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59 - Uncanny X-Men #190-192, Annual #8 - Kulan Gath?
109 Plays6 days ago
Buckle up, listeners, because these issues get weird! Join us as we join the X-Men in medieval Manhattan, campfires, adjacent properties, and even fairytale outer space! We've got bizarre villains, dragons, aliens, and hacky-sacks! Tune in!
Topics Discussed:
Rogue is Green. Wilfred Brimley argues for mutant rights. Xavier/Caliban. Warlock looks like Peter Parker. "Ensorcelment". We wouldn't know if we were medieval times'd. "I'll Slurp Ya!" Understanding Medieval English. Boob cones. WHERE THE FUCK IS CYPHER!? Why is there a plug here? Kurt's tickle party-forward leadership. Bringing a dragon to an airport. Worthy Foes. "Your planet beat Galactus?" Psi-lock. Claremont wishes he wrote Star Wars. "And I'm the ultra powerful spaceship!" The origin of Diamond White Queen. Lockheed's fuck planet. Pokemon the Movie ass ending.
TIMESTAMPS
1:40 - Pat's Email Corner
13:25 - What Scared You Most As A Child? (Accidental Segment)
15:30 - Where Did We Leave The X-Men?
18:30 - Uncanny X-Men #190 “An Age Undreamed Of”
40:50 - Uncanny X-Men #191 "Raiders of the Lost Temple!"
1:02:00 - Uncanny X-Men #192 "Fun ‘n’ Games!"
1:22:04 - Uncanny X-Men Annual #8 "The Adventures of Lockheed the Space Dragon and His Pet Girl Kitty"
1:41:35 - Final Thoughts
1:46:20 - Pat's Deals n' Steals
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Transcript
Introduction and Podcast Setup
00:00:02
Speaker
I'm Trish Tobey with WARC reporting to you live from Westchester, New York, where there appears to be some sort of mutant menace on the loose.
00:00:39
Speaker
Hey everybody, I'm Matt Aucamp. And I'm Pat Reber. And say it with us, Abe. well Welcome to Mutant Menace.
Recording Schedule and Road Trip Plans
00:00:48
Speaker
Patrick. Hey, Matt.
00:00:51
Speaker
How are you on this crisp late April evening, just two days before I take my road trip? Oh, I'm doing all right, Matt. I'll tell you, I'm a little tired.
00:01:03
Speaker
lot of recording lately. I know. We're doing it again tomorrow. We'll have an episode recorded one day before you go on your road trip. Yeah, we've been um burning the midnight comics just to keep you you guys in podcast.
Email Corner with 'Weapon Jason'
00:01:22
Speaker
well Yeah, yeah. Anything else tiring you out, buddy? Uh...
00:01:34
Speaker
Oh, it doesn't matter, Matt, because it is time. i wanted to know. For Pat's email corner, let's hop right into it. We're going to start. As always, he's always the first one to write in. Weapon Jason has a few quick hits for us. He says, hey, Pat, tell Matt New York coming out of the 70s was still shorthanded in media as the cesspool of crime and predators. And Marvel was definitely not immune to that presentation. Of course, there's a reason. You like to say in Rudy Giuliani hadn't murdered all the homeless people yet.
00:02:08
Speaker
Basically, nothing about the presentation here feels out of sync with or running against the current of the time. I suspect y'all are aware of this, but the past is a foreign country. And living through this time and reading Cloak and Dagger, it felt more progressive at the time than it does today.
Marvel's NYC Portrayal and Comic Book Narratives
00:02:24
Speaker
Yeah, I can see that. It's just I i even i know that I know that's how New York was represented. But even at its worst, it was not like any any store you went into. The back room was full of dead kids. Yeah, yeah it wasn't the Warriors. yeah But but yeah, I do understand that. I wonder who knows, maybe Bill Mantla would have grown out of it.
00:02:51
Speaker
And he is he is also right that it's a different world of information at that time. So there's certain sensitivities that they haven't developed that we're always going to mention, obviously. But right it is ah it's always helpful for Weapon Jason to give us a little context of the time.
00:03:09
Speaker
And I still really doubt there was ever a time that Black Kid's red cloak being this, like, energy vulture who manipulated his white girlfriend into staying with him by, you know, dubious moral means and didn't say, ah Right. Yeah, yeah.
00:03:31
Speaker
There's, uh, there's... A lack of information doesn't solve it for the people who that sucks for. yeah Yeah. So even if even if we can de-problematize the depiction of New York because of the times, it's it's just really hard to de-problematize the depiction of Cloak.
00:03:54
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. i He goes on, I am not going to complain about the equal opportunity sex appeal going on here. Byrne was not shy about putting Peter in underwear or Logan in just body hair. yeah And Bill constantly having Sam go about shirtless feels better than if it was just the girls on the team.
00:04:13
Speaker
Also, like the interplay here between Sam and Danny is it feels like the kind of banter that would come from living, learning, and training together for
Marvel Crisis Protocol Game Discussion
00:04:20
Speaker
months. I, i yeah, absolutely. I like the...
00:04:24
Speaker
I like the flirty banter. I also like that it doesn't seem to develop into much. Also, i here's some helpful information, Matt. The name of the theory you were thinking of was Methusian.
00:04:37
Speaker
For population growth and ah the availability of resources. Pat! Damn it! I said Markovian and it was Methusian!
00:04:49
Speaker
Damn it. That. I said Markovian and it was Methusian. Damn it. You were thinking of the actor, John Markovich.
00:05:00
Speaker
ah He wishes you well on your road trip. He wishes me well sitting at home. i go places.
00:05:07
Speaker
And then he includes his own Marvel Crisis Protocol team since Vio brought it up in recent episode. Is everyone playing this game? I guess. I don't know what this is, but he calls it the Winter Guard. And who do we see here, Matt? I see... Is it the Winter Guard? It's Red Guardian.
00:05:26
Speaker
Yeah. Dark Star. Yeah. or ah Ursa Major. Bear. Just a bear. ah And the Crimson Dynamo. Crimson Dynamo.
00:05:40
Speaker
Nice. Nice team. Vio, if you're listening, tell... Nice team you're a friggin' commie. Tell Weapon Jason what you think of it. Also, is if anybody else out there is playing Marvel Crisis Protocol, please tell us.
Listener Emails and Apologies
00:05:54
Speaker
Oh, please. Oh, please. Please. Please. please Fucking... and Guys, destroy our inbox with your Marvel Crisis teams.
00:06:06
Speaker
All right, we got to keep moving, Matt. We're going to move on to the guy who always emails a second. Email Michael. his episode 57 responses.
00:06:17
Speaker
He says, tell Pat that I also don't find Cloak or Dagger interesting and that it's okay for you to be sorry about discussing Dagger's pubic hair. Don't let Matt stop you from being sorry about things.
00:06:31
Speaker
Says, hoping for better issues ahead. Email Michael. Yeah. I mean, I was just saying that it wasn't your fault. You didn't think of her pubic hair in a vacuum. and they they they They did kind of force your your reptile brain there.
00:06:49
Speaker
That's true. I still would like to apologize for even talking about it.
00:06:56
Speaker
Up next, his name was Dusk. What's his name now? Not sure. Hi, Pat. Tell Matt that I would gladly drown in pilk to make sure that Angel drowned in mayo. Hard to agree. Just as you're gulping down pilk into your lungs, you're like, at least the world is safe from that boring guy.
00:07:27
Speaker
ah that he signs off still no nickname, Dusk. Now... so I was approached in person about this. We have long made it our policy that if you give yourself a nickname, like Magic the Dog or Ink Master, or his name was Dusk, you don't get a nickname.
Road Trip Snacks and Coffee Habits
00:07:47
Speaker
don't get two. Yeah. It's not fair. and You know what? And his name is Dusk gets a ah an ongoing, admittedly bad, running joke.
00:08:01
Speaker
And listen, we know your real name. Keep it up and we'll just – we'll refer to you by your Christian name. but if that's Yeah, that'll be your nickname.
00:08:13
Speaker
All right. One more, Matt. Episode 57, non-X-Men related email from Mikey2Males. More like Mikey1Male. He says, hi, Pat. Tell Matt I said road trip. Hell yeah. I love road trips and I am so stoked for him. That was all in caps if that part was really loud. Yes.
00:08:32
Speaker
What are you all's top road trip snacks? Personally, i think that nothing beats something that's handheld and doesn't leave your hands feeling greasy that causes the wheel to be gross and grimy. Cheers. Thank two males.
00:08:45
Speaker
Okay, I'm not smart enough to do that. So I just I get stuff that's gross and grimy. Generally, my my road trip snack is ah Wawa. Like you just stop at a Wawa before you leave Pennsylvania and then you got some Wawa all the way. But Pat fucking I got a cool thing here. You tell everybody your favorite road trip snack while i interesting i'll get I go get my cool thing.
00:09:06
Speaker
but You're not even going to be listening. I know you just tell them and I'll listen. OK. OK. Go ahead and take your headphones off. I i guess I like beef jerky bold style Chex mix. Matt's a jerk.
00:09:22
Speaker
Hey, I heard the end of that. Okay, so I went to a discount grocery store to get bunch of road trip foods because I to myself three What the fuck are you holding? I know. So look at this. Pat, describe what you're seeing.
00:09:37
Speaker
A garbage bag full of snacks. Well, it's a clear bag. But yeah, it's a BB's snack box. It's actually a bag for $3.99. And it has, like, what? What would you say? Roughly 20 different individual snack packs. Yeah, yeah. Like, bags of, it looks like chips and popcorns. Is there is there sweet stuff in there?
00:10:02
Speaker
I don't know. So, what I figured was... I will reach into, and you can't see all of them. It is just a ah series of random, like, personal, like, so yeah, snack bag, like snack sized bags. There's. That's wild. Some ah party mix. There's some chips. There's some ah Andy Capps hot fries. And um what I figure is every day on my road trip, what I'll do is I'll reach into this bag and pull out something random and see what get. A snack.
00:10:35
Speaker
Yeah, and then I'd just have a snack. It took ah a while to find a bag without pork rinds in it, and there could still be pork rinds in the middle. So that'll be a real bummer um if I pull out some pork rinds, because then I just don't get a snack that day.
00:10:49
Speaker
But, yeah. I'll tell you... That bag would be gone in a day for me. you You have a much better snack resistance than I do. Well, hey, I haven't started the road trip yet, so.
00:11:06
Speaker
That's true. We'll find out. How about you, Pat? Favorite road trip snack? ah Well, I told the listeners. You just told them I was a jerk. No, I was saying that ah beef jerky. I'm a big beef jerky guy i love an iced tea, ah like a sweetened iced tea, and then bold flavor Chex Mix.
00:11:28
Speaker
Because i drink decaf coffee. I also tend to get coffee at any time of the day that I'm i'm taking ah off on the road. like Most of the cool stuff in my life is about an hour away. I'm an hour from Lancaster. I'm an hour from Philly.
00:11:44
Speaker
I'm like two hours from the beach where I live currently. Yeah. Three hours from a good beach. But if if I'm headed on a road trip, I will stop and get an extra large coffee so I can be drinking it most of the way there.
