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The Last Witch Hunter (2015)
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This week on the Everything Actioncast, Zach and Chris hunt witches with Vin Diesel for The Last Witch Hunter, recently released on 4K.
Coming out in 2015 and based on Vin Diesel's Dungeons & Dragons character, "Melkor the Witch-Hunter", Diesel stars as Kaulder, an immortal warrior who works with an organization called the Axe & Cross to keep humanity safe from magical threats. When a group of evil witches plot to bring back the Witch Queen (Julie Engelbrecht) and unleash a plague upon the world, Kaulder needs to figure out a way to stop them, which requires remembering a key part of his past. Zach and Chris discuss Kaulder's unimaginative witch-hunting arsenal, magical food and drink, Elijah Wood's nonsensical backstabbing, the urban fantasy world building and more.
You can watch The Last Witch Hunter on Max or check out the new 4K. Next week, we're heading to Amish country to discuss Witness for its 40th anniversary and because Harrison Ford will soon be seen as Thunderbolt Ross/Red Hulk in Captain America: Brave New World.
We want to hear your comments and feedback. Send them all to contact@everythingaction.com. Also, let us know your suggestions for movies for us to discuss.
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Transcript
Introduction and Weekly Focus
00:00:03
Speaker
Welcome to the Everything Action Cast, the official podcast of EverythingAction.com.
00:00:18
Speaker
Hello and welcome to the Everything Action Cast podcast guests week of January 27, 2025. I'm your host Zach. And my co-host Chris. And this week we are hunting some witches with Vin Diesel and talking about the last witch hunter which is finally at 4K. We've all been you know cramp scrambling for the 4K release of this movie. It's finally here.
Vin Diesel's Unique Role
00:00:42
Speaker
The long-anticipated 4K release of The Last Witch Hunter. The movie that people kind of keep forgetting now and then, because if it's not Vin Diesel in Cars, I think this movie does encompass all of that. If he's not wearing like special goggles,
00:01:01
Speaker
If he's not, uh, on a mission from like a a secret organization, if he, if he doesn't fire a gun, I feel like, no, I think he fires a shotgun on this one. He, yes, he has, because you can just go after witches with like a normal shotgun, apparently. Um, but I think in almost all of his movies, this is the only one where I think he wields a sword, a knife or something he has in other movies, like melee things, but this one he legit has a sword.
Origin of Kolder
00:01:31
Speaker
Yeah, because Riddick has those, like, curved blades.
00:01:36
Speaker
Dom doesn't use, Dom doesn't use, he only uses, like, shotguns and his fists. No, he has a wrench. Yeah, that's his sword. In Triple X, I don't think he ever picks up, like, a short-range weapon, like a melee thing. No, he, Triple X, Xander Cage has that crazy gun that had, like, multiple different kinds of bullets in it. You can just, like, flip the chamber and be like, it's the exploding bullet, it's the sticky bullet, it's the camera bullet.
00:02:01
Speaker
Yeah, that that was ah stolen from Dread, like the Dread stuff, the Lawgiver. Yeah, ah this is the only one I know where he gets to basically basically be like a gothic um Dom. Well, this is the only movie, I think, in cinema history that's based on the main star's D and&D character.
00:02:23
Speaker
Because Kolder is based on Melkor the Witch Hunter, which is Vin Diesel's Dungeons and Dragons character. he's been playing for you know decades of D&D which is fine because it's like does that mean that this is canonical to the D and&D lore of things well it's it's strange because D and&D is not really modern because this this is like urban fantasy this is like you know modern present-day fantasy but yeah there' I mean I'm sure there's probably um game Yeah, like games that use like d20 rules, but and then um and they're like a modern day setting but like actual D and&D is like, ah you know, fantasy medieval kind of
Fantasy Settings Compared
00:03:02
Speaker
thing. I think in D&D, it's not Earth. No, it's not. Also, that's the distinction. Like no matter how much that world evolves, it can never have like modern day things because of the lore. like I think you're right. like
00:03:20
Speaker
the The rules sort of always keep it like bottle contained. Like yeah so um like no one would ever be like a like have cell phones. At least not right now. That'll be later on in some giant edition and be controversial. This is this is more like Shadowrun. Yeah. Without the cyberpunk stuff. like if it's just like straight The straight fantasy stuff in like modern day settings.
00:03:45
Speaker
I would like if there was a thing where ah the world was more used to it. You know what I mean? like well those was ah It was also like but like the Bright, we the Will Smith movie. Oh shit, you're right. you can you can definitely like It can get out of control. Yeah. But I like the idea that it's sort of like Bright, but this came up before Bright. Yeah.
00:04:08
Speaker
Uh, and you basically have the bounty hunter equivalent of, okay, you need a specialized person who can go after this. Like you still need their day to day community services, but you, but then you get like this guy who was like, yeah, he's a specialist, but only, only the one society knows it. Yeah. He's kind he's kind of a witcher, kind of a Highlander.
00:04:33
Speaker
um I think you were saying like he's kind of like Constantine a little bit too before we started recording. like a Or at least like least we had similar vibes like the Keanu Reeves costume.
Fantasy Movie Trends of the 2010s
00:04:50
Speaker
there's ah it was kind of like I feel like there's a ton of like ah around within like this like, I don't know, five or like middle of the 2010s. There's like all these like fantasy movies that were coming out. Yeah. That like dog piled on top of each other.
00:05:04
Speaker
like Seven Sun and like Nightwatch and Season of the Witch and Hansel and Greta Witch Hunter. I'm on letterboxes like similar to the last Witch Hunter movies.
00:05:18
Speaker
But yeah, there' was like there's like ton of just kind of like this, um like we're trying to like like start a new like fantasy ah series. It was like, I don't know if it's post Harry Potter, I think like Harry Potter was wrapping up probably. It was definitely post Lord of the Rings.
00:05:34
Speaker
Oh, definitely. I think Harry Potter wrapped up two years before this. Like the last one was like. Twenty twelve. Twenty eleven. So yeah, it's it's Harry Potter been done for a while.
00:05:50
Speaker
ah There is that like ah like aesthetic of a Harry Potter, especially by the last two movies where everything is like Gothic looking and everyone looks a little the lighting's dingy, magic is done in like basically like open spaces now.
Cinematic Aesthetics and Influences
00:06:08
Speaker
Where before in other magic movies, it was always done like in an old house.
00:06:18
Speaker
I think this was, um, this is also probably right around time. Let's put your come out was probably like peak game of thrones too. Cause it was like, that yeah, it was like you see three or four was going on. Yeah.
00:06:30
Speaker
Because Rose Leslie, who costars in it, I think just got killed off. And then this is the thing she did right after leaving Game of Thrones. It was not bad. I mean, she was, I think, right before that special season of Luther, if you've ever watched that. I've got to catch up with my hand on a lot of loser stuff. I might just rewatch the whole show again.
00:06:58
Speaker
Yeah, I'm i'm like a season behind, but yeah, she. It's a shame that she never got to like more of that level again. Because she wasn't bad in this, like she's not the bad part about this movie. And Vin Diesel isn't bad. I'm going to say that like he fine. Well, Vin Diesel is just doing his normal, like he's just doing his normal Vin Diesel thing. But as like but he as like an immortal witch hunter.
