Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Ep 16 :: Mother's Day Encouragement
28 Plays4 days ago
Welcome back! On this Mother's Day weekend, Megan honors her own mother, shares about her mothering journey and encourages those "moms in waiting." Love those around you well! Megan shares the struggle she's had recently and the pull she is feeling to get back to slow living.
Connect with Megan: Instagram or Facebook
Listen to Diggin In on Apple Podcasts , Spotify , Amazon Music
For more go to: MySeedsOfHope.com
Music:
The Success by Keys of Moon
Music promoted by https://www.chosic.com/free-music/all/
Attribution 4.0 International (CC BY 4.0)
Recommended
Transcript
Welcome and Intro
00:00:01
Speaker
Hi friends, welcome to Diggin' In. I'm your host, Megan. This is a place where we discuss the things that really matter in life. We cut through the surface to dive deeper. So pull up a chair because here we're Diggin' In.
00:00:17
Speaker
Welcome, welcome. i'm glad you're here. It's Friday. That means it's time for another episode of Digging In. It's May. it is the Friday before Mother's Day, and I'm so excited to just celebrate what it means to be a mother and um just talk a little bit about ah my motherhood journey and kind of a little bit about the road that led there ah I'm sure we can all think back, at least us ladies. i don't know, guys. Did do you ever think about being a dad when you were younger? i know as a little girl, it was just something that consumed my mind all the time. And I think that that's just part of how God created us. I know that's not the case for every single woman, but I would say it's probably the majority of us.
00:01:04
Speaker
but But anyway, it feels like going back to trading wheels. I haven't actually recorded in a while. I've been putting out episodes, but I did a bunch of batch recording earlier in the month um or earlier, like in April and the end of March, which is great. And to have a bunch in the can, as they say in the biz, I'm Um, and you know, God's timing is always perfect and he knows just what he's doing. I ended up getting sick. My son brought something home from spring break and then my husband got it and then it was my turn and my spring allergies are always the worst. Um, although I'm so thankful I did, ah allergy shots a few years ago and it has been, this has been my best season. I'll say for sure. Just the cold was,
00:01:51
Speaker
i think ah prolonged because of the allergies as well. So anyway, all the information you didn't ask for, but there you have it. um Just jumping in here.
00:02:03
Speaker
I'm going to be honest with you guys. I really have felt this whole imposter syndrome recently. And I know that that definitely is the enemy trying to get a stronghold and, you know, convince me that I don't know what I'm talking about. And, um you know, all the lies that he loves to sell because that's what he does. He's the father of lies. um You know, just the thoughts of like, you don't really have anything to say that's worth listening to. Or what could you possibly have to say that anyone would care about? And so i am just trying to be faithful here, folks. And I'm going to do my best. um But it really has. It's been hard. I'll just be honest with you. um But the Lord is faithful. And the more and more I dig into his word, I'm just so encouraged by it. I actually posted um just now on Instagram.
Longing for Change
00:02:52
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah.
00:03:10
Speaker
But I've just felt this incredible longing and thirst for the Lord recently. And, you know, it's springtime. So I think that there's a lot that goes along with spring and the changing of a new season. And for me, I love being outside, which has always been a hilarious thing with having such bad allergies as a kid and and as an adult. um But really just love tilling the garden soil and weeding. And it's just, it's so satisfying. So when I'm outside, I always feel that closeness with the Lord. And i i know that there's all kinds of science that backs why, you know, if you want to get into the nitty gritty of like the biological, maybe biology, i suppose. It doesn't matter. um You know, what the
00:04:01
Speaker
quote unquote science says about, you know, the energy from the earth, especially when you're outside bare feet, but just connecting with the earth. It's the same reason that you feel amazing when you're in the water and you're at the beach or you're at the lake or you're in a river, um, flowing water, especially anyway, i have just really longed um,
00:04:24
Speaker
slowing down and I'm getting emotional now, even thinking of it. Um, I think I've just reached this place of there's always so much to do and my soul just longs to slow down and i don't know how to make it possible.
00:04:41
Speaker
I have definitely toyed with, you know, doing every other Friday or like two episodes a ah month. Um, just from the standpoint of, not wanting to burn out and wanting to be, you know, ah honoring what God has called me to do in doing this, but also loving and serving my family well. And I struggle with going back and forth with doing all the things I think I always have. Um, you know, I, I don't,
00:05:10
Speaker
want to jump on the whole like ADD, ADHD bandwagon, because I feel like that's just giving people buzzwords to use in a lot of, and in a lot of ways. But um I definitely have always had my hand in a bunch of different things and I enjoy doing a bunch of different things. And I think that it's one of my strong suits, but it definitely can be something that is a a hurdle or a stomach stumbling block as well.