00:11:59
Speaker
Yeah, I do love a coffee on a road trip. Very large. And you just, even when it's like room temperature, you're still sipping on it. You're just keep, you keep going. Although when you leave the car and get back in if the coffee's not still hot, then it really sucks. Like even if you leave the car, just to the,
00:12:17
Speaker
I thought you were insulting me. I thought you were saying to me, oh, you just keep going. that was the That was the end of the conversation. Even if you leave to just go to the bathroom and you come back in. So like you're drinking lukewarm coffee.
00:12:32
Speaker
And you're fine with it. Because you've been drinking it since it was hot. and you're You're absolutely fine with it. This is road trip coffee. But you park your car. Get out. You go to the bathroom. You come back in your car. You sit down. You grab your coffee. It's lukewarm.
00:12:44
Speaker
It's ugh.
00:12:47
Speaker
Oh, I'm not that way. although I'm ah i'm a coffee freak. iu I'm drinking caffeinated coffee right now at 9 o'clock at night.
00:13:05
Speaker
Oh, Pat. I guess that was the end of Pat's email corner. I guess so. hope nobody quick emails you real fast before we...
Childhood Fears and Personal Stories
00:13:15
Speaker
But I do have a big, big, big, big question for you.
00:13:20
Speaker
o What do you got, Matt? What scared you most as a child? What scared me most as a child? I was reading the wrong note. had a pillow that was shaped like Mickey Mouse, and I had a nightmare one night that it came to life and tried to kill me. And then for the rest of my childhood, I was terrified of this Mickey Mouse pillow.
00:13:42
Speaker
Oh, Pat, i i met what scared you was a child I really appreciate you sharing this, but I actually read the wrong cue card. What I meant to say was, did you do anything X-Men related this week?
00:13:53
Speaker
so Let's just roll with this. What is...
00:13:58
Speaker
ah Behind my house was a big, big woods, um which I loved to play in during the day. But for some reason, even all the way out up until my... bet even if I went back now, my parents don't live in that house anymore. They moved out about three years ago. But if I went back now and I looked towards that woods in the pitch black of night, I would be i would get just to the bone chills.
00:14:23
Speaker
o What's in that woods? You can't be in the woods at night. That's crazy. yeah It'd probably be nothing. It's just deer. When I was a kid, I had... um it wasn't even a nightmare. It was just an intrusive thought, I guess, um of if I open the curtains in my room or the blinds, there'll be just a guy face face and hands pressed against the window. ah
00:14:54
Speaker
And now if I think about that, Even still, like I'm a little freaked out. like Yeah, that's that's unsettling. i Just to think about. It could be there. It could be there. I could open these windows next to me right now and there could be a guy pressed against them staring checking my
X-Men Storylines and Character Arcs
00:15:14
Speaker
windows now.
00:15:14
Speaker
um All right, so where we left the X-Men was back in, what was it, three episodes ago?
00:15:27
Speaker
I think so, yeah. i would It was in 56. Yeah, yeah. Where Storm went chasing after... Rogue ran away. Rogue had gotten framed by the Hellfire Club for killing a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. and as such, Val Cooper went and bought a mutant depowering gun that Forge made out of ROM tech.
00:15:51
Speaker
Right. Right. And the government meant to use it on Rogue, but Storm jumped in the lane. Storm lost her powers. Yeah. And then eventually found out that it was Forge who made the gun, and they got in a big fight. After falling in love with him. Yeah, and she punched him in the rain. It was real good punch, too. Yeah, yeah. um Great, great run of issues.
00:16:17
Speaker
Also, Kitty Pryde and Wolverine, they're in Japan still. Right? Going through some life changes of their own. Doing a little growing up. what's what's ah What's up with everyone else, Pat?
00:16:30
Speaker
ah They're depressed. They are not sure why they are still the X-Men. Right. They had a big conversation about it. It seems like they're going to keep going even with Storm leaving because she no longer has powers.
00:16:48
Speaker
Right. Last we saw... Storm was leaving on a big boat to go to Africa. Right. and Magma and Rachel Summers, who came from the future to the past, um and now is sad because her mom, it turns out her mom, Phoenix, is actually dead.
00:17:11
Speaker
Jean Grey. Oh. Yeah.
00:17:16
Speaker
They fought Selene. And then this dude, our favorite guy, Jaime Rodriguez, he found a necklace that keeps talking to him. And then he got stabbed to death in a subway. and Presumably by somebody else that was attracted to the necklace, right?
00:17:33
Speaker
Maybe. But then the necklace was like, ha, Kulan Goth is free. And then the whole subway caught fire. Yeah, that's true. but else is who else Who else is depressed? Colossus is depressed because of Secret Wars, just like the rest of us.
00:17:53
Speaker
Rogue's depressed about all the Carol Danvers stuff. and Nightcrawler's depressed about... The X-Men aren't his butt. The direction of the X-Men. yeah. yeah yeah Everybody's in a funk.
00:18:07
Speaker
And Professor X is depressed because he can walk, but some writers forget that he can walk and put him back in a wheelchair. Yeah, yeah. That's got to be upsetting.
00:18:19
Speaker
So, I imagine... look They set it up for a while. This is going to be a big, epic story, I bet, Pat, with Kulan Gath. Yeah, Kulan Gath. He's been trapped in a necklace for who knows how long. who Yeah, what's his big plan? Why don't you tell me about it?
00:18:36
Speaker
Yeah, let's start with Uncanny X-Men number 190 in age undreamed of. I don't want to. It should be undreamt, I think. I don't want to.
00:18:48
Speaker
Yeah, buto buckle up, folks. These are going to be... Tough. It's kind of like, I don't know, we'll we'll have to speculate on this later, but it is like a lot...
00:19:01
Speaker
A lot of story condensed into two issues. Yeah, yeah. Like a whole, whole lot. And it doesn't all make sense. And it's the same as that story. If you if you've been listening to Mutant Menace for a while, that story ah where war the character Warlock, not the current Warlock, but an old guy named Warlock who's actually Merlin, um...
00:19:25
Speaker
He executed a plan very similar to the one we're about to yeah talk about here. Yes. Yeah. We know, Matt. I said buckle up. That's what buckle up means. It means that this is the same as Merlin's thing.
00:19:41
Speaker
Chris Claremont, writer, John Romita Jr. and Dan Green, artists, Glynis Ween, colorist, Tom Orszakowski, letterer, and no centi editor, and Jim Pooper, editor-in-chief. Release date... You're better than that. November
Kulan Gath's Manhattan and Heroic Battles
00:19:55
Speaker
6th, 1984. Cover date,
00:19:57
Speaker
february nineteen eighty five We start with a bunch of establishing shots of New York City being occupied by the military before cutting to the island of Manhattan encased in a wall of green fire.
00:20:11
Speaker
What? And completely transformed into a medieval fairy tale world. Oh. Then to Washington, D.C., where Val Cooper explains the situation.
00:20:24
Speaker
The wall popped up the day before, and everything that passes through it or is contained within it becomes old-timey. guns into sores cards Guns into swords, cars into horses, etc.
00:20:37
Speaker
Inside of Manhattan, a wizard named Kulan Gath rules, using transformed Morlocks as his own personal army and practicing mass human sacrifices on children. Kulonkoth rules!
00:20:50
Speaker
Up until the human sacrifices on children part, yeah this was identical to the setup of WandaVision, right? but I guess you're right you're absolutely right.
00:21:02
Speaker
But also, human sacrifices on children doesn't really come back into play ever. we don't come back to that. It's just one line. this is like, and he kills everybody. Yes. That is children. that Primarily children.
00:21:21
Speaker
Everyone within Manhattan also loses the memory that things were ever different. They think the entire world is medieval. yeah Cooper shows the Security Council a lineup of heroes trapped within, including Captain America, Wasp, Star Fox, Vision, Scarlet Witch, Colossus, Nightcrawler, Storm, and Rogue, who have all been transformed into D&D versions of themselves.
00:21:44
Speaker
And Rogue is just like green. and Yeah, for some reason, Rogue is green. We'll talk about that a couple more times, but we never get an explanation. Then she notes there's Spider-Man, who is the only person in all of Manhattan that seems unaffected by the spell, which is also just not true.
00:22:02
Speaker
But I know, I know. it's like we immediately find every time somebody is like the only person not affected as Spider-Man. It almost like immediately cuts to somebody else. Someone else is like and me.
00:22:19
Speaker
The men at the table have a brief argument about racism against mutants before we cut to the situation inside the wall. Yeah, there's like a, okay, it's like Wilford Brimley.
00:22:30
Speaker
Sure. Arguing with, um I don't know, some buzz cut dude. And the buzz cut dude's like, you know, mutants are a menace and they, you know, they're with their powers, they could enslave the race.
00:22:44
Speaker
And then Wilford Brimley is like, You sound exactly like the guys I fought in World War II when I liberated Buchenwald. Yeah, yeah.
00:22:55
Speaker
Honestly, the part that got me here was the government guy that was basically saying like, well... Half these people that we're relying on to save us are mutants.
00:23:08
Speaker
Should we even try? What if we just let Manhattan eat itself? Right. And then a big part of our mutant problem is solved.
00:23:19
Speaker
Right. because And Rogue is one of the people that are like, how dare you make her a hero? She just killed a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. Yeah, yeah. And... Yeah. Wilford Brimley. He's he's got our he's got he's got the the X-Men. He's got our eternally. Thank you, General Wilford Brimley.
00:23:41
Speaker
Storm wakes up aboard her big wooden galleon. that That's awesome. When the Vizier's guard boards to arrest her, led by Sunder and Callisto of the Morlocks. Have we met Sunder before this, by the way? Yeah, yeah. Okay, okay, okay.
00:23:55
Speaker
When they try to forge a slave collar around her neck, a fight breaks out, leading Storm and Callisto in a one-on-one fight atop the main mast. Very cool. Very cool.
00:24:07
Speaker
Her belly gets slashed and Storm remembers who she is, tackling Callisto into the water. The current pulled them outside the wall of flame as her ship burns behind her.
00:24:19
Speaker
Cut to Kulan Gath's throne room where he taunts a mutated Doctor Strange about the master spell Gath cast, turning all of Manhattan into a twisted medieval fantasy realm.
00:24:31
Speaker
I love Dungeons and Dragons. I thought I'd play with all of you. It's so There's no... Remember, yeah, Warlock's plan was like, I have the... Sorry, well he was Merlin, so he was like, i have the... the technology of the modern age and when all the medieval look to me as a god Kulan Gath is like I wanted to be old yeah I liked it better when it was older and I lost candies for a penny I'll also take over the world but but unrelated i want the whole world to be medieval
00:25:16
Speaker
He's such a dork. He's the biggest. He's one of the dorkiest villains we've ever seen. Doctor Strange's mouth is missing and his fingers are twisty ropes preventing the Sorcerer Supreme from casting any spells.
00:25:32
Speaker
Kulangath shows him his newest creation, x Xavier Caliban. x Xavier slash Caliban. ah Yeah, we don't know if they pronounce the slash.