00:07:24
Speaker
Like there's a lot happening, but then there's like nothing happening. There are certain moments that just don't connect to the overall story. Yeah. I feel like, I feel there's a lot of stuff that Vin Diesel knows what's like, knows what it is or like, like he has like a lore book of all this stuff, but and but then the movie kind of just like, doesn't like get into it. It glosses over a lot. It's like, Oh, you're a, you're a dreamwalker.
00:07:48
Speaker
Honestly, the parts, the most of the lore dump happens when there is a non-magical person or or like the rookie, you know, Elijah Wood character. Well, you think you, yeah, you think, you think like they would explain a lot to Elijah Wood, but then he also, but here he knows a lot of stuff because he was training to be like the Dolan for a while. So here he he knows a lot of the stuff already. So there's, you like know, not for people like us who just kind of are just viewing this as an audience. Yeah.
Kolder's Immortality and Backstory
00:08:15
Speaker
Yeah, but yeah, Vinny's Nicole is colder. He was a he was a Viking, I guess, right? Or some sort of medieval knight or. And he was ah part of a band that went to go kill the witch queen because she was going to unleash the Black Plague. Or already already unleashed the Black Plague, and then he needs to stop her. And then he killed her, but then she cursed him with immortality. So he's been spending you know hundreds of years stopping witches and killing witches and doing whatever.
00:08:46
Speaker
whatever else needs to be done to keep humanity safe from magical things. There's there's like, there's a, there's ah a big Lord up from like O'Kane early on where he's like, he's explaining
The Ax and Cross Organization
00:08:56
Speaker
like, Oh, there's like a treaty that happened between, uh, the accent, like there's like the accent cross, which we never really never explained like how they got formed or what they are. Like, ah so like do they work for the Catholic church? Like,
00:09:10
Speaker
Yeah, that the that's introduced in the halfway point where they have to do the mandatory ah console thing to sort of say Vin Diesel, you know you're like ah a you're going rogue. You're going against the wishes of us because we know better, but you've been around longer. and Yeah, there's there's the witch council that like tries witches and then sends them into the witch prison. But then there's the like human side, which is the axing cross, which seems like they're like, the it's like, spin off of it, the Catholic Church, but they never really mentioned that we're the church, but they're priests. So you never really get get sense like what, how they formed, what, where were they came from. They're just like, oh yeah, we're, you work for us now, Vin Diesel. Did Vin Diesel just, form did he help form them? Or were they just like, we're forming this and you're helping us now.
00:10:04
Speaker
Cause there was like a, In his like band of ancient warriors, there was like ah there was a Dolan, that's where they get to like the ah term Dolan from. like Oh, from him? The first one that went with Vin Diesel when he killed the Witch Queen was the first Dolan. Then like everyone after that has been like, there's a Dolan that always helps him, and they're up to 37 now with Elijah Wood. Okay, so now I'm confused about that. cause Was that Viking group supposed to be like witch hunters or like, I thought they were like, uh, just, uh, the local warriors trying to take care of like whatever menace was in that neighborhood. Yeah. see It seems like that they formed just, that was like the first time and they formed up, but I don't think they were specific, which hunters are just like, we need to have to go stop whatever this
Secrets of the Witch Queen's Heart
00:10:48
Speaker
threat is. And it turns and it turns out to be like a witch queen, and but then after audit but then after that, it's like now we're, now we're exclusively stopping witches and magical things from happening.
00:10:58
Speaker
But it seemed like he let it right because he's the one who survived that campaign and then like I'm surprised he's not in charge. Yeah, it's it's weird. It's weird that he colder like seems to like just like he like is just fine working for them, but he has.
00:11:14
Speaker
And he's surprised when they like he finds out like later on that they're like keeping his heart or like which queen's heart um hidden from him. So like he he like he doesn't he doesn't have like the full like scope of what they're doing. The order that he may or may not have found it. Yeah. it's this like he's he's like He's like their like main agent, but it's like it's like it's like Um, the BPR, BPRD, but like, and yeah he's like Hellboy, but then it's like, he came first. It'd be like, if Hellboy was like around for like hundreds of years and like, all the people say like, Hey, we're going to form this organization around you. And then, but then you but then you have to answer to us. Well, technically that's what BPRD did. Yeah. But I mean, there's a lot of lore and like what they were too. Like they, they just became the PPRD. There was like other.
00:12:08
Speaker
things that sort of, I don't know, I can get into that one. But the Witcher, you really, the last Witcher, you have basically like 20 minutes to get on board with the plot or else there's gonna be loss. And get used to that flashback scene too, because that's, they come back to that a ton. Like they have Viking scene that is like a good, probably like a third of the movie is just like flashing back to that Viking scene. Or like scenes of like his family.
00:12:39
Speaker
his family part is like eventually they get it like annoying because you're just like I get it yeah but but it's odd too because colder seems perfectly fine like he just seems perfectly happy in the present day like you know cuz like Highlander like Christopher Laver is kind of like tortured like he's cuz he's been been you know he's been around for so long like he has all this wealth he has nothing like to show like he doesn't have someone to like Uh, he thought it's like his level a while long time ago. He's kind of like, just going through the motions. Colder seems like it's like he's got his cool car. He's got his cool apartment. He's like banging stewardesses. Like he's list like, Oh yeah, this is cool. Like, yeah, he's not having a jaded experience. He's only when it comes to talking to like, which, which is, and then some of the underworld, does he have like the.
00:13:25
Speaker
the sass that like, all right, I'm going to play like bad cop on you. I feel like, I feel like he is kind of, I don't know if he's just like bored though, but like that, that first big scene, like kind of showing off like his, um, you know, like his first big, uh, last witch hunters scene on the plane. It's like, why did he wait till they're on a plane? It's like, stop this where they, it's like endangering the entire plane, um, to like break those crystals up that cause a thunderstorm.
00:13:54
Speaker
Uh, because it's cool looking. Yeah. Like obviously, obviously he was tracking that, that like, which to who had them. So, but he couldn't stop her before she got in the plate or like, he's like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna see how, I'm gonna see how close I can get make this. Yeah, I think that's what it is. It literally can, I think maybe a, he had a double check that she was carrying those rocks.
00:14:18
Speaker
And then B, to make a dramatic rescue and and sort of like play up that, he he was the only one who could stop it. And he's he's got he's got he's got to do like the like basically like the search he's got the surgical tools, has like break them up carefully. He's on a plane getting rocked by turbulence.
00:14:36
Speaker
Also, does that or like the cross organization have to pay off everybody? Because he did that magic trick in front of a lot of people. Yeah, a ton of people probably saw him breaking apart these magical crystals that were like sparking and throwing off magical energy. This is post-9-11. You just can't do that on an airplane.
00:14:59
Speaker
Yes, it's not like it's not men in black. They don't have a way to like wipe those minds or anything. It's like... Well, maybe they do like some magic, but at least show me that. Show me more of the world so that way there is a men in black secret society to keep and hush hush. Yeah. there's one what There's one scene where Elijah Wood does mention, hey, it's like modern day. You need new identity. You've got cameras on you. You've got like, we need a...
