:21:35
Speaker
But that's fine. Hey, Glumky looks at Peter. I can- I'll trade if you want to trade. Yeah. No wait, let me go again. I can do it this time. me a second chance. I want to see this head do spin in circles.
00:21:54
Speaker
Peter, I sometimes feel dizzy, and I can only believe that that is the result of Zav spinning rapidly around its axis. If the world were flat, there wouldn't be an axis.
00:22:05
Speaker
So why am I dizzy?
00:22:09
Speaker
Well, father, maybe you're dizzy because you believe those lies that you tell everyone out there. But if you want your little placating answer, I suppose that the earth is round or the globe, whatever you want, whatever would get us out of here.
00:22:29
Speaker
But I don't want to play your games anymore. There's a ah long pause and then the statue says, I'm sorry. The answer we were looking for was you have an undiagnosed inner ear disorder or possibly you spent in circles for a little too long before flying.
00:22:47
Speaker
Also, the world is round. and loved the defiance. We are going to die, but that was great. excuse The statue. Cock, cock. ah gosh got da turns to look at you a Glimke, and says, I've recently turned my attention to Zav's magnetic fields, but I'm having a difficult time with the maths.
00:23:10
Speaker
If the divergence squared of the potential equals zero, and if the potential multiplied by the radial distance of Zav as it approaches infinity equals zero, and if the partial derivative of the potential over the partial derivative of the radial distance multiplied by Zav's radius at any given angle and the golden ratio equals Z, and if 1 over the radial distance multiplied by the partial derivative multiplied by the potential over the partial derivative over the any given angle multiplied by Zav's radius times the measured angle times the golden ratio equals x and 1 over the radial distance times the sine of the measured angle times the partial derivative of the potential over the partial derivative of the measured angle multiplied by Zav's radius multiplied by a given angle multiplied by the golden ratio equals y and if
00:24:01
Speaker
The potential multiplied by the radial distance multiplied by a given angle multiplied by the golden ratio plus two pi equals the potential multiplied by the radial distance multiplied by the measured angle multiplied by the golden ratio.
00:24:16
Speaker
What are the spherical harmonics of Zav? Oh, good, an easy one. You got this. Jararth the dragon speaks up and says, Yeah, this one's really been s stumping me for a while, so if you can ah help me out, then that would be great.
00:24:28
Speaker
This one wasn't in the lectures. It's crazy. He he went off book.
00:24:37
Speaker
I wrote the books! And he gestures over at a massive bookshelf, all with titles written by Jararth. Gunky's going to turn to the group and be like, What do you think the odds are?
00:24:48
Speaker
Not with the differential thing, but of the four of us making it past this guy. um I guess if we like push Peter at him and then run maybe like 25%. That can be plan B. Glimke's gonna reach into his bag and he's gonna pull out the black leaf that he has stashed away.
00:25:09
Speaker
Yeah, good, let's get high. i didn't want to die like this. Wasn't there some kind of benefit or how did it work? No, I think it just makes you stoned. Okay. No, no, that's good.
00:25:21
Speaker
Can I, while I'm conversing with the group, put it on the end of a javelin?
00:25:31
Speaker
Sure. Why not? Why does that work? Like when you're like, just like sticking it on? yep Just like chewing on the leaves and like rubbing them Rubbing it on the blade. No chewing. No chewing. No chewing.
00:25:45
Speaker
Yeah, and Glumki will turn around and be like, I don't know. He's going to take a running to start and try to throw this chaplain at Jarareth with the dragon. So, two things happen.
00:25:59
Speaker
First off, the statue says, That's correct! Me neither!
00:26:05
Speaker
The javelin goes flying through the air. I need to make an attack roll against Jar Arith. Or is it really going to die? No, we're good. Fine. This is a foolproof plan.
00:26:18
Speaker
I can make a maneuver, so I'm going to add a superiority die to make it a precision attack. Amazing. But after my roll, so hopefully the roll's good anyways.
00:26:31
Speaker
What is my plus? Ooh, okay, that's not very good. Let's see, hopefully the superiority at I is good. All right, that brings me to a whopping nine. Oh my god.
00:26:46
Speaker
Oh no. Wait, is that with the precision attack? Yeah.
00:26:52
Speaker
Holy shit. I will say as the statue says that's correct, another layer of stone falls off of it. And we'll say just one of these like pieces of stone just lands on the javelin, just snapping it in two. And the black leaf just sits there in the sand, maybe like 20 feet away.
00:27:13
Speaker
i will say as a group, you have one more dose of black leaf from your initial drug purchase. Nice. right, Peter, you're up, and I'm going shove you. Jar-Arith the dragon flaps his wings and says, I should probably reprogram that last question because I really do need an answer. And while it's technically correct that I don't know, it's not really helping my whole math journey.
00:27:38
Speaker
That being said, ah you did get two correct. So we got three correct. No, you got too correct. You were correct because you attempted to placate me by pandering and telling me that the world is round, even though you clearly don't believe it, which is great. The world is round. That's what I want to hear. Thank you.
00:27:56
Speaker
And then Clay and my son both decide to try and lecture me, even though I'm the one who does lecturing around these parts. Not all the reason people come, you know? Crazy. Anyway, statue kicked their asses, and the statue is going to doom.
00:28:12
Speaker
boom step off the pedestal and i need you all to run initiative and to clarify glimpy is on so i didn't get advantage for a surprise round crazy You did not. I will say, Jordan, I will say, if you wanted Glimke during this all, maybe sensing how things were going after like Clay's answer, could have been donning his armor if you would. oh that would be huge because I'm a squishy boy right now.
00:28:43
Speaker
Yeah, it sounds good. You've had enough fights of late where you were undressed. Absolutely unequipped, yeah. That is huge. My initiative is a four. Four for the wizard. and got a nine. I got a 17. 17.
00:28:54
Speaker
seventeen I got an 11. Wow, pretty low rolls, kids. Yeah, that's great. 17? All right, not you. Clearly not you. Is this a dome-shaped room?
00:29:05
Speaker
It is cylindrical. It is a circle, and you see that the the walls extend up like hundreds of feet, and you see open sky above. And you notice Glimke's looking a little pink. He's definitely got some sun exposure. Oh, no.
00:29:16
Speaker
Oh, Gotta wear a hat, dude. think he had a choice. My bad. Sorry. Next time I'm being tortured, I'll bring my hat. Again, not a fancy map, but there's your general idea. The door is at the bottom. Jar Arith is standing guard over it. We'll say he flies over and he's kind of just standing there, blocking anyone's attempts to leave. And the statue is going to, like I said, turn to life.
00:29:44
Speaker
So starting with initiative count 20, Jar-Arith is going to roar. Jar-Arith the man is going to roar. And the sand in the room starts to swirl a bit and he flaps his wings and this large wind starts blowing around him.
00:30:02
Speaker
And I need everybody to make a strength saving throw. Ooh, 19. I got too. i' not a nat twenty Oh, here we go. i mom I got an eight minus one. Hell yeah.
00:30:19
Speaker
Glimki, you grab your sword, you dig it into the ground, you stand stand tall. Clay, maybe you do the same thing with your mace, or maybe you grab onto Glimki's shoulder and the two of you stand there. Peter, you wrap some mud or c clay around your hands and dig in and hold firm.
00:30:34
Speaker
Faunelin, you are pushed 15 feet back away from Jararth, and you are knocked prone. Oh. Ooh. I'm fine with being further back from Jar Aris. That part I'm fine with.
00:30:46
Speaker
And we will go to... Glimki. Crap. Okay, so this giant statue man's right next to us? Yeah, it's like in the center of the room. We'll say you're like, you know, five, ten feet away at most. Okay. Hmm.
00:30:59
Speaker
My goodness. I mean, besides the hack and slash, what can we do here? I'm going to stay right next to Clay, and I'll ready an action for when it comes into range. not going to move.
00:31:12
Speaker
Okay. You ready an action? ah I want to attack it if it steps into range. Sounds good. Finally, you are blown head over ankles, ankles over head, you tumble away, landing. We'll say you're blown up against one of these dunes of sand that have formed in the room, and you kind of just like land there, like familiar to when you were in a ah fighting ring. You kind of push back into it, and then it is your turn, though. I will say as you fall prone, ah daca ga da daca
00:31:42
Speaker
the statue's head turns to look at you, perhaps sensing that you are in a more vulnerable position as you are Okay, um I would like to use my movement to stand. Okay, that's half your movement. And then I would like to rack my little brain for one day I'll do a combat turn in the combat. Why?
00:32:01
Speaker
oh No, it's gets's gambits every time. My options are hilarious gambit or stab him with my sword. Gambit it up. Gambit it up.
00:32:13
Speaker
Okay, does Faunelin know anything about dragons and their relationship with knowledge in their hoard, like would a dragon covet a big-ass bookshelf hidden away in its hoard?
00:32:25
Speaker
Would that be like a precious possession, is what Faunilin's wondering. Give me a nature check or history. and will let you choose.
00:32:36
Speaker
That's not very good. It's going to be a two. Oof. That's how my gamuts normally go, to be honest. I'm going to say dealer's choice, by which I mean Faunolin can believe that a creature who claims to care about spreading knowledge and information would have an affinity for a bookshelf containing knowledge.
00:32:58
Speaker
It's also possible that this is all a grift, who knows, maybe he doesn't actually care about knowledge. I'd say with the his motivations and draconic lore might be obscured to you, whereas Clay, who has a book of dragons, might have been able to give you a more concrete answer.
00:33:17
Speaker
Rogues are so boring, actually. I'm never playing rogue again. Just sneak attack. I wonder if next turn I'll sneak attack. Yeah. Okay. I am going to use the remainder of my movement to move towards the books.
00:33:32
Speaker
Okay. I'll say you still an action. That one's like a free action to make that assessment. Actions are... here's the Here's the secret. My actions are boring and I don't care to take them away. i I'm actually curious about this line of thinking you just said.
00:33:46
Speaker
We're in the Reformation Room. The statue needs to know if the people have learned the thing. What if this guy is just grifting? Could we catch him in a lie? and Oh, your gamut is interesting. Like turn the statue against him?
00:34:02
Speaker
Yeah, we'll see. We have different gambits, but you do your gambit. I'm going to try to set his books on fire. Oh my God. I'm setting something on fire again. How out of character. Okay. So you're attempting to light book on fire.
00:34:15
Speaker
I don't. Okay. Yeah. No, I am going to pull out my lantern and light it. I feel like all of this constitutes an action somehow. You don't have a ranged weapon, I don't think, so this is best I can do. don't have a ranged weapon?
00:34:27
Speaker
I don't know. I think I maybe just forgot to add it and it hasn't come up because I never actually do combat in combat. Anyway, I'm going to pull out my lantern and I'm going to light it. Seems to be like a bit of an Ouroborosian issue with your experience with combat. But we don't have to get into should it where umbrella can shoot bullets eventually.
00:34:44
Speaker
yeah Oh, umbrella gun. Hell yeah. Next turn I'll attack something. But this turn I'm going to light it and I'm going to look at Jar Arith and I'm going to yell, if you like your books, let us go unimpeded.
00:34:57
Speaker
Nobody's ass gets kicked. Make a intimidation check. Oh, okay. I'm going to stand for this one because standing makes me roll better. You roll natural 20s all the time.
00:35:09
Speaker
you Standing! That was a 17 and I think I'm pretty intimidating. Okay. That was 22! Jar Arith looks at you and says, Honey, I got copies of all these. i wrote them.
00:35:25
Speaker
And you watch smoke start to billow from his mouth and a jet of fire arcs across the Reformation room, hitting the bookshelf with explosive force as the entire bookshelf is consumed in flame.
00:35:39
Speaker
I blow out my lantern, blow the door, and put it back in my backpack.
00:35:45
Speaker
Okay, Glimkit, time for your gambit. Okay. The Statue of Jar Arath. is going to start charging after Faunilind with these heavy stone steps with each step just clouds of sand are kicked up around it.
00:35:59
Speaker
And as it's going, it is talking. It begins to lecture again. Now, you see, the thing that most folks don't understand is that if the world were flat, that would really piss me off. I've invested a lot time and effort into making sure people understand the world's round. I've seen it with my own two eyes. Guess what? I don't tell anybody this.
00:36:17
Speaker
I've never told anybody this in my life. I'm actually a dragon and I ah spread my wings and i flew up into the air and I saw that the world is a round sphere. Are you telling me that my eyes are lion eyes?
00:36:28
Speaker
I don't think so. And the statue is going to up on top of one of these sand dunes and look down at you, Faunolin. And I'm going to say actually from this vantage point, it can look out around and see all of you.
00:36:42
Speaker
Yeah, I'd say with everyone's just within range. And you watch as this, these words are hitting your ears and it's just, it's exhausting. It is draining. It is miserable to listen to.
00:36:54
Speaker
And I need everybody in the room to make a wisdom saving throw. No. I rolled badly because I didn't stand. got an eight. I got an 11. got a nine. Oh my god, my wisdom is so good. I got 22. 22. That's a wise.
00:37:08
Speaker
good ah got a twenty two twenty two so why Faunolin, Glimke, and Peter, you are all slowed.
00:37:21
Speaker
who Which means you cannot use reactions. Your speed is halved. You cannot take more than one attack on your turn. And you can take an action or a bonus action, not both.
00:37:32
Speaker
The effect will last for one minute, but you can repeat the saving throw at the end of each of your turns. shesh And that will be the statue's action. And we go to Clay, the only one who is not slowed.
00:37:42
Speaker
Okay, I would like to shout. I think you have an undiagnosed ear problem and an undiagnosed eye problem. The world is obviously flat, and i would like to cast Guiding Bolt at the statue, aiming specifically for the swivel neck, which I think is its weak point. Cool.
00:38:05
Speaker
Give me an attack roll. That was a good quip. I like it. Plus seven, 17? 17. Dang. Is what you needed. Okay. As this guiding bolt. Actually, it's a little bit of a lie. It was what you would have needed if you hadn't gone two questions correct. The AC was lowered. I forgot about that. AC is lowered, but 17 will still hit, of course, because 17 is greater than something that's less than 17. Math.