00:05:37
Speaker
Because I can crack i can crack open a few different projects and then not finish any one project, which drives me nuts. I'm sure it drives my family nuts. You know, andd I'd be curious what it – what Noah thinks about it. But ah i just – yeah, going back to the imposter syndrome. And I think, too, – i have ebbs and flows of motherhood.
00:06:02
Speaker
and i and I don't know. i don't know if it's the enemy trying to sneak in and so lies or if it's just, you know, the normal. i am under no, um,
00:06:16
Speaker
ah not understanding. Probably shouldn't have recorded today. My words aren't coming to me. um I'm under no impression that things are always going to be hunky-dory, even if all the things are good. um and I know that. I've learned that in a lot of ways um in life, in different circumstances. But I have felt when I struggle with motherhood myself, when i'm when my son is struggling or when I feel like I'm not um providing enough, of course that comes when i'm supposed to sit down and record an episode about mother's day um so we're just goingnna go with it you know what I'm going to pray right now before we keep going and
00:07:06
Speaker
may god use this in whatever way he wants to lord i am just feeling undone in your presence recently and so Just come before you now. I lift up this recording. I lift up this podcast that will go out to whomever hears it. Maybe it's just Lord to show up as a real, real hot mess instead of just, you know, the social media version of, oh look at me. I'm a hot mess. um God, we can come to you undone. We can come to you imperfect. We can come to you with nothing.
00:07:41
Speaker
You require nothing of us. You just want our heart. And so, God, I just give you my heart. I give this episode, this podcast to you. i just pray that you'll be glorified and magnified in all of it. And I pray that um the hearers of it would be encouraged. Pray whoever is listening right now to a Mother's Day episode and longing to be a mother that you would just... touch her, that you would meet her where she is. God, I just thank you so much um for the many blessings that you have given me in particular. And just this season of life, I feel it is so full and overflowing in so many ways and it's overwhelming.
00:08:23
Speaker
And so I'm just so thankful for that. Just love you, Lord. we pray this in Jesus name. Amen. woo Not what I was planning when I hit record today, guys.
00:08:35
Speaker
ah All right. Well, let's just jump in. I think I wanted this to be kind of like a twofold episode um in the sense of I wanted to express my gratitude for my own mother, but then also share my journey of motherhood. um Not necessarily the nitty gritties of it, but um just kind of my heart, like I said at the beginning as a little girl and and moving forward.
Thanks Mom!
00:09:04
Speaker
So let me start first by saying that I am so incredibly thankful for my mother. i love you, mom. If you're listening to this episode at some point, I'm Happy Mother's Day to you um It's so funny now being an adult and ah just, you know, having obviously parenting myself. But looking back, there are so many different things that I have done in motherhood and the lord and i've in out of frustration. And the Lord has been right there whispering in my ear,
00:09:37
Speaker
reminding me of who I was as a little child, what I needed as a child. Um, and it's just been ironic recently. I've, I've shared with several people. um I feel like I've gotten a glimpse behind the curtain, you know, and I'm parenting myself, which has given me an extra, uh, bit of gratitude for my mother and, um, her parenting me and all that she dealt with. i was a very hard headed, stubborn young lady.
00:10:06
Speaker
And I think that there's so much in that that the Lord wants to use and to, you know, like he made me, he created me perfectly the way that he desired me to be. That doesn't mean that I am perfect. I am so far from it.
00:10:21
Speaker
But the things that I think we struggle with in our personalities, yeah.
00:10:29
Speaker
They're just not necessarily fleshed out in a godly way, if that makes sense. um The strong-headedness that I have is really good when it comes to figuring something out, when it comes to a project that needs done ah doing or um planning something that seems overwhelming or you know just There are a lot of details in this and that and the other. That doggedness that I have to like pursue, or pursue, pursue until I've got the answers or, you know, like that is a good thing. That hardheadedness is good. Like I'm not going to give up.