00:15:25
Speaker
Um, keep it more secret and Vin Diesel's like, whatever, like, you know, it, it, it, it sort of shows that they're, they do have a standard. There is a policy, but then it doesn't matter. Like anything that happens out in public, it just doesn't matter. Like just go with it. Yeah. They needed like colder needs to have some sort of just like memory of wipes or like, uh, yeah, like a memory.
00:15:50
Speaker
Pollution spell or something they could cast be like and then and everyone forgets what's going to happen Everyone look at look at my chest we yeah we've got some sort of Like amulet or something. Yeah Just just say that just all right everyone look at like the amulet of Rah and then like you'll say some magic words and everyone forgets Yeah, I don't I don't think I don't think it's colder colder doesn't have Like he's not like the Witcher but because the witchers have like, can do like some base level of Matt, like some like energy blast. I don't think colder has magic abilities. I think he just has immortality. and then eat Maybe strength. Maybe. Yeah. But and then he heard that. So, okay. Now here's the thing. Is this based on the rule set that magic camp or magic is inherently like born with?
00:16:44
Speaker
It seems like you have to be born magical in this universe. Okay, okay. I say that because in the opening, they said that witches were like magical people are a different breed, but they've been dwindling because of just natural evolution. So not everyone is as magic. So eventually, no one's gonna be magic. And then what's a video is gonna do, just like drive around in his cool car.
00:17:12
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, there'll be other beings that are magical, but then there won't be humans that can conjure magic, because eventually, generation is going to dilute their ability. Yeah, there's not really any other magical creatures, too, except there's the Sentinel thing, like the woods, whatever that thing is. Yeah, whatever that thing was. But there's not other magical beings or creatures. It's just like warlocks and witches.
00:17:43
Speaker
You know, it's not like said tours or like. Yeah, it's true. Yeah, I was like waiting for that, like there isn't.
Kolder's Lone Journey
00:17:51
Speaker
um Some sort of like Elder Realm, like in they didn't Hellboy, where there are like elves or there's. Like another kingdom of creatures. Yeah.
00:18:07
Speaker
they really held back on that. And I think that's because Vin Diesel just wants to keep it on him more. Not to, I mean, this is his D and&D fantasy campaign that doesn't involve, I guess, like, like his, because imagine his character makes more sense in that setting. But here he's the only witch hunter. He's the only person that is dealing with this case. No, like the organization doesn't have other people, which is weird because like,
00:18:35
Speaker
you figure then like he's the Van Helsing of this you know where you want him to be prepared for everything you want him to be yeah he might have an attitude but he's the only guy you got you built basically a society around hunting and maintaining witches by him you you think that like the axe across would have like i mean yeah colder is the main guy but like have some ah like have like a a response team to who to go help him or something. If it's like there's a threat like the witch queen at the end of this like, you know, world letting threat you're just like, well, we got we have Vin Diesel. That's it. We got this guy. We have the guy who basically begrudgingly does what we want. And we also don't tell him everything he needs to know. What's gonna happen?
00:19:22
Speaker
ah Eventually, something's gonna go wrong and you don't have a backup plan. I think that's the maybe that's the point is that that's how Elijah Wood sort of sneaks in. and Spoiler alert, like um another A-list celebrity, even though he takes like a backseat from all these things, he comes he's introduced in a very sketchy way.
00:19:46
Speaker
yeah courses Yeah, it's like but because Michael Caine is the ah current Dolan and then he is like, i'm i'm ah I'm retiring. And then it's basically the next day. It's like I'm retiring. Here's my replacement. Next day. like michaelcaine It's like, oh, by the way, Michael Caine died. Yeah. And it's like, OK, this is not coincidence in this world of magic and shit. Like coincidences are like. Our magic base, they shouldn't be a um
00:20:15
Speaker
ah just a happenstance of, you know, like he didn't die in a car accident. He died by magic. Like he was tied up and stuff like the you know, like they do like an investigation on him. They they he was bugs are that like it's it's It's like Star Trek where that bug like makes you like say like confess whatever. You can't hold out against it. was like ah the beat it was like the beatetle It was like in his neck or something. It was like one of those like flies. Yeah. In fact, basically, you should always suspect weird magic all the time for all these cases because this this is a world where basically weird magic exists.
00:21:04
Speaker
but we only like We only get like a little bit like it's like there's like the it's the magical bakery I guess that's run by the one guy and then the magical bar The yeah, it's really limited you figured it's New York you would have way more like I'm surprised they didn't have a magical market every every
Magic Regulation in the Movie
00:21:25
Speaker
every good kind of supernatural detective story, the the guy always goes to some night market. Yes. We're just filled with like insane shit. You don't even see that. They they they didn't bother because it's like, OK, you know what that is. It's nothing new. Let's get on to the next set piece. And then they just basically go to a dance club, but like not a dance club, but like, you know, that magical witch brew place that um it has its own like health rating because like
00:21:53
Speaker
Uh, what's your call it Vin Diesel was like, you know, they go there. They know all of him. They're scared of him. Um, I guess the magic has to have be regulated.
00:22:06
Speaker
Vin Diesel is witch hunter and magical health inspector. Yeah. He's basically like a magical Usha inspector. He goes in and he's like, all right, you're up to code. so you nine want so yeah It's all you magic of the code. that you drink These drinks spoiled. Like, how's your eye a new fresh?
00:22:24
Speaker
like Yeah, I would have loved more silly, like, chatter like that, but the movie does. The only time we see that is the bakery where they're making magic, like, desserts out of, like, I guess... Butterflies? Yeah. They're grinding up magical butterflies to put it in the dough, I guess. But why is Elijah Wood surprised about that? He's part of that society. He should know before he does all this.
00:22:48
Speaker
Yeah. what and what does that Did they ever explain like what what that does to like humans? there's like oh no it's It's just so weird. like we we like We like to put butterflies, grown up butterflies in our bread or whatever they're making. I mean, maybe. that's Magical cooking is another weird thing. But yeah it it also shows that like if there aren't magical creatures, right because we established there aren't, this who this food is for witches? like Witches love this?
00:23:20
Speaker
Yeah, because like you said, like the humans don't know they're eating butterfly. They can't be that bad. I mean, the bar, the magical bar makes sense because it's only the witches are going there. So then that's like, they're like kind of like refuge. They can go and they have like their magical drinks or whatever. But yeah, because they're basically potioning. They're all getting yeah like magic drunk, but butterfly food is like.
00:23:48
Speaker
You know, like they're they're cool with that. Yeah.
00:23:53
Speaker
I don't know. You figure magicians and stuff that would actually like decadent rich things that like aren't garbage food. Not saying worm food you know is like garbage food, but I just think maybe that they they would live like high society, eat magical creatures and not just bug cupcakes.
00:24:15
Speaker
It needed to have some sort of effect of like, oh, it lets you see the future, or you get to see the other dimension or something.