00:38:29
Speaker
so Yeah, see? Jararth, not so at math. Math checked out. But me, I'm good at the maths. Okay. All right. Clay, you hit. Give me some damage.
00:38:40
Speaker
ah fourteen fourteen 14. 14 damage on 4d6. Nice. That's actually very average. Yeah. i how you like That's almost full. But no, 46. That's pretty good. Okay. Perfect.
00:38:55
Speaker
This bolt shoots out. And I will say as you as you cast this ah spell, Clay, The amulet around your neck, it pulses or it seems to like almost like gravity is working on it.
00:39:08
Speaker
Not quite right. It's like almost like pulling to the side. It's not hanging straight down. It seems like it is attracted to something in this room. Almost like the center of a flat disc.
00:39:19
Speaker
Come on. Is it pulling towards Star Earth? Yes. Yes, it is. Did Faunlin find a brass scale before? She did. Did she give it to Clay? She did not have a chance to give it to you before you were interrupted.
00:39:35
Speaker
She's muted while she eats pretzels, but she said something probably very funny. She said, one day, and they're not pretzels, you dullard, they're fish crackers. Dullard. Dullard, yes. Dullard.
00:39:47
Speaker
The undiagnosed eye problem. Okay, okay. All right. Hey, hey, hey. I'm just not the bad guy here.
00:39:58
Speaker
I just invented him and made him be mean to you. Okay. So Clay, you hit it. And yeah, this, this amulet seems to be like tugging towards Jar and you hit the statue in, in the neck, right in that weak spot where you were aiming. And you see that it is like glowing and you can see the cracks and the seam where the neck connects with the head is illuminated by this guiding bolt.
00:40:21
Speaker
And we will go to Peter the slow. this Thank you.
00:40:28
Speaker
like they Okay, okay. Seeing that he didn't seem to care about the books, the javelin didn't hit Clay's making some headway on the head of the statue.
00:40:41
Speaker
You get advantage if you try to hit him again. Okay, I'm going to say, you're only a statue of stone and your master sits on a throne using a disguise and full of lies.
00:40:53
Speaker
I'm done listening to you drone. And I'm going to cast Chromatic Orb on the statue on the same point. Is that a freestyle? No, I've read that down. made that up when we were like, oh, we're going fire a statue quickly. Okay. Give me an, uh, is that an attack roll or saving throw?
00:41:13
Speaker
It's a spell attack. Spell attack. Okay. Go for And advantage? Yes. With advantage.
00:41:20
Speaker
Not good. You said I needed a 17. did limerick. got a advantage? Yeah.
00:41:26
Speaker
got fourteen with a bit yeah ah
00:41:33
Speaker
Damn it. I'm still working on my performances.
00:41:38
Speaker
Okay. This guiding bolt, I will say, what flavor of chrome was it? It would could be acid to melt his neck joints. Amazing.
00:41:49
Speaker
Okay. I will say, uh, you're close and it raises up an arm and you see just like little pock marks form as it it absorbs the the the shot of this chromatic orb, but it blocks its weak point and we'll say it doesn't do any real physical damage to it.
00:42:06
Speaker
The statue turns to look at you. It's getting
00:42:12
Speaker
worse.
00:42:15
Speaker
Now, everybody knows me as Ja'arith, but in reality, because I am a dragon, something I've never told anybody before, my name is actually Ja'arith. Pardon? And we'll go to the lair action. Oh, ah pet Peter, you may make a saving throw if you wish to resist being slowed.
00:42:34
Speaker
Yes, I would. ah Wisdom. them Wisdom. That's a nine in total then. Nine. Still slow. Oh no, hang on. What? Saving throw. That's an 11.
00:42:45
Speaker
11. Still slow. Nice. We will go to the top of the initiative and Jar Arith is going to continue flapping his wings. And you see that these piles of sand starts to whip around the center of the chamber, kind of obscuring the statue.
00:43:02
Speaker
And I need everybody I need everybody around the statue within 20 feet of the statue, which will be all of you to make a constitution saving throw. Oh, yes. Natural 20 baby. yeah.
00:43:15
Speaker
here sixteen eighteen ah got a four oh no Is this an inverse of the scale? Yeah, it is. Clay, maybe because you're all are slow and you're like mid-blink when the sand kicks up and you're like I'll just keep my eyes closed for a second.
00:43:32
Speaker
Clay, you're blinking fast and you get a lot of sand in your eyes. ah You are blinded for one minute. You're giving through each of your turns once again and in the effect on yourself with a success. But you are currently blinded because cloud of sand is just swirling around. You cannot see what's going on. Oh, no.
00:43:50
Speaker
It is Glimker's turn. Didn't like that one, but we'll try. Glimker's? That's a first. Yeah, and a last. Glimker's? Oh my god. <unk> curs oh my god Okay, this is good. This is really good. Has the statue moved at all?
00:44:08
Speaker
ah Yeah, we'll say. ah Yeah, you know what? You know what? You know what? You know what? Because I didn't attack last time. but We will say as it went after Faunalin, we'll say it passed within range of you. It kind of ignored you. And we'll we'll let you have that attack. and then Okay, let's see.
00:44:22
Speaker
Let's see if we get it. Oh, 21. That's a hit. Okay, would you also... No. That's not my turn. I can't do that. Hmm? I was going to say Divine Smite it, but... I think Divine Smite it off turn.
00:44:38
Speaker
I don't know. Can you? You tell me. Yeah, it' just it's just you need to hit it with attack. Like when you hit with attack, right? Yeah, it doesn't have to be... a yeah So yeah, we'll say you can Divine Smite. Five, sure.
00:44:49
Speaker
Sick. Okay, 21. Seven. Plus two. Nine. Two more d8s.
00:44:55
Speaker
Should have been a Paladin Chairman. Another 9. 18 damage total. 18 total. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, you slash into this thing. it is still looking big and strong and tough and powerful, much like Jararth in real life.
00:45:10
Speaker
That's good. By now it is Glimpki's turn proper. nice did it it so it walked through my space it's no longer near me yeah we'll say it walked past you or like close enough that you could like lash out with that that killed action it climbed up to the sand dune slowed you so you can no longer take reactions remember in case uh you don't want to save any more actions because you were the trick of them at that point but it is your turn and i believe your speed is reduced to 10 feet because you are little man with long legs yeah damn uh okay i'm still next to clay clay you haven't moved right Nope. Okay.
00:45:41
Speaker
um we're just I'm just gonna lock lock in again, I think.
00:45:53
Speaker
How far is fallen?
00:45:58
Speaker
You know? Yeah, right. Right, right, right, right. What the hell was that, DM? i should have assumed it was am i not allowed to whimper mid-session sorry we will say faunelin is about 25 feet away kind of ran either around or over the sand dune towards the bookshelves and i see that this thing is still locked in on faunelin actually we will say as clay is blinded turns looks at cheooka cheuca che it turns and looks at
00:46:31
Speaker
That's clay. Okay. Can I do the same thing then? I'm just going to stay five feet from clay and ready an attack for when it walks into range. Same thing. Sure. and i moify wisdom I will I will advise because I'm a kind, ah a kind godly man who went to church for many years.
00:46:50
Speaker
You cannot take reactions. Oh, got it, got it, got it, got it. Okay. So slow. Then I'm just going to try to the save. was sinful man who never went to church, probably wouldn't have told you that.
00:47:03
Speaker
guess I could throw another javelin. Yeah, I would say you could probably just run up to it as well. Like, Fauna is 25 feet away, but it didn't get all the way to Fauna. Yeah, but there's like, it's I want to be next to Clay so I can protect Oh, that's sweet. Climpy cares about his friends even after they abandoned him and tried to bring him 30 eggs.
00:47:20
Speaker
I abandoned them. I hate all the eggs. Climpy's resistant to my effects to turn himself against the party. yeah I could throw a javelin. Yeah, why not? Yeah, why why not?
00:47:32
Speaker
Is that, oh, is the guiding bolt still in a effect? I think it was just one attack. yeah Got it. Sorry. Okay. That's okay. Oh, nice.
00:47:44
Speaker
I got a one. The sand is still whipping around. You throw this this bolt or this this javelin and very Wizard of Oz style. It just goes and is sucked up into the air and then like lands on the opposite end of the chamber and just like clatters to the ground.
00:48:01
Speaker
Anything else Glimp you use? Nope. ah The wisdom save. Six. Six. Still slow. Funnel the slow.
00:48:13
Speaker
and Okay. I'm going to actually attack the statue. then big day I've actually never used this ability before. who World Premier! Oh no, she's back on her bullshit.
00:48:27
Speaker
What will You're next. My question is, i have Master of Tactics where i can use the help action as a bonus action to give, to aid an ally in attacking a creature.
00:48:38
Speaker
It's bonus action. So do I just like specify on my turn who I want to help when the time comes around? Yes, but I will advise you because you are slowed, you can only take an action or a bonus action. That's fucked up. Okay, next turn.
00:48:51
Speaker
I am going to slowly drag my feet up to the statue, which I think I was quite close to. i'm going to, in slow motion, unsheathe my umbrella sword Everyone's wow, so dramatic. And you're like, you're trying your hardest to just draw this thing out. Yeah.
00:49:09
Speaker
I'm going to toss the opened umbrella part to be near Glimki because I know he needs the sun cover. And then I'm going to, in slow motion, swing to hack at the glowing neck also.
00:49:22
Speaker
And I have have advantage. Sneak attack, right? Because my friends are within. Glimki specifically stayed away. Remember like episode 21 when Glyphi's like, we should work on our team tactics.
00:49:34
Speaker
God. I'm doing my team tactic. I'm close to Clay.
00:49:40
Speaker
None of it matters. I rolled a natural one. All Let's go. Two ones in a row? Vamos! Already on. What happened? What happened to us? Oh, no. I don't know. I used to be lucky.
00:49:52
Speaker
yeah Okay. So, Fondolin, you try and stab this thing, and you just, like, stab foil first just into a chunk of stone, and your your blade bends, and you pull it back, and it does no damage.
00:50:03
Speaker
Would you like to make a saving throw against the slow effect? and Yeah, I would like to. but okay. Thank you. You're welcome. Oh my gosh. I just looked up my species traits. Sorry to interrupt. I have gnome cunning, so I actually am supposed to get advantage on wisdom saves.
00:50:19
Speaker
Would you like to re-roll? Yes. There we go. i Sorry, Shannon, what did you get? 21. Sorry. i three Three. Amazing. Glimke, you were like, oh, I'm so slow. And then you're like, no, wait a minute. I'm smarter than this. I'm a gnome. And you start moving fast again. You're like, just move fast. Okay, good.
00:50:36
Speaker
And you, your legs did did did did it kick into kick into effect. Scrappy-doo style. That's right. I'm bringing it back. Two podcasts with Elias. Puppy power. And your kick into effect. Wow.
00:50:48
Speaker
Ah, it hurts. ah I'm going to leave now. Jar Arrith, doom, doom, the statue, that is, is going to walk towards you, Clay, and say, now, to be clear, and maybe that was unclear before because this is ah ah a spoken medium, not a written medium. Now, when I'm presenting as an elven individual, my name is Jar Arrith, J-H-A-R space A-A-R-U-T-H.
00:51:15
Speaker
But when I'm presenting in my draconic form, my true name, not my true name and i like, oh I'm going to capture this man. I'm going bind him for all eternity to be my eternal servant or whatever. But like my name proper, my legal name is Jar Arworth.
00:51:29
Speaker
J-H-A-R apostrophe A-A-R-U-T-H. Wow. And it is going to make a multi-attack against you Clay, with advantage because you are blind. Oh.
00:51:41
Speaker
No. um Okay, now can I, because I am not slowed, I can use my reaction? Yeah. Okay, I'm going to step in front of her to use protection. Try to get my shield between, so I can impose disadvantage on the attack roll.
00:51:55
Speaker
Okay, so the advantage and the disadvantage cancel out, so these will just be two. Okay. Does does this apply to all attacks or just like It just says on the attack roll. You know what? I'm just going to say, because I don't feel like researching it. My gut feeling is it's like a single attack, but ah screw it.
00:52:12
Speaker
Why We will just say for both attacks, oh and you know, you're getting in its face. You're pointing the shield up. We'll say just two basic attack rolls against you, Clay. Come on.
00:52:23
Speaker
Does a 22 hit? Wow. That's absurd to ask. Wait, let me think about it. Yeah. Then you're going to hate my friend 26. oh bro my i I tried. I tried.
00:52:36
Speaker
You tried. Now, for what it's worth, the damage would normally be 3d8 plus 6, but because you did well on the pop quiz, and by well, I mean like you got 50% right, it is reduced to 2d8 plus 5 damage for each attack.
00:52:48
Speaker
So the first attack is going to hit you for 13 damage, Clay. oh okay And then the next will hit you for 17.
00:52:56
Speaker
Oh my god. I think that's a total of 30 damage. Okay. Okay. Dear god. Are you up still? Yeah.
00:53:07
Speaker
Cool. So Clay, you are rubbing sand from your eyes. There's just like, you can't see. Your eyes are burning. They're irritated. You feel someone run around you and then boom. but These two fists just pound into you, kind of reaching over Glimke. And you just like, you're you're wobbling. Like you barely managed to stay on your feet.
00:53:25
Speaker
And that will be Clay's turn, as it were. How do I get rid of the sand? Like, is that a check at the end of my turn? At the end of your turn, you can repeat the saving throw, yeah.
00:53:37
Speaker
Okay, well, interesting. If only we were level five. One day, one day. After this, ah hopefully.
00:53:49
Speaker
were Okay, well, since I can't see, she's going to clutch at her amulet. And can I like do a check to see if I know anything about brass dragons and if they have any weaknesses?
00:54:03
Speaker
Sure. Give me a... I'm going to let you choose between nature, history, or religion. And you can roll with advantage given your personal background.
00:54:16
Speaker
They're all minus one skills, though. Yeah, that's fair. You're not book smart. ah No, I have the dragon um encyclopedia, which hopefully that helps a little bit.