00:11:05
Speaker
That is as channeling it. who I was created to be in a good way. When I'm stubborn just for stubborn sake, that is not good. And that is not God honoring. And there are so many times in my marriage in particular, and to be honest with you, in my parenting where I have found myself just saying no because I'm mom and I can say no. And I've really been working hard recently, my husband and I both together, to really ask ourselves like,
00:11:33
Speaker
Okay, if I'm going to say no, what is the reason behind it? Is it for safety? Is it for you know nourishment? We have a lot of discussion about food in our house. Is it for you know a greater purpose? Or am I just saying no because it's become a default in my brain? And I want to bless my son as mother. I want to love him lavishly just like our Heavenly Father loves us. And I want to communicate that through saying yes and giving him things that And so just an encouragement. i was talking with a girlfriend the other day and –
00:12:08
Speaker
We were just talking about how you want to give, you want to give and give and give. Like genuinely, that is my heart. But there are times for myself when I get frustrated with the seeming ingratitude. And I'm like, how do you not see that you're given this, that, and the other? and then literally, as I said oh just a moment ago, the Lord is whispering into my ear, Megan, this is how I am with you.
00:12:37
Speaker
And I give in love and love and lavish on you anyway, you know, and not in ah and a condemning way, but in a way of arresting my thoughts in that, I think, you know, and I'm so thankful for those moments to where i can step back and really get a glimpse of the desperate need that I have for the Lord every single day. um And just that left it, left on my own, left to do it on my own. It is not pretty. And I'm not going to be able to love from an abundance. I'm going to be a a loving from a fleshly, you know, trying to muster up um a love that's manufactured and it's not ultimately real.
Faith in Daily Life
00:13:18
Speaker
It's not good. It's not from the Lord. It's not going to be fruitful. It's not going to be abundant. um It'll be lacking. And so that has to start each morning on my knees with the Lord. And I will still fail. I do still fail every single day, every moment it feels like most of the time. um But I can tell you the days that I've
00:13:39
Speaker
start there are much better than the days that I don't start there. um I think I've shared this before, but I heard years and years ago, someone say, if I don't start the best place to start in the morning, and I'm going butcher the quote, but basically if I don't start in the morning on my knees, on my face before the Lord, then the only place there is to go is to fall and stumble and go down. Um, but from there it's to rise up in, in, and walk with the Lord, you know? Um, but if I'm starting out, you know, on my own two feet and trying to do it on my own and muster it on my own, then it's just going to fail and I'm going to fall on my face. So it's best to stay at start on my face than to follow my face. And so let that be an encouragement to you as well. But I'm just so thankful for my mom. There's so many wonderful qualities and um things that I've learned from her over the years. Her work ethic. I definitely get that. My work ethic from her.
00:14:37
Speaker
um She had her own company for oh gosh, 30 plus years. Um, and she grew it into a very large organization with over a hundred employees and did very, very well for herself. And she fought tooth and nail. I mean, she worked and worked and worked. And so I'm thankful for that. That's a good thing. And I want to use those skills that I've learned to again, glorify the Lord and use it for his good. So thank you mom for being,
00:15:08
Speaker
a wonderful mother and teaching me so much. i love you. And, um, I'm just so thankful for you. So now in transitioning to talking about kind of my motherhood journey, it goes back to what I shared in my testimony back on, i think it was episode two part one of my testimony, just being over at my grandparents' house, you know laying in that hammock and looking up through the trees and thinking about you know my future and what that would look like and wanting to be a wife and a mother and and all of that. And, you know, I think as little girls, we we've got dolls and then we've got Barbies and we've got all these things. And I think all of us, maybe not all of us, I'll speak for myself, you know, go through, um i remember going through this phase with my sister. She's three years younger. And i remember wanting to be a teacher. and I was like, I'm going to be her teacher. And I would make up these little, you know, um worksheets for her to do, like spelling sheets. And I couldn't spell myself.
00:16:08
Speaker
But I have distinct memories of being in my mom's room and having her like sit. It was an ottoman that I used, but I made that her desk and I had like papers for her and I was like, okay, you have to get your work done and then I'll grade it. And I mean, she was done with it in like 30 seconds and sent it back to me. I'm like, this is it supposed to be a long school day. Yeah.
00:16:31
Speaker
But there's just something in us as women, I think, that there's a desire to teach and to help others along. At least there is for me. I know that for sure. Acts of service is one of my love languages, and it's how I love others.
00:16:47
Speaker
if I'm bringing you a meal or I'm bringing you flowers or I'm making sourdough for you or whatever it is, you know, if I'm praying for you, it's it's serving others. And I've always loved doing that. Um, and I think that that's true for a lot of us women. Um, and as far as,
00:17:05
Speaker
you know, that desire to be a mom. I remember having doll baby doll babies and, you know, putting them in a little pram and pushing them around. I remember there was one time going to toys r Us R.I.P.