00:24:27
Speaker
like the only we we don only drink It's like the only kind of magical potion thing is, because Colder needs that memory drink, to or the memory cherry, to be able to remember what happened. It's weird, because he remembers it seems like he remembers everything, except for like that like the the specifically like three seconds after he died.
00:24:45
Speaker
because he remembers like his family, he remembers like going and killing the witch like which queen, but he doesn't remember a couple seconds, like like a minute or two after where he like got burned and then came back. yeah guys I guess he was like a court basically a burned corpse at that time. but Yeah, so maybe it's, and plus, like I guess after centuries, like your memory does make you go nuts. It's like the Wolverine effect, where basically,
00:25:13
Speaker
ah Him met forgetting his past actually helps him be sane in modern times. Because having like a lifetime of memories like that and and like condensing it is like not healthy. like You're supposed to forget because your brain can only remember. And if you're not, you go insane. I mean, there are people with photographic memory. But it's more like you need reminders to get to it. I mean, at least that's what I've heard. I'm also like saying not saying,
00:25:43
Speaker
maybe Vin Diesel's memory isn't photographic. It's just a normal memory.
00:25:51
Speaker
Well, you know, he's got like, he's constantly like having flashbacks, like his his wife and daughter. That's true. But I think he's haunted by
Kolder vs. Highlander
00:26:00
Speaker
them. Yeah. It's not like great flashbacks. They're always like haunting and like, Hey, Hey, if you, um, if like you'll never visit us cause you're immortal,
00:26:12
Speaker
I mean, it's a sad story, but it's that problem about being a Highlander, where your your first major love, no matter how far into the future, like it's just the same thing. but And it's like it's like Michael Caine's like, you gotta to get out that you gotta get out there and find somebody. like I mean, he was having a great life just, you know, causing f FAA problems and, uh, uh, bullying witches. he's He's got in his suite apartment with like his gun closet or like his weapon closet, which yeah I feel like he he needed some more like magical weapons or like more specialized weapons. Like he's got his sword, which was it called like hex X bringer or something? or
00:26:58
Speaker
And then, but then he's like, he has yeah, he has like a shotgun. Yep. I mean, that's literally not even enough to cosplay us. yeah You just wear like a, like a designer, like a ah dress like a dress shirt and dress pants, then like put a sword on your back. I realize, I realize he's basically a budget blade. Kinda. Yeah.
00:27:24
Speaker
Instead of like cool vampires that go to dance clubs and you know drink blood and make blood factories, witch hunting is kind of simple because they only go to certain regulation places. They have to follow the code. um All they do is drink potions. Like they don't you know like they don't interfere with humans. I mean, even the crimes they're doing,
00:27:50
Speaker
Um, it's all, just it's all just very low. Well, it's like but Michael Caine is the only like human that is like attacked. Like everyone, everyone else is like, ah they're like, ah it's like a witch, witches are attacking other witches to like do whatever their, their, but their scheme is. Well, there was like that candy tree at that one, witch guy which which what is, what is the deal with that? Like random, right? Yeah. it It's like that, the kid gets lured in.
00:28:15
Speaker
Colter's like, hey, don't this not it's not handy. And then the kid leaves, and then they find ah like Joe Gilgun in like the apartment, like like the decrepit apartment. I think he was going to do something with an essence ceiling from the kid, because he's like a junkie. Yeah, maybe. So I think he was going to use like a pure soul for magic. But there's not enough time with that. you know I kind of want to spend more time exploring more witch hunting gigs before you introduce the big bad thing or like more of the regulation but then again yeah you keep doing that and you end up in the bright territory so it's a delicate balance it's like how do you do it to make it interesting without without basically making like a procedural uh
00:29:04
Speaker
But that's the problem. what is you way So if they didn't have the organization, if it was him on his own basically busting things and sort of making up his own rule, fine, right? That makes more sense. He doesn't answer to a consult. He's just sort of like, hey, we are our one type of organization. We need your help doing this fine. But when they say, no, you're you're like a very important tool in our order. And it's like, wait, you've been doing this how long?
00:29:32
Speaker
hundreds hundreds of years thousands of years so like it it it pulls into question like who else is policing these streets it's just been these are all the time he gets no breaks he's been constantly like for the last like 200 years in New York just busting ass well we never even we never figure out um how he finds out I mean we We find out, because someone attacks Mokanes, that's how he gets onto the main case. But like we never find out how he finds witches
Witch Detection and Crime Logistics
00:30:04
Speaker
to hunt. like wet we We never find out why he like was like ah looking for like the weather crystals or anything. Did he actually cross? like Fine. It's like, oh, hey, this witch was doing something ah illegal. i Go get her.
00:30:24
Speaker
There's lots of stuff like that where it's just like, how how does this How does this work? I was told to go find somebody. or like where like like How are they stopping how they aware of which crimes are happening? I mean, it's probably like a magic ring or something something to indicate a presence of magic where it shouldn't be. Maybe it's like restrictive. ah They really don't explain. And I'm OK with that. I'm not so needy because I've got i've got my tensions on other other details.
00:30:55
Speaker
but It's also like, there are watchers, I guess, that are like on the lookout for like incident reports. Cause there's no way that, cause like, you know, there's like bugs that do the like sneaking. They, they establish that like bugs are like another problem in this universe. There's like the bug guy who's making pastries and making like selling information. And the rich, the witch queen, like is going to, like her play gets spread by these flies.
00:31:26
Speaker
like so's That's just like the whole thing and like like when they're when they go to attack her in the ancient times Like it's like a swarm of flies comes out and then that's at the end ah There's a huge swarm of flies that like like kind of like comes out over in New York City Which who cleaned that up afterwards? Because I was like how many of millions of flies was that they just always like died afterwards? So just like I don't know flies on New York City, you know um New York City is one of those classic movie settings where it like you can have such a crazy shit happen in New Yorkers the next day I'd be like over it. Just guys, guys, the street was like brooms, like brushing flies on the street. No one cares. They're like blaming like, you know, they're blaming something. They're blaming like climate change. Well, no, I'm thinking 2015. So climate change has always been a thing in the last few years, but I'm thinking like 2015, like,
00:32:23
Speaker
I was just blaming Obama. It was something where it made sense back then. It's so weird to think this movie is 10 years old, but some parts of it do look pretty good. The fashion, the attitude towards just secret societies, pretty fun. But they really blow it off on that whole, everything has to be sleek and sexy. There aren't any realistic normal people in this society. Everyone's like, everyone has like a fashion designer. Yes. Everyone has to say like fashion designer. they ah like but they ah Everyone has like bangles or designer like clothes. Even if you're just like a bartender, your fashion sense is like, like chic London, like Gothic inspired. I'm just like, all right, if you want to know who is magical, just look by the clothes. I think Elijah Wood and Michael Cairn, the only people who don't get like a sexy makeover.
00:33:21
Speaker
Well, because they had they're they're priests. They're just in their priest outfits. But even in, like... Well, okay, yes. They can blend in with society a lot better than everyone else. Priests priests for what church? We don't know. But it's... But I think they're the only people who dress, like, in a casual fashion. Everyone else is in a fashion show or a model agent. I don't know. I could just figure out what that model underworld broker was.