00:25:43
Speaker
Yeah, this we couldn't get a better name. It's like when everybody was talking about that game 100x resist, resist, and no one knew. Do you pronounce the X or not? It's this. Oh, yeah, yeah. Do you pronounce the slash? Do you say Xavier Slash Caliban or Xavier Caliban?
00:26:01
Speaker
Xavier Kids? Couldn't they have just gone with, like... Xalaban? Xalaban, yeah. Yeah! A chimera of Professor x Xavier and Caliban, if you haven't figured that out.
00:26:14
Speaker
fused together and fully under Kulan Gat's control. He also reveals that Spider-Man was intentionally left out of the spell so that he will understand what's happening and thus suffer more than anyone else.
00:26:28
Speaker
ah yeah well Okay. Also, why does he have to combine Xavier Caliban? Why does he even do that? Uh, so... I thought this made sense. It's creating like an internal cerebro for x Xavier since Caliban's power is to sense and track mutants. Because we will find out that they still sort of think independently.
00:26:54
Speaker
So it was almost like, so my mind, it was cool on goth being like, I think they'd look cool if they were one person. ah But you're Okay. I see what you're saying. So like if they're sharing powers, it creates a big cerebra.
00:27:09
Speaker
Yeah. Cerebro. Sorry. I said Cerebra like i was I had a weird accent. Cerebra, like the lady version. But there is a character called Cerebra later. so oh okay.
00:27:21
Speaker
He further intends to capture and enslave all the other heroes of Manhattan in a grand attempt to gain revenge on Spidey. Whoa. What did Spider-Man do to this guy?
00:27:34
Speaker
Apparently this his first appearance was in a Spider-Man comic a couple of years ago. okay. Yeah, which we're not. That makes a little more sense. but We're not going to read. We don't follow Spider-Man. Yeah, not I did not know that. I'm not following Spider-Man. Yeah, I don't.
00:27:48
Speaker
don't. Don't care about Kulan goth. The first of his hero prisoners, he reveals, will be the new mutants who are brought out in chains. No, our boys and girls. When he begins transforming them into evil minions, Warlock is confused. The spell isn't working on him. And he doesn't know what's happening to his friends. Warlock who looks exactly like Peter Parker in this scene, by the way. Yeah, he's disguised himself as a human and it's just Peter Parker. It's just Peter Parker. What like 100% handsome photographer, Peter Parker.
00:28:27
Speaker
ah So he breaks out and tries to free them. However, they are transformed so quickly that all he can do is flee. Gath demands Xavier Caliban help him. find and chase down warlock but the x xavier half refuses so gath casts another spell forcing x xavier to sub submit that was worth three panels that was we ah
00:28:53
Speaker
it's also we should also describe xavier caliban because it is it is a wrinkly oh yeah white lump of a man Caliban's face is in his stomach and Xavier's face is in his shoulders like yeah yeah and he has four arms and he looks like a mummy he looks like he's wrapped up like a mummy I think that's the wrinkles but it still it looks like yes taped up yeah and they both have glowing red eyes Real weird. Real weird and grotesque, especially compared to the cartoony drawings of medieval stuff that we're getting all over the place. Right, right.
00:29:36
Speaker
Meanwhile, Selene, also unaffected, watches from the shadows. Now that sounds like three people unaffected. Yeah, there's a lot of them.
00:29:48
Speaker
Selene calls what Kulangath is doing ensorcellment.
00:29:54
Speaker
Okay.
00:29:57
Speaker
She teleports herself to an alleyway where Magma and Rachel Summers are being accosted by Morlock guards. Selene sucks the life out of the guards and reveals herself to the girls.
00:30:08
Speaker
Yeah, remember, remember the Morlocks are the first people he transformed to be his like army. Yeah, so they're like his his grunts, is yeah his little guys that go out and do fucked up things. There's little guys.
00:30:23
Speaker
every Every big villain needs little guys. Outside the spell in Hoboken, Storm and Callisto were in captivity after escaping Manhattan. Only in Hoboken.
00:30:36
Speaker
suddenly Suddenly, Selene appears to them using Rachel's telepathy. She explains that the whole thing is a spell by one of her old foes and that if they don't stop him soon, the spell will become permanent and spread across the earth. huh The whole earth will be medieval. Oh, no. Has that ever happened before? All of our guns will be swords and all of our cars will be horses.
00:31:01
Speaker
Pat. Holy shit, Pat. We wouldn't know if it had happened before. That's true. We would have thought it was just normal. What if the medieval times that we know every time you go into that restaurant?
00:31:15
Speaker
<unk>s Kulan Gath has got a hold of you.
00:31:21
Speaker
Selene asks them to cross back into New York, telling them that they will revert to medieval guys again, but they will remember the gist of this conversation. Like you won't remember that the world wasn't always all medieval. Like it'll all keep half the same thing will happen. But you'll be like, hey, I talked to this girl, Selene, and she said I have to be cool on goth.
00:31:42
Speaker
real Yeah, yeah. ah Storm breaks them out of detention and the two flee into the Morlock tunnels, which extend across the river. This is new Morlock lore. they're yeah Their underground tunnels extend all the way to Hoboken, New Jersey.
00:32:01
Speaker
i guess we could have expected is assumed that because of the subways, but... As they pass into the boundaries of the spell and transform, they are ambushed by a battalion of Morlock soldiers.
00:32:13
Speaker
who Oh... Inside Manhattan, Spider-Man is being chased by the new mutants. Spider-Man versus all the new mutants. Who wins?
00:32:24
Speaker
Spider-Man. The new mutants are too inexperienced. Okay. But they got a lot of power, though. They do, but I think they just don't know how to leverage it like he does. Yeah, you're right. He flees into a tavern to take a stand where the Avengers just so happen to be drinking. Spider-Man versus all the Avengers. Who wins?
00:32:41
Speaker
I think Spider-Man. Spider-Man versus the Justice League. It depends on which Avengers line. with the ones The one with Star Fox in it. The Spider-Man. Spider-Man versus the Justice League.
00:32:56
Speaker
I'll give that to the Justice League. Spider-Man versus the X-Men. wo Now there's a fight I'd like to see. We keep not seeing it. they keep they keep They keep taunting us with it and then we don't see it.
00:33:11
Speaker
One day, one day, fight to the death. He like punches one guy and then everyone's like, hey, wait. Or he gets his mind wiped.
00:33:22
Speaker
All right, all right, right, right. The Avengers are drinking in a tavern. cool Avengers are drinking in a tavern, and they all look old-timey, too. Yeah. He also learns that he's the only one who still speaks English. the mutants The mutants succeed in capturing him. What language are they speaking? I don't know. I mean, even if it's like... I guess if it's like medieval English... In Manhattan.
00:33:45
Speaker
Most of it you wouldn't understand. But you would... No, you would get a basic like – it would be weird. It would be confusing, but you would still – It depends if we're talking about like Shakespearean English where you would understand and itd be confusing. But if it's like Beowulf era – It would. it That sounds that sounds ah old English sounds a lot more like German than it does like English. You could still get basic concepts across. It wouldn't be completely foreign. If you knew you weren't talking the same language and you were like really slowed down. Like if you've ever tried to read Beowulf untranslated.
00:34:29
Speaker
You are so fucking lost, man. I do it all the time. ah
00:34:37
Speaker
The mutants succeed in capturing him just as Danny Moonstar discovers another foe, a blonde girl sitting alone by the fire. My greatest nemesis! Captain America and the Avengers stand in between the girl and the mutants who are now backed up by an army of Morlocks and a fight breaks out.
00:34:56
Speaker
Nightcrawler and Rogue, who is green for some reason still, jump into the fight on the side of the good guys, but so do Colossus and Sunder, who burst through the wall on the side of the bad.
00:35:06
Speaker
oh no! no boy.
00:35:12
Speaker
Ileana Rasputin suddenly springs up from the corner, slashing Colossus with her soul sword. Oh, blonde girl. This frees him from Kulan Gat's slave spell, Kulan.
00:35:23
Speaker
Also not, but not somehow, but not the rest of the spell. Yeah. Yeah. He still thinks it's he's in medieval times. Yeah, exactly.
00:35:35
Speaker
Also, suddenly Selene appears using the floor to grab all the Morlock soldiers, seeing themselves defeated. The new mutants, along with Sunder, teleport away with Spider-Man still captive.
00:35:46
Speaker
How do they do that? i I imagine in medieval, everyone could do that. Yeah. Yeah. The stones aren't as strong back then.
00:35:58
Speaker
Magic and Colossus reunite and the heroes rejoice as Selene reveals herself, Rachel and Magma and attempts to recruit the heroes to her side against Kulan Gath. Kulan Gath then appears as a big floating head and slurps Selene up and tells the heroes he will be merciful to them if they surrender themselves to him. Really weird. Really weird. Yeah. I don't know. I guess he can do that.
00:36:25
Speaker
You can slurp one person at a time. you can be a big head and slurp a person. Minutes later, his Mordok army... wish could slurp you all! I'll slurp you.
00:36:38
Speaker
ah Look out! Minutes later, his Mordok army... Like a fucking Zelda bad guy. Like a Zelda boss. Like, watch out, he'll slurp you! Stay away from him and aim for his big eye!
00:36:55
Speaker
Minutes later, his Morlock Arby smashes through the door only to find the tavern empty. Cut to the Morlock tunnels where the heroes all sit around a fire and share information. No one trusts Selene, but they know they will need her to help beat Kulan Gath.
00:37:13
Speaker
Rachel and Amara are unsure of what side they'll take if it comes down to it between Selene and the heroes, but still agree to join the heroes. Now, they are all Avengers.
00:37:26
Speaker
To be continued. ah Would you just count this among... Like, when somebody says name everybody who was ever a part of the Avengers, would you count everybody on this on this list?
00:37:41
Speaker
No. Okay. Because it's in an X-Men comic. And because it never happened. Which we'll find out later. Oops, spoilers! i You asked me what I thought. Yeah.
00:37:54
Speaker
I... I don't think I expected it all to happen this quickly. And I, I kind of like the idea that they're like, let's not waste any time. Let's just jump right into the bad guys winning. How do we get out of this?
00:38:10
Speaker
But then they waste a lot of our time. Right. Here's the thing that we should tell the listeners is, uh, there was a mistake that, And we read issue 191 first, both of us.
00:38:27
Speaker
And we were both so confused about what does this just is this just it just start skier? What the fuck? Then when we discovered the mistake and went back and read 190, it was like, OK, this didn't really add that much. Yeah, it didn't really help. Yeah, there's just there's just so much going on. And a lot of it is ah a lot of it is exposition.
00:38:50
Speaker
And it's, I think it's kind of, it's like tiring to read. The one detail that you don't get in 191, you would have missed it if you skipped 190 entirely.
00:39:00
Speaker
Yeah. Is that a bunch of children are dead. ah But like the mysteries are still there. Like why is rogue green? We don't know. They don't tell us that. Yeah. Yeah.
00:39:12
Speaker
What is, why why does turning things medieval make him take over the world? We don't know. They don't tell us that.