00:54:30
Speaker
I rolled a 10 minus one is nine. think I'm going to roll history. With advantage? That's with advantage? Oh, with advantage. Come on, come on. Yeah, that's with advantage.
00:54:42
Speaker
Oh, no!
00:54:45
Speaker
I will say you remember dozing through a sermon in your youth, spending some time at the Dragon's Heart Cathedral, and there was a a lecture that it was it wasn't the Brightscale, well it was the Brightscale, but it wasn't Warwick Humold in those days, it was his predecessor.
00:55:06
Speaker
who obviously recently passed away, thus paving the way for Warwick to take over as the bright scale of the the church. But I will say that this this lecture, this the sermon was going on for so long, and you heard one of the the sisters kind of quietly to another sister, very, very quietly, but just just loud enough that you could hear, say, ah he talks more than a bloody brass dragon.
00:55:29
Speaker
And you were able to infer in that moment that brass dragons are known for being very gregarious or talkative and they just like to hear the sound of their own voice just something you picked up i would say with a nine you maybe also know that they like to live in deserts or hot arid climates you maybe don't know like uh if you sing them a song from their childhood they'll die on the spot or anything like that i'd say with a nine you don't think you don't know the kill switch of jar arith But you do know, where like they like to talk a lot.
00:56:00
Speaker
Okay, then i will say, i don't give a shit how your name is spelled. And then I'm going to ah going to cast Flaming Sphere in the direction of the statue's voice. I don't think I need sight for this one. It just appears.
00:56:21
Speaker
Does it have to be on the ground? How does the sphere work? I want to cast it above his head. You know what? we We'll say this goes meteor style. like You can't see very well, but you just like reach up into the sky, hold your amulet aloft, and this burning ball of flame just starts to circle and form and then just plummets to be to the ground.
00:56:42
Speaker
And it'll just connect directly with the Jar'arith statue. What kind of saving throw does it need to make? It's a DC 15 dexterity saving throw. It gets a seven.
00:56:53
Speaker
Nice. Hell yeah. You want to see a sphere? I'll give you a sphere. We're going to claim sass montage. well yeah good and then how much damage?
00:57:06
Speaker
Eight damage. Boom. fire explodes in the air and the sphere we will say is currently like burning atop its head it might fall off at some point if it moves it's got to go it's got to go but that's fine for now it is like on a burning halo of fire ah but upon its head and clay if you wish you may try and uh save from being blinded Yes, I would like to do that. It's a con save?
00:57:32
Speaker
Yes. Oh, I rolled a 19 on the die. For a 21. Hell yes. Okay. i love it. You are no longer blind. You wipe the sand out of your eyes and you see this burning statue just like five feet back from you. It's got a 10-foot reach. We'll say 10 feet back from you because that explains why Glimke got in the way. Very cool. Anyway.
00:57:54
Speaker
Peter. Peter. Peter.
00:57:59
Speaker
We went an entire session without Yeah, we did pretty good. i'm Still attacking that statue thing, are we? Okay, I may have used that time to write another limerick, so... I'm productive.
00:58:13
Speaker
I'm gonna look at dear old Dragon Dad and then look back at the statue and I feel like since Dad isn't attacking us, I'm gonna and just plow through the statue and hopefully this ends the conflict.
00:58:25
Speaker
So I'm look at the statue and say, I'm bored of watching that head spin. With this spell, we'll surely win. Your boss is a drake, so let's hit the break. Now have some of your own medicine. And i cast Magnify Gravity.
00:58:39
Speaker
oh Nice. Let's go. Snap for Peter. Try and slow that guy down. hell yeah. What kind of saving throws? Constitution saving throw, please, Beck. Okay. So I will tell you, because I want y'all to like me. As part of this creature normally has magic resistance advantage on saving throws against spells and other magical effects.
00:58:58
Speaker
But given how you did on the on the quiz, it lost that ability. If you've gotten one less correct, it still had magic resistance. That's convenient. loses its magic resistance trait. Convenient. Convenient. All right. Convenient. All right. yeah No. All right.
00:59:14
Speaker
all right you know what you want 158 hp guys for real shit well i want you to know i rolled two dice anyway which was stupid of me but i rolled a one and a seven so ignoring the fact that i should have only rolled one is gonna fail so what is the effect of magnifying gravity when you increase uh gravity ah They take 2d8 force damage and its speed is halved until the end of the next turn.
00:59:43
Speaker
yeah Amazing. Slow boy. Yes. 14. 14. And this time I feel confident saying, that's pretty good. Yes. It's really high.
00:59:55
Speaker
Let's go. Okay. The ground around it cracks and you see sand just start to pool in around its its feet as it's the gravity is pulling it down. This crown of fire is just burning upon its head and it's not happy about that. Jar doesn't like that. Neither him nor his statue. Anything else, Peter?
01:00:13
Speaker
Even though you can't really do much else because you're slow. Well, that was a 10-foot radius. Could I have snuck Jar in that as well or was that is he too far away? I would say based off where he is, he's kind of closer to the door.
01:00:25
Speaker
do I'd say he's probably just outside of the radius. No worries. I just wanted to get him a little bit. Yeah, but I just wanted to hit your dad. Yeah, I'm mad. All right, now that'll be me. That'll be me. I do the little cons wisdom save for my slowness. Oh, yeah. You can wisdom save again against slow.
01:00:44
Speaker
It's an eight. You're so slow, Peter. Peter, I need you to... do something for me. Is that Marge? I was going for Willem Dafoe, but you know what? More Marge Dafoe. Anyway, lair action.
01:01:04
Speaker
Crap. yeah He claps his wings towards you once again and says, ah now, Peter, it didn't have to go this way. We could have talked this out like father and son, like we used to.
01:01:19
Speaker
We could have learned from each other, as we always have, but instead you threw that all away for some cheap thrills with your good time friends. And I need everybody to make a strength saving throw. we're We're the good time friends? We're not having a good time at all.
01:01:34
Speaker
18. Wow. Strength. Three. Five. I also go to five. Oh no. Neither can live while the other survives.
01:01:44
Speaker
Jordan, Glimke, you once again, we'll say you're blown off your feet. You grab onto the the foot of this statue and just hold onto your position. Clay, Faunelin, and Peter, you are pushed again 15 feet back and you are knocked prone.
01:01:59
Speaker
So for Peter, we would say maybe you like land up against the statue. Clay, we'll say you kind of like tumble between its legs and you land just behind it. And Faunelin, you are, we're going to say shoved into the flaming bookshelf.
01:02:11
Speaker
and you will take are we gonna say that five fire damage yeah we're gonna say five fire damage as just ash and like burning wood lands down around you your wig starts to smolder and uh that is jar's lair action and we go to ah glim glim glim the glim man the glim glam man we'll get there Have you tried Glimmus yet?
01:02:39
Speaker
I threw a K in there and it it felt bad, but maybe without the K I'd feel better. Oh no, okay. Okay, we're getting tossed around a little bit. That's okay.
01:02:50
Speaker
like that Shannon is suffering from the consequences of her own actions. That tends to be way things go. This is often the case around here.
01:03:00
Speaker
Okay, if I run... Oh, shoot. If I run over to Clay, I'll take an opportunity attack. And then we'll see your, like, you could you could move around the statue. To get to clay?
01:03:11
Speaker
Yeah, I'd say so. Okay, I'm going to use my action to give you some of my lay on hands. Yes, thank you. I'll give you 15 HP. Thank you. oh thank you use it. um So yeah, Gluki runs over to the through the sand, takes a knee, and his glowing green hands kind of presses against your you're back as we kind of lift you off the ground.
01:03:36
Speaker
And you feel a little bit better. Amazing. Anything else, Gluki? Much better. I don't think so. I'm just going to stay with Clay again.
01:03:49
Speaker
Okay. Funnel in. Funnel in on fire. Okay, well, I'm going to take a few steps away so that I'm no longer on fire. Amazing. And then I'm going to... I'm still slowed, so I'm going to just use my help thing, and I'm going to give Peter the help action.
01:04:08
Speaker
because he's been doing some cool shit. Glimke has been ignoring me and helping Clay instead, so Peter gets the boon this turn. It's a proximity thing. Sure, sure. We're closer.
01:04:22
Speaker
ah Physically.
01:04:26
Speaker
So, Peter will get advantage, and I don't have to be within five feet. This ability lets me be within 30 feet the person I can see. Okay. So what do you what do you say to him? I point at him with a shaking, burning hand, and I say,
01:04:38
Speaker
Do something! And um now I'm gonna make my saving throw to not be slowed anymore. something. Mother of God! That's another natural one.
01:04:49
Speaker
I'm not touching these dice anymore. Throw out. Yeah, these dice, they're Laura's dice, but they're going in the garbage. They're gone. Sorry, Laura. Crazy. Hey, sure. Thank you. Sorry.
01:05:03
Speaker
That's two natural ones in a row. I'm done with them. Amazing. So, Fonelin, you tell Peter to do better, and the statue is going to look down at the bumper crop of targets around it.
01:05:17
Speaker
Peter is slow. Clay is sickly. I think it's going to go after Glimke and Peter. Do an attack on each of you. How far is Peter from me?
01:05:28
Speaker
I'll say like 10 feet. God dang dang
01:05:32
Speaker
And he is going to, uh, cause he like landed on one side of the statue and Clay got blown to the other side. Yeah, fair. And the statue is going to look down at you both and say, now, perhaps you just aren't understanding me. Perhaps I haven't been clear.
01:05:47
Speaker
Perhaps we need a better demonstration of gravity. And it's going to raise both hands into the air and just come slamming down at the same time on both of you. Okay.
01:05:59
Speaker
Oh, I'm sorry. I am sorry. who Jordan, Glimke, that'll be 23 to hit. Ah, it does hit. oh Yeah, I think that just does just about does it.
01:06:09
Speaker
That will be 16 bludgeoning damage. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Peter, that is a natural 20. No! No! ah no Okay.
01:06:23
Speaker
Okay. Rolled, not crazy, 22 bludgeoning damage damage. Well, 23 was my max and I wasn't the max. So I am squished a little bit.
01:06:41
Speaker
Yeah. oh yeah Oh no. Just like two pillars of sand erupt from the ground as these fists come slamming down. And as the sand clears, Glimke is kind of dazed and Peter is crumpled on the ground, bleeding heavily.
01:06:54
Speaker
No! And the fight continues. The statue will end its turn without moving. So Clay, it will take the fire damage from your flaming sphere if you want to roll that. Oh, it makes a dex saving throw. Yeah, make the save first.
01:07:07
Speaker
And then is it save and take half damage if it succeeds? Yeah. Okay. It fails with a five. So it'll take the full 2d6. Which is six damage.
01:07:19
Speaker
It's starting to look a little beat up. Kinda. Sorta. Kinda. It doesn't have 150 health. Well, not anymore. like 100. and Okay. Yeah, that's six damage. All right.
01:07:34
Speaker
Clay, speaking of, it is your turn. You are concentrating on the flaming sphere, remember? Yeah. What would you like to do? Glimke just took a big punch. You're not doing great. Faunalin's mostly okay. I don't think I'm that okay. I started the fight at, like, low HP.
01:07:48
Speaker
I took six before and five now. I'm down to 11. Actually, yeah, that is pretty... yeah Clay, what would you like to do? I go, oh no, Peter, to your own son, that's just cruel.
01:08:02
Speaker
i will cast a healing word to Peter so he's not down anymore. Yes. You get one HP back. Oh my god.
01:08:12
Speaker
right, one plus four. Sorry, five, five. I rolled one. All right. Hell yeah. And then I'm going to ram my flaming sphere. Now, hey, technically, Can I do that? Healing word is a bonus action, correct?
01:08:26
Speaker
So you can't move this fear. Oh, can't. Yeah. i personally have never, personally, I've never been that guy. But today. How far is Peter from me?
01:08:39
Speaker
Peter is like 10 feet from you. Can i run around the statue and cast cure wounds on him as an action instead? Sure. That sounds great. So feel free to... Peter, you lose 5 HP.
01:08:50
Speaker
Watch what happens next.
01:08:54
Speaker
Clay sucks the healing words back into their mouth. And... remember eat yeah it And you get 8 health back instead. Okay.
01:09:06
Speaker
Amazing. So you get 8 and then you're going to bonus action sphere attack. Yeah. So another deck save. Okay. It will fail again for another 2d6 fire damage. Yes.
01:09:17
Speaker
And he'll take another six damage. Stacking up six more damage. Okay. Hell yeah. What does the sphere do to move away and then like come flying back into Arith?
01:09:28
Speaker
It like rolls over his foot and then comes back and rolls over his foot. It rolls down him. yeah Like the backs up. Backs up and just runs into him. Mechanically, this ball is on the ground, right? Like ground height? think and now it's on the ground. not actually on the... That's good for me. I'll need that.
01:09:50
Speaker
So the the ball rolls into Jara's statue once again. does another six fire damage. Peter, you are back up. And it is it is your toy and you are still slowed. You are prone.
01:10:04
Speaker
You're not having a good time. You're not having it. Welcome to the Bard Soup experience. Combat generally tough. We have the help action, right? But you have been helps. Yeah. So you wake up to see Clay standing over you and Faunlin shout out, do better.
01:10:20
Speaker
with the pointing finger emoji i didn't write a funny limerick this turn because i was
01:10:31
Speaker
i was squished
01:10:36
Speaker
Are we really gonna just keep hammering this thing or do we try a different tactic? I say the minds of my new friends. Do you want to kill your dad or do you want to like leave? I don't like him. so I feel like we're not gonna get him after a statue. it's Yeah, a statue's are already... yeah this Just a dragon after this guy.
01:10:56
Speaker
okay Once we're done with the statue... Coughs up blood. I'm gonna try something different. gonna say, hey there, dad, stop this thing before i get real angry and show you my true self.
01:11:15
Speaker
And I try and like imitate a dragon's breath, but shoot pyrotechnics and fireworks out of my hands, but like as my mouth towards him. Oh yeah. Okay, so... They could only be... Dragon Dead. What is the spell, I guess, first is my first question. Pyrotechnics is the actual spell.