00:17:18
Speaker
um with my Nana and I we were going to shop for toys, but I wanted to take my stroller with my baby. And know i remember holding that little baby in the car and just wanting to nurture and love on a baby, you know. um So fast forward, you know, I've shared this in my testimony and the um meeting Adam and talking about how many kids we would have and all that good stuff to then finding out that I likely would not
00:17:51
Speaker
have children of my own. um And i just will pause there and just say, if you're in that place, my heart goes out to you. It is so hard to have such a deep longing, especially I know for myself, the longing was just this, like, even before i knew the Lord personally, i knew that he created me to be a mom. And so when we were married and it was a few years in and we decided,
00:18:21
Speaker
that we were ready to start a family. To feel that that was, you know, for all intents and purposes, stripped from my hands, even though I didn't have motherhood, it felt like it was this promise that the Lord had given me. And then it was taken away.
00:18:39
Speaker
it was really, really hard.
Lessons from Hannah
00:18:42
Speaker
um And so if you're there and you're in that place right now of longing, i just wanted to read 1 Samuel It's the story of Hannah, I'm sure.
00:18:55
Speaker
um Perhaps you haven't ever heard of it, but um Hannah in the Bible, she so longed to be a mom. And I tried debating whether how far to go back, but Basically, her husband was Elkanah and um they were married and she longed for a child and she couldn't have children at first. um So 1 Samuel 1, verse 8, it says, this is Elkanah talking to Hannah, his wife. Why are you crying, Hannah?
00:19:32
Speaker
Why aren't you eating? Why be downhearted just because you can have no children? You have me. Isn't it better than having 10 sons? And I just, you know, even reading that now too, um, oh, it doesn't matter what you say, you know, to someone who's longing for a child and they're not being given it. Um, you know, that's one of the things that I've really, I looked into it years ago and I haven't read um up on it much recently, but I know that there is a tradition in the Jewish culture called sitting Shiva. And I think I've mentioned it on here before, but they're just really good at sitting silently and crying silently. with someone or letting someone cry and just being there, not trying to offer any words of wisdom, not trying to pull them out of it and make them smile or make them laugh. And I talked about this a little bit with Jessica, um back in, oh gosh, episode four or so. Um, just about how, when there's a a loss, you know, and again, not that I had necessarily had motherhood, but a desire Hannah in the Bible had the desire to be a mother. And there's that loss of it. Sometimes we just have to sit with the Lord and weep and mourn. And that's okay. um you know, I'm always reminded Jesus wept and he was fully God and yet fully man.
00:21:00
Speaker
So back to Hannah and our story. The next verse, verse nine, it says, once after a sacrificial meal at Shiloh, Hannah got up and went to pray.
00:21:11
Speaker
Eli, the priest was sitting at the customary place beside the entrance of the tabernacle. Hannah was in deep anguish, crying bitterly as she prayed so the Lord.
00:21:22
Speaker
And she made a vow. o lord of heaven's armies if you will look upon my sorrow and answer my prayer and give me a son then i will give him back to you he will be yours for his entire lifetime and as a sign that he has been dedicated to the lord his hair will never be cut There's a lot of cultural significance in that as far as not cutting his hair. So it was just a sign for her to say, you know, I will dedicate him to you and he his hair will never be cut. um And I thought that it was interesting, too, and just reading it, you know, there was so much, again, cultural significance in having a son, not just, ah you know, a child. Obviously, being barren had a lot um of of cultural stigma that went with it, but she specifically asked for a son. And so and down below after that, ah verse 12, as she was praying to the Lord, Eli watched her, seeing her lips moving, but hearing no sound, he thought she had been drinking. Must you come here drunk, he demanded.
00:22:26
Speaker
Throw away your wine. Oh, no, sir, she replied. i have not been drinking wine or anything strong, but I am very discouraged and I am pouring my heart out to the Lord.
00:22:38
Speaker
Don't think I am wicked, for I have been praying out of great anguish and sorrow. And so it just made me think about, you know, those times where you are just, you're crying and I'm sure i'm not the only one that's ever been there, but you're just crying so much that eventually nothing comes out You know, you're just, you open your mouth and there's just, there are no words. And so again, going back to that whole idea of sitting with someone in that moment and just allowing them to be there and not feeling the need to pull them out of it. Not to say that you don't encourage them, but just recognizing. And I think that we can only do that if we're going into it, seeking the Lord and asking him, okay, I want to serve this person. Lord, what does that look like? Give me wisdom. Give me eyes. Give me a heart to know what that looks like in that moment. And it's going to be different from case to case for sure. Um, but I just love that she was, you know, Eli, the priest thought that she was drunk because she was clearly, you know, a little bit of a hot mess, we might say. um but she pleaded with him and said, you know, don't think that I'm, I'm wicked. That's, that's not it at all. Um, and so Eli responds to her and he says, in that case, go in peace. May the God of Israel grant the request you have asked of him. And she says, oh, thank you, sir.