00:39:23
Speaker
Well, there's one thing. Here's a question burning in my sick, twisted little mind, Matt.
00:39:35
Speaker
Spider-Man makes a reference to the Conan the Barbarian movie. Okay. Which is based on the Conan the Barbarian comics which are produced by Marvel, is... What's this movie he's talking about? Is it based on the in-universe comics about the real person?
Uncanny X-Men #191 and Heroic Struggles
00:39:55
Speaker
I think so, right? Because... Wait. The in-universe... Oh! Is Conan in the Marvel Universe? Was Conan a real character in Spider-Man's past?
00:40:09
Speaker
I would assume so. Like if Spider-Man went back to old speaking of Beowulf times, he would be able to meet Conan. I'm pretty sure. Yeah. i I mean, this is, I, I don't have a reason why that wouldn't be true, but mutant menace pod at gmail.com. Matt, I can see you Google and stop.
00:40:30
Speaker
I'm not Googling. Okay. Let's ah let's let the listeners glue us in.
00:40:38
Speaker
All right, Matt, I'm just going to keep rolling. I am going to, I'm just going to read. You lost your chance. You shouldn't have gotten up and gone and gotten that bag of snacks. you I cooed the podcast while you were 20 minutes ago.
00:40:54
Speaker
Yeah. I'm going to talk to you about uncanny X-Men number one 91 Raiders of the Lost Temple. That's not what that's called. Chris Claremont, writer, John Romita Jr. and Dan Green, artists, to Tom Orzakowski, letterer, Glynis Ween, colorist, Ian Nocenti, editor, and Jim Buber, editor-in-chief.
00:41:16
Speaker
I'm not better than that. Release date, December 1984, cover date, 1985.
00:41:23
Speaker
The issue opens on a bloody, broken Spider-Man hanging spread eagle from shackles in front of Kulan Gath's court. He tells Spider-Man about his master spell and that because of it, no one is coming to help him.
00:41:37
Speaker
He turns to Selene, also in captivity, and does the same to her as he did to Doctor Strange. Removes her mouth and turns her hands into tentacles. Damn. It is That is another fear. I think ever since seeing the Matrix of just my mouth disappearing.
00:41:56
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Yeah. I think it's fun. i mean, Spider-Man's very Spider-Man here. He keeps making quips, even though he's like bleeding and dying and completely at the mercy of this guy. Yeah, it's very like he he's cool and gaff even comments on it, right? Like, oh, look at how brave you are still making quips, but everything's hopeless.
00:42:20
Speaker
But that is, I mean, but he is really fucking brave is the thing. Like, yeah, you're not. It's true. um Yeah. You're not. ah yeah You're not. Proving him wrong in any way. Cool on goth. You're actually. I think you're just more into his confidence. skin Yeah. ah Sunder and Mirage. That's Danny Moonstart.
00:42:43
Speaker
That's the report that the rebels from the tavern have escaped. And for their sins, the two are turned to stone. In this scene, by the way, Danny has like metal. She has got like one of those metal.
00:42:55
Speaker
what What you would assume is like one of those metal bras that you see in some like. That like Madonna wears. Yeah, but. um in in a couple scenes, and this being one of them, it becomes clear it is not they're not like attached in a bra sort of way. She just has like metal cones screwed onto her boobs that move independently of each other.
00:43:24
Speaker
It's strange. It's a strange outfit. I'm sure it was a hit with the teens. ah Once again, Xavier slash Caliban, we're still going with that, I guess. i could Tell him they cannot locate the rebels with their combined powers. So he turns his minions back to flesh and Sundar posits that the only place the rebels could be hiding is the Morlock tunnels.
00:43:47
Speaker
who Meanwhile, the heroes search Manhattan Public Library. They see his attempt they see it as a temple for survivors. Storm almost takes a spear to the head, but Captain America deflects it at the last moment. Nightcrawler teleports to the source and brings back the chief archivist of the temple, a young woman named Erlin.
00:44:10
Speaker
its It's just like the librarian who works there. Fucking what a D and D ass name. Aralyn. Come on That she apparently already had before all of Manhattan turned medieval. Yeah. Cause nobody else's names are different. i Her name is just Aralyn.
00:44:28
Speaker
And later they give her a last name and it's like a really mundane one. They're like Miss Thompson, but it's like, Oh, your name is Aralyn Thompson. Yeah. Yeah. They try to convince her that they're on the same side, but Errolin refuses to believe, given that Callisto, former chief of Kulan Gath's guard, is with them.
00:44:47
Speaker
Yeah, it's reasonable. Before they can respond, Gath's army bursts in. Evil Scarlet Witch binds Colossus in a spell quickly broken by magic soul sword, freeing him to face the evil vision in one-on-one combat.
00:45:03
Speaker
Rogue, meanwhile, takes on the rest of the army with a sword, her skin made of green crystal. Evil cannonball rockets in, knocking her back into one of the evil soldiers. As they touch, her gem form transfers to the soldier, and she turns human while another stabs her in the back.
00:45:22
Speaker
She falls over dead. She dies. but And they do, they call it her gem form. Yeah. and like We don't know why this happened, but... Once she touches somebody, it transfers to that person instead.
00:45:37
Speaker
I mean, i I'm, yeah, that's... We're not going to dig deeper because she's dead now. Another close-up on the Danny situation here. Just, like, i just want I just want to, like, not making it up. It's not a bra. It's two cones. Screw it on. Yeah, yeah. They're not providing support in any way. This is just... No.
00:45:58
Speaker
Um... So Rogue falls over dead, activating Storm, who lashes out in a frenzy of violence. Her attack allows the others to escape the Morlock tunnel, leaving Storm behind.
00:46:11
Speaker
But Warlock is there, and he grabs her, rocketing the two of them up into the sky. Evil Wolfsbane tries to hold on, but falls shortly after takeoff. The results of the battle are that Rogue is dead and Star Fox and the Wasp are captured, then transformed to evil minions by Kulan Gath. Evil Cannonball is dead. The rest of the heroes and Erowyn escape to the Morlock tunnels.
00:46:37
Speaker
there's ah There's a scene here where Dany is like laying over rain. Rain dies. Oh, yeah. Rain and Cannonball. Yeah. And she... Danny is heartbroken and she says, Rain, my darling Rain.
00:46:56
Speaker
And I wonder, you know, in other versions of this, there and and as we've talked about on the show before, would be more interesting, there's like a sapphic context between, like a subtext between the two.
00:47:10
Speaker
Was that always supposed to be there and we've just... it's just so sub the text that this is the first time we've seen it represented in dialogue.
00:47:22
Speaker
Maybe I'm choosing to believe or it just exists. That there is a romantic bond between the two, even if they never explore it. Yeah. Yeah.
00:47:34
Speaker
Yeah. I, on a lighter note, Nightcrawler's talking about the situation. Star Fox and the Wasp are married, which i i don't know.
00:47:47
Speaker
Did that happen Avengers? I don't know. I'm not following the Avengers. But Kurt refers to them as Star Fox and his wife. She has a name, Kurt.
00:48:00
Speaker
And she's been famous way longer than that dude has. Come She was an original Avenger. Exactly. Granted, he's like an eternal god kind of man, so maybe what I just said isn't true, but for our sake, she's been famous longer. Yeah, yeah.
00:48:17
Speaker
Above the city, Warlock tries to communicate with Storm despite speaking different languages and sharing different memories of the world. Somehow, though, he gets through and Storm begins to remember.
00:48:29
Speaker
Magic, Nightcrawler, and Callisto take Erelyn deep into the Morlock tunnels where they're ambushed by evil Sunder and some evil new mutants. Magic's Soul Sword cuts through the new mutants, freeing Sunspot, Mirage, that's Danny Moonstar, remember, and Wolfsbane from Kulan Gat's control, though somehow not the medieval illusion Wait.
00:48:51
Speaker
How did Wolfsbane get back? She was dead and now she's here again. don't she died. They she's close to death. ah And then Kulongath was like, my powers are already healing her. Okay. All right. So she wasn't dead. She was. Oh, yeah. She's dying, but not dead. Yeah. Yeah.
00:49:12
Speaker
You're right. You're right. You're right. While fighting for her life, Callisto kills evil Sunder. Meanwhile, Cap, Colossus, Magma, and Rachel use Rachel's telepathy to sneak past the guards and break into Kulan Gat's temple and attempt to free Selene.
00:49:29
Speaker
Using a Jedi mind.
00:49:33
Speaker
They're like, we have to get the captain of the guard. It's awfully late. Why wake him? And then they repeat, it's awfully late. Why wake him? Yeah, yeah. It's a fun moment. Let us pass. You can pass. Very, very cute.
00:49:45
Speaker
I mean, so clearly, and everything in this episode will point to this. It's just so clear that Chris Claremont wished he wrote Star Wars. And everything he wrote after Star Wars, he had Star Wars in his head. He... i you i can appreciate...
00:50:10
Speaker
That instead of becoming bitter and jealous, he just uses the X-Men to pay homage over and over and over again. Over and over and over and over and over. ah So they make it all the way to the throne room where they find a crucified Spider-Man and decide to just leave him there.
00:50:28
Speaker
Just before they too are ambushed, Evil Vision literally shatters Colossus. Oh, fuck. Yeah, that is. And himself in the process. He shatters himself in the process. Yeah. He takes both of them off the board. who so he lowers his density so he can put his fist through Colossus, then thickens it back up and both of them explode from the the pressure. Wow.
00:50:55
Speaker
Evil Star Fox begins to mind control Rachel and Magma. He is the most handsome man in the world. That's his power now. Yeah. Callisto's group bursts into the throne room to join the fight, but Kulan Gath transforms them all into statues. Why didn't he just do that to begin with? Why didn't he do that in the first place? Yeah, if that's been your power this whole time.
00:51:18
Speaker
Watching this, Spider-Man decides he can't take any more and pulls up against the nails in his hands. With excruciating pain, he shatters the cross, holding him up. We're about like five, maybe seven years away from...
00:51:33
Speaker
the really dark gritty Spider-Man era, which is not good. This is clearly inspiring some people here between like the, the amount of pain that he's clearly in and then tearing himself off of a cross. Like yeah Jesus style.
00:51:55
Speaker
and Jesus didn't tear himself off, but he should have. wonder I wonder why he didn't. Yeah, that would have solved a lot of problems. Man. Probably caused a lot more, of though. but and And in this like completely torn, ripped, bloody Spider-Man outfit, right? like We see that a lot in the 90s. Yeah, yeah. With it like half ripped open and fluids dropping down off of it. You see that more often in the 90s than you see his costume being normal.
00:52:23
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. If you cover half of every panel in webs, you've got a Todd McFarlane comic here. With excruciating pain, Spider-Man shatters the cross holding him up. He tries to alert the other heroes to the fact that all of Kulan Gath's power resides in the amulet around his neck.
00:52:42
Speaker
But no one can understand his language and Kulan Gath kills Spider-Man. All right. I can't fucking take it anymore, man. Okay. The warlock scene with Storm. This fucking scene right here where nobody can under...