01:11:38
Speaker
Amazing. Is there any effect beyond making beautiful... ah Deception? Hello? take can be blinded on a con save.
01:11:50
Speaker
Okay. And this is, sorry, this is towards your father, not the statue. Actual dragon, yeah. Okay. I made a real mistake by naming two characters Jararth in this fight. Jararth, Jararth, Jararth statue. Okay. So I am going to say, first off, first off, he will make a con saving throw.
01:12:07
Speaker
Yes. Ooh, he gets a 14. Actually, no, wait a minute. Saving throw, 19. 19. nineteen Fuck. ah My bad. Yeah. adult kids Yeah.
01:12:21
Speaker
He's a big boy. ah He saves. Yes. Okay. So yeah, this firework goes off in his face and he kind of blinks his eyes and then cocks his head. Could you make a deception check, please? Yes.
01:12:33
Speaker
So good at these. I can tell you you right now. Is the help action still prevalent or not? I am. I am doing better. Yeah, you know, we'll give it to you with advantage, why not?
01:12:47
Speaker
He's a kind DM! An 18. Yay! Magic mouth!
01:12:57
Speaker
Come on, stupid dragon. this This guy is easily fooled. He might believe that he adopted a dragon child. Could it be? My son? try What are the odds?
01:13:12
Speaker
Perhaps he inherited that for me. Oh god. Time slows down. If this were a stage play, the lights would dim and the spotlight would shine directly on Peter and Jar Arith.
01:13:29
Speaker
And you step forward and you threaten to reveal your true nature as well. And he cocks his head and he looks at you and says...
01:13:42
Speaker
Peter, you're not saying.
01:13:47
Speaker
Are you?
01:13:52
Speaker
this is You're not the only one with secrets, Dad. You know when you'd leave the window open at night? Well, I could fly out.
01:14:02
Speaker
I saw the world, and I see that it's round, too. That's why I've stuck around for so long. Okay, so I can chalk up your answers during the pop quiz to youthful rebellion and trying to hurt your dad by saying hurtful things about the world being flat. I can i can ignore all that.
01:14:19
Speaker
I'm just, I guess I'm asking then, Peter, what changed? Why have you turned against me if you still believe in our cause? Growing up here has been difficult.
01:14:32
Speaker
I didn't know you were the same as me. I thought I was unique and i thought i was odd. I thought I had these powers and I was something different. But seeing that we are the same, i mean it came as a surprise and maybe I was still fighting those natural urges to run away from home or fly away because I am definitely a dragon. But maybe we can work on this.
01:14:57
Speaker
Anyway, these people here, they've got nothing to do. They're not dragons like me and you. Let them go. Give me a persuasion roll. Whoa.
01:15:08
Speaker
Hi, one statue. Then we got to kill two dragons.
01:15:17
Speaker
a nine. Nine. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Peter, that's this is fantastic. know is new. There was a reason I fished you out of the ocean.
01:15:30
Speaker
Show me.
01:15:34
Speaker
Show me, son.
01:15:39
Speaker
And I will say the spotlight dims, the the theater lights come back on, the the fight renews in earnest. I will say, while you have not convinced him to give up the ghost, so to speak, he will not take a lair action this turn. So there will be no beating of wings or blinding sands or anything to that effect. So has not stopped him, but has maybe slowed him down slightly, distracted him.
01:16:04
Speaker
and And you can also end your turn with a saving throw against being slowed. okay come on A natural 20, let's go! Let's go! Could've used that one earlier, but this will do. One earlier would've been good. One earlier than you did.
01:16:22
Speaker
So it goes to the top of the order, the lair action is skipped, and we go to Glimke. You are wobbling. Peter has stepped forward and is shouting at his father, telling him he's a dragon, apparently. The statue cool who ga looks at you and says, Now, where will we?
01:16:41
Speaker
Oh, that's right. The world's round. Crazy. OK, sphere is on the ground. Is it yeah in its occupied space now?
01:16:52
Speaker
So it's like at its feet. If I were to push this thing into the sphere, would that hurt it again? It would have to make another save, maybe.
01:17:02
Speaker
I would let you make like a contested athletics check to like try and shove it in as your action. And if it failed, then it would take the the sphere damage, we'll say. Nah, no need. I'm going to run around.
01:17:15
Speaker
going to run around. um i try do
01:17:19
Speaker
I swing my sword. I'm going to run around it so it's between me and the sphere. I'm going to swing my sword. I got a 21. That'll hit. Yes. I'm going to... Fuck it. Why not? Let's do another Divine Smite.
01:17:34
Speaker
Yes, sir. Okay, so that's 8 plus 2. 7 plus 2 more d8. Oh, man. On the dice, not great. 13 slashing damage. And then because I've made an attack, I can use a bonus action to use another one of my maneuvers so I can do my Shieldmaster shove.
01:17:53
Speaker
So now I can use my bonus action try to shove the creature 5 feet. Contested athletics check? Yeah. I'll tell you. it's a It's strong. What'd you get? 19 on the dice, plus 2, 21. Come on. It has a plus 6 to strength. Come on.
01:18:14
Speaker
But I rolled a measly 6 on the dice. Yes. So you shove it. And sorry, does it fall prone? ah It just shoves 5 feet back. i feet Okay, so we'll say it just trips over this fireball, burning the soles of its stone feet.
01:18:26
Speaker
Yes. If one of you wants to roll another 2d6 fire damage. I'll roll it. Let's go. Yeah. That's five damage. That's okay. Let's go. That's 5,000 cards. We're chipping away. Maybe 10,000 cards.
01:18:41
Speaker
it is It's chipping. It is, I would say it looks pretty damaged. If statues could bleed, it would be. That's my cute way saying it's bloodied. Okay.
01:18:52
Speaker
Anything else? Nope. Okay. The Glim Glam does his Glim g Glam plan and we're on to Fauna Land. Wow. o I really, really hope I can contribute this turn. That'd be crazy. i I was knocked away from him. i was lit on fire.
01:19:11
Speaker
yeah you know what? I'm being so helpful this this turn. I'm going to point at Glimki I'm going to say, keep doing things.
01:19:25
Speaker
Yes! And do my Master of Tactics bonus action. And now I'm going to roll a wisdom save to see if I'm still slowed.
01:19:35
Speaker
That was a 19
01:19:39
Speaker
That's a 21. Am I still slow? You are no longer slowed. Yay! The... Oh my god. I can't help but feel like the rogue mastermind ability was intended to be like, I see its weak spot. If you strike there, it'll do this damage. Not like a...
01:19:56
Speaker
fight for me, squire type beats, but it works for you somehow. So amazing. You are no longer slowed. You yell at Glimke to stab the thing again. And we go to the statue's turn. It will attempt to you'll attempt to regenerate its slow ability. It fails to do so. And so it is going to paunch. We will say that Glimke just struck it.
01:20:19
Speaker
Clay is there. It's going to strike once at Clay, once at Glimke. And it's going to look at the two of you. Crack, I've always relied on the kindness of strangers. Crack, but I don't find you very kind right now.
01:20:32
Speaker
How far am I from Clay? You know what? You ran around it. You did the fireball thing. I will say that, you know, whatever. We'll see we'll say you wound up next to Clay through the movie of it okay but all. Yes, okay.
01:20:45
Speaker
I'll take the normal attack, but disadvantage on Clay's. Okay. So, Clay, you are attacked with disadvantage.
01:20:55
Speaker
Well, it would be a 16, but instead is a natural one. hello ah Sick. ah So Clay, this fist pounds down at you and Glimki just jumps in front, shield drawn, stopping the strike from hitting you.
01:21:11
Speaker
But it does leave Glimki exposed as another fist comes flying in with a 24. Yeah. And Glimki, you will take 12 bludgeoning damage. Okay, okay.
01:21:23
Speaker
That's the case of a man who's still got at least two HP.
01:21:29
Speaker
I got you, Clay. Thank you The statue pounds, pounds. Clay, speaking of getting got, it is your turn. Actually, the statue will burn again, so it'll make another dex save. Oh, yes.
01:21:40
Speaker
It is not rolled above like, I think a 10 on any dex save attempt. So it'll fail once again. That's good. Poor statue. Another six damage this time. Another six? What are you on? And you've not rolled above a six on the damage. That's crazy.
01:21:57
Speaker
That's fine though. Clay, it is your turn though. What do you, what do you wish to do? What do you wish to do? It's starting to look bloodied for a statue. Yeah, it still looks like it's got some fight in it, but it's the the hits are starting to add up for sure.
01:22:12
Speaker
Okay. If you asked me if it had a funny number of HP, I would say no, but it has one less than a funny number. 419 HP?
01:22:25
Speaker
I'm gonna cast Sacred Flame Okay. Is that a save? It's a dex save. Dex save. It fails. so Not a dex creature. Okay. That's good. I've learned that, so keep failing those saves.
01:22:37
Speaker
I got you. i Take 1d8. Nice. That's great. You pick two damage from that. Two damage. Love cantrips. Two radiant damage.
01:22:49
Speaker
Two radiant damage, and then I'm gonna slam my spear back into him. All right. Dex save? Another dex. Yeah. Another nine on the die. It is literally just like cannot get above 10. I fail.
01:23:01
Speaker
I need you to get at least like another six. Just every combination. Crazy. Okay. Clay, you are moving fireballs and calling down divine flames.
01:23:12
Speaker
ah There's just flame whipping around you. Your amulet is pulling heavily to the side towards Jar Arith. You feel like pulsing. It's it's hungry almost. And we will say it is unless you wish to move.
01:23:23
Speaker
I'll stay a here where Glenkeek can protect me.
01:23:28
Speaker
Peter's turn. Team tactics. It's working. Team tactics. Yeah. Tactics. So I know how to become a dragon. oh yeah, good luck. Yeah.
01:23:40
Speaker
Can I use the cantrip control flames and grab the flames from the bookcases and like pull them behind my back as like a set of wings?
01:23:52
Speaker
Oh. Give me Arcana check. You can definitely do this, but we'll see how how effective it is. I had 19, but let me add something. Okay, okay. Okay, okay. 24. 24.
01:24:05
Speaker
twenty four 24. Throws a wizard. yeah And apparently a dragon. Yeah. Who knew?
01:24:15
Speaker
This mantle of flame appears behind you. It's hot. It's hot on your back. You're like, you're you're biting your tongue. It's not quite burning you. It's not causing physical damage, but like, you're like, I don't know how long I can keep this up for before like my my clothes start to burn.
01:24:31
Speaker
But why what do you say as you do this? I say, I'm still new, dad. You can see this. have wings.
01:24:41
Speaker
We're the same. You'll have to teach me. Let me become your true son. Give me a persuasion roll. oh With advantage. with I was to say with advantage.
01:24:53
Speaker
I said true son and everything. Untouched. It's good. The second one was a one. revenge and Six.
01:25:05
Speaker
gone
01:25:12
Speaker
Jar is going to look at you and say, what kind of dragon are you?
01:25:21
Speaker
The real kind. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. which There's so many. ah and I haven't found out yet, Dad. I haven't shown my scales.
01:25:33
Speaker
I have an affinity for the mud. You've known this. Could be green. That's troubling, but we can learn to live with that. Alright, well, a true dragon should be able to resist my breath attack, so, uh... Buckle up, kiddo.
01:25:49
Speaker
And know you you watch as steam starts to form in his mouth, and you you clench, like fully expecting a blast of flame to the face, but instead this cloud washes over you, and I need you to make a constitution saving throw.
01:26:06
Speaker
No good at that. Just torches him. don't know. That's good to be on the show. That's hilarious. 16. Oh.
01:26:19
Speaker
It was so close. Oh, no. You... What? Your lungs fill with smoke, and you start to feel very sleepy, and you just collapse to the ground, unconscious.
01:26:31
Speaker
oh No. And the rest of you hear Jararth say, hmm, so definitely not brass. Hmm. Brass Dragon would have been able to resist that. I guess he is adopted, so that makes sense. But to anyway, how you folks doing over there? You had enough yet? Ready to admit the world's round?
01:26:50
Speaker
Never! i go yeah drown so and It's round, it's round. That's more like it, but I think a little bit more of this and then we should be able to call it cold good.
01:27:01
Speaker
And that'll be his, we'll say his action, his lair action is him putting you to sleep. The three of you, you do look over and you see Peter is now... and And Glimke, you're pretty sure this is what brought you to the Reformation room in the first place. It's starting to make sense.
01:27:17
Speaker
Speaking of Glimke, though, it is Glimke's turn. You have the advantage also. On attack, too? Yes. Oh, snap. let's Let's do the maneuver again.
01:27:30
Speaker
Circle around the back of the statue to place the orb behind it. And I will roll with advantage. Go for it. Come on. Oh, both were high. i got an 18 and a 19, 23.
01:27:44
Speaker
Are smiting? Are you serious? think I think I rolled a one on the damage dice for three. Oh my god, I've got one spell slot left. I don't think we're fighting the dragon, so I'll use it.
01:28:00
Speaker
And yeah, let's see how this goes.
01:28:04
Speaker
Oh, okay. So, yeah, three damage plus 11 radiant damage. Okay. 14 plus. That's pretty good. I will use my bonus action to shove the creature.
01:28:18
Speaker
Okay. so thatle It rolls a natural 20. No way. Me too. and I got it nine a It gets 26.
01:28:29
Speaker
And are you moving? Yeah, I guess I'll just circle around them again. Back to clay. Perfect. You're doing like the thing in Star Wars Episode 5 where they trip up the the walkers. You just run around.
01:28:43
Speaker
You figure forgot to bring the rope, though. That's the main problem. ah That would have been a smart. Fondaline, you are no longer slow. You're no longer burning. You're not blind. You're not prone.
01:28:56
Speaker
What are you doing? I pull out my lantern. Just kidding. Just kidding. Okay. Glimki is in range of the bad guy now, which means that I can do advantagey thingies.