00:33:48
Speaker
Yeah, that yeah they they literally go to like a fashion show where um Colder knows like one of the models and then it's like the main person overseeing it. She's like, ah weight with she's a witch and she made a deal with the witch queen or like she's part of she's in on like the scheme to bring the witch queen back.
00:34:10
Speaker
Yeah, I don't think it's like a lot of witches don't have don't know or are aware because I think that witch queen is like the only one who's that powerful. And there's like a group there's like a group of like witches that like are like, oh, we want to bring back to like the witch queens. It would be like the witches are back in power and controlling everything again. and
00:34:33
Speaker
But okay, you know that basically these witches are growing in number and society and and you know doing these things. And then the wi the last witch hunter is just one guy. So there's no training, there's no backup. There's just like, let's just keep it tradition. One guy, one deacon guy. That's it.
00:34:58
Speaker
Yeah, it's something like Colder, it's something like Colder couldn't train like Ax and Cross guys, it's like, and then they'd be like normal humans, but like train like a team to help him if he needs them. Yeah, I guess humans don't have the same abilities as a witch hunter, but...
00:35:15
Speaker
you But you can help and you can you could take them down with normal weapons too. Like you can kill them with shotguns or something bad. So you just have like like got have like ah a SWAT team with machine guns and' like X across guys and then like BPD I give a credit because like all of the stories I read the hellboy universe does a lot of time and a lot of hey, how do we explain this? Okay, we'll just like make a story to explain this lore. And then that's how like it flows. There's a lot of wiggle room.
00:35:43
Speaker
Like they jump ahead in time to do things. And then you get to this and you're like, you can just carry that over. Just have the basics of, yeah, a secret society with rules. This is like a task force, but of the task force, he's the best. And that's it. Like, yeah, he's from a different time, but like he's our best warrior. He's not easy to handle. That's why he needs a handler. Also, we shouldn't give him sass because like if he quits, like that's it. Yeah.
00:36:13
Speaker
And then, spoiler alert for the end, he just sort of retires. Well, he's formed his own team.
Kolder's New Team and Sequel Hints
00:36:20
Speaker
I'm forming my own team, my own family. It's me and Rose Leslie and Michael Caine. We're a team now. In his car? Yep, this drive off to, who knows, to the sequel that Vin Diesel's give us is going to happen someday.
00:36:37
Speaker
to like that Babylon movie that, apple t yeah. this it's it There's always, there's been like a, there's a lot of weird, um like Vinny's little movie in these like movies that like seem like they're gonna sort of franchise and then they just collapse. Like he's at Fast and Furious, he's got Riddick, but there's all these other ones that didn't really do anything. I mean, it's just like his trademark. is very And also like Guardians, like the, he just doesn't come back. Oh, okay. Triple X.
00:37:07
Speaker
Chip looks at three movies, ah two of which Vin Diesel was in. But and not everything is being franchised bankable. I don't know. I've got this weird appreciation for it as time goes on of this movie, but it is a paint by numbers thing because There's nothing spectacular about the ending, about the end fight. Like it's a lot of like, ha ha, reveals, you know, it just keeps, it goes to the gauntlet of like, you fight this guy, now you fight this guy, now you you wait for this, and then you stab the queen, and you win. Oh yeah, yeah for ah for how powerful the queen is, she goes down pretty easy. Yeah, it's as if she's just like a pre-boss fight.
00:37:50
Speaker
i I do appreciate they bring back the crystal the Storm Crystals, because like that like all the way the back in the beginning, it's like, oh, he still has them the entire time, and he used them again. and
00:38:01
Speaker
But yeah, there's like the there's reveal that um ah they the Axing Cross, or I guess the like the ah original Warrior team kept them, which is hard, but and which is hard, like tied to Colder to try to destroy that. they colder will probably die too. But it's also keeping him immortal.
00:38:22
Speaker
But then there's a reason to keep him under control, but then he did he was not aware of it at all So I don't know what what did it it was like something like held over him i like hey We have we had the witch's heart so either work for us like I mean that makes sense because what if one day colder just cuz goes rogue cuz I guess it weapon I guess as their plan was like if if he went rogue they they would like stab the heart to destroy the heart and Hope he would like die or like at least like lose immortality Yeah, cuz I think he's tied to the witch So yes, it makes sense where are keeping him alive, keeps her alive. But there's still so many other witches around that not having that option. Like he that's a thing that he's just used and he's more portrayed by that. But it's like, didn't you find the society or something like what's going like? You never never asked what's in the basement. Yeah.
00:39:14
Speaker
the other The other main main guy goes on pretty easy too, like Blowl or whatever his name is. Oh, he puts a bigger fight in the beginning. And he gets weaker as the main goes on. Yeah, like when when he when he um grows the evil tree or whatever, um like he like ah puts the the baker guy in the tree and then that somehow brings the witch queen back. then that when And then shows up and then shoots him with a shotgun.
00:39:43
Speaker
Oh, Kolder also gets hit by that shotgun. Yes, but he's, but he's immortal. So that's just like, he like shakes it off. But then Elijah Wood, let's talk about this. Um, the like surprise, I've been evil all along, which I don't know if absolutely no sense, no sense to sort of like, just, he could have waited until later to reveal this. Um, so he had nothing to do with Michael Caine, right?
00:40:12
Speaker
and maybe he Maybe he told because it doesn't seem like he was talking to the like the mate like below or whatever his name is like he wasn't like working with him. He just like chose you just chose like a moment to be like, hey, by the way, I'm training you like when the witch queen comes back because his parents were witches and color killed them. But but Elijah Wood is mad because he he doesn't have magical powers and he wanted them. so he wants like he thinks If he turns them over to the Witch Queen, the Witch Queen will give him powers. But it also doesn't seem like that's how this universe works. You have to like be bored with the powers, you can't just like get powers.
00:40:56
Speaker
but if But yeah, it's it's it's it's just a sudden turn where it's like, hey, by the way, I'm bad. Yeah. um But then his thing is like, hey, which queen? I know you hate um humans, but make me a witch. And then she's just like, even I give you like powers, like you're so human. Yeah. So why would I give up for the Cuban powers?
00:41:16
Speaker
first
00:41:19
Speaker
But OK, see, that that's that sort of is still pretty confusing because then some humans can upgrade into like another
00:41:30
Speaker
like supernatural thing? Maybe. Maybe. I mean, the movie just sort of doesn't it go that way. and They're like, I don't know what to do. Let's just burn Elijah Wood. Yeah, it's yeah he be it's like his betrayal and death are within like a minute or two. It's like, oh, by the way, I'm turning on you, Colder. Oh, no, I'm dead. Yeah, it happens so quick. It's like a like, you just don't care. You know, you're like, all right, this movie is so packed.
00:42:00
Speaker
Uh, just keep going. You know, it was so not necessary for his betrayal because he could die in it. And that makes more sense. It's like, Hey, it's like, Oh, rookie. No, our first big mission together. I'm more pissed. Uh, vengeance. Nope. But, but he also, he lets Rose Leslie go in and kill Joe Gilgun, which stops the chat, which stopped to bring the witch cream back.