00:52:56
Speaker
And we're about to get another Warlock scene with Storm. Maybe I'll, okay, I'll i'll yell about it in a minute after you are talk about this next paragraph. But, unbeknownst to anyone, Storm and Warlock are watching in the rafters above.
00:53:09
Speaker
Warlock translates Spider-Man's sentiments to Storm, and the two leap from the ceiling to snatch the amulet. Okay, okay. This is where I'll interrupt. Fucking, where is Cypher?
00:53:22
Speaker
Oh my God. i would have been the perfect opportunity to be like, here is why Cypher. Here's why Doug Ramsey is a hero. He's here. He can understand everybody. Maybe he can even understand the context of what's going on. Right? Right. Like you, you put Cypher in here and have him be the only person who can help bridge this gap.
00:53:49
Speaker
And you've you've taught people for the first time why you invented Cypher. Because at this point, people are like, Cypher, he translates languages. What the fuck? Why do I care? Yeah, who cares?
00:54:01
Speaker
This would be the moment. And he's nowhere to be seen? So, yes, you're absolutely right. But we also – like, we get another group shot of the new mutants later this episode, and he's also not there. Doug Ramsey is. Jesus Christ. So, what did they – did they just send him back to Emma Frost's Academy?
00:54:25
Speaker
Were they like, okay, thanks for your help dealing with all of this. You're a mutant, by the way. Here's your power. All your friends are mutants, too. But –
00:54:36
Speaker
We're not keeping you around. No, because go back to massachusetts essence remember he was in that annual. oh yeah. On the team. Yeah.
00:54:46
Speaker
Hey. Hey. Where's Doug Ramsey? Where's Doug Ramsey? This would have been fucking to to to have a scene that is about translation and the difficulty of translation and not put cipher. He drives me bit crazy.
00:55:03
Speaker
Could have been so cool. When the victory is in sight, suddenly the necklace flies away into the hands of magma. Selene on the dais bursts into flames, a volcano erupting below the throne and engulfing warlock in Kulan Gath. Selene can't do that.
00:55:20
Speaker
The person they thought was magma transforms into the real Selene and dons the necklace. Why did this have to be? Yeah, I don't think he needed to do like a a switch there. it it it it Number one, it didn't feel like, oh, number two, it it didn't help anybody's cause.
00:55:41
Speaker
Yeah. Nothing changed. I didn't, you know what it does is it removes one long haired blonde person from the battlefield, which even it was getting married really confusing. Even Captain America is a long haired blonde in this issue. Yeah. There were lot of closeups.
00:56:00
Speaker
ah The slaver spell is broken and somehow magic is able to summon and restore Dr. Strange. this is he this is This is wild though. We should pause here and say like even if they fix it, right? Even if they take everybody out of medieval.
00:56:23
Speaker
There's like seven people and ah I presume hundreds of children dead. Dead. just dead. Like ah yeah our favorite characters are are fucking dead. Yeah.
00:56:35
Speaker
And we're just going to move forward like this. Wow.
00:56:40
Speaker
So ah Dr. Strange grabs Magic's head and uses their combined mystical energies to completely reverse time. oh never mind. yeah Transported back to his sanctum sanctorum, he explains to Professor X, Storm, and Captain America that the events of the past day never happened at all. oh No one is transformed. No one is dead. And no one knows it happened, save the heroes in the room and the librarian.
00:57:07
Speaker
Errol and. Anyway, it's done Errol and Williams. They say he says it. Errol and Williams. He says Miss Williams. Anyway, it's done now, but Storm wonders if by messing with the time stream, they've created for themselves an even worse fate.
00:57:25
Speaker
They haven't. Epilogue. we're back in the end We're back at the end of X-Men number 189, where a mugger sneaks up on Jaime Rodriguez watching his watchboy in the subway.
00:57:38
Speaker
Jaime's still alive! Our favorite guy! He's back. However... This time, instead of Jamie's death, a third figure intervenes. A pink, time-displaced robot calling itself Nimrod.
00:57:52
Speaker
The necklace falls harmlessly into the mud beside the train tracks, and Nimrod helps Jamie to his feet. Who's Jamie? To be continued. Jaime to his feet. To be continued. ah hu So, the conclusion that I'm coming to here
00:58:12
Speaker
Is they reversed time. Yes. And in order to to not set off the events that just took place, a robot from the future had to be called back and shoot the guy that was about to stab Jaime Rodriguez and knock the necklace out of his hand.
00:58:34
Speaker
Yeah. So I... i Right. And I know this um nim or Nimrod is an important figure in the future of the X-Men. I'll say it like this.
00:58:45
Speaker
Yeah. Doctor Strange and Storm and what they they talk about how they don't know what started this. Right. They don't know why this happened. Sure. They managed to turn back time, but they don't know why. How Kulan Gath got free
X-Men #192 and Mysterious Mansion Adventures
00:59:00
Speaker
or. Right. Right.
00:59:01
Speaker
yeah I think what they're trying to say here is that Nimrod was trying to go back to some time. Nimrod was traveling through time. and Maybe we'll learn more about why he was traveling through time later. But this sure the fact that there was a time displacement thing pulled him out of the like time stream as he was moving.
00:59:26
Speaker
Right. And put him... here Why in the subway next to Jaime Rodriguez? I have no idea. But that's what I'm saying is like, that's what the spell was. The spell is we're going to reverse time. And you I don't think Dr. Strange makes this decision. The spell itself says...
00:59:45
Speaker
We'll have to change one event that caused all of this. So it grabs Nimrod and says, can you come to 1985 and shoot this one mugger before you will continue whatever journey you're on here? I see what you're saying. I will say, though, I think the implication is that Nimrod was already time traveling.
01:00:08
Speaker
Like imagine Nimrod was in that what you see sometimes like that that big ah swirling tunnel with the clocks flying. Yeah. Yeah. stuff But i I don't think that that invalidates. Yeah. I don't think so either. Yeah. Yeah. But just a funny way to intervene is to have like a world ending threat pop up and shoot a mugger. Yeah.
01:00:36
Speaker
Yeah. well At least Jaime Rodriguez, our favorite guy, is back. And walk boy his Walkboy seems fine, too. His Watchman. His Watchman, sorry.
01:00:49
Speaker
Walkboy is the... No, I'm thinking of a Talkboy. That's a Talkboy. Walkman. Walkman is for cassettes. Yeah. Discman is for CDs. Yeah. Talkboy is for recording. Watchman. Is for Home Alone 2.
01:01:05
Speaker
is for Watchman is for TV. Watching TV. Watchman is for TV. So there is no Walkboy. Maybe it's a watch. Because they already used Watchman. Maybe it's one of the new warriors.
01:01:17
Speaker
walk boy. I'm walk boy. i have the power to walk wherever I want, whenever I want, as much forever. that's actually That would be pretty useful at some point in um in certain environments. Walk upside down, walk underwater. oh my god. in the On the moon. well I was thinking of just like walking.
01:01:39
Speaker
But yeah, you're right. you could You could probably get creative with that. Alright, I think we've squeezed all the juice out of this lemon, Matt. You wanna... you want to i i have deemed you worthy of reading our next story. allowed to start reading. X-Men number 192. All right, Pat, I want to tell you about X-Men number 192. Fun games.
01:02:00
Speaker
fun games o Chris Claremont, by the way. Yeah. Sorry to interrupt, but we're getting a lot of punctuation in our titles here, which is unusual for Chris Claremont. He was taking a lot of the exclamation points off the end, but we're back. And he was doing a lot of just like one word titles.
01:02:22
Speaker
Remember? Yeah, that's true. Editorial must have got to him. Chrissy Claremont is the writer. Johnny Romita Jr. and Danny Green are the artists. Special thanks to Stevie Lehaloha.
01:02:35
Speaker
Lehaloha. Glynnis C. Ween is the colorist. Tommy Orzakowski is letter. Annie Nocenti is the editor. And Jim Silly is the editor-in-chief.
01:02:48
Speaker
no Release date January 8th, 1985. Cover date April 1985. Colossus! Metal muscles flexing, tears a septic cap out of the ground and peers into the hole beneath it. Is that what that is?
01:03:02
Speaker
i That's my best guess, although it's very big. Why else would you have a a concrete pillar in the ground with a handle on top of it? Okay, but why would you put your septic tank on the edge of a cliff miles away from your house? Mm-hmm.
01:03:21
Speaker
There's basically everybody what we're trying to tell you is equally. There's just a big plug in the ground. Yeah, yeah. It's heavy.
01:03:32
Speaker
Why is he doing it? Because Kurt, Peter and Rogue are all playing hide and seek sort of. They're wrestling, but they're hiding from each other while they do it. Kurt wins and in the process talks to Rogue about potentially having another power from Carol Danvers that she hasn't tapped into yet.
01:03:48
Speaker
A seventh power.
01:03:52
Speaker
A seventh sense? seventh sense? A precognition for impending danger. Where's the sixth one? I think that's the telepathy. Okay. I think that... Okay.
01:04:03
Speaker
That's science in the 616 universe includes six senses rather than your basic five. Okay. So what does Spider-Man have? Does he have a seventh sense or does he have a sixth sense?
01:04:14
Speaker
That's got to be... This sounds like a Spidey sense, which... I don't think they take it there, but you could really, you could build in some, uh, Spider-Verse stories with Carol Danvers, um, with what this, what this might suggest, you know, Kurt Rupert.
01:04:34
Speaker
Oh, Nightcrawler is the leader. He's the leader. He was the natural next choice after storm left, which I think is really very cool. Yeah. And I, do Ultimately, I don't think he wants it. My take right now is that it's not going to last too long. He doesn't want it. He's not very good at it.
01:04:52
Speaker
His leadership style is basically to throw his teammates in the lake and then do a tickle party. he just like Yeah. He's trying to get Rogue to display this power. And ultimately, it works.
01:05:13
Speaker
Right? Yes. Yeah. yeah He tickles her a bunch, and she predicts where he's going to pop up so she can slap the shit out of him. So, yeah, she gets upset ah with Kurt about pushing the issue for the tickling and for the Carol Danvers stuff, and she flies off to an old abandoned mansion up on the hill. he Yeah, she also... there We should mention that he...
01:05:40
Speaker
It's not just the Carol Danvers stuff. He's also like, hey, what if i give you a kiss? Like as yeah as a joke, but still pretty suggestively. The way that Kurt does. And he's like, what did I say? And it's like, stop trying to kiss women all the time.
01:05:58
Speaker
Like, it's not... maybe Maybe time has moved past this fucking particular prank, Kurt Wagner. Yeah, yeah. This is not ah is not your best moment, to Kurt. Man, i this whole scene, like, fucking...
01:06:16
Speaker
Colossus won't stop talking about Zaji. Shut up. Shut up. Oh my God. I do yeah not want to hear about Zaji anymore. I didn't want to hear about her to begin with.
01:06:30
Speaker
And again, they mentioned that Kitty is coming back from the airport. So the Colossus is explaining why he's not there. Yeah. Yeah. and he's stupid i Yeah, shut up, dude. I don't care. i don't care. exactly.