01:29:08
Speaker
And I actually, guys, I actually had a ah short bow in my inventory the whole time. Oh, nice. I was like, I know. i i don't know happened there. I need to get one those.
01:29:22
Speaker
um borrow mine. I don't use it. Okay. So first things first. I am going to run up all brave style or whatever. And I'm going to actually my short bow does almost as much damage. I'm still going to run up for the drama.
01:29:37
Speaker
And I am going to hack at the statue you with sneak attack. Oh lordy. That's a 21 to hit. That's a hit. Nice. Come on. Sneak attack. Let's go.
01:29:50
Speaker
Okay. That's going to be Come on. I get 2d6 for my sneak attack, I believe. Yeah. That's going to be 16 damage. Let's go. Look who decided to enter the fight.
01:30:06
Speaker
can help. And then I am going to use my bonus action too because Peter is sleeping. I'm sorry. I am going to Glimki who is next to me. And I'm going to say, hey you did something. That's good. Next time, go for the eyes.
01:30:22
Speaker
This is supposed to be helpful to me. was helpful! Go for the eyes! my god.
01:30:31
Speaker
Go for the solar plexus. Is this his encouragement? Negative reinforcements I don't think works that well for you. I said, okay, you did something. How is that negative?
01:30:42
Speaker
I literally acknowledge that you did something. Tone? Delivery? yeah The statue what do we put up butty but betterly pa but turns to look at you and says, now, actually, my eyes are purely ornamental. I don't actually need to see out them.
01:31:01
Speaker
At least I'm pretty sure. I've never been without them, so hard to say. Anyway, on with the fight. And, uh, Funnel, on anything else you wish to do? You've action, bonus action, you've moved. That doesn't sound like there's anything left.
01:31:13
Speaker
Yeah, doesn't sound like it You, you stab this thing and we'll say just like, you find a fissure and you stab into it and just like a huge chunk of rock comes tumbling off of its right leg, landing next to you.
01:31:23
Speaker
It, it, for all the damage it is meeting out, it's starting to look... pretty beat up. The stone is blackened and charred from the repeated exposure to the flaming sphere. There are numerous ah cuts where vines are growing out and like, you know, like weeds grow out of concrete, just forcing the rock apart.
01:31:41
Speaker
Now you've stabbed into one of these weak spots and severely damaged it. It is looking rough, but it still gets to go. And it is going to turn to look at you, Fondlin, say, now you've been saying a lot. I'm sorry.
01:31:57
Speaker
I turn to look at you finally and say, now, normally I'm the one who does the lecturing here. And it's crazy that I'm saying this because this is a prerecorded message. So if you could just stop yelling so much and let me do my job, that would be much appreciated.
01:32:10
Speaker
And it's going to attack you twice. Twice? Twice. Oh, she's... I'm sorry. God forbid a woman speak. God would forbid a woman speak in the man room. Wait, is she close? Is she close to me?
01:32:24
Speaker
I'll allow it. Uh, yeah. So it reduces a natural 20 to a 24. You're welcome. Thank you so much. And I rolled two more 16s on the second attack, so that's another 24.
01:32:39
Speaker
So it'll hit you twice, Faun-Lawin. You could permakill me, so just be advised if you do 33 damage, you will permakill me. Huh, that's good to know. So I do 14 on the first attack.
01:32:52
Speaker
it And a 15 on the second attack. Oh my gosh. Okay, ah so Falun's unconscious.
01:33:03
Speaker
Fondolin, you get punched up into the air with this massive uppercut. And as you're flying up, your eyes start to dim and you see a second fist flying out of the air, punches you back down.
01:33:14
Speaker
Fortunately for you, you land on the cot that Glimki was previously seen on and a blanket whips up into the air and just slowly drifts onto you. And at first everyone's like, oh, that's nice. She's taking a nap. And then it looks more like a morgue, you know, she just that covers you and there's just a wig poking out. Fondolin is not looking great because she's dying.
01:33:31
Speaker
Anyway. looks good. I forgot to reroll it slow. Ah, it recharges it slow. Probably if I'd remembered to do that, it would have done that instead. But instead, it nearly permakills you with a multi-attack.
01:33:44
Speaker
Awesome. Clay's still standing. What you gonna do? you say Faunulin was knocked back onto the cot?
01:33:55
Speaker
Yeah. and kind Unconscious, yeah. Yeah. Oh, why do you knock her away? i don't know. Because as I said, I'm like, cool narrative description. And then in the back of my mind, I'm like, ah, tough for tough for a young gunner who might want to heal later on.
01:34:09
Speaker
yeah i will I will tell you this. If you wish to healing word, I will still let you move your sphere this turn because I got creative with the rules. So I will give my creativity back to you. Wow. Wow.
01:34:21
Speaker
So generous. Thank you. i know. nice Okay. I have to take advantage since you're offering. Healing word to Faunalyn then. Thank you so much. You are so kind of benevolent. Oh, thank you. Thank you.
01:34:34
Speaker
There's yet another 5. Much obliged. 5H feedback. I'm thriving. Oh, I'm thriving. And just keep doing the same thing. Bonus. i Oh, wait. It didn't roll for the sphere, did it?
01:34:46
Speaker
At the end of its turn. Oh, it did not. yeah Would you believe that is a six on the die? i would believe it. And it's going to take eight damage.
01:34:58
Speaker
Eight damage? The end of its turn and then roll again for my turn. I'm going to move this. Okay.
01:35:06
Speaker
Wow. I rolled a 10 on the die. So it fails again. Wow. Okay. This guy's next. Nine damage. Holy smokes.
01:35:17
Speaker
I will say this sphere bowls into it and just takes its legs out. They crack and they crumble and it falls down, just like collapsing everything from the waist down.
01:35:27
Speaker
it is a it is It is a torso with arms. It is just kind of thrashing about angrily. And it's a... Now, I don't know much about anatomy given that I'm a statue, but I think I need legs.
01:35:41
Speaker
So give those back to me. Si tu play. That's right. I speak dwarven. And that is Clay's turn. Yeah.
01:35:52
Speaker
Peter, you are asleep on the sand. And the three of you look as Jararth spreads his wings and takes two deliberate steps towards Peter's sleeping body.
01:36:03
Speaker
He raises up a massive claw. And he brings it down and then just kind of taps him on the shoulder. up Tap, tap, tap. Tap, tap, tap. Using his action to wake you.
01:36:15
Speaker
And he says, all right. So, Peter,
01:36:20
Speaker
I think I understand what's going on here. I don't think you're a dragon, son. But you saw that your old man was a dragon. And you wanted to be a dragon, too. You wanted to be more like me.
01:36:32
Speaker
And I understand that. Because, ah I mean, look at me. I'm pretty splendid, all things considered. Splendid. Now, that doesn't mean we can't still hang out. That doesn't mean things have to change. I mean, you're getting older. Your body's changing.
01:36:47
Speaker
I don't really know how humans puberty. Is that what you call it? I don't really know how and when that happens. So maybe, maybe you'll become a dragon at some point. I don't think you will.
01:36:57
Speaker
I don't really think that's how it works. I've kind of dedicated my life for at least the last century or so to ah proving that the world's round. Maybe the next century could be about human development or something like that.
01:37:10
Speaker
Anyway, where were we? I'm going to say so try and like reach a hand out to Jar. like that the sort of He's like the top of his nose, like you'd pet a horse if I can, if he's close enough.
01:37:22
Speaker
least make Try and gesture him down. and say You know, Dad, you might be right. I just want to soar in the skies and see the world like you've seen it. Could you take me?
01:37:34
Speaker
Could you take me up there into the sky? Give me one more persuasion check. Oh, no. And we'll say with advantage. Once again, advantage. he touching Despite everything that's happened today, he does still want to connect with his boy.
01:37:47
Speaker
oh Okay, okay. 17. 17.
01:37:54
Speaker
You see his eyes, like this this time you are able to read the look that passes over his face, and it's like a look of confusion. He almost seems tentative or scared even, which is ridiculous given the size of him and the sheer power he obviously possesses.
01:38:09
Speaker
But he looks down at you and says, Are you saying you're not scared of me? Scared? You're a freaking dragon! My dad's a dragon!
01:38:20
Speaker
and I've always wanted some kind of cool story. you know You've seen me, i I'm an outcast, i I play in the sand and the mud and make my little shapes and here you are, you can change your shape entirely.
01:38:35
Speaker
Well if I could learn just a fraction of that, hey, even if I could tell my friends, you know, my dad's a dragon. Well that's pretty cool. you see big bucket-sized raindrop tears form in the corners of each of his eyes land down in the sand nearly washing you away in the process forming a thick mud around you and he says that's all i've ever wanted i i grew up not too long after the dracoschism and
01:39:07
Speaker
There was a lot of and much of it warranted, I'm sure, about dragons. Even us
Post-Battle Reflections and Plans
01:39:15
Speaker
metallic ones, the so-called benevolent ones. So i I hid myself. For a very long time, I hid who I was.
01:39:23
Speaker
i was scared to show anybody, let alone you, oh exactly who I was. The real me. Peter, if you mean it, i would I would show you every inch of this round world.
01:39:38
Speaker
Well, if you truly mean it, and if you could show me, then I'd be dying to see it, Dad. He looks at you and then looks past you at the three companions, Fondlin bleeding out on a cot.
01:39:58
Speaker
ah Clay and Glimke massive, like you just in this in this frantic fight, barely alive, beating on this statue. And you see smoke begins to billow in his mouth and come out of his nostrils.
01:40:11
Speaker
And he says, duck. Peter ducks. Peter ducks. Clay, do you duck? Yeah, ducking. Glimke, do you duck? I duck.
01:40:24
Speaker
wall of fire washes over the three of you. It is hot, hotter than anything you've ever experienced. It is bright, blindingly bright. Your senses are overwhelmed by the smell of it. You didn't know sand could burn, but the sand is burning around you.
01:40:39
Speaker
And when you open your eyes, the statue of Jar Arith is reduced to a pile of charcoal on the ground, reduced to ash. And he looks over at Clay and Glimki and says, well, sorry about that, folks.
01:40:54
Speaker
Starting to think maybe I got a little bit carried away, but good job. You ah you graduated from the Reformation Room or whatever. Is that one dead? We can bury her with Jordan, I guess.
01:41:09
Speaker
I'm actually so annoyed that you destroyed the statue because he had just essentially called me mouthy and I was going to give him quite a well-formulated lecture on why that's rude and sexist.
01:41:20
Speaker
And Glimki, grab that umbrella. You are peeling and it's gross. ah for
01:41:28
Speaker
Is that it? this Is this we're getting off the hook? Because that guy is his son, quote unquote. They're going to fly off into the sunset.
01:41:40
Speaker
Into the sunsplosion. Yeah. No, sunset, sunset, sunset. You're right. Here, you're right. Here, you're right, sunset. Sorry, Mr. Dragon Man.
01:41:55
Speaker
Ja'areth, sir? That's correct. Yes, Ja'areth. One word with an apostrophe in the middle. That's how I said it and spelled it mentally. Thank you. Just to clarify, you're not going to kill us or punish us any further?
01:42:08
Speaker
I mean, I'm a little cheesed off about Jordan, to be sure. He was a good defense system in training. i figure a few more years, he might learn to try and murder more than just me.
01:42:22
Speaker
But beyond that, I mean, statue, I can carve another statue. I mean, look at us. We're surrounded by rock. It shouldn't be hard. Take me a few years, maybe months, maybe enchantments.
01:42:34
Speaker
Oh, sure, but whatever. ah got a very talented wizard at my side. Yes, Mr. Treefellow. Uh, just out of curiosity, you don't have, like, no one else knows you're a dragon, right?
01:42:46
Speaker
That would be correct. Just, uh, you and you and you and Peter, of course. Right. So, you wouldn't want us to go sprouting all that information to the rest of the camp, I assume.
01:43:02
Speaker
Well, I'm of two minds, frankly. ah Between Ms. Campbell's portrait of me and Peter's recent kind words from but a mere minute ago, I'm wondering if maybe I should take more pride in who I am and let the world see me for the dragon that I am.
01:43:23
Speaker
But if you think that's ill-advised, I suppose I could go back to, and his body begins to contract. And once again, the shadows would stretch. Oh, they stretched so dramatically. When he became a dragon, they begin to compress and contract. And you see before you a elven man with poorly dyed blonde hair and a spray tan that doesn't really reach past his elbows.
01:43:44
Speaker
And a fully naked Jararth stands before you. I mean, if this is better, I suppose I could... No, change back, change back. back, get back.
01:43:59
Speaker
The shadows, oh, they're elongating again. It's like a yo-yo in here, and he he stretches out back into his draconic form. Yeah, I think this form is majestic. Yeah, i think it's I just don't want to speak out of turn. If you're ready to reveal that, I think that's a really good workout.
01:44:15
Speaker
Yeah, all the best. And we're just gonna get out of here and get out of your hair. We're just gonna go on the boat. We'll just go. We'll just leave. And Peter, you want to stay? I think I'll be fine here.
01:44:27
Speaker
I appreciate you opening some windows and doors, but I guess, so well, I'm fine. Just where I am. And I look up ah look up at my dad.
01:44:38
Speaker
He looks down at you in this big knives, ah knife sized teeth, I will reiterate, but it's it's somehow warm as he smiles down at you. Jarrah Arith turns to look at the three of you and says, now, perhaps it's none of my business after everything we've been through together. And my, water what a what a rigmarole the last 24 hours have been. huh Anyway.
01:45:00
Speaker
Bona, I ask, where is it you intend to go? Because, ah I mean, Peter and I are about to take off on a grand tour of the world. And if if you, ah we could give you a lift to your next destination if you'd like.
01:45:14
Speaker
Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Wait, where are we going next? Whoa. Hold on a second. We're going to the shipping island. The island where they do all the shipping from. Glumki's like side-eyeing both of his compatriots like in shock. Like, this guy just tortured me for the last 18 hours.
01:45:33
Speaker
And now he feels really bad about it and he's going to give us a lift. going to get us out of here. he's going get us out of here so he won't be tortured anymore. Okay. You don't want to go? Yeah, no, yeah, no, that's great.