00:23:59
Speaker
Then she went back and began to eat again, and she was no longer sad. And so it was like the Lord was speaking through elon Eli and giving her this promise that he will provide, and he always does. and i want to say this, especially to those women who are in waiting for motherhood, just because...
00:24:18
Speaker
you have a peace and you've walked away and you're at peace with the Lord doesn't mean that he's necessarily going to bring fruit to your womb in the way that we would hope, you know, God does always answer his prayers. And, um, my pastor, pastor Gary always says, you know, that he typically will answer in three ways, a yes, a no, and a not yet. Um, so it might just be a not yet, but it also could be a no. Um, and ironically, you know, well, not ironically, because the Lord's timing is always perfect. But, um, this past Sunday at church, we had a guest speaker. it was pastor Al Pittman from Colorado. And he just, it was an incredible sermon. It was so convicting. Um, it was about prayer and he just walked through the Lord's prayer, um ah piece by piece and,
00:25:05
Speaker
gave a lot of ah really great insight, which is always so incredible, incredible to me. you know, the, the word is alive and active and it, it's not that it changes our perspective changes depending on what we're going through in life at the time. And so, um, he was just talking about prayer and i have so learned this in my life. And I know that I will. And again and again and again, until the Lord calls me home. But, um you know, the whole idea behind prayer, one of the things that he said was, you know, well, why why pray? If God knows everything, he knows my heart, he knows my needs, why pray and ask him? And his example was, you know, just like a child, just like you having a child, you want your child to come and ask you for whatever it might be. A cookie was the example that he used. You don't want them rummaging through the pantry looking for a cookie. You want them to come and ask you for the cookie because it's a sign of trust and it's a sign of um
00:26:01
Speaker
relationship building and love. And so i just loved that. And, and, you know, God is not a genie in a bottle. We don't pray and out pops, you know, what we think is an answer to prayer on the other side. um But we do still pray. And in that praying, God aligns our heart with his, which is just such a beautiful process because in that praying and guys, I don't know why I'm so emotional today, but through in and through that praying, he really does begin to change our heart. And I think that, you know, just as an aside, one of the things i was convicted of this weekend is, you know, praying for my enemy. And, you know, I don't sit around thinking who's my enemy, who's on my enemies list, you know, but that word is not just meaning like, you know, your arch rival or your nemesis, although it does mean that.
00:26:54
Speaker
um Who is someone that I'm not in unity with is what I was thinking. And and there are plenty, you know, there are people in my ah geographical sphere that um I'm not necessarily – it's not that we're we were friends or anything like that, just acquaintances that we don't necessarily get along with um quite a few that are nonbelievers.
00:27:18
Speaker
And so I just was convicted in in that, you know, like there have been seasons in my life that I have been more diligent about praying for people, especially when I would pass them driving or pass them walking – see them at a social gathering or at a grocery store or whatever it may be. um There have been seasons in my life where I'll see that person and then I'm like, well i don't talk you know, I always think of Marv in Home Alone maybe it was Harry. was Harry. And he, it was after he blowtorched his head and he was like, red are lord and it you know, he's like gritting his teeth. He's so angry. That would be my response to seeing those people.
00:28:00
Speaker
But the Lord like slowly changes your heart and and we're called to pray for them. And so it's really hard to hate someone, really hard to um be angry with someone when you're praying for them. And I've actually had to use that tact in my marriage as well when we were going through our stuff.
00:28:18
Speaker
Um, not that I would say that I hated my husband. I hated what had happened. Um, and in my anger, i had a lot that I was dealing with, but in prayer, the Lord changed my heart to align it with his will. So back to the context of mother's day and applying that here, you're praying, you're, you're praying, we're praying, I'm praying. And then you're trusting the Lord that whatever the outcome is, he is good. And it is whatever his will is.
00:28:47
Speaker
align our hearts with his. um And there's so much peace in that. So back to our scripture. Okay. So it says the entire family got up early the next morning and went to worship the Lord once more.
00:29:02
Speaker
Then they returned home to Rama. When Elkanah slept with Hannah, the Lord remembered her plea and in due time, she gave birth to a son.
00:29:13
Speaker
She named him Samuel. For she said, I asked. For she said, i asked the Lord for him.
00:29:23
Speaker
And I just, oof, that's hitting hard. You know, i asked the Lord for a son. um i asked the Lord for a child. But I truly believed in my heart of hearts even before I was pregnant that it was going to be a boy. Like first I was going to absolutely have a child and that it was going to be a boy. And so I can just so identify with this. Yeah.