01:06:48
Speaker
Zashi is the dumbest. Okay. God, what there's so much else to talk. ah Oh, Storm. Storm is still here. They say Storm is on her way to go pick up Kitty with Professor Xavier. Storm. Oh, yeah.
01:07:03
Speaker
You were supposed to be fucking gone, dude. We saw her on a boat. Yeah, she was supposed to be leaving. And I'm guessing that boat is what turned into the galleon in the in medieval. But still, like. oh Man. wonder if this is, like, maybe this is one they had in their back pocket and were able to just, like, to put out after they...
01:07:27
Speaker
It was supposed to come out before, take place before all the Kulangath stuff and before... Maybe. That trip to New York. Maybe. i mean, yeah, I don't know. i What I do know is that um it they made a big deal about Storm leaving and they gave her a beautiful goodbye and everything. And it's been several issues and she's still fucking here. She's still here.
01:07:57
Speaker
All right. ah Is that all the stuff we needed to talk about here? For now. Okay. All right. They start walking towards this. but No, it's not, because why is there a mansion?
01:08:09
Speaker
How did they never notice this old abandoned mansion on the hill before? Oh, yeah. Apparently, the Xavier property is adjacent to another mansion's property, and that mansion has just been abandoned.
01:08:21
Speaker
ah Okay, man. Buy that property.
01:08:28
Speaker
Okay. All right. So they start walking towards ah the mansion so Kurt can apologize to Rogue. But suddenly a blinding white light shines through the night sky followed by a shockwave that knocks the two of them unconscious.
01:08:45
Speaker
Ooh. Ooh. Over at JFK Airport, x Xavier Storm and Rachel and a hidden Lockheed. they okay Oh, sorry. I missed Ileana. Yeah, they brought Ileana.
01:08:57
Speaker
To greet Kitty coming back from Japan. I think it makes sense. And fucking Ileana brings Lockheed. Yeah, she stuffs him in a bag. Sneaking a fucking dragon into the pre-9-11 world, Pat.
01:09:12
Speaker
Yeah, although it is, to be fair, it's where you pick up passengers, which, again, they don't let you that deep into the airport anymore, but you used to be able to do that. They wouldn't no they would never these days let you smuggle a dragon into the airport.
01:09:29
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They'd stop you well before. Also, there's a reference to the Dazzler graphic novel. Storm is like people hate mutants now more than ever after the Dazzler thing. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. I wonder what happened there. I don't know. Do you think we'll ever find out?
01:09:48
Speaker
hide It depends on if they ever actually come out with that fucking comic at this point.
01:09:56
Speaker
It's been years. So ah they're all waiting for Kitty and Wolverine to return from their excursion to Japan. But Rachel, a little overwhelmed by the crowd and her whole situation, she suddenly finds herself transported back to the future.
01:10:10
Speaker
Whoa. She's running an op with Kate Pride striking at the heart of Project Nimrod. What happened? Was her trip to the past all a dream? Or is this a dream?
01:10:23
Speaker
They probably won't keep going back to this well a hundred times, will they? I hope not. This is there's no reason. Sorry. Kate reveals her plan. She needed Rachel for access to this building, but she's the only one that'll be taking on Nimrod.
01:10:40
Speaker
She speaks the code word, Dark Phoenix. And suddenly Rachel is caught in a psychic whirlwind. A psychic whirlwind, Pat. That's right.
01:10:52
Speaker
Until a calm hand lands on her shoulder and asks if she's okay. It's present day Kitty Pryde. Who hasn't met this. Like hasn't been back since Rachel's been here. Yeah. um Rachel was just having a powerful daydream.
01:11:09
Speaker
But oddly, Kitty Pryde does recognize her from days of future past. When she was in the future. When she switched spots with her future self. Yeah, yeah. Despite being unconscious that whole time.
01:11:21
Speaker
There's there's so what huh it's not mentioned in the recap here, but she actually goes through this memory.
Public Tensions and Anti-Mutant Events
01:11:31
Speaker
she it's not clear exactly what happens, but all of a sudden she's in the future and then she gets transported back and then explains to herself through a panel that is three quarters thought bubble. Right. That Kate In doing this must have also scrambled her memories so she wouldn't remember this moment until this time when she finally flashed back. There's no reason for that to be there. i don't need to know that. ah And there's no reason that she couldn't have remembered that up to this point. I fully bought into it at this point.
01:12:07
Speaker
Right? Like I wasn't saying like... Wait, how did she? Oh, granted, we are the guys who tear apart all this kind of stuff. Maybe it's like, they were against us particularly, but still, i yeah, I definitely, I didn't need this.
01:12:25
Speaker
Chris Claremont confirmed eating menace listener.
01:12:30
Speaker
Also, Rachel is like hearing all the thoughts of people in the airport and a lot of them have anti mutant sentiments and she's trying to like work her way through that. And she's like, the professor told me I shouldn't eavesdrop. Meanwhile, the professor ah is in the airport lounge conducting a social study where he eavesdrops on everybody and writes it all down in a journal. That's not even the most bizarre thing that happens here is two different people are arguing in their thoughts.
01:13:06
Speaker
One person said yeah with each other. Yeah. with each other One person's like something about your mom. Your mom is a <unk> mutant and he's another person thinks, no, she's not. what but it that would It would have been so funny if they'd been like, there are other psychics here. here Quick, everybody on guard.
01:13:31
Speaker
No time for any of this now, though, Patrick. As Kurt and Peter regain consciousness and they rush towards that abandoned mansion to check on Rogue, remember? Because the big glow, the big glowing. Yeah, yeah.
01:13:46
Speaker
Oh, yeah. There is a big glowing. Mansion is still standing. On their way, though, they slip into a crater that's as smooth as glass and start finding trees and animals frozen covered in complex circuitry.
01:13:59
Speaker
Peter recognizes this as something that Warlock is capable of and remembers Warlock's father was following him to Earth to kill him. Shit.
01:14:12
Speaker
Rogue has an easier time figuring this out as inside the abandoned mansion she finds herself at the circuitry laden feet of Magus. Not Magus. Magus.
01:14:26
Speaker
maggus
01:14:29
Speaker
Quickly followed by Peter and Kurt, by the way. But Magus is formidable, surviving a few big whacks from Colossus and then wrapping an arm around him and trying to fly away. Kurt, though, manages to grab hold of one of Magus's legs and teleport just that leg to another location, putting him in enough pain to let go of Peter.
01:14:52
Speaker
It's creepy new trick. yeah Yeah. Oh, man. Yeah. to To think of the implications of it. Like he could do that with a human head. Yeah. yeah Ready to end it. Rogue kisses Magus, draining some of his power, but turning her into a circuitry person.
01:15:12
Speaker
As she copes with the secrets of the universe, Magus lets him know that he could kill them if he wanted. But they fought well and he'll let them live. <unk>s what I got to say now he's still threatening him. He's like, go find my son and bring him back to me or else I will kill you. But I am a sucker for the like worthy foe trope where two people fight.
01:15:37
Speaker
One of them is like, Hey, I underestimated you. You're a worthy foe. Why don't we, why don't we go our separate ways? um I'll tell you what I'm a sucker for is the trope, the Marvel specific trope where a villain is like,
01:15:54
Speaker
Your planet has beaten Galactus three times in recent memory. Oh, yeah. I love it. Every time I'm like, fuck. Very good. Kurt calls the rest of the team who arrive on the scene. He has only a moment to question his leadership abilities before a cop shows up and tells them they're not allowed to hang out at this abandoned mansion.
01:16:15
Speaker
Xavier wipes his memory. Cool, dude. but Back at it. you Logan's even like, are you wiping memories again, Charlie? Yeah. And he doesn't he doesn't acknowledge the comment.
01:16:28
Speaker
And the cop leaves only to be eaten by Magus, the cop killer. Oh, no. Months later. Oh, it does say months later. Holy shit, I missed that.
01:16:40
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. In an epilogue, Charles mc Xavier is leaving a seminar ah that he just taught on mutants at Columbia University. Presumably the one he was gaining notes getting notes for by... yeah like he was writing down people's secret thoughts.
01:16:56
Speaker
As he passes by some anti-mutant graffiti, he's suddenly surrounded by a group of shadowy students, some of whom he recognizes from the seminar. They're clearly ready to attack him for his mutant sympathies, so in desperation, he psychically freezes them all.
01:17:12
Speaker
He calls it a Psylocke.
01:17:16
Speaker
yeah Just another example, we keep seeing it over and over, is this example of things you know that Claremont is eventually going to use as like names for characters. Yeah, yeah. that are just Words he's invented or words that he discovered and then uses like 10 times in a row, and then suddenly a character named that appears.
01:17:36
Speaker
Oh, a Cylon. Like how many times does he use the word Gambit? you know Yes, he uses Jubilee in the next issue, too. I think he even will see i think he even names a character. or Did he already?
01:17:50
Speaker
Names a character Jubilee. like a oh yeah Like a character that isn't like doesn't end up becoming anything.
01:18:00
Speaker
Also, another one and one other thing I want to talk about here If x Xavier is a public intellectual, like a teacher and yeah stuff in a lecture. Yeah. Why is nobody like, uh, you used to be in a wheelchair.
01:18:16
Speaker
Well, I'm sure if that happens, it happens off panel. Didn't you used to be, uh, paralyzed for your whole life, um, for the rest of your life?
01:18:27
Speaker
Well, actually, my earthly body was destroyed when it was transformed into an alien. I ah regrew a new body and I just transferred my consciousness into it. No big deal.
01:18:40
Speaker
but even Do you think is he had to switch mistake do you think he had to switch primary care physicians? yeah like I can't risk anybody discovering that I have an entirely new body.
01:18:53
Speaker
yeah Insurance will never cover this. ah But in the chaos, he, ah so he's he, he Psylocks all these dudes, but in the chaos, he missed one of his attackers.
01:19:08
Speaker
A brick connects with his head and he collapses, freeing the students from his Psylock. Realizing he's a mutant, they beat him on the ground until he stops moving and they wander off to the bar to get a drink.
01:19:23
Speaker
Yeah. the Banality of evil. The end. This is, for such a silly comic where we have space aliens and a hide-and-seek game, these last few pages are harrowing. Yes. It it is comes out of fucking nowhere.
01:19:44
Speaker
Yeah. And it seems it seems to me like we're going over some of the softer... And me too. And me too. And not just you. It seems to me too. Whatever you're going to say. that's That sports are awesome and we should watch them all the time. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Yes.
01:20:00
Speaker
i No, it seems like they yeah it not seems like they're very obviously building to some big anti mutant event because it's being seeded through. I think it was through like the last X-Men episode and this one. Right.
01:20:17
Speaker
But this is where it, like, comes home. And it is upsettingly real, I think, is the ah the chilling part of it. Yeah. I mean, we're going to see some of that when, um you know, if, let's just say if, if we ever get around to reading Dazzler. Hmm. Who knows?