01:45:46
Speaker
That's so good. seems super trustworthy. I'm going to slap a hat on Glumki's head say, Okay, and keep this on because you're turning red. You're going to wrinkle. Okay. If you guys want to, right? You you all take some time.
01:46:05
Speaker
I now believe Ms. Campbell, bargain was struck and I do intend to honor it. So I'll spend the next little bit maybe helping out your friends on the boat. And i imagine in my current shape, I should be able to...
01:46:18
Speaker
bring the supplies over no problem and get them on the road or the ocean as it were and not too long and yeah if you don't mind waiting around a couple days i'll finish up my business here and well i'll have to figure what to do about the learning center because peter i don't know we might be gone for a few months maybe a year maybe more depends on how much we'll see it's a big world so uh yeah i'll have to talk to some of the upper level members, see if they wish to stay or go back to their lives out there in Airdenine.
01:46:50
Speaker
Not Airdenine. Zav, that's the one. Well, some of them might be from Airdenine. I don't know everybody's personal story. Some of them are probably from Airdenine, no doubt. And I'll say, like, as he is telling you all this, or, like, saying this all to you, like, he kind of, like, walks to the center of the room, stepping on the ruined remains of his statue, and says, ah ah climb aboard.
Farewells and New Adventure
01:47:11
Speaker
We'll, uh, we'll talk on the way.
01:47:13
Speaker
I'm so sorry you were tortured by him but we're about to ride a dragon and that's like the coolest thing ever so shove it down until we land. Brightskill's not going to believe this.
01:47:25
Speaker
Okay, you know what? One work one more question. Do you think there's any books left in that burned pile of bookshelf? Do you think any survived? He looks over and says, I don't really know why I did that. I mean, yeah, I've got spare copies, but like, just a waste.
01:47:44
Speaker
i I was dick swinging. I'm sorry. i was I was in a mood. I do it too. No, I get it. You get it. Get it. I get it. I'd win. We just saw you naked.
01:47:57
Speaker
Treefellow, I am. I am sorry. um maybe jumped some conclusions out there. What if you want? Were you? I mean, what were you doing in the desert? Were you trying to disprove my theories? My theory? My theories?
01:48:08
Speaker
I mean, I sound like a non-believer. A well-earned hard-fashioned belief that the world is round. Were you not trying disprove that the other night? last night? Man, what a day it has been.
01:48:22
Speaker
No, actually. I mean, as much as maybe that wouldn't be surprising, I was actually out there responding to a call for help, or so I thought.
01:48:33
Speaker
yeah. Well, hopefully I didn't interrupt you from saving someone's life. Was it one of the people in the compound? No. ah You know what?
01:48:45
Speaker
Maybe I was just sleepwalking. It's hard to tell. All right. Well, fair enough. But it would be nice like if you have a copy of the book before you drop us off. i I'd like to take one with me, you know, to keep brushed up on this whole spherical planet thing.
01:49:03
Speaker
I'll give you the whole box set. Thank you.
01:49:09
Speaker
And the four of you climb aboard. His scales are hot to the touch. And as you as you do so, he says, all right, now hold on tight. It's about 300 feet straight up. So gravity is not going on your side for the first little bit. And his wings...
01:49:26
Speaker
start to flap, sand kicks up around you, thrumming up in these huge clouds, and he springs up. The tunnel, this this this room is just wide enough so that he can stretch his wings and fly in the space.
01:49:42
Speaker
Clearly a part of the design. And the sky rapidly approaches as you burst through the top of this massive mesa. And you see the desert of Cobarrus spread out around you.
01:49:55
Speaker
And Peter, you did not know this this structure existed, but it is... Several hundred feet wide and several hundred feet tall is this massive natural stone structure that evidently Jar-arit's lair was carved into.
01:50:08
Speaker
he swoops down and around in a big corkscrew. passing the statue of him holding Zav as a globe. You see the illusion of the the winged lion man walking through the desert.
01:50:22
Speaker
It ah roars as you pass over by. Jaroth says, that was my creation. Pretty good, right? Keep people away from the lair. I got a lot to teach you, Peter, about being a dragon. Even if you aren't a dragon, I think you should act like a dragon.
01:50:37
Speaker
Good way to live. And he soars through and around these dunes, riding these desert currents before the the basin of the Jararth Learning Center appears on the horizon. He swoops over the the hot springs and you see several of the the residents dive for cover into the water and he he lands in the center of it all in front of the main dome.
01:51:07
Speaker
And crowd doesn't quite gather, but you see people like peering out from behind domes and open doorways. There's a general murmur of panic.
01:51:18
Speaker
And as you slide off his wings, emergency exit from a plane style, he says, now, everybody, everybody, I know what you're thinking. Oh, no, a dragon.
01:51:29
Speaker
Scary. Bad. But it's just me, Jarroth. See? And he, once again, transforms back into a naked elf. And everyone's like, change back, change back.
01:51:40
Speaker
No, ew, go. Very nudity, anti-nudity group here. Nudity not a part of the Jarrah Learning Center. And he once again, turns back into a dragon. And people cautiously start to gather round.
01:51:53
Speaker
And he says, now, this might come as a shock for some of you. But I am in fact a dragon and Peter here wishes to explore his cultural roots, I guess something along those lines.
01:52:07
Speaker
So we're going to go on a big tour of the world. This round world that I have seen with my eyes because I'm a dragon. Now, ah where was I? Oh, yes. I guess it's kind of up to you if you want to go home, stay here.
01:52:20
Speaker
Kind of dealer's choice. I'm going to repair that ship. I think it's head off to Sauposen so you can head back if you want. But Yeah, kind of not quite end of the road for all y'all, but I won't be around teaching you for a little bit.
01:52:36
Speaker
Maybe a long while. There's a long silence. And then Slade Chronic steps forward, white hat on. He says, now I don't want to speak for all these folks, but...
01:52:51
Speaker
Ja, dragon or not, I was a broken man before I found my way to your, to your island. Didn't know how to have positive relationships with women. A lot of mixed up ideas.
01:53:04
Speaker
If it's all the same to you, I'd like to stay. Mostly because of that first thing I said, but to also because I gave you all my money and don't really know how to exist in society anymore.
01:53:17
Speaker
And Jari nods his head says, that sounds all right to me, Slade. And then Hamish, the failed magician, steps forward and says, hi I don't remember if I was Scottish before, but I'm not Scottish now. Clearly, you can hear it in my voice.
01:53:34
Speaker
Jar, before I made it to the island, I wasn't doing well. I wanted to be a magician and didn't know magic. What's happening? And it's all the same to you, I think I'd like to stay.
01:53:48
Speaker
And Jar says, that's very good. You can stay, of course, Hamish. And Ruckus Perez steps forward and says, I'm raucus perez We haven't really had a chance to talk. My mom wants me to be less of an asshole. So if it's all the same to you, I'd like to say, everybody can stay if they want to stay. Everybody is welcome to stay. What about Tucker?
01:54:08
Speaker
Tucker, do you wish to stay? And all eyes turn to this scrawnier half-orc brother, Tucker Perez. He says, well, yes, I'll think I'd like to stay. Okay.
01:54:21
Speaker
Hell of nice end. Yeah, Tucker hasn't had a chance to speak in four episodes. Yeah, I think Luke is like straight up losing his mind.
01:54:32
Speaker
ah With the rest of his party quietly is like, are you serious?
01:54:38
Speaker
A day ago, this is a cult, right? Like we all knew that. And like they're all like super hanging out and having a good time now. What's the deal? I guess it's not eavesdrop, but I'll go rather large. There's just like this long neck is like bent down, to like reaching over into the conversation.
01:54:58
Speaker
I think it's sort of like a found family type situation. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're right. hot springs, the disc golf, the eggs. If it wasn't for the indoctrination, it's kind of a nice place.
01:55:11
Speaker
Clay Campbell, would you like to stay? You're welcome to stay too. ah Uh, no, no. Okay, sorry. i Okay. It's fine. It's fine.
01:55:22
Speaker
No one else got put in a chamber. did it many times during his upbringing. About two-thirds of the crowd raises their And we're just supposed to just let this guy go with him?
01:55:33
Speaker
Oh, I was put in a chamber! I was put in a chamber! I was put in a chamber! lasted about two weeks, yeah. wasn't good. wasn't good. Gave me a weird mole that I haven't had and check to get checked out yet. But, uh... Oh, shit.
01:55:45
Speaker
gonna think um Peter sort of pipes up and just like, Dad, maybe we stop with the rehabilitation chamber stuff and make people come to their own conclusions.
01:55:58
Speaker
You know what, son? I think you might be right. And he high fives you and he freeze frames and then the freeze frame ends and you get sent back like 20 feet just tumbling through the sand.
01:56:09
Speaker
He's very strong. I will say, over the next couple of days, the compound comes alive in a different way. Jar drags these massive trees that he apparently had somewhere in his compound hidden away, just these massive planks of wood.
01:56:26
Speaker
He clutches them in his claws and flies them to the the the dock, and work begins on the ship in earnest. Most folks do plan on staying. A few, including Amala, sort of linger, and they're like, um, Honolene, Lady Veytok, I wasn't planning on going to Sarposin, but I suppose the two of us, we could go and see the sights.
01:56:49
Speaker
It's a very beautiful city. If you haven't been, it's very beautiful. and And we should be able to get a ship back to Airdeneen from there. No problem. Do you know, actually, I heard, um, I actually,
01:57:01
Speaker
i Can't think of an excuse. That sounds great, Amala. Let's go to Sarpotson together.
01:57:09
Speaker
Okay. Wonderful. Wonderful. It'll be a nice reprieve being on on the ship again. And we can enjoy the amenities like the shuffleboard and the bar. Ah, the bar. Love them both.
01:57:21
Speaker
Yes, equally. And that'll be great. Okay, wonderful. Wonderful. I will see you soon. See you soon. She wanders off. ah Glimke, I'm wondering, in the ensuing couple of days, do you tell anybody about what you saw, about what led you out into the desert in the first place?
01:57:43
Speaker
Or do you, like, try and pursue that in any way? Hmm. Glavky probably would go out another night just to see if he gets any evidence of this spirit kind of presenting itself again.
01:57:58
Speaker
But if not, I feel like he'll just maybe just send up a prayer and hope that whatever it was is is okay. But nothing more than that, unless something were to happen.
01:58:12
Speaker
When you wander out into the desert... Maybe not far, but like, you know, the edge of edge of the compound. Could I get a nature check from you? Three.
01:58:28
Speaker
With a three. You look out upon the sweeping sands of Khabarus looking for a sign, looking for another call for help.
01:58:45
Speaker
and you don't really know what it was. Maybe it was a dream. Maybe it was a trick. Whatever it is, it seemed weak.
01:59:00
Speaker
It seemed helpless.
01:59:03
Speaker
And you think if it was even real to begin with, it maybe lacks the strength to cry out to you once again.
01:59:16
Speaker
And you return to the basin.
01:59:20
Speaker
Oh my god, you kind of let it down. Damn. Yeah, damn indeed. Is there, I guess at the compound, what is the most nature-esque location? The hot springs?
01:59:34
Speaker
Yeah, unless you consider like artificial turf to be nature. In which case I'd say the disc golf course. Right. Fuck's Fuck's sake. I wouldn't.
01:59:46
Speaker
Oh, well, not keep that with hot springs. Yeah, Klimke would spend some more time walking over to the hot springs, and he's going to take out one of the books that he has in his bag now.
02:00:03
Speaker
yeah The entire Jararth's round world. No, not that one i quite yet. I had to take that out of my bag to then get this other book and I'll put this one in. He pulls out the book called The Floral Compendium.
02:00:16
Speaker
It's like a ah book of all flora in the realm. I know. it's And he's going to flip through all the pages looking for that petal or that leaf or any kind of flower that even looks remotely close to it.
02:00:32
Speaker
Interesting. Give me an investigation check. 18. Better this time. You flip through the floral compendium and you begin to look for, we'll say you go to your dome at one point and you pick up some of those petals that are still there on the floor and you begin to just flip through the book looking for for a match.
02:00:55
Speaker
And after a while, you find a type of flower called plumeria. And it is this pink flower. it's very looks very tropical in nature.
02:01:08
Speaker
And according to the Floral Compendium, this type of flower is most commonly found in warm tropical climates and is especially in abundance on the island of Mencken.
02:01:28
Speaker
The Isle of Mencken. Which you would know is island in the Anchor's Chain. In fact, the closest island to Khabarra. think that's the art one.
02:01:39
Speaker
Which Clay would know has a long history of being a haven for artists from throughout Zavre. so glumkey's gonna obviously like invigorated after finding this he's gonna take some of those petals he's gonna write out some of this information in his journal and kind of press some of those petals as well in his book um and just kind of make a mental note to maybe push the party in that direction if possible okay faunelin what do you do with that dragon scale
02:02:16
Speaker
Not a damn thing just yet. i'm holding I was holding on to it. I'm planning to give it to Clay, but I don't want to pull it out in the compound. Okay. At all. Sounds good. It is tucked in my wig. Very subtle. There's so much shit in that wig. Just a real nest. A wig of holding. Sometimes I move and like a coin falls out. It's just like.
02:02:35
Speaker
In that case, Clay, you could have, I'd say during these two days, maybe spend a little less time with Jar-Arith because the the amulet you're wearing is just like, it's heavy.
02:02:48
Speaker
And whenever he's around, it's just like, it's pulling towards him and it's kind of annoying. So like whenever he's around, it's not like you're like, you leave, but it's just like, if you can minimize your exposure, things probably feel better for you in those two days.
02:03:02
Speaker
Does it feel bad? It's not bad, but it's just like, imagine you're like, you know, you were wearing a necklace and every time a guy walked into a room, the necklace started like trying to drag you towards that guy. ok it would just be annoying.
02:03:13
Speaker
Right. It's like, it's not painful. It's not particularly unpleasant. It's just an inconvenience. Okay. I do have something I wanted to do during the two days. Please. I think I would join Glimki at the hot springs if he's like reading his book and I'll go over and I'll hand him my dragon encyclopedia as well.