00:42:24
Speaker
Like if he wanted to, which can you come back? Why would he like? Why wouldn't he stop lo so he like to like kill her or something when she was in like the dreamwalker trance? I don't know. ah Because that's the whole thing is like they like they find out that the um all the witches that are in the witch prison are being in like this unison chant that's bringing the which came back and then Rosalie goes in to like The mind she goes into the dream walks into the mind of Joe go gun and to kill him in in the dream because I'll kill him in real life Because then they'll like stop the chanting because that needed all the witches chanting But I should would just let her do it and then it stops it like it works. It stops the chance and maybe
00:43:04
Speaker
maybe like his plan was to like take credit I think to impress because he's never met the witch queen so maybe v he was the one doing in the end is like okay now I I did this like instead of ah like I had to use everyone to get to everyone but his convoluted plan yeah you're right like the more I'm saying out loud I'm like so he he basically had to wait for this moment because he he basically did nothing If you think about it, he just, if he told them, Hey, Michael Caine lives here, go beat him up. Right. hes yeah Like he knows, what he knows about cold, like the witch queen's heart, which they needed, which i think they steal the witch queen's heart, like off screen too. Right. Like we never seen them like breaking and steal the witch's heart. Well, that happens off screens. They had to go to the prison and like, then they go shit. Like.
00:43:54
Speaker
Like the console's dead. Yeah, the which house is dead off-screen as well? Like a lot of stuff happens off-screen. and and But that had nothing. Elijah Wood didn't do that. ah Or did he just feed the secrets to Baron? Balaro? Balaro? Belsazar? But he already knew because he planted like a listening device on one of the members of the console. Yeah. So he didn't need Elijah Wood. Like, you know what I mean? like He gets very like unnecessary for him.
00:44:27
Speaker
Yeah, I don't think Elijah Wood was like in on the, like he wasn't part of like the scheme. I think he just like took advantage at the end. Like, Hey, I can, I can, I can maybe like with which Queens free, like, uh, loose now I could maybe have ever helped me get powers. Cause I want powers for some reason because he's born out of witches, but he has no powers. Yeah. It was unfortunate for him.
00:45:01
Speaker
But yeah, that whole yeah the whole the whole ending is, ah it's like it's in this like dark cavern. we And they fight like the ah what the wood sentinel thing, which I guess kind of cool, kind of stupid. He fights Groot. Groot, yeah. Vin Diesel fighting like his future self.
00:45:20
Speaker
And like in like we said, like the witch queen just goes down so easy, just like it's barely a fight. All the all that but all that buildup is like, oh, lightning, lightning bolts.
00:45:32
Speaker
And then get stabbed in the chest with whatever the Hex thing is. Hexbringer, I call it Hexbringer. I never had an a name for it before.
00:45:48
Speaker
Yeah, I think that that's it. Like I've called her definitely needed some like a like a crossbow or some sort of like even more like blazeal like weapons, like specialized weapons. I mean, even if it went back to like Ben Helsing style level where they're just like steam punkish and a little bit of medieval. Just give me some magical thing that I think at least ties in to more of the D and&D stuff. Or if he had or he if if he could do like some base level like if he could do like a energy blast or something like a Witcher.
00:46:21
Speaker
or conjure things, just like kind of like have the material. Like I know, okay, this is how much D and&D stuff I know. If you're not like born with magic, if you're not like, or, or you give up, you kind of believe in a God, like a paladin, because some paladins aren't born magic. They're not mages or wizards or, you know, warlocks. They are someone who basically asses for power and then says, I'm just going to be your avatar. And then I can conjure things. Okay.
00:46:52
Speaker
um Or you can hold a relic, something that is imbued with power and then use that, like wave it around and then say like enchantments and stuff like that. Cool. This world already establishes all those things. You know, there's a witch queen that is basically their god. There is rocks that can make thunder. There are, um I guess like,
00:47:19
Speaker
Animal avatars that like you can conjure to do things so like all the things I just said exists in a D and&D sense But the but cauldron colder just a shotgun and an and a sword That is nothing compared to the magic. Yeah, get give him like a ah fire amulet or something that he can use to like But he wears it and then that that like turns his sword into fire, like he can shoot fire blasts or something. or Holy shit, I would love to see that. That would have been like this cool final battle. She's a tree woman. He's got a flaming sword. It's an almost like a equal footing. And I wish i wish he had like like ah you like a final ah like he feel like ah like a special armor or something. that he' like It's like, and I put this away. I'm never going to wear it again. And then he put it back on.
00:48:08
Speaker
like oh It could have been some Viking-themed gear that he had. He just goes down, into like is like his clothes he's wearing in the entire movie, just like his dress shirt and pants. He's just like, I'm going to go foot the witch in this. oh I mean, his ah his fancy Armani like yeah um witch gear. Yeah. Which again, what? You're going to this final battle. You have a closet full of awesome shit. I think he also had a few more hours to prepare for this final battle before just kind of chance encountering the witch queen.
00:48:42
Speaker
You ever, okay, you ever watched Union Chronicles, the sci-fi movie that is almost like a, it's a sci-fi fantasy thing. It's based on like a tabletop RPG, but for some reason they made a like a movie. It's always like Thomas Jane and- I saw it like when it came out and I totally forget what anything about it. It's based on just a tabletop, just lore about just humans and fighting aliens and then having a little bit of magic in there. like only like, I guess like, destiny, I don't know if it's destiny, but it's just like, hey, you just have like supernatural forces. ah They do it fine because they, they, the people who are in that movie don't know what's going on. Like they are experiencing it as if you're experiencing
00:49:34
Speaker
It's not an amazing movie, but it does a fun job of just kind of, hey, here's some self references to the lore. Here's some things we're going to move on. It's going to get silly. And it's, it's got a little bit of everything. It's sci-fi. It's got a sword play. It's got like mutants. Right. And like demons. This, it does everything that has come before, you know, like everything about,
00:50:00
Speaker
the but society, the magic monsters, a witch queen. It just doesn't stick the landing because it didn't do anything new. And like, this is, I guess like for it's also like a PG-13 movie, I think. it Yeah, it is. So it keeps it within that like, oh, don't get too violent. Don't do anything too satanic.
00:50:26
Speaker
Yeah, witches aren't going to explode. He's there's so like is that beheading witches or people are exploding in blood or anything like that. No, it's just like a lot of like everyone melts.
00:50:38
Speaker
yeah the Michael Caine just is asleep for the third of the movie. Yep. That's the best words. is like Oh, he's not dead. He's in a magical coma. so
00:50:51
Speaker
I say like Mutant Chronicles is not a better movie, but it's a different movie that takes the subject matter for like a table, like for a tabletop rules and they do it well. We're like, Hey, if you know the game, this isn't bad. Or if you know, like a little bit of what it's inspired by, this is where you get like a blend. Um,
00:51:17
Speaker
It doesn't rank high in a video game kind of fantasy thing about the last one chapter, but I appreciate the attempt. Like, you know, like that's just as a, an outside nerd in table talk. Cause I don't play a lot of this, but I, I have been exposed to it enough. I respect like how ingrained it is in some people. Uh, and I enjoy like things like Fox Machia.