00:29:45
Speaker
And so it continues the next year Elkanah and his family went on their annual trip to offer a sacrifice to the Lord, but Hannah did not go. She told her husband, wait until the boy is weaned. Then I will take him to the tabernacle and leave him there with the Lord permanently.
00:30:02
Speaker
Elkanah said, whatever you think is best, stay here for now. May the Lord help you keep your promise. So she stayed home and nursed the boy until he was weaned. Can you even imagine like, you know, the Lord gave me this child and I'm going to go and take him once he's weaned and leave him at the tabernacle permanently. And then like actually following through with it. Well, she does. Spoiler alert.
00:30:27
Speaker
Verse 24, when the child was weaned, Hannah took him to the tabernacle in Shiloh. They brought along a three-year-old bull for the sacrifice and a basket of flour with and some wine. After sacrificing the bull, they brought the boy to Eli. Sir, do you remember me? Hannah asked. I am the woman who stood here several years ago praying to the Lord.
00:30:50
Speaker
I asked the Lord to give me this boy and he has granted my request. Now I am giving him to the Lord. And he will belong to the Lord his whole life. And they worshiped the Lord there.
00:31:04
Speaker
And then Hannah has this long prayer of praise after that. And it just always makes me think when I read that scripture, it always makes me think, am I, when i get frustrated or have hard times in motherhood, am I offering up my mothering of my child to the Lord? And I think often when I get wrapped around the axle, often it's me trying to do it in my own strength and not trusting the Lord with his blessing that he's given me. so
00:31:41
Speaker
So that is Hannah in the Bible and her story, and there's much more to it, but um just an encouragement for sure for me. and I remember when there were times that we were waiting and i Again, like I said, I knew in my heart that I was going to be a mom.
00:32:02
Speaker
I didn't know what that looked like. Would it be adoption? Would it be, you know, um using fertility treatments? um I didn't know what that would look like, but I just knew i really did. And um it was interesting because then years after we had Noah, you know, we tried and tried. um And now it makes me, it does make me angry.
Infertility and the health connection
00:32:26
Speaker
And i think it's a righteous anger.
00:32:28
Speaker
But now knowing what I know about health and wellness and all of that, I think that if I would have known some of that sooner, if someone in the medical world would have helped me understand that nutrition has so much to do and so much influence and sway on our bodies and our hormones and how they function, that we could have healed my body um in order to have another child. Because, um you know, I...
00:32:59
Speaker
I don't think I've gone into detail in sharing um you know exactly what it was that caused my infertility, but I was diagnosed – did mention that I was diagnosed with premature ovarian failure, which basically means that I was going through menopause at the age of 21,
00:33:18
Speaker
instead of, you know, around 50 or so or beyond, you know, I think that honestly we should be not having menopause until much later in life, but because of everything in the environment what we put in our bodies, um we have, you know, uh, um,
00:33:35
Speaker
made the aging process quicker, unfortunately. But – so I was diagnosed with that and then we had Noah, our miracle child is what I always say. And then, you know, my cycles were never – mean before when I was a teenager, they were never – exactly regular. They were regular in frequency, but they were not like 28 days on the dot. I knew was going to start my period. It would be 25 or 32. It would fluctuate all over the place. But Um, in gosh, I guess it was back in like 2015 or so.
00:34:14
Speaker
was really when like I went a long time without a cycle and then I would have like a little bit, and then none, you know, um, for, for some more time. And so I was like, okay, I guess that's it. Like I'm through menopause and that was before, I mean, I just turned 40 this year. So That was in my mid thirties. Um, and then after we moved into this house, so and post 2023, I'm trying to think when it was exactly, it might've been last summer.
00:34:48
Speaker
It was the summer before, but what was last year? 2015. think it was 2024. Um, Um, I was like really healthy and just like, you know, making sure everything in our environment and our food, all of it was very clean. And I was going through a lot of detoxing and, um, just ridding my body of a lot of, uh, built up toxins. But then also other piece of it that as I was sharing at the beginning of this struggle with is the the slowing down and how that really does um have an effect on your body as well.
00:35:25
Speaker
So I was doing the nutrition side of it, but not necessarily the stress, like alleviating stress part of it. But I did end up having a cycle again, which was nuts. Because i remember at that point, it had been like seven years since I had had a cycle. And i was, i went through this whole like experience, if you will, or journey of emotions, um my first thought was like, I was angry.