02:03:33
Speaker
and go, hey, i the Bright Scale gave me this book and I've flipped through it a couple of times, but you know I'm um not much of a reader. So I was hoping like maybe you could get something more out of it um and maybe give me a Sparks Note version.
02:03:50
Speaker
Sure. Clay, that's really nice. Yeah. It's got cool pictures, but a lot of text also. Yeah. Well, I think this will come in handy. I mean, I'm surprised in our short time we've seen and two dragons so far. yeah My family is never going to believe this.
02:04:09
Speaker
No, I don't think the bright scale would believe how frequently we've run into dragons on our adventure so far. No kidding. But maybe they're just all out there in hiding. If they're anything like Jarroth, I guess they could be anywhere.
02:04:24
Speaker
Yeah. Maybe you're a dragon. Oh, never thought of that. Maybe we're all dragons. Could be.
02:04:33
Speaker
I think Klai will also, like, I guess, sit next to Glimki while he's reading at the hot springs and, like, pick up some of the mud and clay around there, like Peter was doing when we first met him, and start, like,
02:04:48
Speaker
I don't know, sculpting little figurines of dragons and stuff. Nice. I love that. You spend time together watching life carry out in the compound.
02:05:01
Speaker
People from all over Zav who, through one way or another, found their way here. And maybe despite your reservations, the glaring warning signs and red flags that decorate the halls of the Jar Earth Learning Center, you think that despite it all, maybe some good is happening here.
02:05:27
Speaker
Glimke, you flip through this dragon book that Clay gives to you, and you see that the first half is full of entries of dragons of all color and disposition from throughout Zav, from hungry wyrmlings owned by cultists to ancient white dragons living in the mountaintops of the Atum Mountains.
02:05:52
Speaker
But as you get towards the back half of the book, you see there are many, many blank pages and room to add your own entries well to increase this Tome of Knowledge.
02:06:08
Speaker
And as you flip through, you also note that there is no mention of a young blue dragon named Krigamon, nor is there mention of an adult brass dragon named Jar-Arith.
02:06:21
Speaker
Wow. Wow. And I will say, after a couple days, Peter Jar-Areth comes to you and tells you that the ship is repaired...
02:06:35
Speaker
And you're ready to depart. Basically, he says that he'll be ready to depart that afternoon. Just needs, you know, just needs to hear the word from you and needs to know where your newfound friends wish to go.
02:06:51
Speaker
And I'd say perhaps the four of you gather for breakfast. Clay, Glimke, Fondlin, and Peter gather for breakfast, one last meal in the dining dome, and you are served pancakes.
02:07:06
Speaker
Oh. Oh, touching. we really fixed this place. Single stacked, I hope. So it doesn't represent any other shape.
02:07:17
Speaker
I think the world might be a big cylinder. You see? Yeah. Oh, God. Oh, God. God.
02:07:28
Speaker
ah But yeah, the four of you are seated together. Through mouthfuls of pancakes, Klimki wants to ask the new guy, so are you really a dragon? Is Jara our neighbor?
02:07:42
Speaker
He's in dragon form. he is currently flipping pancakes into the air and s scorching them with fire breath and then catching them and serving them out to people. ah In between like excited flip and snort flame, I try, I just sort of lean in and I'm just a human, but maybe one day and hey, it saved us, didn't it?
02:08:03
Speaker
So it's, it's, it's okay. I think he's, he's a pretty cool dad. So, but no, I'm just a human. So, I mean, i don't want presume anything, but what happens when he finds out?
02:08:18
Speaker
oh I think we can work on it. We've got, he said, mumps around the world, so hopefully can learn a few tricks and maybe i am, you know, I have the touch of the arcane. Maybe I can pick up a few tricks of his and maybe that'll keep him satiated.
02:08:33
Speaker
He seems to have turned over a new leaf. hes He doesn't mind... the people so much anymore. He doesn't think for himself. Hopefully, hopefully we can start something new. I was going to say he's being surprisingly cool about this whole thing.
02:08:48
Speaker
But I mean, honestly, Peter, you've been very cool also. I know we were like, goading you by saying you might be a snitch and things like that. But no, you were really, really great and cool. Thank you very much for, ah you know, putting your life on the line alongside us and everything like that. Really, we, Glimki, actually, we would not have gotten anywhere close to getting you out of there if it wasn't for Peter.
02:09:09
Speaker
I don't play the piano. oh all right. Don't understand the piano thing, but yeah. Thanks, Peter. I mean, thanks times two.
02:09:21
Speaker
You got us, got them in and you got us all out. Well, thank you. Oh my God. Kind of the MVP actually. most valuable Peter, if you, if you don't mind me saying.
02:09:34
Speaker
the only I like this guy. I'll take it. Right? Peter, I actually, i don't think you'll be able to do anything with these yet, but... You're very resourceful.
02:09:44
Speaker
So, and you know, you know some kind of unexpected tricks. So I i think you'll figure it out. And Fonelin passes over. Fonelin in some episodes has displayed an ability to encode thoughts into these kind of blue swirling strands.
02:09:58
Speaker
yeah um And they are memories of hers. Fonelin has braided together a little woven strand of some memories. And she's kind of tied them in such a way to be a little kind of almost friendship bracelet, if you would want to wear it in that way um and she passes it over and um because i don't think we'll ever get the chance to know what they are i won't say what they all are but well i'll do it in character ahem uh these are just some of the some memories i have of performances that i've seen where where i'm from in ulethothayat i'm from the soaring barony and
02:10:33
Speaker
It's a place of artisans. So in the tall trees, you'll hear music or you'll see performers and everyone will gather around the trees or in the branches and watch. And some of my warmest memories are of those sort of performances.
02:10:47
Speaker
And, you know, I've been around the world. I've seen very many interesting things, many interesting plays, magic shows, performances, et cetera, et cetera. Very cultured. So anyway, essentially, I've just kind of put together some of those memories because i know you're off to see the world, but...
02:11:00
Speaker
I hope that you will find, once you've seen it, that there will be many places for you in it. And I slide it over. Kind of slightly body language, kind of slightly awkward. Sponeman is not actually that used to being nice.
02:11:14
Speaker
And Glimki's also shocked. yeah What the hell? Where's my friendship bracelet? What the hell? Glimki, scooch two inches to the left. You are in the sun.
02:11:27
Speaker
Get in the shade for the last time. Okay. Well, this is a mighty kind gesture. I'll have it on me at all times to remember me.
02:11:40
Speaker
ah remember... myself of you people hey i think you've came and within such a short space of time you've changed everything and maybe wherever you're headed you'll change something there too hopefully for the best again stories out a little bit on you that the the introduction was a little bit hazy but i feel like you've got good intentions yeah thank you for this this is lovely It kind of goes with your outfit. Like i kind of chose like a pattern that I thought would sort of suit the robes. I know you won't be wearing those forever, but you know, it'll look cool for now.
02:12:12
Speaker
don't know. I really do appreciate it. I'll wrap it around. no Makes it like a little cravat sort thing around the neck. Oh, cute. Perfect. And I've got, well, during the fight and everything, and I was trying to come up with snappy little and limericks and phrases.
02:12:29
Speaker
I kind of, you know, I think I fell asleep there for a second. Well, I started thinking of them for you guys. If you wouldn't mind me just saying one for each of you. Oh please! Oh please!
02:12:40
Speaker
It looks over at you Clay. Well, I've met a tiefling called Clay Campbell. If they hit a tree once it would surely fell. They're black and they're red, with horns on their head, and I hope to get to know them very well. Oh, that's so sweet! It looks over to you Faunlin.
02:12:56
Speaker
Lady Faunlin's tongue will cut you with a hiss. Her quips and remarks never do miss. She acts really smart, and she dresses the part, and being in her presence sure is bliss. Oh, that was good.
02:13:07
Speaker
I like that one. Yay. Bravo. he looks over at you, Glimke. I haven't known you for too long, but I, I, I got the good feeling about you. So this Glimke guy is wonderfully mellow.
02:13:20
Speaker
He'll even greet the plants with a hello. He's definitely my sort. We're both kind of short and I know he's the nicest tree fellow. Wow. He breaks down crying. yeah Clay's going to give Peter a big hug.
02:13:35
Speaker
Yeah. I appreciate it. Thank you guys. And i look up ah Big Dad and say, I know you've been eavesdropping because of your big ears there, Dad.
02:13:46
Speaker
So I once thought you were bad. Now i think you're kind of rad. a dragon of brass who kicks all the ass. And now I'd love to call you Dad. Oh. wow Oh my god. He's got a gift.
02:14:01
Speaker
That is beautiful. Now, did you grab one for everybody in the compound? ah i like to think he looks around, everyone's staring at him like, I'll walk on it there, Dad. A souvenir. him back, souvenirs. Yes, yes, she'll be gone and I'll come back with, yeah, limericks for for limericks for all.
02:14:23
Speaker
His tail reaches out and kind of wraps around your shoulders and kind of pulls you into a ah hug of sorts. Oh, we're going to have such fun, Peter. Such fun. And he looks down at the four of you from across the room and says, well, breakfast is finished. I reckon we can be good to go.
02:14:43
Speaker
Are you hitching a ride or are you taking the boat? Unfortunately, you we're taking the boat. i kind of was locked into a social obligation. boat's not headed towards where we want to go, follow it.
02:14:54
Speaker
No, the boat's going to Sarposson, which is just fine. Don't we want to go to Sarposson? I think we should stay in the Anchor's Chain. I thought Sarposson was in the Anchor's Chain. Sarposson hundreds of miles to the south, back on the mainland. Why is the geography of this place so ridiculous?
02:15:09
Speaker
In the forest, you know, in the forest, we don't have these stupid islands with all their little names. We have trees. And you go, see at the big one. And we know what we mean, you know? See you at the brown one. And it's the brown, it's the more brown one. And we go there.
02:15:24
Speaker
We don't give everything these silly little names. Where I'm from. Okay, I don't want Thank you so much for asking, Ja'arith. We will not be taking the boat. I was mistaken. Amala says, oh, okay, I've already bought your tickets.
02:15:38
Speaker
Oh, God. Amala, I fucked it, and that's on me. I'm so sorry. Ja'arith, we would be so grateful for a ride, and my friend Glimki here, who knows all the little places, is going to tell us where we're going to go.
02:15:51
Speaker
Glimki... tea I mean, if we have a the opportunity to stop, we may as well like stop at a couple places, maybe. I don't know. I don't want to throw off your father-son trip. and Not a bother. I can cover many miles in a single day. and Well, Peter's never been allowed to leave the island for fear of corruption. And... ungovernable ideas. So, uh, I figure we'll just do a tour of everywhere, you know, kind of boundless pilgrim for a little while.
02:16:17
Speaker
So, party, we're supposed to be going where? Shade Tree Shores? That's where we're supposed to be going? I want to go, you know what, I want to go to the shipping place. What's a quick stop over in Mangan?
02:16:31
Speaker
Okay, we can go to Mangan. Screw it. Let's go to Mangan, let's go to Shade Tree Shores. I don't care. I would like to go to either Mangan or Avox. see two bows for Mangan. Oh, we're throwing a new one in the mix.
02:16:42
Speaker
Okay. And where do you want? Mangan, that's three. right. It's a quick jump over one island. Yeah, Mangan's closest. So, Mr. Orath.
02:16:53
Speaker
ah Oh, please. you can call me Jar. Well, actually, no, me Jararth. I'm in dragon form now. My name's Jararth. It's one big name. It's a dragon name. And so we don't really do with the Mr. Mrs. thing. I can't say, oh, please, Mr. Arth was my father.
02:17:07
Speaker
That doesn't really work. So please call me Jararth. You go by any nicknames? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The the great orator, the ah keeper of knowledge, the resilient brass ornament. That one I don't like so much.
02:17:24
Speaker
Kind of thing my mom called me when I would hang off her neck all the time. and she'd be like, oh, you're such a resilient brass ornament. And i I didn't care for that. But you get the idea.
02:17:34
Speaker
Yeah. Why do I kind of like this guy now? I'm very charming. Just severely misguided in my ideology. I wanted to ask, since, you know, you live on one of the islands in the Anchor's Chain, is there an easy way for people to travel between islands?
02:17:51
Speaker
like a Like a ship service or something? Oh, I reckon the easiest way is to own your own boat. Or fly. Flying's really good. KFMV, I may be so candid.
02:18:03
Speaker
I don't want to sound hubristic. We came to this island with a hope and a prayer on a boat that we essentially lied our way onto and we're leaving on Dragonback. I feel like why constrain ourselves, you know, by predicting why what means we'll leave the next island, you know? God knows we'll probably be turned into stardust and blown by an angel across the water. We really can't say.
02:18:23
Speaker
Why fuss about it, you know? Yeah, you're right. I think I'm just excited to be traveling by Dragonback, I guess. that's It's a pretty cool mode of transportation. It's pretty sick. Yeah, it's pretty pretty sick. Are you guys offended that I didn't make you friendship bracelets?
02:18:39
Speaker
Yeah, kind We'll talk about that later. A little bit. Jararth holds up his hand. He's got this big friendship bracelet on it. Oh, what? Oh, you got to get one.
02:18:51
Speaker
Oh, it great. I love those colors with your scales. I'm amazed you raised make one so big. I'm very skilled. Thank you, Lady Faunlin, for handing me this lovely memory bracelet thingy sash.
02:19:04
Speaker
Whatever really it is, it's quite colorful and very fancy. But I've got something, a small little gift in return. And he pulls out of his pocket like this little rock. And it's like ah just a perfect sphere.
02:19:16
Speaker
And he hands it over to you. and my God, thank you. It's the shape that the world isn't.
02:19:22
Speaker
And yeah, when you touch it, you know it's you notice that it's super, super hot. Well, not super hot, but it's face it's very warm. um And it is a so ah solid brimstone and it generates 95 degrees Fahrenheit at all times.
02:19:40
Speaker
On Canada day Really? Yeah. Oh, I thought you guys, that's why I chose it. Okay, 35 degrees Celsius. Fantastic. Okay, I chose, I thought you guys were paranoid. I've made grave mistake right in the end. I did so well.