00:51:39
Speaker
So when they watch a movie that is like ahead of a concept, like which for Vin Diesel to be like, listen, I'm a movie star now. Like I want to make a thing based on this nerd shit. Like who's with me? It's a good attempt because it could be a lot worse. It could be basically RPD. Rest in peace department. All right, PD. All right, PD. And which, yeah, that one makes me upset just because like It just falls apart when you start questioning things. This one it goes, oh, there's holes. It's stupid things, but I get it. And RPD doesn't introduce like food, you know? Yeah. um But in that sense, they did it right by basically having the movie follow both the veteran and the newcomer.
00:52:31
Speaker
This movie would have been different if you follow Elijah Wood most of it. And then you find out the twist is that he's actually a bad guy. And then it switches to Vin Diesel. I think that would have been a fun thing.
00:52:45
Speaker
Or if, um, like, if like the accent cross, like turned it like if colder, find out that they had a heart and then he had to fight the accent cross to get like, get, get like hit the heart back or something, or like, you know, then that that's what,
00:52:59
Speaker
In the end, it's like, ah well, i should I showed the witch queen and the X across, now I'm but by myself. Because then you could have like, you have the X cross, that's where you bring in like all the, they have like an army of guys and the Colder like fights them all or something. It's like, oh, you're trying to get this Colder? wait Like, kill him. Or it's like, okay, we want you to destroy all the witches in New York. And it's like, oh, I can't, like I saved my friend. And then he realizes that this, um this sect of them are like super corrupt. Like they they no longer care about peace and organization. They care about like, they're just as bad as the villain. Yeah. have Get Bill Nighy in there. It's like what's the, like actually cross council. He's always like the main
00:53:48
Speaker
you know the the main evil guy of whatever like fantasy organization you have. Yeah, if you if you are a society that is like in leather and black, um Bill Nighy's the guy who you should always elect as your figurehead, because he's going to basically get you all destroyed.
00:54:16
Speaker
yeah was it Yeah, he was, was was he an I Frankenstein? We did the commentary last year, which I remember. Like he was like the like a made scientist in that, right? I think so. I remember watching that commentary and just having another existential freak out of just like, wait, what? What is happening? They're adding too much lore. that was also That was also like around this time, too, I think. That was definitely one of the like these like fantasy, ah urban fantasy kind of like trying to make a new franchise.
00:54:46
Speaker
But we didn't have these kind of questions. They just didn't do certain things right. Well, I frankly say it's basically just underworld. I said, it's gargoyles versus demons. Yes, and that's easier to understand. It's just like, all right, we're just going to have this underground fight, and there's a lot of like secret wars going on. Fine with that. In fact, but that's what this movie should be. It should be like, Colder is part of the overall army of the good guys.
00:55:17
Speaker
But he's not like in this, it's just like, he's the only one. He's the last witch hunter. The last and only one.
00:55:31
Speaker
Yeah, and and and he, yeah, and he and Michael Caine, I guess Michael Caine's gonna but help like tell them where to go or like help be on like in New York City, just like ah like helping, helping Rose Leslie and Vin Diesel find where they're going to fight now. I'm actually I thought he gave it up, but it made it seem like he needed a break and live life and not keep doing this because now he's like human. He doesn't have his power, so he can't just can't tank shit anymore. I think he has. I think he saw his powers because the heart is still intact.
00:56:09
Speaker
Because um Those are these basically so like she says she just is a vision of like other things that are waiting for her colder to die and then they're gonna attack the world So because he wants cuz clothes like I gotta destroy the heart and like I don't care if it kills me in the process But I'm destroyed a heart so she can never come back and then she's like no you can't because I've seen I saw like other Crazy things lurking in the background there when I come to our world and kill. Oh, I Miss that my brain would have took too much of this already So he stops, and then the cart's in his like weapons cabinet at the end. And so you can hear it beating at the end. That's like the last scene.
00:56:48
Speaker
And they're they're they're like driving off to yeah be at the The left axe cross is is like not a part of it anymore. It's it's just Vinny's and Rosalie and Michael Canada are a trio now. Rogue, they're going to fight magical threats themselves without any other organization with them.
00:57:13
Speaker
which which for diesel in like 2020 said this could to be a sequel. I mean, would I see it? Yeah. But the war is established. Any any movie that takes this much actually, you know, in in a weird way, this movie skips a lot of the establishing lore that you would for like a world building movie. But I'm OK with it. Like once once you lay out the groundwork and the foundation, I'm OK with that. But The movie should have been like just fighting the Witch Queen, and then the sequel is, oh shit, the acts and cross society has gone rogue and evil. like there' get there's no They realize now they have like unlimited power, and they want to basically just like rule the world under their magical means. like you know Because it's like the whole society has been built around trying to fight this Witch Queen, and they did.
00:58:11
Speaker
And now they're just like, okay, so there's no one opposing us now. Yeah. Or they used, they used like the, uh, X-cross is like, well, they use the thread of the witch queen to like, see,
Potential Sequel Plotlines
00:58:20
Speaker
we were right. We, we kill all the witches. Yeah, we can't, yeah, they get paranoid. And they come, there's, there's some sort of magical McGuffin that will kill them all. They didn't stop or something. I mean, that's a good setup. I'm actually Skybeam. I'm actually Skybeam that killed the witches.
00:58:38
Speaker
It's some sort of spell we need to shout to the sky. You have a blue light.
00:58:47
Speaker
And then Rosalie's like dream walk into the evil, the main bad guy's mind or something. that's but there's ah they also like So there's like, there's like different types of witches. They didn't really get into that either. Like it was like, it's like, Rosalie's a dreamwalker, but they don't really explain any other witches.
00:59:13
Speaker
Which, yeah, like like, I guess it doesn't work all the time. It only works on certain people. I well guess, I guess she didn't want to do it because it's they like, it's ah like the most dangerous, like magic or something. Cause they like kill people. She basically freaked out people.
00:59:34
Speaker
And she didn't want to like be on the radar of Colder, I guess, because then maybe if you like dreamwalk people, he'd be like, you're a dreamwalker, I gotta kill you. You're too dangerous.
00:59:52
Speaker
But yeah, they also there's like. um There's a thing like the elements because like there's like different levels element at the levels or different elemental triggers like fire, earth, air, water, and then the fire or like, yeah, i think it's the fire triggers the crime scene to like reveal itself to be like what it actually is.
01:00:13
Speaker
Like the whole, but the the whole room explodes and it's like, Oh, this, it was like an illusion. Like the room the room was like, uh, put together, but then they like triggered the magic and it like reveals that like, Oh, Michael King was being tortured in this chair. It was like magical writing all over the walls.
01:00:30
Speaker
Yeah. Like it's such a MacGuffin thing too, to dreamwalk because they only needed to do that to get in the witches like chant.
01:00:43
Speaker
And well, and to like, it's a cold. I can remember that, that like two minutes, the missing two minutes of his entire life. but So that was, I mean, youre we're talking about Eugene, that scene, like, like burned, burned corpse. Colder was pretty gnarly.