00:35:55
Speaker
I was angry at the Lord because I was like, really God, now Like now we're going to do this again? you know, like obviously if he blessed us with a child, I would be, mean, I would probably be in shock. It might be hard for me to wrap my head around like what that means, but ultimately i would be so over the moon.
00:36:18
Speaker
But I was, I was angry because I was like, Noah has always wanted a sibling, you know, and we talked about adoption for a while and... We were just never on the same page. And um I know that, again, the Lord's timing is always perfect. And so that was not his ah journey for us. But like, okay, if I were to have gotten pregnant two years ago, we would have had a baby, you know, nine months. Okay, let's call it a year for easy math. So 2025, Noah's going to be 13 when this child comes into the world. Like, what? What? You know, i was just really was angry. um
00:36:58
Speaker
And then I felt guilty for being angry, you know, and it was just one of those times in my life of wrestling with the Lord. it just Just really, it brought it back oh all kinds of emotion that I struggled with. um You know, what back when I found out that we probably wouldn't have our own child. So it was hard. It was really, really hard.
00:37:20
Speaker
But all that to say, i just wanted to again, tie a bow on it and and just say, like, if you are struggling with infertility, my plea with you is do not go down the the route of fertility treatments first.
00:37:41
Speaker
I'll just say that. Don't go there first. I think there's definitely some wrestling with the Lord. But more than anything, I think that you really need
00:37:54
Speaker
to take a look at your health and see where it is. And, you know, i think there was a long time where um I thought to myself, like, I garden, we eat relatively healthy, like what's the problem? But still, i like the concept of health food or or um yeah, health foods is so um gosh, I don't even know what the right word is but
00:38:27
Speaker
I think it's marketing, right? Like there's so much marketing. And so we see things that say all natural or um low fat, like please don't ever buy anything low fat ever again. It is awful for you. You're taking out the one of the most important parts of whatever it may be, low fat yogurt, low fat milk, milk P.S. That just means it's going to be higher in sugar content. But your body needs those fats. And it's it's a whole cycle. It's a whole a symbiotic relationship, if you will.
00:39:03
Speaker
And this is one of those things where I've been like, okay, Lord, do I go through and like break down like health stuff? Because I just feel like there's so many resources out there of people who really know their stuff. Or maybe I have someone on that can really talk in depth more about that. But, you know, everything's...
00:39:23
Speaker
cyclical. It all rolls together. You know, if you're not feeling well, then you're not going to get want to get up early and exercise or exercise in general. You're going to be more sedentary. Being more sedentary makes you want to snack. Snacking on things, typically you're not going to the fridge and like, ooh, I think I'll have some strawberries and an orange and some cashews. no you're going to go and like, if you're anything like me, you're going to grab the bag of popcorn in the in the pantry whatever. you know, one of my go-tos, I love pasta. And if I'm not feeling well, or I'm just like feeling sluggish and tired, butter noodles. I grew up on it. Like, Oh, so good. Noah was not feeling well this week.
00:40:04
Speaker
Was it this week? It doesn't matter. And he was like, can I have some butter noodles? I made myself butter noodles last week. I will say I've gotten better sources of pasta now and it's definitely healthier version of butter noodles, but it's grass-fed butter and protein pasta, you know, which is, ah I think the one that I use is a pea protein. um But even just regular organic um pasta that's made with organic flour and water,
00:40:36
Speaker
There's nothing wrong with that. That is good stuff. um That's a healthy food. It does need to be but balanced with protein or else you're just going to have that carb spike. But anyway, see, here I am already going into talking about health stuff. All this to say, if you're struggling with infertility,
00:40:51
Speaker
Please, please, please seek out someone and it's not going to be a general practice doctor, unfortunately. Someone who has some nutritional background that can help you identify what in your diet is not working for you. um And there's just, it's like, it's a, it's, it's like a ah machine, you know, and I don't, I don't know anything about machines. I was just outside mowing. um So I'll use the mower as an example. And I always say this to ah to Noah when he is not wanting to eat what we're trying to provide for him and he would prefer to eat the junk. It's like, dude, if you go to the car or you go to the gas, the ah mower,
00:41:27
Speaker
and you open up the gas can a tank and you pour sand in, what do you think is going to happen to that engine? like It's going to corrode. It's definitely not going to start. It's not going to run, and you're going to break the machine. Our body is the same way. If we're putting junk in that we are breaking this machine and not that I think, and this is where I feel like the whole health craze can go,
00:41:51
Speaker
from one pendulum to the other, we are not to make an idol out of our bodies. We are not to make an idol out of food or out of our diet or anything like that. But we are to take care of our temple because if we our our body as a temple is unto the Lord. We house the Holy Spirit. We have God inside of us.