01:20:37
Speaker
And they keep making reference to that, right? Like, Dazzler's movie came out and it's increased anti-mutant sentiment. But... yeah yeah so something's brewing and it ain't good right other than that this was a silly one this is a silly one yeah just they fought they fought magus again if you weren't reading both new mutants and x-men you'd be like what the fuck is this yeah what is this thing is warlock ah
01:21:09
Speaker
who is warlock Adam Warlock from the Infinity War? Yeah. Who is Warlock and why does his dad look like that? All right. let's All right. Let's get right. Matt. What's one one oasis in this exhausting series of issues?
01:21:29
Speaker
Because we're about to get to another exhausting issue. Oh, I thought that one was pretty exhausting. Oh, really? Yeah. I like that one. My vote for every one of these issues is exhausting. I liked fun and games.
01:21:44
Speaker
All right. So this next one that I want to read to you, Pat, before you get a chance to get your crummy little pulse on it, Uncanny X-Men in number eight, the adventures of Lockheed the Space Dragon and his pet girl, Kitty, writer, Chris Claremont, artist, Steve Lealoha, original idea, joe Duffy.
X-Men and New Mutants Narrative Styles
01:22:05
Speaker
Sure. Colorist Glenn Ween, letterer Tom Orszakowski, editor Ann Nocenti, and editor-in-chief Dim Shooter. Release date, September 18th, 1984. Cover date, December 1984. Alright, we're taking a step back in time. All DX men the New Mutants gather around a campfire in the wooded area of the Xavier Estate while Wolverine regales everyone with a samurai fable.
01:22:35
Speaker
it's the artist is pretty sure he's telling a scary story but the word balloons are filled in with ah a story about samurai nobility clear about you fucking weeb it's also very it's also we can also already see a little bit of that that Steve Lealoha is clearly very inspired by what Bill Sienkiewicz is doing he's yes yeah yeah he's at this point like a ah ah the the very middle point between if you draw a line between John Romita Jr. and Sienkiewicz you find Steve Leoloa
01:23:22
Speaker
Yeah, it's a very good ah compromise between realism and he's getting a little wacky with it. Yeah, maybe even a little Frank Miller in there. Like a little bit of Frank Miller inspiration. Anyway. Sure.
01:23:37
Speaker
We take a few pages to recap everyone's emotional states, mostly almost 100% about Storm. Everybody's feelings about how Storm doesn't have powers anymore. And a little bit about Colossus and Zagi. And Zagi.
01:23:53
Speaker
Which Amanda Sefton is trying to comfort him. You'll be all right, hon. Yeah, it looks it looks a little flirty. i don't know. It's cute. I think it's cute to think of Amanda Sefton as as Nightcrawler's partner, as both of them are just harmlessly flirty all the time.
01:24:09
Speaker
Yeah. ah So we recap everyone's most states before Xavier tells everyone it's time to wrap things up and turn in for the night. Everyone begs him to let them stay just a little longer. And Ileana just starts telling a new story. Yeah, she's if I start, he's not going to stop me. I think she knows he's afraid of her. Yeah, she does this constantly. She's just like, if I just do stuff, no no one gets in my fucking way.
01:24:37
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. ah God, I love Ileana so much. Her story, she says, will return the compliment of Kitty's fairy tale.
01:24:49
Speaker
Oh, boy. Insert title card. This is another just Star Wars thing, by the way. We see a giant spaceship, the Starliner Chicago.
01:25:02
Speaker
stupid. Also, Stevie Hunter and Wolverine take a bet on whether or not the story will make Kitty laugh. What the fuck?
01:25:13
Speaker
Yeah, she doesn't need cheering up. it's And what about why? No one said it was going to be a funny story to make her laugh like what? What? What are you? going Yeah, this is like what they fucking bet on whether Mr. Beast is going to say the word seven or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just a useless prop bet. Wolverine and Stevie Hunter have a problem.
01:25:34
Speaker
um Chicago, the spaceship, is under attack by space pirates. The entire crew are gunned down, and the shipmaster's daughter, Princess Leia, I mean, Kitty Pryde, gets kidnapped by a big green armored man. he's The armor is green. The man is not green. Although we don't see the man. He he could be green underneath. i don't In which case, I would love him.
01:25:55
Speaker
ah She's taken, Kitty Pryde's taken to her captor's lair where she meets Darth the White Queen, a dead ringer for Emma Frost and her consort, the Black King.
01:26:07
Speaker
Who's not a dead ringer for Sebastian Shaw. No. She wants Kitty's power. I think it's supposed to be. I think it's supposed to be. But Steve even Lealoha just hasn't quite gotten it yet. but Sorry. Go ahead.
01:26:18
Speaker
Yeah, baby. she's There's also one more man there. She's got a bunch of like weird alien and robot goons. But there's one other man there just named Bertani. don't i don know. Yeah, there's just Bertani.
01:26:34
Speaker
Damn it, Bertani! I told you to set the guns to the forward shields! sorry so a sa Sorry, ma'am! It's just like interaction like that.
01:26:46
Speaker
Anyway, the white queen wants Kitty's power and to raise her as sort of a servant daughter. But Kitty refuses. The queen grabs Kitty by the arm, telling her she has no choice and starts turning her into crystal.
01:27:01
Speaker
It's very interesting. They refer to it as crystal through this whole story, but. Except for when they do it in Wolverine, they call it ah ultra ice. Ultra ice. Yeah, sure.
01:27:14
Speaker
But the the point is that it's like, it's it's like diamond. Like, it's so interesting that here. Yeah. They're seeding Emma Frost with diamond power. Maybe not seeding, but. Yeah, they didn't know this would happen, but.
01:27:30
Speaker
Unless they did. Yeah, maybe what if Chris Claremont wrote and wrote a note not to be opened for 30 years. Grant Morrison found it in ah the floorboards of the ex And they were like, wait a minute.
01:27:49
Speaker
I can fulfill this this dream.
01:27:54
Speaker
um she only She only gets Kitty's arm, though. Kitty's arm turns to Crystal. ah As Kitty instinctively phases through the floor below her and escapes, having never done anything like that before.
01:28:06
Speaker
But as she and her servants start searching for Kitty, their pirate ship comes under attack. It's Wolverine, Nightcrawler, and a dragon that we know as Lockheed, but it seems like they're trying to hide it.
01:28:18
Speaker
He's a title character in the story. Like... We know this is Lockheed. Yeah, they do the same thing that they did in the Brood Saga, where you see a close-up of a dragon, and it's supposed to be like, oh, it's going to be a big, mean dragon, it's going to kill everybody, and then it's a tiny dragon that licks Kitty's little nosy.
01:28:36
Speaker
Exactly. Okay. Kitty, confused and scared, runs into a room only to find the White Queen suspending her catatonic parents parents in the air. She turns them to Crystal and then shatters them right in front of Kitty's eyes, breaking her. Yeesh.
01:28:53
Speaker
Before she can approach, the Queen is hit with a huge blast of fire. She and the King run off as Kitty is rescued by the X-Men. Yeah. yeah and in and it dooo ten be up Now, when we say the X-Men here, it's just Nightcrawler, Wolverine, and Lockheed. My favorite X-Men lineup. ah They get the heck out of there on their ship. iite Their ship Ileana.
01:29:27
Speaker
Yeah. What? i Okay. I'm already starting to feel uncomfortable. If you were... All right. If you were out camping... Me and you are out camping with all of our friends in a big campsite around a fire. And I'm like, guys, I have a story for you.
01:29:45
Speaker
And I start telling you about something me and all our friends did together. Yeah. And start describing all the characters. And I use your names.
01:29:56
Speaker
And I use your social circumstances and your personality traits. Yeah. And I replace certain details about you with, uh, like, kitty's kitty grew up as a princess. Yeah.
01:30:11
Speaker
you would be worverly Wolverine is a merciless killer. You would stand up and be like, Matt, please stop. Matt. Yeah, yeah. Can you stop this? I don't i don't want you to do this. Wait till she gets to storm. And when it comes to me, when I introduce myself and I'm like, I'm the all-powerful ship that you drive around. Um...
01:30:32
Speaker
ah
01:30:35
Speaker
um Then they get into Ileana and Chicago blows up Remember, that's the name of the ship. Years pass. Kitty trains to become an X-Man herself as she grows up. Eventually, they're summoned by.
01:30:49
Speaker
They do a montage of her like growing up and they have little. It's like training scenes that are reminiscent of things Kitty went through. Yeah. ah In the background, just like quick sketches. But in one of them.
01:31:02
Speaker
Space Wolverine is wearing like his Japanese robe, his Japanese dress robe. Is there a space Japan that they visited together?
01:31:13
Speaker
was Space Ogun and space Yukio in space Hokkaido. Is that how you pronounce that?
01:31:26
Speaker
I think it's Tokyo. It's how you pronounce ah um Eventually, they're summoned by Charles x Xavier to attend a party at his Imperial starport where she meets Xavier and becomes immediately infatuated with Pete.
01:31:47
Speaker
Lockheed seems to, add think again, you'd stand up and you'd Matt, fucking stop it.
01:31:53
Speaker
And immediately she's in love with Pete. That guy. And then you point to somebody else setting her on the fire. ah Lockheed seems distracted at the party, though, and wanders off. Wolverine, concerned, quietly follows him.
01:32:12
Speaker
Wolverine was right to follow him, too, as he witnesses Lockheed being ambushed by five other tiny dragons. But four of them teleport Lockheed away before Wolverine can rescue him, leaving behind one purple tiny dragon for questioning.
01:32:28
Speaker
Before Wolverine can get to it, though, he's encased in crystal. The White Queen. Not crystal.
01:32:36
Speaker
Ice. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Ultra ice. Yeah. He's caught in a Phrygia beam and encased in ultra ice. Had to correct you there, Matt. There's also a scene here where Kitty is using the...
01:32:50
Speaker
because Xavier's with the she are and Lalandra but there's a scene yeah where Kitty is using a like a machine that changes her outfit and I can only imagine that's because she told Ileana about it like 500 fucking times right right she's Ileana did I ever tell you about that time while she was do you ever you did I ever tell you about that time that I had a machine that can make me any costume I wanted I When here's another costume I created when I was using the costume machine on the Shi'ar base. Or they're just, they're just like at the mall and she's like, oh, I could have made all of that with the costume machine. Kitty, stop.
01:33:29
Speaker
she There's also Wolverine takes off to follow Lockheed. Lockheed can fly and so can Wolverine because he's got a fucking jet pack. Jet pack Wolverine. Jet pack Wolverine. I need that action figure. I know.
01:33:46
Speaker
All right. ah Emma. Sorry. Not Emma Frost. The White Queen immediately announces her presence by holographically projecting herself into the party.
01:33:59
Speaker
telling Kitty that the little purple dragon that she's got, the one that isn't Lockheed, she tells him tells everyone it is Lockheed ah and kills it.
01:34:11
Speaker
o Kitty swears vengeance and the gang sets off to find her.
01:34:20
Speaker
But they need a pilot first. For some reason, they find one in a scummy dive bar. A broken, beat down, drunken has been pilot named Storm. Pat, something is really familiar about this. and I don't know what.
01:34:33
Speaker
Oh, it's Star Wars.