01:01:05
Speaker
And then like that, like that, like stabbing the heart and he's just like, ah, Yeah. Yeah. I mean, ah they should have started in the beginning and then they kind of established that, Hey, this heart and him are tied. So like we built a society based on this heart and him. It should really become like the, the heart and acts or something. Well, they needed that to be like the, um, the mystery cause they needed like this, like, you know, procedural mystery to like ah the investigation of that thing. So they think true they needed to hide, they needed to hide like the one thing that color can't remember.
01:01:39
Speaker
so It's like the big reveal of, oh, they they they had the heart, they kept the heart ah alive. I'm tied to it. Didn't Suicide Squad do this like a year after this?
01:01:52
Speaker
but like with like the enchantress or whatever. Yeah. Right. Am I confusing the two? Cause it was like of a the year of the witches and hearts and and like, it was year and just the year after. Jesus Christ. Like maybe that's, I'm like, wait a minute. This is all too familiar. like Like I said, very safe. Some, some script guy was basically shouting out about common ideas. Like it was just the year of like this.
01:02:18
Speaker
in the two-year spam. Because I know like to make a Hollywood feature, like you basically have to go around shopping this thing. So someone was taking notes. colder is The sequel should have like a like a suicide squad of of other, like, Coler assembles like a team of witches. it' like the It's basically the Fast and Furious team, but they're all which like either witches or like warriors.
01:02:40
Speaker
So this is my new magical family.
01:02:48
Speaker
And say it's all this all just like, like, uh, except for Fast and Furious, like, Tyreese. Ludicrous. I think if they ever do the sequel, it's like, yeah, do you have a team up, have like a new line of witch hunters that like, hey, you know, now we're not, I'm not the last witch hunter. Now we're the last witch hunters. We are last witch hunter. Yeah. and it's It's all, it's ah it's all car based now. It's all car based magic.
01:03:20
Speaker
We got to drive 80 miles an hour for the spell to work. We got to drive 100 miles an hour. This spell, it works if we're jumping from building the building.
01:03:37
Speaker
We got to go into the dreams. We got to drive into the dreams. Yeah, we got drive to drive into the dream world. Roseless is in the car. They drive into the dream world. It just becomes an exception. Yep.
01:03:51
Speaker
All right, any last thoughts? um
01:03:56
Speaker
I mean, it's it's fine. it's it's it's It's a fine like but like if you just want to see Vin Diesel just like do his Vin Diesel thing and and if you're into like urban fantasy. I appreciate it. I appreciate it. It's trying to be like urban fantasy things. There's not a lot of attempts to do that, or is it seems like every couple of years there's an attempt to do it. But it's not as like frequent as you know regular fantasy or sci-fi.
01:04:21
Speaker
Because it's a cool aesthetic of modern kind of like city and then magic stuff happening. So I appreciate that part of it, that it's like trying to do like urban fantasy, even though it's supposed to be based on D&D, which has nothing to do with urban fantasy. But
Closing and Next Week's Tease
01:04:37
Speaker
yeah, I mean, there's there's still a little bit of witching because like, I like that witches basically found modern day jobs and all that. But, you know, I'm just like, I like the world building in a weird way.
01:04:49
Speaker
because it's like, yeah, they still need to have careers and they still need, a I guess like they use magic to trick people, but there's like a regulation where the magic people can only trick like other magic people, not like regular society.
01:05:08
Speaker
it' so It's definitely, i would I would definitely put it above, like we were but we were talking about Babylon ID or like, um would would you put this above or below bloodshot? above blood ah Yeah, definite but that's because I'm a fan of bloodshot, and it's just not done right yeah Because he essentially is the witch hunter again, which is like hey You know you're like the ultimate weapon, but we can't control you he's a mortal He doesn't use a sword this time
01:05:40
Speaker
even I don't even think he does he use guns in flesh. I think he's just like just punches people. I think he does use a gun once, but it's not like what you think. Yeah, it was cool. Awesome. John Woo slow mo like he's supposed to be in the comic. Yeah, good, good, ah like solid, you know, be beat here, Vin Diesel for less. I would say that's fair. I did praise it like it does look good. There are great like Constantine s things if you like the movie Constantine. Yeah, it just doesn't reach that level of like of cool Storytelling like it's just a lot of cool skits. But when you interconnect them, they're just like don't make any like a coherent sense
01:06:25
Speaker
Yeah, the plot the plot is like by the weakest part of it. The mystery is just like, what? Like, even yeah now I'm like the Elijah Wood thing, which I was trying to figure out, like, he's not a mastermind. He's just sort of the last minute, like, hey, I did this. And it's like, well, you're dead. And it's like, oh, that made no impact. Like, no one's sad.
01:06:48
Speaker
But, uh, yeah, so I think that's all the witch hunting we can handle this week. So. ah Come back next week, we're going to be diving into Witness, because Harrison Ford is going to be in Captain America Brave New World in next month, so we'll talk about ah Harrison Ford and Harrison Ford's i don't I don't I don't know where that ranks in like his like filmography. I think it's I think it's fairly well regarded. Yeah, it's sort of what brought him back in the modern day settings that wasn't and like a pulp action hero um or romance because he has that thing where maybe every 10 years he did like a romance movie like s Sabrina. But he was like, what was that term we call like dad action movies where it's like, just like
01:07:41
Speaker
what he did with like, uh, witness, uh, Jack Ryan movies, the one where like he teams up with, like, he has to, uh, he's a fight Brad Pitt. He's a fight. Who is that?
01:07:58
Speaker
that one
01:08:01
Speaker
Here's afforded Brad Pitt. Yeah.
01:08:08
Speaker
The Devil's Own? Yeah man, that's the one I'm thinking. That's a deep cut. I knew movies, you know? Don't don't challenge me about Harrison Ford Dad movies. i'm i yeah I know them. I think this is before right before he did The Fugitive. So it's like his sort of like...
01:08:27
Speaker
I'm a middle-aged guy. I have to prove that, like, I have power in in basically this environment, but it's not a typical detective story. It's just like, can he hang out in like, you know, Amish country and not freak out? Yeah. Fish out of a water story. It's ah it's also it's it's the 40th anniversary of that movie next week. So we're told we're also diving into it. And I used to be on like ah a weekend movie that'd be on TV when I was a kid. Mm hmm. I feel like, yeah, I feel like there's probably like an HBO All the time movie, probably. Yes, so come back for that. um And also head over to the site. We've got our counter for January up. It's the Wolfman. 1941 is the Wolfman because the reimagining came out early this month, even though that was apparently not that great. We watched the truly great classic one. So you can watch it along with us for over the site. And all of our other news, reviews, trailers, all that stuff is up. Everything that's in the comments. Head over to check all that stuff out.
01:09:27
Speaker
And I guess I'm Chris, I'm Zach, and we will see you next week. for more for every action head to w w dot everythingact dot com also find us on facebook at facebook dot com slash everything dot action and follows an act at evi action we're also on instagram and thread at everythinging dot action find more episode of the podcast on apple a podcast spotify or your at podcast app choice and you sure to rate and subscribe