00:42:11
Speaker
Sorry, my nose is dripping. um we Our body as a temple And we have the Lord. And so we're supposed to take care of it so that we can do his work, so we can do service in his name. And so we have to be cognizant of what we're putting into our bodies. We have to be aware. We need to make good choices. And also, pretty sure last time I checked, gluttony is a sin. you know um's There's a book that I wanted to read. Would anyone be interested in a book club? Yeah.
00:42:42
Speaker
Maybe that's one thing we could do once a month or once a quarter or something is read a book together and have and then have a book club. That would be fun. um But there's a book that I have.
00:42:53
Speaker
I have stacks of books, my friends, um that I want to read. It's just having the time to sit and read is a struggle. Um, but I have this book and it's called Respectable Sins and I can't remember who it's by, but it basically is like, you know, what are, what are the sins that we overlook in the church? And gluttony for sure can be one of them. Um, you know, it's like you go to a, we I remember growing up, there was always the fellowship hall at my dad's parents, Lutheran church, my granny or my Nana and Papa.
00:43:26
Speaker
And every Sunday after church, we go down to the fellowship hall and have cookies and lemonade. Oh, man. Thinking about that now, is like packaged cookies and lemonade, like sugar with some sugar to wash it down. I just can't even. um But all that to say, gluttony is not good.
00:43:47
Speaker
Neither is making our body an idol. That's not good. It's making something an idol. um And it's not putting the Lord first. So it's all got to be a balance. It's all got to be done in balance. So, all right. I feel like I've rambled enough today.
00:44:04
Speaker
Feeling all over the place, sticking with this. um Would love your feedback. If you've got any questions, if there's anything that I touched on that you're like, oh, yeah, let's talk about that more. Reach out to me. um All of the ways to get in touch with me are in the show notes. You can follow me on Instagram. Digging In Podcast.
00:44:24
Speaker
And also, if you haven't already, or if you have and it's time to do it again, go ahead and give us, ah I say us, give me. That sounds so weird. little I hate it. um If this is helpful, share it, like it, subscribe, follow, leave a five-star review, a comment, something. um It is helpful and I do appreciate it. I do read all of them and I'm very thankful for Um, just the encouragement because I know that it's, it's the Lord using you to bless me. So you can see it in that way. Uh, but anyway, folks, all right. I hope you have an awesome Friday. Have a wonderful mother's day. Be sure to reach out to your mama if she's still around and show her some love. oh my goodness. One little anecdotal story before I sign off. When I first had Noah,
00:45:12
Speaker
I remember going out. It was like when I was starting to venture out and it was like, oh, this is nice. But at the same time, I literally felt like I had a string tied to my heart and it was like tied to his heart. And the further that I got away, the more my heart ached.
00:45:27
Speaker
to be back with him. but noah But Adam was taking care of Noah and I was like, I'm going to run to Lowe's. I don't even know what I was doing at Lowe's. Anyway, it doesn't matter. I just remember it was Lowe's because I remember sitting at the light and calling my mother-in-law and I was bawling and I was like, I just wanted to say that the next time you see Adam and you just want to hold on to him and hug him and kiss him, you do it.
00:45:52
Speaker
Because my heart, like I was starting to understand and just be able to really identify with the fact that like, oh my goodness, there's this thing and that you've carried with you and ah now it's living outside of you, but you love it so much. And it's just, it was funny. It was a sweet moment. And I always get a laugh out of that when I remember it, as does she. yeah. Anyway, love those around you well, people.
00:46:18
Speaker
um We are not given the benefit of knowing we've got tomorrow. And so the Lord will come again and he will call us home and he'll do that barring his return.
00:46:30
Speaker
We don't know when. So. use today to love on someone. Um, maybe in particular, just reach out to somebody that you have been at odds with or have not had unity with and encourage, uh, just send a note to say, Hey, and I'm thinking about you and I love you and I'm praying for you. um It really does. You don't know how how far that goes. I can't tell you how many times I've sent notes like that to people um just as an encouragement or like, hey, I'm thinking of you. i don't know why. I don't know what's going on with you, but the Lord had you on my heart, and so I'm praying for you, and it has been amazing.
00:47:05
Speaker
ah nearly every time people will respond with, you had no idea, but this is what I'm struggling with, or this happened yesterday and I'm really, you know, whatever. um All that to say, just do it.
00:47:18
Speaker
The Lord will use it. He'll bless whomever he needs to or wants to with it. And with that, to God be the glory in it all because he does use it all. And i am so thankful for that. So praise him. All right, y'all. I'll see you next week.