02:19:55
Speaker
Let's
Arrival at Mencken and Industrial Surprise
02:19:56
Speaker
see if it's in brackets. Okay, 35 degrees Celsius. I had no idea how hot it was when you said Fahrenheit. I was like, that's a high number. That's probably warm. Stick, 90 degrees. you got you got You have a little hot rock. And I just say, this was a token from my dad.
02:20:13
Speaker
But since I'll be seeing the world, I don't need a replica of it. So... You can keep it. Thank you Actually, like nobody ever really, other than Fallow, has ever given me like a friendship memento before.
02:20:27
Speaker
So this is really touching. I'm going to keep it in my wig where I keep all the really cool stuff I have. And remember, it's like 90 degrees Fahrenheit. So it's really hot because no one knows what that actually is. if you say so.
02:20:41
Speaker
I wonder what that is in Celsius. What unit does that use to calculate temperature? Kelvin. Oh. Thank you, Peter. Yeah, the rock is warm in your hand. And as you walk out into the the center of the basin, Amala walks up to you and says, well, this is all rather a lot to take in, dear.
02:21:02
Speaker
ah I'm going to go to Sarposon and enjoy the sights there. I've got some friends I can catch up with. And then I will make my way back to Aetanin. And i assume you'll be joining us at some point. We can finish out the summer together before going back to the the winter villa.
02:21:19
Speaker
Yes, darling. Honestly, safe travels and I will miss you. You and you and Kazrin have been so very good to me. I honestly don't deserve it, but I am very grateful nonetheless.
02:21:29
Speaker
Oh, hush. You are a wonderful guest. I'm sorry you almost died multiple times under our watch. Not your fault. Never been your fault. One time I jumped. Not your fault.
02:21:40
Speaker
I think that's true. I think I'm don't know fully the cause and effect of my actions or the butterfly effect. Perhaps I say the wrong thing at brunch and suddenly someone's in your throat, but, uh,
02:21:51
Speaker
No, I think you're right. It's not my fault, but I still feel responsible. And I'm sorry that Crombeck was such a bad bodyguard. He kind of quit on us unexpectedly, and I still don't really fully know why.
02:22:02
Speaker
But it was it was good to have you with us, and you're still with us. You're just on a little vacation, and we will find we'll see you soon. And we'll keep your bed made for you.
02:22:13
Speaker
Fallow will, I'm sure, be hawkish over that room, making sure no one sets foot in there. Too kind, darling. Kisses, bisou. And I do the two cheek kiss. Ah, in the dwarven style. Yes.
02:22:27
Speaker
Yeah, she waves goodbye. The entirety of the compound gathers. You see Captain Zoralo Depthbane has made the journey back in and hits you with the crispest salutes. And Jenjemfruk, still bandaged from head to toe, also hits the crispest salute and knocks himself down unconscious. Yeah.
02:22:46
Speaker
Ruckus and Tucker start a fist fight when they meant to be waving and a small waifish auditor who we really just did not interact with but a single time has a notebook and she's like, hmm, dragon.
02:23:00
Speaker
Is that bad? ah She's writing in like a crown with like big letters so you can see what she's saying even from a distance. And the four of you climb aboard Jar-Areth's back.
02:23:11
Speaker
He says once again, ah Hold on tight and get comfortable and maybe grab some blankets. where We're going. It's going to get a little cold. Why didn't you tell us that before we got on your back?
02:23:22
Speaker
Dramatic irony! That's not what that is. And he begins to flap his wings. And once again, the sand, just in these big gusts, begins to fan out from him and kick up around you.
02:23:34
Speaker
And he takes off into the air, slowly at first, but quickly gaining speed. And he swoops up into the air and dives down once again over the sand dunes, coasting over the desert of Khabaris.
02:23:50
Speaker
before the ground gives way to ocean. Just this endless sea before you, and he rides an air current up into the sky, flying higher and higher as the entirety of Kobaris, and then the Anchor's Chain, and then all of Zav is laid out before you.
02:24:07
Speaker
The air gets cold and it gets thin. It gets a little hard to breathe. But before you can say anything, you look out and maybe it's just the atmosphere blurring things ever so slightly.
02:24:21
Speaker
But for a second, the planet almost looks round. Just like a little bit of blur at the edges. But before, maybe maybe it's oxygen deprivation. It's atmospheric lensing. It was in the lectures. Yeah.
02:24:37
Speaker
That's correct. That is correct. As long as that supports my beliefs. And then Jararth begins to dive back down to warmer air and traveling onwards to your destination.
02:24:51
Speaker
You fly for the better part of the day, the better part of 12 hours. The sun bright in the sky above you begins to grow orange and then red and then it explodes, casting the night sky, the stars out above you.
02:25:05
Speaker
And as the twilight settles down over you, Jar-Arith draws your attention to the horizon, where the shape of an island begins to take form.
02:25:16
Speaker
Clay. Every artist has heard of the splendor of Mengen. and the inspiration it has given to generations of creatives.
02:25:30
Speaker
The beautiful glades, the sprawling forests, the pristine coasts. It is a place where anyone can see beauty and be inspired by it.
02:25:43
Speaker
Glimke, in your reading of both the Floral Compendium and Vera Lonebury's Guide to the Anchor's Chain, you've read about the glistening lakes that dot the island and the idyllic towns that have sprouted up alongside them.
02:26:00
Speaker
It's a place that perhaps you didn't plan on visiting until very recently, but anytime you read about it, it sounded truly spectacular. Maybe some of your siblings went there before you and raved about it and you knew that, if possible, it was a place you would want to see.
02:26:17
Speaker
Fonelin, your family owned a painting from an artist who spent a good deal of time on Mengin. It depicted a sleepy village with houses made of mushrooms and happy fae folk living within it.
02:26:31
Speaker
And it was silly. Amongst the splendor and rigidity of noble life, it was this silly little painting of almost mouse-like creatures living in mushroom houses.
02:26:43
Speaker
But it always made you happy. You have all heard about the beauty of Mengen, and so as the island draws near, you are all greatly surprised to see an industrial hellscape lying before you.
02:26:58
Speaker
No! What? Columns of thick black smoke belch into the sky from terrible gashes carved deep into the island. Large swaths of forest have been cut down, leaving angry, twisted stumps behind.
02:27:12
Speaker
the air feels thick as clouds of ash rain down onto the island, landing in your hair and on your clothes.
Decision to Continue Journey
02:27:21
Speaker
Jararth circles around the island one time, before descending towards a decently-sized town on the northern coast.
02:27:29
Speaker
He swoops over houses these large buildings made of ugly concrete, before landing in the center of a large courtyard with numerous cobblestone streets that branch off.
02:27:41
Speaker
The courtyard is empty at this late hour, save for a bronze statue of a woman that appears to be missing its head. As Jarareth lands, a thick cloud of ash and dirt kicks up around you.
02:27:54
Speaker
And as it clears, you can see the streets. illuminated by oil lantern, are dirty. Houses that were once painted in vibrant shades of red and yellow and blue are black with soot and grime.
02:28:07
Speaker
A man previously unseen, sitting at the edge of the courtyard, lurches to his feet, and with slurred words says, Dragon!
02:28:19
Speaker
To which Jararth replies, ah Hush now! And breathes a familiar thick cloud that washes over the man and puts him promptly to sleep. Jararth extends a wing and the three of you slide down.
02:28:31
Speaker
He says, it's been some time since I've been here, but this would be Onkyo. Previously a popular place for artists and creatives and the like.
02:28:47
Speaker
Anyway, not really sure what's going on here. Not good. Looks bad, really. You sure you want to stay here? ah can I can take you to the din the dinosaur island if you want. It's much cooler, I'm sure. ki That's so tempting, but thank you. No, you you guys have a big trip ahead of you.
02:29:06
Speaker
Yeah, we're going to the dinosaur island.
02:29:10
Speaker
ah Before you you go, Peter and Ja'ara, if you do... happen to find yourselves anywhere near dwells, maybe pop in and find the Treefellows and just let them know that I'm doing okay.
02:29:26
Speaker
Of course, Mr. Treefellow. I'll pass on the good work. Have you got anything that they would know? Just soon like ah a nickname, or a phrase, or a keepsake, or just so we don't rock up with a dragon and some fake words?
02:29:42
Speaker
That's a good question. Like, nicknames, there's a lot of them. I have wrote them all down. Maybe just jot them down on a piece of paper for me later, because I'm probably going to forget.
02:29:54
Speaker
I'm going to Dinosaur Islands, you see, first. Yeah, he'll have he'll tear a page out of his his journal and write a little note to his sisters. and Yeah, just a little note that just says, I'm doing okay. It's been a great adventure so far. Made friends with the dragon.
02:30:17
Speaker
Then like an arrow pointing upwards.
Gratitude and Departure
02:30:21
Speaker
Well, Peter, unless you've got anything else to say to your friends here, I was about to say a few words.
02:30:28
Speaker
I'm all good. i gave I did the limericks, I gave him the rock. I think I'm i'm okay. Thanks, everybody. You changed my world. I'm going to let my dear old dad talk and then he'll fly away, I'm sure. He talks of dinosaurs. I'm ready.
02:30:44
Speaker
Okay, so the thing is...
02:30:48
Speaker
You can see where I'm coming from, right? It looks really round from up there. It really did look, you know I'll give it to Come on, Dad. It kind of round up there. it Yeah. I gotta give it to you. du I did. I gotta give it to you.
02:30:59
Speaker
It's a disc. Of course it's round. It's not spherical. I'll tell you what, Pete, why don't we, we'll do the dinosaur island thing, and then maybe after that we, like, fly underneath and see what's down there.
02:31:12
Speaker
Wonderful. You haven't done that before? You need conclusive proof, yeah. what I really like my island, okay? I was happy there. Oh my god. Really the best of luck to both you. And and Peter, genuinely thank you.
02:31:27
Speaker
I know I didn't get to know you much, but these these two trusted you enough and and you showed up for all of us. I appreciate that. And I appreciate you. And honestly, good luck with everything.
02:31:40
Speaker
Try not to steal any more princesses. That's a good note. Clay jawed that down. They told you. That took us a while to get out of here. And by a while, I mean the first time I met Clay.
02:31:52
Speaker
Oh, and, um, Ja'arith, if you do see a princess standing in a field, it's not a real princess. That's my friend Sten. And you can just leave him on his own. He doesn't he doesn't need to be kidnapped again.
02:32:08
Speaker
i don't really know what that means, but all right. john You were multiplying the radial aspect by pi. You need to divide. It's divided by Holy shit, the world's flat. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying.
02:32:23
Speaker
And he will flap his wings, taking off into the air, kicking up a heavy cloud of ash and dust around you. And you watch as Peter and Jararth disappear into the sky,
02:32:39
Speaker
sailing off for adventures unknown. If this were a movie, we'd have credits and it'd be the two of them on on a boat on a dinosaur island looking scared. And oh, look at this. They're in a snow-capped mountain and ah there's a yeti and it's going on. They're scared again. a lot of lot of scary things.
02:32:56
Speaker
And maybe they're on the bottom of the world in one day. We'll see. Wow. But as the three of you look around the ash streaked streets of Onkel, wondering what has happened to this paradise and wondering what you're supposed to do about it.
02:33:14
Speaker
We will stop tonight's session of Bard's Duke. I have a good stinger. I have a good stinger line to end on. or do you want You want me to give a little good stinger line to end on? Yeah. ah Give me, give me some sting.
02:33:26
Speaker
Bye. Goodbye. Oh shit. I wrote him a little limerick and I forgot to give it to him. Ah, Do you guys want to hear it? Yeah. Yeah. him Of course you do. What am I asking for?
02:33:38
Speaker
There once was a fellow named Peter whose magic tricks couldn't be neater. He was a good friend. We're so sad for the end. His episode sure was a heater. oh i don't really get the ending part. What is episode? Okay, well, you thinking you just don't think in an astral perspective like I do.
02:33:59
Speaker
It's meta, Glinky. It's meta. Jordan would understand. Got it. The guy that you got killed me. dismembered.
02:34:12
Speaker
Amazing. Thank you. Elliot, thank you so much for joining us. This has been a delight and a pleasure and three more nice words that I don't dare say no on air. And...
Guest Promotion and Wrap-Up
02:34:24
Speaker
Once more for the road, would you tell the fine folks where they can find you and and what your least favorite thing about Canada is? Okay.
02:34:36
Speaker
They can find me over on inkplaypublishing.com or inkplaypublishing on the socials, Instagram mainly. I'm making a five v compatible TTRPG. It's dark fantasy. It's Victorian inspired. It's got plagues and diseases. It's called Gothica Plague Worlds.
02:34:49
Speaker
So go check that out. Woo! And my least favorite thing about Canada is that I don't live there. That's our least favorite thing too. That is a high tax rate with seemingly little return on our investments.
02:35:03
Speaker
That was my second least favorite thing................
02:35:24
Speaker
thank you so much for listening to this father's day coded bowl of bard soup i have been your absentee father figure of a dungeon master zach meikle joined by prima jow as clay campbell jordan johnson as glimki tree fellow and shannon meikle as faunal and veydark We were once again so fortunate to be joined by Elliot from Inkblade Publishing Peter Goodacre.
02:35:44
Speaker
If you want to see more of Elliot, you can check him out at inkbladepublishing.com or follow his Kickstarter campaign for Gothic Plague Worlds, which will be launching later this year. We've included links to both in the episode description.
02:35:56
Speaker
And if you just enjoyed this episode in general, consider leaving a five-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. And while you're at it, follow us on Instagram and TikTok at bard underscore soup. We'll be back in two weeks with chapter 27. So in the meantime, stay frosty. It's it's hot out there.
02:36:14
Speaker
Okay. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye now. Goodbye now. Bye-bye. Oh, you got healed! Yeah. yeah i've I'm an idiot-o. I'm an idiot-o man. It's me. oh good it was za but it's it's a deal Oh, no, we knew it. Oh, we knew it.