01:34:39
Speaker
Star Wars. What scene from Star Wars? I don't remember this happening in Star I don't remember oh Aurora Monroe. yeah i You remember when they're looking for a pilot and they find one in a scummy dive bar, a broken, beat-down, drunken has-been pilot named Han Solo?
01:34:58
Speaker
Yeah, I think I do remember something like that. Okay. This a lot like that. I don't know that the one was inspired by the other, but you know what, but Pat, I'm not going to argue with you.
01:35:11
Speaker
I'll leave. Yeah, maybe this is where Star Wars got that. ill leave it to the I'll leave it to the emailers to write in and tell you you're wrong and that none of this is inspired by Star Wars. um Also, at this point, Storm must have stood up, right? Where they go into a bar and the pilot they're looking for is drunk and surly and shouting at everybody because she lost her power. And then it turns out she's named Storm. Yeah.
01:35:42
Speaker
Well, Storm's companion Rogue tries to shoot Kitty away, but Kitty gives an it I don't like you. My friend doesn't like you either.
01:35:55
Speaker
But Kitty gives an inspiring speech, and it turns out Storm also knew Lockheed.
01:36:03
Speaker
They're flying through a black hole now, and after another inspiring sp pep talk, Storm is brave enough to do the job. Hokie religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good ah crystal arm at your side, kid. i got to say, i got really lost here on why they were going to these different locations. It works. They end up where they didn't intend to be, but need to be. I'll i'll say sometimes while watching Star Wars, the same thing can happen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very Star Wars inspired. Yeah.
01:36:37
Speaker
They arrive on a planet on the other side of the the the whatever black hole or something. And to Kitty's surprise, Lockheed is there alive and well in orgy. Apparently, this is an all-lady dragon planet.
01:36:55
Speaker
They kidnapped Lockheed to bone down and create an entirely next generation. It's a big dragon orgy. Gift.
01:37:03
Speaker
ah Okay. Whatever Chris Bermont wants to write. Look. It's a strange thing to... Pat, they say write what you... not have to include. They say write what you know.
01:37:21
Speaker
ah But they were followed. The White Queen and her crew attack. There's a big stupid fight. Wolverine breaks free. lock Lockheed actually dies this time, and Kitty resists the White Queen's influence and breaks her. She tells Pete she's not in love with them. Again, they're both sitting there listening to this fucking story.
01:37:39
Speaker
She tells Pete she's not in love with them. She's said to tear over Lockheed's dead body, and that brings him back to life. Fucking... Pokemon the movie-ass ending. yeah She literally sheds a tear. It lands on Lockheed and he lives again. Oh my god. story ends. Everyone wonders this if this is really what Illyana thinks of them and everyone goes to bed.
01:38:02
Speaker
there's also is There's also a scene at the end where it's like, okay, we'll leave ah Lockheed on the fuck planet. He's gonna be happier here than out in space with us. He's gonna be happier here fucking forever than not out in space with us. And then... yeah um they get in the ship and Lockheed is there.
01:38:20
Speaker
And he's and oh what they say, and Ilyana's like, see, he fucked really, really fast. And so he didn't need to stay. Yeah, and got everything done. And Lockheed, also in real life, like around the fire, is probably like, you couldn't leave me on the fuck plan? What? Also, it's like, stop talking about how fast I fuck.
01:38:42
Speaker
This sucks. Also, when Kitty, so in in the real world, before they go to bed, Kitty looks at Lockheed. And is like... Oh, God. And it's like... This is her reason for not being in love with Peter. She's like, you miss me, buddy? And looks at her and in her imagination, she's a hot guy.
01:39:01
Speaker
And thinks to herself the same thing she thought when she met Peter. Gee, he's cute. And Lockheed looks at her and sees a lady dragon. And... Really fucking weird to imply a romantic subtext between Kitty and a dragon.
01:39:21
Speaker
Yes. And to be clear, this Illyana being weird. No, no, not at this point. At this point, this is Kitty. Oh. At this point, this is we're back in the real world. Okay. i didn't i I got my timeline mixed up. So everybody's weird here. Nobody is none or without sin in the world, in the bestial world of the X-Men.
01:39:43
Speaker
Weird. Real weird. Weird. Weird wild stuff. Weird wild stuff. I don't think there's a point that he actually says that. Johnny Carson.
01:39:57
Speaker
So. What did you think of this arc?
Narrative Slump and Team Disjointedness
01:40:01
Speaker
Let me pull two highlights. Okay. Because that's all I have. This was this was a tough. Really tough. Tough four issues to read.
01:40:11
Speaker
But. ah Number one. Okay. Starting in X-Men 192. Peter is wearing a belt around his neck. That's his that's his new style. A new addition to his costume. it is just a black leather belt buckled around his neck. And you love it.
01:40:31
Speaker
I love it. Okay. Bold choice. I hope that he keeps it. I mean, this is the bondage era of the X-Men and it's only. Yeah. yeah It's only going to get more so It's starting and it's starting with Colossus. I love that.
01:40:46
Speaker
Okay. i And then one very funny moment in this annual number eight where Ileana announces the adventures of Lockheed the space dragon and his pet girl Kitty as the name. As soon as she says Kitty echoing from the real world, Kitty is going,
01:41:10
Speaker
This very funny. Again, you would be doing that the whole time, but you wouldn't just go like, ugh. You'd be like, stop. Stop. No, seriously. Seriously. Look at me. Stop. At least call her Kate.
01:41:24
Speaker
Or no, this was...
01:41:28
Speaker
this was not fun. now And like, we've gone through it's we're reading comics, right? Not everyone is going to be a home run. It's just sure. Three consecutive issues. And then an annual to all be this sort of like run around the time wastey. It's, it is certainly not Chris Claremont's trademark.
01:41:52
Speaker
No, it feels like we're entering a kind of a slump. Um, it it It feels like there aren't really he doesn't have a these don't feel like strong ideas. These feel like a like a space between ideas.
01:42:08
Speaker
Like maybe he has ideas for the future. And Nimrod seems a little promising. Right. um But at this moment, it feels like. He used all his big good ideas.
01:42:22
Speaker
Yeah, time to come up with more. And maybe maybe maybe just John Romita Jr. isn't the collaborator that some of his other artists were, right? Like maybe a big part of Claremont's success up till now was that he had a bunch of really, really good storytellers and writers. Yeah, yeah. and but not Maybe not writers, but plotters that he was um pairing with like John Byrne and Dave Cockrum and ah Paul Smith and...
01:42:50
Speaker
maybe John Romito Jr. just doesn't have the just isn't quite as a as much of a driving force for the story. Right. Which makes sense. He's well. um
01:43:03
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, they're they're clearly also building to something. you think i assume. What what what is it like in in what way?
01:43:15
Speaker
I like that. There's some sort of anti-mutant event coming up because the, the sentiment has been just kind of like mentioned as an aside in just about every issue we've read for the last two or three episodes.
01:43:35
Speaker
Part of me wonders if he's treading water, right? Because there is a big event that happens, um, In about a year and a half from the issues we just read.
01:43:50
Speaker
um We'll get to it in about October of this year. Interesting. And i wonder if he's sort of treading water because a bad event is coming, Secret Wars 2.
01:44:08
Speaker
And I wonder if he's been informed of that. And he's just like, I want to hold off my big plans until after Secret Wars 2. Yeah, so Jim Stupid doesn't ruin them again. Yeah, I don't want him to get in the way of them. and Yeah, yeah. ah He also, I mean, he there's, unbeknownst to him, a plan is in motion at this point.
01:44:31
Speaker
to to bring back a character that was never supposed to come back and factor launches intrigue yes I don't want to get any deeper than that but like X factor will happen we'll get to it in July and stay tuned Chris Claremont almost quits Marvel over it um So that's not impacting this here, but I also i but i wonder if but other people of the company know that that's coming and are are like maybe putting roadblocks in Chris's way, right? Where he's like, oh, I have an idea that I want to do, and they're like, eh, maybe not yet. We we have a plans for that character.
01:45:14
Speaker
But this team also hasn't really coalesced, right? like He's lost Cyclops Jean Grey, he's lost Storm.
01:45:23
Speaker
and um now he's lost storm Kitty and Wolverine were gone for a miniseries. um He seems to be losing the plot with Nightcrawler. Like he doesn't seem to be too sure of what to do with Nightcrawler. Colossus kind of gart got really fucked up by Secret Wars. Rachel Summers, he hasn't he he hasn't really found his footing with Rachel Summers yet. wrote Yeah, he hasn't quite explored it.
01:45:49
Speaker
Rogue seems like the only character here who's like really solid. Yeah, it someone that has a future. And maybe Kitty and Wolverine will be once over the next couple issues now that they're back. but Yeah. yeah Anyway.
01:46:05
Speaker
Well...
01:46:20
Speaker
I got, I would say, a great one for you today, Matt. Oh, please. i would i You know what? you know They've been lacking a little lately. We haven't had anything that I've wanted to buy. So this one, i' I'm really hoping I can get a deal and a steal here.
01:46:36
Speaker
Yeah, this one is short and sweet. It's a little classified style ad, but they lit this one up in blue. It says, Hacky Sack, like an expert.
01:46:46
Speaker
Send $2 shipping and handling to Hacky Sack, P.O. Box 800110. That's too many. Oh, Houston, Texas, 77280. Hacky Sack.
01:47:03
Speaker
hackyack Hacky sack like an expert. So for $2, which is going to work out to about $6.50 in money. What? You. were
01:47:16
Speaker
What do get? Honestly, i'm not sure what you get. You just. You'll just. If you do this. You'll be able to hacky sack like an expert. We promise. That's right.
01:47:29
Speaker
No, I don't want this. No.
01:47:35
Speaker
He's got an eye out, stuff that could buy out. If you had time machine that you'd like to try out, it's at Steel's Steel.
01:47:47
Speaker
Okay, Pat. Well, that was a great deal. Thank you ah Everybody, thank you so much for listening. Thank you for being here. Remember to like, rate, ah subscribe to us on YouTube, on Instagram, on your social media feeds. um Share with a friend. Please, please share with a friend. The more ah you do getting, the more work you do getting the word out, and it's small work, just pressing some buttons sometimes. Yeah, the more you just a little work. To get the work the word out
01:48:21
Speaker
the more people might find the show and people might like it. And then our community will grow. Speaking of our community, there's a link to the discord in our show notes and a link to the Patreon, which you can find a patreon.com slash mutant menace. Those are two places that you can engage with our community and ah they're fun.
01:48:39
Speaker
They're fun places. Yeah. Get some cool little neat stuff. Yes. You throw some little sneak peeks in the discord once in a while. Hell yeah. What else?
01:48:50
Speaker
A huge thank you to Krils Wilson for the music and Julia Selly for providing the voice of Trish Tilby in our intro. Oh, yeah. And then just our ah our famous sign off, Matt.
01:49:03
Speaker
Okay. Yeah. I'll just say the say this the famous sign offs that we say at the end of every episode. This world puts Ballybrand to shame. that That's right, folks. And as always, my apologies if I startled anyone.
01:49:22
Speaker
Huh?